[Published on 07/28/20 by Digital Imaging Lab (1142)] It is the responsibility of the researcher to obtain any copyright clearances. Permission to publish material from this/these transcript(s) must be obtained from the Supervisor of Reference Services and/or the L. Tom Perry Special Collection Coordinating Committee. [Notes added by transcribers are in square brackets. Dashes in square brackets indicate unclear words or letters. indicate words the author inserted to a previously written line.] VMSS 792 – Elizabeth Wood Kane papers (S6) Number of Pages: 5907 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p001.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some words] Mason, E K Price Fallon Mallery. Fallon Mallery Fallon Mieler. Ashmead [-] Ingersoll. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p002.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Sessions 1850. J. J. Lewis, Clarkson, Rayboed Gerhard J. W. Ashmead C. Ingersoll. J. W. Ashmead. H M Ilvaine. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p003.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Bottomry February 26. 1830 Contract March 16. 1830 Wager. April 23d 1830 Collision May 24. 1850 Port June 6 1830 Collision August 10. 1849 Salvage. June 3d 1830. Contract Mach 14. 1849. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p004.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] [-] C Brewster – Vandyke [-] P. Morris – Wharton ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p005.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850. Collision June 22d 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wages &c. July 26. 1850 In PerSonam Wages – July 22. 1850 Wharfage August 6. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p006.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Report of Canl a[--] mag[--]s ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p007.jpg) Collision Oct 21. 1850. Work & Materials Oct 26. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p009.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] [-]eredith – Wharton Williams – Campbell [-] Geo T Campbell F W Hubbell. Gibbons. S[-] Geo T. Campbell J. M[--]sh Waln. Gibbons. Lubbell – Waln. Gibbons. Campbell. VanDyke. Campbell [--]mpbell – Razboed F. W. Hubbell. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p010.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 6. 1850. Wages - [-] Perlonam" Augt 19. 1850. Work & Materials Augt 24. 1850. Wages - Summary" August 24. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p011.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Bottomry Febry 26. 1850. Contract March 16. 1850. Wages April 23d 1850 Collision May 24. 1850. Fort June 6 1850 Collision Augt 10. 1849 Salvage June 3d 1850 Contract March 14. 1849 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p012.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Bottomry Febry 26. 1850. Contract March 16 1850 Wages April 23d 1850 Collision May 24. 1850 Port June 6 1850 Collision August 10. 1849 Salvage June 3d 1850 Contract March 14. 1849 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p013.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 6, 1850. Wages In PerSonam" Augt 19, 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p014.jpg) Bottomry Febry 26. 1850 Contract March 16. 1850 Wages April 23d 1850 Collision May 24. 1850. Port June 6 1850 Salvage. June 3d 1850 Contract March 14. 1849 Wharfage June 18. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p015.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21, 1850 Collision June 22d 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wages &c In Personam" July 26. 1850 Wages. [-]hon ReHearing [-] 19 Sept 1850. Salvage August 6. 1850 Wages In Personam" August 19. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p016.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wages. In Personam" August 19. 1850. Work & Materials August 24. 1850 Collision Augt 23d 1850. Work & M. Augt 28. 1850. Wages - Sept. 3d 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p017.jpg) Collision Augt 23d 1850 Work & m. Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 3d 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p018.jpg) Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850. Collision June 22d 1850. Collision July 15. 1850. Wages &c In PerSonam" July 26. 1850 Wages July 22d 1850 Salvage August 6. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p019.jpg) Bottomry February 26 .1850 Contract March 16. 1850 Wages - April 23. 1850 Collision May 24. 1850 Port June 6. 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p020.jpg) Bottomry February 26. 1850 Contract March 16. 1850 Wages - April 23d 1850 Collision May 24. 1850 Port June 6 1850 Collision August 10. 1849 Salvage. June 3d 1850 Contract March 14. 1849 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p021.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850. Wages to In PerSonam" July 26. 1850 Wages - Petition fr ReHearing [--]led 19 Sept. 1850 Salvage - Augt 6. 1850. Wages In PerSonam August 19. 1850 Collision August 23d 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p022.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wages In PerSonam July 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p023.jpg) Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850. [-]ppeal from Clerks [---]ation of Costs - ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p024.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage August 6. 1850 Wages - In PerSonam Augt 19. 1850 Collision August 23d 1850 Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 [-]ppeal by Libellant [-]irm Taxation of cost - Collision Sept 13. 1850 Wages S[-] Contract Oct. 8th 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p025.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6. 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wages to [--] PerSonam July 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p026.jpg) [page is cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850. Wharfage. June 18. 1850. Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850. Collision July 15. 1850. Wages. In PerSonam July 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p027.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage August 6. 1850. Wages - In PerSonam" Augt 19. 1850 Collision August 23d 1850 Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. [-]ppeal by Libellants [---] Taxation of costs - Wages Sept 26. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p028.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port Wharfage - June 6. 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octo 5. 1850 Contract Oct. 14. 1850 Collision Octo 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p029.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Report of Comt [--]essing Damages Wages. Jany 11. 1851. Report of Com[-]t [--]tubuting fund &c. "Nisi" Report of Com[-]t [--]pessing Damages. "Nisi" [-]ort. Jany 1. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p030.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 5. 1850 Wages. In personam Augt 19. 1850 Collision Augt 23d 1850 Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Septr 3d 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octo 5. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p031.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 6. 1850. No Answer Wages In personam Aug 19. 1850 Collision Augt 23d 1850. Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Appeal by Libellant [--]om Taxation of Costs. Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision Octo 5. 1850. no answer ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p032.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6. 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wager &c [--] Personam July 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p033.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18, 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wager In Personam July 26, 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p034.jpg) Port Jany 1. 1850 Contract Jany 4. 1850. Wages- Jany 11. 1851. Wages Jany 14. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p035.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port M[---]age Jun [-] 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision Octo 5. 1850 Contract October 14. 1850 Collision Octo 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p036.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 6. 1850 Wages- In personam" Augt 19. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850. Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision October 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p037.jpg) [page torn in half, obscuring some text] 3d 1850 1850 Collision June 21. 1850. Collision July 15. 1850. Wages. [--] PerSonam [--]ly 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p038.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt 5, 1850. Collision Aug 23d. 1850. Collision Sept 3, 1850 Collision No appearance, [--] Sept 13. 1850. Collision Oct. 5. 1850. Contract Octo 14. 1850. Salvage Oct 18. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p039.jpg) Salvage Oct 18. 1850 Materials Oct 21. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850 Collision Oct 22. 1850 Co[--]s Report assessing Damages- Commissiones Report [--]hesst Damages & Respondts Exceptions Work & Materials- Oct 26. 1850. Wages. Novr 11, 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p040.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850 Salvage June 3d, 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850. Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision July 15. 1850. Wages In PerSonam no Answer July 26. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p042.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Mason EK Price Fallon Mallery Fallon Mallery Fallon Miller Ashmead C. Ingersoll. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p043.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Charter party April 11. 1848 Wages &c May 31. 1848 Contract Sept 9. 1848 Collision Febry 7. 1849 Salvage. May 22. 1849 Materials July 29. 1849 Materials July 30. 1849 Salvage Oct. 22.d 1849 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p044.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] I. I. Lewis Clarkson Rayboed Gerhard J.W. Ashmead C. Ingersoll J. W. Ashmead HM J Craine ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p045.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port March 26. 1850. Bottomry Febry 26. 1850 Contract March 16. 1850. Wages - April 23d 1850 Collision May 24. 1850. Oct: 22. 1849 Contract - Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p046.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Collision Oct 21. 1850. Collision Oct 22. 1850. Work & Materials October 26. 1850 Materials. November 16 1850. Materials November 16. 1850. Wages Decr 12. 1850 Wages Nov. 25. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p047.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Collision Oct 22. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p048.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850. Collision Augt 23d 1850 Collision Septr 3d 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p049.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850. Salvage June 3.d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 30. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850 Wages &c In PerSonam July 26. 1850. Salvage Augt 5. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p050.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Materials. November 16. 1850. Materials November 16 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p051.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Collision Sept 3d 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850. Salvage- C.A.V. Oct 18. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850. Collision Oct 22. 1850. Petition to open Decree – ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p052.jpg) Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850 Salvage Octr 18. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850. Collision Oct. 22. 1850. Petition to Open decree. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p053.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Port June 6 1850. Salvage June 3. 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850. Supplies June 30. 1850 Collision July 15. 1850. Wages &c PerSonam July 26. 1850. Salvage Augt 5. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p054.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] [-]ort (Wharfage) June 6 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision 1850 Dec 13. De[-] Octr 5. 1850 for $10.63 & Co[--] Contract October 14. 1850 Collision October 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p055.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort June 6. 1850. Salvage June 3d 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Aug 23. 1850. Collision Sept 3d 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision October 5. 1850. Contract October 14. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p056.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage. Oct 18. 1850. Materials Oct 21. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850. Collision Octr 22. 1850. Comnt Report Assessing Damages - Comnt Report assessig damages - & Exceptions by Respondent - ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p057.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage Augt. 6. 1850 Wages In PerSonam" Augt 19. 1850. Collision Augt. 23. 1850 Work & materials Augt 28. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p058.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] [-]ort (Wharfage) June 6 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Aug 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision Oct 5. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p059.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] [-]ort (Wharfage). June 6d 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision August 23. 1850 Collision Septr 3d 1850 Collision Septr 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850 Contract Octr 14. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p060.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] rt (Wharfage) June 6 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision S[--]t 3. 1850 [---]ision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850 [--]tact Octr 14. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p061.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Work & Materials October 26. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p062.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wharfage. June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 22. 1850. Collision July 15. 1850. Wages &c In PerSonam" July 26. 1850 Wages July 22. 1850. Wharfage Augt 6. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p063.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wharfage June 18. 1850. Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision June 21. 1850. Collision June 22d 1850 Collision July 15. 1850. Wages &c. PerSonam" July 26. 1850 Wages July 22. 1850 Wharfage August 6. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p064.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort Jany 1. 1851. Contract Januay 4. 1851 Wages Januay 11. 1851. Wages Jany 14. 1851. Report of Connt assessing wages - [---] 6 Feby 1851. Petition by Libellants apportionment of [--]rage decreed - ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p065.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort (Wharfage) June 6 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept. 3. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Oct 5. 1850 Contract October 14. 1850 Collision Octr. 21. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p066.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort Wharfage - June 6. 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850. Collision Octr 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p067.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Report of Comt district - [-]ng Fund. Absolutely. Port January 1. 1850. Contract January 4. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p068.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring text] Tort Jany 1. 1851 Contract Jany 4. 1851 Wages Jany 11. 1851. Wages Jany 14. 1851 Materials - Feby 12. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p070.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort Wharfage June 6– 1850. Wharfage June 18. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept. 3d 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850 Fort Jany 1. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p071.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort Jany 1. 1851 Contract Jany 4. 1851 Wages Jany 11. 1851 Wages Jany 14. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p072.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] J. J. Lewis Clarkson Rayboed Gerhard. Mason EK Price Fallon Mallery Fallon Mallery Fallon Miller [pencil written on the lower right side of page] Lift open by Com[---] Fallon. Mr Th[---] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p073.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] ED Farr Mann W. S. Herst. W. G. Smith. W. G. Smith. B. H Brewster. AD. Farr. Van Dyke. Campbell William-Riddle ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p074.jpg) Fort Whanfage [-]une 6 1850 Whanfage June 18. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850. Collision Sept 3. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Collision Octr 5. 1850. Contract Oct 14. 1850. Collision Oct 21. 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p075.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] eredith – Wharton Williams Campbell Campbell. FW Hubbell Gibbons Campbell Van Dyke Campbell. [-]mp[-]e: Rayboed. F.W Hubbell Waln Van Dyke. Thomas Fallon Waln Van Dyke ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p076.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Salvage - August 6. 1850. Wages - In personam Augt 19. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850. Work & Materials Augt 28. 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Appeal by Libellant Conc Taxation of Costs - Collision Sept 13th 1850. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p077.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort June 6. 1850 Salvage June 3d 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Supplies June 20. 1850. Collision June 21. 1850 Collision June 21. 1850. Collision July 15. 1850 Wages to In PerSonam" July 26. 1850 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p078.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort Wharfage June 6 1850 Wharfage June 8 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3d 1850 Collision Sept 13. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850 Fort Jany 1. 1851. Contract Jany 4 .1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p079.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Contract Jany 4. 1851 Wages Jany 11. 1851 Wages Jany 14. 1851 Materials Feby 12. 1851. Wages Febry 11. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p080.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort [-]Wharfage) June 6. 1850 Wharfage June 18. 1850 Collision Aug. 23. 1850 Collision Septem. 3. 1850 Collision Septem. 13. 1850 Contract Octo. 14. 1850 Collision Octo. 21. 1850 Tort Jan. 1. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p081.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Contract Jany 4. 1851. Wages Jany 11. 1851 Wages Jany 14. 1851. Wages March 5. 1851 Wages March 18. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p082.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort (Wharfage) June 6 1850 Wharfage June 8. 1850 Collision Augt 23. 1850 Collision Sept 3. 1850. Collision Sept 3. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850 Collision Oct 21. 1850 Tort Jany 1. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p083.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Contract Jan. 4. 1851 Wages [-]an. 11. 1851. Wages [-]an. 14. 1851. Materials Feb. 12. 1851. Wages Feb. 11. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p084.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Contract [-]an. 4. 1851 Wages [-]an. 11. 1851 Wages [-]an. 14. 1851 Materials Feb. 12. 1851 Wages ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p085.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Tort. Wharfage) [--]ne 6. 1850 Wharfage June 8. 1850 Collision Aug. 23. 1850 Collision Septem. 3. 1850 Collision Septem 13. 1850 Contract Octo. 14. 1850 Collision Octo. 21. 1850 Tort Jan. 1. 1851 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p087.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wages Jany 11. 1851. Wages Jany 15 1851 Wages March 5. 1851. Petitions for ReHearing ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p089.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort Wharfage June 6 1850 Wharfage June 8. 1850. Collision Augt 23. 1850. Collision Sept 3. 1850. Collision Sept 13. 1850 Contract Oct 14. 1850. Fort Jany 1. 1851 Contract Jany 4. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p090.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wages January 11. 1851. Wages Jany 15. 1851. Wages March 5. 1851. Contract March 18. 1851. Wages [--]mmary" [-]arch 31. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p092.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Wages January 11. 1851 Wages January 15. 1851 Wages March 5. 1851. Contract March 18. 1851. Contract. March 24. 1851. Provisions [--]il 4. 1851. Report of Commsst [---]essing damages – [--] 8 April 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26a_F1_p093.jpg) [page cut in half, obscuring some text] Fort Wharfage) June 6 1850 Wharfage June 8. 1850 Collision April 23d 1850 Collision Sept 3d 1850 Collision Sept 13 1850. Contract Oct. 14. 1850. Fort January 1. 1851. Contract Jany 4. 1851. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I1_p001.jpg) @93 P cent. Two failures are noticed in the India and China trade, MAITLAND, EWING & Co. and NEWCOMEN, NOBLE & Co. Of the Australian branch of Messrs. DENNISTOUN & Co. the London Times remarks: about Apr 10, 1853 "The Australian advices received to-day mention that the statement of the affairs of Messrs. DENNIS- TOUN & Co., of Glasgow, Liverpool and London, had just arrived out, and had caused an apprehension that a large amount of bills would be returned upon the Melbourne house of DENNISTOUN BROTHERS & Co., AND that this circumstance would compromise several other firms in the colony. There was, however, no ground for the inference. It is known that out of the drafts of the Melbourne house, amounting to about £55,000, only about £2,000 or £3,000 went back, and by the private commercial accounts to-day it is under- stood that the affairs of that establishment will by the middle of the year be placed in a position that would be one of complete safety even if the whole were presented." In addition to the above, respecting Messrs. DENNISTOUN, it is stated on 'Change this afternoon, much to the gratification of their numerous friends, that Messrs. DENNISTOUN, WOOD & Co, of this City, contemplate an early resumption ol payments and of their general business, owing to the improved look of the affairs of the principaf house in England and Scotland, and the rapid and favorable liquidation going on on both sides the At- -lantic. We also hear it stated that the American losses of Mr. PEABODY's house, by the mercantile failures here during the crisis, are likely to fall within £50,000 sterling,—the principal item being on the depreciation of some shipments of Wool accepted for LAWRENCE, STONE & Co., of Boston. The Money market to-day presents no new ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I1_p002.jpg) PUBLIC LEDGER AND DAILY TRANSCRIPT. Philadelphia, Wednesday, May 12, 1858. APPLICATIONS FOR OFFICE —As usual, when a change in government occurs, hundreds of indivi- duals are looking for appointments under the city administration LATER FROM UTAH —St. Louis, May 11—The Independence Messenger, of Saturday mentions the arrival there of three men direct from Camp Scott. They report the troops in good health, but that provisions are scarce, with the exception of poor beef. Gen. Johnson would not be able to move forward till a fresh supply of animals are received They met an express messenger from New Mexico at Green River, with news. Capt. Marcy would not be able to reach Camp Scott be- fore the 1st of June, in consequence of the great quantity of snow on the mountains. A man had arrived at Camp Scott from Salt Lake, a few days before the party left, who re- ported that the Mormons were equipping com- panies to take the road and cut off the supplies, and harrass the troops. The party met Colonel Hoffman, with two companies of cavalry and one hundred and fifty wagons, with supplies, on the 16th of April, when about 120 miles east of Fort Laramie. About 100 were ready to leave Fort Laramie as soon as Col. Hoffman arrived. These trains would reach Gen. Johnson as early as May 1st. The ox trains started this spring were met just beyond the Big Blue River, but in conse quence of the weather, were m king slow pro- gress. Some of the trains had stopped for the roads to become bett r. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I2_p001.jpg) Feby 4, 1858 Dear Father, Is it asking too much of you to look over the enclosed, and if you think it unwise in me to send it– to throw it into the fire for me? I find I cannot write dispassionately on the sub- -ject, and perhaps I am incoherent in my earnestness. Your calm sense is just what I want to take the helm. I am thankful Tom is getting into so different a life. It may ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I2_p002.jpg) wash this horror from his memory. I cannot talk about it, and I am glad that this letter gives me the opportunity to write what my stupid nerves would break down in talking about. When I talked of getting some copying, or other work to do, I was more in earnest than you would think. I know that it is of great im- -portance to my health bodily and mental, that these troubles should be effaced as far as I can efface them from my thoughts. I am trying my best to occu- -py myself in various ways, but at this season of the year, I cannot well photograph, and I have no other mental occu- -pation at all absorbing any length of time. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I2_p003.jpg) I have balanced last year's accounts I have made as much work as I could out of my different occupations, but while dear Tom is away, I have nothing to do with the time I used to spend in his work. Now I feel that two or three hours regular work, making a pivot for my day to turn on, would be good for my health. Two or three hours work by spring-time ought to show some result. Let the result be earned in money, well, or let it be earned in a piece of finished ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I2_p004.jpg) work, well, too. But I don't like to pass month, after month, with no tangible result of my occupations. So I need some work – I think. Can I not obtain some, serious- -ly? I have written you far more than I meant to. Do not think it is just Aunt Julia- -talk. Bess. Thursday Evening. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I2_p005.jpg) Little Bessie consults her beloved father-in-law. Feby 4, 1858. Hon. J. K. Kane Philadelphia ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I3_p001.jpg) My dear wife: Accept this proof of my love – that I collect my thoughts enough in my distress to dedicate my work to you under whose invocation it has been achieved– My Peace May the Prince of Peace remove us from this world of wars together! Gr. Salt Lake City, May 2. 1858. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10a_I3_p002.jpg) Great Salt Lake City, Utah May 2, 1858 To Wife in Phila, Pa. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p001.jpg) June 1857 E. L. Kane ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p003.jpg) E. D. W. Diary From June 1857 to July 1858 Only for Tom's eye. [Photo appears on page with the following caption] "Old Grim" Aged 22. 12th May 1858. BORN 1836, May 12 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p004.jpg) Page Copied by E [---] PAGE s[-]y (TYPED COPY) Copy pages are here marked in red- Elk County June 29th, 1857. Again in the mountains but a much larger party this time. Two children, two nurses, a cook and ourselves, Bessie* and Charlotte* for permanent guests, and Willa Morton as — Bottlewasher? Today we unpacked my boxes from 'Roberts', and I nearly cried to see so many useless luxuries. Poor Tom's money spent so! Was I in my senses when I ordered them? July 1st. I don't think I shall do much with my — July 2. Well, I left off my just commenced entry in my diary last night, summoned to read aloud. I read aloud every evening for about an hour, after our walk. In the morning I mind the children and sew for the rest – Bess keeps the parlor in order, and Tot sets the table. Sometimes we make pudding or cake. Thus the day slips by. Today I had time to prepare my silver solutions for photographing. I found I had prepared too much for my bath, and I fear my pictures will be failures at first. Never mind! Try again! I wrote to Pat too today. I must write next to Maggie Jones. x Bess is TOM'S SISTER "TOT", FOR CHARLOTTE, IS HERS. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p005.jpg) 1857 2. *is this at Rasselas R. C. Church? 5th July. Our second Monda Sunday in the moun- -tains. I am minister and read the Episcopal Morning Service and one of Arnold's Sermons. Jane Nelly came in to the latter part, Jane Pickett to the first. Char- -lotte and Bess were singers. Willy has gone with John to the little Catholic chapel.* They were in great spirits and are to present the crucifix Tom * brought from Havana. Little Sash is much better today I think, thank God. I hope He will bless our stay here. Now I am going to take a good think about my duties here, and then I shall try to fulfil them. Yesterday I wrote to M. J. and to Papa. The priest from St Mary's paid a long visit of thanks this afternoon. He is from Ratisbon in Bavaria. — I wish I could cure myself of my want of thoroughness. I see that my tendency to be superficial grows upon me. I don't thoroughly wash my plates for my photographs, I don't beat up eggs enough. So with everything. I hope God will help me to persevere! And I have now a good opportunity to learn to rule a household. I must avail myself of it. I do hate to scold people. I wonder if quiet speaking does, with servants accustomed to scolding. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p006.jpg) 3. Tom says I must tell one of them to speak more respectfully. How I hate to do it! Another one is as obstinate as a mule, but I think I can manage her! I hope the girls are happy. We ought to gain a vast fund of health to repay the outlay Tom makes on the trip. 9th July. We have been very happy and busy. I am feeling remarkably well, and I think every one else is improving. My puddings succeed better than my photographs. I wrote quite a pamphlet about my failures just now. I have had three rides since we came here. Today we took a long walk, Bessie Tot and I, round the woods. It was to work off our misery for Papa writes that Tot must go to Liverpool with Walter. I wrote a protest to Papa. How hard it makes it seem to fulfil or rather to help Tom to fulfil his duty to his parents. [line of illegible deletions] [---] [---] [---] [---] BBB if I have, I hope God will please [---] to act [---] when fff [---]. And some some day perhaps my dear Tot may live with me! — Tomorrow is Harry's birthday. God bless her! *Sister Charlotte **2nd birthday ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p007.jpg) 12th July, Another Sunday finds us all well and cheer- -ful. Our two year old Harry is so sweet, and so merry. Little baby smiles to every one, and holds out his arms to come to those he loves. He is excessively obstinate, and furious when roused, but ordinarily merry, and very very amiable and good. Harry is not particularly obstinate, but is very quick tempered and gets over it very soon. God help me to understand them, and lead them in the right way! This week has passed away quickly. We girls take turns in pudding and cake making, I read aloud a great deal, and work in vain at my photography. I have written to Willie, Harry and Helen, Papa and Mrs Kane as well as a long letter to Mr Langenheim. Tom passed Thursday and Friday in the woods. On Satur- -day the hunter Cornelius* came to go over the results of their expedition with Tom. While they were there at work some of the Seneca Indians came by on a hunting excursion. Three of them stayed outside, being Temperance men, the fourth came in and drank ever so much brandy. They are very ugly animals with their flat noses, and scanty beard just like the hairs round some calves mouths or horses. They look a good deal like horses with their straight manes. *Dave Cornelius of Farmers Valley Kane's Scout. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p008.jpg) x WEIR MITCHELL OF PHILA. I am very much discouraged by my photographic failures.? How rejoiced I should feel could I get any image on my plate! 14th July. I tried another unsuccessful plate. Now I give up? till Mr. L. answers my last letter. Yesterday, one time with another I must have read aloud 5 hours rather too much of a good thing. I studied my Spanish for one hour. Little Elisha rolls about freely on the floor now and ?seems so strong! After tea as Bess Tot and I were lingering in the room? about a square yard of the ceiling fell down. I am very thankful that we escaped in safety. Tom had a dreadfully wearying day. Starting at 5 A.M.? he returned at ½ past 10 P.M. For over 5 hours he had been lost in the woods, and during the day must have gone 90 miles. I have a rebellion in the kitchen J. P. says she will? not do all the washing! 21st July. That kitchen storm blew over, but I have my hands full ?with others. The house is too small by one room, and the servants are indisposed to be accommodating. I expect Pat & Weirx, and they,? the women, refuse to go into the kitchen room, so that the girls have to come into my room. I fear th[--] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p009.jpg) won't like the closeness of the air. My dearie left me at 4 this morning. By seven tomorrow evening he hopes to be at Fern Rock. May God protect us all, up here and down there! I feel as if I had a great respon- -sibility upon me in Tom's absence, the children, the servants, the girls, Willie, — I am thankful that I may cast all my care upon Him who will care for me. May He take my dear husband too in His keeping, and write us in health again. I must write tomorrow about Charlotte. 23rd July. "About Charlotte" means. Lately she had a letter from Papa saying that Walter was going to London or Liverpool, and he hoped "dear old Tot" could make up her mind to go with him or to return to 16th St. She was dreadfully distressed but against my protest wrote to say she would go. Might she have Harry? I wrote a very indignant letter which I did not send, and added a short postscript to hers, saying that if he would let the girl's board in Phila. we would go with them till they were at home. Another letter came saying some complaints about C. M. which upset Tot who had been very unhappy ever since the first came. — (4) August 2nd. I gave up writing the above at the sixth interruption, and have been too busy to write since. I saved my few spare minutes for writing to Mrs Kane. I had to be nurse as well as to help in the kitchen for Eliza's hand was very sore. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p010.jpg) In the meanwhile Tot's affairs have cleared up. Papa gives her leave to board in Philadelphia, and says that when Harry comes home from a visit she is making he will let her choose whether she would like to go to Philadelphia if she chooses. Weir and Pat go home today looking much better for their visit which I hope they have enjoyed. The girls will miss them very much. I look forward to Tom's return this week. I am very thankful that I have been so helped through the very difficult housekeeping since the boys came. I feel much more confidence in myself now should I ever have a wee home of my own. Tom has decided to remain with the Kanes and they are going to add to the house, so I think my present duty is to forget that and to try to aid Mother in her household. I tried some photographs yesterday, with tolerable success. Hooray! August 10. Was not this annoying? After taking those photographs I failed again and again unaccountably. But I resolved I would not give up — and again I have a pretty good picture. Harry said her first prayer on Saturday. I had thought a good deal about it. The ordinary child's first prayer "Now I lay me" is not a good one. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p011.jpg) So first I made her say "Goodnight" mentioning the names of every one she loved. Then I told her that Dear Friend made the pretty flowers, water trickling etc, and made her say "Thank you dear Friend." Tom has purchased some land from Alonzo Wilcox September 13. Sunday. Tom urges me to recommence a steady diary such as I used to keep — one mentioning our moral, not photographic failures, for the sake of a Sunday summing up. I made a resolution, in the hope of a very busy active winter, to pay more attention to my dress, spending more, instead of less. Financial revulsions in New York have turned Tom's purchase into a bur- -den, instead of a bargain. Nevertheless, instead of greater economy, I shall still spend. Nice Boots, stockings etc. Meanwhile, three times a day brush my teeth, once with charcoal till they are in good order, take more care of my hair and clothes. Watch up the children more closely, etc. seeing they have clean frocks. These small matters attended to, but first, more of them. Rise at six so as to write my diary and learn a verse in the Bible every morning before breakfast. Let me pray earnestly every day to keep up a cheerful countenance, remembering when I wd grumble, that I shall keep my darling with me, and that I can attend more closely to my [written in red along lefthand side] 5 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p012.jpg) home affairs, and let the winter pass in forming neat orderly habits, and keeping my eyes open. I must try to be kinder to Willie, and to interact and amuse him. — Poor Tom has had two or three of his old stitches, and shortness of breathing. 14th Monday. Yesterday was a very happy quiet day. As usual we had service in the morning, I officiating. Then came dinner, and our usual nap, then I wrote diary and read ny Bible till our early tea. After I read a sermon to the "parlor folks," and a chapter to Eliza, heard Willie his very badly learnt verses and explained a parable to him. This morning I rose at six, and so far have kept my rules. I prepared some paper for printing. 15th Tuesday. The paper I prepared was all spoilt from the addition of water I was forced to make, I do not know whether it was the weakness of the solution or the hardness of the water. After our tea I read Aurora Leigh aloud, Kept my rules today. Had also a very pleasant walk with Tom and wrote to Mrs. Kane. After tea we intended to take a walk but the hunter Cornelius coming in, detained Tom, so Tot and I Just took a little stroll, and then returning I wrote to Aunt Mary Ferguson and to Walter whose little daughter is about ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p013.jpg) x good idea on geography teaching. "from within outward." nearby to far away. four weeks old. When Cornelius left, I read Aurora Leigh till bed-time. 16th Wednesday. Kept my rules. This morning Tom and I took a lovely walk down the mountain valley of the Clarion. We built a fire and sat to talk while I sewed. We determined on Tom's theory for the winter. First, he is to cut down charities, giving our time instead to the H.R.* Then, he is to devote all his office time to office duties. Now comes my share. I will read to him Blair's Rhetoric, Alison on Taste, Burke on the Sublime — as work books — the Spectator, C Lamb, Swift and "Hary Esmond" for pleasure books: of course all this with the object in view of attaining "the well of English undefiled." Then Tom writes me English exer- -cises on themes furnished by the history of the neighborhood – hermits of the Wissahickon for instance. We glance forward and hope some day to bind them up with photographic illustrations, for our children's benefit. I want to endeavour to teach them history and geography from within out. Starting from Fern Rock instead of The world is round, & like an orange flattened at the poles." * * House of Refuge? ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p014.jpg) MR. 6 x check Faries – Sunbury & Erie R.R. ? — This evening I am reading Robert Brownings "Men and Women" aloud, as we wait for an over-due guest Mr Faries. Thursday 17th A pouring rain almost all day. Mr Faries never came. I was busy about ordinary duties all day, helping Tom, minding babies, sewing, and reading in the evening, "Margaret" aloud. the oddest, queerest; minute book. Charlotte remarked that a Mr Burlingame might have written it, a criticism that struck me as not inapt. Wrote to Mother Friday. Very much the same sort of day as yes- -terday. No Mr Faries. Tom went in the after- -noon to his opening on the mountain side. My keys were lying in my trunk which closed with a spring and left us desolate. Fortunately Mr Totten was able to open it for us, Saturday 19. Ditto to yesterday as yesterday was to the day before. A letter came from Mr Faries saying that he was detained by business, got up business, I must think, to evade seeing Tom's route. I made up two little caps for the children to wear going home. Sunday 20 I read our usual service, it was however so dull and rainy a day that we could take no walk and as we none of us felt well, we passed a very quiet uninteresting morning. I read Tom my ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p015.jpg) diary of the week: he spoke of Elisha having clean frocks oftener. I promised to watch up Tom's tendency to "put things through," and we are mutually to oversee the other's dressing. Also we are thankful for the lessons of the last fortnight, and pray that we may profit by them keeping them ever in mind, day by day. First, and chiefly, to teach us to live as we should. Next to show me what is false kindness to Tom. Then to teach us charity. Then to show us what a mistake I might have made in falling entirely into out door work. and overlooking home duties. I must be careful not to become absorbed in Photo- -graphy, to the detriment of nearer things. I must keep Tom's clothes mended, and in neat order, our rooms neat and clean, and my own clothes. The children's clothes must be neatly folded, and kept in their own bureau, and Jane Nelly must keep their nursery neat. I must see them provided with plenty of aprons, etc. I must see that the manual part of this is done, and make a regular list for the work of both Jane's, to hang in the nursery. By the bye, not apropos, my hair is growing so thin ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p016.jpg) that I must have it clipped once a month. And I must make myself a number of ruches for evening collars? — Tom wants me to remind him not to ruffle up his hair so! I have written a list for the work of the two Janes which I must see enforced on my return Until the new rooms are finished J.N. must wash herself downstairs. Therefore J.P. rises at ½ past 5. and at six wakes J.N. to go down and wash herself. J.P. can trim the nursery lamp while she is absent. At ½ past 6 J. N. must be ready to dress the children if awake, or if not to put her nursery in order. Meanwhile J.P. sweeps the sitting room, lights the fire, bringing up fuel first, and then helps J N with the babies, setting the little boy's milk to boil etc. When I go downstairs she must sweep my room and leave the bed to air till my breakfast is over. After hers, she finishes my room, and she is then ready either to sew, or walk with the children. On days when I have washing to do, she can do the nursery. Otherwise J.N. will ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p017.jpg) let the bed air while we are at breakfast. Little Harry must breakfast either in my sitting room or in the dining room. After J. N. has tidied her nursery, she will wash the wet things of the night. J. N. must do all the washing, because J. P. is sewing. On Fridays Mrs K. will overlook all the closets to see if they are in order. and both Janes must have thought of whatever is wanted in town, of which Mrs K. will make a list. Saturday. The clean clothes must be counted by J. P. before putting away, and the soiled arranged for Mrs K. to count. The torn things must be darned. Monday. Darned two pair of trousers for Tom made a baby's cap for Elish. to travel home in, and took care of the children from breakfast till bed time as both Janes were washing. Tuesday 22nd. Wrote to Aunt Eliza, and Mrs. K. wrote diary, and washed breakfast things Friday 25. Well! One would have thought me sure of finishing this week diarising regularly. But no! I have been working really very hard. I am ma- -king baby two night jackets for travelling, and for Tom, who has to drive the horse down, stopping at vile taverns ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p018.jpg) 8 a bug-proof night gown consisting of legs sewed up at the bottom, and terminating in a sack-body, drawn in round the neck by strings, a cape fastened on to turn over his pillow, and wide sleeves, finished with a band wide enough to pass his hand through. A button set on this, buttoning through two button holes some distance apart makes the wrist tight. So I hope he will have quiet nights. I have packed two chests full, and have several trunks to pack yet. I wrote to Maggie Jones, and to Mrs K. yesterday. On Sunday night I wrote to Johnny Kane, and to Papa. I wish now that we were safe home. Tom was away from ½ past 4 A.M. to 11 P.M. yesterday, at his Summit, coming home worn out. Saturday 26. One of those delicious days when the breeze makes you feel that the the bees are busy among the buckwheat, and the grasshoppers as cherry as you feel yourself. My packing goes on busily. Tom is dictating a letter to me while Tot minds my babies I was foolish enough to read over my work list to the two Janes, on Sunday in order to let them suggest ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p019.jpg) Sept. July 1857 one or two trivial changes if they chose. Miss N. first told me that on the Sabbath it was onlucky, and she would not say a word on such subjects. The indig- -nation l felt then, I quenched with my favorite 14th Romans, but last night she informed me that she did not consider herself bound to obey Mrs. K's rules i.e. that she would not wash and dress downstairs. I told her she must obey the rules as long as she stayed in the house. Then she said there were several other objections — but the baby beginning to cry. I told her she might speak some other time Sunday 27. Yesterday at 4. Tom took me with great reluctance on my part to those wonderful Rocks. I had to ride a strange horse, one of Lucius' and felt so cowardly that all the way to Caspar Roper's Tom held my rein. When we got in the woods however I had to go by myself and soon was quite at ease. Dear Tom had blazed a path there for us, and we were able to ride as far as the rocky ground. Here we dismounted and tied the horses. Then we scrambled along over rocks so grown over by the richest carpeting of moss with a fringe of delicate ferns, that I made no objection to Tom's regulation that I must keep my eyes on the ground. There was enough beauty there to delight them for hours. At last Tom came to me, and throwing his arm round me bade me look up. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p020.jpg) Roper's Rocks – Roberts Lot, Elk Co. 9 There backed the green darkness of the forest, rose a vast ancient fortress of grey rock. The drawbridge had fallen, and a deep chasm of entrance yawned before us. Rift on rift the stony massive pile ascended, every stern -browed cornice fringed with fern growth and the dainty tracery a of young birches hung out here and there (against the sky), like waving banners. Higher yet, and higher, far above in the evening sky, rooteding with a firm grasp in the battlements, rose three or four standard-bearer pines. How grand it was, how weak my poor effort to describe its grandeur. We stole round its base to where the fortress had fallen more in ruin, and we could climb the fallen masses. Up we toiled painfully for it was no easy work at any time, and I had on a troublesome riding skirt. At last we were on the top looking away far far down till I grew dizzy. We clambered down with some difficulty, and it grew quite dark by the time we reached the horses. Frank's wonderful sagacity guided us out of the woods just as the moon rose, and we got home in safety. But Tom was fairly knocked up ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p021.jpg) with the anxiety he had felt lest I should pass the night in the woods. Besides he was sick before, poor darling. Sunday, Monday. — Two quiet dull days, people constantly boring us with farewell visits. Tuesday 29th. Up early, and preparing for departure when Tot flew in with the babies, saying that the house was on fire. Tom was on the top of the roof in a minute tearing off slats, and the fire was soon subdued. In a few hours we were away, Tom on the road to Ridgway, and the rest on the way to Barrett's, where we spent the night. So adieu to Elk County, and our happy summers there, shall we ever come back? "Howsoever these things be, a long farewell to Locksley Hale, Now for me the trees may wither, now for me the roof tree fall, Comes a vapour from the moorland black'ning over holt and hale. Let it fall in hail or fire, or rain or snow For a stormy wind arises, roaring seaward, and I go." Wednesday 30th Started through the rain to Olean, a most disagreeable cold, wet, journey. I was anxious about Tom and had a violent sick-headache. On arriving I was agreeably surprised by a letter from the Judge saying to Tom, that he must return with us, leaving or selling his horse, as his presence might be very necessary in Philada, as all the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p022.jpg) banks had suspended payment! 10 I posted Judge Wilcox back for Tom, and wrote to him that we would wait for him at Olean, sending Eliza and Willie ahead of us. Thursday 1st October. I am not sure whether I shall not start after all. Tom may be in a violent hurry, and just be hampered by having so many women and children. I am not sure that I shall not start after all. Tuesday October 6th Fern Rock. After long uncertainty I, last Thursday, sent for my bill, Early on Friday we rode through a pouring rain to the depot. The train was an hour and a half behind time, and, knowing how very ill-managed the road was my state of mind almost amounted to anguish. I dreaded the responsibility involved in carrying off the children, I was very uncer- -tain whether I could, or could not, act as an effecient escort, and at the same time I feared that Tom might be sick, or might be vexed with me for starting when I had appointed to meet him. I paced up and down the platform in the grisly dim atmosphere, chilled and wretched, and oh so anxious to know what Tom would ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p023.jpg) have me do. Had I been independent, I should not have hesitated about the steps to take, but it puzzled me to know what he would wish. I decided to proceed, because I knew that Tom must express it through, which the babies couldn't. So that, if I preceded him to Elmira, we might join him, refreshed by a night's rest, and go part of the way at least in company. This would enable me to give him the gold which I had. (I stopped at Olean for him partly for that reason — lest his cheque might be worthless) —We went on to Elmira on Friday, and on Friday Morning, no answer to my telegraph to Tom, and with a very heavy heart I started with the children meaning to go as far as Danville. We were detained in a siding an hour and a half, to the great indigna- -tion of the passengers. At length a train dashed up, and lo and behold, Tom was on it chatting with some one on the platform. He did not know I was there and it was a very joyful meeting. He was rather vexed with me, I think, though he did not say so, for leaving him in the lurch at Kean. He persuaded me to go on, and we travelled till quite late in the evening, but missing the connection at Port Clinton, we took an up train to Mt Carbon where we spent the night. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p024.jpg) Sunday Oct. 3 Reached Fern Rock about ½ past 2 after depositing poor dear Tot at Mrs. Hemsley's. So she commences boarding-house life. We drove up Green Lane, and then ordered the carriage to go on slowly while we walked quickly up to the house. Such delight as they all showed! Monday – Busy unpacking. 11 Tuesday. Went to see Tot who is busy and happy. Commenced writing at Tom's dictation. N.13. So passed every evening of the week. Saturday. Papa writes that money matters must compel Tot to return to 16th St. I have kept the letter from her and written to urge his allowing her to remain, offering to pay the difference between her expenses in N.Y. and here. I said that as I did not wish her to discuss it with him, I should endeavour to keep her from going on to N.Y. on Tues- -day. When I told her that we could not go on, she said she would not be so coldhearted, & would go on alone. Sunday. I was in town yesterday, and but for Tot's affairs, enjoyed my trip. I called on Lang- -enheim about my pictures, but he asked to see my negatives. He said he did not ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p025.jpg) think the plates could have decomposed. I had previously shown the proofs to Mr. Guillon who seemed to think more with me. I had a nice long talk about Photography with him. I called on Weir's lady love, and was very agree- -ably disappointed in her. Today I read the Morning Service to the girls, and went to the Oak Lane School House Church with them in the afternoon. (Tot came to spend Sun- -day here) They were both very angry with us about Tot's visit to N.Y. Monday. 12th I think that if Tot persists in going I had better accompany her, as it may keep Papa from discussing the subject with her. Monday 26th. I stayed (with Tot) from Tuesday till Friday in New York and was glad I went. Charlotte and Harry both returned with me, the latter for 3 months. Since then I have been both too busy and too sick to write. Tom and I have been fretting about the way to live. I went twice to House of Refuge. And I took little Harry to stay through part of the day with me at Charlotte's. Harry, the aunt, and Harry the niece seemed equally pleased with each other. Today Charlotte and Harry were to spend here but the weather is too unfavorable. I have succeeded in putting all Tom’s papers in ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p026.jpg) order, a hard morning's work. Tomorrow if it is fair weather, I am to take a lesson from Mr Langenheim. 12 Tuesday 27th Went to town, and missing Tom as I left the station, found that he was running up Front Street supposing me gone ahead. I flew after him, and caught up to him in a perfectly breathless state. Took my lesson from Langenheim who informs me, to my infinite satisfaction, that the plates were spoiled, so I was not to blame for my failures. This is most encouraging! Bade my dear Tom goodbye. He goes to fetch our horse from Tyrone City. I mean to try to do as he would wish me to do while he is away. Called on the girls, and then went to the cars. Found Mother much better, and the dear little ones glad to see their mini-man[--]y Read aloud, and sewed in the intervals caused by Mother's kitchen visits. So passed the evening. Wednesday 28th My evening meditations were of baby clothes, I dreamed of them therefore. Little Elisha keeps me awake but I never can be angry with him when he opens those ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p027.jpg) lovely eyes, and twines his soft arms round my hand. I fell to work at my machine, and "sewed considerable" making for one thing a narrow slip of a bolster to fill up the interval between the crib and the bed, and keep little Elish. safe. I walked over with Harry to Kensselaer, but Mrs Smith was out. After tea I read aloud, besides writing to Mrs Wil- -cose Thursday 29. Wrote to Papa, and prepared for a visit from Charlotte and Harry. I am glad to say they really enjoyed it, playing with my sweet wee bairns, walking through the autumn golden woodlands, watching the sewing machine at work, etc. Sally Cadwalader, and Fanny Butler dined with us, and the girls went home well pleased. I made a pinafore for Harry very neatly in the machine and in the intervals of reading aloud at night tacked down two more ready for sewing on Thursday. I don't feel lonely, at least not very, this time of Tom's absence, for I feel as if he were thinking of me all the time. I know he loves me. And it is so happy-making, I feel as if I must tell every one. Like an absurd goose! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p028.jpg) Oct 30 1857 Friday 30. Roamed about the place in search of John whom I wished to prepare some post for the hyacinths Tom brought out. Planted today, when will they flower? 13 My human flowers are going out to enjoy the sun and fresh air. I hear them chatter -ing upstairs. Elisha will soon talk. He is a great big healthy fellow, but I don't like the way my little sprite Harry's eye keeps sore. It does not heal up as if she were in vigorous health. Little darling, little darling, how I love her! She is much easier to control than Elisha will be, who is obsti- -nacy itself. Tuesday Nov 3. I was in town both Saturday and Monday, and saw the girls who are growing more cheerful. Tom returned on Saturday night bringing Frank, the horse, who was greatly admired. On Sunday Bess & I went to the House of Refuge and as the teacher of the Bible Class was sick we taught. I had seventeen girls from sixteen to nineteen years old. I should think. I wish I could be useful there! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p029.jpg) Nov. 1857 Tuesday Nov. 10. Tom went away to Washington yes- terday, and before he went he took me to call on those poor McKibben's who are in great trouble I also called on Mrs. Guillon, and went to the dentist. In the evening wrote to Tom a little note. Wednesday Nov. 11. The girls spent with us. Little Elisha had his gums lanced. He is suffering a good deal and quite unwell. Jane Pickett had to be reproved and gave me notice somewhat pertly. Wrote to Tom and to Nell. Thursday 12th. Went to town, saw Miss Preston, Langen- -heim and Gardette with whom I have now finished. I feel as if I could settle down to nothing, expecting hourly as I do, news of P's * failure. God strengthen his mind! Heard from my dearest Tom today. Little Elisha still unwell. *Check period Nov. 1857 in William Wood's autobiography ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p030.jpg) 1857 T.L.K. leaves for Washington Christmas night 1857 26th December. I cannot write about all the horrors we have passed through since we I wrote last. God has mercifully brought out of them one great blessing al- -ready, in uniting Tom and me in the bonds of a common faith. Tom thinks he may be of service to Him by bringing about a peace between Utah & the U.S. and went on to Washington last night to see the President about it. May God give 14 him wisdom to do right, and may His peace be with him. And oh, may He guide Papa. – I am convinced that I ought to spend much time with my babies. I see that the flowers really expand when I am there, wee darlings. Their love and joy at having me with them are most evident. Elisha ?puts his ams so closely round my neck, and signs to know what? various things mean. It was time to answer the questions of the little inquiring mind, And Harry! What a warm heart she has! The little creature fairly loves the unseen "Dear Friend" whom? she is taught to thank for all her pleasures. 28th December, Sunday Night. I feel sure that God will guide and support dear Papa and provide for him in a way my short sighted humanity sees not. I trust Him. And, Father, I feel willing now, should it prove Thy will, to yield my dear hus- -band to Thy hands if Thou needest him to bring peace to those lost sheep of Israel. Lord, if I give Him to Thee cheerfully wilt Thou deign to accept it as my Thank ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p031.jpg) * offering for Thy infinite goodness in making him a Christian. Lord, Thou knowest that it is a sacri -fice for us to part when we are in trouble, and Thou wilt in mercy strengthen and help us. Lord, wilt Thou show us what Tom ought to do about his business, his daily duties? We do not quite see how to reconcile his neglecting them with his performing this. Lord, please put into the President's mouth right words. May they make the right course for Tom to pur- -sue plain. Give us strength to follow it when we see it, and oh, let the peace which Thou only canst give shine in our hearts. Help me to be a faithful wife to him, a faithful mother to our children, and to do my duties at home rightly, whether my dear com- -panion is with me, or away. For Christ's sake, amen! Tuesday 30th Dec. Tom returned last night. He gives up his clerk- -ship day after tomorrow and on the 5th of January sails, God's will be done! [text written in between main text] Then Paul answered, "What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased, saying, The will of the Lord be done." [main text continued] I am going to give him my little Bible, and also have been copying some of our favorite pieces of poetry But it makes me sorrowful so I shall leave it for the present. Tot thinks I ought to visit friends in Philad. once a week at least, and I agree with her that I have (per- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p032.jpg) Tom Sails Jan 5, 1858 -mitted myself to become too much absorbed in near duties, joys and sorrows, and have not sufficiently extended my sympathies. Can I afford it, however? I must give up Jane Pickett. I hope Mother can take her. I would prefer keeping her to Jane Nelly for she is pretty dirty and slovenly. 15 6th January. <1858!> My dearest husband sailed yesterday, I hope, I am sure, I did my duty to him in trying to help him and to be cheerful. Now—what can I do for him? When I think, there are so many things — I feel quite cheery to think God has mercifully given me so many things to occupy me. Poor Charlotte! She went back to 16th St on Monday, to be a sort of hostage in the ene- -my's camp, and with scarcely anything to do. Her lot is indeed harder than mine, unloved, and childless. Thank God for my darlings! Elisha almost upset my attempts at composure today by struggling forward to go to his father's room. His father! Oh my darling I can't write your name tearless. God help us to bear these weary months. 7th January Every one went to town today but me, so I had a taste of what I might have, if I were not at Fern Rock. However, I busied myself actively all day with the children, and various small matters and took a walk. I had a long sweet letter from dear Papa, I trust in God that he is perfectly well again. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p033.jpg) Sunday Jan. 10, 1858 I also had a note from Tot who says Mrs. W is treating her kindly. Sunday January 10 My first Sunday without my dear Tom is a very fit time to record a plan for my daily employment. In order to frame such a plan I must first think over my duties. While I am alone my first duty is to watch over his children; therefore the more time intelligently given to them the better. Next, my promises to him to try to be cheerful and to grow strong to be a help and comfort to him, when he comes back. Therefore in trying to cultivate my mind, let me keep from over doing anything, and thereby injuring either my bodily or spiritual (by this I mean tone of mind, not the mind of book-learning) health. Third, my duty to his parents, and family. Tot bade me remember that though I would find them considering me the one most to be cheered, yet that they were losing him too, and that he was beloved son and brother to them. I was the youngest too, and must try to cheer them. So no time taken from my own occupations, if it conduces to their happiness is to be grudged, if it does not injure my babies by taking time from them. Fourth. As a help to cheerfulness, attend to my ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p034.jpg) duties of society. And, Fifth, Remember to be as much with Bess as possible. So now, Rise in good time for breakfast. After breakfast, mind the babies till the rooms are done up, trim the lamp, read my Bible. (16) I should get this done by ten A. M. Now offer to read half an hour to Bess, sending the children, out if it is fine. Take a walk with Bess, or drive with Mother some part of the day. Endeavor to write my diary every day, and keep my accounts in good order. I have some copying yet to do, which must be finished so that must come in study hours. Find what part of the day is freest, to take two hours of studying in. Write twice a week to Tot, and the same to Papa. Twice a month only to my darling. Keep my evenings free for the family. Every fine Friday spend in visiting in town, and once a week take tea either at the Ingersoll's or the Fox's. (Fox's) Do not spend more time photographing than is right. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p035.jpg) Last week I tried to read to Bess, but not very success- -fully as she was in town often. I was very busy getting Tom's papers and clothes arranged, as I still am, but I hope soon to be through. Bess and I are reading. Stop I'll keep a list of the books we read, on the opposite page. Tom wants me to interest myself in the garden, which I'll do for his sake. Tot wants me to go regularly to church, which I'll do for her sake. And I hope God will help me to do right. And help dear Tom and me to really trust Thy promises! Poor Bess, and Tot, and Papa, God bless them all. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p036.jpg) (17) Books read by E. D. K while Tom is away Beginning January 6th 1858 with E. J. Farnham's California (Finished Jan 13) Aloud 1st No. Virginians (VIRGINIANS) " Arnold's Poems " T. J. Farnham's California & Oregon (Jan 12) To myself Hyde's Mormonism Begun (12th Jan). (HYDE'S MORMONISM) " Ferris' Utah " " 2nd No. Virginians To Bess Rose of Ashurst " Mother Scale of Diet Merchant Service 18th Jan. To myself Richter on Education " Stanley's Sinai & Palestine " Meig's Philadelphia Practice " The Daisy Chain " February Finished Richter 8th Began Bridge's Algebra Bremer's President's Daughters Lizzie read aloud Countess of Rudolstadt Austrian Prisons in Italy. F. Orsini Aloud. 3rd No Virginians To Bess Westminster Review. March Macaulay's History of England 1st vol. Aloud (Did not finish it) [Note: KENT has these] 4th No Virginians " ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p037.jpg) Coale's Photography - carefully. Began Meig's Diseases of Children April Sir John Maundeville's Travels. Aloud. Life of Bishop White. North British Review (Articles Bossuet, and Arnold) Robertson's Sermons? Evangeli[-] de San Mateo Maiden & Married Life of Mary Powell, Mrs. Milton Aloud. ?5th Virginians " May Memoirs of Jaqueline Pascal. Trench's Hulsean Lectures Kingsley's Saints Tragedy Aloud Christ in Hades — W. W. Lord 6th Virginians Aloud Kingsley's Andromeda ” Philip II. 1st Vol June June Philip II 2nd vol. Cloister Life of Charles the Fifth 7th Virginians ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p038.jpg) Marcia says this is copied. Monday Jan. 11. Finished copying the Trust Deed. Went to little Burns' funeral. Read aloud to Bess, and minded babies. Washed glass photograph plates. Tuesday, Jan. 12. Worried over Tom's accounts which I can- -not comprehend, wrote to A. J. Wilcox, Walter & Papa, called on Miss Fox, and coated four dry plates to use if I can find time on Thursday. This evening we propose spending at Mrs Ingersoll's and going to town tomorrow. Wednesday, Jan. 13. I quite enjoyed last evening though I should have infinitely preferred staying at home. Today I went to town and called on the Dunlaps and Pattersons. Had a long talk with Pat about Tom's accounts. Read aloud (and knitted) in the evening to Mother and Bess. Thursday, January 14. Finished Mrs Farnham's book to Bess, knitted, photographed, received a call from Mr. Inger- -soll, spent the afternoon at Letitia Harrison's and read a little of the second number of the Virginians aloud to poor Bess. Knitted, and I am sorry to say read a little of a stupid novel. I wish I could make Bess pay attention while I read. Friday, Minded babies, beat up eggs, wrote a long letter to Papa, wrote diary, Strange and it is that, I am so cheerful, but I scarcely feel as if my darling was absent. I have so much to do, and feel so loved by him - it seems as if he were with me. I am sure his heart is. My darling! How easy duty is when it his ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p039.jpg) clear before one, compared to the horrible difficulties of conflicting duties. God has mercifully made my path so clear for the present, that I hope I shall be enabled to gather strength for dark days. Saturday January 16. Yesterday, my diary written I walked all the way to Crescentville with Bess to see some poor half starved people. Coming home, dressed for dinner, read "the Virginians" aloud. Mr Wharton and Pat dined and spent the evening here; the former in wild spirits. He read aloud all my favorite pieces of Tennyson, in his horrid sing-song way. Today, I have written to Charlotte, & taken charge of my wee babies so far in the day. — o spirits are so depressed that it is very hard to be cheerful with the additional weight on me. I think the case hopeless, and fear that it will not be rightly taken. — said to me that I was perhaps mis- -taken in trying to struggle into cheerfulness, it was better to try to fully realise the grief - speaking of Tom's absence to me, but speaking to -self of - own grief — and take it as from God. I said, I knew that I must inevitably realise it constantly, without any trying, and it struck me that God expected us to do our duty, and conquer grief. Our duty was to be unselfish, and think of others, and to forget ourselves. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p040.jpg) If we did ourselves or others good by realising it, it might be another matter. But realising it, as far as I could see, meant depressing every one by a sad face, and being thoroughly self-absorbed. Perhaps I am hard-hearted, but it is not just now very hard to be cheerful. Knowing that Tom felt it his duty to go, trusting that it may restore him to me in sound health, feeling that by yielding cheerfully I could say to dear Christ that I was glad to show Him a little bit of thankfulness for his great goodness in sending His Holy Spirit into my darling's heart, and having so much cause of thankfulness in Papa's health — it seems as if I ought to go cheerfully on my way. I have very plain, and very pleasant duties, no painful ones just now, no cause, I believe, to reproach myself on dear Tom's account. I tried to help him as far as I could, before he went, and to keep up his heart, and kept a cheerful look on my face as he looked the last look as his vessel bore him off. I have confidence in God, that He will take care of him, and I know, oh how joyful a knowledge, that be the days many or few we spend here on earth, we will be together in Heaven! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p041.jpg) Here comes one of my puzzles, and, with no Tom to ravel it out, I shall write it down. Maybe it will ravel itself out, if I force myself to express it clearly. I often say, that were it not for the grief it would cause Tom, and the good I may be able to do the children, I would just as lieve die as live. While God has work for me I'm very willing to stay, but if He takes me I'm very willing to go. Besides I feel as if, but that's another— Tom and Tot both say in different ways that I'm wrong. Tom speaks of my being the instrument of some great work — of lecturing to women, etc, I am sure he over rates my mental powers, as well as my physical, and therefore it is not, only lazi- -ness, which prompts my extreme disinclination to contemplate such a mission. Tot says that I think too much of Heaven's peace, I ought not to think about that much. Let God take me there if He pleases. My affair is, to do the work He sends me here, and to enjoy the pleasures He gives on earth. Well. I agree with her, but in the last part. But I don't think her theory ought to conflict with mine. Tom does not like my saying "To thee, oh dear, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p042.jpg) –1858– dear country." Now I don’t see the harm of it. I think it helps one to keep above troubling oneself about trifling cares, and I am sure it ought not to keep one from enjoying God's gifts here, or doing his work. Well. I am not sure whether I entirely mean all I say. I think I do. but I remember that though I can think of Tot, or Willie, or Papa, or Bessie K's death as a blessed relief from their troubles, and feel as if, God taking them, we ought not to repine, yet, I could not for an instant do aught but shudder at the idea of Tom’s going. I remember that I could not endure the thought when he was so ill. It was perfect agony. I know if I were to be at any of their sick beds, I should feel so, but I mean if I were to hear of their deaths. I cannot believe I am hard hearted, for I know how intensely I love them, yet why cannot I accept my theory even with regard to Tom also? — Poor dear Tom, I wonder if he would despise me if he knew how little vocation I feel for the ideal life he plans for me. To have health, daily work cut out by God, mental occupation and to have him my dear companion, in health, labouring at, his daily round, living in the midst of our family — such is 20 my wish. I would like to be a good wife, mother, daughter ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p043.jpg) sister, friend, and mistress – a good housekeeper – to have mental occupation enough to make me the two first, and medical knowledge sufficient to aid me in all– money enough to keep us from want or thought of tomorrow – a good many things I do want after all. Now I have written too long so I will clean my sewing machine for variety. Sunday January 17th My theory is good for nothing. Harry was threatened with croup last night, and I am perfectly knocked up and miserable. God preserve her, my little darling. Yesterday I worked with the machine, and studied a little medicine. In the evening I read aloud to Mrs. Kane. Today I have been with Harry save just when I was writing a note to Tom. Oh Harry my darling! Sunday Evening Iam almost afraid to go to bed, lest Harry should be suddenly taken sick. Poor Jane Pickett has been sick in bed for two days. I am sinfully depressed by sweet Harry's sickness. What would become of Tom if anything happens to her, while he is away. Tom and I must be very open hearted to each other. It is a great pain to me to find that he has so long been grieving over my disinclination to talk about the West, and that it seriously discomposed his plans. It would have saved him all his bother poor darling, if he had told me of it at once, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p044.jpg) because one can make one's mind up as well sum as syne. I have been sleeping too long in fancied security that Tom would point out my faults to me, and I daresay while I slumbered the enemy has sowed a flourishing crop of them. Dear Tom loves me so, he will pet and spoil me, and perhaps there are other things I do that worry him constantly. I wish I knew! I might take the opportunity of his absence to correct them. —Bess said to me the other day, she would like me to have four children, and I laughingly said "Well, I would like to have three” — and then I remembered—. I had allowed myself to forget it. I must keep it in mind till it becomes a fixed fact. How strange that it should grieve me, as an actual felt loss, to think that the dream children must never come. I suppose it is because they would be Tom's Tuesday January 19. I yesterday minded the babies a great deal as J.P. was sick, and read aloud to Mother, and walked to Branchtown with Bess. Today drove out with Mother wrote to Papa, and I am now dressed to entertain the Metherills who are to dine here Dear Harry is much better. 21 January 21. I spent a very pleasant day yesterday at Mary Field's and returned to find Elisha sick with croup. So I was up and down all night. God help & support me. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p045.jpg) 1858 Yesterday I sent Pat the account I drew up for Tom as Executor for E's Estate. I hope it is rightly done Today I have been adding up the account of my expenses in dress for the years. $191.20. a saving of $160 on my clothes compared with B. K's and poor Tot's. Harry has cost not quite $30. Elisha not quite $12. At this rate our darlings don't cost much. I made Harry two pretty plaid frocks out of a school dress of Nelly's which was a saving Saturday 23rd January. Both children are much better, thank God. I don't feel particularly well myself, I think I'm going to have one of my colds. Yesterday I spent nearly all the morning in overlooking Bessie's accounts. Then we went to Grubtown to see those poor factory people, and then came home where I did all the seams of a dress for one of the Grubtown children at my wheel. Thin Pat & H. Wharton came to dinner, and spent the evening. Today Bessie has gone to stay in town for a fortnight so the house will be pretty lonely. However I hope I shall be able to study more now. Sunday January 24. Dear little Elisha's croup seems to have passed over, leaving behind it only the severe cold from which we are all suffering. May God preserve these little darlings. I dread the summer, but, He doeth all things well! How winning they seem to me! Elish's sickness seems ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p046.jpg) 1858 to have brought him forward in his mental growth. He has the dearest little ways of expressing his wishes Today he touched my hand and then pushed it towards the piece of bread he wanted. He is very loving. If you lay your head down and close your eyes, he creeps up, lays his cheek caressingly on yours cooing like — like a dear baby as he is. He must sleep holding Jane's hand under his cheek, and he kisses people of his own accord. Little Harry is passionately devoted to a few, and has such sweet shyness about showing her fondness. They both sing a great deal– with no tune, however. Harry says she must go in the big ship to meet Papa. Poor father of theirs! Are you wishing to be with us this Sunday morning, my own darling? Yesterday I sent Doctor Stokes to see one of the Grubtown women. I did not go out of doors, but sat at my wheel some time. I mean to keep it as nice looking as I have got it by dint of oiling everywhere, and rubbing it up. I made another frock, an apron, and a peignoir. I read an hour steadily on the bones of the pelvis. I cannot say I found it at all interesting, but it is 22 well to begin. Also I copied some more into my Photography book. And finished, all but one sleeve, a little crimson sacque I am knitting for Harry. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p047.jpg) So another week has gone by – oh so long it seems! I hope Tom is more courageous than I about our sepa- -ration. I would not mind his journey if I could peep at him once a day to warn him to take care of himself. I hope my Bible is a comfort to him. Tuesday 26th January. Today is my darling's 36th birthday. Yes- -terday our engagement had its sixth anniversary. God bless my darling! Notwithstanding my cold, I called yesterday on Mrs Plitt whose husband has just been turned out of office by Judge Grier. In the evening I copied a little of our Judge's to Judge Grier dissenting from the appoint -ment of a Mr Patton in Mr Plitt's place. I also wrote to Tot. I had a hope that Mr Plitt's dismissal would make him work anxiously to make the clerk's office a life one in the President's appointment. If Tom could then be re-appointed Clerk what a blessing, it seems, it would be. The Judge says however that Mr P. will not wish for any place under Grier. So I must not hope for that. — I may leave the future in His hands, He will provide. What a comfort that Our Friend knows better than we and will take care of our future if we try to do right in the present. "Only the present is thy part and fee, and happy thou, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p048.jpg) *Sunbury & ERie R.R. If, though shouldst not frown thy future brow Thou couldst well see What present things require of thee," I was sorry to find, on asking the Judge whether I could not make a rough sketch of the letter Tom wanted sent to councils as Director of the P. * & E. Board , that it was too late. The report is sent in. There goes the labour, of mind and body, of Tom's whole summer besides a considerable sum of money, and all hope of benefiting Williamsville If Tom could only have spared time to finish it. I hope it is not a wrong feeling of paltry am- -bition that makes me so very much disappointed by this. I know how much labour, what brain, and ingenuity this cost, and I was very proud of his three routes — and to have all this more than wasted — for it will pass down as "one of Tom's half-finished schemes," "one of the times when he has started with steam up on his hobby worked for too hard, and then abandoned it." I know that Tom has plenty of perseverance, and I know that Tom has plenty of perseverance, and I know how many things he has done — but who will remember these, if the reputation of this sorty of saying sticks to him. 23 I say to myself that I am not ambitious for [text perpendicular on left side of page] Quoting whom? ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p049.jpg) Tom, and in one sense, I am not. I am far prouder of being Tom's chosen one than if I had been E's of whom all the world talked, because I know how much Tom is the superior. But I cannot endure daws to peck at him, and it galls me so to hear it implied that "poor Tom" doesn't attend regularly to his official duties, or hasn't kept a proper orthodox account of E's estate, or hasn't the Sunbury & Erie papers in a com- -prehensible form, or flirted — though that's not to the purpose — or didn't do some one of the things that people of no more intellect than Evan Thomas could and would do perfectly well. I can't say anything to the contrary, and I could bite my fingers off for vexation. Dear Tom, I'll ask him when he comes back to get his humdrum affairs in order to gratify his humdrum wife. I too neglect my hum-drum duties, and I am trying to correct the fault, trying to be tidy, to keep my plants nicely, and to be a mother to my little ones in trifles. Wednesday January 27. Last night I wrote to Aunt Alida, thanking her for a pair of shoes furnished Harry, to Lizzie Mitchell, J. P. Green, and a very long letter to Papa. Today ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p050.jpg) * Ship Judge Kane's two sons not T.L.K's with same names. I had letters from Aunt Eliza, and Walter. I lay in bed, for my cold's sake till ten, finishing a little knitted polka for Harry. I was hardly dressed when in came Miss Russell's niece Miss Ford to spend the day. So I gave up my whole day to her. I had a slip of paper from Dr Stokes— a prescription for Mrs Brow, so tomorrow I must go to Germantown with it. Thursday— Thank God the Moses *Taylor is in. So that, even if I have no letter I shall be sure that half of my darling's voyage was safely accomplished. Last night, after writing in my diary, I copied a foolscap page of Mr L's directions into my Photography book, besides a whole quantity of additions to my receipt book. Among others I wrote down the advice and prescriptions I received for the Croup, and for those almost chronic styes of Harry's. After prayers Mother and Father began talking about *Elisha and Willie, speaking of the comfort of knowing they were Christians. So I told them my darling was one. I think they ought not to have so great a comfort kept from them. My darling — if I should die while you are away, and you read this, I would like to tell you, that I think you ought to let Johnny and Pat know this. Your example ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p051.jpg) has been so much thought of by them, that your influence 24 ceasing to act against Christianity, may foster their spark into a flame. For respectability's sake, both will probably be regular church-goers, and sneer covertly at Christianity. You know I don't want you to belong to any sect, but I think that your acknowledging your faith may help them to be really as they will outwardly seem, Christians. They are afraid of your ridicule, and I think my darling ought not to deny Christ in words any more than in actions. What a close tie it makes between us! I thought when I loved him we were closely drawn together, and when he was my baby’s father, but yet this is closer and dearer than any of the links that sorrow, pain, and joy have drawn so closely round us. Either of us may die, but now we will be united afterwards. — Today I went down with m Mother to the gar- -den to see the new hot bed she is having dug. I want to keep my promise to Tom to see about the garden next spring, and to that end I peruse M' Mahon & Buist frequently. My window hyacinths reward me by promising finely, and the old draggly ivy that came from Sir Walter Scott’s grave is putting out new leaves. I have been inspecting Marjory’s work. Today I made a batch of rye-bread under super- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p052.jpg) -vision which both Judge and Mrs K. pronounced delicious. I want to learn household duties for Tom's sake. I went over to Germantown for some medicines, and things for Mrs Brow. All day I was so buoyed up by hope of a letter from Tom, which did not come. I cannot hear now till the 28th of next month. God bless and keep my darling. Little Elisha got half way across the room by the aid of chairs. He says "cock" and "Og" and points them out with his little slender forefinger. I wish, now that the point Mother has so long been complaining of was so nicely at rest, she would leave it alone. Tom told me nothing about it but feelings were probably wounded in gaining the point & since it is gained why tempt its neglect? I noticed such an evident improvement in looks and health, and brightness. And it was needed too. I wish I dared say to her not to do it, but I suppose I ought not to. interfere. Saturday January 30th <1858> Yesterday, I made wheat bread, and copied some Hydro-graphic papers for the Judge in the morning. In the evening I wrote to Papa, Sabina, Charlotte, Pat and J. P. G. besides sending off several papers for Tom. Yes, for Tom! After all ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p053.jpg) my disappointment, I had a note from him written partly on the 15th of Jan. at Panama, partly about 13-14th near Aspenwall. I almost shudder to think how close and intimate our union is. Even when separated we sometimes feel together. He says, "Am I right? This evening, I felt as if you were thinking that to indulge in weakening grief over our separation was wrong." And again " "And I will make you feel that I am with you." Look now at January 15, in my diary. Those were the very thoughts I had been thinking on the three or four preceding days, though <&> the simple mention in my 25 diary recalls them all. Is it not strange? When he comes home unexpectedly from a journey I know it before he is within hearing. — I am so thankful for this letter from dear Tom! Sunday January 31. I did very little yesterday. Not feeling well I lay down for some hours while I finished Harry's spring-hood. I have the edge yet to make for the hideous one I passed yesterday evening in making is too deep in colour. I was not out of doors at all. I felt as if Tom landed yesterday or at least was in San Francisco. I wonder when he did land! Today, after my sunset prayer I re-read his precious note. How he loves me and our darlings. God help me to become even a ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p054.jpg) faint shadow of what he calls? me. I treated my- -self to a perusal of his Washington letters. How thankful I am that he thought me a comfort to him. My darling, sweet friend. I hope he won't despise me when he comes back. Tom a Christian and studying Christ's word as his guide, will be farther than ever beyond me. That strange dream of so many years ago, when I was with ?Tom struggling onward through a dark tunnel through which deep? river flowed. At its end was a light that glowed out upon the ?waters. I was raised upon a rocky ledge and so walked almost dryshod while Tom struggled waist-deep, and held my hand, Then I was up to my neck and Tom was high up. But suddenly I was in the glowing light, holding my arms out to him who was still struggling? on through deep waters. I used to fancy it an allegory. I wonder ?if it may prove so. I hope that God will bless my effort to be cheerful I ?am glad Tom is away, breaking every fearful association with our ?late trials. It is to me the hardest part of our separation - being? no longer able to bury my eyes on his bosom and be comforted by his sympathy. He alone knows all my ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p055.jpg) fears, and shared with me the? horrors of our dreadful duty, and he could comfort me. No, no, Not even he. My Saviour, my Comforter, Thou ?knowest all, even the secret terrors, and the awful sight and sounds ?that I dare not even let myself give words too, to Tom, lest I should? vainly strive to put them away. Thou canst help me to banish? them, and I bow to Thy hand, acknowledg- -ing that it is Thy mercy? that spares Tom, and teaches me that when I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, Thou art with me. Thy rod and Thy staff alone can comfort and sup- -port. I thank Thee that I cannot break down my dear companion with my troubles. Help me to meet him again,? bright, brave, and cheerful. Strengthen, if it please. Thee, this? feeble body, to be a support to Tom and to be fit for the task of ?educating the dear children Thou hast given us. And Thou who knowest the sorrow that I dare not write, have pity. That warning of —'s not to hope, but to anticipate the worst. Oh Christ, earthly science may so decree it, but 26 Thou canst avert it, and I know Thou hearest prayer. Let my constant prayer come before Thee and answer it in mercy. Our Savior Redeemer, help, for Thy name's sake! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p056.jpg) Tuesday February 2. Yesterday I went to town called for Bess and waited with her Aunts Alida & Helen, left my name at Cousin Mary Gray's, and called on E. Holmes. I went to the Merchant's Hotel to call on Mrs Torney by Tom's request, but she is living in Spruce Street, so I must go another day. Dined at Mrs. Mitchell's where I met Mr Coale the Baltimore lawyer & photographer with whom I had what Weir called a "photographic flirtation", that is to say he gave me a great deal of information. He was kind enough to say he would send me a copy of his book, in the sheets, and another when it is bound. A pouring rain set in, so Dr Mitchell sent me home in a carriage as far as the station. Neuralgic headache all night, and all day today. I did not rise till half past ten and then worked hard till dinner time looking over E.H.K's papers for Mr Bache. I found nothing available, the Judge says, The afternoon I spent in bed but managed to get down at tea - time. I listened to the Judge all evening except while I wrote this & pasted Mormon scraps for Tom. I am sorry to receive a bill for $10.50 from Engle for plastering. This takes away all my money but $9. which I must keep for washing bills. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p057.jpg) I wish Mr. Heazlitt would send me some money. I wish I could earn money! It seems as if I were so extravagant to have used all Tom left with me, but every bill he left has exceeded his estimate. I have a hundred dollars still to pay, and it must come out of the money Mr Heazlitt pays over. Then I have servants' wages since last May, and I hate to owe them and besides all this in spring I'll have to buy some clothes. Pat has taken all the stock, etc, saying he wants it kept for Tom, and that I must let him give me all the money I need. Now I know how hard it is for him to scrape up money, and besides I know it will be hard to get him to take it again. So I'll do my best to get along. I wish I could earn it! Wednesday. February 3. This would have been poor - no not poor now, how much happier he is! – Elisha's birthday. It made me very sad to go over his papers and recall the conversations that took place over some, But "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more sorrow nor sighing." How sore my heart is tonight! I have a letter from Papa saying that he has returned to Sixteenth Street. My God, help us. How powerless I feel, the letter just brought back the pain in my head, with a sorer pain in my heart. Last night ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p058.jpg) 27 I could scarcely touch the pillow, it ached so, and now the pain is back. I wish I could make my body keep up. I can control my spirits in a great measure, but my hateful ugly body pines and suffers. Oh Tom, my heart's darling, I do try so for your sake to be strong and well, but it seems out of my own power. I try, for Christ's sake, to relinquish you cheerfully, but it is a hard struggle. Last night I yielded to the tempta- -tion of recalling how tenderly you always cared for me when my head ached, how you would take off my shoes for me, and when I was in bed, come and lay your darling head by mine and soothe me to sleep with loving word But I found I began to cry, so I forced my thoughts off. I dare not think of your tender- -ness, nor dare I think how you too may be suffering for me, nor of the hardships you are undergoing. We can pray for each other, and as I am spared your sufferings, so thank God, you are spared mine. Dear darling, you think like Lancelo Tristram, "Ah no, she is asleep in Tyntagil, Far hence, her dreams are sweet, her sleep is still, Of me she recks not, nor of my despair," and I too hope that you are gathering strength and health. Tom, if I can't stand it, and you ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p059.jpg) are reading your dead wife's journal, believe me that I struggled my very utmost to keep up, and not to grudge your sacrifice, by pining away. But oh, my husband, it is very hard to part from you when we are so weakened by our late trials. May God keep you in the hollow of His hand, and if it be His will restore us to each other. Tom, were you by me today at sunset when I was nearly overwhelmed with this news? I leaned my head over towards where you seemed, and I felt just as if your arm were round me, and I grew comforted as I prayed. I'm not doing right now. I ought not to write these unhappy feelings down, for I had fought them off. How nice it will be to read my dearest's diary that he promises me. And what a comfort his precious note from Panama is! I wrote to Tot and to Papa today, but the latter is superseded by the letter I received. So I shall write again to him. I wrote at Tot's request a letter on photography for Ju Alfred Pell. I knitted a good deal today finishing a hood for Harry, and commencing a jacket to match. I also planted my remaining hyacinth bulbs. Friday February 5th Yesterday I was entirely alone all day. Mother was in town at the Widows' ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p060.jpg) Asylum and the Judge, who went to the Opera on Wednes- -day, went with 3000 other people to hear Mr Everett lecture on Washington. So I first read the paper, therein finding that Bishop Potter had written a long complimentary notice of Uncle James Kane in his address to the Merchants' Fund Meeting, 28 which I cut out for Tom's family book. Then I cleaned my sewing machine, and made the tucks and hems of four pairs of pantalettes for Harry, then I minded the babies awhile and then read steadily for two hours Dr. Meig's Philadelphia Practice. I stopped where he says – "Without having the subject to examine it is impossible for the student to comprehend me." Having some time before arrived at the same conclusion, I shut up my book. This makes a fit introduction to my evening's employment. The Judge came out in the 3 o' clock train returning to town after dinner. He ad- -vised me to write to Walter, not to Papa at all on the subject of his return, so after tea I sat down to write. (Mother returned at 5 P. M. and seemed glad to chat over the incidents of her day with me, so I must remember always to go upstairs with her.) After tea she sat down with her account book. I first wrote to Erastus Bur– ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p061.jpg) -lingame, and then sat down to began my letter to Walter. I hardly thought I could write it but my feelings grew excited, and the only diffi- -culty was to stop. Then I feared my letter was too strong, so I determined to enclose it in a note to the Judge asking him to burn or send it as he thought fit. Now it happened that the thoughts which had been running in my head for some days had made me pray — that if I were right in thinking that I need regular occu- -pation for my health both bodily & mental, that the way might be opened to it. I added, that if He thought it right I would very much like to earn money too, but prayed that He would not grant the request if it was universe. So, my letter to the Judge, for it grew to one, to my surprise, finally terminated in a statement of the necessity I felt for mental occupation for at least two hours a day. I spoke of my efforts to occupy myself, of the dreadful sights and dreams against which I struggle, and of my feeling that two hours devoted to some object would make a pivot for my day to turn on, and would give me a savour for my other employments. Two hours a day till spring I said, ought to produce some result, if in ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p062.jpg) money, well, or if in some finished work, well too, but I did not want to fritter away the time. Would the Judge then seek me some occupation, if he thought, judging from the facts I gave him, that my inference was right? During this season photography out of doors is impracticable, as this cold warns me to my cost. When the letter was written I could scarcely believe my own eyes. I supposed that I would not feel like sending a letter, so purely the result of an impulse, in the morning, and so turned in to adding columns in Mother's account book till bedtime. Tom, you don’t believe as I do in special providences, as you call them, but I am sure that when I pray God to guide me, I do right. So, this morning, waking after the first, (aye dearie, the nights are sad to me now,) sweet refreshing sleep I have had since you left, and feeling still in the mood of sending the letter, I took it to town with me. I had to go for Mother. You will wonder why I did not quietly stick at Medicine – Well Tom, my excuse is this. I have tried. Without a master, and without models or pictures I can’t get on. To study 29 it for any time I have to absent myself ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p063.jpg) Medical study from the household. Mother neither knows, nor would approve, my course of study. This makes me liable to constant calls on my time. Then, my nerves, for the present, are, I find very much broken. Medicine does not remove my thoughts from the subject — you understand what I mean – and I am worse for every hour so spent. I left the letter at the Court, performed my errand for Mother, and called at the Mitchells I asked Lizzie to tell Weir that I would be obliged by his giving me the title of the best modern book on Children's Diseases, for I don't want to drop Medicine if I can find a branch I can safely pursue alone. Then Lizzie, Bessie, and I, called on the Dunlaps. Miss Julia was much better. Passing up Fifth Street Pat met us and begged me to meet him at the Academy as he wanted to talk to me. Then we stopped at Langenheim's, as I wanted directions for cleaning plates. He showed me how to do it while the girls went into perfect ecstasies over his stereoscopic pictures. He assures me my copying camera will be ready next week. This ensures me some of my pleasantest work soon. Huzza! (By the bye at Tot's request I wrote a long letter on photography to Alfred Pell who wants to learn) ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p064.jpg) Then we went to the Academy where I waited an hour and a half in vain for Pat. My visits to Mrs Forney, and Mrs Mott, were thus again delayed, but I don't think the time was wasted. A number of English pictures are on exhibition there, few of them worth looking at, but one, the parting between Lord William and Lady Rachel Russell 1683, is entrancing. They are in his cell - the accessories being admirably painted they say, - the figures are life-size. They stand near the door, one of her hands clenched on the lock, the other clasped in both his. He is saying "In a few hours this hand now so warm in yours clasp will be forever cold." Her face expresses just what she must have felt, for alas, this agony they really felt passed through. Determined not to grieve him by a tear, she stands looking at him, pale, but resolute. She is gazing stead- -fastly into his eyes, returning their intense sad look with one that says so much. You can see that if she sees in his face that he will break down she will call up a smile into her poor face, for all her breaking heart. But her set mouth, and the line round its corners show what is pent up, as well as the violet shadows ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p065.jpg) Man vs woman and transparent wanness of her countenance betray the sleepless anxiety she has gone through. Her golden hair hangs uncurled on her shoulders, and her blue hood comes forward over the pure calm brow which gives promise that she will conquer her sorrow and give him no additional pain. Poor fellow, it is manlike in him to say what he did, the sort of tactless expression of what he felt without thinking of the pain he gave her. You can read in her face that she has had it said just while she was doing her utmost to look bravely into his beloved eyes, and that she has strained her powers to their greatest tension to maintain her gaze unchanged, that no flash of pain may pass over her face. 30 No woman would have said that. She has thought a hundred of those sad things, but she smothers their expressions as they rise. His face expresses one thought, not the many that you read in hers. He has forgotten what he said a moment ago, for it was a sort of ejacula- -tion, a thought passing thought. His gaze drinks in her whole face, searching every line with a complete resolution of his whole soul into the determina- -tion to print her image on it that he may carry it to heaven with him. That is all he thinks of, he is not thinking of what his face may say, nor of himself at all, nor of her feelings; only ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p066.jpg) he knows that it is their parting. She learns his face off too, but she thinks of what hers says to him, and bids herself keep up a brave front for his sake. She does not know how her agony betrays itself unconsciously poor thing. Both are unselfish in different ways. Which is least so? — Well, you see I felt this picture or I wouldn't try to paint it for you. In the cars, the Judge sat by me, and told me that he had read my letter, and written one to go with it to Walter, but on consideration he thought my letter devolved the responsibility on him so completely, that it required no more pressure on him, poor fellow, so he kept back his letter. About my letter to himself he said that I was right in thinking occupation good for me. Copying, or other occupation producing money would he thought occupy time without occupying my mind much, and would deteriorate my health, giving me also very little return in money. The occupation he thought of, was one which would be advantageous in the education of the children, and was also useful at all times. It demanded undivided attention. The want of it was a great deficiency in the female mind, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p067.jpg) though mine was unusually well-trained, and I would probably enjoy very much, the study of Mathematics. Pat talked to me after dinner on the same sub- -ject. He said he was not sure about the study but agreed as to the necessity of something. He felt more inclined to my turning towards some profession, and I told him why I did not keep at Medicine. I told him I should like to learn Book-keeping and he said he wanted to learn too, and in a few weeks hoped to have leisure. Then he would get Mr Sturgis to give us both lessons. I daresay he never will get time, still I should like to learn if he can. About Mathematics I haven't made up my mind. I daresay it's useful, but I don't feel any inclination towards it. You will remind me of the West. Well, Tom, to tell the truth, the more I read about the West, the less I like it. But, dear, weren't they kind, interesting them- -selves at once, so much? Wasn't it an answer to my prayer? I had cause to thank God too about my sweet little Harry. I really believe there is good seed sown in her little heart young as she is. She was sitting on her grandmother's lap at ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p068.jpg) dessert time, and said coaxingly "Presarves is lovely!" So Grandma said to me, "Shall I give her some?" I shook my head. But when a minute had elapsed Grandma put some in her mouth. I said laughingly (31) "Naughty Grandma to give Harry preserves!" The little thing opened her mouth and dropped the just-tasted mouthful, saying - My grandma's bad, and then clasped my neck, and having gained the victory cried bitterly. Grandma followed her with the spoon but she wept and refused it steadily, saying "I can't like presarves, presarves must be ugly." I praised and kissed her to my heart's content. I often fancied that I was correct in my hope that it was the idea of obeying me that influenced her, when I have seen her in reply to my head-shake refuse a thing offered her that she wanted. She never will take a thing from any one else that I have refused her, and if she doubts about whether any unusual luxury is permissible she always turns to read my face, and if it looks negative she will refuse it. Then she sobs, poor wee pet, but she has said "Get thee behind me, Satan" and she sticks to it. God bless her, and help me to train her and her brother to be His Children. notation by ? Bless you, mother, how cousin "Sashy" stern thy sweetness is Kane ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p069.jpg) Saturday, February 6th. Household occupations all day. I found Mother so much distressed – Ja Bridget & Ann both being away — by her preparations for receiving Mr & Mrs Hilgard, that I let Jane Picket do her work all day, and I made a pudding, wiped the breakfast things, set the table and tried to make myself useful. It was such a clear bright day that, as Mrs H. did not come, I walked over to call on Mrs. Ingersoll and spent an couple hour there. Mr Hilgard I found very interesting. In the evening the Judge explained to me what Algebra is. I suppose I am in for it. If it were to be of no use I think I should learn in gratitude for his kindness. They are all so kind to me, Tom. I also copied some more of my photography. Sunday, February 7. I let Jane Pickett go to town yesterday afternoon and bade her be sure to return this afternoon. She has not come, and I shall have to take her to task. How I hate it! I wish I were one of those model housekeepers who are so friendly with their servants, and reprove them in such a wonderful way. I wonder what such a one would say to Jane. She is active, neat, and bright and willing to work, but thoughtless as a child, passionate, and invariably saucy when reproved, I wish ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p070.jpg) she had returned! As she is away, I had to take care of both children a good deal. I was amused by Elisha's efforts to walk from one chair to another. He kept saying "ah-ah-ah" in an encouraging way, making a step forward holding one chair, then laughing, tottering and going back. He abandoned it after about twenty attempts. He climbs, though he cannot walk. I wrote to Aunt Mary Ferguson whose only remaining daughter is dead, and to Papa, and read several chapters in the Bible, and a very inferior sermon of Dr Boardman's on Moral Courage. (32) (I wish I had some to scold Jane Pickett with) I comforted my heart greatly with the beautiful psalm "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High." God preserve my darling. Little Harry said of herself last night "Dear Friend, please take of my dear Papa, far away over the sea." Today she took a pencil and paper "to write to my darling Father." She says "she will give him her Treasure Book, and Mother Goose if he will come home." Oh Tom, if I could see you! Dear fellow, dear, dear, darling, where are you now? Oh how my heart aches for you. Poor fellow, I hope you are not suffering from cold, crossing mountains andeserts ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p071.jpg) deserts. And the Indians and Mormons — God preserve and guard you through all. I walked in the afternoon to Oak Lane School House, we had the service nicely read by a fair haired mustached and bearded young man who afterwards read one of Kingsley's Village Sermons aloud. So I was very well pleased. I had asked little Willie Morton to come for me, so he called and walked with me, and I engaged him to come next Sunday. Monday, February 8. Bess and Lizzie came out today. As Mother is still chambermaid & cookless, I was busy trim- -ming the lamp, wiping the breakfast china, and taking care of the babies while Jane acted as chamber- -maid. (I mention these trivial details, Tom, because you like to me to help Mother about the house.) When the girls came, I was polishing glass plates under Miss Harry's supervision while Sashy slept. I welcomed the girls, Mother being in town, and when Jane came for the children, I went down stairs. I made Lizzie walk with me to Grubtown where I found Mrs Brow looking very much better. – In the evening the Judge gave me a first lesson in algebra. I had a letter from Walter, very affectionate but unsatisfactory inasmuch as he does not seem to see the necessity of his being ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p072.jpg) in the house at 16th St. I wish he would go. I am sure he means to do right, and I love him so much that I am pained for him when I see his roughness noticed even though silently by others. I hope it will teach me not to show anything in my manner to pain Mother when her brothers are here. I was glad that J. Pickett returned with a good excuse for her absence, a very sick aunt with whom she sat up all night. Tuesday, Feb. 9. I have got into (an elegant phrase!) such regular habits that it breaks into them a good deal to have the girls here. I trimmed the lamp, minded the babies, and made a dish of scalloped oysters, and took two unsuccessful dry plate photographs. Then I walked with the girls to call on Mrs Burns and then up Oak Lane to the old York Road and home by Green Lane the longest 33 walk I think I have ever taken in the country. After dinner I lay down & rested. I worked for a little over an hour at my algebra, and wrote diary before tea After my sunset hour which I pass partly praying, partly with our children I always feel strengthened for the evening. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p073.jpg) How beautifully my hyacinths look! I have a splendidly blown double White Castor, and a single dark blue À la Bonne Heure. A very pretty single pink L'Ami du Coeur is coming out (a very disagreeable scent it has, by the way) and a sweet scented, not very pretty pale blue one called (by mistake) Red L'Ami du Coeur. Isn't this a sweet note from Johnny? I had a note from Sabina urging me to visit 16th Street, and one a day later from Papa mentioning that Walter is sick. [note contained within letter containing the following writing] Paris Rue Racine 20 Jan 21st 1858 Page 33 typewritten copy My dear Bess – I write merely to say God bless you – That I feel with you in your trial and to thank you for the noble manner in which you have behaved – I know how you have acted when I read that Tom had gone even before I read Bessie Kane's note telling me about it – You will see by the family letter what are my thoughts with regard to Tom's action. What I say about the health is my real opinion and not a blague – Kiss the little ones for me God bless you once more my dear Sister and goodnight John — [text perpendicular on top left side of note] From her backands young brother Dr John Kane ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p074.jpg) How beautifully my hyacinths look! I have a splendidly blown double White Castor, and a single dark blue 'A la Bonne Heure. A very pretty single pink L'Ami du Coeur is coming out (a very disagreeable scent it has, by the way) and a sweet scented, not very pretty pale blue one called (by mistake) Red L'Ami du Coeur. Isn't this a sweet note from Johnny? I had a note from Sabina urging me to visit 16th Street, and one a day later from [---] mentioning that [-] [Note folded in center of page] Wednesday February 10. The poor Judge was so sick this morning that he could not go to town. So I went for him, taking his excuses for the neglect of his duty as assay officer. I found poor Pat looking old and careworn. He seemed so disappointed that his father could not come to his dinner party to meet Mr Pl[---]. that when I got home & found him looking better, I persuaded him to go to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p075.jpg) WED. FEB'Y 10, 1858 town in the evening train. In town I left my card with a polite message for Mrs Forney, for Mrs Guillou, and Mrs Wharton, called on Aunt Patterson, looked in vain for Mrs Mott's, went to Buist's for snowdrops, and went to Langenheims. Then I went to the Mitchell's for Lizzy, to the Dunlaps to learn a knitting stitch for Lizzie and to the Intelligence office for Mother. So I spent a busy morning. I worked at my Algebra for about an hour in the evening but I had such a violent headache, I could hardly see. Lizzie and Bessie spent the evening at Mrs Ingersoll's. I am invited to go with them to Miss Fox's tomorrow evening. Thursday - I spent part of the morning at my Algebra and wrote to Papa, and attempted to go down to bake bread - found the cook baking - attempted to photograph - found it bitter cold work, so I gave up, and I am ashamed to say, pored over a book I had in reserve for a sad hour - George Sand's Countess of Rudolstadt. We had an exceedingly pleasant quiet evening at Miss Fox's. Miss Helen Scott was there. She is staying at Mrs Inger- -soll's. On our return we found the Judge had gone to bed sick. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p076.jpg) Friday. I went over with Lizzie & Bessie to Mrs Inger- -soll's to call on Miss Scott. She joined us in a walk to Branchtown, along the York Road to Morton's Lane & so home. I was very cold when I came home and treated myself while I warmed my cold nose to finishing the Comtesse de Rudolstadt. I know I ought not to read novels, Tom, and I have been very bad about it, but I hope you will forgive me, as you were away and I have no work for you to do. Then I worked at the algebra for an hour. Slept in the afternoon. The Judge went to town and brought out word that poor Mr Heaylitt has had an apoplectic fit apparently. He fell, in leaving the omnibus. I wrote my regret to Mrs Caldwell his sister. Miss Scott spent the evening here but I was up with Harry who had a "nervous spell." I did not get to sleep till 1/4 past 3 on Saturday morning. I paid $4.50 to Jas Irwin for prints Mother bespoke from the Thos Leiper plate. It has cost $54.50 instead of $40 as Tom thought it would. - Lizzie went to town but we all thought the Judge so ill that Bessie stayed here. I feared from the sounds he made that he was going to have pleurisy, but Tom Betton said it was only a severe cold. Bess and I felt very dull ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p077.jpg) however, so we walked to Branchtown, and then I read aloud to her, and then worked for two hours at my Algebra besides making some bread. I want to understand the 4 simple rules of Algebra thoroughly before I go further. In the afternoon Pat came out. He sat up with his father all night. In the evening I made J. P. G. read aloud an article in the new Westminster Review on the British Rule in India, but we could not get Bess to pay attention. Sunday February 14. Valentine's Day, finds us with our first heavy snow. The Judge seems much better, but Tom Betton pronounces him ill of Pneumonia. I shall grow superstitious. Last Wednesday Bessie said several depressed things about hating to return to town, she wished some- -thing would occur to prevent it, she antici- -pated such and such disagreeable meetings. (35) I told her there was no use in fretting before hand about things that never might happen, and if they did happen she did not for- -tify herself by dwelling on them in anticipa- -tion. She began a gloomy view of her affairs. Take care Bessie I cried. If God were to hear you and answer your wishes how sorry you would be. You don't ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p078.jpg) know what may happen to keep you from going to town." This has happened. Mother made me scallop some oysters for dinner, so I shall be quite a cook. Read to Bess and minded the children. I copied some lines that I think beautiful though Bessie does not like them. Labour and Rest. "Two hands upon the breast, And labour is done; Two pale feet crossed in rest, And labour is done The race is won! Two eyes with coin weights shut, And all tears cease; Two lips where grief is mute, And wrath at peace." So pray we oftentimes, mourning our lot; God, in his kindness, answereth not. "Two hands to work addrest Aye for his praise; Two feet that never rest Walking his ways; Two eyes that look above, Still, through all tears; Two lips that breathe but love, Never more fears." So cry we afterwards, low at our knees; Pardon those erring prayers! Father, hear these! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p079.jpg) Certainly if any one longed for the first I did. I don't know that I fully enter into the second, but at least I hope I will. — I wrote to Charlotte & to Walter. Monday Feb. 15. I am to write again to Tom. A Mr Waln, going to California offers to take any parcels. I am so glad! Father is much better. I feel in grand spirits. — Bess and I walked to Germantown Branchtown. It was a most brilliant day. The carts were making the most of the thin cake of ice on the ponds, and every one seemed in good spirits, 36 Coming home I sat with the Judge part of the time, and part of the time worked for about two hours at the Algebra. While dressing for dinner Pat came to the door and slipped in a note from my own darling, sent from Acapulco Jan 21. There was also one from Antony Osborn saying how well Tom was. Thank God. [following paragraph is bracketed on left] In the afternoon I occupied myself from dinner till tea time in deciphering a letter from Tom to the Judge written in cipher, with some mistakes. It only said "News from Salt Lake here via California, of little value but for certain indications that Brigham Young intends takethe guns. I shall probably be too late to make peace, but not too late to prevent the spring massacre." In the evening J. P. G. read aloud "Austrian Prisons." Towards night the Judge seemed to have some fever, and Pat was very anxious. About 12 PM. (We went to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p080.jpg) Judge Kane's illness. worse bed about 11.) Pat came to the door and said his father seemed better. Tuesday Feb. 16. The Judge is much worse this morning. I have been sitting in the room with him, and writing to Tom, besides taking charge of the children. This is all I have done this day up to noon, when I write. Wednesday February 17. The Judge much the same. I have letters from New York all urging me to come and stay there. I wonder if poor Tom is saddened by our sorrow. Weir told me that the disease would decide itself in two or three days. He would certainly recover if he were a younger man, but as it is he has age and weakness against him. The dangers are two, one that he may relapse into the disease, which is checked now, the other and most likely, is that he may fall into a low typhoid fever and die like Mr. T. J. Wharton. Poor Pat is sure he can not recover and I fear so too. God grant him restoration if possible. Oh my darling Tom, what will you do? Thursday February 18. We were miserable about the Judge but the doctors seem to think him slightly better. May God grant him life, I pray! Thursday Afternoon. Pat asked me if I would be willing to share a responsibility with him. Dr Betton proposed having a fourth physician, but the Judge seems bothered at having so many, and Pat is anxioius to know whether I do not also trust to Weir's skill. I do, and do not think it ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p081.jpg) Death of John K. Kane worth while to consult others, as the three have been agreed all along. I am trying to do what I can, seeing to the meals, and writing notes, and receiving the numbers who come to inquire. It is almost too much for me to sit at table with so many strangers alone. There are Mr Butler, Mr Fisher, Mr Leiper, Dr Betton, W. Moss, and Weir, to tea. Friday morning. Feb. 19. Just before tea last night Dr B. came down and took me aside to tell me the case was hopeless. Oh Tom, my poor Tom, how can you bear it! There is no way of breaking the shock to you, my darling. But I must not think of you now. There is enough to bear in the present. I am thankful that poor Pat is able to feel as if I were strong enough to help him. Dear Father suffers very little. He is entirely unconscious of all around him, and his broken sentences show that he is busy in Court, or writing his Memoir on the Coast Survey. He never knew how ill he was, so he has not missed Tom and John. The last day of comparative clearness he was pleased to get Tom's note. I am so glad that I was so much with him lately, and I believe I have been a comfort to him in Tom's absence. Tom and Johnny could not have been of any service now, as he is well nursed, and is unconscious of the absence or presence of any one. Mother bears up as usual. She sits [text upside down in bottom left corner of manuscript] Medicine at 10+30 Bit of Coughing Tobacco 11-20 min ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p082.jpg) on the bed beside him and he holds her hand. Sometimes we hear him say – "Mammy, you poor dear soul, why don't you — and "Dear Mother, don't you see?" He is not so quiet this morning as yester- -day. Every now and then we hear some louder word of a sentence, as we sit down here. 12 M. I went upstairs after washing up the break- -fast things, and sitting an hour with Mr Dunlap and H. Taylor, and found that Pat had fallen asleep on his bed with Bessie's hand locked in his. Father was quiet, with Willie Moss and Mother, so I was best out of the way. I went to my children whom I keep penned up in my room, but I don't feel equal to the task of entertaining them. So I came back to my diary to have some link between you, and these dreary days, my darling. Perhaps you will like to know how he passed away, but, my boy, if you were here with this in addition to your other trials, and your health enfeebled as it was – surely, it would kill you. So I must try to be grateful that you are away gathering strength for the battle. Pat has been talking about money-matters with me, twice, during his illness. He proposes that we should finish the new building plainly — (dear Father, there's nothing in the house that does not remind us of you.) Then he will ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p083.jpg) retain his rooms at Mrs Stovell's until John comes. If John chooses he can take an office next door, & take his meals at Mrs S's, having a portable bed in his office. Pat will use Frank to carry him in and out of town, unless John wants him, he says, as a doctor's horse. Frank is too fiery for that I fancy. Pat says that Tom ought to take charge of the Mc. K. & E. property, and the Meadows. That his time will be well spent on them. But I, this I say, must try to think what Tom can do to earn his living, as his clerkship is gone. Go West, we must not, while Mother lives. If he could replace Mr Struthers? (38) Thurs Friday Evening. Aunt Aldia, Mr Wharton, Mr Phillips Mr Dunlap, Mr Fisher Aunt Mary Leiper, Mr W. Leiper all here, in this great snowstorm. Dear father seems a little better. Oh that it were possible to keep him with us. Saturday Morning, 9 A.M. Rose feeling quite hopeful, but alas, his quiet is only that of exhaustion. He knew us all, kissed us fondly and stroked our faces. He is sinking as quietly to sleep as a little baby. 1/2 past 4 P.M. We have been in & out of the room all day expecting every minute to be the last. But he has again brightened up a little. Seeing, as they gave him beef tea that ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p084.jpg) he looked conscious, I said in a clear cheerful voice "That's right, thank you, dear Judge." He brightened up and held out his face to kiss me. I then asked "Haven't you a kiss for Bessie Kane?" He kissed her and Mother. Then I said "Give me a kiss for Tom." He did so, and then held out his mouth again "One for Johnny?" I said and kissed him. Then he said with effort "For Pat too." So I kissed him for Pat and then for the children & Aunt Alida He suffers nothing. 1/2 past seven. Wavering from better to worse, unconscious.—Wrote to John Sunday Morning. Through the night they could hardly get him to take nourishment. At dawn they thought him just going, but life flickered up again. It is nine o'clock and he seems easy and comfortable. Just now he said "Dear Mother, I'll go with you wherever you like in the woods and will have a delicious regale." Pat is so worn out that Mother & he are to lie down now while Bess & I and W. Moss sit up there. Last evening he seemed to hear me and Mrs Moss best, or at least obeyed our voices about swallowing ,etc. Weir says he cannot say how long this may last. H. Wharton is to come out here to sit up tonight if necessary. Sunday Evening. I have coaxed Pat to go to sleep in my room and am writing to John. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p085.jpg) *angels Monday February 22. While I was writing to John we were all summoned upstairs. Father was falling into a sweet (39) sleep. His breathing was as quiet as a baby's, and he passed from death into Life so gently that only the pausing of the pulse told us when he was gone. The quiet snow lay in masses all the way down to his dear little Rock Run, and the moonlight was half veiled by a thin haze of clouds; so peaceful a night, so tranquil a farewell! It was at nine o'clock. We, Mother, Bessie, and I, and poor Uncle William went to Bessie's room and sat there. Mother's long pent up nervous excitement relieved itself by talking and after a while I went down and wrote the end of my letter to John. Dear Tom, I brought the handkerchief you gave me to keep for you that wiped Elisha's face to lay over Father’s. He said yesterday morning to Mother, pointing towards the ventilator— "Sashy? Don’t you see him, Mother? * And those little angels with him, there, and there don't you see them wheeling about?" After I left them Mother slept, with Bessie. She eat this morning, and so did Pat. She sat in my room all day, seeing all her relatives who came. I had some work to do keeping house as I do, but the rest of the day I sat with her, except while I wrote again to Johnny. My dear Tom, I daren't think of you. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p086.jpg) I went in last night again, when I took the handkerchief and kissed him for Tom. That was my last look of the dear true friend of whose great strong love I have been so unworthy. I resolved as I stood there, to repay his goodness, if I could, in devotion to those he left. I am so nervous this Monday evening. Is it only nervousness or is anything happening to Tom. I almost see him every now and then as I lift my eyes to the door. Dear Tom, I'll try to reach you by letter if I can before the newspapers do. I found the enclosed among his papers while I was rummaging for paper to write to John. It is the one I wrote him on Feb. 4. Judge Kane's death ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p087.jpg) Tuesday Feb. 23. This morning Mother is again in a dreadfully nervous state, worrying about George Taylor and her other relatives. She has seen all of them who came. I have written to Tom by the way of Mr Plitt and the President. I wish I could have written my whole heart out, but I was disturbed so much and so many times that I was from early morning till five in the afternoon trying to write. I am keeping house for Mother, and she kept me busy all day writing having meat cooked for tomorrow and providing meals for every one who came. I am thankful to be so very busy, as it enables me to keep up my cheer- -fulness for them. I make a point of coming to sit with each one as they come to their meals, and I have to see so many people, and write so many letters that there is no time for me to grieve for my dear (40) friend, and for my own poor Tom. In the evening poor Uncle William came home quite intoxicated and was insolent to Pat, and Mother was worried, and we had a sorrowful evening. I hope he won't come here to live. Thursday February 25. Oh my own Tom, to think that yesterday, dear friend, our father's body was laid in Laurel Hill. Yesterday was horrible. None of the holy quiet of the farewell to his soul. All that makes death dreadful we had. Mother would see every one who came and detailed his sickness and death a dozen times. She is unnaturally cheerful I should think, if they did not ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p088.jpg) tell me it was the case when Willie died. Bess and I were worn out, and so was dear Pat, but Mother laughed and chatted till 11 P.M. with Aunt Eliza who stayed here. It seems fearful. She invited Uncle William to come out here every night and Pat says she must not be crossed. Let him come and live here. I feel as if I were selfish, but I cannot help feeling as if this would be a great pity, not only on account of the poor man's own habits, but that I am anxious that Bess should feel her mother leaning on her and rouse herself for her sake. I hope that it is only my over-anxiety, but Mother seems to be annoyed by Bessie's fondness and caresses, and repulses her, too. Then Bessie is so unhappy, poor child, and misses her Father more than ever. I sit by Mother with my writing, or knitting, or the children, nearly all the time. Today I took a little air with Mr Dunlap. Poor Bess is very hard worked to day she is putting her poor Father's clothes away. Friday. Pat went to Washington today, sorely against the grain. He asked me, last night, and I advised his going. Already, people are anxious to bring the family influences to bear on the appointment of a new Judge. Of the candidates I remember the names of G. M. Wharton, John Cadwalader, J. C. VanDyke, E. K Price, G. M. Dallas, Judge Black, and Judge Sharswo[--]. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p089.jpg) x Note: (1) McHean an Elk Land & Improvement Co. * This was done soon after I wish there was any chance for a clerkship for Tom, or if not that, I wish the Mc. K & E. people would make Tom agent in place of Struthers'. I coaxed Bess to go out on the terrace this lovely day for a little while. Aunt Patterson came yesterday, to stay till Monday, and Bess seems happy to have her. Saturday. I had my sewing-machine brought to the dining-room. Mother enjoys sitting there with us and her work. So I cut out a yellow or buff frock for Harry, and worked at it. (41) Lizzie M. spent the day here. They seem to be again a little anxious about Papa. God grant all to be right there! What trouble we have had this winter! Poor Pat came back today tired out. He brought the evening papers, with news of the California steamer's arrival. So I may hear from Tom to- -morrow, or rather Monday! Sunday. I minded the children some time, then walked on the terrace with Bessie. There Pat <*(2)> joined us, very unhappy, and feeling a weight of work devolving upon him, and sure that with the new Judge his practice would go, and he couldn't help with Mother's income. I did what I could to cheer (Note 2)— Gloomy Pat Kane, Francis Ficher K's father. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p090.jpg) him, and he began to tell me his plans for money saving, and what he had been trying to do in Washington with the aid of his really warm-hearted friend Mr Plitt. The post has been offered to J. Cad -walader, to whom it will very probably go. He has written to say that his acceptance depends on the way in which the offer is made. He says he will only take it as a stepping stone to the Supreme Bench. Now Pat wishes it understood by him that it is a finality. Then, if J. C. refuses, Mr Plitt will try to have the offer made to Mr Eli K. Price. Pat hopes much should this appointment be made, that either he can get the Reportership, Tom the clerkship, or that at least he will be a kind and friendly Judge. — When Pat had done talking I came in, read the Service, and a first rate sermon to Bess. A visit from Mrs Ingersoll took up the remainder of the morning. Poor Pat got himself into hot water by some remarks on whiskey which were supposed to reflect on Uncle Bill. Dear me! I cannot realise that only this day week, we were waiting on that sickbed. I feel a sort of tired, dazed, numbness, but otherwise I don't realise my trouble at all. Mother is only just beginning to do so. Bess is very natural, very ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p091.jpg) 1858 x Note- the famous defendant. unhappy but cheered by her Bible: Pat very miserable. And you, my own, my poor darling God love & comfort you Monday March 1st A week ago last night all was over. Now we drag on quiet sad lives. God give me strength to do my duty to these dear kind people. Today, I really did what I have so often threatened to do, gave up J. Picket's services. I hope I shall be able to get along. I am to pay Mother's chambermaid 50 cents for doing up my "finery" and J.P. who becomes Mother's seamstress 25 cts to get their babies breakfasts. This saves me 15 cents a week wages, and $3 board - in the year $195. This is a famous cut down. (42) Tuesday Evening. Yesterday I had a letter from A. Osborn announcing their safe arrival, and my own dearling sent me his diary. What a treasure to me! I wrote him a long long letter this morning. I am worn out tonight, as I slept in my clothes last night dear Harry being croupy. During Father's sickness Pat says :Passmore Williamson was among the most constant inquirers at the court after him. Thursday Morning. Oh how tired I was yesterday. I minded the children all the morning except just a little time while I walked to Branchtown ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p092.jpg) to see about my washing. Jane Nelson, purposely, I think dilly-dallied over everything so that I scarcely could get hold of her at all. I fairly cried with weariness at the last. I hope Ill get along better soon. Helped Mother at night with her accounts. Pat wants a statement of last year's expenditure. He asked also for my little bureau, so I had some pretty hard work in compressing my clothes into smaller space, this morning. I began a letter to Papa too, Friday. Which I didn't finish till this morning. Yesterday I got on quite well with the babies and had a half lesson from Langenheim. I also finished an elaborate frock for Harry and darned my stockings. At night I worked with Mother, and we finished an account of the expenses of Fern Rock for 1857, classified in the way Tom taught me. I read Macaulay's History for a little while to Bessie. May 19. Letter from T.L.K. dated March 5. Friday and Saturday were very busy days. It seemed as if I were baby minding all the time, though to be sure I managed to do a good deal of sewing. I darned, and patched at the children's clothes which I must get in good order for the spring. I was disposed to grum- -ble a good deal about the giving up of so much time to the chicks, but after all—what is it? In a few months their nursery will be next to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p093.jpg) my room, and then it will be much easier, and besides, I have to do it. There is no question about it, Tom cannot now give me two nurses. I am thankful I had them so long, so that I have now gained so much strength, and if I do it cheerfully, it will be much less wearing. So for a motto, 43 "A servant, with this clause, Makes drudgery divine, Who sweeps a floor, as for God's law, Makes that and the action fine." And certainly the darlings pay me back in re- -doubled love and sweet caresses. — I am going to send all my washing to O'Neill's wife, instead of paying Mother's woman 50 cts a week for it, I fancy it will be cheaper. Sunday, March 7th Last night I wrote again to Tom by a Mormon who is going to try to get through the army, if possible. I read Bessie one of Robertson's sermons, and one to myself , but I don't agree with him at all. In the afternoon we walked over to the School-House Church, where the service, and one of Kingsley's Village sermons were nicely read. It was very pleasant. After I came home, and the babies were asleep, I wrote to Papa, as well as to Johnny K. —Bess and I were unfortunate at dinner today. Regretting past days as having been so happy, and speaking of Rensselair, Roseland, Lapidea, etc, I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p094.jpg) said I thought we could find happiness all our lives through if we chose to look for it. Every year when we looked on the preceding one we remembered its joys, and slighted its sorrows. Pat agreed, but then Bessie said to me, "Were you happy in 1857?" "Yes," I said, "in Elk County I was very happy." "I was not, it was a very miserable year to me," replied she. "Well," said Pat, "if you were not so very miserable, I am sure you laughed a good deal." Mother then said— "Yes, often, when I came back from Havana and heard all the laughter going on, Tom and I would shut ourselves up and cry alone. Little you seemed to care for your heavy trouble." This speech will have a very unfortunate effect. Bessie is inclined enough to fall into a low pining, productive in the future of great evil to her character. I have tried very hard to make her rouse up as her father I know would wish, and go about her duties like a Christian. Hard enough it has been, and I was thankful to see she was trying. Now, she will feel called on to assume the whining voice and ways, with the black veil and all the other pagan mournings for those gone across the dismal river Styx to the mournful quiet of Hades. If it is my duty as a Christian to take care of my health, to wrestle and overcome my in- -clination to sit down and pine for Tom, if I ought to go cheerfully about my duties, enjoying and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p095.jpg) thanking God for my other mercies, ought I, who believe dear Father to be so happy and secure, that the anxiety I must feel for Tom, does not exist for Them him; to shroud my heart and lips as if God had taken in cruelty, and crushed a dear one in eternal misery, or eternal nothingness? No, I am sure not. I will thank God, and take courage. 44 There is natural grief, that God does not forbid, He pities and comforts us, but as to surrounding ourselves with every circumstance that can make us heavier and less able to do our duty, that I am certain is selfish and wrong. Mother pained me, as well as Bessie, me by implying that my Tom shut himself up alone in his grief pained by my laughter and merriment. That is a sore ac- -cusation. Oh my own, my darling, kind sympatheticy friend to me, have I so pained you? God forgive one for it. —Now poor Bess will think it right to whine, and to excite her sympathy for herself by constantly forcing to mind every kindness from her Father, every time he has understood her, when her mother didn't, every association with him. As if they did not rise unbidden every moment! Ah me, I hoped Bess would be able to be her Mother's active right hand. But they will always jar, I fear. And I, will my poor husband in his sorrow, feel ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p096.jpg) me unsympathising? God knows if I thought it right to give way, I could sob my heart out. But I don't, and I only wish I could keep my body strong as I can my spirit. Poor Tom, I hope I will be able when you come home to look less wan and hollow eyed, than I do now. Wednesday March 10. It seems scarcely worth while to write, these quiet days. I mind the children, sew, and write letters, read aloud, and try to comfort Mother Pat and Bess. I wish I were more patient and loving to Bess. I get irritated by nothings and I am afraid I answer her testily often. I wrote to Mrs Peterson and Mrs Plitt for Mother, and to Harry and Helen last night. Lizzie Mitchell came out to spend the day, and with her poor Mr L. again. Bess would not come down to see him till the last. I accompanied poor Mother to town, the first visit time she has left the house since Father was taken sick. She went in to take out letters of administration, I believe they term it. She looks very ghastly, poor darling. Coming home I got her to talk about her youthful days, and then she fell asleep. Ah, my own Tom, how could I do if I did not hope to see you again. Oh God watch over us and help us to fight the good fight, lay hold on eternal life! In the evening read aloud, and sewed. I am ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p097.jpg) 1858 trying to make Sashy a little red polka to shelter his poor wee arms in. Thursday March 11. Jane gave my room a cleaning today, so I had much baby minding to do. Then I set to work and put Tom's papers in order (sort of order!) It occupied me nearly all morning, together with focussing, and adjusting my cam new copying camera. I want very much to copy Mamma's miniature if I can before it goes home. I was so tired by dinner time that I meant to rest myself, but Jane brought 45 me two under jackets of Mother's to sew in the ma- -chine, and by the time they were done I had only leisure to clean half a dozen plates for use tomorrow (if I can photograph) before 5 o'clock came. Then I minded the babies till their supper was ready, then came my darling's sunset hour, then I wrote to Papa, then came tea-time, then I finished some sleeves I have been making, and embroidered some portion of baby's polka. Then I wrote in my diary. Mr. Guillon sent me a kind note, accompanying Mr Coale's book which he has sent me. Mrs Plitt also wrote a very warm-hearted and (bombastic) note. I can scarcely keep still tonight. I feel very ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p098.jpg) sad, and if I do, what does Mother feel? We are making a sort of routine of evening occu- -pation. Bess and Johnny Green study French in the parlor, while Pat works in the library, and while Mother brushes her teeth I sit with the babies letting Jane go to supper. Then we sit together writing or sewing. I think she likes to have me with her, we don't clash as she and Bess do. I wish they didn't! Bess and I often sit awhile with Pat who is very very unhappy. Bessie says Pat talks more freely with me about business than he does with her. I don't know what to do! I know one of my besetting sins is to like to be much to people I love, and to be jealous of any one else. So I can feel for Bess. Well, if I keep away, will I mend matters? I will try not to obtrude myself but if my society seems a sort of tame cat com- -fort to any of them I think I ought not to keep apart. God forgive my sins and help me to be less censorious and self conceited. Ugh! you hateful ugly thing, you! I saw when I was tidying Tom's closet, some of his old letters to me, and I took them down that I may bring back the old days, "Let the early summer be Once more round them, and the sea Blue, and o'er its mirror kind ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p099.jpg) Let the breath of the May wind Wandering through their drooping sails? Die on the green fields of Wates, Let a dream like this restore What their eyes must see no more." When I read his letters, and note his loving words it seems as if he really loved me as much as I love him, but then, when I think how intensely he loves his own family especially his father, I feel how little claim I have on his love, and fear that he will break his heart, as they say. Yet he chose me for his wife, surely that is not conceited or wrong in me to feel, to hope at least, that my love may be some comfort to him. How gladly I would die to make him happy, My own! I’ll try to do everything I can to cheer his dear ones. Even if they weren’t his, I should try for my dear friend’s sake. Dear Father, you are not dead to me. How dearly I love you, and 46 how happy you are now with all those you love in heaven. I daresay you often think of your dear little Fern Rock where you were so happy, and where your presence made itself felt everywhere. How glad I am you enjoyed it all so much. And how you sympathised with us all. How we miss you! How glad we shall be to join you. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p100.jpg) May 25. MAY 25 The papers say the 12th March was the day Tom reached Camp Scott. Friday 12th. After minding the babies, went over to my shed, with the copying camera, and Mamma's miniatures. As Mr Langenheim could not give me the length of time requisite for my pictures I took over half a dozen plates to experiment on. With them I obtained two pictures, the negatives seem pretty gone. This took me till the children's dinner hour, after which I dressed, and saw Miss Fox who called. Sewed at a little frock with the wheel, then went up to the babies. Jane was going about with Sashy holding his frock as he walked. While she went to cook his supper, the little fellow started off, and walked all over alone. He was delighted, so was I. He is very late in walking, 15 months and 2 weeks. Harry Wharton came to drink tea. He walked about with Bess and sat in the parlour with her while Mother and I sat & sewed. Poor Pat is quite sick with a heavy cold. Saturday. After minding the babies, and mending the soiled clothes for the wash I got over to my shed by 11 minutes to 11, and worked there till 12. I copied Grandmamma's miniature, and one of Tom, the Judge and Elisha together. Harry recognised her Grandfather's at once, and soon after said "Isn't that Tommige?” I was so glad she knew him. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p101.jpg) Bessie went to the House of Refuge again, and found that the ladies she has there to teach in Sunday School are getting on nicely. She asked me to write down for Tom's benefit that she appreciated the truth of his saying — "If one undertakes a really useful work, others will always be ready to go on with it, where it is once started." Charlotte came in the 2.15 train and spent the afternoon asleep with a headache, The evening was quiet, Mr. Fisher (C.H.) coming to call. Sunday March 14. Jane going to church, my entire morning was given to the children. Bess kept Elisha nearly an hour for me. Charlotte tells me a sad story. Mrs W's influence is greater than ever. She now figures as a saint and martyr. She has furnished a parlor for herseIf on the second story, keeps five servants, but com- -plains that dreadfully hard work falls on her. She is very unkind to Nelly whom she has never forgiven for going back to New York. Nell and Harry are very unhappy, but keep it from Papa as it is so essential for him to be happy. Harry however is almost desperate being terrified by the idea of being left without Walter. Walter and Sabina are now staying in 16th ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p102.jpg) Street where Mrs Wood does everything she can unnoticed by Papa to make poor little Sabina uncomfortable. Poor Walter has it seems been very dangerously ill with malignant Scarlet Fever. They did not let me know for fear I should be anxious. He has been unhappy, and I have done him injustice. It is Papa who, under Mrs W's influence, refuses to have him. He tried to go to live In 16th. St.- and Papa at last told him "he had no right there." Tot told Papa she must have Walter if she were to live there <(or at least, the girls)> and threatened to let her friends know the state of affairs. Papa said she behaved as no daughter should, & contrasted her behaviour with the sweet and for- -giving disposition of Mrs W! Finally the girls, with Walter's approval, sent Papa the following, which he rejected. He begs for a delay till the autumn. He has $10.000 a year and is amply able to afford it. Delay, delay! Always trying to put off the evil day, crushing out my sisters' lives and hearts under that vile woman's foot, how bewitched he Is. How long, Oh Lord, how long! Pity and relieve them! Monday. So cloudy in the morning that I set to other work believing I could not print my pictures. However the sun shone and I used what *copied 2 pages further on ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p103.jpg) leisure time I had in making prints according to Mr Coale's "Sel d'or" process of my miniature copies of Papa's miniatures. They did pretty well, but the one of Tom is evidently badly focussed. I must try it again. Tuesday. Becky Patterson, her husband, and child with Cousin M. Gray dined here. The Griers also called. I had a serious disappointment about my letters. I hoped that I should have one from Tom giving me his plans in detail. Then I was prepared to expect none till his return. But this one I fully expected. There was none. A. Osborn enclosed some newspaper scraps setting * forth the suspicions of San Bernardino regarding "Dr Osborne's" being a Mormon Spy. He must have had some annoyance at the place, to which it seems I have so well founded an annoyance aversion. He must (48) have left there about the 4th. of Feb. and is, ere now, I trust in Salt Lake City. How long before I can hear of him! I was fairly sick with my disappointment, aided perhaps by the languid spring air, and worry about 16th. St., and had at last to give up and go to bed. Wednesday 17th. Woke up feeling languid and sick, but worked at the machine pretty busily, making an oil cloth cover for it, in part, and beginning a crocket band for Harry's little pink frock. Mrs Crozer (?) and daughter, Dr Wister and S. Butler called, Lizzie ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p104.jpg) In. spent the day & night, and R. Wetherill spent the afternoon. Just before bed-time (the babies bed-time I mean) Bessie and I went out and walked for half an hour or more. I feel rather better. —A. I. Wilcox sent T. L. K a haunch of venison—Mr Guillon sent some photographic preparation with a very polite note. I am writing before tea-time, feeling very shaky and oh, so miserable about the dangers my boy runs. However, I must "Trust in the Lord, & be of good courage." At the petition of Ch. Har. & Helen. 1st That if Mrs W. can be happy with W. & S. in the house, we are all willing to live in 16th St. IInd That if Mrs. W. cannot be happy with Mr. & Mrs Walter in the house, the income be divided, & we girls live as near as possible to Papa, in a house with W. & S. at the head of it. 49 We all infinitely prefer the second plan — Papa's three sisters & Bessie & Tom approve of it. We wish to make the experiment this summer in a small house near Orange. If there was no remedy we would not tell how ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p105.jpg) unhappy we are at home, but there is a remedy. The girls are afraid of a recurrence of those scenes which happened last year, when Papa tried to make peace. This constant reasonable fear is very bad for their nerves. They are now stronger than Charlotte, but a few years, or less, of this life would have the same effect on them as on her. If we live together, we would be constantly taking tea at Papa's house, dropping in to see the family etc, etc, — Harriet & Helen are too young & inexperienced to be without the supervision of one of their sisters, Bessie, Charlotte or Sabina. Papa's sisters, Aunts Mary, Anna, & Eliza approve of the second plan - as well as Bessie & Tom — We think Papa — (as well as the girls) would be happier if there were no conflicting parties, no "jars & frets" of housekeeping details &c — Papa's children wd not desert him but be very near, & rallying round to cheer him. &c &. Signed after three readings by Charlotte Harriet Helen. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p106.jpg) Friday March 19. Yesterday I went to town for Mother, to hunt up a cook, came back worn out, and after of dose of medicine went to bed as soon as J. Nelly came up from tea. Today I minded the babies, walked, and meant to photo- -graph, but the girls won't let me. I finished an oil cloth cover for my sewing machine, and made some lace. On Monday I must begin to study again. I'll write of that on Sunday. Pat and Mr Wharton out to tea. He, Mr. W, is on the point of being engaged to a dowdy little Miss Brinley. I have been counting up the days till Tom can possibly return. His earliest possible time is, I fancy, about the l7th of May. I shall count up the days for that, as I must have some date to which I can look forward with hope. Saturday, March 20. Charlotte and Bess both went to town., the latter to her House of Refuge. She came out looking very sad, poor child. I was very busy, as it was cleaning day for Jane, as well as soiled clothes mending day for me. There is one comfort in having only one nurse, I have no time to spend in bemoaning myself. I have read no regular book this month. This won't do, Mrs K. ~ After dinner (Mr. Heazlitt dined here) Bess and I walked to Branchtown. I took a loaded cane with me as it is dangerous now to walk we feel, since the dreadful outrage yesterday, in our own vicinity. Sewed, and read in the evening. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p107.jpg) 50 Sunday, March 21st A drizzling rain all morning prevent -ing poor Mother from going to town as she meant to do this Communion Sunday. I stayed at home with her, and read three sermons of Dean Trench's, one of them especially good, on "Christ, the Lamb of God." It was a dif- -ferent, and far pleasanter (to me) style of thought from one which I read of Robertson's on Vicarious Sacrifice. Mother was reading it today, and I asked her to read French's afterwards. I wrote a long screed to Johnny, and then read a Review of the "Testimony of the Rocks." Dinner was now ready, after which I wrote to Papa. It was now a sunny balmy afternoon so Bessie and I strolled out, then we took little Harry, and after a while Bess went off after Pat, so that I had for the first time a real stroll, -like those I have often imagined myself taking, in "the all-golden afternoon" with my little daughter. But my dreams always included my darling's presence. Sweetest friend, where are you? How I follow you in fancy. Oh when will your work be over? Has any intuition warned you to hurry home to our desolate hearth, desolated a whole month ago. —Little Harry just now brought in her wicker arm-chair and sitting down at Pat's knee, crooned in her tuneless soft sweet voice, "I want to be a angel, And with the angels stand, A crown upon my forehead A harp within my hand." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p108.jpg) th[--] like Pep & [-]ois Dear little girlie, she has a wonderful memory! She knows all the Nursery Rhymes, all her story books, and two verses of the "Happy Homes of England." It is very pretty to see Elisha's enthusiastic love for her. He is perpetually tottering to her to kiss her, or to hug her. Me too he dearly loves. How sweet it is to have him clasp his soft arms round my neck, or lay his golden head on my bosom, or hold his little red mouth up to be kissed. Thank God for my children, and their dear, dear father. —I hope he is ready to leave Salt Lake City now.— It seems as if the idea of seeing him again was one of too great happiness to in- -dulge in. Oh what a comfort his love is!— I passed an hour or so with Bessie this evening. We leaned out of her father's window, watching the moonlight, and the shimmering stars, as they shone a month ago. (May 22. Letter from J. S. K. dated March 24. "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away. (51) Blessed be the name of the Lord." Thursday May 25th. Baby 16 months old; a blue-eyed golden -locked little tottering fellow, the merriest, loving little crea- -ture in the world. I have been too busy to write this week. Dear Tot was with us, so we walked every morning then I worked at my photography, till 12 M. Then I took charge of the children till 1. crocheting mean- -tim. (I have been making lace for Harry's pink ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p109.jpg) * frock.) After that I dressed, and worked at the machine till dinner. After dinner sewed, and walked till it was the children's bed time, then crochid again while I minded them, then worked at something or other till bed-time. Last night Pat took the estimate I made of the expenses of Fern Rock last year, and went over them with me, He agreed that Mother should have $200 a month for housekeeping. -I am sorry to say that at present only $50 comes from the estate's income. Today and yesterday I tried to resume my Spanish. I wish I could find some employment for dear, dear Tom. * Friday. Walked with Bess past Rensselaer, and hurt her feelings. She said she felt so sad whenever she passed by, etc. Said I, "If I felt so, I would walk by every day till I could go by without pain." No, she replied, there are too many sad and holy associa- -tions that I am unwilling to break. Well, I said, I think our lives are too full of real, great griefs, for it to be right to indulge in a grief of sentiment. Millie's death was a very real grief, said Bess in a deeply hurt tone. I hastened to tell her that I did not mean Millie's death as a grief of sentiment, but the idea of never ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p110.jpg) willingly passing In one of the only two directions our lane has because you once lived and were happy there. However, I did no good, that time, so I resolved to see if there was no beam in my own eye about 11th st or the La Pierre House? Saturday. 27th March. "The Moses Taylor" came in yesterday, so I asked J.P.G. * to send me out letters if there were any by the ten o'clock train. I was so excited that I could scarcely talk, hoping that there might be a letter for us from Tom. I fancied that he surely would write to us from California, and that a letter delayed too long to reach us by last steamer would come by this. However, I studied my Spanish while I minded the children, and then walked to Roser's and back before the train came. Then I went to meet it, and the conductor gave me a letter. Only from Antony! He had no direct news, but had seen a gentleman who saw Tom off from S. Bernardino. He said there was the most intense excitement felt, and that a single hour's delay would have stopped him, they coming then to arrest him. He sent two newspaper slips, saying much the same thing. My God, take care of 52 my husband! How I miss dear father now to comfort me. Oh Tom, my own one, I could cry when I think that so many weeks must separate us, and so many * I. John P. Greene ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p111.jpg) years may! x Jane Nelly After I wrote this I set to work, as it was mending day, and worked off my forebodings, and after dinner took a stroll over the place with Bess and Harry. After tea, I had to sit upstairs at my sewing till half-past-eight as J. N. had washing to do. Then I came down, and read aloud to Mother, and sewed till bed time when I read prayers. I read now, instead of Father. Pat has come in regularly and followed with his Latin Prayer Book. Last night however, there was a remark made by Mother, that Miss Betsy had asked her if she did not think it right to kneel. This brought on a discussion in wh. Bess made some ultra Presbyterian announce- -ment which brought from Pat a declaration that he would no longer come. Sunday 28th. March. Jane Nelly's Sunday out, Mother and Bess gone to town. I undertook the children's care with plenty of good resolutions, and got on splendidly. Sashy went to sleep, and I contrived to read two sermons, two chapters of the Spanish tes- -tament, and write a short letter to Papa. Then I played with them cheerfully and they were very manageable. What a contrast to the 4th March! It is a very good lesson to me not to despair at the black-a-vised look of a duty. I was pleased to discover that Sash has cut two more ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p112.jpg) x House of Refuge back teeth making fourteen. Of course, the pair belong- -ing to the two last upper teeth will soon follow in the lower gum. Then he has only four more to cut. He electrified me today by climbing first on a chair, then on its back, and then on Grandmamma's high bed. Pretty well for 16 months! May God preserve my little ones to see their father in health. After dinner J.P.G. and I walked to Oak Lane to church, but after waiting over half an hour no minister making his appearance, we sang a hymn and came home. We found Mother entertaining Willy Wister who stayed to tea. Mother looked ghastly, she was overcome by the exertion and the emotion of going to church for the first time. Bessie says Tom would be so gratified if he could see the pleasant, interested faces of the lady-teachers at the x H.R.S. School. She was so pleased herself! Poor Morton has been drunk again.— I just write these stupid lines because I am too dull to put down all the many thoughts I have had today. I think I am dead! I seem crushed down too much to feel any more, I worried about Tom a great deal today. What occupation is there for him? It seems impossible to turn Struthers out. Then he could write on several ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p113.jpg) subjects, but we know his health won't stand that. Then he cannot practise as a lawyer, then he cannot, Yes, but I must remember, that as Tom gave up his employment for Christ's sake. He will take care 53 of him. Help me to trust my precious husband to Thee in everything, and help me to do whatever I can for him, and what I cannot do, let me ask of Thee, knowing that Thou wilt withhold no good thing from those that ask in faith, nothing wavering. "Oh rest in the Lord, wait patiently for him, and he shall give thee thy heart's desire." How I long for Tom! Oh to lay my head once more on his dear shoulder! My friend, my own friend! — I am trying very hard to get strong, taking a bath every day now that the weather is milder, and they say I look infinitely better. Certainly, I feel so, thank God! "And is she happy? Does she feel unmoved The days in which she might-have lived & loved, Slip without bringing bliss slowly away, One after one, tomorrow like today?" Monday March 30. Quite an exciting day. Expecting a letter from Johnny, Bessie and I could hardly keep still. We walked to Branchtown for some seed. I wanted for the children at Grubtown. Then I was busy photo- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p114.jpg) on and off all day. I want to get a first rate picture of the valley, Tom's favorite view. Johnny's letter came at last. He will be here on Wednesday! Pat brought out three beautiful photographs dear Father sat for only a week or two before he was taken sick. Little Harry came in and blushed with pleasure as she always does when extremely gratified crying "That's my dear Grandfarrer who calls me Toodle -waddle.'’ The expression of the picture was precisely the one he wore when saying that. Tuesday, March 30th. Busy all day with different things. First I photographed, then I went for Mother to German -town and then I walked about the place all the afternoon looking out the right lights for my views. I preserve far too many of my poor efforts, and I wish very much to make some really good pic- -tures. So I shall try these views over again I think. They are better than any I have yet done, but one has a defective corner, and another a scratch or two. I must make a memorandum of certain views I wish to take. Hill view, from the garden 5 P.M. House from the mouth of Chante Pleurs ½ past 11 A.M. Valley views about 1 P.M. View of Turnpike Bridge as early as possible View of Garden Bridge mid-day, or 4 P.M View of Gate 10 to 11 A.M. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p115.jpg) * 54 I am in a very bad humour tonight, feeling very cross with — never mind, I can hold my pen, at least. I made up my mind to give up my projected journey to meet Tom when we hear of his arrival at St Louis. Pat loves him very dearly and the brothers must wish to have some solitary talks. Both are too kindhearted to ask me to go away, and if I suspected they wanted to talk and took myself off. I should mope in my hotel room and be jealous maybe. [written from bottom to top on lefthand side] poor woman Ah me, I wonder if he loves me as I love him. I used to think he did, but time seems to say to me — ”Stupid, pale fool, how dare you arro- -gate to yourself his love pre-eminently?" I know how he loves his family, and when I think how few associations he has with me, I wonder how he loves me at all. I am just like an old worsted glove. He has the habit of wearing me in his winter days and feels comfortable with me, rather shrinking from trying on fresh new gloves. But when forced to take me off, will not his thoughts revert to the bright fresh kid glove days of operas, and beauty, and gaiety, and feel a repugnance to his shabby old worsted rag! * My dear Arab, he did try to stay by me! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p116.jpg) X which Miss Fox? Wednesday March 31st. No photographing today. Mother asked me to be ready to see company as she was having her hair dyed. Old Mr Fisher of Wake- -field came first. He sent the kindest messages to "Thomas." Then came Willie Moss, Mary Leiper and lastly Miss Fox.* I had a little time to work at the wheel. At dinner time came out word that John had arrived in New York. He came here by the 5 P.M. train. It was a "thankful "meeting. Joyous it could not be, but then it was such a relief to them to have him back. — I missed Tom. I dreamed at night that I was sobbing for him, a choking tearless sob, that finally woke me. Oh my poor darling too soon you will hear the news. May God preserve you and strengthen you to bear it like a Christian. Thursday April 1st. At last I can say — "Next month "I may see him." Oh for next month! Johnny has brought me some beautiful photo- -graphs. Madonnas all of them. Johnny is just like himself, no whit changed. Poor old Dr Mitchell is very ill. I at last succeeded in obtaining what I hope is a very good picture of our valley. I had but little time however as Aunt Ann ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p117.jpg) arrived to spend the day. I sewed a good deal, and mixed some solutions On Friday I took a picture of Fern Rock. As it was cleaning day I had not much time, and so I did not get a perfect picture. I saved a good deal and in the evening read Sir John Maunde- -ville aloud. 55 Saturday April 3rd. Meant to print the two views I took last week, and, rising early prepared my solutions. At breakfast time I grew giddy and as soon as Jane had finished her work, and could take the children, I went to bed with a violent sick headache. There I stayed all day. Rose in the evening, and sewed violently just to occupy myself, as I felt intensely sad. About this time my poor Tom must receive the tidings. And I am far from him! Oh my darling, may Our Father send the Comforter to bring all those sweet words of Our Saviour's to your remembrance as He promised when He was here. Sunday April 4th. Johnny orders iron for me, as my pulse is feeble. He and Bess have gone to town, he to see if he can do anything for Dr Mitchell who is still alive, Bessie to go there and to her House of Refuge School also. I wrote to Walter and to Charlotte this morning, and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p118.jpg) * Easter 1858 skimmed through a Life of Bishop White. I went to church in the afternoon with Johnny Green and came round by Milestown home. As we passed those solemn pine-trees at the old De Benneville homestead the air was scented at with the sweet white violets that were peeping everywhere from the brown carpet of fallen pine-needles. After the children went to sleep I sat by them as the orange faded from the sky, and then I knelt down to pray to Our Saviour for my poor husband. * It is Easter Sunday. Eighteen hundred years ago Christ ended his agony, and took on Him the glorified body that some day we shall wear too. But in His happiness He does not forget us sorrowing and toiling after him through our painful lives. What would we do without His sustaining love. Oh my poor friend, it was for no selfish reason that you left us, to part forever in this life perhaps, but for His sake, and He will not abandon you. While I prayed for you thinking of dear Father I was able to cry a little, the first time since you left, but it has given me a pain in my heart. It is not the relief I fancied it would be. Then the ghastly November days rose again before. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p119.jpg) * What to do for a living now? JKK is dead me and to drive them away. I began to think of my great puzzle. What can* Tom do? "Bonum est confidere in Domino, quam confidere in homine: bonum est speraie in Domino, quam sperare in princibus." That was the result, as it always is, of all my musings. I have asked myslef— "If, I have dissuaded Tom from a political career, so that now all avenues to political preferment are shut against him— do I feel that I have done wrong, am I sorry?" And I am sure that I can say "No!" I like Tom to love his country, I am grateful to the God who gave him strength for rights' sake to give up his commissionership, and for Christ's sake, and his country's welfare to go forth (56) without the camp bearing His reproach. My darling, people call you a Mormon, as in the old time they called our Master Publican and Sinner. If ye do well and suffer for it, happy are ye. Little care I for what the world igno- -rantly says. I know my husband, and he has called me "wife and equal." I care for no earthly honour so highly as to be the wife and chosen friend of him whom I most ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p120.jpg) Politics most respect.? But I never could bear him to mix in party politics – vile they are, ?and I know he feels them so – and I did what I could to keep him? from them, for his health's sake, physical and moral. Well, if I ?could choose now I would do it again. The tempt- -ations must be strong with so impulsive a nature as his, with some intensely longed for object in view to grasp it though dragged through mire. No, no Tom. Since He whose servants we are, said Marriage is holy, we can be Sir Galahad and St Agnes, and we will leave an unspotted name to? our children, if we must live on bread and water. – Do not let us think of an office as a reward from Buchanan for your work. You did ?not undertake it for that, and even if he would give you one, what is there he could give that you would want? A consulship? Nothing that would carry you away from your old mother would you like at all. Were the clerkship to be given for life, and in the President's power to give, it would be a great thing. Well, if God means you to have it, he will give it. He will take care of us. I meant to write longer but Johnny says I must stop now. — I open the book again finding it only ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p121.jpg) nine o'clock. — Barring <*which?> political places out, I see nothing for Tom save authorship, ?a wearing life. But by writing a little now and then we may keep afloat till he has time to fix on something. Meanwhile the question for me is Can I do anything? Nothing except trust in God. Amen! Monday April 5th. Aunt Patterson and Uncle William last night, Aunt Patterson and Johnny twice today, renewed the old sad disputes.* Johnny was for once, poor boy, more sinned against than sinning. But it was very sad to begin them again. I hope the house will be at peace when my darling returns. Printed 14 or 15 pictures. My valley view is very pretty, but the other, of the Rock, is very defective. I also sewed a good deal. Little Harry went to Branchtown and back besides trotting about the place all day, a long walk for her. Bessie came out in the evening train. Dr Mitchell died last night very tranquilly, having his senses to the last. John M. Scott died in the morning, and Mr Shippen. Sad changes for Tom! I treated myself to a re-perusal of some of my darling's letters before we were married. It was very sad and sweet. —He speaks ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p122.jpg) of his profession, and thinks he might earn some- -thing by drawing up Chancery pleadings. I wonder if he could do so now! I see the papers speak of appointing Commissioners for Utah. I trust Tom's duties there will not be prolonged! (57) Tuesday. <6> Mr Langenheim was to have come today but did not, I don't know why. I wonder I get no letter from Tot. Wednesday. <7> No Langenheim. Sewing nearly all day. I am so miserable, that I think my poor boy must be Thursday. <8> I went to town, today, to shop. First I sat with Bess while the dentist operated on her. Then we hunted about town for various things. Pat informed me that there was no living to be earned by Chancery pleadings Aunt Patterson talked all the evening. I heard from Tot. She is all right. Th Friday. <9> Raining hard, but before 12 at wh. hour I write was very (—here I was called off to mind the children, and resume on Sunday) hard at work. I took charge of the children for some time, then learnt a Spanish exercise lesson, read a chapter in the Spanish Testament, wrote out the verb "Acertar" and a Spanish exercise. Then I sewed the rest of the time. After one o'clock Bessie and I walked to Mitenger's, in an air that was more like May than April, the rain having cleared off beautifully. Robert Patterson, Uncle Bill, and George Taylor dined and spent the afternoon, Aunt Helen ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p123.jpg) going home with them. After tea I prepared some trial plates for tomorrow, and then read aloud till bed-time the first book of the Fairy Queene. Saturday. <10> Took care of the children while Jane swept & cleaned the rooms. My whole morning was given up to visitors. I tried to take those pictures but was unsuccessful in developing Either my gallic acid is spoilt or my solution was too weak. Bessie was in town, she went to spend Saturday and Sunday nights at Aunt Patterson's in order to go to the H. R. and to see the Howard Home. In the afternoon I read a little on the Diseases of Children, and strolled about with the children. In the evening I finished some children's frocks I have been making. Pat is very furious about this appointing of Commissioners to Utah, to take all the wind out of Tom's sails. I can't say I care, except in so far as it may influence his return. These spring days, always en- -joyed with him, make me so sad. Strangely enough I pass over all the happy Fern Rock springs to dwell on my Gerard street spring days, when my heart was lonely too. I had him then but not his children, his! dear little creatures, how I longed for them! And now how far the reality of the blessing exceeds its imagination. I quench my restless loneliness with them, When I grow so sad that I cannot stay in his room, or anywhere that I have associated with him, I wander over ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p124.jpg) to their room, and say to myself– "Here are his own children. How dearly I should love to be with them if they were his, no matter whom the mother. But they are mine too— only his, and mine. And he left them in my charge, because I am his wife and his dearest friend. The very thought tranquillizes me, and then their love and caresses warm my heart. I am happier now, with all my troubles than I was in Girard Street, though I loved those days too. But real duties, and real responsibilities give me less time to indulge in vague yearnings after some impossible happiness, and in the lonely envyings of the women I saw with children about their knees. Miss my husband? Ah yes, but I know only too well that I cannot watch at the window to see him come, and therefore I dare not indulge myself in a musing dreamy longing for him. I work it off, and pray God to help me to keep up. I dare not be "blue." I dread twilight. I can no longer work, for Mother's economical mind enjoys "blind man's holiday" and I am left to — rest! Bessie says she loves it. She sits and sings hymns, and cries quietly, and dreams. She says it is a comfort, and so does Tot. I know how Tom felt, he dared not write lovingly to me. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p125.jpg) Sunday. <11> Jane's Sunday out. The children in my charge all the morning. Mother says, she, and most ladies had, and have, to keep their children the whole of Monday and Tuesday. I am thankful that I don't have that yet. It is very fatiguing! This sounds absurd after my declaration about the blessing I find the children, but I don't mean to retract either statement. The two sides of the shield! ~ Little Harry said something to me, which I record for Tom as it was certainly genuine affection, and odd as its form was it was evidently undic- -tated. Holding a clean handkerchief of his in her little hand, she came to me, saying, "Look, Mo’r, here’s a handkerchief of Tommige's, don't you wish he was here to blow his dear nose wiz it!" ~ I write again this afternoon or rather evening because I know Tom likes me to write down my moods, and it's the only way of letting him see my life without him. I have been reading some sermons today; one on the Sabbath, the other on the text— "But this one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, I press towards the mark." This is a favorite text of mine so I was interested in the sermon, especially in the (outside) (one) the book which I read afterwards. I am very much inclined, sometimes, to look back ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p126.jpg) and long for my old innocent-ignorant days, when I trod a beaten path with a fence on either side. Now I have to choose between fighting my way through the thorns or — well, (5) I don’t know that the other way is easier after all. But I used, for instance, to go twice a Sunday to church, to believe all clergymen right reverend, and all they said worthy of implicit credence, to think Sunday a day to be very rigidly kept, "Sabbath- -breakers" lost, or nearly so, and to have a slight horror of all but Protestant Christians. Well, when I married my ideas were far stricter than Bessie's; now I feel that five years have placed us far apart, but in the opposite direction. I used to have a somewhat similar feeling to the Merman's wife "She sighed, she looked up through the clear green sea, She said, I must go, for my kinsfolk pray In the little gray church on the shore, today, 'Twill be Easter Eve in the world, oh me, And I lose my poor soul, Merman, here with thee.” (dear Tom, I quoted that laughingly lately, and he winced, and I remembered that I once had somewhat of the feeling.) Mother's speech the other day, and often other things show me that those who still hold, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p127.jpg) what I once held, look upon me as a back- -slider. It is very painful, I hope it is not so. (At least let it make me more charitable in my thoughts of others. What a number of petty persecutions I must have inflicted uncon- -sciously on Tom!) But is it true? Time has made my feeling more charitable to others faith — I do not think my own less strong. I go, circumstances having so ordered it, very seldom to church. Now, how about that? Charlotte and Bess were walking together, and, speaking of the support and comfort they derived from the church services, they said to me that they thought I was stronger than they, I did not seem to need it. Well, that was all. But I felt as if they implied a little reproach, and I want to search my heart and know if my conscience pricked a little. Oh, if my darling Father Confessor were here, but he isn't, so I must try for myself. I have had the excuses of feeble health, unwillingness to use horses as Tom and I both disapproved, and also that I should deprive some one of a seat in the carriage. Have I not been glad of the excuses? I confess that. Still, I know that in town I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p128.jpg) really loved to go on Sundays to Dr Mortons though it was pain to both of us to part at the door, but I understood the sermons, and sang with my heart if not my lips, and prayed with all my soul for my darling. And now my most restful hours are those when I go quietly to or little school-house through the balmy Sunday afternoons. It does me good to pray with my fellows. I really believe I enjoy it more than I did in old times. Yes, I am sure I would value the chance if I had it of dropping in every Sunday, and some- -times through the week at my old place in Dr. Morton's. When my darling is here I have had him to read with me, and I felt as if the commandment "Forsake not the assembling of your- -selves together" applied most especially to the communion of husband and wife. Ah how blessed a thing to know that if we are spared to meet again, our readings together will hence- -forward be of Christians, brethren in Christ! If my strength holds I will try to read in the (60) morning with him, and in the afternoon when he takes his nap, I will go over to the church. Maybe my darling will walk over to meet me. How sweet a stroll home we might ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p129.jpg) have! ~ That's not apropos of the question whether I am a black sheep or not. I hope I'm not. ~ My hateful neuralgia has come on again I must leave off. Monday. <12> <11?> Pouring rain. Studied Spanish, sewed, minded the children. The papers say that two Commissioners for Utah actually start today. It is to say the least, singular behavior on Mr. Buchanan's part. I hope it may be satisfactorily explained, but it seems to place Tom in a very unpleasant posi- -tion. It makes me very anxious. Margaret Jones writes me that her sister Serena is married. Tuesday. <13> Wrote a long letter to Maggie Jones, studied Spanish, walked through the "misty moisty morning" read to myself, and to Bessie sewed in the machine, and so forth. Pat came out very indignant with the Commis- -sioner's appointment. <14> Wednesday 13.th April. Went to town in the morning with Pat, and straight to the office, ho- -ping for some news of Tom. The mail had not arrived, so I trotted off to execute my various commissions. First to Macallister's for Mother's spec- -tacles. There they stopped me to show me some beautiful stereoscopic views, of which I bought one. Then to Langenheim's, then to the Dunlap's, as poor ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p130.jpg) Julia is ill. They are taking her South. Then to the Mitchell's. Saw Lizzie looking wretchedly She has not left the house since her Father's sick- -ness, so I told her she must come with me. She begged hard to be let off, but I made her come, and then she walked, and walked till I was ready to drop. Out 11th to Pine, Pine to Broad, Broad to Prime Prime to 10th, 10th to Spruce to 11th, and so home. Then I could not find an omnibus going my way as I had to shop, and to go to Aunt Patter- -son's. At last I found my way to Pat's office tired out. Letters from Tom! In high spirits within hail of Salt Lake City. He probably reached there the day his father died. X There is a letter in cipher to make out, and one to Mr Heazlitt. The passenger cars detained me at Chatham Street, I missed my N.P.R R train and had to come back to Pat's office sick with fatigue and headache. I stopped and bought an Eyre and Spottiswoode Bible as J. Picket's is not pre- -cisely similar to Tom's, but they had none of the same edition. (61) From Pat's I went to get an oyster wh. revived me for a little, but I could not bear the noise of the passenger R.R., so I went on foot ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p131.jpg) to Front and Willow. I reached home really sick with one of my worst headaches. I had walked over 5 miles, no trifle for me, besides my journeys in the cars. I slept till tea-time, and felt a little better so I worked till ten vainly trying to make out that cipher. Both Bibles wrong. Thursday April 15. Rose early, heard that Johnny had worked 4 hours at the cipher. I had made out one word, he none. I worked till the eleven o'clock train came with Langenheim. I had to go off with him then, and we took pictures of the valley, Harry, and a copy of a picture, to get good time. After dinner, though I felt pretty shaky I set to work, again, and worked only stop- -ping to swallow my tea till half past ten. This made me dream of the cipher and made me wake often too with frag- -ments of words tormenting me. Friday. Rising very early I finished my cipher by nine, and John took it in to Pat. It was very puzzling. The Bibles gave no help, and Tom made many mistakes. I felt as if I had been dreaming so absorbed was I in my calculations. I was determined ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p132.jpg) x Col. Tom's had a great desire for romantic, curious mystery, secrecy symbols and ciphers Here shown to have no great practical value by young wife to make it out. Took a little walk in the rain, wrote diary. studied Spanish, and before dinner examined the cipher which Mr Heazlitt sent me. As it was undated and I had no Bible Tom will know that I had a task of some difficulty. To show however that the x cipher is not likely to prove any puzzle to a good decipherer, even I, with all my ignorance, made it all out by bedtime. I suppose it must link into parts of Mr Heazlitt's letter as it is too unconnected for a message. It makes me so happy to be able to do anything for Tom. Saturday April 17. Yesterday Bess and I strolled out on the piazza at twilight, while I could not work. She spoke of Lizzie's sadness and her fears that she would not take her trouble rightly. This led her to speak of herself. She said she felt as if all the gayety and joy had gone out of her life with her father, that she saw the Butlers, Cadwaladers etc enjoying life, and she felt a sort of benevolent grandmotherly interest in them, but no youthfulness. I was just on the point of saying—Well, but you are growing older. when it struck me that it would give her good cause to say again, poor girl, that I sometimes make myself so hard, and "cornery" when she comes to lean on me for sympathy. So I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p133.jpg) just said I had always felt old, and then Bess said what I know would gratify Tom that her great comfort and joy lay in the House of Refuge. What a lovely place Fern Rock is! As we x paced the terrace there was such a sweet sound of falling waters, and the last tones of the sunset crimsons and purples were so harmonized with the maple buds, and the purplish gray woods, while there were soft green grass, and yellow green willows, and brilliant wheatfields that with the steel like gleam of Rock Run here and there, made up the lights of the picture. "Sweet spots for childhood's opening bloom, For sportive youth to stray in, For manhood to enjoy its prime, And age to wear away in!" I hope we may be able to live here long! ~ Today I feel so weary that I haven't energy to do anything particular. I minded the children awhile, studied Spanish, walked a little, sewed a little, I cut out photographs a little. Johnny says I must take Cod Liver Oil. I think I will. I should so like to look better when Tom sees me. Dear Pat came out in the 2 P.M. train. He ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p134.jpg) T.LK. did not want Pat's efforts to help. *Buchanan's fussy footing brought me out sundry newspaper slips. The Peace Commissioners have actually reached St Louis! Pat has had paragraphs, and Letters from Cal- -ifornia inserted in the papers mentioning Tom's mission, to take the wind out of their sails. Tomorrow he goes to Canandaigua to see if there is anything to do about old Mr Greig's will, and as he passes through New York he will see and talk with Mr Dana of the Tribune. Then he thinks of going on to Washington, and getting Buchanan to appoint Tom one of the Commissioners at least so that his expenses may be defrayed by Government. He and Mrssrs Plitt and Forney think Mr B. has behaved badly. His exceedingly non-committal letters are, they say, "Buck all over, so that if Mr K. succeeds, he may approve him, if he fails desavow him." * I hope Tom will have succeeded in making peace before the Commissioners get out of there. (I hope it isn't unchristian to wish that!) If they do get out I hope they will not be empowered to revoke Tom's arrangements. I hope Mr Buchanan is not going to uphold Tom! I see a frightful possibility Suppose poor Young & H C Kimball give them- -selves up on the faith of Tom's word, and then Buchanan refuses to sustain him? ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p135.jpg) My God, help Tom to act wisely! Johnny insisted on my going over to German- -town with him this afternoon. The ride did me good as I felt sick and headachey. He is getting Frank into better order again. Bess is away in town today so as to teach at the H. R. today and tomorrow. 63 Sunday 18th April. I have caught a violent cold which makes me feel very dull. Mother and I went together to the Baptist church. I prayed that today might be a holy pleasant Sunday and that I might get some good out of the services. To my surprise and delight I heard one of the best sermons I have listened to for a long time. It was admirably suited to the congregation, and helped me too. The text was "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." I preached myself a good sermon afterwards on the same text. I hope I'll profit, as well as preach! We dined early to let Pat and John dine before J. drove his brother to town to reach the N.Y. cars. — Dear wee Harry brought me a bouquet of wild flowers she gathered in the meadow. — I felt so good for nothing ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p136.jpg) with my cold, that I lay down in the * after- -noon. I re-perused a number of the letters Tom and I interchanged before we married. Mine are very childish, but I do not think either of us have cause to blush for them. But ah me, how little I have done to fulfil the course Tom marked out for me. "Evangeline," and "Christian Lady in Society." Ah no, no! How far from it! But my darling how nobly he acts out his life, God bless him, my true love and Red Cross Knight. I canonise him in my very heart of hearts. I wrote a letter to Walter this afternoon urging* him not to go away from N. Y. as he purposes. I think his duty - as son and brother ought to keep him here. Would to God I were as clear sighted about my own duties as I am about other people's! Monday April 19. Johnny did not return till very late last night. This morning he tells of a most interesting visit to Mr Plitt who is, he says, not only not working for <–to take> Tom's place but urgent that he should have it. If Mr Cadawalader's appointment be delayed until tomorrow, he thinks he can prevent it and get Mr Sharswood in, and Tom as his clerk. He says the Commissionership is a bad thing. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p137.jpg) 1858 * As I felt very much disinclined to do anything this dull rainy day. I forced myself to work for an hour and a half at my Spanish, and then to sew till dinner time. Bessie came out of town and I read aloud T. Tennyson's Poems to her, and so passed the day. Tuesday April 20. John Cadwalader is appointed. No chance for Tom there. Poor Dudley Tyng is dead. His arm had to be amputated (it was mashed in some machinery) and during the operation his poor wife held his head. It was all in vain, and he leaves six little children, poor fellow. X—The papers also mention that a courier passed through St. Louis two weeks before the Peace Commissioners with orders to Col. Johnston to delay proceedings till they reach him. I wish Tom may have settled everything before they get there! 64 Studied, sewed, and read aloud. — Johnny brings out word that Mr Plitt wants, to show the President Tom's letter to his father. So we were busy all the evening, as Pat has taken it away, putting together what I remembered of it, and the cipher letter. Up twice in the night with Sashy, who seemed croupy. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p138.jpg) * Wednesday April 21st I am sure my darling thinks of me today, for it is our wedding-day. Five years ago God gave him to me. May He bless him! How good he has been to me. Oh, I hope I may be a better wife to him when he comes back. My own darling husband! The papers have a mention that a courier passed. through St. Louis on Sunday night with despatches from Col. Johnston which have not yet transpired I hope this may prove to be the first news of Tom from this side. The Press has a letter from Washington signed Observer, (Mr Plitt's work, I suppose), which mentions that probably Col. Kane who went out via the California line on a peace mission is accredited to his old friend B. Y. Thus the army will have emissaries of peace on both sides. John says that Mr Plitt tells him that Buchanan often asks for the latest news from "our friend Kane." — I do not believe all the boys can live at home. There must always be one master, or head of the house. Thursday. 22nd I learned no lessons either yesterday or today as Lizzie was here yesterday, and Miss B. Snyder, both days. So I had to sew and read aloud. I have been wearying for news from Tom. I am almost at the end of my slender stock of fortitude! So long a time ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p139.jpg) elapses between the time he writes, and the time he I receives. I am just miserable. How I long for him! —I am taking some medicine Johnny pre- -scribed, Phospatic Syrup. He says it will make me strong and fat too. I must get some strength to help bear up poor Tom. I wish I had put G. Sand's novels away. Johnny spends day after day poring over them instead of working. Friday 23rd. No news yet! Well, a California steamer is due on Tuesday. I shall have letters then perhaps, but even then I cannot hope to hear of the time he will return. Dear, dear Tom, how I long for you. — It is cleaning day so I have been nursery maid till now, half past eleven. Both babies are sleeping 65 but they have some curious eruption on them wh. Johnny does not recognise. If they are not well by night I am to give them magnesia. Wrote to Charlotte, and to Denny & Duncan by today's mail. — I had written thus far when Bess came to say that Mr Charles Wister (Red headed man) wished to see me. I found he had just begun photographing and was anxious for information. So I talked during his visit steadily on photography. Then Bess & I walked to Branchtown, and then I dressed for dinner. Pat came out looking rather better for his trip to New York. He says that after all ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p140.jpg) * he would not be surprised by Mr Cadwalader's offering the place of Clerk to Tom. He says that it seems almost absurd to relate the events of two or three days, matters change so. Mr Plitt, he thinks now, has five or six games on hand. He tried to arrange that he should have the Clerkship if Cadwalader got the Judgeship. Failing in it, he found a fatter place for which he is trying. At the same time he wants to interfere with Cadwalader's confirmation so that he may have a chance with Sharswood should he not gain the "fatter place." At the same time he will try to urge the giving of a Commissionership to Tom, as it would wipe off his obligations. Pat is as sweet and kind as ever. He is worthy to be Tom's brother. I had a nice long letter from Papa describing his delightful Niagara visit, and telling me very good news, namely that he has resigned his salary of £1000 as Acting Manager, and only keeps his shares like Jno & Alex Dennistown. This he says, "Chiefly owing to a letter you wrote me some time ago." There is also a delightful letter from Charlotte This evening as Jane was busy downstairs about some of her oratorical performances I had time to study my Spanish for about an hour. Then I came down and read aloud ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p141.jpg) to Bessie till bed-time. *Sunfury & Erie RR. legislation Saturday 24th April. No news yet! Bessie gone to town. — I minded the babies, and then went over to my shed where I tried to copy one of the Judge's photographs, not very successfully. My time was good enough—40 to 45 seconds— but those incom- -prehensible branched stains are over them all. After dinner read the new number of the Virginians After tea sewed. Slept with Mother. Pat says old Judge Wilcox will be here tomorrow. Sunday April 23th Minded babies till ten, when Judge Wilcox arrived to spend the day. He seemed delighted to see us and was in the greatest glee about the passage of the S. & E. 66 R. R. bill.* He warmly urges our coming to spend two or three months, as he says they talk of following Tom's route, and he ought to see its location. Ah me, I wish we could go. Not only on account of the extra health and happiness, but, I was so mortified by Tom's going off leaving his routes unexplained. I daresay it was just as well to punish me for my pride, but I was so very proud of his engineering, though he didn't know it. I could not resist dreaming over a sweet quiet summer at Elk County, without hurries and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p142.jpg) our overwork. I fancied our riding together, walking together, working together, I acting as his amanu- -ensis—it was very pleasant. Mother said she wished we would settle these, and then she would come quietly and end her days with us. It is not the first time she has so spoken. I daresay she would be quite happy there in a few years. I wish we could afford to go there this summer. Tom has no work yet, and if he writes for a time, better there than here. Then Johnny is obliged to be here all summer so that he would be less anxious about Mother. Mr Wilcox says that poor Mrs Burlingame is dead. I gave him a little ambrotype of Harry for his wife — A dull sermon at the School House. Wednesday April 28th. Monday at the dentist's, Mrs Humphreys and Aunt Patterson's. I heard of the sudden death of Col. Devonport. Mrs Humphreys has also just lost her sister. It seems as if one led a quiet uneventful life for years, suddenly a stone drops into the waters, and the ripple spreads, and spreads! How many people are mourning their friends! — Tuesday, Mother went to Philadelphia to see Mrs Devonport. Bess and I walked to Fisher's Lane, and then after dinner I read to Bess. Willie wrote me a very sweet letter. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p143.jpg) April 1858 Today, I called on Mrs Ingersoll, seved in the machine, learned, as I photographed with some success, and talked to S. Butler. A letter from Antony Osborn. No news from my own darling. Thursday Evening. God grant that our fancy that we sympathise in each other's trouble no matter how far severed, may be an absurd dream. What can have upset me so this evening? I am so sad I can scarce keep back my tears. Oh my God, my God, preserve my husband! —Perhaps he is sad about his dear Father of whom I have thought so much today. 67 Friday Morning. I had very sweet dreams of my darling's return. Would to God they might prove true! As usual, I waited impatiently for the newspaper, as usual returned disappointed. I hope I may possess my soul in patience. Yesterday I was provoked to find those pretty photographs I took lately, all peeled off. Bad varnish! Saturday. Yesterday was too warm to photograph. I therefore sewed, minded the babies, and ph entertained visitors. I wrote to Tot, and my day was gone— ah me, how slow they pass without Tom. I always expect news of him every day, and each day turns on the arrival of the ten a.m. and 5. P.M. trains by which newspapers come. There is no news, and I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p144.jpg) come back sick at heart. How long, how long! Yesterday it was said that that the U.S. Commissioners left Fort Leavenworth on the 25th for Utah. Harry was croupy last night. Today I sewed some time before breakfast, trimmed my lamp, wrote this and strolled about with my darlings before the ten o'clock train. Now I shall go down to meet the paper, and return sadly to my Spanish lesson. If it weren't so intensely warm I would photograph but I daren't risk a bilious fever, if we are to stay here all summer. I paid Jane's wages for the year ending May 1st $78 Sunday, May 2. Of course I was disappointed—No news! I sewed nearly all day, Johnny taking me a drive in the afternoon. I had a very sweet letter from Walter. Pat is too busy with the elections to come out of town just now, so I cannot hear whether Mr Plitt has done anything in the matter of the Commissionership. I wish Pat could contrive to go to Washington himself, and obtain it for Tom! We hear that Drs Jackson and Hare are dangerously ill of Pneumonia. This is Jane's Sunday out, and I am in charge. Elisha is asleep and as I am therefore freed from building toyhouses, I have been reading Isaiah in the darkened room till what with fatigue and "the slow clock ticking." I am very sleepy. — Sunday Evening. Read lots of sermons, and went to church. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p145.jpg) this afternoon. PI also went to church. Pat came out to tea with Mr Vandyke. He says Mr T. is really anxious to keep up Tom's name before that old rascal of a Buchanan. 68 Monday. Went to town did all my duty visits shopped and went to the dentists. Read to B. in the evening, and studied Spanish. Wrote to Walter & to Papa Tuesday. Made a sheet for Mother, sewed for the babies, walked with Bessie to Mrs Mears' and photographed the Rock, the Gate, Harry & Bessie before tea. No news, no news! — Read aloud to Bessie in the evening. Wednesday April 5. Meant to print my pictures but find it rainy. Sewed steadily in the early morning, finishing a pretty little basque for one of the children. Then, went over to my shed, swept it out, washed my glasses, arranged my shelves, and polished my scales. Came home minded the babies, cleaned half a dozen glass plates, and cut out a pattern for a frock. After dinner sewed on it. Am pleased to find my negatives compare well with Langenheim's. May they give pleasure to my darling! If I loved and worked for God's approbation as I do for his, how different I might be! I wish I knew how to sympathise fully with Bess I understand Mother so much better. Thursday Sewed a good deal, saw visitors, tried to photograph the bridge unsuccessfully. After tea let Jane Nelly go to a concert at the Baptist Church and sat by the chil- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p146.jpg) sewing till bedtime. Friday May 7. Poor Charles H. Fisher has lost his wife. She died last night of puerperal fever. It rained all day so I did not go out, but sewed all day. Jane had a two weeks wash to put out so that I took care of the babies from breakfast till bedtime, their bed- -time that is. In the evening helped Mother, who is house- -cleaning. I wish poor Bess could rouse herself to be useful to her! She helps me so readily when I ask her. Today was one I had marked for receiving news of Tom by way of Camp Scott. How my heart beat when I unfolded the paper and read the heading. "The Utah Mail." 69 It was only something about the establishment af a weekly mail to Utah. How great a disappointment it is I can scarcely say. My heart sickens to think how many dangers he runs. God bless and keep him safe. Saturday May 8. No news. Today I was busy printing my photographs which look very well. Not feeling well, and having a violent headache I went to bed after tea. Sunday. Jane at church. Took charge of the babies and wrote to Papa and Willie. I am reading a delightful book "Jaqueline Pascal– Convent Life at Port Royal." I have never been more interested in an novel than I am in this book. We so often feel that one great evil of a convential life must be that of having the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p147.jpg) thoughts turned so much to self-contemplation. This phrase struck me therefore "The nuns of Port Royal usually spent their conference hour in speaking of texts of scripture, or questions of conscience;—they never referred to their own personal feelings, views, or temptations, lest the sympathy of others should induce a craving for human praise." I can read myself a sermon on that text, and — ought this diary to stand or fall? Another chapter headed Parental Opposition con- -tains passages from some of Agnes Arnauld's letters which I should like to copy, had I time; they are so wise and Christian. Jaqueline herself does not please me. She is too hard, and too much a nun. The book speaks of Pascal's having "invented a new way of teaching persons to read, by subs- -tituting the pronunciation of letters syllables for that of letters." I thought it was a modern idea. —Evening. I have just finished Jaqueline's Life, and like her rather better. But it seems dreadful to think how much genius was buried in the napkin of Port Royal. We err too much in the little thought we give to God, and the little time we give to meditation and prayer. Her life so austere, so pure, so self denying, was over religious perhaps, but viewed side by side with ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p148.jpg) mine how worldly, selfish and unlovely mine is. Reading the Bible this evening how far off I seem from the apostles' directions. If I give my body to be burned, and have not charity—I am nothing. I, ah how uncharitable in word and deed, and worse in thought! "He that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" That would be so great a thing to remember, when I get so angry sometimes. God forgive me, and help me to do better. 70 I hope I shall be more sympathising with poor Bess, and not forget that she is just in the agony, and cannot be expected to be very reasonable. Poor Bess, I am sure I love her. Why can't I say so, and caress her as she loves to be? I wish Tom were here! He could pet her. I am very sad about Tom. His long silence, my uncertainty about his safety— can it be possible that God is testing my strength to bear the blow of parting from him all my life. My husband, my own hearts life, I could not, could not bear that. It is easy to talk of its being only for a few years, but one day would be like a thousand years without him. Everything I do or think is with reference to his coming. I try not to ob- -trude him into my conversation all the time but not very successfully I fear. Little Sashy, Harry and I talk about him all the time. They don't laugh at it, and I take an ever fresh delight in saying — "What will ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p149.jpg) * Age now 22 2 children you do when Papa comes?" Then Sashy claps his hands and Harry says "Kiss him, and say Oh dear Papa I'm glad to see you." (Said without any stops.) Wednesday Evening May 12th This is my 22nd birthday. If my dear one is alive I know he has thought often and tenderly of me today. I ought to have been ?making resolves for the future, and retrospects of the past years of my life, but all my thoughts are swallowed up in anxiety. The mail I looked for from Utah is in (the one by Camp Scott) bringing dates of March 3rd but with no mention of Tom. The most favorable supposition is that he has only been unsuccessful in the object of his mission. I have been so wrought up with anticipation lately that I hope I am now unnecessarily cast down. Yesterday I cried for hours like a coward. Now I drag on hour by hour longing for some news of my husband. I try to sew, and read aloud to Bess but it is very hard. Patience, patience, the steamer comes in tomorrow or Friday — then I must have some word of him. Let me school myself not to be disappointed if he appoints no time for his return. Poor Antony set my heart on fire by writing that by this steamer he "might send news of him if not himself." Himself, oh my husband my love, may God grant that I may once more see ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p150.jpg) you. My dear Tom! Thursday. Mother and Bess both gone to town this lovely day I had to give up the idea of photographing, as I was to be prepared to receive visitors. When the babies hour was over I went to Mr Butler's woods and took up a quantity of fern roots and carried them to Mrs. Ingersoll for her "rockwork." Then Miss Brewer, a nice young Boston girl who is staying there, returned with me and spent the morning till about one. After that I took charge of the children till dinner time letting them frolic in the meadow to their heart's content. After dinner I mounted some photographs. Read to Bessie in the evening. 21 Friday. Raining hard but went to town in hopes of some news of my dearest husband. A. Osborne writes to Pat that he has no letters, but encloses a newspaper slip saying how that he arrived in Salt Lake on the 25th of February, and after sundry interviews with Gov. Young left for Camp Scott. So far, thank God, he is safe! Returned in the ten A. M. train with a thankful heart. — Prepared two dry plates— failures— and sewed, Read the new number of the Virginians to Bess. Studied a Spanish lesson Saturday Took charge of the children till ½ past ten. The remainder of the morning photographed. [Obtained a good view of the house, developed with protosulphate of iron. Tried 10 sec. first. The time good for tree tops & sky but too short for house ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p151.jpg) Tried again 15 sec. Rather long for sky, and not quite enough for house. Poured silver strengthenes three times. If the result is as pretty in the positive as the negative is, I shall be glad. Oh my dear Tom if I can gratify you how proud your wifie will be. I took another, of the bridge, I am determined not to fail. Both yesterdays failures were attempts at it. This time I developed (for the first time since last spring) with pyro-gallic acid. It gives stronger blue-blacks but does not admit of strengthening with silver, as I found to my cost. I obtained one pretty view (20 sec.) and as it had unfortu- -nately grown too dry on the edges, I attempted another in order to make a stereoscopic picture. I gave it 25 sec. wh. proved too long, and trying to strengthen it, it turned a very pretty amber colour in spots. My time, therefore, with small diaphragm, at noon, is about 20 sec. for Pyro- -gallic acid.] I came home, minded the babies, began copying "To thee oh dear dear country" for Papa at his request, and wrote diary. I received a kind note from Walter with a large piece of pretty edging. After dinner finished copying that hymn, then took my camera and looked for views, settling the time. —See Book. In the evening finished at my wheel 18 collars & cuffs for Lizzie ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p152.jpg) By the bye Bessie gave me a message from one of the House of Refuge girls of my old class who was going West — alluding to a pa parabolical story I told them, and saying — "Tell Mrs Kane I never mean to forget about the butter." Truly, I shall have a lot of idle words to answer for, if one's words dropped so carelessly make good or bad impressions while we pass heedlessly on.— Took a Spanish lesson 72 Sunday May 16. Last night I was up seven or eight times with Sashy who was quite croupy. Today, I really enjoyed. I copied "To thee, O dear, dear country and another pretty hymn in the back of this book, and learned another pretty one. Wrote to Tot, and read a sermon of Trench's before our early dinner. Then Mr and Mrs Ingersoll called, and then J.P.G. and I went over to the Octagon School House. There a very good sermon was read by Mr Harris, This is Ascension Sunday, and our text was "If ye loved me, ye would rejoice because I said, I go unto my Father." We came home through Nice's Woods, a lovely walk and a lovely day. I read my Bible in the evening but went to bed early. May 17. This morning I tried to photograph, but did not succeed. I cannot run up the hill fast enough Coming home I took up the paper in a careless way and saw — "Advices from Fort Leavenworth up to the 13th ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p153.jpg) state that an express had arrived from Camp Scott with letters dated April 10th. The Mormons had are arrived reported as leaving Salt Lake City, for the White River Mountains, and Governor Cumming has gone to the City by invitation — St. Louis May 15. This will certainly give us news of my darling— this is his work. At first I imagined it would bring himself but he would be mentioned. At any rate he will soon be at Fort Leavenworth. Thank God, thank God. Thursd Wednesday, May 19. A world of events have hap- -pened in these two days. I went to town yesterday as Mother was going in, to attend to her asylum visiting– and to see Aunt Julia. I accompanied her to Aunt Patterson's, and then performed my own errands, which took me to Mr Langenheim's. He promised to come out to see me on Thursday. All these things occupied the morning. I joined Mother and came out of town to dinner. We had scarcely risen from table when little Willy Morton came in with a radiant face, fumbling at his pocket the while. "Any letters, Willy?" "Yes ma'am" then in a burst "Good news from Mr Tom, See!" holding up a little leather package and a letter. I almost kissed the boy. I was so confused I scarcely knew what I was doing, but there—my own darling had sent me his am- -brotype. How much love his sending it to me ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p154.jpg) * Philadelphia Bulletin newspaper expressed! He hates to do it, but he knew that no gift he could ever give would be so precious to me, who hunger for the light of his face, He looks— ah my darling, how I studied all the little details, how I devoured the dear face. He wrote to me too, precious lines that I laid aside almost unread, for there was a note from Pat 73 asking me to decipher a letter he enclosed. It took all my afternoon and evening. Today, the newspapers and the town are ringing with his praises. Pat takes letters, etc, to Mr Buch -anan tonight. Evening— *The Bulletin says that the Washington Union denies Tom's official mission — That Bucha- nan! I must say that I was delighted with Mother's feeling. She showed her love and pride in my boy so evidently. Little Harry looked at his picture, blushed, and cried out "That's Tom," and Sashy kissed it. God bless them. Harry knows several pieces of poetry "for Tommige." Printed pictures today. I want to make a complete set of all my photographs, and have them nicely mounted for Tom to see. I must try not to waste completely the time he is employing so nobly. He is so good, oh how unworthy of him I feel myself! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p155.jpg) Read Kingsley's "Saints Tragedy" aloud in the eve- ning — I cannot help being ungrateful enough to wish Tom would soon be here. I know I ought to be amply satisfied with the almost unhoped for success God has given, and it does make me thankful. But Tom says — "Expect letters by the next semi-monthly mail, but do not be disappointed if they are not carried through." Letters, his letters, are welcome Heaven knows but I hoped in the truth of my heart though I did not say so, to be clasped in his arms ere two weeks were over. Oh the longed for rest and peace of kneeling beside him at my evening prayer, and then falling asleep in his arms. True love, and dearest friend, I want your help, and counsel so much! How long, how long it seems! — But I am ungrateful — I have enjoyed the happiness of being with him for five years, he loves me still — can I not lend him to God to do His work a tithe of my happy years? Perhaps God will restore us to each other soon. Others have never known the happiness of such love! I can endure his absence if I offer it to God. I know that I do love Christ a little because I feel glad to be able to show him that I can make a sacrifice to Him. Yet dare I call this a sacrifice? Alas no! We are unprofitable servants we have done what it is our duty ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p156.jpg) crossed off wording! " that the Fs were going to publish the letters unless the family buy them off. to do. Nevertheless, for Christ's sake, I will try to make no more grumblings at my own life's absence. Friday. Pat left on Wednesday for Washington. He took on two letters for Mr Buchanan from Tom, as well as our letters. I prayed most earnestly for his success. — I had very hopeful, delighted letters from Papa, Nell, and Harry on Thursday. Mr. Langenheim came out to give me a lesson in Photography, and stayed to dinner. Also Mr Shields and R. Wetherill. I was very tired when I came in to dinner. Afterwards Mother called me to show me a letter R. W. brought from Emily Morris paying * that the F's were going to publish the love letters [---] [---] the family buys them off? Mother thought it important for me to take the letter in, to Pat. 74 I assured her on my own authority, that she need give herself no uneasiness as I knew there was nothing they could publish that would detract from — reputation, and only bade her say nothing to Bess. I then went to town, left the letter and messages with John, and came out in the 8 P. M. Germantown train, pretty well worn out. Johnny says that Mr Butler is intensely excited ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p157.jpg) by Tom's success. The town rings with his praises. "At the club they call him "The Napoleon of Peace.'" Seems to me I have a faint recollection of that soubriquet as applied by Punch to old Louis Philippe. No matter — and no matter what they say. They make him, my own husband neither less nor more than I have always known him, the noblest, in action, most unselfish, most thoughtful for others, the highest in aim, of any one I ever knew. The nearer I go to his heart of hearts, the better I know him as the years roll on, the more deeply I venerate him. Oh how poor and mean my best is to his worst action! Poor darling ,in his letter he speaks of "adoration" for me! I would go from here to town on my homes just to kiss his feet Come! that's — what was it he used to call it? — " dulcamorous twaddle! This morning I went to the station a little before the time I had to go to town, and picked up the paper for the first time without special reference to my darling. Suddenly I saw a blessed wee scrap — "Col. Kane at Fort Leavenworth." I dashed up to the house screamed out the news and dashed off to the cars again. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p158.jpg) * Note on Buchanan's behalf Pat was not yet at the offive, so I went to his rooms, waited till he was dressed and heard all the details of his most satisfactory visit to Washington. Mr Buchanan saw him from 8 to 10 A.M. said the "Peace Commissioners" were no more Commissioners than Tom himself, spoke of Tom as a noble character, etc, and with his own hand wrote a notice to the Union, saying that Tom was no Mormon, but a worthy brother of Elisha's, — a noble enterprise — etc, etc, Pat says he is anxious that it should be known as undertaken on Tom's personal responsibility, that the Government should not have the credit. I confessed to a wish to have Tom's expenses paid by Government. Pat said "Tom's achievement is worth more than $2600 to the family." Mr Hazlitt brought out sundry papers to us about Tom. Mother is having our newsrooms cleaned up, that we may be in them when Tom returns. The Union publishes Mr Buchanan's denial of Tom's being a Mormon. Saturday 22 As I feared, the report of his being at Leavenworth is a mistake. I was not so much cast down as I might have been owing to my not having fully credited it at first. Besides I have offered the little sacrifice ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p159.jpg) to God, and He will help me. Mother went to Aunt Anne's with John, Bessie is gone to town so I am entirely alone. Dear wee Harry dined with 75 me. I asked her to say "Dear friend when will you bring Papa home. Do being him home soon!" Harry put her curly head on one side and said, "Won't you wait till dear friend's ready, Murrer , dear?" Yes, I will wait with patience, and remember that God loveth a cheerful giver. I worked hard all day putting my furniture and clothes into my new rooms, though the incentive to haste no longer exists. Then I walked about over the ground finding a new orchis, and a new woodsorrel. Then John Green brought me a little, loving letter from my darling. I wish I knew what date to look forward to for his return. I think I shall mouth off this day month. Mother came home about <½> ½ past 6, weary, yet better for her journey. After tea, as I sat at my sewing, she came down stairs, and said — "I heard Tom call "Mother" plainly." John went to town in the evening to ask Mr Plitt whether he could not take on the despatches to Mr Buchanan instead of poor Pat, who went on to New York about the I's* today, and goes to Washington tomorrow unless John persuades him to let him go. *Foxes ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p160.jpg) Sunday. Jane's day out. Read my Bible, and "Christ in Hades" an epic in blank verse written by a college friend of Mr Shields. Dreary, very. Yet not without passages which are quite sublime? grand? — ?pretty well! Wrote to Charlotte, Walter and Nelly. Read one of Trench's Hulsean Lectures. Monday, May 24th. I printed a number of Photographs [toning with gold, to see whether I was right in believing gold to be the produces of Mr Guillon's intense blacks. It is, but my solution is too old, and makes my whites yellow.] Mother turns me into Pat's room as she wants my entry varnished. I sewed a little and read to Bessie some of the Saint's Tragedy, and began to read to her "Woman's Thoughts about Women." Walked to Branchtown, and studied my Spanish lesson. Tuesday 25. Last night the papers mentioned Mor- -ton's arrest for an assault in New York — This morning poor Willie told us Mr Machette came in and informed his mother who was very much distressed. Willie knew it yesterday but kept it to himself. Poor little fellow that accounts for his headache and his slipping home dinnerless yesterday! 76 John says Morton will be bailed out by Mr. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p161.jpg) * still a family saying in the Kane tribe. Gunnell. After breakfast I walked up there to tell Mrs M. so, and then went on to Rover's, etc, I sewed all morning, Mother having desired me to go with her to Mr. Fisher's, but it rains now, and we cannot go. Poor Mr Guillon's projected visit last week was prevented by his sister's death, Mrs Lizzy Thibault. — Deaths everywhere! Last night mention was made in the papers of my poor boy's being so exhausted when he reached Camp Scott that they had to lift him off his horse. This was on the 12th of March. Courage and patience! "Commit his way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and, He shall ?bring it to pass." — Dear Harry was murmuring something to which I paid no attention. At last she pulled my dress "Mamma, don't you hear this dear little voice!" "What is it, Harry?" Harry: "Kentish Sir Byng Stood for his King, Bidding the crop-headed Parliament swing ?And raising a troop Unable to stoop And see the vogues flourish, and honest folk droop Marched them along ?Fifty score strong. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p162.jpg) Great hearted gentlemen singing this song ?Cavaliers up! Sips from the cup! Hands from the pasty, nor bite take, nor sup! Till you're marching along Fifty score strong Great hearted gentlemen, singing this song." I was greatly surprised. While Jane was getting their supper the other night I had amused them and myself by shouting it out, but Harry picked it up amazingly fast. She then said "Little drops of water,” and "Twinkle, twinkle,? little star," two verses of the ‘’Happy Homes of England," a ?good half of the "Forsaken Merman" and "In summer on the headlands The Baltic's heights along The Neckan tunes his harp of gold, And sings his plaintive song. Green rolls the Baltic sea And there, beneath the Neckan's feet His wife and children be." 77 Harry believes the picture of the "Shipwreck" in the study to relate both to the Neckan and the Merman. She is as she would say" re (the) oddest ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p163.jpg) little fish!" She tells us long stories about an imaginary family, Betty, Willy, and Pringle Dalton. Sometimes it is a transposition of an actual scene. Sometimes a pure fiction like the following: Looking up from her bread and butter she said — "Dowton and I were out in the field, cricketing, and the bat flew over into the pas (path) Murder, Dowton, says I murder, boy, what will you do now." Well, what did he say, Harry? "Say, oh nothing. He's just a baby, He's two years – o' wage," answers with great contempt her ladyship, not yet three "years o' wage." Here's her picture, little pet. When I am dead and gone she may pick up the book and show her children what a bright darling she was. [oval gold image of a little girl in a chair] [written on the right side of the image] May 25? 1858 So I first see this in 1969 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p164.jpg) Same day Evening. Bessie comes home from town, no Pat so I cannot hear at all fully what news there is from Tom. Oh to see the President's letters! The papers say Tom was fired at twice by a sentinel This Evening's Bulletin repeats the old story of his being at Fort Leavenworth. Bess says Pat told her Tom was obliged to go into the mountain fastnesses to persuade over young Kimball who is dis- -inclined for peace - a service of great danger. My heart sinks to think that this is all true. I know how Tom is wearing his dear frail body out. Heavenly Father, give me courage and patience. Help me to bear on my way cheerfully and composedly, and not to imagine myself the only sufferer in the household. I have hope still of clasping my beloved again even in this world. God bless him, strengthen comfort and support him. — Pat speaks very warmly of Mr B. — I drove through the rain to Germantown with Johnny for mother's butter, etc, Wednesday 25th We were all sad yesterday evening, Mother very much so. I read the Saints' Tragedy aloud. Today is as usual this month a pouring rain, not even allowing me the glimpses of sunshine I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p165.jpg) * generally avail myself of for photographing. So I stayed at home, sewed, mounted photographs finished reading aloud The Saint's Tragedy, and commenced reading Prescott's Philip the Second to myself. *Pat came out to dinner, returning after an hour or two to town. I had not seen him since his interview on Monday with <(Pres)> Buchanan, and so he told us about it, and about the contents of Tom's letters, of which he had not time to obtain 78 copies. — As the little article Mr B. put in the Union speaks of Tom's "volunteering" Pat pointedly referred to his letters as being friendly, not "official despatches." Pat warned him that the contractors evidently interfered with the mail, that our letters had been opened — (Government has had no dispatches at all) and said that owing to the ill-feeling of the army, garbled dispatches would be quite likely to appear in the papers soon. Might he take the liberty of preparing the Press? Mr B — lifting up his hands, deprecatingly, "Oh Mr Kane, I trust that is unnecessary — I do not want Congressional investigations in the last two weeks of the session." Pat says the hard work is killing the poor old gentleman. Pat tells me that Tom cannot leave ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p166.jpg) there for months! I — So, I will not write about it. God bless my own! If I in our own home nest with our dear children about me feel lonely, what must he do in his ’’wind chilled tent." Dear, dear Tom. The Mail of February 1st reached Camp Scott on the 22 March. That of March 1st may then reach there on the 22nd April. Allow to the 1st of May as time for delays, we ought to hear very soon how my poor boy bears his calamity. If it had only been permitted that he might make a speedy peace, we might hear of him in two days at Leavenworth. This sort of thing which I should be afraid to breathe to the others keeps me in constant alternations of hope and disappointment to know that I may not see him for months, to hope secretly that a few days may bring him — this uncertainty tears my heart, My pet, my darling, how I pray for you! Friday, May 28. I passed the whole of yesterday in bed with a very bad sick headache. Johnny gave me chloro- -form which affected me curiously. After struggling a little I felt suddenly pervaded by the most delicious languor, no pain, nor distress. I was perfectly con- -scious of all around me yet I could not help moaning louder and louder. My breathing was affected however so that they threw windows open and bathed my face with cold ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p167.jpg) water. The headache returned at once, but my breathing was affected for some time. As I could do nothing, I allowed myself to dream over all our happy married life. Oh so happy! — They were all so kind to me, as I lay sick. This morning I feel too weak to work though there is a most tempting sky overhead. I have arranged the children's clothes in our new apartments. May the new little dear home soon be blessed by the presence of our darling to whom Harry and Sashy and I belong. How nice to think of. There is a steamer from California due today, but it will not bring any Utah mail, nor, if it brings news from some one lately arrived, would its news be so late as what we have. Tomorrow week I ought to have news again from Tom overland, probably giving us the information that he has heard of Father's death. Our letters of March 25th arrived only three days after those of the preceding mail. 79 Saturday. Nothing in the papers except a formal denial of Tom’s being at Leavenworth. Vain attempts to copy Fanny Butler’s miniature. I am so weak that I can do nothing scarcely even hold the pen. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p168.jpg) Sunday May 30 Yesterday I dawdled about and sewed all day, except while I read Kingsley’s new poem, "Androm- -eda" which is quite pretty, and also a shorter one "St. Maura" In the evening John brought out Dr S. S Joynes' cards. He marries Miss S. Y. Archer. Poor Rose Bayley! There was also an envelope from Bess enclosing a pencil scrawl from Tot, which distresses me much. She alludes to her having been "very far from well," and speaks as if she was uneasy about herself. I have written to Aunt Eliza to ask her to tell me about Tot’s state. Dear Aunt E. has her up at Pellwood. God be thanked for raising her up so kind a friend. Dear Tot how little I have ever done to repay her devotion to me Dear, dear old Tot! Mother wanted to get her hymnbooks. from the Germantown church, so we spent a forlorn morning there. I could not help recalling my coming to Reneselaer nearly six years ago, and the welcome and kindness Tom’s betrothed received. Father, and Elisha — gone, and Tom, already five months away Mother and I are both widowed; God grant I may see my husband again in this world, but even then I fear that absence may have cured him of his love for one. Even if he continue to love me — he has also learned to do without me. Lost tragedy I also wrote to Papa, and in the afternoon took ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p169.jpg) 1858 a long walk with Johnny Green past Tacony Creek where dear Tom has so often driven me in happier days. Monday. May 31st. A very fatiguing day Jane had an immense wash, so I sat minding the babies sewing and peeping into "Philip II" till twelve. Then I went to photograph F. Butler's miniature and after dinner read Kingsley’s "Andromeda" to Bess. Then I walked with the babies till their bed-time. I had a long wall letter from a Mrs. Clark of S. Bernardino telling me about Tom’s being there, and her husband’s accompany- -ing him to Salt Lake, about her baby’s death etc. I am asked to write her news of him. God grant I may have good news to give! Tuesday, June 1st. A cloudy day though not rainy. I was very anxious to go photographing but delayed till noon as Mother wanted to have her hair dyed. (I paid Jane’s wages, by the bye) Then I took 8 attempts at likenesses of Bess two of which I kept. In the evening rode over with Johnny to call on the Dunlap's. 80 Wednesday June 2. Today I marked for hearing news of Tom, but there is none. Well, he must send word soon. Every day's leaden wing's bear it nearer. (Strange dream about Forgiveness) ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p170.jpg) I obtained a capital copy of the Judge's [-] -tograph, and took a nice little Iikeness of Bess. Then I prepared some paper and printed 20 photographs in the afternoon, reading the "North British" the while. Al[-] ripped some work, and saw Mr & Mrs Mercer, Mrs Hone, Mrs Ashurst and Mr Ingersoll. In the evening wrote to Mrs Clark. I copy i[-] that Tom may see if I have committed a terrible gaucheries in my answer. "My dear Mrs Clark, I received your very kind letter with great pleasure, and hasten to reply to it by first opportunity, though perhaps it would be b[-] to wait till I have news of your friend, my husband, to send you. Our last letters were dated March 24th, and I suppose you already know much more about him and the result of his lab[--] at Salt Lake than I do. He speaks most hig[-] of those who escorted him to Salt Lake, of w[--] your good husband was one; and both his m[-] and I are grateful for the devotion shown by them, and by his old friends at Deseret I shall be sure to tell Mr. Kane, if he is spared return, among the first things, how pleasant acquaintance I have formed in S. Bernar[-] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p171.jpg) [text of page already transcribed, only text of overlay] P S Direst to Me Fuggitts Post Office San Jouquin County California ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p172.jpg) May 2d 1858 To Mrs Thomas L Kane My dear Friend I have seated myself to attempt to write to you to fulfill my promise to your noble husband. Col. Kane. & I only wish I was I was mere capable of performing the task of writing a Letter to one that is a stranger to me, although I have never beheld your face. yet in imagination I have often held intercourse with you. I should have been very glad to have written to you before, but my weak nature is such, that if any care, or especially anxiety is on my mind, I cannot direct my mind in such a channel as I desire, and although I am aware how great your anxiety must be you have parted with your husband, the Father of your two beautiful children to undertake an arduous and tedious Journey to endeavour if possible to peace with a people and their government so much like the self sacrificing race of the Kanes willing always to undertake any hard- ship for the good of their fellowman. when the Dr arrived at San Barnardino his health was very poor I endeavoured to render him all the assistence I could. although he was travelling in cog. I recognized in Dr Osburne. Col. Kane whom I had seen 12 years ago, when I found out who was going to accom -pany him to Utah I knew they were not suitable ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p173.jpg) [Column 1] men to take care of a sick person. I perposed to the Dr to let my husband go along with him, as I thought him more suitable as he had had a great deal of sick -ness in his own Family your husband refused to him away from me, knowing my lonely situation, I insisted on it, telling him that it was no course for me than you, they started on the sixth of Feby, (and I was also somewhat afraid of the Dr being overtaken) many a prayer I endeavoured to offer up for their safety & success. My husband accompanied him to settle Salt Lake and returned by the Drs request to San Barnardino on business, when he left him he had improved very much in health, and I earnestly hope by this time that he is enjoying the society of his family, and helping to comfort his bereaved mother, for I saw by the papers the death of the Hon Judge Kane. I know how to sympathise with you in your deep affliction, for I have been sorely afflicted, none but a mother can fully realise my only precious child has been taken from me and although nearly a year has passed away my loss seems greater to day than it did the day the grave veiled her from my sight, sweet little Daughter Language fails to express the feelings of my heart, and the big tears of regret flow freely down my cheek when I reflect she is gone, the loss of our parents is a severe trial, but the loss [Column 2] of our parents after we have arrived at the age of maturity and away to ourselves, is nothing in comparison with that of a promsing child the only invaluable treasure you are iin possession off, our parents liked their time had their joys and their sorrows their cares & their disappoint -ments and we could not in reason suppos they would or could desire a much longer life, but our children we do not expect them to die, they are ful of promise & hope and it hardly seems right that they should be taken from us, although we know our little cherub child has passed death gloomy portal we know her little spirit miles Although my dear friend we are called by providence to be seperated by Death from our dear friends, yet their is something cheering in the thought that they are freed from soorow pain& death, but I must draw to a close on this subject for I am afraid I have worried you now, I am very anxious to hear what success the Dr. had at Utah & how he is. I see by the papers that he had left Utah will you be kind enough to answer this letter Has now become immortal But oh how, we miss her now For winter rains are falling And every hour methinks I hear My precious child a calling And very place wherere I go I find some little token some little play thing that the loved Or toy that she had broken ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p174.jpg) and give me some information excuse this hasty Epistle and now may the very God of peace & consolation rest & and abide with you all is the prayer of your affectionate Friend Frances Lissie Clark PS Direst to me Fuggitts Post Office San Jouquin County California ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p175.jpg) And then he will tell me more of you than your letter does. I could not love my own little children so much without feeling grieved that you have lost your little darling. I suppose you must have many a lonely hour, for you are far from the home and friends of your childhood. But is it is not —" oh, bother, my letter was entirely too long and tedious to copy. If I do not see my own darling soon, this journal will have expanded far too much to bore him with it. Thursday June 3. I am so glad that Mother has gone to town today to attend a meeting of her Widows' Board. Bessie went with her, so I could not photograph much, as I had to be dressed to see visitors. I tried to take a picture of Harry but she moved too much. I also tried to take a little beauty of a picture. It was part of the gnarled trunk and roots of a tree overhanging the stream with a tuft of ferns in a nook of the roots. It failed, as my collodion washed off, but I shall try again if I ever make dry plate pictures. I sewed a great deal today too. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p176.jpg) * 81Friday June 4th. I saw in the paper last night that the Utah Mail was in, that Gov. Cumming was turned out of S.L.C. and that the Mormons were determined to resist. I cannot think it true, and wrote so to A. Osborn. Today the papers seem to dis- -credit it. I went to town in spite of my cold, but could get no farther news of Tom. Nice letters from home. Wrote to the girls. The Wetherills spent the after- -noon here. Saturday June 5th. Worked hard all morning with Willie Morton, washing glass plates, mixing solutions and printing pictures. Sewed, and patched clothes for the wash. Expected letters confidently from Tom, so ran down to meet Pat when he arrived by the 2.25 P.M. train. He evidently had none, but I thought J.P.G. would bring them in the evening So I occupied myself as patiently as I could with Mother and Pat. Poor Mother is quite sick. Johnny Green came out in the evening. No letter! I could not prevent two or three tears trickling out of my eyes, as I lay down on my pillow. I counted the days so for these letters. They were the ones which I hoped would tell me how bravely my darling was bearing his sorrow,* *Note: (over his father's death) ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p177.jpg) and how soon I might look for him. This makes me fear that he has broken down under the shock, Surely, if he were well, he would not delay writing. Sunday June 6th. Jane's day out. I have got Elisha asleep, and Harry is hanging about me as I write. I have been reading my Bible, and praying, and I hope I will have faith to believe that God will take care of us. I was very unhappy yesterday. Worry- -ing about our future, what Tom's occupation should be, etc, etc. As a brighter side let me remember. First, I have his love, and mine for him — we have our two dear children, and such dear friends. Then, I have money enough for the present, and these beautiful new rooms to live in, and no chance of starving. Plenty therefore to make me only too thankful for the present. All God asks of me is, to trust Him with the future. Surely, I may! Wrote to Tot, and to Papa, and read one of Trench's Hulsean Lectures. Monday June 7. Last night and today Mother is suffering intensely with an eruption, and with six boils, poor thing. Baby, too, looks very sick so worn with teething! 72 I spent all the earlier part of the morning minding babies studying my Spanish lesson, and reading "Philip the Second." Then the Dan- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p178.jpg) -laps came to spend the day. By the time they were gone, and Jane up from her tea I was too headachey to do anything but go to bed. Tuesday. Finished Philip the Second (1st vol) and began sorting a ?number of letters. Lizzie and Miss Gibbs were here from 11 till 6. After they went, I prepared two dry plates for another trial tomorrow. I suppose they will fail too! Friday. My * book! I treat you ill. When I am dull or stupid, I write ?many a page in you. When there is a pressure either of joy or grief, I forget all about you! Therefore, I broke off my writing on Tuesday, as Johnny Green came in with letters from my own husband, dated as late as May 2. He had heard the news, and wrote Iike a Christian ?should. My darling, my darling! The good part of his news was yet to come; he will try to be ?home before June is out, and today is the eleventh! We, Mother and I, were sitting at the dining room table close ?to each other that we might share the light. Before we had finished the letter Bess and John returned from a drive, and we passed such ?a thankful hour. I wrote to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p179.jpg) Tom at Fort Laramie in the evening, and? to him at Weston Mo. and Fort Kearney, Grand lsland yesterday before? breakfast. Then on Wednesday morning I worked steadily and finished mounting the photographs I have for Tom. My dry plates did not do, as usual. Thursday I put all my ?loose letters in order and packed our winter things in Camphor. Read ?aloud a little, Mother rather better of her troubles. Alfred Pell kindly sent me the first number of a photographic journal. I signed as one of Mamma's children, an agree- -ment, already signed ?by all but Willie, to allow our trustees to invest her settlement on ?bond and mortgage in the U.S. Papa acting as agent. Pat did not seem? very sure about its legality. I think of going to New York for a couple of days on tomorrow , literally, "pour passer le temps" Friday. Went to town. Saw the President's message in which he says no word of Tom, though in a special message on Utah affairs a word of praise would have been, to say the least, graceful. Papa telegraphed me not to come. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p180.jpg) ADD FOOTNOTE x We know now that Salt Lake City was AT BOTTOM OF ready to be fired by the Mormons if they were hostile 83 PAGE E.K. Saturday. Very rainy! I minded the children from 8 to 11, pasted all our newspaper scraps, began the 2nd vol. of Philip IInd made myself a whole black petticoat, read a novel, put down all the accounts in my big book from my little one for May, sorted clothes for the wash, made my entries in the photographic journal, trans- -lated a cipher from Tom, and read aloud to Bess a drama called "King's daughter of Provence." Pretty busy day. Tom's cipher is as follows: "April 18. Mr Buchanan should send out a good District Attorney. Let the administration papers handle the letter-writing of officers without gloves. Things are working well. But for the presence of the troops the brave Cummings would have no difficulty. He has made one grave mistake, (not to be mentioned) but is right on public matters. It will be easier to save blood from being shed than the city from x burning. Brigham Young is laboring in earnest, but the people are flying south by hundreds, and the Indians breaking in enough to justify their alarm. Thank God, my health is such as you have never known it" ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p181.jpg) June 20 1858 Sunday Read a sermon, my Bible, and wrote a long, long letter to Tom in the morning. Thursday I said laughingly today that when I was happy and joyful I forgot my diary, and only wrote when I was sad. Yesterday we heard Tom was at Bomerville Today we ought to have heard of his arrival at St. Louis It is ten at night. John has just come home. No news whatever of Tom. The waters of the rivers are much swollen say the papers — God preserve my darling Sunday 20th June. My head is in a perfect whirl with the events of the last few days. I will make a note of them simply, first, lest I have no time for details, and then try to amplify it. Thursday I worked from morning to night and had everything in order for Tom. Friday I was so anxious that I went to town at ½ past 9. No news! I telegraphed to the Planter's Hotel, St. Louis for information, and while awaiting an answer, I went out to execute a number of commissions. Coming back, I heard that he was actually here! He was going out in the same train with me, though he would not see me until he reached Fern Rock. He looked far better in health than when he left here. 84 I cannot believe that he was only here from Friday afternoon till Saturday morning. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p182.jpg) I heard and felt so much, and was so happy and so unhappy! Sat up till 12. Saturday. I unpacked his clothes, and minded the children till half past eleven, escorted him to town, returned at 2.25, the thermomoter 90 in the shade, dined, packed his furs in camphor sorted looked through a market basket full of Elisha's papers, to select certain ones, (copied one, wrote to Tom,) sorted all his papers, put them away, mailed those he was charged with, minded the children, drank tea, went up to sit with the sleeping babies while Jane washed, cried myself to sleep and went to bed, worn out, at eleven. Sunday. Mother gone to town with John, Bessie is already there. *Tom is in Washing- -ton but I do not miss him. I have so much to dwell on, he has given me so much to think of during his absence that I am rather glad of the opportunity to collect my thoughts. So if I write all down I shall do it some distance ahead that I may keep it quite private, and tear it up. A Mr Stenhouse called here, and asked for information, he was connected with the Herald, and a Mormon. I tried to give him exactly what he said he was going to write ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p183.jpg) "an interesting account saying nothing." x I am glad however that I am no longer my own mistress but can refer everything to "the Colonel". x He asked me if the Colonel returned with a lower opinion of the people of the Territory. I answered that he spoke so warmly of his friends there, that I thought he must esteem them more highly if possible. He wanted to know about the truth of the emigration. I told him the truth, that Mr Kane had not informed me of their destination, etc, ln fact, I tried to let him do the talking, because I did not want to commit Tom, if I could help it. I showed him the likenesses, and I told him about the real story of the firing at Louis Robinson. — I have been crying for hours over my darling's notebook and some marks dated in my Bible. I want to write him all that is in my heart. My poor darling. "For a little moment have I forsaken Thee, but with great mercy will I gather thee". "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p184.jpg) S. Bernardino (1) 85 * Monday. An extraordinarily hot day. My temper is ruffled too by a discussion I have had. I think I might write down as Tom tells me of them, some of his adven- -tures, lest I forget them. First the truth of his S. Bernardino adventure. His quarters at the tavern, where he was lying sick, were so miserable, that he went to an empty building formerly the house of Amasa Lyman to lie down in peace. (At the tavern while he lay on the floor in the dark. a row began in the next room the combatants finally bursting in and falling over him.) Two speculators who had bought Lyman's house let him go there, and sleep in their room. This house was a very large one (fifteen windows on a side) and was divided by party walls, and separate entrances into several domiciles. At one end some people were living, a man and woman, and a sick mountaineer whom they were nursing. Tom used to get the woman to boil milk for him, and doctored the mountaineer with the contents of his little medicine chest. These people however, he thought evidently distrustful of him. * It was part of his policy to make the Anti- Mormons distrust him that their enmity might be a passport to the confidence of the Mormons In this he succeeded only too well. The coming of ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p185.jpg) the Vigilance Committee's Committee of arrest was changed by his bold front into the visit of a Committee of Inquiry. He bluffed them off, and made a partial confidant of District Attorney Marin. The head man Pickett he scared into remaining outside the town all day telling him that he had three fellows watching who would shoot him if he made his appearance in the town that day. At night feeling anxious about the safety of his trunk, left at the tavern, he made a circuit outside the town and came into the tavern where he actually was while the Vigilance Committee were holding a meeting there. They deter When he got back to the deserted house he affected to go to bed, but felt uneasy because his speculator companions lay down on either side of him. He determined therefore if possible to rid himself of the valuable papers he had with him. His companions fell sound asleep and he rose and stole out of doors. Whichever way he went he found himself dogged, the house was en- -tirely surrounded by spies. He was forced to go back, and had to stay awake all night as he was unacquainted with the house and did not know where he might not expect an attack. From the sounds some one was evi- -dently up all night watching in the building (Skip two or three pages) ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p186.jpg) S. Bernardino 1 87 Sunday June 20. 1858 Tom and I had a good deal of talk together. I said in my diary that "I was so happy and unhappy." What made me unhappy was this. Tom told me the first moment we were alone, Iike my dear honest darling, that the hope that had dawned on him of being a Christian was gone. — Now what distresses me is not the same trouble as I used to have, because I am sure it is only a cloud veiling the sun. I know that my prayers won't fall to the ground, I know that he will be a Christian, and if I had exulted in the answer to my prayer too soon, I can wait patiently. Late or soon it shall be answered. Not all the men on earth, nor all the fiends in hell could persuade me against Christ's words "Ask and ye shall receive." I know that I ask a prayer that is a right one, and the answer I will have. True it is that for six years I have prayed daily for this one thing, but sometimes it has been more habit, not always the “strong crying and tears" with which I prayed last night. I need no special revelation, no messenger from heaven to tell me what I feel in the depth of my soul that my Savior hears, and is my advocate. I know my prayer ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p187.jpg) will be granted. My grief is, that the only comfort in his trouble is not his now, All my letters dwelt on that comfort. What can he do? And how hard it will be to shut up in my own breast again all the sym- -pathies that went out to my brother – Christian. He was so much nearer me! I don't know how to talk to him, for my thoughts have so moulded themselves around that hope that I — Oh dear poor Tom! I think I must not show you my diary, It would pain you now. I am glad I did not know he had lost his staff till now. I could not have borne his absence. Another (minor) distress is that Tom thought my likeness was—, what I asked him anxiously though he thought jestingly. May God spare me! It would break Tom's heart if it proved so. Another thing! Tom will not even allow his expenses to be paid by Government. We have therefore enough to pay our debts & have $9184 over but Tom has work connected. $2600 Taken with him +$1200 Drawn while absent 3800 $4000 Invested of E K K's money in Mc Kean land, & owing his estate. $2000 $ 384 = 9884 Sent his father with no voucher $1384 Owing Charlotte. 191 14,184 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p188.jpg) S. Bernardino 1 Debit Creditor. Taken away $ 2600 Insurance Policies 10. 000 Drawn while away " 1200 Chicago Stock. 1. 300 Invested of E. K. K. " 4000 Mc Kean lands. 4. 000 Estate and owing to it Owing Charlotte " 1384 Bonus on Policies . 850 " 9184 Sent his father, but with 2 000 " No voucher that I know of " 18. 150 " 18.150 – 9.184 = 8.966 [text of page partially covered by overlay] -nected with this Mormon work that will for some time prevent his finding occupation. Then he has decided to live here. Suppose his health fails? I told him I thought his expenses ought to be paid. His services are not to be valued by money; he has risked his life, and lost his happiness, and that he gives freely to his country I had hoped to his God. For that he would take no payment, and he would be right. But with a useless woman like me to be a drag on him, with no prospect of employment (lucrative employment, his family will give him work enough) and with two children I do not think he can afford it. Still, he wills it, and notwithstanding his theory of partnership, equal rights, and so forth, practically the only result of my disapproval ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p189.jpg) * note she prevailed on her father to give up * £1000 salary is to depress his spirits, and make him firmer in the belief which I know he entertains that my honour is not as delicate as his,* and that my mercantile associations make 88 me covetous. God knows if I could work so as to maintain him, and our children, I would never interfere to prevent his sacrificing every cent he had, for I do honour and respect from the bottom of my heart his noble delicacy and disinterestedness. But I know that if he dies, or if he cannot get work he can do we must be a burden on Mother's estate. That galls me. Oh, if I had only not come to him penniless! To be a burden on him in everything degrades me in my own eyes, Heaven grant me sense enough to make my daughter independent. * There's the curse of my life, if I am exempt froms Eve's. To eat the bread of Dependence, bitterer than gall. Tom told me they were going to offer him the embassy to Naples, as hush money. Now there is the sort of thing that I do fully agree with him in. But what's done can't ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p190.jpg) S. Bernardino 1 be undone. I can only try to be cheerful and help him to stagger along under his burden. Would to God I could carry it, or my share! I write down all I can remember of his interview with the President upon his return. The President was waiting for him, he was told; he turned someone away as T. came into the Hall. Up there he met Mr. Bigler, however. The President taking T's hand, with effusion: "Colonel Kane!" T.L.K. "Well, Sir, Have I been as good as my word?" Joey B. "Better — More than as good as your word” (More effusion, and words of thanks) Sit down: you look fatigued: How are you?" (Here Mr. Bigler left, the Prest saying he would see him some other time). J.B. Now tell me all about it. 89 T.L.K. Well, it is all true, or, "all so." Being then told that it was, and better than he had yet heard, he thanked God with some solemnity, and immediately after. "But these poor creatures — is there much suffering among them? Will they be homeless (or some such phrase) next winter? Have they food enough? — I rejoice to hear it. If they had food enough — that is what I wanted to know. He was here silent "saying grace probably" Tom said, as he was, then, "Now tell me all about "it he said ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p191.jpg) *Note and Tom went on. That Saturday evening and a part of Monday morning he explained a few matters of the past but the whole of the 5 days spent in Washington with the Presi- -dent and Cabinet were given to the examination of such facts as bore upon the future. *Tom explained the abuse of the newspapers by the fact that he had refused to tell them anything. He thought none the less highly of the President & Cabinet because they had altercations with him afterwards upon the subject of the course to be pursued respecting Utah in the future. He said they were honest and open differences of opinion, and if he did not convince at once, what wonder, seeing that the truth had been kept from them by designing persons, and they no doubt heard it from him for the first time. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p192.jpg) S. Bernardino 2 Continued With the earliest light he was up walking in the garden and saw at one of the windows a womans face watching him, the woman who lived at the end of the building. She looked not unfriendly so he greeted her, and she made him a sign to come near. When he came in, she closed the door behind him, and falling on her knees with clasped hands said "If I know you, I'll never say that I know you. Oh, Dr Osborne can't you be saved yet?" Then she told him she had recognised him as the companion of their flight from Nauvoo (By the bye Pickett recognised him) that she had made her husband go on the Vigilance Committee He started with them, for they had dispatched another committee of arrest last evening, slipped ahead, told her, "For God's sake, hide that man down the well." She found Tom absent, he was then at the tavern, but hid away his valise, and when the committee arrived, told them he was away, and had had no luggage there. She insisted on Tom's taking her husband with him, in short — she is the Mrs Clark whose letter I inserted some pages back. I am glad I wrote to her so warmly. She told him her story. She was one of Kimball's many wives, but had run away with George Clark. [-] But they were unhappy ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p193.jpg) Note - Check T. L. K.'s the curse was on them; their little one died. She knew that for their sin George and she could have no children. But she said "If by saving you, I could do a service to God's church on earth, I would feel that I did not need a drop of water to cool my tongue when I shall lift up my eyes being in torments." Two of Tom's faithful escorts were George *Clark, and the Mountaineer. He told us no more of the adventure, but he told me that he tried in vain to have the *curse removed from Frances Clark when he went to Salt Lake. Only when he was coming away Br. Young told him as a piece of news that there was a special revelation that Heaven was disposed *to look leniently on Frances on account of her eminent services to the church. The only thing Tom's diary says of S. Bernardino is his departure from it Feb. 6. "Adieu to the Beautiful Valley, the beautiful mountains round the rim, the beautiful cultivated fields, the town shining like forms of crystal in the distant plain. Soon alas adieu to the flowers. This prim- -rose I have plucked, with a violet — se[---]s & peonies are overcome by the sands as we approach the [--]ts and are replaced by old man "and wormwood & chamisso A shrub dense white with flowers of a ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p194.jpg) bitter fragrance adorns the arid thicket, but we are bidding goodbye to freshness, spring, and flowers. We turn round the hills down upon the plains whi[-] confront our course, and discover that they impeded our view of a wave billow, a wonderful depression in the mighty mountains — the Cajon Pass So he went forth into the desert. May the God whom he served, and who blessed his work with success call him indeed one of the "Children of God." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p195.jpg) 89? Saturday June 26th. Now that the object for which I journalised these long months is attained, and my darling is safe at home it scarcely seems worth while to chronicle the days. Yet I may as well finish this one book. Among our economies I may as well not be wasteful of the paper left here. While Tom was away in Washington I stayed at home going through my usual round of occupa- -tions, except that on Wednesday Bessie and I went to Hamilton Village to see Becky and Mary On Thursday I came to town expecting to meet Tom at 3 P.M. but when I came into the office, I had the pleasure of seeing him lying on the sofa in the back room. There was nothing of importance in our meeting yet I recall it with extreme pleasure. It was I think the feeling of content that I saw in his dear face. He liked to see me going about the room, and it makes one so happy to live in the sunlight of loving looks from one's dearest. There were two Mormons there, one an exceedingly striking, distinguished-looking fellow, named Howard Egan, the other a vulgar-looking reporter. We went out of town by the 2.25 train. Tom was worn out and went to bed directly after dinner. I sat by him, and put him to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p196.jpg) S. Bernardino 2 sleep as in the old times. After tea, I wrote at his dictation till bed-time. He planned that I should go to New York with him, but I finally concluded to give it up, partly for economy's sake, partly knowing I should be in his way. 90 Friday. I was up very early to do some copying for him before breakfast. He went off for New York in the early train. I don't feel easy about him at all. He is sick already and is also suffering much from one eye, which was injured in crossing the snows. Finished the second volume of Philip II which interested me much. I sewed a good deal, both with my needle, and the machine. In the afternoon Mr Butler & Uncle Bill came out to see Tom. I had a long letter from Langenheim kindly explaining the dry collodion process. I must copy keep it in my photographic journal. Though if I continue to feel the heat so much I shall not care to photograph till the autumn. Walked up and down in the evening, with Bess, on the piazza. I felt miserable about dear Tom. This morning packed up Tom's furs, read & sewed. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p197.jpg) * *WM. Woods Finances Sunday July 4. Tom came home last Saturday week worn out, overworked and sick. Judge Black dined with him on Monday, and on Tuesday morning he woke up with a violent fever. Though he is better now he is still very weak. On Tuesday next we propose to go to Pillwood if he is well enough. Cattskill Mountain House July 9.* Tom was well enough last Tuesday to be helped into the carriage, and Johnny drove us through lovely country lanes to Tacony, where we took the cars for New York. He bore the journey wonderfully well. At Jersey City. Papa and Walter met us. The latter was very anxious for us to visit his kind little wife at Orange, and I was pleased to see him so earnest. Papa looked very well. He too wished us to go to Yonkers his country residence for the summer, but we were bound to West Point whither a very urgent letter from Mr Pell drew us, Something was evidently wrong. He and his son Alfred went up in the boat with us and were both very kind and cordial. — By the bye Papa told Tom his fortune was apparently going to be little affected by last autumn’s crisis — about $200.000 I believe he thinks he has. * The sail up the Hudson, though long, Tom bore very well, enjoying the breeze and the lovely scenery till we reached West Point about 7 in the evening. Mr Pell’s house commands a lovely view over the Hudson fronting the twin Dunderbergs and Anthony ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p198.jpg) S. Bernardino 2 Nose. When we arrived, Charlotte and Aunt Eliza were out driving so we had time to dress and rest a little before they came in, and tea was served. The evening passed quietly and pleasantly. Tom slept well and seemed better far? by morning. We were down early looking at the view, the house and the photographs of exquisite 91 European scenes hung round the walls. The house is admirably adapted for its purpose as a summer resides You enter from a wide piazza, running the length of the house, into a spacious hall running through the house to an equally wide back piazza. It is floored in tessilated woods, which have a good effect, and has an ample stair- case running straight upwards to the end of the hall where it turns and branches right and left. On either side of the hall are the dining, and drawing rooms running through the house too, with ample large windows on either side. Upstairs are six bedrooms, three dressingrooms & a bathroom. Under the principal or first floor are the servants and young men’s rooms, vary airy and pleasant too. By the bye I may as well put in poor Alfred’s photographs of it. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p199.jpg) After breakfast Charlotte took me and Mr Pell, Tom, and we had the pleasure of fulfilling another agreeable duty. Charlotte had been blinded to the fact that the younger Alfred was falling violently in love with her, and the poor simple fellow was desperate. It was a painful thing to hear, the more so as I am afraid Tom thinks Tot was not entirely free from blame. The story as she told it is this: Last winter while staying at their house in town she had fancied, as did also Aunt Eliza and Mr. Pell that he was falling in love with her. (Indeed, even I from her letters surmised as much — writing to say that I did not believe in these Platonic friendships. one or both parties was sure to end by falling in love, and I then pointed out as strongly as I could do, the insurmountable barriers between them) After Tot’s visit to us in March, she returned to 16th St. instead of to Mr. Pell’s, and it was determined by Mr Pell that he would seek ,an explanation with Alfred. If the result proved him in love, she was not to be invited to West Point. He says he was not in love then, at any rate he denied it said, he was not, never had been and never could be with Charlotte, and gave his father to under stand that he loved some one else. Set completely at rest she was invited to West Point, and gave herself up to enjoying to its utmost the delights of what she fully believed to be a men brotherly friendship. At last she began to think he was in love again & ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p200.jpg) S. Bernardino (2) for the sake of mutual peace determined to obey the doctor’s prescription of sea air by visiting Elie. This determination brought matters to a crisis. He declared himself, was so equivocally refused that he fancied him- -self accepted, and a painful family explanation was the result. He had been sent to Niagara, but had returned. Our visit was to carry her to stay with us till she sailed. ~ Tom heard the story from the father who naturally blamed Tot. Tom said she must leave at once, and come with us next morning. This she distinctly refused to do. She was trying a doctor who would not consent to her leaving before Tuesday. Tom then said we must go. Aunt Eliza was very much disappointed and so was I. I had hoped much pleasure from the visit. I could not help being very sorry for poor Alfred. He lumbered about doing everything he could quietly to make our visit pleasant and I was so sorry to act a sort of ogre’s part to him. (92) For Charlotte, too, I am sorry, though I cannot write down the story without seeing that she is not blameless Wednesday evening we drove to the parade, saw her & Mrs Baird The Delafields, etc, and on Thursday morning started for Catskill So ended a visit I had often hoped to pay. I was pleasantly reminded of Lege'd King of Ethiopia's Seven happy days. All that I looked for I had - Aunt Eliza, Charlotte, Tom, pleasant weather, lovely scenery, books, pictures, photographs ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p201.jpg) * and I cried bitterly! — Well Cattskill disappoints me too. Tom is very depressed, and has bad dreams. Saturday July 10. My own Harry's birthday. Three years old today. Thank God for those happy years. May He teach us to perform our duty to the dear souls He has committed to our charge that we may render them back into His hands "unspotted from the world." We went to see the Cattskill Falls today, but Tom seems thoroughly worn out & dispirited, I wish I could make him enjoy these few days. Tom thinks it may be our duty to take care of ourselves, that some day we may be blessed again. Sunday. Yesterday evening we received a telegram which company upset Tom's nerves. It merely said "Expect important letters by next mail. All well. Telegraph if you receive this." I am afraid we shall be gone before the letters arrive. We had quite a good sermon. Tom and I have had a long talk about "Will." It struck me, and I fancied the thought original till I talked with him, that some future day people would make a new doctrine and would be surprised to find that the New Testament had already proclaimed it — the doctrine of the exceeding power of Faith, we would now call it, the reliance on one's power for effecting a thing be it to besiege God's throne by prayer and gain one's petition, to influence one’s fellows as Napoleon did, or the seemingly miraculous power that Tom says these Mormons have. He has seen instances, scores of them, * ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p202.jpg) S. Bernardino 2 * copy out of invalids restored to [health and, working capacity by the word of the Mormon [priest.] That such things can be we know from the times of Moses, but the strange question does not seem to excite the attention it deserves. Something must be in the Obi power of the West Indies negro, some truth there must have lain among the middle many lies about witchcraft. * This power which dedicated to God, enables people to do the mighty works which we have record of, this same power which under the devil’s influence simulates the equally great works; – what is it to be called? Recognised in the Bible it is. I am not clever enough, nor have time to range the subjects properly, but do not these passages bear on it 93 — "For from the time of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force” — the passage about prayer: "Knock and it shall be opened" etc." : again, where the disciples ask "Why could not we cast them out? again — where Peter sinks the moment his faith fails — the uniformly asked question, of belief – No cure attempted without that, the "Oh woman great is thy faith be it unto thee even as thou wilt," etc — and in the evil power the numerous mentions of false prophets, never denying that they actually did the works they professed to do. (James I 6-7) (James V 15 16 17 18) (I John IV 1,2,3) (I John 14,15) I cannot remember the place where it says speaking of Antichrist that he shall show signs and wonders insomuch ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p203.jpg) * that if it were possible he should deceive even the very elect (Mark II chap 22nd verse) (Mark 13 21 22) Apoc. XIII. 14 (676 x) (This spake he not of himself but being High Priest that year he prophised). — Thursday, July 15. We left Cattskill on Monday morning at 6, and reached home after a most fatiguing journey about ½ past 12 P.M. We first rode on the top of the stage, in a pouring rain, from the Mountain House to the village of Cattskill. Thence we went by steamboat to Poughkeepsie where we dined on flies beefsteak and sour bread, then took the noisy Hudson River Railroad Cars to New York, where we found a very drunken cabman who conveyed us to the Jersey City Ferry. After an hour's waiting the cars started and we reached Phila about 10.15. At the foot of Walnut Street, Pat was waiting for us. — The important news was merely that Mr Cadwalader has ap- pointed a Mr. Jones of Montgomery in Tom's stead. The pleasant cud of this information we chewed all the way out of town. Next morning the papers * contained information of the peaceful advance of the army. Tom was much disappointed because Bessie and I seemed considerably more provoked by the telegram's announcing the result as the work of the "Peace Commissioners" than rejoiced at the success of his labors. Then he grew so very sad and depressed that after trying to cheer him in vain ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p204.jpg) S. Bernardino (2) * Resolve to leave Phila return to Elk Co his fixed stony look began to frighten me, so I urged him to go to bed, and put my arms round him to aid him. He fell over as though fainting, and I laid him on the floor when he revived a little and made me rub his legs which were quite numbed. The affair served to show how weak he was, but it forced me to exert myself to cheer him. Thank God, I think I have been able to manifest as little dismay at our prospects as I could wish. I have told Tom we must go West whether to Elk County or beyond the Rocky Mountains I cannot tell, but it is evident that Philada can not be our home. He cannot earn enough to enable us to spend our winters here, our summers in a healthier climate. Better therefore to remain perma- -nently in the healthy mountains.* Our income will be I hope $500 per annum. I told him I thought he <94> might earn another $500 by writing. In the moun- -tains we could live on that. But health he must have. ~ Bess went to Lenox Wednesday afternoon and we are alone. Today I wrote asking Judge Wilcox if they could receive us about August 1st. Tom is better, though not well. Friday. Tom pretty well, but more cheerful. I must do my best to keep him so. We took a little drive, and Aunt Patterson & Cousin Mary spent the evening morning ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p205.jpg) * Copy this Egan * Friday afternoon. Messrs. Stenhouse and Egan, Mormons both, dined with us. Egan is an exceedingly noble looking fellow, who has been devoted to Tom. He was speaking of his detention in Phila (where he is waiting for a despatch from Tom to B. Young) and Tom said "You haven't regretted it, have you?" He answered "Well, I had my doubts for a while. — when I thought something might have happened, it did seem hard to be shut up here, losing my privileges. After a fellow's been trotting in the snow all winter, it is rather hard he shouldn't be allowed to lay a finger on them." * Tom said "when the true history of the Peace came to be written, B. Young would receive due credit as the peace-maker" etc. After listening patiently till he ended, knitting his brows & folding his hands E.* said — "I have as strong faith in Bro. Brigham as any one, but I can't allow Mrs. K. and Mr S., who don't know the truth as I do, to believe that Gov. Cumming would ever have felt to enter the city without Johnston to back him, or been allowed to enter if he did <(with any other)?> without another man. (T.L.K.) You should have taken me to one side and said "Don't say anything while I speak" or else I had to tell the truth." — * Egan said Grace for us, as simply and Christianly as it could have been done. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p206.jpg) Egan July 26th * Look for I attempted to take his likeness, and Mr Stenhouse formerly a practical photographer made a similar attempt. His was worse than mine I am glad to say. Saturday. Occupied with Tom and the children all day. Sunday Robert Patterson spent the day. Mon- -day Mr. Egan came to take leave. I took a good portrait of him, also a copy of a Madonna of Carlo Dolci's. Tuesday we called on the Fox's Smiths etc — So the week passed. I did a good deal of copying for Tom, and made some flannel under garments for the children. Saturday, the 26th has come round, again. I write little in my diary, being busy. Today 95 I feel very sad. Charlotte sailed for Scotland sending one a note in which she says I was unjust and harsh in my judgment of her. Judge Cadwalader and Mr Biddle, the gentlemen to whom Tom referred the question of publishing or not publishing his a report of his: "Utah mission confirmed" Tom's own judgment. They dined with him today. I had my own little disappointment today. I had prepared three <3> dry plates at some pains and they floated off the glass; my collodion film being too thin. Messrs. Cresson and Fraley called here on Thursday ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p207.jpg) and Tom talked Mc. K. & E. affairs over with them. I wish they would give Tom Mr Struthers' place! Sunday. Heard quite a good sermon at the Baptist Church on ”Lunch not the Spirit.” I would have liked to hear what the minister had to say on "Despise not prophesysng"! Besides I wrote to Aunt Eliza, and to Papa. Charlotte sailed yesterday Monday. Went to town with Tom as he was anxious to work at the Mc. K. & E. Co’s office. I went in, chiefly to keep Tom company. Fusses both days. Goodness, how I hate them! Tuesday & Wednesday – had some drives with Tom, but I have forgotten all the other occurrences. Thursday — Heard that poor Becky had lost her baby. Two editors of "The Pennsylvanian" dined with us. Like all Tom's friends they were very anxious for him to pub- lish some full account of his mission. He assigns the following reasons for his refusal, to me, which I wish that others knew. He says his work is done, and may go for what it is worth. All he has to do with is his responsibility for the future. Every word he utters, good, bad or indifferent would be caught up in Utah and used to influence the public mind there. While he is silent they will wait and keep on the lookout for something from him for a good while. All this time they will be settling down, quieting their own apprehensions, and making ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p208.jpg) S. Bernardino (2) good the best of things. He says it does not come up to his idea of a "report to the nation" to give them either a partial or distorted electioneering canvasser's view of things. When it will be safe to tell the truth to the Americans, they shall hear the whole of it for their own good. They will have to know, for instance, what rascally treatment the Mormons have met with of late, and what excuse they had for rebelling. – <96> what an amount of mischief the Mormons have it in their power to do us, and probably, what a time-serving policy the present Administration is pursuing toward them. Anything of this kind from him would encourage the War party in Utah and proportionately depress the friends of Peace, whom it cost him when he was out there so much labor to rally. With regard to slights put upon him by the Administration, he will not see them. he says it is entirely too grave a matter for him to afford to perceive them. He thinks it would be wrong in him to see in the President either Buchanan or the head of the Democratic Party. Patriotism requires him to look upon him as the Chief of his nation and help him, when he is not doing wrong, by all the means in his power. The real interest of the Mormons cannot suffer, he thinks, if he keeps Brigham Young confidentially ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p209.jpg) posted up where it is necessary. But besides all this, I know Tom would never write everything out, because he would just do as he always does — feel mercifully to scamps when he had them in his power, and toning down his language would let the fire and spirit of his story es- cape him. Friday. Wrote part of an account letter to Papa. Tom's letters to Judge Black and the President went off today or rather yesterday evening. Wrote at Tom's dictation. In the afternoon the fierce brooding heat was broken by a violent gust. Among others it broke off the largest limb of the lightning scathed oak in front of the entrance door. In the evening we drove to visit the Dunlaps. Saturday. Tom went to town. I took advantage of his absence to put his study in complete order again. Friday Evening. My first writing for a week. I have had inflamed eyes, and have hardly done anything. Yesterday I went to see little Bessie Patterson* at the Idiot Asylum, and today delivered my report of the visit to her poor dear mother. Tom was somewhat exer- -cised this week. He is anxious to obtain this place in the Mc. K. & E. Co. as agent. Of course he ought to be in favour with the Board. Now ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p210.jpg) Mr Cresson informed him that Dalson had dis- -covered a valuable coalbasin in the S.W. part of the Company’s lands (where Tom advised his digging by the way) The Company therefore wish to urge the adoption of the Iron Creek route by the S. & E. Rr as it would bring the road through this portion 97 of their property. Tom knows this to be a ruinous route for the S. &. E. R.R. He Is known to have discovered two better ones: shall he go against all his interests (both as candidate for the agency, and as interested in Mc K & E. stock) and announce that he must as a Director of the S. & E. oppose them? We thought so, and today he did so, at the same time that he spoke of becoming a candidate for the agen- -cy. May God give us this place if it be good for us! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p211.jpg) My Misfortunes. (IN PHOTOGRAPHY) First. Mr L. gave me the proportions for a 24 oz silver bath. I had only enough space for an 18 oz bath. I spoiled all that whole bath, and four pictures in it. That was my own fault. But Second. I prepared a new bath using the right pro- portions. To 18 oz filtered rain-water I added 1 oz 1 dr. Nitrate of Silver 2 oz 2 dr. acetic acid. Third. My gallic acid solution I prepared in accordance with Mr L's prescription. So also the weak silver solution. I had the iodide of potassium already prepared by Mr L. Fourth process. Second failure. Two plates silvered over-night a candle in the room at some distance (but with a feeble light shining near them); dried and put in the plate-holders in darkness. Exposed 5 min. in the camera, with the small diaphragm. Immersed in the iodine bath, in almost com- -plete darkness, one for 15 the other for 20 seconds. Washed immediately, then placed in the gallic acid. No image whatever made its appearance on the plate after about an hour and a half. The gallic acid solution beginning to grow turbid, added a few more drops of silver solution. No effect on the plates, but the solution began to deposit black, so threw it away. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p212.jpg) Fifth. Third trial. Having at no time noticed the opalescent, almost opaque whiteness of the plate, which I remember noticing in a plate Mr L. was developing and as no image making its appearance on the plate it occurred to me that perhaps my candle gave too much, and too white a light. The spoilt honey plates Mr L. prepared, spoiled by too much light were I remembered transparent like these. Accordingly, I have prepared a plate, that is to say, I have silvered one (and exposed it since) in the greatest obscurity, only allowing myself such a glimmer of candle-light as would prevent me from putting it in the wrong place. I gave it three hours to dry before exposing it. I now wait for darkness to attempt developing it. Sixth. In the meantime I have been reading Hunt. Photography. Page 279. Mr Malone says — "The next operation is to iodize the plate... as soon as the film has become yellow in color resembling beautifully stained glass,....... (plunge into the aceto nitrate bath). Allow it to remain until the transparent yellow tint disappears to be succeeded by a milky looking film of iodide of silver: Washing with distilled water leaves the plate ready for the camera." Now Mr L's process is to immerse the plate in iodide of potassium after leaving the camera, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p213.jpg) E. D. K's Notes on Photography) and before using the gallic acid. But he says "This however is not necessary, water answers nearly as well." Is not the iodization of the plate required at some part of the process to sensitize the plate? I believe that Mr L. once told me that the immersion of the plate at the time he does it is to quicken the develop -ment merely. Now if it is immaterial at this point must not the iodization if necessary at all, have taken place sooner? From the time the plate passes into my hands until it is exposed in the camera no iodide of potassium touches it. Can it have been iodized before? I think not. It comes to me a perfectly clear glass plate, apparently coated only with albumen. In my hands the only change of color is to assume the yellow tint, blue by reflected light of wh. I suppose Malone to speak. That he gives as yielding to the milky-white film of iodide of silver on immersion in the bath. And this before the picture is taken. Now my plate is still transparent and colorless when it comes from the plate holders. Query. Has not Mr L. committed an oversight? Ought not the plates to be iodized? Has he iodized them? Is it not possible that as Mr I. L. prepared [The following is written upside down on page] 1 Barrel Flour. Maple sugar Molasses. White sugar 1 Ham. Cheese. Cranberries Corn. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p214.jpg) the plates for me, and Mr W. L. wrote my directions that the latter supposed the plates already iodized, and the former supposed that the iodization of the plates would be included in his brother's directions? I don't think that the L's secret lies in their dry negatives but in their dry positives on glass. The reasons are too many to give, but lead me to believe that their processes on dry negatives do not differ much from those given by Hunt. Therefore if my plate utterly fails I shall try immersing the plates before putting them in the silver, in the iodide. I forgot to say that spoilt dry plates of Mr L's had the milky look at first. Under exposure to the sun they gradually reddened to a very beautiful colour. After a long time they became a purplish brown. I must try that too. See Hunt. P. 117. July 12. The plate I spoke of did fail. I tried making a solution of 65 gr. Iod. Potass. to 1 oz water and poured it of over two plates, washing one afterwards, and leaving the other as it was, until immersed in the aceto-nitrate bath. The unwashed changed to the milky colour, but irregularly, the film being quite thick in some places, and not at all ap- -parent in others. The washed plate remained apparently unchanged. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p215.jpg) July 22 July 29. Took out 6 oz from the bath (precipitated the silver with salt added 6 oz water 6 dr. Nitrate of silver. August 1. Prepare two plates on the 28th July, both of which were partially successful! The new bath does wll. Mr L's mistake in naming the proportions as 1 whole drachm, instead of a half drachm Acetic acid to the ounce of water caused my former misfortunes. The reason these plates and four I prepared today were only partially successful is because I did not wash some enough, and some were over exposed. Still I have pictures! August 7. Mr L. wrote me a letter by the aid of wh. I altered the Bath, and obtained those partially suc- -cessful plates. But I lost the letter, when I had only given it a cursory perusal, and now I am at as great a loss as ever Four very carefully washed plates are com- -plete failures. Two were washed, and placed in a gallic acid solution with hard water. No results. The pictures did not come out at all. Supposing that an aceto-gallate of lime might have been formed, I developed one which had both washings in hard water, but the gallic acid solution was in soft water Now this has failed. I have two plates left. One has been 2 min ½ exposed, the other 4. They have had their first washing in ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p216.jpg) hard water, but the second, and the gallic acid shall be soft. I hope these failures are owing to the hard water. Should these fail, I have two more prepared, in which all the washings are soft. If they fail I don't know what can be wrong. It puzzles me more than ever that those of August 1st should be successful. They were so carelessly pre- -pared that I don't know whether hard or soft water was used. August 10. One of each of these above-mentioned plates I developed successfully! I think they want strength so I have put more Acetic acid in my bath. I am wild to try the effect, but I have overworked and Tom says, Rest! August 21. Tried four plates prepared after dark by candle-light thoroughly well washed, etc. Having used spring water once before with success in part of the washings, I used it altogether. No pictures came out at all. Next time endeavour to exclude candle-light, & use rain water entirely. Never say die! I have sent to Phila for fresh gallic acid. September 3rd The rain water gave me successful pictures. I now want to remove a silver deposit (metallic silver) of the cause of wh. I am uncertain. Turn to Page B ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p217.jpg) Mr L.'s Dry Plates "The albumenized plates are to be silvered. This bath is prepared by dissolving 30 gr Nitrate of silver (I have 40) in each oz of water for the Bath After this is dissolved by shaking, ½ drachm of acetic acid to the oz water is added, and well shaken together. The plates are immersed in this Bath with the same precautions as the Collodion plates require, viz: a slow but steady immersion and an up and down motion after they have been in the Bath a few seconds. The surface of the bath is also examined fre- -quently, and if foreign matter is observed to swim on top it is to be filtered or black spots might be the consequence. The plates remain in the bath about 2 minutes, somewhat less in warm weather, and longer in cold. They are then placed on blotting paper to drain for about 2 minutes and then well washed by pouring a gentle stream of water on them. Then they are placed again on fresh dry blotting paper, and left till dry. One night is sufficient, and they are fit to be used. They will keep very well, even if moderately ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p218.jpg) well washed for one week, and several weeks longer if perfectly well washed. After exposure they are placed in a solution of Iodide of Potassium — (a week solution of silver to which Iod. Potass. is added—) This however is not necessary, water answers nearly as well. After a good washing of front and back they are placed in a solution of gallic acid. Of this a small quantity is placed in half as much water as you intend to use, and after repeated shaking the solution is filtered and an equal bulk of water added. Enough of this to cover a negative is poured into a tray and about 30 drops of a weak silver solution added. 12 gr. Nitrate of silver to 1 oz water and ½ dr. Acetic acid. When the developement is completed it is treated exactly like a negative on wet Collodion. except that it does not require varnishing The strength of Hyposulphite of Soda is im- material 1 to 5 is very efficient. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p219.jpg) Toning solution for the Positive ½ gr. Chlor. Gold to 1 oz water, and two drops of Muriatic acid. Printing Positives 1. The best paper for this purpose is known in commerce by the name — Paper Saxe. 2. After cutting the paper to the proper size, and marking the best side, this side is floated on a solution in the proportions. Chloride of Ammonium 20 grains Iodide of Potassium ½ grain. 1 oz Soft Water, for two minutes each sheet, and hung up to dry. In this state the paper keeps any length of time. (Common salt and water may be used instead of this solution.) 3—Before printing the sheets are floated, with the prepared side down, for two minutes on a solution of Nitrate of Silver 90 Gr. 1 oz soft water 4 — After drying, the prepared side is laid next the prepared side of the plate and exposed to the light. 5. When upon examination the tone of the pic- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p220.jpg) tures appears a few shades darker than the wished for tone of the print, it is removed in the dark, and immersed in water containing some little common salt. 6. From this it is removed into a solution of Hypo-sulphate of Soda 1 oz Soft water 5 oz into which a solution of Nitrate of Silver 15 gr Soft water ½ oz which has been poured in and well shaken 24 hours previously. In this the proofs remain one hour at least, or longer if much over-printed. After they have come up sufficiently, they are immersed in Hyposulphite of the same [-] strength but without the silver for 15 minutes. 7. They can now be washed with hot or cold water if with the former 4-6 times, if with the latter several hours. They are then hung up to dry. Drying them at a hot fire or smoothing with a hot flat iron improves the tone. 8 Mount them on card board using starch paste. When the paper is salted with common salt, do not use the Nitrate at all. Until the sweet taste leaves the proof. Albumenized paper has a little acetic acid in the silvering solution ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p221.jpg) Honey Collodion Plates. A solution of 1 part of honey to 1 of water is made, and filtered. After the plate has been coated with collodion, it is plunged in a water-bath for two minutes and then coated with the honey solution, just as it was with collodion It is then placed to drain. The time of taking exposure is from 45 seconds to 2 minutes. In developing they must again be immersed in water to dissolve out the honey. They are developed with Pyro gallic acid. NB Though albumenized plates should be washed after silvering, and also immersed either in water or weak iodide of silver before developing, it ruins collodion plates. These plates, if well washed will keep more than a week. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p222.jpg) Collodion plates. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p223.jpg) Copied from the "North British" for June 1857. "To thee, O dear, dear country! Mine eyes their vigils keep; For very love, beholding Thy happy name, they weep; The mention of thy glory Is unction to the breast, And medicine in sickness, And life, and love, and rest. O one! O only mansion! O Paradise of joy! Where tears are ever banished, And joys have no alloy; Beside thy living waters All plants are, great and small, The cedar of the forest, The hyssop of the wall. Thy ageless walls are bonded With amethyst unpriced, Thy saints build up the fabric, And the corner stone is Christ. Thou hast no shore, fair ocean! Thou hast no time, bright day! Dear fountain of refreshment To pilgrims far away. Upon the Rock of Ages [The following is written on right side of page] Note: Her diary says her husband did not like her reciting this "To Thee, o dear dear country" ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p224.jpg) They raise thy holy power; Thine is the victors laurel, And thine the golden dower. They stand, those halls of Syon, Conjubilant with song, And bright with many an angel, And many a martyr throng; The Prince is ever in them, The light is aye serene; The pastures of the blessed Are decked in glorious sheen. There is the throne of David, And there from toil released, The shout of them that triumph, The song of them that feast; And they, beneath their Leader, Who conquered in the fight, Forever and for ever Are clad in robes of white." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p225.jpg) "Death and Life In wondrous strife, Came to conflict sharp and sore; Life's Monarch, He that died, now dies no more. What thou sawest, Mary, say, As thou wentest on thy way? "I saw the slain one's earthly prison; I saw the glory of the Risen, The witness-angels by the cave, And the garments of the grave. The Lord, my hope, hath risen, and he shall go before to Galilee." We know that Christ is risen indeed Thou victor Monarch for thy suppliants pleas ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p226.jpg) To enable the acid to take hold more readily. Either hard water or want of washing. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p227.jpg) B After the successful pictures I spoke of, I was un- -successful again, then again successful, then again, yesterday, the 12th Septr unsuccessful. I no- -tice that all my pictures even the best are strongest on one side where the albumen is thicker, and I fancy that the plates are grown too dry. There is scarcely a trace of picture on the other side, but a marked line very often separates the two. I hope that it will prove to have been partly the fault of my plates that I succeeded so ill: that the extreme dryness of the air here may have dried my plates too much. As my attempts at Teutonia were so bad I shall attempt it again, and carry the plates to Mr L. to be developed. Questions to ask him. Why is the immersion in weak iodide, not necessary. What is it for? What is the water for. What is the acetic acid in the bath for? " " " " " developing solution for? What caused my silver streaks. October 28. Langenheim says my plates were spoilt. Hurrah! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p228.jpg) At first he told me that it was owing to the placing of the newly albumenized plates in new boxes the resinous exudation effecting a chemical change in the plates, and preventing the nitrate of silver from remaining on them. Just now he writes me — "I think I have discovered the reason your plates spoiled. It was the washing." I have not seen him to ask what this means. Wishing to take some pictures of Whitby, I obtained from Mr Langenheim four dry Collodion plates. The time of exposure, he wrote me, must be, if the day were fine and the object well illuminated, from 45 seconds to 1 minute, and if the day were cloudy, from 1 minute and a half, to 2 minutes. The first pictures, of Whitby house, barns, and trees round, took 50 seconds each. The last two of Whitby gable end, and an octagonal smoke house, were one 1 minute, and the other, 55 seconds. They were developed the same evening, being taken from the holders, and at once placed in a dilute solution of gallic acid, with a few drops of aceto-nitrate of silver solution. The two first developed very slowly, and have a very indistinct look. The sky of one has a large blank space on which there is no impression. The third looks the best though perhaps the contrasts ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p229.jpg) are too deep. It also has a spoilt place in the sky. The fourth would have been a very good one but that the light struck in, and spoiled half of it. I have not printed them yet. Mr L. explained — I think he is mistaken December 20th Such a long time since I have done any work at my photography! I have had some dis- -appointments, not from my fault fortunately. Mr L. showed me today how to take instantaneous collo- dion portraits, strengthening them afterwards. And also how to prepare Dry Collodion Plates. See Page. December 26th Yesterday I gave away 24 Photographs. 4 or 5 Dry Collodion, some wet collodion, some albumenized plates, and developed variously with Gallic acid, Pyro gallic acid, and Proto sulphate of iron, and fixed, some with Hypo sulphite of Soda, some with Cyanide of Potassium. I am going to try keeping a register. Mr Guillon presented me with some dry plates. On one I took a good picture. The rest spoiled by having attempted to develope with bad gallic acid purchased at Becker's. I must get it at John's ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p230.jpg) Subject Sort of Plate. Developer Fixer Whitby house & barn Mr L's Dry Collodion Gallic acid Hypo sulph soda " " " " Whitby house " Smokehouse " Butler Place My Dry Collodion " " Greenhouse " " " Bridge Fern Rock " " Cyanid of Potass. Hill view of House " " " Gate. " " " The house near new building Wet Collodion Prote sulphate of iron Cyanide of Potass ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p231.jpg) Time of Exposure Remarks. 50 sec Being distant subjects, time too long of Nos 1. & 2. No 3 Near view about 5 sec too short " No 4. just right in time. Mr L. let them grow a little too dry 1 min. before silvering, and consequently there were several clear 55 sec. places and in rather unfortunate places. 45" Very good time. These my first dry plates were a little too dry 1 min. Too short by " on the edges but made very tolerable pictures. 1.15 sec. These were all put in a tray which had been used for a 45 silvered paper solution, and though it had been rinsed, it 1 min. made an immediate deposition of silver, injuring all the plates. The bride was however quite a good picture. The time of it was good, and the deposit of silver injured only the lower part. It kept well, having been taken on Thursday, though I coated it on Monday. Mr L. only has tried two, and once three days. It was coated on the edge with albumen as my collodion tears easily. The others were not edged with albumen. I don't know what was the reason they were so very bad, whether they had too long or too short a time of exposure, or what, but they were extremely feeble. 9 seconds. On first pouring the developer over the picture show out at once. I poured the cyanide over immediately and a deposit of green crys- tals was the result. 8 seconds. Filtered the cyanide and washed the plate before pouring it on. The picture was now clean but feeble. Had it been a plate developed with pyro-gaillic acid I should have said the time of exposure was too long. I am unacquainted with proto-sulphate of iron, and must ascertain my time better. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F10_p232.jpg) The foxes have [---] holes, the buds of air Their nests when day is done, the Son of Man Had nowhere but the Cross to lay his head T T. S. K Thomas ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p002.jpg) RHOADS & SONS, [Seal] LONDON Patent Memorandum Book, WITH METALLIC PENCIL ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p003.jpg) #310 165 Aut V. Re' Thursday May 29 31 Thursday June 2— 23 ” " 9 -8 " " 16– 30 " " 23- 11 30- 49 July 7 Monday May 23 Monday July 11 [written vertically along right margin downward] St Andrews 8th above Spruce E. D. Kane Diary when first married 1853. St Andrews 8th above Spruce [written vertically on center of the page towards top] Bessie D Kane Left Washington 5 o’clock A.M. in the Steamer Baltimore saw Johnny Kent and his party. Came up after a  while and addressed me as Mrs Kane. Mount Vernon from the [---] – Cars at Acqui[--] Creek ran over the tongue of land described by Dicke[---]. Fredericksburg Farmer's Hotel   [---] 10 Taylor’s coach. Virginia Road. Nottingham Mayfield – Doors always open, wood fire. Amt Betsy – adopted children. Kanes to wait – Mon Dinner – Drawing the Time. [---] [---] – Wash with C.T. [---] T[---] of the Blue Mountains. Negro   [---] – House Servants Field Hands 7800 acres [---] Jassamine Lilen. Evening servants in the morning. [---] Penelope Town Squirrel. [---] [---] Leave at 8 a.m. Go from Fredricksburg to Richmond. Poor Country. Sara Havey washing in the July Talk with C.T. Richmond - Exchange hotel - Capitol. [---] Saw Kents again Of the James River. Toms chili. Visit the C[---] R[---] right  Left [---] [---] [---] for Hickory Hill – meet friend of C. Gorman’s. Mrs W. Pike Aunt Mary. Sing[-] Mr Lee. Walk in the evening - spoke of [---]. Hen. Taylor. Orange Flowers. Breakfasts in  Virginia – Walk to the Quarters. Stay Party – The Chamber. Sunday Schools ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p004.jpg) Mosquito Sermon - Lee Carter - Talk with W- Jr- Morning at Hickory Hill. Farewells. Ride from there to Philadelphia. See the Capitol at W— Stopped six miles from B— Arrival at 3 a. m. 1st May Sunday. Waked at 12. Dined with the K. C. T went to church with me at St Stephens. Sang "Glory to thee"—Took walk. Sang in the evening Monday — Very busy, unpacked all my boxes but one, and wrote to Walter. Visits from the Pattersons and a Mrs Grund, Walked with the Judge and Cousin Pat. Read Elisha's book in the evening. Tuesday- very tired. Walked in the evening with Cousin Tom and stayed till about ten at the Kanes. Unpacked my books in the morning, and saw Mrs and Mr. Mis[-] and Mr Darrey & Lizzie Mitchell — Wednesday - Saw quite a number of people — Sixteen in all. Tom came home early to fix Tot and Walter’s room Thursday - heard that they were not coming. Tom promised to take me to bring Tot. Mr Greeley invites us to stay with him - Go to the widow's may party. Flowers presented me. Read Bleak House to Tom. Friday — Nothing during the day Evening went to the Dunlaps [-] tupid time — at night - I trust I may never forget it; Tom behaved so nobly. God bless him. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p005.jpg) Spent in seeing callers. Elisha returned home. Sunday May 8. Went to church in the morning with the Kanes. Tom went to the door with me. I have need of guidance from on high God give it me - Read the “Children of the Lord’s supper” to my darling husband in the afternoon who indeed fell asleep in the middle. We spent the evening at the other house singing hymns. Monday - Received a letter from Papa saying that Tot could not come. I feel hurt and so I see does Tom. but I hope the matter will be explained satisfactorily my darling promises to take me to New York tomorrow. May 10. Rose early. Poor Tom had been quite unwell in the night but the darling insisted on going, so off we started. We found that we would be too late for lunch at home so we dined at Taylor’s where we resolved never to go again. The time seemed so long till we reached 16th Street. Then I ran upstairs, surprising them all, and what a talk ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p006.jpg) we had! I found that I could urge them on, got Tot and Harry in the carriage, drove them down town, met Papa and obtained his permission for them to go with us. We had a storm as we returned, and were tired enough to go to bed at once. May 11 - Spent at home. Poor Tom had a bad headache and the girls were so late that he had to go off without his breakfast. He and I lay down in our own rooms after dinner, and slept till tea- time. The girls went to an academy exhibition. Pat took tea with us. May 12 - My birthday up early. Ran over and kissed the Kanes and when I returned found my darling with Lilies of the Valley and a dear kiss for me. God bless him, and make me a good wife to him. I hope this year will be passed more usefully than others, and that I may help to make people happy, Tom above all. Oh how I love him, the dear ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p007.jpg) noble fellow. I think I fall more in love with him every day. If he will only keep loving me, my own dear husband. - In the afternoon we took a long drive, passing one of the Penn’s old places, and crossing the Schuylkill drove a little way beyond Laurel Hill. I enjoyed the drive excessively. The roads were badly cut up, and Tom said that it was one of the best opportunities in the world for learning to drive, and that I was going to be a good driver, — I arranged with a Mr Simon to take German Lessons. We begin tomorrow — In the evening we went to the Mitchell’s and spent quite a pleasant evening. -May 13. Took my first German Lesson. He did not set a very hard one for me, and I concluded by thinking that I should find it quite an easy study. Sally Butler called. Then Cousin Tom came home to lie down before dinner, I asked him to tell me that I might read him to sleep after dinner. He refused laughingly, and I must needs be hurt without thinking of it. It cast a shadow over the day. We dined at the Kanes and after dinner Bess, Tom, and Tot began singing. It always makes me a little melancholy to hear them, and in my present mood made me quite sulky. So I went and sat by the window, and tried to scold myself back to cheerfulness I was just succeeding when ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p008.jpg) Tot noticed me and brought me over to the piano. This set me off again, and I rose when the time came for us to walk in a resigned bad humor. Tom followed me over, and took me into his room, made me sit on his knee, and petted me as if I had been good and some one had ill-treated me. So he put me in a good humor, and off I set with Harry. We went to see Mrs Mary Gray, and then to Fontaines the shoemaker’s. When I came home I went into Tom’s room, to wake him that he might dress. He made me sit down beside him as he lay on the bed and so I petted him, and repeated Tennyson, and the time passed so quickly that we were startled by the tea-bell at the other house. — Miss Maralester, Wm. Moss and Mrs Mitchell and Dr Cleker were over there. I think Tot was delighted with the Patter. One resolution a week. May 11, Judge Kane gave us a beautiful Family Bible, I took another German Lesson and changed my yesterday’s opinion Ach! What a horrid language. May 15. Tot and I went to church in the morning with the Kanes. In the afternoon I stayed at home thinking I would go to sleep read to Tom but he made me ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p009.jpg) go to sleep greatly against my will. Pat and Dr Mitchell came into tea, I was sorry for it as I don’t want com- -pany on Sundays. Monday May 15. The Judge’s fifty-eighth birthday. Tom and I returned two of our calls and in the evening we had all the Kanes, S Butler and two Mitchells. Tuesday May 16. A very hot day passed altogether in the house. We intended to sail on the Schuylkile but found it too rainy. “My Lord and God I may Turn from his heart away The world’s turmoil and lead him to my light Be it through sorrows nigh through rain or toil Thursday April 21st 1853 was my wedding day. It had rained hard the day before, when my cousin James Kent was married but it cleared off beautifully for me. Tot and I waked early, as might have been expected, and by six, the old lady was out walking. She had left a card pinned on the pincushion, with an encouraging text from the Bible. We had expected that I would feel dreadfully frightened, but I did not. I did not realise it I suppose. I was at prayers and breakfast for the last time, and then dressed and amused myself with not letting the hair-dresser know why I had my hair dressed. We were to be married at 12, About 10 a beautiful basket of flowers came for me from Dr Ruytern. About eleven I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p010.jpg) peeped from the window and saw the Kanes gradually arrive. At 12. they all but Papa C. M. and I went off. Oh how handsome my lover, not my husband yet, looked, as I saw him going into the carriage. I wore my brown foulard travelling dress, but a white bridal bonnet showed who I was. We got into the carriage, and when we got to chuch, had to wait some time in the vestibule. Then Cousin Tom came in, and gave me his arm, and we went up the aisle followed by the officious sexton who would interfere with suggestions that we should walk slower, and that Cousin Tom should leave his hat behind Then came the ceremony which semed to be beautiful but which I have forgotten now. Only I remember my feeling when Tom grasped my hand, as we plighted our faith to each other, and his kiss at the end, the first my husband ever gave. Then I turned round. Nearly all the children were in tears, but every one pressed round and kissed me. Then Tom put me in the carriage and we drove home first. I felt so proud of him, and yet so shy, and I had so many feelings rushing over me at once ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p011.jpg) that I did not care to speak much. Whenever I looked at him, the sound of his “yes” seemed to ring in my ears, so low it was, yet so distinct and firm making me feel as if indeed he promised to take care of me and I could trust him so implicitly. The beautiful darling, how handsome he looked. — We reached home, and entered the drawing-room and he folded me in his arms and made me pray for God’s blessing on us both. Then I ran upstairs to change my bonnet. Tot came for me soon and we went down into the drawing-room where were cake and wine. Then the Kanes went away. Henry was baptised, and Tom and I drove off. We went first to see poor Elisha whose rheumatism had prevented him from being present, and I was introduced to Mrs Henry Grimmell, I was very glad that I went to see Elisha for he seemed so pleased to see us. Then we drove to the boat, Cousin Tom putting my wedding ring on my finger as we drove down Broadway. Johnny, Bessie Pat and Mrs K. went with us. New York never looked so beautiful to me, but once before, as the dear shore receded ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p012.jpg) from my view. About seven o’clock we reached Philadelphia. C.T. took me first to a church through which we wandered in the twilight, and then we turned towards my new home. He told me that I had married a poor man, and must expect to find but a shabby home, wooden chairs and Ingrain carpets in the only two furnished rooms. When we reached the house and entered the cheerfully looking hall, he said to me here is one room, darling, opening off the hall. He showed me into a dining room beautifully furnished, then into a drawing room whose gorgeousness took away my breath, then into two other pretty rooms, and finally into my own bedroom, which looked just like a fairy palase fit for the Sleeping Beauty with its rose colored hangings its statuettes and vases, and marqueterie furniture. When I had admired it sufficiently, we went over to the other house to take tea. Miss Mary Gray and Helen Patterson were there. The days until Monday after my wedding were passed ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p013.jpg) at home. At the time I thought myself happy, but looking back upon them, now, they seem miserable compared with my present happiness. On Monday we started for Washington which we reached in the evening. We stayed there one night and then started on the Virginia trip already described Tacetur 18th May Wednesday The day was not so warm as yesterday, but still quite a “screamer.” Tom and I had our only little dispute today. I wanted to read to him, while he went asleep and he refused to let me, so I threw down the book and left the room and he ran after me, and begged me to come back but I was cross to him and so we both went off in a fret, But the darling came and made up with me, making me feel ashamed. Drove with Sallie Butler to the Retreat. Called in the evening on the Dunlaps & Mitchells ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p014.jpg) Thursday 19 — The last day of my honey- -moon. Dear Tom, my love has gone on increasing for him, steadily, May it always do so. God bless him. We went to New York with Elisha this morning who sails on Tuesday Friday 20. Tom returned this afternoon Lizzie & Letitia Mitshell spent the evening with me. Satuday 21 Took my German lesson. Went to call on Mrs Rush. Walter came to take the girls home on Monday. Dr. Adamson dined with us. Spent the evening at the Kanes. Sunday 22. Tom had a fit of ague poor fellow. Walter and I went in the morning to Dr Ducachets. May 23 Monday. Today at 2 the girls Walter and Bess left me. I felt quite sick - In the evening read Bleak House to Tom in our own room. Tuesday <24> Commenced packing for my remove to the country. Expect Tom to go to New York tomorrow On monday Tom first occ[--]ed [---] [---] [---]. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p015.jpg) Sunday June 5 or [-] I find quite a long interval has elapsed since I wrote last. I have been too much occupied to think of writing. Elisha sailed, Tom was away in New York and Washington for a week. I moved out to Germantown where I now am and Bessie Kane returned from New York. I have been quite sick, and very unhappy because I knew that I was to become a mother. Full of fears and anxieties, quite forgetful of God, But last night in his mercy he sent me the remembrance of his word - Casting all your care upon him for he careth for you” and then I dreamed a happy pleasant dream about my baby. I am glad dear Cousin Tom is so pleased with the idea. I wish I could rid myself of the presentiment that I have always had that its life will be purchased with my death. If it be so I hope it will be a comfort to poor Cousin Tom. I went to church this morning. In the afternoon read In Memoriam to Cousin Tom, and in the early evening walked with him afterwards, hymns were sung till bed-time. Monday June 6th Went into town this morning to take my last German lesson for the present as it makes me very sick to go into town. Wrote to Papa. In the afternoon went greatly against my will to Fern Rock but as I had to go, made up my mind to try and make Lucy Croush’s time pass favor pleasantly. In the evening I did some little sewing, for Mrs K. and was coming down stairs in a complacent mood when Cousin Tom met me with a beetle which he said he would put on my neck ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p016.jpg) to make me conquer my cowardly fear. It was so different a reception from what I expected or hoped that I felt more frightened than usual at the beetle, and ran away upstairs, bolting the doors and here I now am. I don’t know what the end will be, but I feel hurt, though I suppose that I am in the wrong. At any rate I will just go to bed and say my prayers and hope that that will tranquille my feelings Of course it turned out so — Tom was so sweet and made me feel ashamed of myself. Tuesday - 7 Went-out to Fern Rock with Lucy Crouch. Dull day. Read A. Smith’s Poems. Wednesday 8 To my surprise and delight dear Papa came out to see me, dined with us here and then returned home. He thought me looking thin. - Tom was sick Thursday 9 Not very well — In the afternoon Johnny Bessie Lucy & I drove to the Wissahickon— Friday 10 Went into town to see about my preserves. Dear Tom is so careful of me — I wish I could sympathise more fully in his feelings about our baby, but I think I am learning — Saturday — 11th Took a most exquisite walk ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p017.jpg) with Cousin Tom, along School House Lane to the Wissahiccon and then across the Schuylkill at Manayunk and up its banks. We brought home moss for Fern Rock. I never saw anything more beautiful than the effect of the sunlight on the hills as the clouds broke away Sunday June 12 Went to the Episcopal church in the morning and was quite used up. Slept part of the afternoon and read Taylor’s Holy Dying. In the evening read the Bible and In Memoriam to Tom. He made me tell him why I did not want to have children; and he said ours would most probably be goodlooking and healthy, if I only took care of my own health and maintained my cheerfulness So I shall try, and see if my darling little baby will be strong. June 19 Dear me it is another Sunday, and I find that I have forgotten to write anything down. Nothing of any importance happened. Elisha’s vessel was spoken on the 15th having made very good Easting — I had one long drive with Cousin Tom who was so tired that I have resolved to give them up in future. On Friday we took tea at the Mitchell’s. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p018.jpg) On Saturday morning I went into town, and brought out different little ornaments and Elisha’s picture, got flowers, and Bess bought pink curtains which I made up and we nailed them up in Pat’s room making it look quite pretty — Aunt Eliza invited me to Roschel but I shall not go. Monday 27 A day said to be the hottest we have had all summer. I could do nothing with myself except take baths. Read Bleak House to Cousin Tom in the afternoon. Delightful letters from home. Tueasday 28 - Another hot day. They say the Rail Road will run right through Fern Rock completely destroying it as a dwelling place. I was twice there to day, first with Mrs K — and then with Tom. The last was a delightful drive, as drives with him always are. Wednesday 22 - Yesterday, two months I was married. Dreadfully hot day. Learnt my German lesson. Thursday 23 Resolved to leave off lying down so much and found myself much better, though the weather was dreadfully hot. Took tea with the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p019.jpg) Dunlaps. As soon as we returned home came a dreadful thunder shower which however cooled the air. Friday 24 – Felt delightfully well. Walked down to the cars with dear Tom. Rode to Fern Rock. Went to meet Tom at the 12 o’clock cars but he was not there. Went to meet Bess. Went again to the 2 P.M. cars for Tom. met him. After dinner he and I drove to the Devil’s Pool A most delightful day had it not been clouded by dear Tom’s being over-fatigued, Saturday -25. Went into town. L.A. Crouch left us. — Packed. Sunday 26 - A very pleasant one Walked to church - How dearly I do love Tom! Monday 27 - Left early, Reached New Rochelle in the rain. They were delighted to meet us. Tuesday 28 Dear Tom evidently feels the weather’s influence Would to God that he were better, he does not find ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p020.jpg) himself well enough to leave Wednesday 29 Tom still sick - However he went to bathe with Millie and I afterwards went with the rest. I had a delightful bathe, but returned home quite blue. I went to inquire after Tom. he was alarmed about me, rubbed my limbs, made me lie down until dinner time, stretched himself upon me, saying I looked like a drowned person. - A very pleasant drive in the afternoon. Tom took us to some ice-cream place near the shore Thursday 29, 30 A dull hot day. In the evening we intended to drive but it rained too hard. Tom’s ague continuing 1st July Friday Tom went down to see them bathe, though I did not go in myself. I told Cousin M - about apollyon Saturday 2nd July. Papa utterly refuses to let Tot go back with us. Tom went up the river I believe — to see Horase Greeley, and quite enjoyed himself, a walk with Tot, Walter and Millie, and Tom and I cheered each other. Sunday 3rd July Tom and I accidentally hurt each other’s feelings about his going to church, but we made up, and went together, and walked together afterwards. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p021.jpg) Ah how sweet a Sunday it was I so seldom have the happiness of enjoying his dear society fully on Sundays. And to hear his voice singing as I sat in church. God bless him. I seem if possible to love him more every day. I wonder if my baby, his child can ever be so dear. It will be because it is his, if I do love it as much. Now I hope it will look like him, have his beautiful eyes, and more than all his noble nature. - We told each other of the faults we remembered in the past week and of our resolutions for the next. I intend to try and make the Kanes cheerful, and to do all is my power to make them happy. At night I bid Harry Helen Cousin M— and the babies goodbye Monday July 4, Breakfasted at half past five. Bade Tot Walter and Millie goodbye and started for New York, which we left at 8 for Philadelphia, as Papa bade us goodbye he slipped into Tom’s hands a paper with Mamma’s name on it, for baby. But Tom will name it after me. There were about five people in the cars. The Kanes were delighted to see us, and gave me a most affectionate welcome. Intended to have begun keeping my resolution by staying with the family in the afternoon, but miss[--] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p022.jpg) Tom I stole upstairs and found him in sightless pain with ague. I knew I could soothe the darling to sleep, and perhaps that might dull the pain, so I sat drawing my fingers through his hair, he soon fell asleep with one arm thrown across my knee so that I could not move without waking him so I sat there patiently till tea-time, and when he waked was rewarded by his kisses and by hearing that he was better. I spent the evening in talking to Bessie. Tuesday July 5th Drove over to leave Bessie at the Mitchell’s. Called there. Tried to make myself useful to Mrs. Kane (I hear from Tom that she was pleased) Read to Tom in the afternoon, Mrs K, the Judge, and myself with Tom walked in the evening. Made a mat for Bess at her request. Also joined in begging that Bess might be allowed to spend a week with the Mitchells’ Wednesday July 6 Mr and Mrs Constable spent the day here. Tried to amuse them. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p023.jpg) Left Bess at Sallie’s to spend the day, and also called on the Cud- -waladers, Johny Grew sick, and before evening the Kanes were quite alarmed. Still Tom and I had a quiet little stroll in the woods, and he told me he loved me more every day. God bless him; he can’t love me more than I love him. Thursday July 7. Johnny grew better. Bess went away to the Mitchells I spent the day in reading to Johnny helping with the stocking learning my German etc. Walked first with the Judge, then with Tom. What a happy week it has been! Friday 8. Tom who has spent two days at home went to town. Walked to the cars with him. We sang the Stabat Mater, and the following, for me, which he taught me to pronounse. “Resordare Jesu pie Quod suna cause tula vie Ne me perdas ilia die, Quaeren, me sedisti lassur Redemish crusen passur Tantus Cabor non sit cassui.” —Helped Mrs Kane, read aloud to Miss Betsy, mended my dress and drew, before dinner ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p024.jpg) after dinner, walked with Tom, drove with him and Johnny to Kersheem Creek, which flows through a beautiful valley, whose first settlers were of the force Anabaptist Gid. Dear darling Tom! He sang after tea to me, and there knelt beside me, and talked to me, God bless him. Saturday July 9 Rode to Fern Rock. Mended Tom’s shirts - Read and walked Sunday July 10 Such a hot day in the morning that I could not go to church. Read to Tom, and told him of a dream I had had about baby. We talked some time about his. There was a thunder- -storm in the evening, one flash of which startled me a great deal. Monday July 11 Mrs Kane made me be still till dinner-time as I was a little unwell, so I studied my German, and read Bancroft’s United States and Benvenuto Cellini’s Life. Feeling well I rose and dressed for dinner, at which meal I felt a slight dumb pain. Mrs K. had to go into town but made me promise to lie on the sofa till she returned. I lay down and talked with Johnny and read ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p025.jpg) Bleak House to Tom. Bessie and Letitia Mitchell came to see us. Succeeded in concealing from them that I was ill. Afterwards Dr & Mrs Patterson during whose visit I felt worse and worse worse, and after they were gone went up to lie down. Tom undressed me laughing heartily at his feeling such intense pity for what I still persisted in denominating a “stomach ache.” When Mrs Kane came home she said, the Doctor must be sent for. I spent the night in great pain, only able to rest at all in Tom’s arms. Towards morning the morphia and camphor I had taken made me sick, which relieved me much, and I at length fell asleep, Dreamed I saw my baby looking most beautiful, and that its name was Hope Tuesday July 12. Awoke feeling perfectly well. Wrote to Tot informing her I had miscarried. Talked and read aloud in bed all day; talking and reading most when I felt most sad at losing my poor baby whom I had begun to love so much. Tom and I have this sorrow in common, and it draws us so near together. They buried it in the garden by the church- yard. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p026.jpg) Wednesday Morning July 13 Still feeling well. Lay in bed reading and sleeping Thursday July 14 Still well. Tom has brought me quantities of books. Dear fellow– Bess came home this evening. Letters from Papa and Walter Friday July 15. A note from Tot full of affection. She had written two letters but was afraid of sending them. — Still mending. Mrs Henry, a Germantown lady sent me a beautiful basket of flowers, and Sallie Butler another. Saturday July 16 Lizzy Mitchell came to see my bringing a beautiful bouquet of flowers Altogether a very happy week, but for the one loss, which has left me scarcely unhappy, but feeling so lovingly to all babies. I dream of them at night so often. — But I am thankful that this chance is given me of regaining my health and growing a strong woman. And if in the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p027.jpg) course of years God should bless me with a living child I shall know how great a blessing he grants me, and thank Him for it. I know now how wicked my feelings were when I was told I should become a mother, and I humbly pray Him to forgive me, and to teach me how to be a good true wife to my noble generous husband, and to supply the place of his lost child, in his heart. He has never recalled by word or look to my mind what he must remember his repeated warning to me cautioning me not to feel so thanklessly lest God should take away the blessing from us. And he has been punished for my sin. God bless him, and reward him ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p028.jpg) for all his goodness to me Sunday July 17 One of those “foretastes of eternal Rest” that sometimes give me such happy hours. Tom and I read part of a capital essay of Foster’s on the “Aversion of Men of Taste to Evangelical Religion.” Then I read to him the “Keble” for the day, and we read some Chapters of the Bible. Then he went down and sang for me the “Dies irae, Dies illa” & “Recordare Jesu pie” and also another favorite Latin hymn of ours about Jerusalem This occupied us till the rest came home from church. Then the Judge gave me an abstract of the sermon he had heard. After dinner I read part of the Evening Service, and learned “How fresh O Lord!” and “The clouds that wrap the setting sun.” Then slept till tea-time after which I talked awhile with Tom Bess & Emma Dunglison and then Bess and Tom went down and sang all my favorite hymns, and so to bed. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p029.jpg) Monday July 18 Tom said I had been too much excited yesterday and begged me to be quieter. So until twelve o’clock I lay perfectly still, in a frame of mind enviable, on account of its self satisfaction. Then Dr Betton called and said I might get up, so I did and surprised Tom when he came home. Little Emma Danglison brought me home some candy, and Tom, a slate which I had asked for. I spent a very pleasant day. Tuesday July 19. I have a great mind to write an account of my family and myself. I hear people talking of the advantage of having some accord of their family, and old people are generally asked to write it. Now my father knows more about it than any one else. Why shouldn’t I find out about it from him before he grows old. And I’m sure my chil -dren ought to be interested in my life, so I have a great mind to write it. - Changed my mind. July 20 Worked at my German and then wrote a long letter to Papa about Tot. Read aloud to Tom also ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p030.jpg) Wednesday, July 20 Lizzie Mitchell came to spend the day. Tom gave me a writing lesson. Worked at my German from 20 min. to 11 until 10 min. to 12. Then I wrote a long long letter to Papa about Tot. Tom says it will make him angry but that it is true, and it is best to send it. So I went this evening. I worked at my night caps Thursday. Tom the dear one stayed at home today & yesterday. He gave me his whole attention, reading and talking to me. He bought me a set of hanging bookshelves that I wanted. I was carried down stairs for a little while in the evening. Friday July 22nd Worked at my German for 2 hours. Translated the two first verses of Schillers Alpine Hunter. Bess and little Emma went to spend the day with the Mitchells. I am going to try to be good very hard. I was carried downstairs to dinner and again to tea. The Judge came home quite sick. – I had the sweetest kindest letters from Papa. Tot may be here next Thursday ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p031.jpg) Saturday July 23 Found by accident the next number of Bleak House in a newspaper and enjoyed it to the extent of a headache Disagreeable day so I can’t go out driving. Was sick, but read aloud in the evening. Sunday July 24 Staid sickn bed till half past 5. Tom and I read together and so I had a happy Sunday then he took me out driving. Monday July 25 Down to breakfast for the first time. Worked two hours at my German. Read Bancroft. Did part of a cake d'oyley After dinner rode out with the Judge. A great thunderstorm came up in the night Tuesday July 26 Worked two hours at my German finishing beginning Hector’s Farewell. Worked at my d’oyley. Worked as my account Bro[-]. Took a delightful drive with Tom up to Chesnut hill. Johnny came home. Wednesday July 29 Price Wetherill’s funeral occurring today. Tom and the rest went in to attend it. Tom wandered away - to Willie’s grave I suppose poor fellow, and came home looking very tired — I had a long drive with Johnny to Jenkentown Studied two hours, finishing Hector’s Farewell and commencing the Hymn to Joy. Made Bess quite a pretty toilet stand. And tried in vain — to fix Tom’s shelves ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p032.jpg) Thursday July 28. Studied Commenced two waists to replace my corsets. - Sallie Butler and George Ingersole spent the morning. Walter and Tot arrived Lizzie Mitchell came to stay. The two Butler’s spent the evening - Yellow fever here. Friday, July 29. Studied two hours. Sewed, crochid etc. Mended or rather altered one of my collars very nicely. Bess and Lizzy went into town for the School Fete. Tot and I talked a good deal. Weir Mitchell spent the evening with us. Walter, Tot Lizzy & Pat went to the Butlers. Saturday July 30 Had no time to study, being occupied in storing raisins making sandwiches etc. for the Pic Nic party, which Tom had got up. Then went to the Devil’s Pool and enjoyed themselves very much. The party consisted of Pat Walter, Johnny & Johnny Green, Miss Dyer Bessie Kane, Sallie and Fanny Butler, Lizzy & Tot. — Tom had hoped to be at home at ½ past 12 to spend the day with me but could not get out poor fellow. This and some little things made me very ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p033.jpg) naughty in the evening. I was cross, and did not help to entertain the party when they returned. But I was sorry and ashamed, and prayed God to forgive me for being anything but cheerful and contented with my lot, and grateful for his exceeding mercies, and loving to all about me, both for their kindness and because it is his law - Love thy neighbor as thyself - God help me to remember it. I was, shame upon me, snappish to dear Tom when he would have kissed me. I begged his pardon, the only thing I could do. Sunday July 31 I prayed for a happy Sunday and so far - it is now noon - I have had a very pleasant one. Tom and I have been reading together. He has gone down stairs to sing now, and I have time to think over my last week’s conduct and make my good resolutions for this. - I find myself growing up so pettish - speaking rudely to dear kind Mrs Kane when she takes the trouble of watching over my health. When I do my duty, only to please Tom, I find myself quite forgetful of God. I have ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p034.jpg) neglected my prayers, or gabbled them over quickly especially in the morning. I have been quite unmindful of others, and dreadfully selfish, and conceited, and uncharitable May God forgive me and give me a clean heart and renew my spirit within me. May He teach me charity, unselfishness, kindness and love to others. And make my heart full of love and gratitude to him. May I try to forget myself except in correcting my faults , and to remember others, and on that I may be a true loving grateful wife to Tom God bless him! — I must try to be extremely neat about my person— I have made some improvement in that, and as my realm is only two rooms now, to begin the order of housekeeping by keeping them nice. I have made two or three efforts to emerge from my selfishness and do things for the family, but I have always been rewarded, so there’s no merit in that. Besides it was only doing a little piece of duty— After dinner wasted my time till evening. Then read Foster again Began a review of McCrie’s Life of Knox. Joined in the evening singing. Monday. August 1. This close hot weather has, I hear brought the fever further into the town. God keep it from advancing! Tom would certainly think it his duty to go and nurse the sick. What would be mine? Could I not help him a little in nursing and cheer him in his labor, or is it my duty to remain here. I am sure I ought to go wherever Tom does. — I hope poor Weir Mitchell will not be overtaken by the pestilence. He dissected some one who died of it Saturday. I studied my first hour at exercises early, reserving the other hour by Tom’s ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p035.jpg) request till later in the day. After dinner, I drove with Tom the Judge Bess and Johnny to Fern Rock I was dreadfully cross because they put foots in. — I studied a short time after tea. Tuesday August 2 Finished the Hymn to Joy. Tom gave me a copy book to write my translations in, so I think I shall re-translate what I have already done, especially - disgraceful confession as I have quite forgotten them. I read a great deal of Bleak House to Tom. Walked with George Inqu[--] finding him quite pleasant Wednesday August 3rd Studied two hours. Worked a little at my crochet. Read to Tom. Called on the Dunlop and Mitchells with Mr and Mrs Kane. Made Mrs Kane a wash cloth. Thursday August 4 Mended my muslins for the wash. Tom was at home both today and yesterday, and yet I managed to persevere in my two hours study. I am glad of this as it give me hope of persevering. Then I read Bleak House, finishing the Seventeenth number, and afterwards Tom said something that hurt my foolish feelings unintentionally. So I cried and my darling begged my pardon on his knees. Then we read Thackerays lecture on Sterne and Goldsmith and in the evening Tom and Tot saw a ghost. Friday August 5. The day passed much as usual. I studied and worked, and had a nice little walk with Tom. meeting Tot, Lizzy & Weir ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p036.jpg) Saturday August 5. A very busy day. We were preparing for our proposed expedition to Bedford Springs on Tuesday. I scarcely believe it will take place however. Tot and Bess were working at dresses, and after I had studied my two hours/re-trans -lating Die Theilung der Erde, and Ritter Toggenburg I sat partly with the girls, partly with Tom, and shortened two petticoats. Finished a novel I had been reading - Heir of Redcliffe. Some scenes quite powerful - as the cant of criticism hath it - but upon the whole it might have been boiled down, leaving very little jelly behind. Besides Gum is unnatural, a sort of prosaic Sintram, Little Amy, and Charlie better. Laura and Philip the most natural I had a delightful walk with Tom, through the woods. Sunday August 7. Not allowed to walk to church yet. I am quite glad of it, for I have so enjoyed these Sundays spent with dear Tom. He is coming to read with me after I finish this. Poor fellow he has a dread- -ful headache. I must try to make him pass a happy Sun- -day. May we both have it! Dear Tom! God grant we may both meet in heaven at the end of our roads. — I notice looking back through the week’s diary continued petulance and soreness on my points of ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p037.jpg) ridicule when laughed at. And oh, such selfishness. I do try to conquer it however. And now, this week to try for constant cheerfulness and un- -selfishniss. I do hope that our expedition may be beneficial to us all. It was settled to change the day for our trip; Lizzie Bessie Charlotte Pat and myself start on Thursday. Tom and the Judge on Monday afternoon, a happy Sunday I had. Monday August 8. Poor Tom sick in bed. I worked rather more than the two hours. Sallie Butler dined here, Behaved foolishly. Tuesday August 9. My darling’s fever ran very high in the night, and he was sick all day, Sewed a good deal but could not study. Wednesday August 10 Tom a little better. Finished my waist, waited on him read to him, and packed. Thursday August 11. We stayed in Germantown until half past ten, and I stayed as long as I could by dear Tom. I was quite surprised to find how very hard it was to part from him even for these few days, but whenever I found the tears rising in my eyes I kissed his dear hand till I could wink them away. God bless him, my darling! We left Philadelphia at a quarter past two I think, and as there was a burden – train before us, did not reach Harris- -burg till 9 P.M. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p038.jpg) The route lay through a most beautiful Country, through which I have never traveled We passed first Powelton and that mined graveyard where dear Tom and I used to drive and dreams of him kept me from blue-devils. After we passed Paoli station we had glimpses of a most beautiful valley, and range of hills. This, the great Chester County Valley is one of the sights of Pennsylvania We came out, by a sudden turn, just as the sun was sinking upon the Sus- -quehanna below Columbia. What a beautiful river it is! I must ask my darling what the Indian name means and all about it. Dear fellow how glad I shall be to see him — — Friday August 12 We arrived at Harrisburg so late that we went to bed imme- -diately after tea. On rising this morning we discovered that it was if possible a hotter day than yesterday. So we stayed in the hotel reading and lounging till one o-clock when we dined. At 3 we left for Newville in the cars. We passed Carlisle where Tom went to College, and to saw both the College and the Methodist church. How I longed to have had him to tell me about them. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p039.jpg) at Newville we entered the parlor of an inn, to wait there for the stages. The furniture consisted of the most resplendent Windsor chairs, painted green with splendid wreaths of flowers. A real Kidderminster adorned the floor. There were two tables, with a dusty Bible on one of them. The glass was festooned with blue and pink ribbons, and on the walls hung the Father of his country of course and a small tombstone. We found two rickety stages and set off at half past four. The eight mules proved to be light and a bittock, Through beautiful hills however so it was better than might have been expected. When we reached the house we were ushered into the smallest dine in the world each furnished with a double and a single bed, a washstand and two chairs. Lizzie was so exhausted that she went to bed at once. We went down stairs, and sat on the piazza, listening to Katy Darling etc - sung dreadfully I thought how Tom would have suffered! - I took a little walk with Harry Wharton, and so to bed. Saturday August 13 Rising at 6 we felt quite sick from the closeness of the rooms We found that Lizzie, Bessie, Pat and all the Dunlaps but two had been so pestered with gnats that they had not been able to sleep. At breakfast we found everyone looking so ragged! Wonderful to relate I was the only one twho looked fresh ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p040.jpg) Mr. Dunlap went to see if we could get away in the afternoon, but no! Twenty four hours notice must be given; so we leave on Monday morning. Could we have a carriage? “There was one beast, but no machines.” - During the morning we found one shady place in the woods where we sat. I read aloud alternately Little Pedlington and the Doubling Gap guide. “Hail Pedlingtonia! Hail, thou favored spot! What’s good is found in thee, what’s not is not! Peace crowns thy dwellings, health protects thy fields. And plenty all her cornicopia yields.” The resemblance is striking. The spring in our tale of health is exactly like the one at Pedlington. We read the confession of a Robber who had inhabited this place. Coming here the driver told us of him. “Quite a noted free-booter?” said Pat. “No Sir, he butchered no one, he was a robber.” I got on quite a good way in my crochet. The afternoon I spent in reading Uncle Tom’s Cabin aloud to Bessie. And I went to bed very early with a headache after a few minutes walk with the party, up the Gap. Bess, Charlotte and Lizzy took baths. I may see Tom on Monday. Oh how delightful that would be! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p041.jpg) Sunday August 14. Rose at six, and spent half an hour before breakfast in the shade of the trees before the house I breakfasted, as I have done lately on bread and milk. Then we all sought cool places to wait in until the Church Service began at ten o’clock. I had such droll dreams. First, I was taken to serve three years on board a 74. My distress was great at having only one print dress, and fearing that my silks and bariges would all become tarry, until I was assured that three other young ladies had been pressed, and were to serve in pink muslins the last was that Tom was to leave me on some business he would not tell me about; for three years too. I longed so to speak to him, and once he began to tell me, but some one snatched him from me, and thenceforward he avoided me until I was quite heart- -broken. I find that on Monday I was pettish, because Sallie Butler hurt my feelings. The rest of the days I don’t think I was, but I fear it was only because no opportunity was given me. I wish I was less selfish! I hope I shall make Tom and the rest happier next week than I did last. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p042.jpg) We had the Presbyterian service and a sermon that recalled Foster’s Essay – to my mind. Oh how hot it is! This close little valley shut in by the Blue Mountains seems to simmer in the heat all day long. I am so glad Tom did not come! After dinner I slept, and re-packed. Then down to the spring where I drank another tumbler of sulphur water. In the evening we walked and sat on the piazza. There was a magnificent double rainbow Monday August 15 We rose at 5, breakfasted at 6, and starting by the stages were in Newville at ½ past 8. We reached Harrisburg at half past ten, but proposed that we should go on to Hollidaysburg, and as I had no real excuse to offer, I acquiesced with the best grace I could. But Mr and Mrs Dunlap said no, I was not strong enough to bear the journey, so Pat said at once that they would not go. However when we reached Holli- daysburg all Harrisburg all was changed again. Mrs Dunlap said that if I felt strong enough I could go, and I saw that every one was anxious to go. Thus the whole disagreeable of refusing to go was thrown upon me. I am sorry to write that I was pretty cross about it, for I felt tired and sick. Tot and all the rest were weary, and I thought it excessively foolish to go on. Besides it was so hard to give up seeing Tom after all ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p043.jpg) when a few hours would have brought us together. So I confess I was foolish enough to cry a little in my own room. Why can’t I live happy out of his sight! I am such a dreadful goose. We left Harrisburg at one o’clock, and reached the Mountin House Hollidaysburg at seven. We travelled on the new Central Rail Road along the Juniata. The road follows the windings of the river very closely so as to take advantage of the openings in the mountains through which the river passes. Soon after leaving Harrisburg it began to rain in fitful gusts. Then the sun would peep out for a while, and then fleecy clouds would roll down the hill sides and envelope us in mist. Sometimes there would be three successive ranges of hills wrapped in the mist, and I noticed in one place that the middle range looked much lighter than the others. (I must ask Tom about that, Bye the bye it will not be so beautiful when he comes.) There were high hills that looked as if they were crested with snow, while the Juniata reflected the darker sky, and the white foam of its little rapids looked beautiful. When we reached Hollidays- -burg we were three times as high above the sea as Harris- -burg. There were nice clean rooms, quite good fair, delicious air and clear pure water. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p044.jpg) Tuesday August 16 Took a delightful drive and saw the telegraph working. Our drive was along a plank road past the reservoir that feeds the Pennyslvania Canal It leads part of the way to Bedford. I saw Tom in the evening. Consequently all the events of the day were driven out of my head. Wednesday August 17 Started at eight o’clock on a 32 mile stage drive over a terrible road in a hard shower which lasted till 3. We then stopped, sick and tired, at a delightfully clean place and had a nice abundant dinner. Then Tom had hay put on the stage book and he and I rode there the rest of the evening. Oh it was a beautiful scene, especially as we neared Bedford and saw the moist wreaths on the mountains, looking as Ossian's shades of heroes did as they floated before Moma’s eyes. Bedford, a pretty quaint town as nesteled in among the Alleghanies, and a mile and a half, further on are the Springs. It is named after the Duke of Bedford who was in the ministry just before the Stamp act was passed, and who was grandfather to Lord John Russell Tom told me this and told me how Pittsburgh was named after William Pitt ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p045.jpg) Wilksbarre, after Wilkes and Colonel Barre, an Irish -man who defended the colonies in parliament. He bade me notice how Pennsylvannia counties were named after benefactors, and after England counties how sturdy the old state was, never currying favor with the Principalities and Powers, as Virginia did whose counties are named after royal governors, kings etc. Thursday, August 18 Drank a glass of Bedford water before rising. Wrote to Papa took a walk with Tom and then a delicious bath before dinner. After dinner worked. Poor Tot - “Trials must and will befall But with humble faith to see Love inscribed upon them all This is happiness to me. Trials make the promise sweet Trials give new strength to prayer Bring me to my Saviours feet Lay me low, and keep me there! Took a long walk in the morning. Bathed. After dinner took a drive. Had trouble in the evening Friday and Saturday August 19 and 20 Read and worked, drove, bathed and walked. On Saturday the drive was most beautiful, by Hickory Creek. Sunday August 21. Walked and read with Tom Did not feel as if I had spent a very profitable day. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p046.jpg) Monday August 22 The Dunlaps left us today. Tom and I had a delightful walk over the mountain. Mrs Kane hurt herself very much in the bath. Bathed before dinner. In the afternoon played Brownie in the girls’ room, read to Mrs Kane and knitted. I have finished one, and begun another, very pretty striped mat for Kelly’s birth- -day. The Rigolette I made at New Rochelle is for Harry. Its cost was $1.00 and the mats 31 1/6. Thus I have two pretty little presents without costing Tom much, and I shall deny myself something to make up for it. I think that doing without rides on horseback here, and at Germantown I can more than spare it. Tuesday August 23. Mrs Kane’s foot hurt her a good deal. Walked with Tom and read Shelley. Wrote home, The girls went out riding so I sat with Mrs Kane. Wednesday August 24 The Kane’s went away. Tom Bessie Charlotte, Pat and I took the Hickory Creek drive. Bathed. After dinner Tom and Tot went to sleep, and I darned his stockings Thursday August 25. Today was the anniversary of Millie Kane’s death. I had dreaded its effect upon poor Tom, but he bore it better ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p047.jpg) than I expected. Tot, H Wharton, Pat and I walked on Constitution Hill. [--]tt[-] after- -noon Tot packed, read and in the evening Tot Tom and I read talked together. Tom it seems thinks of making me a doctor if I grow strong. Heaven make me able to do my duty in whatever station I may be placed. Friday August 26 Tot Pat and Harry Wharton left us this morning for Hollidaysburg. I think that Tot is better in health since she came here; at least I am sure she will be better when she returns to New York than if she had stayed at New Rochelle. Tom and I started on a walk after breakfast up the mountain (Mills) at the back of the house. A brown setter chose to accom- -pany us and pointed at pheasants as we went along till he gradually grew so enthusiastic that he disappeared altogether. When we reached the top, we rested for a while and then began gathering moss, to put on baskets for that is one little price of economy. It helps out in bouquets so that a very few flowers make quite a show. We gathered beautiful “hair” moss from oaks, and from pines we gathered some white coral-like moss, and some “steer-cup” moss. I don’t know what else to call them. Coming down again we saw most exquisite views of the Cumberland Mountains. We were three hours and a half on our excursion, and I enjoyed it excessively. Then we bathed. At dinner the scene was forlorn. Not two dozen people there! Afterwards Tom went to sleep and I sat beside him and read a book by Miss ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p048.jpg) Kavanagh called Madeleine. It narrates the story of a poor peasant girl who by her own exertions established a hospital on Mont-le-Jean in Auvergne. It read me a good lesson on per- -severance and faith, and I’ll try not to forget it. Turning to Cellini Life the first paragraph that met my eye was so different! It coolly related how he had seduced a poor girl of 15, and after the birth of her child he would never see her agian, but took great credit to himself for allowing her a maintenance. What an extremely selfish, passionate bad genius he was! We have been reading Shelley’s sublime Prometheus. How strange that I should not have been allowed to read it hitherto. Saturday August 27 After breakfast Tom and I started on the longest walk I have yet had. It must have been four miles. I walked through one stream, which flowed through a most exquisite little valley lying among the mountains. It seemed to have been laid out by the most skilful of landscape gardeners, and so it was, for Nature herself had done it. We saw a Golden-rod and a Purple Aster growing close together making a magnificent contrast. After dinner read aloud to little George McLanahan and talked to Tom. Finished Cellini’s Life. I must try to write down something of it if I can, to remember the dates. I am so poor o hand at remembering them. He was born in the year 1500, at Florence In his youth he was most celebrated as a jeweller. We made a very celebrated button for Pope Clement VII to fasten his pontifical mantle, He employed him a great deal. Pope Paul hated him and imprisoned him unjustly in the Castle of Mangelo. however it served him right, for he deserved it for his murders. Afterwards he became a sculptor in the service of Francis the First and of Duke Cosins of Florence, his favorite work seems to have been a statue of Persons. He was married at 60, but he ought to have been married ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p049.jpg) long before, he had comitt committed several murders, and had a dreadful temper, and was possessed of the most overwelming conciet. In short I detest him altogether. Wrote to Mrs Kane in the evening Sunday August 28 An exquisite day, clear and cold. The thermometer on the warmest part of the piazza was 63 degrees only. I was too concerted this week, and must try to see my conduct as it really is. And I must be more cheerful outwardly, as Tom’s spirits seem to depend very much on mine, and I have a way of looking glum even when I don’t feel so, that depresses him. — We ascended Tussey’s Mountain and read the service there Monday August 29 Today there are only seven left, Tom myself Mr & Mrs Mc Lanahan and their child and two gentlemen. Tom and I rambled over Constitution Hill, reading Shelley. We leave Bedford tomorrow. The thermometer was at 42 1/2 higher up the valley there was frost. Tuesday August 30 We left Bedford Springs in the early morning with the greatest regret. Mr Mrs and Master George McLanahan were with us. The general impression left by the conversation, was — George — We alighted at Ramer’s tavern where we met the three Little Birds. After dinner the McL’s went on to Chambersburg, and as I felt very tired and sick with the jolting I lay down, until near tea-time when Tom and I took a stroll, and saw a beautiful view. At night we were bitten cruelly and on ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p050.jpg) Wednesday August 31st We resolved to keep to our old intention of going to to Chambersburg that day. We saw Bowles the stages agent and told him to see that we had back coats, and he said “oh yes, &c" - So Tom and I rode a little way with him, then jumped down and walked in the woods for about an hour and a half where I behaved like a coward being afraid of the rattlesnakes. We returned to the house, Tom spent he remainder of the morning in arguing in the bar room, and I in looking at some Littell’s Living Ages, that the Little Birds lent me. After dinner we had great difficulty in getting our seats in the stage and had to travel outside, which by the way is far the mills, We had a delightful drive over the beautiful Cove Mountain etc, and reached Chambersburg at 9 1/2 Thursday Septr 1— Mr and Mrs McLanahan called on us early, and then we got into a little carriage with two horses and bowled away. Tom and I drove alternately Soon one of the horses fell lame and we discovered that he had cast a shoe. So we stopped in Fayetteville and I saw a horse shod for the first time. Afterwards they went delightfully. By twelve we were so hungry and as we passed a ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p051.jpg) Camp Meeting and had a capital dinner in one of the tents. What a pretty scene it was. Through the trunks of the trees one saw the white tents, and the motley array of vehicles and the aminated crowd that strolled about waiting for the end of the intermission. Then we drove on for some time, and at last came on such fertile fields! Such wealth of corn and fruit! and a long brick building standing in the midst of its orchards proved to be the “nunnery.” It is very much changed from its pristine glory, for now there are only 19 people in it. — Tom went first and was scowled at, but when I came, they showed me into a nice clean airy room, where a pretty old Sister was pr sorting straw- -berry leaves for tea. She exhausted her stock of English in saying that it was a warm day, and them left the field to a still older Sister who there entered, and who talked English very well. The showed me over the house and where the spring was, and returning took me into an upper room large and airy where they have evening worship Tom joined us, and she showed us their beautiful ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p052.jpg) manuscript music, books, and sang some of their music. Four inscriptions were on the walls two and a half of which I copied and I tried to take notes of the conversation between her and Tom. I wrote it down in Tom’s book whence I must extract it some day. At ¼ past 4! They gave us a very nice tea — ham, roles, honey, apple butter etc, and then Tom and I went into the orchard and took apples to the spring and drank water, to the mill and got floury. The evening I spent talking to the old sisters, one of whom showed me a curious towel she had worked about a foot deep with a queer lace stitch, a very pretty one it was too. Tom was with the brothers at 8 o’clock every one went up into the upper room and sang, and prayed Tom says the singing was beautiful. They don’t pronounce the words but it sounds like instrument music. There are five parts the first is tenor I think, then counter tenor; then treble, then bass, then double-bass. — They gave us a nice clean little room together in the sisters’ part of the house. The property was valued at the last taxation at $78 000. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p053.jpg) In old times the women carded? flax, spun, wove their own linen, blankets, linsey woolsey, etc., and reaped in the fields. Now they are all too old and feeble. I asked the ages of some of them. 77, 72, 70 were very active for their age. An old blind sister took care of the cattle — They followed us about for salt. Sepr 2nd I wish I could write all about this place here, but I think I shall write my notes out in a separate book. - We were up before six, and when I came in at one door of the dining room, I saw two tables at one of which the men with Tom were seated he looking as superior as Juliet did over her companions — By the bye we were amused at the tent in the camp at our being so immediately detected as of a different grade from those around us. The girls who waited were perpetually apolo- -gising for the fare, to which we must be unacc- -ustomed. — To return, I sat down with the women, Snowberger read a chapter in the German Testament and then the meal began in perfect silence. Coffee was set before me. Three of the sisters noticing that I left it almost untouched came up after breakfast to apologise for not having ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p054.jpg) ascertained before breakfast what I would have prepared for me. As the sisters were all very busy preparing for their Sabbath, I took my book out into the cool hall and sat there reading it was one of the numbers of Harper’s Magazine, and an old sister had me a Lecture on the folly of such productions at about 1/2 past 8 the horses were harnessed and we bade farewell to these friendly people. Sister Susanna gave me these two little paper hearts as a souvenir and Sister Catherena Larventeo her inability to do the like We had hardly “driven a mile, a mile, a mile but barely three when the tongue of our wagon broke and we had some difficulty in reaching Chambersburg a good farmers wife gave us a quantity of ripe plums on the way. [--] We took tea at the McL’s house and afterwards walked out to see the graveyard I saw one little grave that made me feel very sad. It had on it - Our only child - We have no grave, but not the less do we grieve for our dream-child. I could not help crying, when I got to bed, and when Tom found the reason he almost cried himself, and said that he had thought he was ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p055.jpg) the only one who were remembered that. My poor child, as if its own Mother did not care for it. Saturday Septr 3rd Left Chambersburg at 1/2 past 8 Reached Carlisle in time to pay a visit to Mrs Cambell and to Tom’s old college. Reached Philadelphia late and found the Judge there expecting us. Tot still here having sprained her ankle, Mrs Kane’s hurt at Bedford continuing very bad also. Spent Sunday Sept. 4 at home, not very well. Monday Septr. 5th Went into town, and brought out my clothes. Found moths in all the furniture. Tuesday Septr. 6 The Dunlaps and a Miss Kuss[--] spent the day here. Busy cutting peaches etc. Wednesday and Thursday Both days wasted on Company my honeymoon over at last. Friday 9th In town at the Franklin Library Saturday 10th Rode to Laurel Hill with Tom. He wants Hamilton to draw it for him. I am sorry for it. Sunday 11 - I walked to church beyond the toll gate. Returning Tom came to meet me. dear fellow ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p056.jpg) Monday Tuesday Wednesday passed quietly away. Thursday I called on Mrs Nister and on Mrs Bitton and saw Tom Bitton’s beautiful library. Friday 16 – Tom went to town, I walked to the cars with him, darned my stockings and did different things of that sort. I was quite busy, pasting Elisha’s papers in a book, cutting out pieces in the Tribune, and sewing up my letters from home into a book. I went to meet Tom who brought me a report of the Female Medical College that I might read it. How I should like to be a physician if only to do good to the sick poor! Saturday 17 September The Dunlaps called bringing me a beautiful moss-basket of flowers. I wrote to Cousin Margaret and Tot. Went ot the Mitchell’s to tea. and saw the stars through a telescope. Tom asked me how I would like to adopt a child, but I would rather have one of my own, because I should have all the anxiety without the happiness. Sunday 18 My chief sin last week was a disgraceful fight with T.B. God forgive me who pretend to be a Christian and so forget myself. I pray him to watch over me this week and make me do right. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p057.jpg) Monday 19 Quite a good fire, at Mrs Dunlap’s in the evening Tuesday 20 Had a walk with Tom, and was quite busy. Consequently was glad when a regular storm of rain commenced, and very cross when I went to the Cadwalader’s. However I behaved well there. Wednesday 21 The fifth time that the day of the month has come round that gave me to my darling. God be thanked for the happy summer I have passed! Had a long walk with Tom, arranged fruit, and when evening came I behaved well every one told me. Thursday 22 Called on Mrs Fisher, and Mrs Henry. Wasn’t good to dear Mrs Kane Friday 23 In town. Saw the Horticultural Exhibition, the beautiful Lotus, the Spirito Santo and one other beauty. Was naughty about the Tolband’s funeral. Saturday 24. In the morning walked over to Butler Place. Came home and tried to do my duty to the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p058.jpg) company. Finished my visit to Antietam Sunday September 25 I had a lesson last night that has made me thoughtful Dear kind Mrs Kane had spoken to Fanny, the servant I have engaged, and told her several things for me. She spoke of Tom’s sweet manner of speaking, but said I did not do so. I must try for better things Went to the Episcopal Church and had a very pleasant hour before service. Returning home expected to meet Tom but found that he had left the house five minutes before. I supposed he had gone to meet me, and started off all the way to the Toll-gate. Not meeting him I turned back, and saw him just issuing from the house in quest of me. He had gone into the woods to let their sure voices calm down his feelings which had been hurt to the quick by his father and mother about the school. I prayed, and with God’s help soothed him to cheerfulness again. There was something de- -lightful to me in my darling’s coming to me in his troubles, and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p059.jpg) in my being able to com- -fort him. Monday Septr 26. We heard of the sale of Fern Rock. Poor Tom was distressed beyond measure. We spent a stupid evening at Mrs Cammacks and he was obliged to leave before supper. Coming home I found Pat and himself discuss -ing it. Tom was bothered also about the school which will depend more upon my exertions now, as, after what the Judge said Bessie ought not to go there again. List of books read this summer as far as I can recollect. Legend of the Rhine} Barry Lyndon 2 vols} Thackeray Goliah Gahagan} Bleak House 2 vols) Dickens Benvenuto Cellini’s Autobiography Goethe’s Autobiography Shelley’s Poems. Tennyson’s In Memoriam “ Princess Longfellow’s Poems Foster’s Essays Mary Barton ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p060.jpg) another little book will [-]ite. Sunday October 2nd Yesterday we paid our rent by dint of saving rigorously. I despatched two letters, one to Cousin Margaret and one to Papa begging them to come and stay with me. Then tidied our rooms, and arranged Tom's drawers; set to work crocheting Bessie's d'oyley while I learned, "We strew these opiate flowers, Then arranged flowers. Then added up my accounts. Tom came home I talked to him, read Barry Lyndon aloud. Dined. My cold being bad went to bed and slept till Tom brought me my tea. Mended three petticoats, a nightcap, cr[---] and learned "Oh follow, follow." should find it very painful to decide against him. I went into the garden to gather flowers for him, and when I reached his room found him sitting there. He had jumped down at Turnpike Bridge to come and consult with me. It was too hard for me to deny him. I made resolutions about saving and gave him leave to ask the price. It is useless to go into details. This is Friday the last of September. Whether Tom will [--]y [--]rn Rock I do not know ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p061.jpg) Tuesday Sep[-]r 27 Knowing Tom as well as I do, I easily gathered from various little signs that he was going to see about Fern Rock. So I asked him quite innocently what he was going to do. From his evasive answer I per- ceived that he did not want me to know. So I came back rather glad upon the whole that I should not have to decide upon what seemed to me an unwise purchase, but in which Tom's feelings were so much interested that I knew I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p062.jpg) Table Cloth in Carlisle Top of light green merino, or cash sides this shape Round it was bound broad braid—silk—about ¾ of an inch wide, a narrower band passed over the side seams about a ¼ of an inch wide, and the points had at a little distance from the edge a very narrow braid. To the point of each piece was sewed a fancy bell button of a lilacish color. The side pieces were alternately — [Drawing of banners with the following labels: white, blue light, scarlet, dark green, orange, light green, white, blue light] on each was served a palm leaf on orange ground cut from some cashmere dressing gown pattern — The braid was black Tom promises to buy me at [---] a table with a broken top but handsome legs Then I shall make the [---] barrel of the same, and make curtains to the windows too. [---] for the Judge's study gold & brown, and blue [Drawing of a bell] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p063.jpg) [Calculations appear on page] Stockings Petticoats Chemises Drawers Handkerchiefs Unders[---] [-]abetsheets Night Caps Memorandom—Widow Snowberger at the nunnery—(Schneberger The "Chunky Sister" Betse) age 72 Snowberger An old knitter Barbara aged 70 Information—Catharena Hock Born Decr 6-1776 Head Woman Susanna Goschet Property valued at 18,000$ last taxing Beautifully worked towel Betse Schneberger. One of the probationers who had been at Lancaster lately told me that there there were only seven old sisters, that the rules were almost forgotten except that they met every evening for worship and also that they kept the fortnightly meeting. The buildings are more than a hundred years old. The estate is farmed out to a family, and the sisters only get from it bread and wood ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F7_p064.jpg) [---] [---] Key—Insurance—Hyd[---] accounts. Money [--]sk—unpacking, Rush—Cards—In memoriam write to Walting — Key & Plate Ba[---] Bandbox Bee about Ironing Bread Tickets—Buy Cake Ere Tickets— Omnibus Dinner Cabman Cab Cab Hire Totall [Calculations appear on page] When I go into Town Bobs for Rigolette 4½ yards There I go are 6 See about number of Finger Glasses about hanging bookshelves List of fine things 1 pair worked sleeves 1 habitshirt edged with lace Rest sleeves & habitshirt French sleeves " " [---]ton Collar Thursday August 18 Clothes Nightgowns 6 Caps 1 Handkercherks Clothes Bag 1 Collars 1 Handkerchiefs 5 Petticoats 2 Chemises 2 Waists 1 Undersleeves 2 Stockings 3 [---] 1 pair undersleeves & Collar 24 Shirts and Pocket Hdkfs 30 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I10_p001.jpg) My own darling, I did not write last night, as I supposed I would have oceans of time today, but here is tea- time, and then we are off to church. On Friday evening Walter took me to the Opera. I was disappointed. None of the singers pleased me, and the Three Anabaptist's were so visibly inferior actors, and they all acted for the audience, and not for the spirit of the thing. The story is so slight that I was not interested in it, and there was no music that made me catch my ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I10_p002.jpg) breath to listen, as there was in Lucrezia, my one previous opera here. The only thing I enjoyed was this. The scenery was beautiful. I would take one look to get a general impression of the look of things and then shut my eyes so that I could idealise the actors. Then the Anabaptists' chant impressed me, as I suppose it should. Something like the feeling you have when the spies are round the banquet hall in Lucrezia, and you hear the doomed revellers singing? One other thing I liked – The coronation anthem. But I daresay you are laughing at the idea of me, as a critic–of the "Prophet." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I10_p003.jpg) On Saturday morning, I minded baby. Walter left us, and sent word by Papa, that he had a kind letter from you, and bade me tell you, that he would have written, but did not know till Thursday, anything about going. –I spent my time on Saturday with Nell, gave her a talk on colours, and took her out with me, and made her observe the dresses in Broadway. I invested 75cts in a paint box, and we spent Saturday evening colouring prints for the children. Nell proved an apt scholar. From 1 A.M. till 7. baby kept us awake, first with teething ,and then with colic. I was quite knocked up in the morning, and so only went to church once, and slept the afternoon ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I10_p004.jpg) through. Harry has been bright and well all day, and is now sleeping sweetly. I am looking horribly however, and I am sorry for it; as I must have my picture taken, I would like to look my best, instead of my worst, as I shall. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday! Dear darling, you'll come then. Oh, I long for you so! My own Tom, I must go now, If Harrie is not perfectly well, I'll tell you tomorrow morning, before I close this. I am the happiest, proudest wife in the world! You darling! Sunday Evening. Baby slept perfectly well & is bright & lively this morning. I am so glad! E. D. K. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I11_p001.jpg) My own wifeé: I cannot let this go after all, without thanking you for your noble letter of the 31st:— which came at the right moment, and made my heart melt in tears. I will tell you of it when I come home, not having the way of putting such things upon paper. Can you postpone our departure from the mountains a few days more–to the 11th or 12th for instance? __ I do not know, but it seems to me we may find it convenient to take it leisurely: Suppose you shd. write to Mrs. Wilcox saying that we will leave at that or some other certain day, leaving un certain the time of our arrival at Williams= ville. I think I can mark you off a pleasant trip. Kiss Charlotte for me in reply—and the se[---]ing dear ones — and my beautiful little children. Coming Thursday night ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I11_p002.jpg) Mrs. Tho L Kane ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I11_p003.jpg) My own dearest one: I am again happy; at least thus far, that I can again write to you and hear from you when you write. Remember this and remember how much I shall be dependent upon your remembering it, if I am to be detained here longer than we expect. I ask but a line :-it seems to me that, in reality, I cannot give you, more than that. No new form of words is ingenious enough to express with any additional force the truth that we are blessed in so fully recognizing. If I aim to say with any additional emphasis corresponding to [---] of my [---]. with what true esteem with what warm friendship — with what passion I love and worship you, I do not feel that I add any thing in the least after I mark down your dear name or initials, and kiss them — (as I ever am constrained forth with to do. E. D. W. There it is. But you cannot see what I placed directly after it. High ho! We are indeed, a thousand miles apart. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I12_p001.jpg) [first column] ? THE COURTS The Christiana Treason Trials. ELEVENTH DAY—DECEMBER 7. The case of Castner Hanway was resumed on Saturday morning, at 10 o’clock. We have, from day to day, record ed the attendance of large numbers of our citizens, anxious to hear the proceedings as they draw towards a close. The crowd at an early hour has hitherto been great; but it far outnumbered to-day, both in strength and earnestness, that of any preceding day. The people must have began to gather at 8 o'clock, as the gate at the foot of the stairway was surrounded by a dense mass long before 9 o’clock, almost precluding the possi- bility of working through it. If the cause were to continue another week, the ladies would have the room entirely to themselves, except the space occupied by the Judges, the jur rs, the officers, and perhaps the reporters. The latter, however, would be a matter of doubt, as the ladies are ex- ceedingly curious, and might feel a desire to see what the reporters are writing down, and thus prevent them from writing at all. A far greater number of ladies were present than on any previous day. They must be early risers, for which we commend them. Husbands and brothers have not complained of late breakfasts, we feel free to assert, since this cause has been on trial. After the Court room was filled to its capacity, there re- mained upon the outside, and in the passage ways, several hundred people, who were clamorous for admittance; but who, of course, could not be accommodated. The main door leading to the court room was partly closed, and an officer stationed at it to keep back the crowd. D. P. Brown jocularly observed to the Court, that he was afraid they were about to infringe the Constitution, by sitting with closed doors. Judge Grier laughingly replied, that they would keep one door open—pointing to it. When it was announced that the Court was ready for business, Mr. Brent said, that before the counsel proceeded with his remarks, he desired to say something in regard to a very important matter relating to a high officer of this court. It is a publication in the Pennsylvania Freeman, of Oct. 4th, of a circumstance which is calculated to prejudice the public mind. Jude Grier remarked, that the statement ot the facts in that paper was false, a characteristic feature of the paper, That their praise of a person was the highest vituperation, and their slander the greatest benefit. Any thing that ap- pears in that sheet may be taken as prima facie evidence of its falsity. The whole affair is a gross falsehood. [The Judge here related the facts of the matter charged.] Now, gentlemen, if you knew that paper as well as I do, you would not credit a word it contains. The matter was brought to my notice, and I immediately sent for the Mar shal, who told me the whole story. The Marshal replied, that perhaps it would be as well for him to re-state what Judge Grier had just stated. On the morning of the 27th day of November, (Thanksgiving day,) the Court having adjourned over that day, I visited the pri- son to look after and learn the condition of the United States prisoners. While engaged in that duty, I was requested to aid in putting up, and preparing for distribution amongst them, certain provisions sent to the prison for them by a ci izen of Philadelphia county, which I did, and was then invited to partake of the meal. I did so partake, and after- wards retired to the performance, of my other duties. And this is the amount of my offending. Mr. Brent then arose and said—Col. Kane informs me that he understood my remarks to relate to other persons than the officer, (theMarshal.) At his request I will state, that I did not intend my remarks to relate to any other per- son than the Marshal. Col. Kane was understood to reply—"Very well, Sir." The article in the Pennsylvania Freman states, that the Marshal dined with the prisoners (upon provisions sent them by Thos. L. Kane, Esq.) as an invited guest, together with other gentlemen, and drew invidious distinctions be- tween the donors of the provisions and one member of the Court. Mr. Lewis began his address to the jury, substantially as follows: When we look at the law in relation to treason, and the evidence adduced, we have no reason to be afraid of either the iife or liberty of the defendant. I cannot shut my eyes to the indefatigable efforts of the counsel for the United States. Nor can I shut my eyes to that appeal which cries for blood as patriotism. If I cannot find enough to justify a solicitance on my part, I still have cause enough to take some trouble. This, gentlemen, is an important case. The life of a hu- man being is involved. That of itself is an awful conside- ration. Though that life may have been through years of misery and crime, still the occasion is one of interest. But when, gentleman, that life is of a young man of fair prospects and pure heart, the importance is increased an hundred fold. The attempt is made here to brand his name with the infamy of treason. He is to be ranked with mis- creants who have raised the parricidal hand against their country. He is hunted down as a traitor to his native land. This prosecution seems to me to have commenced in a period of excitement—of public frenzy. Had a little time been given to inquire into thefacts, and who Hanway was, you would never have had the trouble of trying it. Had the mock hero of this trial been allowed to sink into his former insignificance, this duty would not have devolved upon you. An idea exists that, in the town of Strasburg, an unwholesome sentiment in relation to the Fugitive Slave Law prevails, and that the defendant is one of these per- sons. There is no suspicion in the evidence that the de- fendant belongs to any class who have arrayed themselves against the law, or that he cherishes opinions adverse to that law. He is an humble man, who pursued the even tenor of his way without mingling in the political struggles of the day. It seems that, owing to some partiality, or because the State of Maryland has such great interest in it, he is still to be pursued for this high crime of treason. Can it be that the State of Maryland has some sinister object in view? Can it be to terrify the people of Pennsylvania? Are we to be terrified into the promulgation of her views? Pennsyl- vania has stood firm before and since the adoption of the Constitution. She has stood by the compromises of that Constitution with unflinching resolution. In the preamble to the Constitution of this State there is an eloquent para- graph, written by a member of this bar, announcing the fact that this is a free State. There is nothing in natute that sanctions slavery. Penn- sylvania entertained a spirit of comity with the South, and was willing to assist her in everything just. The act of 1739 gave the South peculiar privileges in our State. It granted the South a privilege as sojourners—the privilege of bringing their slaves into this State for the period of six months, without their being liberated by this residence. The act of 1793 continued in operation until 1820. During tins period it was found great abuses were perpetrated on both sides of the line. False claims were made. The abuses were made manifest, and the law of 1820 was passed, which took away a part of the jurisdiction over fugitive slaves. This law continued in operation till 1826, when another was passed, which gave the slave holder a right to pursue his slave into free States, and which punished kidnappers. That law was passed at the instigation of Maryland. That law gave e tire satisfaction. A colored woman fled from that State, and had two children in this State. They were arrested here and taken to Maryland. The man who ar- reted them was himself arrested, and tried for kidnapping. The question was tried in York county, taken to the Su- preme Court of this State, when a special verdict was found, and it was then taken before the Supreme Court of the United States, and the law of 1826 pronounced unconstitu- tional. This kind spirit of comity existed between this State and the South. It has been here denominated unkind towards the South. I submit to you that Pennsylvania does not de serve the epithet of unkindness towards the South. We are entitled, in this State, to be considered as not occupy- ing a g ound by any means hostile to what the laws of Southern States pronounce property. This much it was proper to say. Now, gentlemen, hav- ing thus ascertained the position which Pennsylvania oc- cupies on the Slave question, we might go further, and see if the same spirit of comity exists in other States. The position which this State occupies is, to put no obstacle in the way of those who came here after their slave property, and to prevent the same persons from taking away vio lently the free colored persons residing within her limits. Has the defendant acted in any way other than as a citizen of this State should have acted, in relation to the Chris- tiana affair? Now, gentlemen, it is always to be observed, that this business of reclaiming fugitive slaves belongs properly to the South; and it is not to be expected that our citizens should interfere. The only thing that can be asked us in justice, is to keep our hands still, and not interfere with them in taking away fugitive slaves. Our United States Courts have no common law jurisdiction; and if the case has no penalty attached to it, it cannot be acted upon by this Court. No law that comes in conflict with the sentiments of both North and South can be enforced. You might fill your prisons with persons for refusing aid, and you never could make the respectable citizens take any part in the ar- rest of slaves. Southern gentlemen may have their slaves run away from them into this State or any other; thev may pursue them; but they cannot expect the people among whom the slaves conceal themselves to assist in their re- capture. The act of 1850 excuses them from any thing of the kind; while this is done, it allows to them free privileges, full scope, to take their slaves from the place where they may find them. The law of 1850 has two points—that no man be carried into slavery, if he be a freeman; and if he be a slave, that no obstruction be placed in the way of those who legal- ly claim the slave. Is there a single thing that can be attributed to the de- fendant, but what was in accordance with his Pennsylva- nia feelings and his Pennsylvania rights! Let us see to the matter; but before I do it, allow me to say, that no man la- ments the dreadful catastrophe which took place more than Castner Hanway. He deeply, sincerely regrets the lamen- table events by which a family was deprived of a father. Prior to this affair, nine months, a gross outrage was per- patrated in the same neighborhood. Mr. Chamberlain's rights of domicil were invaded; a man in his employ was violently, brutally taken away. The persons feeling their insecurity, it was natural for the white people in the neigh- borhood to see by what authority they came there to molest the peace of the place. I ask, was it not their right, as well as their duty, to inquire whether the party who surrounded Parker's house were the same as Perry Marsh's gang, who visited the place before in January, and violated their rights, and the law of 1850? They had a right to see to it. Was not the matter such as would have induced the suspicion that something was wrong? for why would Kline have been figuring in the place two days before, at the head of a party? It led to the inference that they had not come merely to take fugi- tive slaves, but to execute some nefarious designs. It had at least the o[-]or of kidnapping. Had the gentlemanly Marshal of this Court have gone there unarmed, he could have captured the four fugitive slaves without the least difficulty. Even had Kline have taken a carriage and went quietly to the business, he would have been successful without the shedding of a drop of blood. If notice was given, it was only given to the four slaves, and to none others. Elijah Lewis, as a citizen, as a man of humanity, deemed it his duty to see that the invaders were not kidnappers, as was represented to him, and took Han- way with him. Hanway would have been less than a man had he refused to accompany Lewis to the ground. I sub- mit to you, gentlemen, that the defendant going to the gound, as he did, was within the strict line of his duty. I would call your attention to his conduct while there. The complaint is, that he did not assist. He was not bound to assist, if I have read the law aright. He could have refused, and submitted to the penalty of the law; but that penalty is not treason. Combination must be proved, in order to make out treason. No combination has been shown. The imputation of such an idea is perfectly ab- surd. Here is a country 3000 miles from ocean to ocean, and 2000 from the St Lawrence to the Rio Grande, and a population of 26,000,000; and here in a little lane an army is raised to put down the Government of the United States; or, at all events, to make the Fugitive Slave Law a nullity. No other refutation need to be made, but to hold up to you the transaction itself. I will not ask you whether they combined to otherthrow the authority of the United States, but whether there was a combination at all for any pur- pose. What was it that Hanway said? Kline met him at the bars. The latter asked him to assist. He declined. This was the head and front of his offending. I now take the testimony of Kline. I asked him, in the name of the act of Congress, to assist me, when he refused. The defendant had nothing to do but to retire, which he did. Hanway ascertained that they were there to arrest fugitive blacks; he turned his horse and rode quietly away. There is nothing that im- plicates the defendant as to improper conduct. You heard what Kline said about the defendant telling the negroes something in a low voice. Kline could not hear on this stand without raising the voice high. Are you going to infer that the defendant used expres- sions to incite the blacks, when the words were not heard? They could not be given. The law will not allow a man to be convicted when there is no conceivable proof against him. May not the defendant have said to the negroes, these are officers of the United States, you had better retire, and be quiet? That, gentlemen, is the presumption of the law, You would not naturally suppose that the words used were inconsistent with the language which he did undoubtedly use—"Don't shoot, for God’s sake, don't shoot." What obligation was the defendant under to expose his body to the bullets of those infuriated negroes? There was but a small force against this large mob; and one of them an arrant coward, who, instead of relying on his game of flesh, resorted to his swiftness of foot—and worked out his own salvation with fear and trembling. If the defen- dant and Lewis had assisted, what would have been the issue? Why, there would have been more bloodshed. As soon as Kline gave the order to leave, he escaped. Had he behaved with the same courage as the gentlemen from Maryland, all would have worked better. He fled, gentle- men, and left the old man and his son, surrounded by 40 or 50 infuriated negroes. [second column] Lewis withdrew simply from the ground, and Hanway re- tired slowly, until he got to the creek, where he rested. I am now on the evidence of combination. They talked much of the blowing of horns. A horn was blown coming up, and another from the railroad, &c. The evidence as far as it goes, shows that about daylight, a horn was blown in the vicinity of the railroad, which proves that two horns were blown. They do not show that it was in concert with the persons at Parker’s as a signal to them. We show that it was a custom in those parts at particular hours to blow horns. I don't know that there is any thing, either in law or reason, to prevent the blowing of breakfast horns. Is there any evidence to show combination in that parti- cular? It is confined at last to a single horn: which has been proven to have been an innocent breakfast horn. They do not show that the horn blown outside was in answer to the one blown inside of the house, and hence there is no evidence of combination. There is no overt act proven on the part of Hanway. You must prove by two witnesses that the defendant was in combination with those who commit- ted the overt act. Now, where is there one word, or syl- lable, or action, to show an overt act on the part of Han- way? I have looked carefully over the evidence for it, but without success. The proof of innocence rebuts every theory of guilt Lewis declares that he came to the ground for an innocent and honorable purpose, to see whether the persons there had proper authority for the arrest of persons, and then turned away. Henry Burke corroborates him. Mr. Loug- head speaks of being in the clover field when he heard the report of the guns. Now this, you will recollect, was by the edge of the woods, where he saw a man come out of the lane leading a man, and setting him down by a tree, and then followed after Lewis and Loughead. Loughead cor- roborates Lewis on that point, which tends, very clearly, to show that the statement of Lewis is true, and that Kline is not merely mistaken. What does Hutchings say? He corroborates them both, and shows conclusively that Lewis had quietly retreated from the ground, directing his course to his own house. So with Hanway. This evidence not only contradicts the evi- dence of Kline in regard to this particular act, but shows the innocence of the defendant. Throw Kline out, and there will not be a shadow of guilt or even impropriety on the part of the defendant. Kline, feeling conscious that this bloodshed was caused by his cowardice, he in conse- quence framed a story to exculpate himself. Cowards are always liars. Kline is not supported in his evidence. Dr. Pearce does not support him; neither of the Gorsuches, Nelso, nor any of the re t. What does Pearce say? Notice, and you will perceive how inconsistent the two stories are. Pearce admits that Hanway was no longer at the bars; he had gone, Lewis had gone; Pearce does not say that Hanway and Lewis went away a few paces at the time of the first report of fire arms. So far from supporting Kline, he absolutely contradicts him. Kline's evidence is this (he read the evidence) all in one breath; from the time that Lewis and Hanway left the bars to the time of the firing, hardly a minute elapsed, when Dr. Pearce says that more than a quarter of an hour inter vened. He says that a party fired from the creek up the lane at him, when the lane was filled with negroes. If they had fired up the lane while Kline was there, as he testifies, they would have shot their own men. Dickinson Gorsuch says (he read the evidence) that when he got out of the long lane he met the Marshal. You will see that the evidence of Gorsuch comes in immediate conflict with Kline in refer- ference to the position which the latter occupied at that particular time. Mr. Hutchings also contradicts him. [He read the evi- dence here.] According to Kline's evidence, he ran out of the woods into the lane, and caught hold of Dickinson Gor- such, and led him into the woods. This witness says no such thing took place. Nelson also contradicts him—he says that he did not see Dickinson Gorsuch and Kline together until they came into the woods. Arnott says pretty much the same thing. That he first saw Dickinson Gorsuch at the mouth of the long lane, and he saw Kline have hold of him in the woods. Now this is the evidence of the prosecution itself, in conjunction with Nelson and Lewis, which goes to contradict Kline. He was not within, I'll venture to say, one hundred yards of him when the shots were fired. He undertakes to say what occurred at the end of the lane, when he was at too great a distance to see anything at that point. He told Burke and Loughead that he called his men away, and when he found that they would not mind him he came away and left them. He told Thompson and Lough- lin substantially the same thing. This may be considered a part of the res jesta. It is more reasonable to suppose that he told a truer story immediately after the transaction than at any other time. In addition to that, gentlemen, he has testified that Harvey Scott was there. He saw him in prison and at other places, and Scott's appearance being peculiar, he could easily identify him. If he was there, why was he kept back by the prosecution? Had they reason to believe that we were armed with wit- nesses to prove that he was not there? Why did they withhold him? I do not think that it is a part of the busi- ness of the U.S. officer to call his witnesses. They have no right to select and build up witnesses. Yet here we find a judicious selection of witnesses to support the cause of the United States. Harvey Scott, though he was a witness in chief, was not produced on the examination in chief. They deemed it a matter of expediency to withhold him for the rebuttal. I ask why it was? Had they reason to sup- pose we had evidence to contradict him? I repeat, you can't believe that Scott was within three miles of the scene where this lamentable tragedy occurred. Scott was produced merely to bolster up the character of Kline. He was asked but a single question, "were you there?" He testified twice that he was; and having been seen by one of the counsel on the other side, he is brought into Court. Having some little remains of conscience left, he honestly confessed that he was not there. This con- fused the United States counsel. If I understood the ar- gument of the other side, I think it was said that some con- nection of Mr. Hanway had been tampering with this last witness. I pronounce it an atrocious slander, and spit upon it, and trample upon it as such. There is nothing to show that my honest client was implicated in any such thing. It is a slander. The character of the evidence of the man was sufficient- ly strong to establish the reputation of Kline. To be sure, we produced some confirmatory and corroborative evi- dence, among whom was Judge Kelley. You may judge of this man's feats by the evidence produced. It is enough that we show in this case that there is not a material point testified to by Kline which is not contradicted by three witnesses. I, therefore, throw the testimony of Kline out of the question; I am warranted in it. The evidence of one of the witnesses might lead to a bad inference. Dr. Pearce said that the blacks seemed to be inspirited when Hanway made his appearance at the bars. The blacks, you will recollect, were running towards the house in all directions, across the fields, at the same time. Now, which was it, the sight of the blacks on the road, who could be seen from the house for three-quarters of a mile, or the appearance of a man who, for all the purposes of the case, was not connected with them by any sympa- thetic ties? He did not belong to any congregation or so- ciety which sympathized with, or assisted the blacks. Then, why should they become inspirited by his appear- ance at the bars? Shortly after Mr. Hanway came to the bars, they shouted and seemed inspirited, so says Dr. Pearce. Now, how definite is shortly? It gives us no better idea of the quantity of time than a lump of chalk does of size. The negroes were alone in the second story, and had a fair opportunity of perceiving their friends coming to their assistance. Now which caused the shout? Hanway was a stranger there; for he only came to the place in the April preceding; he was so great a stranger that he did not even know the locality of Parker's house. Hanway not only did nothing that was improper, but his conduct was that of a humane and high minded citizen; he went to the ground impelled by a spirit of humanity, and saved the life of one of the white men. What was the course of Hanway? It was in evidence that he left and went down half wau to the creek. Had he have gone away entirely, Dickenson and Joshua Gorsuch would probably not have been here to- day. Why did he stay there? It was that he might place himself in such a condition as to be of use to the retreating party. Dr. Pearce does not recollect much that took place upon the occasion, and Mr. Joshua Gorsuch does not distinctly recollect the discumstances, and I don't wonder that he should forget, because of the great injuries he received. Mr. Rodgers, though, went along with Hanway. Where was Hanway when they fired at Dr. Pearce? He was in close contact with the latter, who received a slight wound. Isaac Rodgers recollects that the defendant said "don't shoot," and Pearce says he saw him motion his hand back. He staid there to give succor to those who needed assist- ance. He is called the friend of the blacks—when in reali ty he was the friend of the whites. I am only sorry in this case to see that Dr Pearce is not sensitive of the obligations he is under to the defendant; and that they had to be wrung from him here. It does ap- pear that Mr Hanway was noth ng more than a spectator; and I ask you, must every spectator of outrages be arraign- ed for treason? Let this doctrine be promulgated, that a man cannot do an act of humanity without peril to himself, and what wil be the consequence? Every white man will escape from a scene of this kind as quietly as possible, or rather will keep away from it. Like in Spain, when a man is murdered, all persons immediately fly, lest they may be accused. If they insist upon the prosecution of men under these circumstances, then no assistance will be tendered, gen- tlemen from the South, when in pursuit of slaves. If in- nocent men in the country are to be prosecuted in these outrages, what will be the consequence? I understand, in the argument of my learned friend on Friday, an attempt was made to impeach the veracity of Lewis' evidence. It is enough for me to say, that his testimony is corroborated by every witness with the exception of Kline. Kline tells all in one breath; and we would suppose, there- fore, that there could not have been time between the first and the last firing to walk a distane of 500 yards. Why, a person might narrate events in the history of this country, from its settlement down, in the same breath, and we would infer that all these things occurred a few minutes. I have now shown, at a greater length than I contempla ed, that there is certainly, according to the evidence, not even impro- priety proved in the conduct of the defendant. There is no man who would not have been acted upon by the same feel- ings of humanity. If they had ever shown impropriety, it would not be sufficient for the position assumed, that it must be treason. They may have violated the law, in resisting the arrest of a fugitive slave, in not obeying the Deputy Marshal of Commissioner Ingraham. The treason consists in levying war, and not in resisting the fugitive slave law. Now. I defy the United States to point to an instance going to show that he ever uttered a sentence that he was not favorable to this fugitive slave act. I want to know if a disproval of a law of the United States is to be denominated treason? I hold that a citizen may have his opinion of the law—and even write his opinion of the law—and not be guilty of treason. We are not trying here whether this defendant is favorable or not to the Fugitive Slave Law—it is trying itself. My apprehension is, that the South will be more displeased with it than the North. It takes those who have tasted freedom awhile into slavery, to become among their brethren Apostles of Liberty. I speak now for my client, that he is not opposed to any aw. He has never advised any one to oppose the Fugitive Slave Law; and, if it were ne cessary to rely upon this point, I would occupy it with confidence. I have not gone as far into the evidence as I would have done under other circumstances. I have never before felt my voice fail me so while addressing the Court and jury. I now allude to the opening remarks of the gentlemen en- listed in the cause of the United States, who seemed to say that, if some person was not convicted, it would en0 danger the stability of the Union. The stability of the Union, thank God, does not depend upon this or any other trial—nor a thousand such trials. No, it is founded on a surer basis—the affections of the people. Talking about the danger of the Union, is far more treasonable than any- thing that has or can be done by any such person as Cast- ner Hanway, either politically or civilly. I have examined the law, may it please the Court, in re- lation to the different adjudications in trials of the kind; but my strength has so failed me that I cannot proceed, and shall leave the further enforcement of the law in the case upon my learned colleague, (J. M. Read.) Mr. Brent said he would like to have the benefit of hear- ing the law of the defence. Mr. Lewis said that he had committed to paper his law points, which the gentleman could read in a quarter of an hour. Judge Grier said that they could proceed in the regular course, as the two additional speakers had concluded. Mr. Brent said—he had hoped htat he would not have been precipitated in his argument before Monday, as he was suffering from a sore throat; but he would ask no in- dulgence. J. M. Read said—he certainly would not ask the gentle- man to proceed under such disadvantages. Judge Grier also intimated the same thing. Mr. Brent preferred going on now, and proceeded. ATTORNEY GENERAL BRENT'S SPEECH. Mr. Brent, Attorney General of Maryland, said: May it please the Court and gentlemen of the jury. If a stranger, unacquainted with the facts of this case, had come into Court, he would have supposed that the State of Maryland was upon her trial, and that Castner Hanway was here for glorification and exaltation. How does Castner Hanway really stand here? He stands arraigned for the heinous of- fence of treason against his country. Did the State of Maryland send any person to the Grand Jury to induce them to find a true bill? It had been done by the constituted authorities of the land and the consciences of the Grand Jury. There has been an allusion made to my appear- ance here, in the public prints. I will speak of myself, which it is not my custom to do. [He then explained how he came to take part in the prosecution of this cause.] This is the second case of the kind in this State where death has ensued. The first was that of young Kennedy, who, while seeking his property, was killed at a door in Carlisle. Maryland has sent her representative to assist our greater sister in the prosecution for justice, at the instance of the General Government. There have been public meetings held through the length and breadth of Maryland, declaring it unsafe for a native of our State to come here in pursuit of his property. It has been stated htat I have sought to supersede the learned gentlemen who represent Pennsylvania. There was a little difficulty of etiquette between my learned friend and myself, which, I am happy to say, was amicably adjusted on my arrival here. Nei- ther my friend nor myself are the representative of a State, but of the United States. Would it satisfy the public sentiment of Maryland to see in the public prints that the prisoner was, without having had a representative here to assure them that the trial was a fair one, ac- quitted? No. They wanted a representative of their own. What does the State of Maryland care for the individual destiny of that man? She does not thirst for the blood of an innocent man. Such imputations on our State I pro- nounce libellous. I hold her escutcheon aloft. She desires justice to the name of the dead, and protection to others in the future. I did not suppose that the appearance of our State, by counsel, would be met by insult and imputations. It is necessary, for peace and security, that a meritorious defence should be made. Is there not impartiality enough among the jurors to shield the defendany from injustice? It is the part of a skilful, ingenious counsel, to raise up these prejudices in the minds of jurors. Suppose not that the State of Maryland could sully herself by coming here for the blood of an innocent man. Suppose he is gui ty? Strip- ping it of all these extraneous considerations, you are here, before the heart searching God, to say whether Castner Hanway be guilty or not. Allow me, before going into the law of the case, to de- pict the condition of the South. The taint of slavery, if it is a taint, is upon the escutcheon of all the original thirteen States. The act of 1798 was the foundation of slavery, as it existed in this State. The South is not able, I saw, because of the great number of slaves within her borders, to emancipate them. There could be no practical or social amalgamation between the whites and them. Neither have we the wealth to export them to their native Africa. Do you expect to force us to liberate these people, who are as numerous in our State as the whites, to act upon society? You would not permit them to invade your borders. Tell the South, in the name of God, how the evil can be remedied. We cannot emancipate; we cannot export them; for where are the treasure and the means to come from? You people of the North have no right to tell us to emancipate them. you have pledged your honor to see that the South have their just rights and are protected in them. You adopted the Constitution by compromise, by mutual concession. There were many things which the South did not like in the Constitution; many things which the North did not like. We settled all our difficulties upon the altar of patriotism. What were the stipulations of the South? That they would abolish the slave trade, which they relig ously observed. what was your stipulation? That the master should have his slave when the latter seeks refuge in a Northern State. I will show you, presently, by a decision of the Supreme Court of the United States that the Union never could have been formed without the adoption of that fundamental article—the surrender of fugitive slaves to claimants. So much for the moral obligation. These doctrines are preach- ed by persons who acknowledge a higher law. I am glad to say, the majority of the people have a right sentiment in relation to the fugitive slave law. If a private man can overthrow the law and the Constitution, then where is our security? The seeds of this bloodshed have been sown by such people, and may, at some future day, create civil war. If such people want to preach conscience above the law, et them do it in other lands. Judge Story said that fugitives from justice should be surrendered upon claim being made. that is the Con- stitution, the organic law of the country, which rides over the law of Congress, and on whcih the South reposes, re- lying on the justice of the North. What obligation has the government assumed? Is it, as Mr. Lewis says, that the southern master is to come here and obtain his slave without the assistance of persons in the North? The words in the Constitution are, "deliver up." Who shall [third column] deliver him? Why, the people of Pennsylvania. They are bound to deliver the slave up to the claimant. I merely refer to this clause in the Constitution, to show that it binds the people of the North to perform some active duty, and not to remain passive. [He read the de- cision of Judge Story.] That was the first great com- promise. I ask you to point out where the South has failed to perform the obligations of the Constitution? The State of Maryland, then comes here with a clean breast. She came into the confederation and has religious- ly kept her promise. The State of Maryland does desire that while this Union shall last, she shall be permitted to come into this State after her property, and not be butcher- ed. It is my opinion that the great majority of your people are in sentiment sound in regard to this great question. The question is practical. What consolation is it to the South to know that you feel right, but do not act right? Put down this miserable faction who unsheaths the sword of civil war to devastate our land, though they be in the minority. The gentleman said that it was against our policy to permit propagandists to come into the South. The dif- ficulty which we of the South have to capture our slaves has retarded emancipation. This encouragement to fugi- tive slaves has retrograded the public opinion and reversed the order of things. Who have the slaves to thank but their wicked advisers? As Gen Jackson was wont to say, "Only take care of my friends, and I can take care of my enemies." Now as to the dangers of the Union. I have no authority from the State of Maryland to speak on so grave a quest- tion. I do not believe that the events of a single day, the events of a week, or a month, will sever the Union; but dis- cord, one by one, will gradually weaken our great alliance and eventually sever it. General Washington warned us of this in his farewell address. It has been even carried into matters of religionl for a line has been drawn between the church of the North and the south. I am glad to say that a kindly feeling has always existed between the two States of Pennsylvania and Maryland, and I defy you to show me when a citizen of the North has not been hospita- bly treated by the people of Maryland. I pass now from that subject. You are bound to the great contract by honor to observe the Constitution. Without that we would never have had a star-spangled banner to float over every wave, nor a beacon-light on every moun- tain top to show the way of liberty to the rest of mankind. What is the duty of the general government? It is to en- force the laws of the Union. It is the solmen obligation of that general government to see every law executed; and if they do not, they are recreant to their duty. Congress has a complete and final jurisdiction, and no State can oppose it. If, therefore, Congress has said that a citizen of the South can come into the North and get his slave, and the North is to deliver up such a fugitive, the man who does not assist when called upon is a disloyal citizen. The Legis- lature of your State cannot absolve a man from acting his part in the furtherance of the Constitution. I offer this in view of the testimony of a man who was called to the stand to prove that the defendant was a loyal citizen, who pro claimed from that stand that he reserved a right—a right— to disobey the laws of Congress and the Constitution of the United States. I say that the general g vernment has a right to summon that man as one of a posse comitatus to assist in the execution of the lwas. Let me read you the act of Congress on the subject. [He read the Compromise Act] It gives the Commissioner the power to delegate to any person he chooses the power and the majesty of the U. S. Government. From what point do the gentlemen take their course, and direct their longitude? By a di- rect violation of the act of Congress; for it says that a bystander, upon being asked, must assist. It takes from him, by a refusal, the reputation of being a good citizen. How do the defence get out of this? Why, they say the law don't inflict a penalty. Congress never supposed that a Hanway and a Lewis would refuse to assist in executing the process of the General Government in one year after the passage of that act. What is the excuse? Conscience is an excuse for an American citizen to disobey the laws! If an unjust or a wicked law is passed, there is but one re- medy—to change it by a majority of the people, who make the laws. If this paramount doctrine of conscience is re- ceived, what will be the result? The United States will not be able to execute civil process without an army to sustain her officers. This man did not stand by, merely passive. I would have thought more of the defendany and Elijah Lewis if they had put on their armor and marched on with the colored persons. They would then have been heroes in their way, though attempting to nullify the act of the go vernment. A man who would incited them with speeched and by gesture. has done worse—he has become meanly a con- spirator. I shall argue, in the first instance, that it cannot be presumed that the United States could bring direct evi- dence from an infected neighborhood. It is not to be ex- pected that we can find, in that horde, one voluntary wit- ness. Because none have witnessed their congregations, can we not prove a treasonable combination? If you see a swollen stream, running from the mountain, leaping along as if a deluge was pouring its waters along its channel, do you not know that at its source the snows have melted, and the rains have descended? How, then, can you mis- take the cause which impelled those infuriated blacks to their acts of violence and bloodshed? [Three o'clock having arrived, Mr. Brent closed. He will resume his argument this morning.] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I1_p001.jpg) [left column] Septr 4 8 4 11 8 12 ½ 18 8 14 25 8 11 [right column] Baby's weight Books 3 lbs 10oz & ½ Clothes and scale dish Subtract. 3 - 13. ½ Baby weighed 4 January lb oz 13 12 10 8 ½ 3.13 ½ 6 lbs 11 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I2_p001.jpg) Read at Elk Co Harper's and Putnam's Magazines 5 Numbers of Lardner's Museum 1st Vol Lamartine's Restoration Fowler on Hereditary Descent Elements of Botany Memorials of his time Cockburn Peasant Boy Philosopher Kingsleys Heroes Ossian Midsummer Night's Dream Taming of the Shrew Wonders of Science. Kossuth and His Generals Sears' Bible Illustrations Ins and Outs of Paris De Marguerittes Conde's Hist. Arabs in Spain 1st vol Lives of Queens of England – Doran 1st vol. Merchant of Venice. Greater part of Tucker's Midwifery ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I3_p001.jpg) It is late, sweetheart, and I know I ought to go to bed, but I must bid you, Goodnight. Besides, it is almost as if I had been able to tell you of all the day's events, and I shall sleep the sounder. — The morning was rainy, so I did not go out. I wrote a note to Tot, and gave the rest of the day to C.M. After lunch – by the bye, I have a fine appetite, I am glad to say, — a carriage came to the door, and I accompanied C.M to see the pictures. We only saw four, of which I can tell you nothing. They may be fine, but they did not interest me. — When Papa came home Cousin M and he came up to see the baby, and embarrassed me very much by putting a cloak on her. I didn't know what to say, for I know you don't want me to take presents from Papa. I said all I could, but he seemed so hurt — now, are you hurt, Tom? Because, I am between two fires; I hate to hurt either's feelings, and I fear, I've done both. That hateful picture of mine! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I3_p002.jpg) I meant to tell you about Thackeray's glorious lecture (Times of George The Third) but I won't spoil it for you, and I'll be a good child and go to bed, so as to be fresh for my sittings tomorrow. My darling! I love you so! God bless you, and Goodnight. Your birdie has a cold, but I think will soon be over it. She is delighted with the children and has laughed more than she has done in all the days of her life put together, since she same here. – My Tom! Bessie Thursday Night 11 P.M. Oh, I had a letter from you. Ah pet, you are working, with a blinding headache. That's wrong dearest. Please don't! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I4_p001.jpg) West Grave Chester C[--]y July 6th '54 My dear Mrs Kane I have not been unmindful of your generous kindness in sending me a note through Mrs Heald in March, & in my heart I have thanked Mr Kane for his letters to persons in Washington. I had intended to call in my return to Phila & thank you in persons, & tell you of my "success" & of some of the interesting incidents of my visit to Baltimore, etc, but many duties & occupations prevented. The evening I spent in your happy home is a very pleasant remembrance to me. I look forward with pleasure to the time when we shall meet again. I am now in my childhood's home- a home deep in the quiet of the country, & still blessed with the presence of Father, mother, & broth -er. Here I spend a part of every day in study & enjoy the summer beauty & re– pose as those only can enjoy them who have grown weary of crowds & of cities. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I4_p002.jpg) I wonder if you are still in the city & whether you continue your studies? I am often thankful that I followed the impulse which prompted me to engage in the study of medicine. So far, health & spirit I feel a gainer, & the hope that thereby my life may be made more useful is very comfortable. Bessie, "darling," I feel like writing thee a letter, & that too in the quaker language - the thee & thou of my childhood. Often since we partd my heart has gone to thee in love— but, I only commenced to express my grateful appreciation of your kindness, & trusting that peace & the purest blessings may rest with thee & thine I am truly thy friend Ann Preston Mrs Kane. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I5_p001.jpg) Ephesians VI 10 to 19 verse II Timothy II Hebrews XII 1 to 8 & 11 to 16 Romans XIV Lamentations III 28 to 37 Isaiah LIII Psalms CXXI ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I6_p001.jpg) Mr Kane To R Lovett [-] To[-]y. Crest on pencil $3.00 Nov. 19/56— Recive payment Robt Lovett by Jos Stokes ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I7_p001.jpg) June, 1855. My own Tom, I do not know how soon I may be taken sick and so write while there is time, and while I an shake off sad thoughts easily. Neither you nor I could bear to talk of what may be and I could only cry if I tried to tell you my wishes if I die. So I write this letter for you to read in that case but you must not read it other- -wise because I shall tell you things that I cannot, if I live have you see. You often pain me by saying that if I die, you will die too. It is a thing that terrifies me, though I can’t believe you say it in earnest. Ah my darling, wait patiently for God’s good time to re-unite us. Do not run into dangers, hoping for death, for I am sure that is wicked. And God may have some noble work for you to do. If you live a long life through, dearest, how little it will be of the eternity that we [The following is written sideways over the above text] say, and harder to say in so few words. I know however that it is all of real necessity, and that no words of mine, dear treasure of my life, are needed to tell you how fervently and deeply I love you now, and ever shall till we meet again. I must stop for the tears will come, and my present duty is to keep up my strength for your sake, and our child’s Oh, my darling! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I7_p002.jpg) shall spend together. So be patient, darling one, even if you are left quite alone, without even our poor wee baby. If God sees fit to spare it to be a comfort to you, I know you will be more willing to live, to do your duty by it, Dear Tom, I trust it to you, and I know you will fulfil the trust. I would rather have you teach it to love our Saviour, than any one else. I have never known what your faith is, darling, but I am sure it can't be very far wrong, or you would not be so good. But I know it is not quite the right faith, or it would make you happy. I have made it my daily prayer for you for years that our Father would bring us both to the true path, taking away the errors from the hearts of both. I never have asked Him for blessings for you, without imploring Him not to grant the prayer, if it would lead you from the path which takes you heavenward. When you were so ill, I said I would not pray for your life to be spared, if you had taken Christ for your Saviour, but I only asked Him to grant you time to learn to become one of Christ's disciples. I always pray Him to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I7_p003.jpg) give us blessings if they are consistent with that, but if He sees fit to lead you to His feet through trouble, and sorrow, and sickness, I will be your companion cheerfully as long as He lets me stay with you, and if He says I must leave you: go it is hard to part, but I can say, "His will be done," for I know that in His good time, He will wipe all tears from our eyes, and we shall serve Christ our Saviour together in His own king- -dom. He himself said – "Whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive," and I know He will grant my prayer, and that if you are not now a Christian you will not die till you are one. I prayed Him on the day we called our Golden Wedding not to bless our union with a child, unless we could do our duty by it, and teach it to love Christ; or if we died, that He would make it a Christian through other means. So I know that if our child lives, it too will be a Christian, and if it dies with me, its sinless soul will go to Heaven, for He blessed us ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I7_p004.jpg) and gave our child the life that now stirs within me, and I know He granted my prayer, as He will grant my prayer for you, my own dear Tom. I don't bid you, Farewell forever, in this letter, dearest, I know we shall meet again. If our child lives, dear Tom, I beg you to teach it what Christ taught, but do not let its innocent mind receive any doctrines of sects. Let it live, for the sake of its bodily health, for its first few tender years among your family, but never let it hear the hateful squabbles of sects. When it is old enough, perhaps you will take it to the West, where it can grow up free from evil in- -fluences. But all that is in God's hands. He will take care that the thorns and weeds do not choke the growth of the precious soul-plant. Dear Tom, I try not to interfere with your religion, but when I can no longer kneel by you, and pray for you, will you not pray that you may become a Christian, and ask our Saviour to show you how to bring up our child?—My own one, I could fill many sheets of paper with all my hopes and fears and lookings for- -ward, but it would only be a useless tearing of my heart. What I have written, I thought necessary, but it has been hard to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I7_p005.jpg) Thomas L. Kane. Not to be opened, unless I die. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I8_p001.jpg) MY HOME. BY ANN PRESTON, M[-]D. I hear the city's ceaseless roar, And pine, as homesick exiles pine,— To rest my weary feet once more Within that old green home of mine. At morning there my Father walks, Amid his cattle on the hill; By scented shrubs and holyhocks My mother bends and trains them still. The honeysuckle blooming there, The jessamine beside the wall, The dark green fir, the locust fair Have tales for me—I know them all. But I've another, nearer home Secluded from the glare of day, Where mosses cling, and wild birds sing, And relics old are stored away. And pictures sad and pictures dear Are hung around its well known walls, And old familiar tones I hear Re-echo softly through its halls. Thy glance is there whose loving light No more these eyes on earth may see; And thine, Oh friend! who in the night A star of beauty rose to me! So mid this surging sea of men To mine own home I turn to-day, And by its streams, I dream old dreams, Or gaze through vistas far away. Oh! yearning soul! thine is the might To make the home that shelters thee; Thy earnest toil must win its light, Thine own love grow thy shadowing tree. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9a_I9_p001.jpg) Dedication To Hon: John K. Kane and Thomas L. Kane Without whose aid this record of my labours would never have been published. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p001.jpg) Given to H A K apr 21. 1894 Diary of E D Kane This old Diary is given to H. A. Kane April 21, 1894 E.DK. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p002.jpg) Bessie D. Kane Christmas 1853.. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p005.jpg) [globe in middle of page contains a daily calendar for the year of 1855. Some dates are crossed off.] Harriet's Growth Weighed lbs oz 1 July 18. 7. Grew thin in the two next weeks but regained flesh the next and on the 8th. 5 of August was 7 6 August 14 7 9 3/4 7 August 28 8 3 8 September 4 8 4 9 September 11 8 12 1/2 10 September 18 8 14 11 September 25 8 11 12 October 2 9 13 13 October 9 10 2 14 October 16 10 11 3/4 October 23 10 8 3/4 Had a cold Octr 30 11 4 1/4 Dec. 7 12 9 3/4 13 [-] 2 Jan 5. 13. 12 Nov 13. 1856 22 lbs H.A K. Born July 10. 1855 K. Born Nov 25. 1856. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p007.jpg) Diary. January 1st 1854. This has been a quiet Sunday, a clear bright sky overhead, deep snow on the ground, and not a sound to be heard, but the distant church bells, and the sweet chime of SN Stephen's. I did not go to church, my cold kept me at home, but I read the "Service for Morning Prayer" some chapters of the Bible, and part of Foster's Essays. And I thought over the year, and all that had happened since January last, and what an eventful year it had been to me. On January seventh, last year on such a beautiful soft day I walked down Broadway with Tom, towards the boat he was to embark in for Bermuda. How narrowly he escaped death instead of recovering strong health as I kept hoping he would do, and how my hope buoyed me up, and made me cheerful. – What pleasant drawing lessons I took, at his desire, with Major Delafield's children, and how I used to watch the winter sunset as I (Retrospect walked home, and wonder whether he was enjoying it under warmer skies. And my Italian lessons, and my poor kind shabby teacher! Then my visit to the Kane's house in Girard Street, and my last letter from him received there! Then in March he returned, so ill that he feared he ought not to marry me, the preparations for our wedding, and how exhausted we were with them. On the 21st of April the day to be marked with a white stone of my life my dearest friend and I were married, and spent that night in our own beautiful home in Girard Street, how I love the dear place! It was a Thursday; early on Monday we set off for Virginia where we spent some days. We were both so sick and weak that we were rather sad at first, but we both loved each other dearly to begin with, and as we knew each other better loved more and more. What a blessing it has been to me to be able to love so intensely as I love him! On the first of May we were at home again, and I began housekeeping. I took German lessons till June when we moved into "Lisle House, Fisher's Lane Germantown." I was growing weaker every day, and not until the end of June, a few days before we went for a week to New Rochelle (a village on Long Island where Papa was staying) did I begin to feel any strength – But the history of the summer is in my notebook. On the 11th of July I miscarried – On the 11th of August we went to Bedford Springs where we both gained strength. God bless the mountains. White, Catskill ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p008.jpg) Accounts for the half year— College Lectures on Gastritis etc — Alleghany, Blue Ridge I have to remember thankfully the health and happiness I have enjoyed in your valleys. On the first or one of the first days of October we returned to town, and soon after Tom bought "Fern Rock," and I became a student at the Female Medical College in Arch Street where God grant me strength to complete my studies. And I thank Him earnestly for all his mercies to me, to my darling husband and our dear families, and pray Him on this first night of the New Year to continue his mercies, and make us try to do our duty, and to succeed for Christ's love. Amen! "To serve the present age, My calling to fulfil, Oh may it all my powers engage To do my Master's will! Arm me with zealous care As in thy sight to live And oh, thy servant, Lord prepare, A strict account to give!" Last night Tom and I went over our accounts to- -gether. We had fancied ourselves economical, but oh dear we had far exceeded our limits. I have resolved to keep house on $133,00 a month, and try to save out of it. I hope I can. We will cut down every expense, but every one before charity. Pat told us tonight that the poor man who used to tune the piano is dead, literally starved to death! How dreadful it is, and to think of all our luxuries! They seem so wicked God help me to do right! Monday January 2nd Monday. At ten my household duties over I started January 2 for College. The first hour was a "quiz" from Dr Johnson on Potash and the antidotes for a person to take poisoned by Caustic Potash– Vinegar or Lemon Juice or Oil or "emulsient drinks." The second hour a lecture from Dr Harvey on Gastritis which made me feel the invitation afforded by the open air when we came out too tempting to be resisted, so I trotted home, over the icy pavement. Went upstairs to BK's room and read an article on our professors in the Daily Register to her. Went down stairs saw Mrs [-]inkler and Mrs Constable (to whom I behaved unchristianly). Read The Revolt of Islam to B. in the evening, until the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p009.jpg) — Tennyson's Princess on Female Physicians — Weir Mitchell on Death — everlasting H. W made his appearance when I matronised her darning my stockings, mending my cloak etc, with commendable gravity. Saw but little of dear Tom. Tuesday Felt amazingly well in the morning, and going to college January 3 heard three lectures Miss Mowry, Dr Harvey and Miss Preston. At the conclusion of her lecture Miss Mowry coming to speak to me, kissed me. The strangeness of the idea struck me. Vive our new régime! I noticed to Tom how strange it was that Tennyson in his description of his college with its "Prudes for Proctors, Dowagers for Deans And sweet girl - Graduates in their golden hair" makes even his Princess whom he thinks extravagant in her notions of Woman's duty hesitate and decide for the time, against teaching women medicine, which to me seems far more "Woman's Sphere" than several of the "ologies" she taught. – I know that one of the principal objections that will be made to the study will be its depriving a woman's household of her cares. I have no children, so that I shall not be able to be a very good example of the contrary. But my health is as delicate as most women's and if I can only prove that I am happier, and stronger, and that my household find no discrimination in my cares, and that I can perform those duties of society and hos- -pitality which fall to my share, I think my example will be worth something as an argument. Our lectures were Lucarea , Dyspepsia, and Functions of the Ductless Glands. Tom brought me home "The Hickleburys on the Rhine" of which I read a little to him in the afternoon before I took my nap from which I rose with a severe headache. Took tea at six, had a very pleasant ride with my dear boy in an omnibus sleigh to hear Weir Mitchell lecture on Death which he did very well. His object was to remove the superstitions or popular fallacies on the subjects of there being any agony in the act of death, of there being any life in those corpses which have been found turned in the coffin etc – proving that in the act of decomposition gases were genera- ted which in escaping altered the position of the body. His opening and his illustrations, as well as his delivery of them were – after Thackeray. Otherwise his manner was simple and unaffected. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p010.jpg) — College talk – Tot disappoints me—Emerson's Lecture—Oversleep ourselves— Wednesday Today my headache continuing, Tom urged me to stay in January 4 bed, and not go to college, I grieve to relate that I disobeyed both injunctions. The lectures were – Ulceration of the Os Uteri and various Stomachic Ailments. A very pretty child came as a clinic patient suffering, poor wee thing from "Prolapsus Ani" (it sounded so) [for which Corn and Rye Mush with Molasses was recommended], as well as from inflammation of the Uterus. A young and extremely goodlooking quadroon woman came who had had a miscarriage and since then some constant discharge, and had an enlargement of the left ventricle of the heart. After lecture a discussion on seasickness arose when poor fat Mrs Healey taking out a small and exceedingly soiled handkerchief and crying informed us that her daughter died of it. Then she asked me where I lived, and if I could recommend her a boarding -house. There is something so queer about the woman that these simple questions seemed irresistibly comic. I finished reading Thackeray's little book to Tom, but was forced to go to bed when he went out, feeling very unwell Thursday Lizzie Mitchell spent some time this morning with me, and then January 5. I got Tot's room into nice order for her but a note arrived saying that Cousin Margaret was sick and so she could not come till Saturday. Nothing particular happened till evening when we went to hear Emerson deliver a lecture which, chanced not to please my ladyship. Tom, whose flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes made him really look so exquisitely beautiful, with the dear soul speaking from his face that if I had never been and in love with him before I should have become so now, had great part of his enjoyment spoiled by my being so disagreeable. And I promise I won't spoil my darling's pleasure another time. Friday Tom and I, both overslept ourselves, and lo and behold, January 6 we had completely forgotten that Tom had asked Dr Elder to breakfast, and while Tom was asleep and I half dressed in he came. He stayed till 11 by the bye. I read the Revolt of Islam and of Michelet's History aloud to Bess. After dinner put Tom to sleep with poetry, and felt rather gloomy so came in to write this, and not dispirit my boy when he wakes – In the evening we went over to the Kanes where I read aloud to Mrs Kane. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p011.jpg) 5 —Tot continues to disappoint – Waiting at church. Go to N. Y. to meet Tot — Saturday I went out after my housekeeping this morning and bought some January 7 shirt buttons, pins, darning cotton, and finally a superb bow of ribbon to adorn myself with when Tot should come. Returning home, I put the last touch to the rooms, had Tot's fire blazing cheer- -fully, and having dressed myself took up Kingsley's Hypatia carried it to the dining room and sat down to await their coming. At last in came Tom bringing a note from her. She couldn't come. I was so disappointed, my second fatted calf being killed for nothing; that I should have cried, if my services had not been required, in cooling Tom's wrath. He gave me a note for his mother which I took over. I found her with the Misses Cadwalader to whose balls I m going on Wednesday, and on returning found Tom with the gas lit, and a beautiful set of ornaments for my dress. After dinner I said all the poetry I could remember to put Tom asleep with. After tea he went to a Wistar party where Emerson asked to be introduced to him. I read "Hypatia" till about half past ten, and then went to bed. Sunday Went to St Andrews' in the morning, and after the January 8 usual disagreeable and painful waiting in the porch Mrs Sinkler took me into her pew where she told me I would be welcome every Sunday which was very kind. The sermon was a good one on Wisdom uttering her voice in the streets, and no man regarding her. Henry Wharton walked home with me. In the afternoon Tom took his usual siesta and thought I had better do so too, but I thought it wiser not to do so, as I have so little time for reading, and so I wrote Diary, read my Bible and learned Coleridge's Christmas Carol. Monday Miss Betty Snyder came to turn my green plaid dress. Dr January 9 Elder who had been asked to breakfast, sent his little nephew to say he had a sore eye and begged to be excused. Started at two, with Pat for New York where I arrived very tired and sick, only to have my request that Tot should return with me on Tues- -day refused. I went to bed crying, homesick to return to Tom to a degree that astonished myself. Presently Walter came up and made an agreement with me that, if I would stay till Thursday Tot should return with me. I don't think any one knew how great a sacrifice it was to me to remain away from my dear Tom so long. And after I went to sleep, when Tot came to bed I clasped her in my arms and said, "Oh Tom my love, my darling do let me clasp you in my arms I love you so." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p012.jpg) —Gracie's Death – Return to Phila – Tom sick – Mrs Kane on Fern Rock — Tuesday As I still felt sick and my head ached badly I stayed in January 10 bed and read some of the children's books. Jacob Faithful, Leila at Home, Grace Greenwood's Resolutions of my Childhood, Sins of the Tongue, Kitty Brown Learning to Think, and a fairy story, Princess Ilse. Got up to dinner. Wednesday I felt much better so I got up to breakfast. It was a January 11 dull cloudy day, and I went out on a book-hunt with Harry but got no further than Miller's bookshop, as it began to sprinkle. When we reached home we found that Tot had gone out. "To Aunt Eliza's" thought I, "she has gone for advice, and will make herself miserable." So we took umbrellas and posted off up there, where she was, sure enough, and miserable too sure enough. So we carried her off, and occupied her mind with other matters. — They told me on Monday that dera Gracie died a few days before Christmas. She felt no pain, and was not sick enough to go to bed. Her last words were – "Is this Death, Mamma"? So quietly her pure spirit passed that at first her mother did not know that all was over. So she is gone, to be remembered when we repeat "Footsteps of Angels" among those "The holy ones and weakly Who the cross of suffering bore, Folded their pale hands so meekly And were seen on earth no more." — Papa brought me a beautiful Christmas present this evening – Morson's Edition of C. Lamb's Works in four volumes, Bohn's Miss Mitford's Our Village in two volumes, and Bentley's Coleridge's Table Talk in one volume. We had a long talk about Tot's coming on with me. Poor dear Papa, how unhappy he is! Thursday Oh the dullest rainiest day! And when our journey was January 12. over I found poor Tom very sick in bed. They had never told me of it, though they knew I found. And I found that he had been hurt by my not returning, so that my "welcome home" was more dismal than cheering. Friday At Tom's request wrote a long letter to Tom Cousin Margaret, January 13 and determined on planting two willows at Fern Rock in remembrance of Gracie. Mrs Kane came in to say that "though we had lived in great harmony at Germantown last summer perhaps it was only because I thought it was to be over soon, and that if I was going to shut myself up in a tower it would be better perhaps that they should stay away." Agreeable! I could not help ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p013.jpg) — Willie leaves us. Tot on my temper. Emerson's Lecture. I am cross – Incident about the school crying a little afterwards, for I had really thought she was begin- -ning to love me; but I must begin over again. And as if I wanted Fern Rock! If it weren't for my darling's sake I would have told her how I did feel about it, but he is so good and kind, God bless him, that I couldn't find it in my heart to distress him, the dear one. January 14 Poor Willie left us, wishing some accident might befal Saturday him to detain him here. I worked all the morning at tidying dear Tom's room. Letters from Elisha reached us dated from the 19th to the 23rd July - at Pröven on the West Coast of Greenland, which each of the Kanes said were encouraging, but as they did not seem to feel particularly cheerful, I suppose were not. An exceedingly dull tea set of girls at the Kanes' in the evening Sunday Tom wanted me to be very quiet, as I had had one of my January 15. "chokes" at night, so I only went to church once. Where I had another by the way. It was a missionary sermon – the text "Unto the angel of the church in Philadelphia writes, I have set an open door before thee." Not particularly good. Tom told the Kanes that we gave up our tower. Monday Tot tells me that my temper is worse since I married; that January 16 I get "tantrums." So I must set to work to cure myself. I ordered two shelves from Alexander for Tom's books. Tuesday As we were to dine at the Kanes, I made Alexander put January 17 up the shelves while Tom was at dinner, and then arranged his books and papers on them, and my boy was well pleased. We went to Emerson's Lecture, which no one liked. Tom and I both felt sick; so with our customary precaution we went after the Lecture to Chauveau's and bought half a dollar's worth of candy. Wednesday Tom and Tot were trying dresses on me in the morning, and January 18 I was as cross as a bear, so after they went out, I repented and fixed Tom's room up nicely and mended his clothes. We had great singing work in the evening Thursday Poor Tom quite sick in the morning. I kept in a better humor January 19 today. Went to a dressmaker's about my new ball dress. I forgot to tell at the time, quite a strange incident about the school, so I shall set it down now. When Tom went to pay the rent, he told the owner, a hard old Quaker that he thought part of the repairs ought to be paid for by him (the Quaker). The man said No. Tom then said — that he would not pay, he had married a wife, and must be careful for her sake. The old man ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p014.jpg) Bob and Becky's Children – Emerson's Lecture was silent for a moment. "Has thee supported this school thyself?" Tom said he did not know what right he had to inquire but – Yes, he had. "And thee has taken a wife, has thee?—My circumstances have changed since I saw thee last. My last child and my wife are dead. I will pay the repairs. Does thee want a donation?" No, Tom told him. "Thee spoke once of introducing Schuylkill water on the premises;– Thee may do it." And away he went. — Becky and Robert Patterson spent the evening with us, and really seemed to enjoy it. They seem so happy in each other's love and in loving their children. I am justly punished for my wickedness by the longing I have for a child. In a week or two I should have been a mother. Tom's baby might have lain in my arms and looked at me with his eyes. Oh darling lost one, treasure that I never deserved how my heart yearns for you. I daren't look again at Becky's little Bessie. Last night Tom's speaking of what he would have done with his son, went to my heart. How happy he would have been, with our child, his own baby to love. God help me to gain strength first to complete my course at college and know medicine as a means of usefulness to my fellows, and meanwhile to strengthen body and educate mind till I am a full grown woman. And then I pray that He will grant us the great blessing when I am fitter to be so infinitely blessed. Friday Another dull murky day. I pasted gray wall paper January 20 with strips of crimson laid on the edges as a border, on Tom's old teabox to make a stand for my plants. Mended boots, dress, and stockings. Wrote to Cousin Margaret. and rewrote my visiting list for the first fine day; before dinner. Slept afterwards. After tea heard a capital Lecture on Culture from Emerson. He recommended those who had an object in view to – in fact – "press towards the mark" neglecting luxuries etc, and also spoke of boy's education sensibly. I am afraid I was cross to Tom when he went out, because he did not speak to E— at his lecture; when he gave up Jullien's con- -cert to attend it; instead of going afterwards to visit him. E. announced that Lucy Stone will lecture tomorrow on Woman's Rights and Tom said "We must go." I said "No I can't" remembering that we had already sacrified another of Jullien's concerts, because Cousin Mary Gray and Miss Macalester ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p015.jpg) Nine months married. Pleasant Sunday— whom Tom had invited to play for him were coming. I had been so cross I suppose that he misinterpreted me, for he said to Tot that "Cl[-]avers didn't want to go, so he and she would slip out for an hour, and hear S.I. while I entertained the guests," I would like to go very much, as Tom however made the mistake I won't tell him, and I shall have the secret satisfaction of having endured a great bore for his dear sake. Saturday Nine months married. I don't know how it is that January 21 while I feel as if this delightful way of living had lasted a life-time and that my girl-life had receded away into the remotest dif distance I yet feel very much younger and the remembrance of the old mamma's time is freshening and becoming as vivid as the life of a few months back. — Oh if I only had one baby, like Psyche with her "My babe, my sweet Aglaia, my one child." Oh dear, it seems so long a time before I can hope for it.— That poor little Lily and Cousin Mary spent an exceedingly dull evening with us. I wish the one had a mother, and the other a daughter. It would do them both good. Tom and I were sorry today Sunday I wasn't allowed to go to church today. We read one of January 22 Kingsley's sermons; on Books and Words. How precious a gift words were, and what an account would have to be ren -dered for every good book a messenger and prophet to us, and how wicked it is to neglect their message. We talked a great deal about Papa, and Cousin M, and the children, but could not see anything to do for them, and must just wait until the "bitter bud" unfolds, and God gives us our work. Ah for health for dear Tom and for myself that I might "be up and doing." It is so hard to wait. And oh how I wish I were more Christian, and loved Christ more. All his infinite love touches my heart so little, so little. Monday This week again began unfavorably. True the sky was perfectly January 23 serene and the sun shone brightly, but oh how piercing cold it was! I determined to pay off some of my calls and not to have a long arrear of unpaid calls when I was allowed to go back to college. So off I went felt no worse at the time, read aloud to Mrs. Kane, went to bed woke with a sore throat, head- -ache and fever which have kept me confined until now ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p016.jpg) Mrs Rush's Ball – Mr Macalester's Party Thursday I feel much better to day and am going to arrange January 26 papers, write up diary, make out visiting list, etc. As I missed Mrs Maskoe's ball on Tuesday I am going to Mrs Rush's tonight, a very imprudent thing I think but I hate to disappoint dear Tom so I shall content my- -self with dressing as warmly as I can. Friday Jan. 27 Oh last night was the most wearisome of all my life it seemed! We, my darling and I, did not leave the house till twenty minutes past eleven and returned at two. I was cross to Tom, and feel cross today, but he is at the office and I am going to try really when he returns to be pleasant and make him happy. Today is his thirty-second birthday, dear fellow. But this is not about the ball.—The first part of the time I was ready to cry with shamefacedness, and the rest I felt so weak that I could hardly stand. I wonder why I am so very weak. I have not been particularly sick. The rooms were all very bright and glittering, but the prettiest thing to me, was the greenhouse with its exquisite plants, one of them with a sort of coronal of crimson leaves encircling a set of green and golden cups seemingly filled with honey. And the cool dewy air was so pleasant, contrasted with the heated rooms, and the bores of people. But the fine rooms reminded me of hotels and so did the supper table, and a little arched passage leading into a tiny room both hung with red and covered with pictures reminded me of the passage that led to my stateroom and of the Ladies' Cabin on board the Europa. The flowers were the aristocracy of the place decidedly, and looked in their cool graceful self possession much more as if the place belonged to them, than to poor, heated, rouged, fat Mrs Rush. — I saw no living creature whose manner I would like to have, and I said to Tom that I did not think I had gained anything but he said yes, I had taken the first step to lose my shyness and awk- -wardness. Saturday Spent the whole morning in the house, and in the evening January 28 spent a tolerably pleasant evening at the Macalesters'. Sunday Stayed at home, sleeping the greater part of the day. January 29 I wonder whether I shall have such holy happy Sundays at Fern Rock as I sometimes had in German- -town. I talked with dear kind old Judge Kane about the place in the evening going over the plans with him. And tried, successfully to interest the other Bessie in her little room. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p017.jpg) Mrs Brown's tea party — Country drive & break down Monday Darned stockings, read "Albuminous Compounds" to myself January 30 and the Revolt of Islam to Bage in the morning. Slept, croche'd – and I read aloud Pickwick, and wrote diary in the evening. Tuesday Dawdled about, wrote to Harry, darned, sewed etc in the January 31 morning, and in the evening went to an exceedingly stupid tea party at Mrs Brown's where I tried however to behave properly, that is to be cheerful and sit up straight so as to please my boy, in which I succeeded. As the carriage didn't come we went off alone and on foot home, and as Tom was speaking to me I saw a woman passing us, look at us rather earnestly. Without having noticed her particularly she somehow impressed me, and Tom saying to himself "Poor child" I asked Who is poor child? and he told me what the poor thing was. I do wish I could do something for those poor creatures. Oh how much there is that I long to do, and yet here's this frail body that lets me do- nothing. Here is the last day of January and I have only been to college three days of the whole month, useless creature that I am. Why- do I cumber the ground — unless perhaps God will give me strength in time to do something for Christ's sake and man's before I go hence and be no more. Wednesday Last night my boy told me that he thought we would February 1 have a beautiful day, and that he would take me with him to Fern Rock, but the morning rose so cloudy that I thought it best not to remind him, and when my housekeeping was over I ran up to Bessie's room and began to read to her. At half past eleven my darling boy drove up for me, the sky had cleared, and away we went. We had a delicious day, the workmen had struck for wages at F. R so that it was very quiet and pleasant there, and in coming home after a long drive our wheel came off. We then scampered across some fields over to Germantown and arrived there just four minutes before the five o' clock train into which we entered at the Turnpike Bridge and came home highly delighted with our adventures. Tom and I went to bed early and so escaped a long visit from good Dr C– who has many virtues though not the one of going away in time. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p018.jpg) Poor Tom wearied at F.R. Bad dreams Thursday Tom poor fellow tired and lame started for Fern Rock. About February 2. twelve I was starting for a walk as it was a really exquisite day when Mrs Eliza Seiper called. I was very much pleased with her and accompanied her to Mrs Patterson's. Poor Becky looked very ill. It was such a balmy delicious day that I took a great longing for a pot of violets which I commissioned little Johnny to get for me. Friday I did not feel very well today but sat down and sewed February 3 till I had to lie down - I felt quiet and grave today. Today it might have come. But I had to cheer up and be pleasant because poor boy has a disappointment I fear, and then as it was Elisha's birthday all the Kanes dined with us. In the evening I wrote a letter to M. Jones, and refused Tot ink and paper to write a second letter, she having written as much as I thought good for her; which mightily provoked her wrath. Saturday This morning about dawn Tom was wakened by hearing February 4 me laughing, as he supposed, in my sleep. Bending over to look at me he found my pillow wet with tears and when he woke me I clasped him close and cried again with joy that it was a dream. For I had dreamed that I had noticed a sort of constraint and gloom over the whole family and that I had at last elicited partly from one and partly from another, that / Tom had a dread- -ful disease of the heart, that he was to sail for Florida immediately and that though the 13th of June was nom- -inally fixed for his return yet no one expected him to live and worst of all I was no to accompany him. When I was awaked it was just at the point where I was kneeling beside his bed and begging him to take pity on me and let me go with him. This dream made me feel quite sad all day. I sewed and read my Physiology in the morning, and in the evening, first read aloud to Tom while he dressed for a party and then afterwards to the Judge, spending quite a pleasant evening Sunday As it was a clear day I thought I would please the Judge February 5 by going with him to hear his new choir. and But I St Agatha's Day found that the choir did not sing till next Sunday, and that the Judge had neuralgia. However Bess was going alone so I went with her, and we heard a missionary sermon. The minister was very much in earnest, poor fellow, but was no orator. I did not take my nap at the usual time because I wanted to think over earnestly what my duty was upon a certain point. So when Tom lay down I knelt ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p019.jpg) Decide about the G. W. Day at Mr Thomas' house in the country down beside him, resting my head on his, and prayed that my thoughts might be guided rightly, and so, placing my reasons for and against– opposite each other I tried to determine as one unconcerned. Medicine, Health and Self with some reasons or fears rather on the score of Religion, Education etc, arrayed themselves against Pleasure to the Kanes, a yearning in myself that grows constantly stronger, and most of all - Tom's happiness. Besides this came whether my duty did not lie with the last. I think and hope that I came to the right decision before I slept. I told Tom in the evening, and the unexpected happiness it gave him made me quite sure I was right. But I will decide more fully on the anniversay of my wedding day, and then, when we are quite settled at Fern Rock, I will wear some of those pretty French Calicoes that Tom likes, which have a white ground with a blue brown red or green little figure in them. I am very happy that I have decided. Now I will study earnestly and take care of my health that the dresses may be becoming. It is exactly nine months today since I made a contrary resolution. Monday I intended to go to Medical School this morning but it February 6 was so cold that Tom preferred that I should exercise myself about the house which I accordingly did. I wrote diary, made a list of calls for Tom, went out with poor Tom whose throat is very sore, and bought a lace collar and some divnity bands to make cuffs for my green dress, because Tom thinks that I look nicely with edges of white peeping out. I adorned myself with the lace collar that he might see it, at dinner. Tuesday We started at eleven for Mrs Thomas' house in the country where February 7 we dined, and after dinner Bob Patterson sang – "Flow on, thou shining river," "Farewell Bessy," and "Here a sheer hulk, his poor Tom Bowling". Poor Bob, after he had finished singing I saw his mouth work painfully, and Tom retired behind the rest and looked — away back into old times, and seemed unhappy. What a detestable, wicked, hateful wretch I am! I felt quite a momentary pang of jealousy when Tom leaned over Helen Patterson and urged her to sing for him, saying in his sweet low voice that I know every tone of, Ah do sing darling, Please sing darling — I felt as if I were utterly forgotten and that when he remembered me it would be with abhorrence as he thought of my ugly face, my rude ways and my incapacity to understand his feelings. Thank God it lasted but a moment. How miserable those ideas used to make me. Now, I know that my intense love for him, makes me more truly his wife than and one else ever could be. My darling. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p020.jpg) Whitby Hall — Lectures — Talk with the Judge We started off, when we reached Aunt Anne's, further on, down into the valley and up again to old Whitby, a house one hundred years old this summer. Mrs Kane, a Mrs Knowles, the grand daughter, and a vulgar Mrs Thomas the daughter in law, of the old Mrs Thomas, were sitting with her. She is the only [---] [---] that I have seen. Mrs Leiper, and Mrs W. P taylor seem to be [---] [---] and it shows in their manner, but they are not such finished [---] [---] old one seems to be Her last sister died two or three days ago, and this poor lady a solitary leaf on an old tree is looking forward to her own death and sent for my boy to tell him her reminiscences of old times before she should die, knowing that he is the only one who cares for such things. Last night he thought that his mother might be feeling lonely out there, and that her night's rest would not benefit her, and off he started on foot to go and see her and give her family news. His foot hurt him and he had to turn back. He's the best fellow in the world and I am so proud to be his wife. When we came home I spent the evening next door as I Butler was there, and coming home read a little of Ruth to Tom. Wednesday A sloppy slushy day. Woke with quite a cold. Wrote February 8 diary, fixed accounts, made cuffs, the latter because dear Johnny came upstairs, and remembering that it was Clinic Day I said to myself "Now Johnny's come over to do his duty until it's time to go" so I waited patiently talked and listened till he went off to his medical studies when I ran off to mine. I finished copying out one Lecture and read some Anatomy of the Heart, which took me till two o'clock. Then I dressed and waited for Tom who came home wet and miserable and was quite cheered to find me waiting for him. In the evening after being over at the other house a while, I ran home – cross at heart I regret to say, and read Medicine until dear Tom came over for me, saying that the Judge wanted to read me an article in the paper, so I tied on my hood and went across. I found it was a critique on Elisha's book in the Morning Post which I read aloud to him, and then we talked over old college days etc, till bed time. I do love the Judge. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p021.jpg) Lectures – Tot has a sore throat Thursday As today was a beautiful one, and my cold was better, February 9 I sallied out to Medical School. Some darning detained me until the eleven o'clock Lecture, and then I only remained an hour as my heart fluttered a good deal, and I am determined to take care of myself for his dear sake. The lecture was first on Yellow Jaundice – then on Splenits and then he began on diseases of the Kidneys. The second was to me the interesting one, [---] He began by describing the situation of the Spleen, saying that very little was known of its offices. One is suppossed to be that of receiving the blood which is not required for the time by other organs, as for instance during the int interval between the periods of digestion. Splenitis is often mistaken for other diseases, of the Kidneys, of the lower lobe of the left lung etc. Some of its symptoms are – either a dull, heavy pain, or an acute shorting one, enlargement, and pain on pressure, sometimes attended with vomiting or shortness of breath. It affects either the peritoneal covering?, or the parenchyma of the spleen itself, but until after death it is impossible to tell which affects the patient. It is sometimes cured, but often lasts a life time. Chronic splenitis is known in Malarious countries as the ague cake, as it frequently accompanies ague, and malarious diseases. In Bengal where it is very common they attempt its cure by actual cautery, by running a long needle into it when it swells, and they use the expressed oil of Mustard Seed. Here they use Iodine etc. Travelling about, visiting watering places etc recommended. ———— When I came home I found Tot looking mis- -erable with her sore throat and nose, so I made her walk back as far as school with me, and then home again. — We had just sat down to dinner when Tom came home, and after dinner he sang a while — "The last Review" I think it was. And here I must record a lamentable deficiency of ear on his part. I went upstairs to lay out my dress for the ball, previous to lying down to rest and began humming — Ibbetson's Hymn, and Tom asked me if I were not trying to hum "The last Review"!! Any one with the least particle of ear ought to have known what I was trying to do!! After resting I took a bath and put on my clothes with the exception of my frock and made tea in my room ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p022.jpg) Mrs Cadwalader's Ball for Tom and Tot. I laughed till my heart ached so that the tears ran down my cheeks from pain. After I was all dressed we departed. I had been flattered into quite a good humor with myself and every one else. Sophie the upholsteress was in the dressing room so I immediately looked round for hints for Fern Rock. The most practicable one was the dressing stand which I daresay was a packing case like the one in Tom's room. It was covered first with white stuff, and then with a plain full skirt of white muslin. A row of crimson gimp at the top, and two some distance apart at the bottom made a simple and exceedingly pretty little affair. Coming down stairs we saw a whole crowd of people quite jamming up the room, several divorcees, and some few brides, and fiancées. I could not help pitying exceedingly some few ugly young girls who leaned against a marble table looking anxiously at the gentlemen as if they could sing – "Nobody coming to marry me, nobody coming to woo?" One young woman whirling round in the ball room had, as I thought, a scar on the back of her neck, between her shoulders, and an exceedingly red face. It turned out that what I took for a scar was produced by her being so tightly laced that her shoulder-blades nearly met, and the flesh between them was puckered into a red heap – [---] How I would have liked to cut the Gordian knot and set the poor red flesh free! Fanny Cadwalader was dancing in a sort of mazy whirl, her transparent white skirts spreading round her, while her "floods of eyes" were fixed on her partner's button hole, with a sort of unconscious melancholy fainting expression. I half expected to hear a swish on the floor, to see her white skirts change to foaming water and Miss Fanny like an Undine or a water nymph, melt away into the fountain. I think I was very bad, for though I tried to be cheerful and sit up straight I said and thought ill tempered things of my neighbors, and I do believe I could not have said a thing that wasn't, the whole night. Tom showed me a lady whose scrawny neck and ugly face I had been laughing at to myself, and made me ashamed by telling me how nobly she had held up through adverse fortunes, and how even while she was going to have ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p023.jpg) Miss Mourys Lecture — Fears and Hopes — Ruth — a baby she used to sit up working with her "Willy" till two or three in the morning, copying papers. I do hate myself, and it is the severest reproof in the world to me, to have my darling praise me as he does. — When we came home at about two o'clock I put all my things away so that nothing should interfere with my getting up early Friday Tom away to Fern Rock and I to college intending February 10 to stay all day, as there are so few more weeks two from tomorrow before Commencement Day. But it was Miss Mowry's lecture and on some of the troubles of a woman's delivery, and though I tried not to think of myself, yet my heart began fluttering and I felt so frightened and sick that I could scarcely stay the whole lecture through, and then had to go. Oh dear oh dear it will require all my love for Tom and all the hopes and fancies I can cluster round the after time, of "baby fingers, waxen touches", ever to give my courage to go through all that dreadful suffering and the weary nine months before it. However I must enjoy and be thankful for the health, and the exceeding happiness I have now, and remember to put my trust in Him who "will gently lead those that are with young." And oh I hope He will guide me in everything. Saturday Tom made me lie abed on account of my cold until about February 11. eleven when I dressed, and going to the next house read the two last cantos of the Revolt of Islam to Bessie, which took me till one o'clock, when I went home. I sat in the window waiting for my boy who had been four hours with Gardette the dentist, and would I knew have a headache when he came home, so I borrowed Ruth to read to him. But he thought it injurious as to its moral tone and didn't think it right to listen. And I was hurt as if he had spoken so of some relative of my own because I liked Ruth so much. So there was a little "ruffle" on our evenness of getting along. The estimate of the expense of Fern Rock being made out this evening and coming up to about double what Tom supposed we agreed to give up the Tower and the G.W. and take a little room off the drawing room. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p024.jpg) Lectures — Funny collegiate mistake Sunday I went to the Presbyterian Church in the morning and February 12 poor old Judge Leiper walked home with me, pointing out the scenes of his various old associations as we walked along Market Street. In the afternoon I was naughty. Tom and I went up to Schuylkill 3rd Street to ask how Mr Sam Leiper was. – As H Wharton was earlier than usual this Sunday we had no singing. Monday Attended the whole morning course of lectures, and was February 13 very much amused at my own expense by the light in which every one had viewed my influenza. One of the two sweet expressioned thin women in rusty black asked me how long I had been married. I told her; Between nine and ten months. "Ah, said she, blushing, I have one daughter who has been married a little longer than you, and I am anxious to perfect myself in this branch (Obstetrics) to be able to help her. She cannot bear the idea of having a gentleman to attend her, and I don't wonder. While I was married, (she is a widow) I suffered greatly from not having had been able to make up my mind to tell my troubles to my family physician, though he is an excellent man. And so I am qualifying myself to help my daughter. Is that what's the matter with you?" Oh no, said I, crimsoning to the roots of my hair. – Then Miss Preston after her lecture took my hand and said "I am glad to see you back. How are you?" "Oh my cold is almost gone"— "Are you going to be well? said she, gravely. Again when we went in to the room where all those dreadful skeletons and dried up creatures are, another woman turning to me said – "Don't allow thyself to be frightened." and whenever anything was said supposed to be applicable to my case the thirty two eyes of the class peeped at me, so that I dared not even twirl my thumbs at last. Oh it was very funny. Tuesday As it was a dull foggy day Tom did not want me to go to February 14 school but I was determined, so off I trotted to the shoemaker's first, and next to school where I heard Puerperal Fever and Diseases of the Kidneys continued. Dr Harvey was within a few minutes of the close of his lecture when Miss Bates, who acts as "chief cook and bottle washer" handed him a paper, after reading which he said that Miss Bates requested him to conclude his lecture, and a few minutes before twelve, and as it happened that he was at the end of a subject, he would do so now. So bowing, he walking off. Strange, that ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p025.jpg) College — First Clinic Operation such a coincidence as the subject's ending just then, should happen by chance! Then Miss Bates explained that, Dr H– was to deliver our Valedictory. Did not the class think it would be advisable to request him for a copy, and to print it at the end of the Report. Then, whether it would not be advisable to prepare a set of resolutions complimentary to the Faculty, or a Letter? As no one spoke, I said – I propose that Miss Bates be requested to draw them up, — which was assented to by the class. Miss B. with a gratified simper said – Oh, but I couldn't do it all by myself. Mrs Arnold, the handsome brazen looking Providence-woman, who had been thirsting to put her nose into the affair, then said in the affected Dublin English tone she thinks fit to assume on state occasions– Oi'll do moy part if you would loike me to help, — and Miss Minna Elliger (Allentown Lehigh Co Pa) was also detailed to draw up the important sentences. As it rained yesterday I gave half my umbrella to a pretty Quaker student, who, speaking of Fowler's and Wells' Phrenological shop which is next door to us, said she intended to have her head examined, but that she believed it would be disagreeable because he might say that she had a predisposition to insanity. This, in the coolest manner imaginable. — Today it cleared up gradually, until at noon the air was deliciously mild and balmy so I came home, and read the two first cantos of Prometheus Unbound to Bess. I had had some sort of idea that Tom might come and take me out to Fern Rock with him but he didn't. Sewed the evening long. At night waked up twice with laughing, and laughed myself to sleep again. [drawings of two faces at the right of the paragraph, entitled Minna Elliger Horton] Wednesday Another rainy day. Tom tried to persuade me not to go February 15 to school but I was obstinate. However we compromised the matter by my taking a carriage there. While I was waiting for the carriage I learned Tennyson's "New Year." Miss Mowry lectured on Puerperal Mania, and Mr Harvey on Uric Acid etc. As clinic time had arrived I should have gone away, but that it was raining hard at the time, and I thought the weather might moderate if I remained some time longer, so I waited. There was only one patient, a Quakeress who came, accompanied by an exceedingly beautiful woman, Mrs Jackson a Quaker lecturer on Physiology. Some questions were asked the woman. Her name, Hannah Ferris, Shoe Binder, aged 46, residing at Derby. She was a married woman, had had two miscarriages, and one dead and one living child born. After ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p026.jpg) Hannah Jackson – Miss Bates – Hannah Ferris the birth of this last had been suffering these eleven years, had great pain in the back, as well as in the bladder, uterus etc. She would submit to an operation. Accordingly she was stretched on one of the benches, and Miss Preston began piling shawls under her head. My cloak with its silk lining I found would be softest, so I gave it. I felt dreadfully frightened and like running away, but I prayed, and in a moment "Strength came to me that equalled my desire." I jumped up, walked rapidly to her and examined the vagina through the speculum as Miss Preston held it. I went back to my seat, but seeing the poor thing's face working with pain, and that one of the pupils was stroking her hand (the one in which she held her handkerchief while the other one was clenched on the back of the bench) I wiped her poor eyes, and then stroked her hair and brow with my cold hands, as I do Tom's when he is in pain, during the time she lay there, whispering comfort, and to bear up for the sake of her family. I heard Mrs Jackson say she was anxious to be at home on their account, so I spoke of them, and fortunately struck the right nail on the head, for she looked up and said "Oh yes, even if it gives me no relief, it may be a comfort to them that I have tried this." Presently Mrs Jackson said - Well Hannah as thee has found such a kind friend, I will leave thee for half an hour to attend to my little matters– so off she went. Miss Preston who had looked twice or thrice round her in search of a syringe said she must go for it, but would be back in a quarter of an hour, and said to me, "That's right, will thee go on while I am away. It keeps her soothed and quiet." Miss Bates in her newborn dignity of graduate said – "You'll make a capital physician Mrs Kane." – "Oh shall I. Doctor Bates, said I, what makes you think so."– "'Tis because thee is kind- -hearted", put in Miss Collins my pretty Quakeress. "Ah yes," chimed in the patient, "that she is. You don't know the difference I feel, with you, ladies, and having a gentleman. Though to be sure I think Doctor Smith was carelessly cruel to me. He first gave me first one" etc etc. I remember well enough what she said, but there is no use writing it down, suffice it to say, he had treated her cruelly. Then Miss Bates produced from a sort of breast pocket (she apes the man in a sort of stride, and wearing polka jackets of gray cloth as like a man's blouse or rather a boy's loose jacket as possible) the letter she had composed, requesting a copy of the Valedictory for publication. When she had finished, I moved a vote of thanks to Miss Bates. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p027.jpg) Bitter disappointment Visit Hannah Ferris After Miss Preston returned I undertook to buy a syringe for the patient, but I stopped in a shop to buy a little worsted pattern for Nell to copy, and the matching of the colours took so long that I had to hurry home to dinner. My boy promised to send it to Nell and an invitation to the Bachelor's Ball here, to Harry. He was so happy about my having actually seen an operation, and looked so radiant and his kisses seemed to give me such extra life that I felt as if I could dance. He insisted. Read Prometheus aloud in the evening to Bessie. Thursday As it was snowing hard Tom made me take a carriage, February 16 and he bought the syringe for me. I ordered the carriage to come for me at one. I found the class not quite ready for lecture and so I looked at a new sort of stitch in canvass Mrs Holles wanted to show me, went with my pretty Quakeress into the dissecting-room where the smell made me feel sick. Saw only two subjects, two children nearly picked clean to the bone, preparing for drying. Heard three lectures. Miss Mowry on the Indications of Disease in children. Dr Harvey on Kidneys, and Miss Preston on the Developement of the Foetus, illustrated with quantities of Papier Maché uteri opening and showing the Foetus inside- I hope it was not wrong, but at any rate I was punished for it. At the distance I sat one of them just at the age mine was, [-] looked so pretty to my eyes that I longed to see it closer. Mrs Kane offered to show me mine, but I had refused, because I was afraid it would be so utterly shapeless, and all these months I had so wished to believe and think of it, as of a very little baby, and when I saw this at a distance my eyes dimmed with joyful tears. It looked so pretty. And after the lecture I went up to the table on pretence of speaking to Miss Preston about the poor woman, really to look more closely at the little figure that I longed to steal. Perhaps it was morbid feeling and justly rebuked, but oh my heart sickened when I saw it. But that was only a figure. Oh darling little baby, Tom's baby that I would so love if you were alive now, I will never think of you as like that, only as you come in dreams, my own dream-child when your name is Hope, and you lie on my breast and look at me with Tom's eyes, I don't know whether a soul was appointed for you, but I long so to believe that I may see it in heaven, my darling. Miss Preston and Mrs Holles (the lady who told me she was studying for her daughter's sake) accompanied me to see the woman. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p028.jpg) Mr Sam Leiper dies who was staying with her sister, in a house up one of those archways in Miner Street. We entered from the door, directly into a small room where two untidy boys of fifteen or sixteen were lounging about, a swarm of children on the floor and a young woman sewing carpetbags. She asked us to walk up the narrow stair-case to her sister's (our patient) room. It was small but exceedingly clean, a new looking Ingrain carpet on the floor, a Venetian going across the room as a pathway, a nice counterpane on the bed, and nice mahogany furniture. Here we found her, stripped and examined her, and gave her two injections. In the midst Miss Preston turned to me – Mrs Kane, have you a child? — As usual I was building castles. I started blushed and nearly said Yes in my confusion, and then blurted out – No! After we left the woman's house I offered to take Miss Preston home, she looked so worn and weary. She demurred a little but consented in the end with a sort of sigh of relief. She lives a long way off, in Wood street, and so we had quite a conversation She told me that Mrs Holles was the widow of a clergyman. Then she asked me what countrywoman I was. I asked her why she had asked me if I had a child, being afraid that perhaps she thought I ought not to see such things. But she said "Only because I knew thee had been married some little time." So I said I had had a miscarriage, and she asked when, and "That makes me sorry for thee" and took my hand in her gentle little one, and held it the remainder of the drive. We did not talk much but when we parted, exchanged invitations to call. When I came home I found my own darling at home and in bed poor fellow, but he held me in his arms and kissed me. How happy I am when he is pleased with me, and kisses me so! He made me promise to drink some wine at dinner and by mistake I drank raw brandy. However I lay down and took my usual afternoon sleep so I and did not suffer from it. Friday Coming down stairs I found the shutters bowed. Mr Leiper January 17 had died in the night. I went over and sat a little while with Mother and then went off to Miss Preston's lecture. She was still on yesterday's subject, or rather on the Foetal circulation, and spoke it all at me so that I nearly laughed. After lecture she told me that the woman had gone to the country and had desired her to thank me for my kindness. Coming home I met my darling, who is now lying on the floor beside me reading, the paper so I shall leave off to get a kiss, before I dress for dinner. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p029.jpg) Judge Leiper at our house I have been worried and unhappy about what I saw on Thursday and so I got a little hysterical after dinner. At night I told my darling all, and he comforted me, and I cried myself to sleep in his arms. Saturday Tom did not let me go out this morning, and I lay in bed February 18 till twelve, and then I went over to Bess, and finished the Prometheus. My darling came home early and I finished the number of the "Newcomes" to him. Also I read, to please her, a novel called Woman's Friendship that poor Agnes brought to lend me. At tea-time I was told that old Judge Leiper would sleep here, and I expressed myself very unchristianly I am afraid though I don't remember what I said. If there were any excuse for me it was that my back ached, and I felt very weak, but I am afraid I was very cross. At any rate I hurt poor Tom's feelings, and when I felt ashamed, and went upstairs to get out soap, candles, etc and the key of the wine closet, intending to beg him not to be vexed I found he had gone next door. I went there, but found he was closeted with Mr Leiper, and as I found Tot reading to Bess, and Johnny Green to Mrs Kane, I came home to wait Mr Leiper's coming here, having conquered my bad feelings. I wrote to Walter and wrote this, but as it is growing late I am going over next door again. Sunday I closed my book last night, but just as I was going over met February 19 Tom and Mr Leiper, whom I welcomed as cordially as I could This morning I went with Charlotte to a Mr Cooper's church where we / were really hospitably treated, for a gentleman came forward at once and gave us a pew. In the evening Tot went over to read to Bess, and Tom went to the Post Office where he expected to return in ten minutes, so I waited, read my Bible and learned several pieces of poetry to say to him. He didn't come home till bed-time and then Mr L– came with him, but when we were up in our room I told him I had learned them and he made me repeat them, and said he liked them very much. Monday The day of Mr Sam Leiper's funeral, a howling snow February 20 storm tearing round the house, and moaning through the streets. Bess and I went to the house about eleven. Never having been to a funeral before I was nervously disposed to laugh when we were kept sitting in perfect silence for more than an hour before two short addresses were made. Then names being called out T. and I found ourselves in a carrriage ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p030.jpg) Mr Leiper's Funeral – Orlando Furioso – Miss Mowry on Infants with R. and H. Patterson who told me that poor Becky's baby is dying of convulsions. I am so sorry for her, to lose her little darling. Poor little Charley Leiper looked so sad and pretty and David Copperfieldish that I could have cried. — When the gentlemen left us to go into the church -yard, our horses took fright at a band, one of them, while kicking, got his leg over the traces and the people insisted on our getting out, and entering another of the carriages, much against the will of its elder occupant, the poor little Witch-Taylor. The driver was drunk too, and could scarcely be persuaded to take Helen home. Tuesday The snow lying very deep on the ground Tom stayed February 21 till one o'clock at home, working. Then, he went down town, and I trudged off to ask how Becky's baby was. Still alive I found, poor little darling. I thought I should have such a nice evening with Tom but he went out all the evening. I stayed over with the Judge and Mrs Kane. He gave me a handsome copy of Ariosto's Orlando Furioso in six volumes, and read Shakspere to me till half past eleven, so that I had a very pleasant evening, instead of the dull one I expected. I kept awake till I heard Tom come home so as to welcome him with a cheerful room and a pleasant face, my darling! Ten months married today! Wednesday Wakened early with by the Chimes ringing in Washington's February 22 birthday. I always feel when I hear him glorified, as though he were another Mrs Okill. At college they gave me several Platform Tickets for the Commencement on Saturday. Tom was out this evening too, so I missed reading to him, as I wanted. Ruth Mr Wharton paid an exceedingly long and quite pleasant visit. Bess was here. — Our lecture (the most interesting to me, I mean) was on the orgin of children's diseases. She spoke of the unnecessary use of powder as a preventive for excoriations of the infant's limbs saying that it was apt to absorb the secretion and then drying, to cake, and thus chafe the limbs. If positive excoriations had taken place the powder might be used, but it must be removed before it cakes. Better to anoint the part affected with Gouraud's Cerate or Lard or Tallow and lay over it two alot pieces of rag, one bandaging the limb, the other between it, and the sore place. On each of these must be placed enough of cerate, to enable them to slip past each other instead of rubbing on the part affected. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p031.jpg) Commencement Thursday Heard Miss Mowry's farewell lecture (No that's Friday, I have February 23 forgotten all about these two days, the fact is.) I only know that on Friday I heard Dr. Hussell's lecture in the afternoon, and Tom came for me, and we went home together. Thursday Mr Greeley came and stayed till Friday morning. Saturday Tom gave me this whole day. He came for me at 1/2 past 10 and February 25 we started off together, and arrived at the Musical Fund Hall in time. We found nearly all the people had arrived, and the committee room quite full. Miss Bates had on a gray dress and bonnet with pale blue ribbons next her face, a slight colour in her cheeks and being toned down by fright looked quite pretty and creditable. So also Minna Elliger whose eyes several times looked as if they were ready to start from her head with fright. She wore a black velvet cloak and hat and cherry ribbons and also looked nicely. Of the other two, Mrs Lusinda Brown and Lizzie Greenwood Shattuck, I had not been afraid. I introduced Tom to Miss Mowry and Miss Preston, and invited them to come to tea on Tuesday next. Mrs Arnold rushed forward, wanting an introduction but I avoided giving her any, till the end when she obtruded herself so that I could not help it. At length we formed in procession, and marched up towards the platform. As we drew near we could hear the music sounding and the clapping as the students appeared. When we were all seated, the four graduates at the right side of the platform, Mr Cleveland in the centre, and two clergymen, the secretary and an empty chair on the left. In the second row, the teachers on the right, then students (among whom Tom and I found ourselves, Tom behind Mr Cleveland) and students and their friends filling up the rest of the row and the platform behind; one of the gentlemen came up and insisted on Tom's coming front which he resisted for some time, on the plea that he wanted to stay by me. "Then bring Mrs Kane with you." "I am very comfortable here" says poor Tom. "Yes, but we want you in front" said the man, so away he had to go. Then Mr Bartine offered prayer, then came music. Then Mr Cleveland rose and in Latin, conferred their degrees upon the girls whose familiar names sounded so funnily, be-latinized– Lucindam Brown, Minnam Elliger Elizabetham H Bates, Elizabetham G Shattuck. The last had [printed card in middle of page] THIRD ANNUAL COMMENCEMENT OF THE Female Medical College OF PENNSYLVANIA, TO BE HELD IN THE MUSICAL FUND HALL, On Saturday, February 25, 1854, At 11 o'clock, A.M. PLATFORM TICKET. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p032.jpg) Commencement not arrived in time so Mrs Arnold stepped forward and personated her, very composedly. Then under the direction of Dean Johnson the four new doctors in the midst of great applause, traversed the platform and made their appearance among the audience. Then came the Hunters' Chorus, and Dr Harvey stood up to deliver the valedictory. He spoke low, and Mr Cleveland kept whispering into the hand, that Dr H. always holds behind his back, louder! louder! At last Dr H. turned with a face of such indignant remonstrance and mowed at him as if he could have expressed— "How the devil can I?" without speaking. I never saw it so plainly expressed, in all my life. It had the effect of silencing Mr C— but the poor fellow was tortured by ingenious applications of boot toes from the two clergymen, and had besides the mortification of seeing several people walk out. I left so sorry for him that I could not listen to his lecture. Tom said it was a capital one. Then came music again, a benediction and we dis- -persed. I intoduced Tom to the new doctors Bates and Elliger, kissed and congratulated Mrs Brown because she looked so friendless, and blessed Miss Shattuck in my heart. I did feel thankful to God for such a noble creature. Three years of close study over, she now goes as a missionary away to Birmah. God bless her, and make her happy! Then Tom introduced me to Mrs Lucretia Mott, and then he and I, as happy as two mortals well could be, started off to buy a mate for our dear little canary, but the man said she didn't need a mate, was better without etc. We were disappointed because we wanted him to have this an Anniversary. Then we tramped off to a green house for flowers to commemorate the day with, but not finding them there went to look for another. On our way we stopped at the Patterson's to ask after the baby. On the steps before entering. I said to Tom – I hope it isn't dead, poor little thing. It would cloud our Day. — Oh, said he, it must be better Today. Sure enough it was very much better. — Then we went to a greenhouse and chose a beautiful Heliotrope, a Catalonian Jessamine, and a Wall-Flower. — At Simes' we brought a pot of Pomatum that we needed, and two essences – New Mown Hay for Tot, and Sweet Pea for us. In the evening my boy's feelings were hurt, next door but I made him play on the piano, and presently ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p033.jpg) Commencement. the darling went over and apologised! Dear fellow I wasn't good enough to think he ought to do that, but he did it, and I was very glad. When we went to bed I said him to sleep with hymns. Sunday Read with Tot, then listened to Tom's singing part February 26 of the Stabat Mater. Talked over home affairs, began diary, dined, finished diary, read to myself and went to sleep on the sofa, slightly inclined to be indignant with Tom for going upstairs to speak with Pat. I received a lesson from the sequel. Poor Tom came into the room. Lying half awake on the sofa, I forgot my small pettishness and petted him, not knowing anything about what had happened. The poor fellow looked at me with such eyes, full of an expression I have only seen once before, and told me, that Pat and Johnny had been so rude to him. J— saying that he was mean. Mrs Kane had said that she didn't think harmony could exist be- -tween us, and that unless we would build a tower she wouldn't come to stay with us, and that we must sell to Judge Kane. As she well knew, we could not afford the tower, it was simply a cool turning us out. And I think it was a cruelly unkind thing to do to Tom whose first object in going there had been her happiness and who was so fond of the place. If I had not been angry at the treatment of my boy and a little bit hurt that they could not "live in harmony" with me, I should have been simply delighted at the (or with the) prospect of staying in Girard Street, being free from the load of debt, and not being mewed up in one room at F.R. I don't think I would have been so disagreeable to them as they thought, but as they thought it, I think it much better that we should part. I'm afraid they aren't quite so perfect as Tom thinks. — We went out walking, and decided on our part, I told Tom I didn't think it was honorable to the Judge to repurchase at a smaller price what he had sold for a greater, and that I thought we had better sell to any one else. Tom agreeing, told them so, and his mother said that he said that because he wanted to make a profit on the place. My poor boy came home late at night, heartsore and sick. I have thought it best to write all this down, that in closing the book I may put away with it all bitter feeling. Perhaps some explanation of this conduct ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p034.jpg) 05 Have a tea party – Mr Thomas dies may arise when I read this over some time hense. Monday Out all day. BK. wished us to come over and help February 27 entertain the Dunlaps in the evening. I felt a great disinclination to go, but my darling urged me, and I went. Tuesday Paid some visits, and entertained Miss Preston February 28 and Miss Mowry in the evening. Gave Mrs Kane a tidy I made for her. Commenced mats for Johnny to make myself feel kindly to them all. Wednesday Called on Miss Thompson, L. Mitchell, and the Dunlops March 1 to ask them to take tea with me tomorrow, and on S. Butler and Miss Scott to return visits. Went through downstairs closets with Agnes, through upstairs closets by myself, and arranged the store-room. In the evening wrote diary, and balanced accounts for the month. They were very satisfactory ones. Thursday Went down to Farrand's to order ice-cream for tonight, and stopped March 2nd at Lily Macalester's on my way. Arranged papers etc. Bell Thompson, Nanny Dunlap and Letitia Mitchell came to tea. Friday. Didn't feel very well so sat and sewed at a toilet cover and March 3rd finished one mat for Johnny. After tea went to hear an exceedingly stupid lecture from a Mr Park Benjamin. Saturday Mr Edward Davis paid us a very pleasant visit this morning March 4th and them Tom, Tot and I drove out to Fern Rock. Coming home sick I did not rise again till the morning. Tom went to hear Mr Benjamin, and afterwards tried to go out to see Mr Thomas but could find no conveyance. Sunday Tom started off very early for Mr Thomas's. The milkman March 5th said that there was no hope of his life this morning. Not being well didn't go to church this morning, but sat and read my Bible, Keble, Prayer and Hymnbooks. Received a note from Tom and sent him one. Wrote to Papa. Dined at the other house. Read to BK. Lay down to sleep. Waking up with a violent headache found Tom had come home. Monday H Wharton paid a visit of fearful length in the evening. Learned Tennyson's Sea Fairies surreptitiously under the table. Tuesday Tom and I went to hear Antoinette Brown's delightful Lecture on Woman's Rights. Went on the platform to be introduced. And called on her afterweards at Lucretia Mott's. Wednesday Spent all with Mrs Kane Thursday Mr Thomas died. My head ached so much this week that I have been good for nothing ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p035.jpg) Mr Thomas' Funeral – The Ravels. After leaving off school I have had such uneventful days that I Thursday have found nothing to write in my diary. Mr Thomas was March 16 buried on Monday. On Wednesday Evening Tom and I went to see the Ravels. We came in during a comedy, not acted by the Ravel troupe which was exactly like the comedies I saw at the little theatre in Chesnut street when I took Cousin M– there. The dresses were better, and the names were different, and the conversation, but there was the same portly hero with a stage "frank voice," the same old gentleman who, being the only respectable character in the play, is badgered accordingly by every one; the same two women, one an old fool, the other, a young compound of innocence, artfulness, simplicity and [--] wickedness — the stage heroine in short. These, with the comic villain, compound the dramatis personae. It was very tedious, but that over the Ravel company began their exhibition with rope-dancing. The two men pleased me. I liked to see their feats, as I like to see any exhibition of strength and agility, but the two female dancers gave me pain. Why will people cry out at women working in a respectable manner, and drive them to such trades as these? I saw a woman dressed in black, standing at the Museum entrance, in the shadow, waiting as I thought, for her husband, but Tom told me she was one of those poor creatures, so utterly lost in the present state of society. When women have more influence will they be more merciful, than they are now, and will they do something for these women to save them. I pray the Lord of the harvest to give me strength to be one of his laborers. Poor woman, I felt so sorry for her. — I think that, much as I enjoyed Mazulm – the pantomime, I ought not to go again, because I felt a little guilty at being there. I did not see anything immoral in it, as I did in the play, and, excluding the Tomb scene I would not object to bringing a chlid of mine to see it. At least I think so now, but perhaps if an immortal soul were committed to my care to lead towards heaven, the mother's heart would teach me differently. Oh how I long to have a child! but yet I can earnestly pray my Father not to grant me that blessing, unless my eyes are opened to discern good and evil, and to guard my darling from the evil — For myself, I felt, that my lamp was ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p036.jpg) My new pistol not trimmed and burning. I am a professed soldier of the King— and what was I doing for his cause? Oh that I were more earnest! — Friday. Yesterday Tom brought me a beautiful pistol home, with my March 17 maiden initials on it EDW. It was given me as a souvenir of this winter's medical studies. And he asked me to give him my daguerreotype in return. So this morning I went off to a place in Chesnut Street and had one taken. My darling was exceedingly delighted with it, and with my having procured it at once. This evening we spent at home. Charlotte and Tom sang together, while I worked. All the time I felt, with a sensation that sometimes gave me a thrill of delight sometimes a cold shudder; as if, on my breast, its head supported by my left arm, and its long white robes flowing down to the ground, lay an infant. I shut my eyes to keep up the delusion, it was so sweet. I told Tom at night, and he asked me if I had not been feeling more and more on that subject, and if nature was not prompting me to take care of my health, that I might have strength to bear a child some day. — Wednesday Dear, how time flies. I haven't had anything to put down of any March 29th consequence, and so everything trivial of the past twelve days has also slipped away, What have I been doing? — Have I put down that I wrote a six-page letter to Elisha? I have written to Papa until I succeeded in gaining his permission to have Nelly here. I was in a bad humour for two days because I could not bear to see poor Tom going out for nine hours hard work in the open air every day during this biting cold weather. I have finished one nightgown for Tom, and began another today. Nanny Dunlap showed me how to do Scotch embroidery for collars and I am going to try to make some. I have been out at Mrs Campbells, the Dunlap's and the Kanes, and I have had some of them to tea, and on Friday have them again. Thursday March 310 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p037.jpg) Judge's birthday— My first anniversary of our wedding Oh, I cannot keep this diary. Here is the 14th of April, and I have not written and have nothing to write now. Agnes has left me, and Helen and Charlotte are staying with me, that's all I can write today. —— April 20 This is Judge and Miss Kane's thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. They dine with us, and with Papa who is arrived already, to take the girls home. Sallie Butler came in to excuse herself from coming to our house tomorrow evening. She paid a long visit, and Papa was charmed with her, thinking her very like Libby Cross. — Our dinner was very messy and pleasant, the conversation chiefly on the Russo- Turkish war. After dinner we went over — after tea – I mean – to the other house where we found Lily Macalester, the "wee bird" of course, and Bob & Becky Patterson. Mrs Kane was giving an account of Djabal (?) her new waiter, and incidentally mentioned his asking her whether Helen was not her grand-daughter, and her having replied — "No Jabal, I am not so fortunate as to have a grand- -child." Every one coloured for me, and looked on the ground. — I asked Bob, Becky, and Helen Patterson to join us tomorrow. We separated quite late, Papa gave me two large books of engravings of scenes in Nassau, and a book of capital caricature pictures of the travels of "Messrs. Brown, Jones, and Robenson." It was so kind of him, dear fellow! Friday Tom woke me this morning with — "Our wedding day April 21 my own wife." And oh, what a happy year I have had! Far the happiest I have ever lived. Papa took Nell out to buy presents for the children at home. My eye had been inflamed, and having a cold too. I was quite knocked up, so after my house- -keeping I lay down to rest till eleven when we went out driving in an open carriage, Papa, Helen, Tom and I. Passing Laurel Hill, we drove along the Wissahickon to Germantown, and thence by Church and Green Lanes to Fern Rock where we wandered about some time, Tom surprising me with the sight of a half-built roadway. The place looked – I cannot describe but I can copy what Charles Dickens wrote of such a place as this may be, years hence, on such an April day as this. "Oh the solemn woods over which the light and shadow traveled swiftly, as if heavenly wings were sweeping on benignant errands through the summer air; the smooth ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p038.jpg) Fern Rock Genealogy green slopes, the glittering water, the garden where the flowers were so symmetrically arranged in clusters of the richest colours, how beautiful they looked! The house, with gable, and chimney, and tower and turret, and dark doorway and broad terrace-walk, turning among the balustrades of which, and lying heaped upon the vases, there was one great flush of roses seemed scarcely real in its light solidity, and in the peaceful hush that rested all around it. It seemed the pervading influence. On every thing house, garden, terrace, green slopes, water, old oaks, fern, moss, woods again, and far away across the openings in the prospect, to the distance lying wide before us with a purple bloom upon it, there seemed such undisturbed repose." Papa was so delighted with it all, and said he wished he could like live by the Wissahickon, and be free from business cares. Coming home we dined over the way. Then Tom & I who were sick and tired came home and took a nap from which we rose refreshed, and ready for our company, but first Tom told Papa of my studentship with which he seemed pleased. Then they talked over genealogical matters which Tom told me to remember, but which I have almost forgotten. Something there was of our descent from the Dennistouns of Dennistoun a small estate in – but at whose largest estate Camis Eskan on the Clyde a portrait hangs in the dining-room of Janet Muir of Rowallan their ancestress mother to the Bruce, whence their motto — "Kings come of us, not we of kings." How there had been a barony in the family until some two hundred years ago, when the last Lord Dennistoun of Dennistoun stabbed a man through who was entering the door of Cardross Kirk before him. How the barony had been taken from them, and how the Dennistoun of my great-grandfather's time instigated there - to by his wife resolved to sell Camis - Eskan. They hcould have paid off the debts on it and kept the place but having no children at the time they preparred selling it and spending the money. How their eldest son therefore was too How they offered it to my great - grandfather James Dennistoun of Golf Hill, who was too p unable to afford to buy it, but offered him £70,000 to go into the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p039.jpg) Helen's bouquet — They go home market with, and how going into the market he disposed of it for £73,000 to Mr Campbell father of a clerk now in our office. How they then spent their money, and lived at Dennistoun. [---] their son stood opposite was an opposing [---] against John Dennistoun and their son was too poor to petition as he wished, for a renewal of their ancient title. Tracing the descent from the Dennistouns of Dennistoun (called by our Dennistouns D'Urbino from the present representative writing a memoir of the Dukes of Urbino) he spoke of "bonny Moll Findlay" of the Moss with whom his grandfather ran off, and of her tall father who could not stand upright beneath the threshold of the Moss, and whose thigh-bone my father found, (at his son's burial) and which was immensely long. — Now came our company, Lizzy, Letitia, Weir, Chapman and Ned Mitchell, Becky, Bob, and Helen Patterson, Harry Wharton, and the Kanes, Nelly received a bouquet which was supposed to be from H.W. but was discovered to have been sent, in his brother Ned's name by Weir. Robert and his sister sang, the children gathered in a group, the rest talked and laughed over the hours between seven and twelve. Lizzie and Tisch both pleased Papa, indeed he afterwards confessed that he had mentally conferred his blessing on Walter & herself as a future young couple—Then we had an oyster supper which every one seemed to enjoy, and after quite an affectionate parting between the girls we separated. Saturday After breakfast Papa, Tot, Helen and I drove off. Tom was April 22 to meet us at the boat, but was detained, so after seeing them off I walked home, saw Tom off on his road to Fern Rock, and then wrote a note to Mrs Wood, Then I was very lonely, the rest of the day Sunday A rainy morning. Read with Tom. Sang in the evening April 23 and missed the girls very very much. Monday Went out on an unsuccessful hunt for lodgings in April 24 the country, with Mrs Kane. In the evening Bob & Becky Patterson came in and stayed a couple of hours, and Becky told me Tom was to speak at some institution or other, the next day, so I made an agreement with her to go to hear him. However, after her departure, I thought it was perhaps not right to conceal it from Tom, and I began hinting ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p040.jpg) Fern Rock that I knew something which I would not tell him. Poor fellow, he mistook me, and was so disappointed, I shall never forget it, poor darling. Tuesday After paying some visits, took an early dinner & drove April 25 out to Fern Rock with Tom. It was intensely hot, and as I was tired and had a long time to wait there with nothing to do, I was thankful to start for home. Afterwards went to an intensely dull wedding. Wednesday Wrote a long letter to Tot, posted it, made visits April 26 and paid bills till dinner-time. After dinner sewed & read till my poor Tom came home so tired! His father came in and read aloud a long and quite interesting speech on Nebraska — After that we had a very pleasant time till we went to bed. Tom singing to me. Thursday Tom and I went out, this beautiful day, together, and April 27 when we reached Fern Rock, and looked at the improvements going on, I collected a heap of warm wrappers I had brought, and made a soft couch in the shallow of a tree-trunk where I lay and read till it was time to go home. I had a delightful time, my boy coming to exchange a word or two whenever he could. Then I came home, dined, read the paper, wrote my diary and am now going to offer my services to help Bess in her preparations for a little party this evening. — Bess did not need me and so I went to lie down. A dreadful squall came up, in which my poor Tom was caught. It continued all Friday and Saturday. Few of the ladies were at Bessie's party, but as all the gentlemen came, it was so much the pleasanter. Friday Tom went down to the office, and was at home the April 28 remainder of the day. In the evening he read Uvedale Price to me, while I sewed. Saturday A repetition of the day before. I finished my second April 29 nightgown for Tom, and commenced my second waist for myself. Sunday The day, at first stormy, showed symptoms of clearing towards April 30 church-time, and so I resolved to go. Tom and I had an argument about the religious education of children, a subject which used to make me very unhappy last summer. Now again, I felt so, and made my boy so. He said "It is well for us that we have no children." He went to get a pew for me, in St James' church, and I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p041.jpg) Talk with Tom. May Party met him on his return. What a comfort it was to see how free and firm his step was, compared to this time last year. He passed us, Bessie was with me, and then I felt unhappy again. When I reached the church I prayed for comfort and guidance, and the beautiful service seemed so much more beautiful. Then came the text. "In all their afflictions He was afflicted — &c." And God did send me comfort. I felt I could trust him. After dinner I watched with the Judge for an hour, he is sick, and then lay down not being well. Tom went to see old Agnes, and I was dressed when he returned. I gave him his tea, and then he went over to the Judge, and I to bed. Bess came over and I read to her till bed-time, and then my darling and I talked over matters, and oh, what a comfort it was to both. Oh how dearly I love him, and how I thank God for the happy year I have passed, and all the love he has bestowed upon me. And may He enable me to fulfil my duty as a wife to my dearest friend. Ah how happy I am, and dear Tom, he is happy too, and so much stronger than last year. — Monday This Monday a year ago I commenced housekeeping. May 1 A very few days and I shall have balanced my books. I must decide for, or against continuing housekeeping – We have certainly spent more than I like, or think right this year, and I don't see my way to more economical proceedings in the next. I have been very busy sorting things, and have yet much to do. I must get some time today for study. — I don't remember what I did till Thursday May 4th. This was the anniversary of the Widow's May Party. Tom and I walked there, feeling very happy and ready to enjoy everything. We were welcomed as kindly as before, and enjoyed ourselves very well. After we returned home we went down town and bought the new number of "Newcomes" and after Tom had given Bess a music lesson read it till bed time. Friday Tom tells me to write down here that he went to each May 6 one of the family, asked them if they desired to sell Fern Rock, warning them that if they did now was the time when land had risen considerably in value. All said no. Then he told them they must make up their minds not to spoil Judge Kane's enjoyment of the plan by ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p042.jpg) Visit the Penitentiary grumbling at the expense of keeping it, or when land might go down in value, wishing it to be sold. To this they all agreed. Tom looked so sick and was so dispirited this morning that I determined to go out with him. So when his dear step toiled wearily up the stairs I ran down to meet him bonneted and shawled, and easily gained his leave. When we reached the toll-gate I found from the enquiries of the people there, what had partly caused his depression. One of the carts had fallen over the bank on a poor man below crushing him, as they at first supposed but it was found to amount only to a breakage of one bone. [Note on side] May 7 We hear he is doing well. Tom had carried him to the Hospital and had borrowed camphor from the people at the toll. I had a delightful morning gathering forget-me-nots, claytonias, violets, anemones, etc, and when I came in town I called upon the Elders. Coming home I found that Mrs Townsend had left a note for me. "Dear Mrs Kane Would thee like to visit the Eastern Penitentiary? I have access to the prisoners. If thee would, meet me at Dr Sharpless's. Arch bel. 13th before three o'clock. Thine aff. Mira Townsend." It was already 1/2 past 2. I bolted my dinner, and hurried to meet her. The omnibus only took us as far as Ridge Avenue, so we had some distance to walk. I felt quite heartsick when I came away. We went into the matron's room at first, which was a cheerful three- cornered one, the window wide open, sunlight streaming in, and the sweet breath of the lilacs penetrating even to the damp galleries beyond. The matron first took us to the cell of the prison baby. I had never been in a prison before, and when the dreadful iron grating was opened, felt somewhat of the reluctance one might feel in entering a wild beast's den. The cell didn't smell nicely either and gave me a headache. The mother came towards us with her eleven weeks old baby. How fond of it she seemed! A stupid, wheezing, unnoticing little creature, yet oh what an infinite comfort in her lonliness! Her term of imprisonment was nearly out, and she had been nearly a year there, yet in speaking of freedom she showed no elation, interrpreting herself to ask us to notice His eyes, His dear little arm. Our next visit was to a cell, spotlessly clean; the walls covered with little pictures, framed in colored papers with tinsel stars at the corners, book- -shelves hanging up, covered with fringed napkins, a little dressing stand, and all the dinner -tins also covered with fringed napkins, and the bedspread embroidered in every direction. A tall young woman with auburn hair and large hazel ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p043.jpg) Mary Welch eyes came toward us from the inner cell. Her face impressed me very favorably. Mrs Townsend took her hand and said "Well Mary you'll be out in less than a year won't you?" Poor woman what a change passed over her face! The tears rolled down her cheeks, and her bowed head, and whole trembling figure seemed to suffer. She could not speak but only made a motion with her hands. The matron explained, she had four years still to remain. Mrs Townsend was sorry, and she and a Miss Davis who had joined us tried to console her, saying it would soon pass, what a nice cell she had, and how glad she would be to see her boy. She seemed inconsolable. She said there was nothing more to do in her cell, and indeed it made me sad to see how painfully in its proper place everything was. They said that soon she, and the other women would be able to take their daily allowance of fresh air. She had not left her cell last summer, the matron said, she didn't seem to have heart enough left. So the ladies desisted, and fell to talking together. I felt very sorry, and tried to comfort her, and just said a little prayer, and it all became clear. I went over and sat down in the far end of the cell with her, and began asking her the subjects of the pictures that decorated her cell, and showing her how in landscape pictures I always fancied what lay beyond, and then I asked her if she could read, and said to her how much time she must have now to think and plan for her boy, to make him a good man. And I said how much better it was in this country than others, because here if a boy's mother would only be a good one to him, and teach him right things while he was young; there were schools here, and he could without doubt grow up to be an educated and good man. I tried not to preach to her but to speak what I felt, for somehow I was fancying how I would feel in her place, and the dear dream-baby that I have in sleep, made my heart full. The poor woman's eyes dried and she told me all about her boy, in Hamilton Village and how he was at the Public School. Then we talked about her work, and she brought me out a patchwork counterpane made in such small patterns that they showed a prisoner's elaboration and I could hardly bear to see it. I invented on the spot several plans for her card baskets with an ease that astonished myself and at her request promised to bring her some silk to make me a work basket or pincushion. When we rose to go away, she touched the skirt of my dress and begged me so humbly, and earnestly to take one of her pincushions that I did so. – Two or three times afterwards in passing her cell the door of which was still open I saw her watching for me, and I left her seeming quite happy. They told us that there was a petition before the governor for her ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p044.jpg) Fern Rock freedom. — The next prisoner was one whose face had more cleverness. Her face cell was clean enough, though untidy, but her voluble protestations of innocence, restless eyes, and bad expression made me feel no sympathy at all for her. I wonder how it was, that the other [--]on so upon me. Though convicted of a cruel crime (throwing vitriol in the face of a man who had deserted and slandered her friend) I seemed to forget it, and just to be interested in her, while the other one who only picked pockets and was in for a much shorter time was very repulsive to me. It wasn't that she was a mother for the other was so too. It wasn't her ingenuity for the thief was much more ingenious. I must ask Tom. I arrived at home just as Tom did, for I had seen him driving behind for a long way. He passed us, and then I got out and ran after him. He was much pleased at my having seen the Penitentiary for which I paid with a severe headache. Saturday Wrote a long letter to Cousin Margaret, added accounts, visited April 6 Julia Powel, Sallie Butler and Cousin Mary Gray, and sewed till Tom came home. This was his last day at Fern Rock and we were so happy. Sunday Went to church, and had a sweet Sunday. The Judge over April 7 persuaded Tom to go out on Monday. Mrs Judge and Bess Kane went to church in the evening, and Tom was singing to me alone, when Pat came in, in very low spirits. It comforted him to have us, and he made an arrangement to go with Tom to Fern Rock tomorrow. Monday After Tom went. I went to market & to get a bottle filled with camphor April 8 for him to take out to the toll gate people, and it struck me that I would go too to F.R. So I intend to start in an hour G.W. — Well, I dined, hastened off to the cars, where I met Pat and Johnnie Green and we arrived at Dewey's Lane where we found no carriage waiting. It was a beautiful day. A very refreshing breeze was blowing, so we resolved to walk, and had proceeded about half a mile when Tom met us in the carriage. We wandered about the place. Johnnie and I planting periwinkles around the stumps, and scampering about after Tom, Pat lying lazily on the rocks, smoking. I had provided an apology for a dinner for Pat and Tom, and with the unexpected addition to our party it was a but a sorry one. However a bottle of champagne "cooled within the gleaming wave" made up for all deficiencies; I sat sewing while they ate. Poor Tom was dreadfully agueish, and when we returned he had to lay his poor aching head on my breast. Pat drove us in, and we then had a nice tea waiting for us. The Judge came in as usual when we were half through and made my poor ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p045.jpg) 40 Tom finishes his work at Fern Rock sick Tom talk himself quite hoarse. Tuesday The first day that I have had with my poor boy, except two very Apr May 9 sick ones, for months. He was so unwell today that he could not go with me as he had intended, to a party at Mrs McKean's. I walked down to the office with him, and then went to the Library to get a book out, which was refused, as they said we had three out (Pat had them I found) and I went away with my face in a flame. I was very tired by the time I got home. I then went out and sewed till I nearly fell asleep, and then I copied one of the diagrams in my Physiology. Tom came home and hurried his dressing, as he had a made at the Judge's request a mem- -orandum of what things were to be done out at Fern Rock. The Judge was at dinner and refused to listen to Tom, assigning that as his reason, and supposing that Tom had brought over the account of his work at FR. He never remembered how my boy had gone without his dinner for two months and more for him, and forgot how he never lets him take his tea in comfort when he does get home. Tom was very much hurt, and quite dispirited. The rest of the family went out there, we took our nap, went to see Cousin Mary Gray who is sick, came home and took our tea. Bess came home with a glowing account of her father's delight and he came over and seemed pleased too. Poor Tom forgot his feelings and the Judge stayed and stayed till half past ten, and would have stayed longer if I hadn't given him a pretty broad hint that I wanted to go to bed. Tom had brought the last Newcome and Uvedale Price, and we had expected to be able to have a pleasant evening to ourselves, but I was quite pleased to give it up so as to let Tom have the satisfaction of hearing his work praised. Wednesday Tom and I took a little walk between prayers and breakfast, and then May 10 he, though I begged he would not, ran over to see his father. His face was clouded when he came back though he said nothing was wrong, but I found out his father had told him that he had just made work, and had commenced things which it would cost a thousand or fifteen hundred dollasrs to finish. I told Tom he must excuse his father because he was neuralgic and cross, but I do think the family are the most ungrateful creatures! I used to be afraid that my dear people would stand an unfavorably comparison with these, but indeed they have come out well. They are as grateful as can be, for the least things and certainly don't take exceptions at what is done for them. I am going to write to Tot now. Well, the Judge came over in the evening, and he abused all poor Tom's work, and Tom in defending himself criticised his; till the Judge went away quite angry. Then Tom was sorry and ran over to apologize but after an hour and a half absence returned, having failed ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p046.jpg) Musical Fund Concert — My birthday in making up. In the morning he went over again and partly succeeded. The fact was, that the Judge wanted Tom to go there and superintend and was disappointed in not succeeding. Thursday Yesterday letters came from Tot and Walter, in one of which it was May 11 mentioned that my dear Nell's cough was worse, and the doctor said "It must be attended to immediately." So I wrote to beg Walter to bring her on next Thursday. Then I sewed, finishing my collar, then drew some diagrams, called on Lucretia Mott, Mrs McKean, and Hamlet's aunt Mrs Bohlen. Tom came home with a stiffened knee (he hurt it at Fern Rock) having made it worse by walking and saving his omnibus money so as to present me with some oranges. His father came home in a sweet good humor having bought tickets for us to for the Musical Fund Concert. Poor Pat too brought over some books which he left with me, and whether he intended them as a present to me or no, neither Tom nor I could tell. At any rate his intention was kind. Wherefore, I feel ashamed of what I wrote under date May 10. but leave it written, as I shall feel more ashamed still some future time, so I always do when I behave badly. We went to the concert, and to Parkinson's afterward. The thought struck me that I would copy and my letters and Tom's during our engagement as a coll connecting link between "Mary Dennistoun" and this. Friday My eighteenth birthday. What changes since my last, and oh how thankful May 12 I should be for the happiness I have had. I have improved in strength, in loving, and I have learned many things I hope. May God watch over this year! Keep me loving Christ above all, and my neighbour as myself. God bless dear Tom and make me a faithful wife to him, making me love his family and mine, and may He draw all our hearts together. If either of us die within the year oh grant that we may be re-united soon in Heaven. I pray the Redeemer to save us! Amen! — I had just dressed for dinner when I heard that Mrs Leiper was down stairs (Aunt Mary) She brought me "Cummings on the Apocalypse" as a birthday present. Tom gave me the beautiful gold pen and pencil case with which I am now writing, dear Papa and Tot sent two delightful letters, and Papa's said he had subscribed for "Blackwood and the Four Reviews" for me; while Tot enclosed a handsome ribbon. We dined John and Pat quite gleefully, and Tom had ordered a wagon for a drive. We took Bess and the Judge as far as Branchtown, and then we went up the York Road across the township line dividing Philadelphia and Montgomery Counties, and home by Germantown. We had a delightful drive. In the evening I finished reading "Evangeline" to Bess. This was the happiest birthday I ever spent. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p047.jpg) Pleasant Sunday — Household employments May 13th I tidied our rooms, brought my summer set of books upstairs, 1854 and hearing that there were flowers in market, bought and arranged some in our rooms, lilacs in mine, lilies of the valley in Tom's. He tried to get them for me yesterday in vain, dear fellow. Tom was delighted with them. He didn't feel well poor boy. We called on Lizzie Mitchell in the evening, and gave her Elisha's book, with which she was delighted. Also on Mrs Constable, at whose house we had a most amusing conversation; and on Cousin Mary Gray. Then we took an ice at Burns' and so home. May 14th It rained all the morning so I stayed at home with Tom Sunday and we had a very pleasant time. We read Barnes' Notes on Job, where he speaks of the characteristics of Hebrew Poetry, and one of Arnolds' Rugby School Sermons on the text "And a man's foes shall be they of his own household," Tom sang to me "Therefore with angels and archangels," and "Glorious things of thee are spoken," etc. Then we talked over our prospects, and tried to determine whether we ought to continue housekeeping or no. May 15 Went to the school with Bess. After my return Johnnie Monday talked with me till just before Tom came home, so that I had no time to study. Poor Tom had a dreadful headache, and so he had to lie down nearly all the rest of the day. May 16 Poor Tom had such a restless night that I persuaded Tuesday him to lie in bed till prayers-time. After breakfast put down accounts, wrote diary. and a very long letter to Maggie Jones. Then I dressed myself and sat down to study. Aunt Alida came in, and Tom just after her. He lay down till near dinner time while I sat and studied beside him. Dined over the way as it was the Judge's birthday and had a very pleasant time. After dinner Tom lay down again and I sat by him while he slept. After tea he went up to write and I over the way to offer my services in a reading capacity to Bess. She was out so I read to her mother. Tom read my letter and liked it. May 17 A dull drizzling day. Read to Tom till he went to the office, Wednesday trained some shoots of ivy up the window, re-arranged my flowers, wrote diary and accounts, put both rooms in order, mended my stockings, tacked a new collar on my embroidery oiled cloth, and sewed at my jacket. Then I took my bath and dressed, and sat down to my Physiology which I read for a quarter of an hour and then, falling asleep must have slept a whole hour. Then I went down and dressed the salad, during which time Tom came in. No letters! While Tom was taking the bath the Judge came up to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p048.jpg) The Montmorencis his room and asked me to go out to Fern Rock, as the sun was shining. I would have refused for I hated to go, but Tom had told me that the Judge had already asked him and he had refused. So to prevent his asking Tom again, I went. The Judge was in a delightful talking humour, and told me the following story. "During the French Revolution some members of the ancient family of Montmorenci fled to Guadaloupe, where they prospered and grew very rich. In the earthquake, several years ago, the greater part of their estates were destroyed, and they emigrated to Baltimore. They were three brothers, two of whom had large families; one of them dying, the others adopted his children, and placed them under the care of the Arch-bishop of New Orleans. All the children were sent to the most expensive schools, and the parents, though retrenching their expenses and believing themselves very economical, lived at a rate far beyond their means. Their small income came from the remaining portion of their Guadaloupe estate, and becoming embarrassed in circumstances, and there being some delay in their remittances they forged the name of their factor. They still retained a character for the highest integrity, and when the money arrived paid up every cent which they could reach. Unfortunately, a bill for $800 remained in the hands of a bank which considered it a duty to prosecute. The elder brother was arrested under a false name, and imprisoned in the Moyamensing Prison. A man used to visit him frequently, with a false beard and moustache. He was arrested and discovered to be the other brother. Their attorney wrote told them to confide in the Judge, and the wife wrote many touching letters to him and with the children came to his house and threw herself on her knees before him. The brothers said, it was not the punishment they feared, but the stain on the name, and on the children's fortunes. They begged the Judge to allow the elder brother 48 hours absence, on his honour as a gentleman he would then return. Meanwhile he would go to Baltimore, appear on "Charge say that business took him to Paris, and that his wife and children would follow in the autumn. Then his imprisonment could be borne. — No, the Judge could not allow that, but he gave orders that no one should be admitted to their cells. Choosing a Saturday at half past one when the Court Room was quite empty he had them driven up in a close carriage, arraigned and sentenced to nine months imprisonment ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p049.jpg) Household employments which ended in four days. Their passage had been taken, and in a week they were on the sea bound to France." When we reached Fern Rock it was rather difficult to feel rightly. However I did succeed. Coming home I found dear Tom had tea ready for me He had been out and bought cake himself. After tea he sang to me awhile, and then he wrote and I studied till bed-time. Thursday Tidied my room, mended my frock, put down accounts May 18 wrote diary, bathed, studied, read the paper, dined, slept, had a delightful walk over Fairmount with Tom. (I forgot to put down, went to Mme Motte's and Baileys, read aloud to Mrs Kane, and went to bed. Friday Put down accounts, tidied room, wrote diary, went to the school with May 19 Bess, and had a pleasant walk and a pleasant visit, bathed, read the paper dined, slept, studied, took tea, read aloud to Mrs Kane and studied till bed-time. Saturday Tom had such a headache that he lay in bed till half past seven. I May 20 read prayers, went to market and bought some flowers to decorate the mantel-piece, and some radishes for his breakfast. After breakfast read him Elia's essay on Old China, put down accounts, wrote to Tot, called on Cousin M Gray, paid Souder, Burns, Englebert, Gillingham and Bottner, all my outstanding debts in fact, took a bath, and sewed till Tom came home bringing me the news that Mr Hamilton had come to him in need of money, and that to earn his five dollars he was to make a sketch of Whitby Hall. We drove him there and when his sketch was finished, came back for him taking a most exquisite drive in the meanwhile Sunday As it poured in the morning I stayed at home. Tom and I read a May 21. chapters (the VIII of St John) the Keble for the day, one of Arnold's Sermons and some of Barnes notes on Job. In the afternoon got into a scrape, took tea over the way, talked and sang hymns till bed-time. — Thirteen months married. Monday Walked to the school with Bess and began giving the children May 22 gymnastic exercises till they grew too delighted to be continued. Copied one of Mrs Whitman's poems for Bess. Dined washed the Judge's chain, and took a quiet refreshing sleep. After tea went to the academy where we spent three hours Hamilton's pictures by far the best. Tuesday Wrote a letter to Papa describing the Exhibition. Spent the May 23 day delightfully at Whitby talking to old Mrs Thomas. Whitby sees its hundredth summer this June. Mrs Kane was with us. How delightful it is to see the attach- -ment of that family, one for another. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p050.jpg) Long walk — Odd thankfulness Wednesday Recopie Copied my letter to Papa as it was dreadfully written, put May 24 down accounts, wrote diary, read Physiology aloud to Bess, in which occupation Johnny very nearly caught us. At twelve dressed and called on Cousin Mary Gray. I found a young Miss Grubb there, evidently spending the day, and finding it supremely dull. Then I called on the Pattersons, Louisa Helen and Becky. They were all talking about the children there which set me dreaming as usual. After dinner Tom and I set off to go to Parry and Randolph's and missing the right omnibus had a long but not unpleasant walk. After tea, to which Bess contributed a saucer of the first strawberries of the season. Tom began reading in this book about my visit to the Penitentiary. May 6. Then Mrs Kane Bess and the Judge came in and talked till bed-time. I was very dull thinking of last July and so was dear Tom. Thursday Looked all through the Flora for the name of a May 25. flower, darned, mended built dismal castles in the air, wrote diary, and went over to sit with Mrs Kane and sew till dinner-time. Chancing to yawn frequently, I apologised by telling her I was short-winded. "Don't you feel well?" "Oh perfectly." "Are you in the family-way?" No. "You haven't been at all since last summer?" No. "Are you ever going to be?" I don't know. "Well I suppose it is best for you, as you're so weak, and it's the Lord's will. You ought to be thankful, at least this summer." This amusing piece of gratitude, I could not help repeating to Tom who was delighted with it. After my nap, Tom was resolved to be good & write, so I told him I would be good and sew downstairs, which I did to tease him. Judge Kane carried me off to tea over there, and he and Mrs Kane were exceedingly pleasant and affectionate. Sewed all the evening. I wish they and dear Tom woulnd't flatter me as they do. Little as I feel that I deserve it, I am sensible that it renders me conceited. I am afraid the only way to cure me will be to catch myself doing something exceedingly foolish. Friday Today comes an eclipse at 1/4 past four. May 26 Took a walk with Tom before breakfast. Afterwards went down to the school, sewed, wrote diary, put rooms in order for the Judge and a Mr Van Rensselaer who are coming here to stay. Read phsiology to Bess Tom and I have determined in our own minds, that we ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p051.jpg) 45 Castle in the air — Mrs Schuyler cannot afford to live in Girard Street very well. Our plan is, to remain here till next summer when the North Pennsylvania Rail Road will be in operation, we hope. And then, we hope (there is a great deal left to "we hope") that perhaps Mr Churchman will build some cottages likely to suit us, or Edward Davis up on Chelten Hill, or some high up place. Just a little cottage with a very little ground about it. I fancy, but I fear that wouldn't come within our means. On the first floor, a servant's [diagram of described house, with rooms labeled] room, kitchen, shed, dining room, and a drawing room, and four rooms upstairs, and a piazza on two sides of the house. That is not so likely as my other plan which has merely one small parlor, a dining room and kitchen below two rooms on the second floor and two garretish rooms. But I must have a piazza and part of my small grounds laid out in a grass plot and just enough room for flowers that I and, my children perhaps, may tend. If there are no trees we can plant a few, and it will be so much healthier than living in town. I want to see Wilson's house on Russel Smith's place Rock Farm. I wonder if it is not the size for us. I had a long and delightful letter from Papa today. Slept through the eclipse, and feeling very refreshed went over and spent a pleasant enough evening with the Judge. Frid Was up early. Went down to the school with Tom, but Saturday found none of the children there. I asked Tom if he May 27 had not noticed that I was growing conceited, and he said yes. Read Phsiology to Bess, put down accounts, wrote diary, got cake for Mrs Kane, and went over to welcome Mrs Schuyler, the Judge's aunt, and her daughter Angelica. We took tea there. Sunday Tom and I read a capital sermon of Arnold's on "Be ye not May 28 unwise but understanding what the will of the Lord is." And at church Dr. Norton gave a very interesting explanation of "It is expedient for you that I go away." I took old Mrs I. with me. She told me about some nephew of her who came home to die with her, the fifth of his family who fell a victim to the climate of N. Orleans. In church she saw an old lady, aunt to Harry Wharton whose mother Miss Governeur was the most intimate friend of the Judge's mother at. In the evening she talked about Aunt Morris, and said that when she was a reigning beauty she used to take Mrs I. then a girl of 14 to assemblies with her. They used to wear their hair powdered with pink powder. I tried to make her talk of the Judge's mother in ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p052.jpg) Castles in the air — destroyed vain. Of my grandmother Mrs John Kane, she spoke, as a very beautiful delicate languishing beauty. (She became a notable woman, her children disliked her, and Emily ran away, at the age of fourteen with Mr Lawrence, John and Oliver were completely ruined. Of them all my mother was the only one who possessed real worth.) Poor Tom was sick and went to bed early, and I sat awhile with him before I went to bed. Monday Read to Bess, talked to Mrs S. wrote diary, studied Physiology May 29 and picked strawberries for Bess, while I repeated to her the substance of what I had been reading. Yesterday evening and today I have had a very bad headache. Dined over the way, and escorted Mrs and Miss Schuyler to the Jersey City train. Walked about in Camden, had a pleasant sail across the Delaware, and a pleasant drive home with my boy. We were quietly at tea, when Mrs Kane peeped in and we made her take a cup with us. Then Tom went over and gave Bess a singing lesson, while I talked Fugitive Slave Law with the poor Judge whom the papers attack asa second Jeffries. Tuesday Read to Bess, walked down to Chesnut below Eighth to shop, May 30 wrote diary, and to Tot. Tom, poor fellow begins to build castles-in-the-air. I confess I built them too. And in the after- -noon came in the GW. Oh how happy we were! In the evening while I read to Bessie the letters danced before me. In the middle of the night I was quite ill but I lay as still as I could not wishing to wake my poor poor boy. At last it turned out that he was lying awake too, so he petted me, and put me to sleep. Wednesday As I did not feel at all well, Tom made me lie a bed, where I May 31 balanced my books for the month, wrote diary, and wrote to Tot. I hope I shall be able to cheer my poor boy, and remember that I prayed. "Thy will be done." I know it is all for the best. Dear Tom brought me home a volume of Littell's Living Age to amuse myself with. I got up, and dressed for dinner feeling as if I had been sick a fortnight, and after dinner lay down and read while Tom slept. We took tea quietly, and spent the evening discussing the chances of a war with Cuba. He was trying to make me believe the war was a justifiable one, and only succeeded in showing me, that by shutting one's eyes steadfastly to the evident object of the Americans; in this as (I think) in everything else, their own interest; honorable men like my darling may believe it to be justifiable. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p053.jpg) Mr. Greig Fox's bouquet Thursday Mrs. Kane came home from Aunt Anne's. I was to have gone June 1 with Tom to call on the Greig's (some people from Canandaigua) but we agreed it would be better for me to go with her. So having dressed, I waited nearly an hour, until she found out that she couldn't go. So I tarted upstairs, and put away my things, only to be sent for again. Mrs Kane wanted me to go by myself & leave a message immediately. So I made my third journey up and downstairs, and walked down Chesnut Street in a pretty bad humor. I scolded myself out of it by the time I reached the Girard House, where I found only the old gentleman, the ladies not having arrived. Walking home I found Mrs Kane was at the Asylum and after resting a few minutes, I started off in an omnibus, and went there. Coming home I got into the right omnibus, but being in a brown study never noticed it till I found myself near Fairmount. Getting out I lost myself completely and had a tedious walk home. I had to spend the evening next door so I was pretty tired when I reached home. bed. Friday We, Mrs Kane, Johnny Green, and Bessies started off early for June 2 their new cottage. Johnnie and I drove alternately. I was delighted with it. Fancy the house of the Miller's Daughter, and you have it. If it is quite healthy it would suit me capitally for winter and summer both. Dined next door. Mr William Leiper drunk persisted in saying tactless things which spoiled all pleasure. Read "Newcomes" aloud in the evening, and I forgot to say called on Mrs Bigler when I returned from the country. Saturday Put down accounts. Wrote diary, wrote to Tot, mended shirts, and June 3 read the papers. My head aching a good deal I lay on the sofa all the evening, and my boy read Mr Seward's speech on the Nebraska Bill. Sunday Fox, Mrs Kane's late waiter called early this morning, and June 4 left a beautiful bunch of flowers for me. Dr Morton's sermon was as good as usual. He took the miraculous gift of tongues; the day being Whitsunday, as his subject, and said how the Spirit came to us in these days. I walked a little with dear Tom in Centre Square in the evening, and then we peeped at my ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p054.jpg) Vivisection diary of this day last year, but we soon shut the book. It made us sad for I wrote about the feelings I had then, about the dear baby that never came. Indeed I know it is all for the best, but I am foolish about it sometimes. — My boy had to go out, and in looking over some papers I took out together, two daguerreotypes, mine, taken for Tom the other day; and a daguerreotype of miniature of Mamma taken when she was nineteen, a year older than I am. Oh how different, and what a falling off in the daughter! Mamma's face sparkling with kindly humor, and with such a refined set of features looking light from their harmonising so well. Mine heavy, out of proportion, and with no play of expression. The large mouth and nose and projecting jaws entirely banishing the little light gray eyes. Ugh how ugly I am! I hope my children will look like her and not like me. Monday June 5. Heigho! We have overdrawn our balance at the bank, and I find my poor boy has been worrying and never told me. He has to go on to Washington on Wednesday to try to obtain the money due to him there. Poor fellow! I wish I could earn money for him but alas I only spend it, spend, spend, spend. I walked down a few squares with Tom this morning, and then went to do some necessary shopping. I ordered my dress and boots at cheap places, and I resolved to do without another dress and without a stool in my pew — until these calamities be overpast. — I am studying an intensely interesting part of the Physiology, though it is exceedingly hard to understand – the Encephalon consisting of the Medulla Oblongata, Pons Varolii or Mess Cephalon, Cerebrum, and Cerebellum. I have been hard at work with my cerebrum(?) for two hours, and hate to leave it, but I must express a feeling, I often have. Is it possible, I feel myself thinking, that these experiments on living animals are justifiable in the sight of the Creator? Can any knowledge, gained though it may be for useful purposes, be rightly stained by the torture of innocent creatures neither themselves nor their species having any benefit from such knowledge? And even supposing that future hares' or rabbits' diseases could be or would be, cured by the skill resulting from infomation derived from experiments such as the following, are doctors justified in torturing the present rabbits for the general benefit of living creatures. To me it seems like the annexation of Cuba. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p055.jpg) Vivisection Now let me copy this passage, by no means so revolting as many I have read in the few pages I have studied in the book. It is on the Physiology of the Cerebellum. "Flourens, whose experiments have been abundantly confirmed by those of Bouillaud, Longet, and others, extirpated the cerebellum in birds by successive layers. Feebleness and want of harmony of the movements were the consequence of removing the super- -ficial layers. When he reached the middle layers, the birds became restless without being convulsed; their movements were violent and irregular, but their sight and hearing were perfect. By the time that the last portion of the organ was cut away, the animals had entirely lost the powers of springing, flying, walking, standing, and preserving their equilibrium. When an animal in this state was laid upon its back, it could not recover its former posture; but it fluttered its wings, and did not lie in a state of stupor; it saw the blow which threatened it, and endeavored to avoid it. Volition, sensation, and memory, therefore, were not lost, but merely the faculty of combining the actions of the muscles; and the endeavors of the animal to maintain its balance were like those of the drunken man. — The experiments afforded the same results when repeated on all classes of animals, and "— Messieurs Flourens, Bouillaud, Longet and others, that suffices I thank you. And here we have "Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to animals," "Humane Societies," outcries at the barbarities of slaveholders, omnibus-drivers, murderers who kill at a blow etc, and yet the Professors of Vivisection walk untouched and the results of their experiments, are printed, and I read them. Yes I, who shrink from the pages of a bad novel lest it should harm my moral tone, read Ithank God, not without a shudder as yet. Fancy my pretty canary, or the night-hawk whose circling flight Tom and I watch for at night, laid on its back. "It could not," says the writer "recover its posture; but it fluttered its wings, and did not lie in a state of stupor; it saw the blow which threatened it and endeavored to avoid it." What a bright idea M. Flourens! To pretend to strike it, that you might have sure proof that the "removal of the cerebellum in successive layers" had not ended the helpless victim's agony, and that "vision, sense, and memory were not lost." See the playfulness of that last allusion to the efforts of a drunken man to preserve his balance. And Sterne wrote over a dead donkey! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p056.jpg) Tom goes to Washington I studied for three hours, and then read Uvedale Price on the Picturesque till five o'clock, when Tom not making his appearance, I dined. Then I went upstairs and dressed nicely to welcome him, and gave him a good tea when he did come. So tired poor weary pet, but he had earned money enough to set all right in bank and repay his journey to Washington. The Judge took tea with us, and talked of Fern Rock all the evening. Tuesday Tom went away early, and I became very lonely for he is not June 6 to return till eleven o'clock this evening so I set to work upstairs [-]ipped dresses etc, wrote to Tot, wrote diary, studied, and read Littell's Living age. Then I wrote a note to my boy, just telling him how I loved him, to read when he went away. And then I put out clothes ready for him to pack, mended some shirts and stockings for him and dressed for the evening — a very dull one, spent at Mrs Mitchell's I persuaded my boy not to go till Thursday. Wednesday A happy day, for my boy was with me from two June 7 o'clock. I was very busy till then making my first essay in preserving. Thursday My darling left me early this morning. Well for me the June 8 carpenter who had been at work about the school was there and I had to conquer my feelings and not cry. I turned to work immediately, put away my preserves, drawing a crest as much like Tom's as I could, on the shield-shaped labels I put on the bottles. Then I read then I went to the dressmakers', then to Mrs Mitchell's then to a woman whom I hired to do some more preserves for me, then read till dinner. Put down accounts, wrote diary, and after dinner read the papers, bathed and dressed in my new blue dress, wishing that the one whose dear eyes I cared to please, were with me. Bess had Lizzie, Letitia, Miss Jeffries, another Miss Mitchell, her brother, Weir, and H Wharton. For my own darling's sake I exerted myself to talk, and had a very pleasant evening. Before I went to meet the young ladies I went and had a long talk with the Judge, and was astonished to find my eyes suddenly filled with tears, and my voice trembling, just because I had some little qu thing to say about Tom. God bless him! I slept with Bess. Friday June 9 This day week I must remember to go to Gardette's. I would go twice as often to Parmley's in preference. Went to the dressmaker, then with Bess to the school where I worked till I was hoarse. I made twelve boys go through various exercises, swinging and clapping the arms hands and legs in unison, changing from one foot to another in jumping, made them while resting from exercising their arms use fold them like miniature Napoleons, chalked footrests and taking them two by two made or tried to make them ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p057.jpg) Drilling the school-children keep step, I told them that I was their captain, and showed them how to salute me, and that they were my soldiers. Then I tried to make them face, wheel etc, but I must make out a regular order of exercises. Remembering what my precious dear darling told me, I tried to make them feel their exercises to be as manly as possible, and the girls as womanly. I took six girls, and where I made the boys fold this arms, I made them hold their skirts, and told them that I learned these exercises when I was learning to dance. The girls I made swing their arms, clap hands, jump, changing feet, sway from one leg to another, ksip behind me, and make the slide exercise of a curtesy. I must remember to write out an order of exercises. Then returning, Bess stopped at Vogel's and I bought a handsome but expensive set of lace for the sake of pleasing my boy when he should return. And what was my reward? Oh so unexpected, so delightful a letter from Baltimore where he deserted the dinner table to write to me, and a despatch from Washington saying he hoped to be home Saturday night. My darling! It is beginning to cloud over, and though I promised his mother to go to Fisher's Lane with her, I don't think we shall go. Well we went, and I had quite a pleasant time. Of course I did not think at all of my sweet boy. After tea I read aloud the Newcomes to Bessie till bed time when I received another darling letter from my boy. Saturday Here have I been wasting money, and a note comes from poor June 10 Tom, saying that he cannot get paid – the treasury is out of funds. I made up the lace sleeves I bought, and was at the school, and wrote to Tot, from whom I had a letter. In the evening read Newcomes to Bess and Littell's Living Age to myself. I was very lonely, missing my darling boy, especially as his dispirited note told me he could not return before Monday. Sunday This morning while Bess and I were dressing, some one knocked at June 11 the door, and Bess asked me to open it. I was still more undressed than she, but did as I was bid, and — who should it be but my darling. To be sure I hurried to finish my my dressing, and meet him downstairs. He walked to church with me, and we had a delightful, happy day, Tot asks me in her letter, if I keep my motives for doing right–pure? Ah how impure they are I hardly think whether God wishes a thing, only Tom. God help me to do right. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p058.jpg) Poor Dr Patterson Monday I went down to the school with Bess, and we drilled twenty-four June 12 children, in four sets. This keps us till dismissing-time, and we reached home at 12. I wrote, and read till Tom came home, and after my after-dinner nap went with Bess to the dressmaker's, Cousin Mary Gray's and the Pattersons, where poor Doctor Patterson has been lying, a senseless breathing mass for two weeks. I sat in the dining-room whose walls were covered with pictures two of which represented hale old men, the rest in the full possession of youth and strength. And how sad it was to think how they had lived their lives and departed, or were still struggling along, childless or widowed, and broken hearted, to their life's end. There hung Dr Patterson's father and mother, and his wife's. His picture as a young man, hers as child and woman, her beautiful sisters Jane and Ann, her daughter Elizabeth, and her beautiful Emma. Emma and Elizabeth died broken-hearted. Ann has just lost her selfishly devoted, and beloved husband, Jane is worn with trouble and sorrow, but yet the happiest of all, and Helen the last sister watches the death bed of the poor idiotic husband who was the charming and intellectual companion, Dr Patterson. Tuesday Went down to the school with Bess, drilled twenty seven children June 13 making seventy five already. I don't mean that they can all exercise well, but they have some idea of it. Reached home just in time to avoid a violent thunder shower. Wrote diary and studied till dinner time. As Mary Leiper was over the way I spent the evening there. Tom was at a meeting, for the purpose of taking leave of his old Free Soil friends who are going over to the Whigs. He did not return until I was nearly asleep. Wendesday With my usual tact, I having been worried about monetary affairs, made June 14 up a list of things requiring to be paid before we went away this summer, amounting to $2100,00. And I showed it to poor Tom who has gone down town with trouble on his mind. God forgive me, when I ought only to comfort my poor boy. I will pray Him to show me how to get out of debt, and then I know He will help us. I did not go down to the school to-day, spending the entire morning in altering a dress, and darming. Tom and I walked up to Burns' and eat ices in the evening Thursday Bess and I drilled thirty six today. They were very good children June 15 and amazingly bright. Coming out of the school quite a crowd of them rushed to kiss our hands. As we went home we stopped to speak to a very old negress who sits in the sun all day taking charge of a little great-grand-daughter. She is nearly a hundred years old, and was formerly a slave of the Carmichaels from the Eastern Shore of Maryland. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p059.jpg) I went with the Judge and Mrs Kane out to Fisher's Lane in the two o'clock train, and went up to the depot to meet the next from town in which Tom came. He was delighted with the place and we had a pleasant stroll in the woods together. As I my headached I went to bed soon Friday This is the second day of the hot weather, and I don't find it June 16 pleasanter than it used to be. Went to Gardette's but he put me off till Tuesday, so Bess and I went to the school, drilling twenty-four children. This would make 135 if it were not that we have had some of them twice over. The ones who come a second time are wonderfully expert, which is partly accounted for by their repeating the exercises by themselves as a play, in recreation- -time. I was very much pleased by a girl who came down for the first time. She happened to be the last on a line and after watching the others, said very modestly that she thought she could do as the others had done without having her hand held, as I do with beginners. She really succeeded very well. The children are exceedingly anxious to go down, and every one of the naughty ones but one, has contrived to be down once at least. This one looks always exceedingly mortified though his mortification leads to no results. Perhaps it will be interesting to me some day to remember how we drilled the children, so I will write it down as well as I can, [diagram of a floor, with numbers matching up with the following description] These are chalked lines in the centre of the floor. Bess stands at (1) facing her children ranged at (2). I at (3) facing mine at (4) We make girls hold ther skirts, boys fold their arms as we find it keeps them from fighting. On entering, the boys touch their foreheads, and the girls courtesy. Then follows— "Show your right foot, – swing it – forward back — forward back" – ten times. Left do. "Raise your right arm, drop it, one two" ten times; left do. "Wheel your right arm one –" ten times; left do. "Jump at once, when I count, not before I count, only when I count, and no more"– ten times. I do all this with them. Placing myself at their head I make them march round the room following the dotted line, and ranging themselves at (5.) Then I take number one and placing her at (6) make her step on the marked spaces (7) with the right and left feet alternately. At (8) she stops and stamps as though marching, ten times, faces round and recommences.. She does the same at (6) and again at (8) ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p060.jpg) and then takes her position at (9) This I do with each in turn, walking with them and counting time for them. Then they do it in twos, and then the whole six. Then placing myself at their head we march up the spaces (10) stopping to stamp ten times at (11). Coming back to the marked space (7) they stamp then times at each step. and then march upstairs. As my last set had been nearly all drilled on previous days, and as it fatigues my throat very much to count for them, I made them do it by clapping my hands, and found they succeeded admirably; certainly much better than I should have done at their age. — Read till dinner time, slept, and wrote diary all the evening. Saturday Read all the morning. In the evening Tom and I went to see June 17 if Lizzie Mitchell was at home, to bid her goodbye. She was not, so we resolved to call on Dr Elder who had not been to see us for some weeks. We missed the omnibus and so had to walk up, but we determined to ride home. I had been reading about the nose, and the eye, and being very much interested in the topic subject we talked about it nearly all the time. I don't know whether I have mentioned before, how constantly, in reading Physiology, I am im- -pressed with the feeling that we are merely describing the appearance of a machine, the principles of whose construciton and use we cannot understand. I find myself always asking, as children do about a watch – "What makes it go?" It impresses me with a great degree of awe, and of confidence in the Power in whose hands we are – by whom we are, and were created. How constantly too, becoming deeply interested in some wonderful portion of our being, am I disappointed by finding — No thoroughfare — inscribed on some barrier to human research! But even with this drawback how grandly the human mind displays itself. So much discovered! No novel ever was so interesting as this book is. — We found only Mrs Elder at home, who rushed with girlish enthusiasm, into the doctrines of Malthus. The room smelled a good deal of Burlington herring, and we came away soon. Only to find the omnibus crammed, and a weary walk before us. Tom called on Dr Morton in the morning with whom he was very much pleased. He talked a great deal of Mamma. I believe he loved her in his youth. Papa writes that after a fourteen months interlude, poor Will has had another fit brought on by over-study. I am very unhappy about him. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p061.jpg) 55 Sunday This being Communion Sunday I walked to the Presbyterian June 19 Church with Bess, Tom accompanying us as far as that queer old house, cor 8th and Lane streets, where a comparatively modern sign representing a lion with the date 1817. I had much to pray for today, that God would keep my motives for doing my duty pure, and not let me do right only to please Tom, and that he would show me what was to be done for dear Willie, and all of them at home, and how we were to get out of debt, and that he would bless our summer-journey, and let us gain strength for the winter from it. And that I might love the people here, and that Tom's love for me, and mine for him, might grow stronger and purer every day; that He would watch over all our actions, and keep us safely in this life, and at the end save us for Christ, our Redeemer's sake. And that unless we might make Christians ofer of them, He would grant us no children. In the evening they sang as usual, for the last time. Tomorrow they go into the country. Monday I am afraid our schemes of economy must go by the board June 20 for a time as I have to prepare meals for those wandering stars the boys, who will not be on hand to eat them half the time. Miss Betsy Snyder came to work for me this morning. I sent for herrings of which I knew she was fond. Tom wanted more, sent for eggs, and he discovered though she did not that they were bad. He sent for ham and coffee from next door. Then our cream, yesterday's supply, had turned. Tom was worried, and I was ready to cry. My only consolation was that Miss B. stuck to the herrings and that the milkman came with fresh cream by the time we were ready to drink the tea. Then I went out in the hot sun to order ice cream to be at the house at 1/4 past 3. I arrived at 1/4 of 2. And Johnny came to excuse himself from dinner. I had hardly cooled from that worry when Pat came to excuse himself, and to bring a note from Tom saying — "I will bring three common men to dine at 3. Get some rashers of bacon fried, and buy a bit of cheese." When Tom says – "Common men" he generally means some intimate friends, so I was at my wit's end. Pat kindly volunteered to order some fried oysters from Prosser's. I hurriedly overlooked the arrangement of the table. At 1/2 past two, in walked ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p062.jpg) Tom. He said oysters were wasted on them, that they were labouring men—dinnerless.—Then they proved to be Mormon missionaries, going penniless, to convert England. They had been promised supper and a bed somewhere, but meanwhile were without dinner. Remembering that to hungry mountain countrymen my kickshaw, strawberries, ice-cream, spring chickens and veal-cutlets would afford little nourishment I sent Fanny to buy "Rashers of Bacon" always a mystic term with me. At 3 o'clock Fanny returned with a whole ham. It was too late to do anything with it, and as it proved we had enough without. We sent for Pat, another Mormon, a cigar-merchant named Harrison residing in Spring Garden had added himself to their party, and so we sat down to table, seven in number. Next to Tom sat a young man named Ferguson, a Salt Laker, who had been a boy-volunteer in a battalion Tom raised for the Mexican war; at Santa Fe he had the fever, and was almost cured by hearing of the Nauvoo outrages. He rose from a foot soldier's rank to a Colonel's, has since been sheriff of Salt Lake City County, and having settled down on a 250 acre farm and just married a young wife, was ordered off on a mission. He had an open pleasant face, and a frank smile. By me sat a light-haired freckled-faced Yankee Wheelock by name, who had lived at Nauvoo till the commencement of the hostilities there, and had then gone to Scotland. And beyond him sat a Scotchman, named Dunbar, from Inverness. Both of those men were of the lower classes and – I would not be inclined to disbelieve the stories of Mormon evils were they the only ones among the Mormons whom I had ever seen. Dr Bernhisel and Ferguson are of another class entirely. I would not be surprised to see these men in the Insane Asylum, or in the Penitentiary Dunbar for insulting ladies in the street, Wheelock for cheating. Still I daresay I was prejudiced. Harrison the tobacconist tilted his chair back, and was silent, shovelling his food into his mouth in prodigious mouthfuls. Tom said to Ferguson — "Well, are we to call you Captain, Colonel or General?" "I believe I am Your Reverence" said he smiling." Well then if you are your reverence perhaps you will say grace", said Tom half in fun. We immediately began a long grace, returning thanks for the feast(!) spread before us, praying for a blessing on the master and mistress of the house, and — so/on so on. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p063.jpg) Then Ferguson talked and laughed and ate, in a natural and unembarrassed manner, and consequently offered nothing ridiculous appeared in his behavior. The two Dunbar and Wheelock on the contrary with many grammatical slips, apologised for mountain– -manners, declaring they had been so long unused to civilised life that they did not know how to behave. my good men, thought I, you needn't apologise. Had you Dunbar lived in Inverness, and you Wheelock in Massachusetts till this day your manners would have been exactly the same. You are accustomed to regarding the "leather and prunella" distinction, while Ferguson is more accustomed to the "Worth makes the man, the want of it the fellow" criterion. D. and W. conversed much in the same style, they had "eaten as much as they could" informed the waiters offering vegetables – "No I thank you, I have heaps"—"did do not use wine, not because I am a member of the Temperance Society, but for personal reasons. I am aware that it looks one sided in company." Had not seen strawberries this season, had seen wild ones on the plains, but none "fixed up with cream." Speaking of the weather in crossing the plains, one said "It was hot enough to go in our shir–" but warned by a nudge from the other hastily substituted —"to wish to do without our coats." When dinner was over Ferguson rose and and said that he had just met with his family whom he had not seen for years, and must go to see them. W. and D. told me they had been on a mission in Scotland, and had spread their doctrines in Fife from Crail(?) to St Andrews, had been several times in Elie, and in Pittenweem had a church. They / Wheelock asked if I had seen them wonderful royal palaces — Holyrood, and the Castle. He said he had felt it a wonderful providence that he was allowed to put his head and shoulders in the crown room. He had made a soldier go with him after dark to show him the very guard room in Stirling Castle into which the Lady of the Lake was ushered. They had been at the old Crystal Palace, and I advised them to visit the Sydenham one Was it wrong, I wonder! In taking leave they pressed ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p064.jpg) us to visit Utah. Dr Elder, Pat and John took tea with us. Tom and I read over my old third-class compositions in the evening Tuesday Bess came in from the country before breakfast. June 20 Johnny breakfasted with us. Wrote a long diary, went to the dentist's where I expected to have six teeth filled and found only me in need of it. Hurrah. Dined and read till tea-time when Tom came home from a meeting. Bess, Tom, and I went to the Patterson's in the evening and then to Burns' ice cream saloon. I have just been elected a manager of the Infant School Society, which involves a payment of twenty dollars. Wednesday Oh this weather. It is perfectly unbearable. After Tom went June 21 down town I set to work, and occupied myself for three hours in arranging his books and papers. I found a talbotype of Elisha which I put in the frame of E. M's daguerreotype, and presented it to Tom as a souvenir that we had been married 14 months. Then I bathed, and read till dinner-time. I have been reading a review of Pestalozzi's system of education, and found it exceedingly interesting but I must not pursue the subject as I find it makes me think of a personal application, and that I have promised Tom to endeavor to avoid. Mrs Kane left word that Tom and I must spend Thursday night out at Fisher's Lane. Tom wrote till ten o'clock and I sewed. After that we walked once or twice up and down the street and then went to bed. Johnny waked up in the middle of the night. He had been locked out, and so came in to our house. Thursday Pouring rain. Johnny breakfasted with us. Poor Tom's headaches June 22 badly. Busied myself in sewing, writing diary, and heading a little account book for Bess. As the day wore on I wanted something to do so I cut out pictures for the Prison women. As it was only drizzling when Tom came home, the darling would take me to Wakefield Cottage. Bess was overjoyed. She her mother and father were having a very dull time, and brightened up amazingly when we came. Tom gave Bess a music lesson, and I read Uncle Tom's Cabin aloud afterwards. I passed a pretty restless night from shortness of breathing, and as to poor Tom he never slept till day broke. Friday Tom went to town in the seven o'clock train with his mother, June 23 and Bess and I were left to our own devices. I read Uncle Tom's Cabin aloud to her, at different times, and worked at my second collar. I went along the woodpath to find the most delicate wild flowers like the Quaker Lady, Veronica, Winter Green, Pyrola etc ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p065.jpg) and with the feathery tops of the asparagus, and some pretty mosses I made a pretty rural bouquet for two little rustic basket stands Bessie has. Afterwards we walked up to Young's vegetable place, then to the celebrated Jabey Gates', and then to Harkinson's. quite a long walk. I happened to remark some improvement in his shop and he took us over the house to see the additions he had been making—three rooms, two of them very large ones. This man's shop was the result of The rise of this man's fortunes has been a truly American thing. Mrs Henry had a very honest servant, whose very honest mother was dependent on her. Mrs Henry, liking both, stocked a tiny shop for them — and here they are. All the way up Germantown, and back, past the old Lisle Cottage was so full of associations for me that I could not but feel my heart overflow with thankfulness for my present happiness. At two o'clock Tom came out, bringing me a letter from Tot and one from Papa. In Papa's he said – "I came in in the cars today today with a very young lady, who had with her evidently her first child. She looked so like, so very like you, that I felt quite grand-paternally to the picanniny she carried." After sunset Bess, Tom, and I strolled in the woods, and on our return Mrs Wister called, After tea the Fisher's came, and then I read aloud Hans Andersen's, The Neighbor Families. I had such shortness of breath that Tom gave me brandy and water when I went to bed. Saturday John Wister called. I read Uncle Tom's Cabin to Bess, June 24 and Mary Fisher calling for us we went up to the Indian's tent on the hill. The baskets were pretty but too dear for me. Helped Bess put up curtains and arranged her accounts for the past six months in Tom's way, with which she was delighted. Came home in the 5 PM train. Poor Tom came home from his work at 1/2 past six or so. After tea attempted to read aloud but was so sleepy I had to go to bed. Sunday Delighful breeze blowing. My boy walked to church with me. June 25 The service was good as it always is, but Dr Morton not being there his substitute did not prevent my attention from wandering off in the direction of whether I should get a barège skirt for my white Jacket, or a brown gingham for travelling Wrote diary & to the girls when I came home. There was a noisy dispute about the new Sunday Law at dinner. I am ashamed to confess that I did not behave like a Christian — Yesterday Tom brought me. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p066.jpg) Johnny spoke of the "miserable wretches of church-goers with their miserable churches, for nearly all of whom he had the greatest contempt," and led my darling, who had been defending me, and the law, for Johnny made it a personal matter; into speaking bitterly too, and made me feel hurt more perhaps by the manner than the matter of what he said. I felt bitterly to Johnny for disturbing our quiet Sunday, and though I thought that I said nothing of the kind, Tom did not deny that I had when I asked him afterwards. What am I to do? Dear Tom thinks he never speaks anything that would injure my faith, yet he attacks things I have been accustomed to respect, and I don't feel at liberty to express myself when God makes me feel peaceful and happy, and somehow I feel as if my faith was weakened. I hear clergymen always abused, until I begin to believe, that I must not credit them when I hear words of faith and hope coming from their lips, that I must not respect them, as being better than I. I hear Sunday, and sectarian Christians abused, till I begin to feel as if the Son of Man was not Lord of the Sabbath, and to feel unchristianly to those who hold much by forms. Churchgoers and churches are abused, and someday, though thank God not yet, I may learn not to think Sunday a day of sweet peaceful happiness, and not to pray and give thanks, with my fellows in church, heartily. When I wonder what others do in the same predicament, I see dear Bess longer exposed than I, relinquishing part of her influence over the boys, and turning to forms and intrenching herself behind them as a means of safety. I see Tom whom forms long ago disgusted, unable to keep Johnny or Pat to any faith at all. Can I, if I ever have children, forbear to take them with me to the House of God? And what am I to do for myself. Oh my Father I am so helpless! Do thou teach me right Give me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. And oh never bless me with a child unless Tom and I and it, may all come Christians, to thy Throne! — My darling has been so sweet and kind to me all this evening. We strolled about with Pat and when we came home read one of Arnold's sermons, in which he says our object in life should be, not to do the greatest amount of good to our fellows, but to do our Father's will. If the first be our object, sickness, sorrow, poverty, though Godsent, may cause us bitter trouble, but if the latter, we may cast all our care on Him who careth for us. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p067.jpg) Monday Bess came up to breakfast. It was a cold day and I had to wear June 26 a shawl, and not bathe before breakfast. We first went to Mm Baratet's and los engaged her to make my dresses, Then to the school where we each took six children, and drilled them. They were dreadfully stupid. Then poor Miss Wilson told me that she feared her niece was dying, and that she would not feel like teaching, so I assured her we would let her off. Then Tom we took the omnibus down to Bailey's where Bess had an errand, and looked through his shop, and then we walked to Hauel's, where I wanted pomatum. Then we went through Tyndale's beautiful shop, to look for something to hold Tom's pens. I confess I greatly enjoyed seeing the "pretty things." Then into several shops and so home at two o'clock. After dinner I began the skirt of my dress and finished it that evening, Tom reading aloud to me part of the time. Tuesday This morning Johnny Green rushed in pale with June 27 affright, averring that Johnny Kane had cholera. It turned out a slight cholera morbus, and we took our breakfast quietly though my nerves were quite unstrung, and I am sure poor Tom's were. We heard of Madame Sontag's death today, poor thing. Tom put me in the omnibus, which took me to the depôt, and I went out to Germantown. I found the poor woman at the Fisher's Lane Station just dead. Her husband came out in the train with me. She died quite suddenly. It was a dreadfully hot day, the thermometer 105 in the shade. Pleasant climate this! Yesterday was quite cold. I finished Uncle Tom's Cabin to Bess, and read a few other things. Poor dear Tom came out at half past two, and we returned at eight o'clock. My head ached so much that I went to bed at once. Wednesday Wrote to Mrs Townsend to ask about boarding for a poor June 28 little patient of Johnny's who has typhus fever. Wrote diary— – Saturday My dear diary you must forgive me! (I was out of town), Thursday July 1st and Friday, and I have forgotten what I did. I have been busy buying presents for the kips, as we hope to go to Morristown next week, and I must be off now to Germantown. I went down to Baratet's (the dressmaker) and she told me to come on Monday. She had quite forgotten my dress. I brought some little presents for the children, to take with me, and as I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p068.jpg) had just laid in my winter's stock of lavender, I took some bunches out for Bess, and for the elder ones at home. Coming out in the two o'clock train I was very much amused at a little scene that took place. A very plebeian young husband and wife came in, with a redfaced newly awakened child, roaring with all its might. In vain they tried to pacify it. I roared with all its might still, and the passengers looked round very much annoyed. A deep voice behind me growled out— "Child! If you don't stop, I'll whip you!" The child turned round, with its mouth still stretched to a roaring extent, and became fixed. It soon fell asleep, and when a jar of the cars re-awakened it, it turned instinctively towards its terrifier and became silent. The gentleman was Mr Henry Baylard. I wonder how he manages his own child! After dinner the Judge gave me a long and interesting monologue on Patents and Paper-Making; then I lay down till 1/2 past six when Tom came out. After tea I finished my dressmaking, and read the new number of the Newcomes aloud. Sunday Such a pleasant morning! First, Bess and I and July 2 Tom sat on the steps outside the cottage, and I read a sermon of Arnold's aloud. Then we (Tom & I) accompanied Bess and her mother part of the way to church, and then we entered the woods, Tom took stones and made a nice seat for me, and I read the Bible, and repeated hymns to him. After dinner I was very cross and sleepy; Tom and Pat occupying the only habitable room, at that hour. I sat with the Judge and Mrs Kane who read aloud. In the evening we strolled about a little, and then the usual singing took place. Monday A fearfully hot day. Went into town by the seven July 3 o'clock train, and worked hard, expecting to go to Morristown on Thursday. No such thing! Madame Baratet could not give me my things before Saturday. I was so provoked! Tom and I took ices at a place in Arch Street, and then went out in the seven P.M. train. Found the family just going out to call on the Fishers, so we sat together, and I told Tom stories. Tuesday "The glorious Fourth" was a disagreeable a day as it usually is. July 4th I commenced teaching Bess—"The plain was grassy, wild and bare.", and she was delighted to find herself able to learn it. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p069.jpg) Mr William Leiper, John and Pat dined out with us. The dinner was a peppery one. Tom and his father dined in town, and were to sleep there. Bess and I were to sleep in the large room together. After dinner John and Pat went into back to town with Mr Leiper, and in the evening Pat came out and took Bess to spend the evening at the Cadwalader's. Mrs Kane sent the servants to see the fireworks, and she and I sat alone, my pistol on the table before us, and I read the beginning of the Newcomes to her. I believe I should be sure to miss my aim if I were to fire at a robber, for when Lucy barked furiously, and we wished to see what was the matter, my heart beat so, that I never could have hit anything if I had tried. The alarm was a false one, but when I went to bed, I laid my pistol beside me. In the middle of the night I waked to find some one kissing me. "Very odd of Bess" thought I, and behold it was Tom, who had returned unexpectedly, had undressed and come to bed an hour before, without my hearing him. Robbers are pretty safe for me! Wednesday Helped Bess to finish learning, "The dying Swan" July 5 and to learn — "Not wholly in the busy world" at Fern Rock, where she, the Judge, and I, drove. Ah how wild and pretty it looked! The squirrels chased each other close to us, as we sat at the foot of the rock. In the afternoon I croche'd part of a pincushion for Bess, and in the evening read the "Palace of Art" aloud. Thursday Bess and I walked a long way up Germantown to buy July 6 stuff for curtains, which her father didn't like. So I kept it. Tom stayed at home with us. I finished her pincushion (Bessie's I mean) Friday Letitia Mitchell spent the day with us. Made a travelling July 7 pincushion for Bess. Went into town by the 6 P.M. train expecting Gen. Houston, who didn't come. My dresses came home looking horribly. Saturday Went to the dressmaker's had my dress altered, July 8 packed, and at two o'clock Tom brought a nice wagon and we drove over to Germantown where we dined. Then we went to the Dunlaps spent the afternoon there, and had a delightful drive home. Poor Tom spent the evening vainly hunting for Gen. Houston. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p070.jpg) Sunday Very hot. Wrote diary, read one of Arnold's sermons with July 9 Tom. We expect to start in the 10 A.M. train for New York tomorrow. We didn't do much today. I have a curious book of Early Travels in Palestine to read. They It comprises those of Arculf AD 700. Saewulf [-]02 Sir John Maundeville 1322 De La Brocquière 1433 & Maundrell 1697. Monday Our journey was much pleasanter than it usually is, owing July 10 to the heavy rains of yesterday, and last night. Mr Plitt and his wife were on board, bound for Sharon ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p072.jpg) Thursday Rose at six, and slipped on my clothes, and went downstairs to give July 13 Walter the letter. Then dressed, and held my poor boy in my arms till breakfast time. After breakfast, he lay on the bed in Walter's room, and Tot, Helen, and I went about a square to the shoemaker's. Then dismissing Nell, Tot and I resolved to go a square further, and then I opened my propositions. NB. Tot contrived to lose our way completely. She embraced it eagerly till the question of money turned up. Then she refused to come, or to urge the children's coming, unless their board were paid. To this I knew Tom would never consent; and so I told her. When we reached home found that poor Tom had gone to bed, and that John Hone was in the parlour. When I told Tom the result of our conversation he was very much grieved, and told me that I must now speak to Papa, and Walter. Until they came home I divided my time between my poor suffering boy, and the children. Poor wee Nell is making a beautiful pincushion for me. On a white satin ground, a wreath of shamrocks, encircling the initials of my name, and worked in two shades of green. When they came home I tried to win Walter to my plan, not very successfully, for he was lukewarm, and contented himself with abusing C. M. Then I waited till after tea, and told Papa I wanted to speak with him, so we went out and took a walk, I said – Papa, I want to ask you about the children. Next Winter, a Mrs Trist is going to have a few children as boarders, and I want you to let them go there, and come to us, from Friday till Monday. Tut, tut – no indeed?! Besides I don't approve of boarding schools— No Papa, you mustn't say Hut, tut, but listen. Then I told him how Harry was growing up awkward, reserved, and pointedly avoiding us. How I had seen her pass under young Ehninger's window, smiling, blushing and looking up. How entirely ignorant he was of all her habits of thought, and of her doings generally. How bad the home influences were for her and Helen, how shut up they were, and kept blinded for the sake of not letting them see the dissensions between himself and C. M, and how little he knew of their companions. How did he expect them to act when the bandage was taken from their eyes, and they were allowed to come into the world, as they some day must? ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p073.jpg) What assurance had he that Harry would not fall in love with any low wretch, she might meet outside, and what influence had he over her to prevent it? I told him the task he imposed upon Tot was too great, and that he knew that he had been obliged to send her away several times lest she should go crazy or die under the weight of care he imposed. Then I offered the three girls a home with me for the winter, also that they should go to some small school, where I could invite such of the girls as were fit companions for them to my house. I am only giving now a dry abstract of what I said, but I know I spoke rightly for I kept lifting my heart to God, to guide me. Papa put forward very lame objections and concluded by saying that if things got very much worse, he might think of it. I ended by warning him that I had done my duty, and that now the responsibility was on his shoulders. Poor darling had a very bad night. Friday Tom was worse, and we concluded to go home tomorrow July 14 instead of Monday. Had a long talk with C. M. in which she spoke sensibly and kindly about the children, agreeing with me, of course. Dear little Denny goes about the house calling my name and begging me to come play with him. Harry was furious because we spoke to her about this young cripple, and remained a statue the whole day. Tot wrote a long note to Tom on pecuniary arrange- -ments, which he would not receive. Packed our trunks. In the evening Tom spoke again to Walter though quite uselessly. Saturday Left at 1/2 past 7. The children all accompanied us to the July 15 cars, and I made Cousin Margaret promise to write to me. Tom looked dreadfully, but stood the journey wonderfully. I attacked Papa again, but in vain. Papa says that poor Gracie divided all her little possessions, and put aside something for each of us. Mine was a ring or bracelet, and they were all lost at sea. Such a loss is worse than that of money. It seems so sacred a gift from her dying hands, dear girl. Poor Tom rested an hour at Newark, and with the aid of brandy got safely home, and to bed. Weir Mitchell was called in, and prescribed for him. He came twice, and told me that I must give him pills through the night. I doubted my capacity of waking but fortunately my breathing was so short, that I had to sit ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p074.jpg) up, and could not sleep Sunday Tom much better, I sat beside him reading my Bible & writing July 16 my diary in the morning —— Friday Today for the first time I have the spirit to write. He is now safe if July 21 he have no relapse, but oh how dreadful these days have been. While I sat looking at the dear form lying in the opium-stupor, or saw his brow contracted by pain, and knew that he lay, just on the threshold of Life, how all the dear happiness of other days crowded my thoughts. Oh how thankless I have been, and how truly I saw how I have neglected, and despised blessings so much beyond my deserts. Now, if my dear one recovers I trust I shall be a better wife to him, a truer servant of God. And may He in his mercy, give me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. I had a nice letter from Miss Preston which I copy West Grove Chester County Pa July 6th '54 My dear Mrs Kane I have not been unmindful of your generous kindness in sending me a note through Mrs Heald in March, and in my heart I have thanked Mr Kane also, for his letters to persons in Washing- -ton. I had intended to call upon my return from Washington to Phila & thank you in ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p075.jpg) July—August–September–October "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." "In Thee O Lord have I put my trust. Let me never be confounded!" Why art thou cast down O my soul, and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God for I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance and my God." "As thy day is, so shall they strength be." "Whom He loveth, He chasteneth." "Wait on the Lord be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thy heart, wait, I say on the Lord." "The Lord help thee in the day of trouble, the name of the God of Jacob defend thee! Send thee help from the sanctuary, and comfort thee out of Zion." I was brought low and He helped me." "My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is my strength, and my portion forever." Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and no herd in the stalls; yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." "Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. Fear thou not for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. – I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee – 'Fear not, I will help thee.'" "Humble yourselves. therefore render the mightly hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." "As the hills are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people, from henceforth even forevermore." "Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee; yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast." "The living, the living, he shall praise thee, as I do this day!" "I was brought low, and he helped me."! "Ye that fear the Lord, trust in the Lord. He is our help and our shield!" "I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to God my God while I have my being." "Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice." 12. May 1836. Marked by Mamma "What time I am afraid I will trust in thee." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p076.jpg) Dec 31st I have never had the heart to write in this book, since 1854 the 21st of July, any account of the passing time. Till the 14th of October we had more misery than I can even now think of, or write about. Tom was so very, very ill. After that he grew better. But we gave up house- -keeping, and came over to 36 Girard Street; selling off most of the furniture of dear 38, and reserving only some orna- -ments, and the furniture of one room. The experience of the summer convinced us that our duty to the family required us to be more with them. Tom's father and mother are growing old, and Bess and they would be very lonely alone in the country. I see that the Judge depends more on Tom, as a counsellor and confidant than he does upon his other sons. I have a daughter's and sister's duty to perform and though I don't do it, I out to. They thought us not strong enough to continue keeping house, and so it pleased us all. The wisdom of our having done so has been proved, at least in one thing. For I am going to be a mother, I hope. C. B. January Poor Tom was ill with pleurisy all last week but he is 1st 1855 much better now. As this was a perfectly delicious day I walked up to Roberts' the grocer's and brought home a can of preserved tomatoes for Tom's dinner. Also I made up my yearly accounts. But for Tom's illness we should have got along very well. As it is we have spent far more than we expected. I am thankful f however that we have money to pay off all debts, and considering the sickness we have had, and that we married owing $3000 on furnitures, etceteras, I think we may congratulate ourselves. I am so happy too and so well, wonderfully well, and I have past the time that I miscarried before. So perhaps 1855 will give me a darling child. I think about it all the time, and Tom scolds me – but he thinks about it himself, and never leaves off, I know. —— The Medical College has been going on very well this year. but poor Dr Johnson has just died. My tickets for the course are taken, though I havent attended, for baby's sake. January 2 I did not feel very well, though Tom was better. So I only walked once round the square, and did nothing particular all day. In the evening Bessie had ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p077.jpg) a little party for the Butlers, which I attended till 9 o'clock, and then returned to Tom. He was sick in the night poor fellow, and I gave them all a fright towards morning by having a colic. It was nothing however. January This morning I am very well suffering only from 3rd 1855 a dose of brandy I had last night. I had a visit from Mr Pell, and a nice note from Tot, which I answered. I put down some few accounts, and wrote this morsel of diary. Then I set to work to make over a pair of undersleeves, reading Condie on the Management of Childeren meanwhile. And that reminds me to write down one or two things which young mothers will do, and which I may possibly avoid if I make up my mind so to do, before mother-hood casts its glamour over my eyes too. And first, and hardest of all, don't talk of its wonderful sayings or doings to any one, unless as a safety-valve to Tom. It will not lose in any one's eyes, for – has it not a grand- -mother? Next, never take it to spend the day any- -where, nor produce it for the edification of visitors. Third, don't let it be brought into the room at dessert time, nor when it is in the room at other times. let it remain one instant if it cries, or interrupts conversation. Fourth. Not until it is between three or and four years old, allow it to come to table. Punish any defect in manners at table, by making it dine by itself next day. Send it out of the room on some pretext whenever a dispute arises at table, also whenever guests whose manners are not good, dine there. In making the rule of not permitting it to take meals at table, don't forget that its nursery meals must always be overlooked by me. Teach it as soon as possible to use napkin and finger-glass. Don't let vanity tempt me to let it wear caps. Always wash and dress it myself. Try to teach it neatness. Which I must begin by practicing it myself. These little trivialities, as they seem, are really of some importance. But in the weightier matters, oh my God, teach me how to fulfil my duties to it. — My poor Tom was worse in the night. January Not up till late for fear of waking Tom who 4th 1855 suffered a great deal this morning. Received and answered a note from Nell, and wrote diary. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p078.jpg) Packed away my toilet set and the liqueur bottles and glasses, as our room is really too crowded for any degree of comfort. I darned several stockings, and read Nicholas Nickleby. I really don't remember doing anything else all day. January A most exquisite day. I went out and paid a long 5th Friday call on Aunt Patterson, and then went down to Hazard's, and bought Horace Greeley's Life, and the last number of Putnam's Magazine for Tom. Again I went out, and walked just round the square. This occupied me till dinner time. I received a letter from Papa, remon- -strating with me about Tom's going to the fire, which I answered that in the evening. Tom wants to go with the Expedition in search of Elisha. I have told him that if he can get his father; the old, and the young Dr Mitchell to approve his going, and to say they think it likely to improve his health: that I shall not veto his going. He says he will not go, unless I can view his going with cheerfulness, and as a mere pleasure trip. When I am sure that he thinks his duty requires him to do a thing, it is, of course very hard for me to prevent his doing it. Yet even with the concurrence of the three I have mentioned. I am afraid I cannot think of my poor delicate Tom having these dangers, and being away from me from spring to late in the autumn, while I cannot hear how he is, or go to him when he is sick. I know that he would try to be prudent, but he was born im prudent, and – his brother's life may depend upon some hair-breadth chance. If I have to part with him I shall pray to God to bring him back, but I shall not expect him. I shall try to fancy that he will come for my child's sake. I don't dwell upon the thought of his being far from me in my time of trial, because if he does not go to the Arctic Regions, I hope to induce him to spend the summer, as his health requires, at Bedford or Newport. — God guide me what to do. Saturday Mrs Kane brought home yesterday stuff for baby's night gowns January 6 etc, and this morning I am hard at work finishing the work I have on hand, so as to commence. Tom was restless all night and we did not rise till eleven. Wrote diary, sewed, darninig nine pairs of stockings by the bye, and finished the hasty perusal of Condie. I confess it puzzles me greatly to know how to regulate its ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p079.jpg) times of sleeping and eating. In the evening, the Judge read part of "As you Like It," to Bessie and myself. I made up an entire lace chemisette. I record this, merely to remind myself that I sew much quicker and better than I used to do. — Poor Tom not at all well. January Tom had a bad night, and took so much laudanum 7th Saturday that he had to stay in bed till dinner-time. I therefore did not go to church but staid with him. I read several of Herbert's Poems, and Keble's to him, and some chapters of the Bible and one of Cumming's sermons, to myself. I was very much disappointed in this last. As it was a damp, but warm day, the air deliciously soft, I took a little walk. But I soon returned, because it being church hour, no respectable women were in the street. Notwithstanding the Cantharides etc, Tom's pain still continues. Oh my God, pity and relieve him! I know that thou hast some purpose in view in thus afflicting him. Do as thou wilt with us. January 8 A lovely day, the air more bracing than yesterday. Rose in Monday time for breakfast; washed up the silver with Bess, before Tom woke. Then helped him to dress, and found him, thank God, much better. Sewed for a while, then dressed and took a long walk bringing home stuff for finishing some work; pomatum, and sugar-biscuit for Tom. Found him well enough to take a drive round Logan Square. The Cathedral has just had its cumns capped, and it looks most beautiful. On our return we found Weir's bill. It is only 218.00, so Tom will make it up to $400.00 by giving him some a fine mi- -croscope, or some such thing. After dinner lay down as usual. I hope my health is really benefited by the sacrifice of so many hours of daylight. After tea finished a nightcap, glancing at Evelyn's Diary, as I worked. I think I should like to read it through some day. Bade Aunt Patterson, and Cousin Helen goodbye. They leave tomorrow for New York, and thence proceed to England. January 9 Tom much better. The weather is entirely changed, rain Tuesday and snow falling alternately. Washed silver, sewed, wrote diary, and read a long letter from Papa to Tom in answer to mine of Friday last, acknowleding that I had at first carried him off his feet, but recurring to the subject accusation in the end. Mrs Kane said she expected Miss Fox so I dressed to receive her but she never came. Bessie took tea at the Mitchell's and Tom and I read a ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p080.jpg) Report on the Infant Schools of Glasgow, Edinburgh, and London. Wednesday A beautiful day. Aunt Patterson sailed from New York. January 10 I walked down town and chose the material for a little sacque for Cousin Margaret's expected baby, which I carried to the Ladies' Depository to be embroidered. Took quite a long and pleasant walk with dear Tom. I began to work again at my collar, which I had thrown aside as too tedious to finish. But I am tolerably near the end, and as I have wasted so much time on it, I may as well get the wear of it. In the evening I began making up a pair of lace sleeves, while the Judge read Shakspere to me. Thursday A nice little note from Nell, speaking very kindly of January 11 Miss Haines. Washed breakfast things, and sewed till half past ten. Then went with Mother to the Annual meeting of the "Widows." Found the hall of the Asylum well filled with Ladies. Mr Boardman, and a person who looked like a cheerful linen-draper, but for a certain clerical twist of the hair, the Rev. Mr Jenkins; officiated. First one read those verses about — "When saw we Thee an hungered, and fed thee?" Then the other prayed. Then Mr B. read the Report, at the close of which came a list of the managers for the The list is always the same – He had just commenced, when Mrs Dr Hodge who must always have her fingers in every pie, telegraphed him to stop. After a great deal of whispering, Dr B. announced that the list was one of candidates for election, and resumed the reading, varying it only by saying at the end — "Ladies who approve the nominations will please say Aye." Whereupon they all genteelly murmured – Aye. "Ladies who disapprove, will please say No." Of course no one said so. Some might ask what good was effected by this proceeding. I reply – "Mrs Dr Hodge, the efficient manager etc etc" brought herself into notice. Then Dr. Boardman remarked that he had been asked to make a few remarks that day upon the subject, but that it was a difficult matter, and he had few words to say. He evidently found it a difficult matter for he told a story about the appearance of a boy leading his drunken beast of a father past the Girard House. Apparently struck by the fact that this had little do with the matter in hand i.e. Widows & Single Women Aged and Indigent; he concluded the anecdote somewhat abruptly by saying — "Mothers doubtless experience the same." I was curious to know how ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p081.jpg) his Reverence would parse the adjective same; as qualifying what noun I mean. Also how the sentence applied to the preceding anecdote, and what it was all about, in connection with the Widows and Single Women. However a great many ladies snivelled audibly, so it must have been touching. He made up for the quality, by the quantity of his remarks, which he diluted to such a consistency of wordy bosh that he loaded the wings of sixty seconds minutes with them, so that, confined in that close vault of a hall, where one could hardly breathe, each second crawled away like a minute, each minute like an hour. I wish some one would put down this style of address. A man who is a professed servant of Christ, whose words all Christians ought to trust, is invited by a set of women to come and Address them, a phrase which means neither more nor less than in the language of Bottom "Scratch my head, good Master Peas-Blossom." Accordingly the man comes, takes our Saviou'r beautiful words, and pollutes them by saying that they are such noble women, they feed the sick, they clothe the hungry, they entertain angels unawares and so on. God's mercy man! Isn't there another passage somewhere about those who are not to let the right hand know what the left doeth; and those who blow a trumpet before them? And the silly fools sit there, while the silver-tongued fairy, Flattery soothes them to complacency, little dreaming how their Asses' heads appear to outsiders. So I well to be angry, though? No indeed. Wait till I do anything as creditable as these women, and then let me find whether I don't strut like any Pouter Pigeon. Friday A budget of the nicest letters. One from Maggie Jones, January 12 one, full of wit from Harry, one from Minnie Morris announcing that she would arrive in Philadelphia today, and another which told me that tomorrow my dear Willie goes to Morristown for three months, and after that perhaps to England. Thank God for His mercy! I wrote a long letter to Harry, and sent messengers constantly to know whether Minnie had arrived at the Girard House. About six o'clock she & ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p082.jpg) her husband arrived. They stayed to tea, and spent the evening. I was worried about Tom, who is worse, and Minnie was shy so it was pretty dull. They promised to come tomorrow to dinner. Saturday Kept awake a long while by our little friends the January 13 mice. Took a little walk in an interval of sunlight, and bought black silk to make myself a jacket with. For Tom says I am to go to New York on the 25th. Minnie and Mr Edwards came to dinner. Tom though better, was unable to come down. I liked Mr. Edwards quite well. After dinner, as the afternoon closed in Minnie told me all about her courtship, and when the lamps were lighted, and we drew round the table with the rest we had a long talk of old school days. Indeed, I must write about them before I forget. The few facts Minnie could add to my stock were these. Eliza Heinemann who had chills and fever, put to sleep, in a room lighted only by a pane of glass over the door of another room, with Josey Hooker dying of consumption, caught it from her, and died. She told me of the long sleeping room warmed though the night by heated air. Aired on Saturdays. The boarders routine rise, breakfast, walk immediately for an hour,* study till three, in a room with never opened windows, heated by an ill smelling furnace, at three dine on the boiled beef they have smelled for an hour, go to walk again sick or well, study for two hours, tea study till nine, prayers, bed at ten. I shall make a list of all the girls, whose names I remember, their health and fate. Those whose fate I cannot tell. I shall make a point of inquiring about, when I go to New York. Emma Bacot. B Hard student. After leaving, typhoid fever, Several years fever and ague. Lived however in an unhealthy place. Gone to Toulon Josey Hooker B. Hard student. Consumption; died at school three years I think Margaret Jones D. " " On leaving school protracted Cow fever. Ague. ten ~Minnie Morris B&D. No student. very delicate, Improved on leaving school " " Bessie Wood — " Julia Hasbrouck D. Hard student. Leaving school twisted ankle, Whole summer ten years confined to the house " Harriet Phoenix ten years " Phoebe Taylor " Tootsed. Had to leave off before the end five " Eliza Heinemann Consumption from Josey Hooker three S.P. Delafield On leaving school fever & ague seven [text written in left margin, indicated by asterisk in original text] * In an experiment on three equally healthy dogs, fed at the same time and for o Killed an hour after, it was found that one who had slept the whole hour had entirely digested his food. One who had been enticed to play had partially digested his food. One who had been forced to run constantly had his food perfectly undigested. As mental talks exertions have the same effect as physical, query whether Mrs O's routine was not more economical than the brimstone and molasses of another celebrated academy? ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p083.jpg) Julia Wiltbank Crazy five years Georgiana Andrews Hard student. Reviews tootsed. Brain fever " " Emily Wyeth " " Hair all came out. Sent to country " " I am sorry to find how few I remember. But I know of no girl who enjoyed good health! I was an instance of one of the healthier girls, and what was I! Sunday I called for Minnie and her husband, and took them January 14 to church with me. Dr Morton's sermon though inte- -resting was not particularly good. My eyes hurt a good deal in the evening. Read Barnes' Notes on Job. I am going to try to read a chapter and its notes regularly every night. I think Tom and I were perfectly happy Saturday night, talking about our hopes. This night Tom was up till 1/2 past 3 catching the two mice who disturbed our rest so much. Monday Went to Mme Baratet's to be measured for a dress. The January 15. poor woman must be very hard up for she begged me to allow her to make my summer dresses now. Then I went to the fluter's. On returning I found Tom in a state of great distress. A cheque of his drawn on the Merchant's Bank had been refused. I had ninety dollars in my desk, and with this I hurried down to Pat's office. Found that Tom had quite a balance in bank, and hurried up again to tell him. It turned out that the cheque had been presented at the wrong bank!! In the evening wrote up my diary from Thursday, and wrote to Will. Tuesday. Spent the morning at the school. Wrote diary, etc. January 16 Tom slept for an hour or so before dinner, as he wanted to attend a meeting of the Board of Managers of the House of Refuge, in the afternoon. He had been elected a manager and wished to resign. I tried to persuade him not to go. Failing that, I got him to rest as I said, and he promised to take care of himself, as indeed he did. At dinner they begged him not to go. Very little was said, Tom quitting the table soon to rest before he went. Then a tirade ensued on Johnny's part He said Tom ought to have excused himself. I said that he could not do so. He asked whose word I had for that. I said Tom's. He said — You don't believe what he says? To which I replied that I certainly did; hoping that he would drop the subject there, but he began — Oh yes, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p084.jpg) "Love, honor & obey etc," and then went on that Tom was in a critical state, that he should not be at all surprised if he were dead when he (J) returned from the Arctic Seas. At the same time, if those who certainly had influence with him performed their duty, and kept him from doing such insane things, he might grow quite strong. As it was, he had left off remon- -strating with Tom since he married, as it was his wife's duty, and her place to take care of him — And much more in the same strain. I know it was his fondness for Tom that made him speak in this way, besides that unfortunately he has been spoiled by over-indulgence, and so forgets that other people have feelings as well as himself. So I didn't feel angry with him, but as I am nervous, and was already very much distressed about Tom, Johnny's comforting speech about his death, did not tend to make me happy. When I went upstairs I found Johnny trying to persuade Tom not to go. Johnny went off indignant presently, and soon after I could not help crying. I did not tell Tom why, of course. When he returned he brought a Mr Hart to take tea. This man stayed, talking business, till about ten. I knew Tom would suffer for it, and to distract my mind I began talking to his mother, about preparing for the baby. Her comfort was— Better not go to New York, better not make much preparation. It is exceedingly doubtful whether your child will be born alive. Is it any wonder that I was slightly depressed? The Judge came home having been eminently successful in his mission, so far. Wednesday Having come, in the tolerably sleepless watches of the night, January 17 to the conclusion that I ought to give up my home visit, it was enlivening to receive letters from Cousin Margaret, Tot, Harry and Helen, expressing their joy at my coming. Also, my new jacket that I had ordered for the express purpose of going home nicely dressed, came, fitted me beautifully, and cost a great deal. However I can't bear the waists of my afternoon dresses so it makes little difference when I bought it, as I need it at any rate. Tom wasn't at all well. I called on Aunt Alida to tell her about the Judge's success but she was not at home. Thursday An exquisite day. Tom feverish, and unwell. Went out and January 18 called on Lily Macalester at the Lapierre House. In the evening I wrote a long long letter to Cousin Mar- -garet, telling her my reasons for not coming, and speaking cheerfully about both the children that are coming. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p085.jpg) Tom wrote a letter to Papa at the same time, and was worse in the night. Friday A note from Papa, not telling any particular new however, January 19 As Tom was worse I went up to Becky Patterson's to refuse her kind offer of the carriage, for Tom. I found it at the door, and the good little woman insisted on my taking it for a drive. So I went down to Tieber's and bought the Illustrated News, Punch, etc for poor Tom to look at. Stopped at the College to see Miss Preston, and told her how ill poor Tom is. She tells me that Dr Johnson's place is supplied by a Mr. Gillingham who lectures pretty well. The College is very much in want of funds. Saturday Yesterday evening Tom consulted Weir about me. He says he January 20 has noticed a great change in me this fortnight, and that probably my darling little one will bring me strong health. Tom was worse last night, but better in the morning. As it was a bad day I stayed at home and wrote to Tot. Tom and I hung our room with the Elisha–Hamilton pictures in the evening. Sewed away at my collar. Sunday Twenty-one months married! A happy time to me, God January 21 knows, and I trust to dear Tom. If God makes us the parents of a living child I hope we shall perform our duty to it, and that it will draw us both nearer to God. As the rain came down at uncertain intervals all day I stayed with Tom, and had rather a pleasant time. I have been a bad girl this week, prone to take offence and blind to my own faults. Oh God, help me to correct them before my example can harm my dear child! Papa sent Tom a nice congratulatory note. He says dear Will wrote him a pleasant letter, and is well. Monday There was a perfectly furious storm last night from the N.W. January 22 This morning it gradually cleared off, and was a beautiful day, though the wind was very high. Becky sent the carriage at twelve, and we took a drive through the upper part of the town. Tom was very much fatigued by it. He says that if he does not mend quickly he will go to Savannah, and that without me, which I should not like at all. If the doctors would let him take me. I think I should rather enjoy it. I wrote a very dull note to dear Will. Lizzie Mitchell spent the evening with us, and I made quite a wonderful progress in my collar. I wish it were only finished! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p086.jpg) Tuesday This morning's papers bring us bad news. Elisha's bill was January 23 laid over on the House, certainly till next Monday. God grant it may pass then! I had a pleasant note from Papa enclosing the Co-partnership notice of dear Walter's entrance into partnership; highly de- lighted with my letter to Cousin Margaret; and enclosing also a nice letter from dear Willie, in good health and spirits. — Wrote diary, put down accounts. Walked with Tom up Twelfth to Race, and back by Eleventh street. He was very much fatigued. After tea read Household Words aloud to Bessie. Perhaps I have been mistaken in deferring my baby's coming to the 28th of July, and it may be as soon as the end of the first week of July. How glad I shall be Wednesday Read a capital speech of Mr Chandler's on the Temporal January 24 Sovereignty of the Pope, in which he denied that the supremacy of the Pope could interfere with the political rights and duties of any of his spiritual subjects, quoting Bishops England and Kenrick of Baltimore, Hughes of New York, the declaration of the Pope in answer to the letter of inquiry addressed to him by the clergy of Ireland, and in the time of Pitt, the answers of the Sorbonne, Douay, Valladolid and Alcala Colleges to the three questions drawn up by the Catholic citizens of London. He acknowledged that temporal power had often been exercised by the Popes, as in the case of the Emperor Henry IV of Germany, but denied that they exercised it as by divine right solely, for in that case he con- -sidered that it would be a prerogative granted by Christ, and only to be resumed by Him. No, he said, the power was granted by the Christian princes themselves, to be withdrawn when they pleased. Doubtless the power of deposing by excommunication, which then resided in the Pope, by the constitutions of those nations; this power to bind and to loose gave him a certain spiritual right, which by many careless writers was taken for a divine right to temporal sovereignty. He did not deny that ambition and covetousness had led some Popes to misuse their powers, and but he did deny that they had ever arrogated to themselves temporal sovereignty. For myself I cannot understand why the pope, if he be God's vicegerent should not have [--] temporal power. For surely if God trusts him with our souls, he does not deny him wisdom enough to rule our bodies. And I can't understand how Catholics can admit the existence ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p087.jpg) of wicked Popes. However I'll ask Tom. And I must go and exercise for fear of catching cold this snowy day. Tom has been telling me about the Kanes, because I told him that I knew much more about the Leiper connection, than the Kane. And I will write down what I remember of it, lest I forget. A certain Milesius of ancient times had a descen- -dant named Cahan whose descendents under the name of O'Cahan possessed great part of Derry. Whether as head of the clan, or merely as one of the inferior branches, we come from this stock. After the deprivation confiscation of *About 1612 the property in Derry, a certain Evanue O'Kane * came down to the O'Neills in Antrim to act as factor of the lands of an O'Neill his cousin on the mother's side. He resided on property of his own, which must have been of considerable value, because in after times in the Encumbered Estates Record, his property of Sharroghs is valued at ?20,000. His son Bernard married a Martha * O'Hara, and on his death, as Catholics could not leave property to Catholics, his cousin O'Neill as suzerain made a hundred year lease of the place to Colonel O'Hara a Protestant relative of Mrs O'Kane's for the widow's benefit. He however having got it kept it, and defrauded poor Martha leaving her with two sons and two daughters. The oldest John, at the age of sixteen came out here, dropped the O' and changed his religion, becoming an Episcopalian and a fierce Tory. He married Sybil Kent, and their children were our grandfathers, and granduncles, John Elisha, Oliver, Charles, James, Elias, Archibald, and the daughters Martha who married Captain Livingston, Sybil Adeline who married Jeremias Van Rensselaer, Louisa who died unmarried Abigail married Captain Lawrence. Poor Tom was very sick at night. The Judge came home in good spirits Thursday The anniversary of my engagement three years ago! January 25 Wrote diary, & sewed, after washing silver, watering plants, tidying the room, and giving my bird seed & water, until twelve o'clock. Went to Aunt Alida's and paid quite a long visit there. Can I make up my mind to call my little pet Alida? Then took a walk with Tom. In the evening Dr Emerson, and Aunt Alida called. Friday Tom spent a restless night. The weather was very January 26 bad, and I don't remember anything else all day Minnie Morris spent the evening [writing in right margin, indicated by asterisk in text] This bad old wretch disinherited her daughter for marrying beneath her, and refused her forgiveness on her dying bed. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p088.jpg) Saturday Sewed etc till one. Then drove with Tom to Miss January 27 Preston's where he made an agreement with the dear little woman that I should study with her. I go first on Wednesday at one o'clock. Then I went to Mrs Rush's reception with Pat, who was looking for Sally Butler poor fellow. This was Tom's thirty-third birthday, the darling! Weir Mitchell stayed out a call till twelve at night, and so I got a great deal of my collar done. Sunday Tom well enough to walk to church with me, January 28. where I returned hearty thanks to God for bringing me in such good health and spirits through sixteen of the forty weeks which must pass ere I behold my baby! I could not help wandering to it from the sermon a great deal. Had a long talk about Fern Rock with the Judge. Was much bothered about ministers now, and in Christ's time. All sang in the evening. Monday Rained in the morning. Wrote to Willie, wrote diary, January 29 and at one o'clock went with Tom to call on poor Becky Patterson whose constant troubles are enough to overwhelm the stoutest heart. Her oldest child had a convulsion not many hours after she started for New York to remove her crazy brother from the fury of his wife's relatives. She was telegraphed for, and returned on Sunday. We found her sitting in the room with the child on her knee. He is better. Lizzie Mitchell spent the evening, and I worked a little at my collar. Today Elisha's bill passed the House, God be thanked! Tuesday A particularly uneventful day. Tom and I called again January 30 on Becky. My little sacque for Cousin Margaret's baby came home, and was greatly admired. We "fixed" it in a box to admiration. Wednesday This was the first day of my going to Miss Preston's, January 31 where I spent an exceedingly pleasant hour. She chose the Nervous System, and told me more, making me under- -stand it, than all the troublesome hours I had spent over the same subject had made me do, in May. Coming back along old Arch Street, Tom overtook me to my great delight, and we had an exceedingly pleasant walk to Dr Elder's, whom we invited to spend tomorrow evening with us. We must have walked altogether, about three miles. In the evening Bess and her mother went to church, and Tom played and sang while I sat ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p089.jpg) beside him. There are few of my happy hours that are more happily spent than these Wednesday evenings. I love to have dear Tom singing beside me, and I think that dear as music is to him, he would not enjoy it half as much if I did not sit by; and then, while he plays, and I sew, we dream and plan about our little one. I am sure that hope has softened all our troubles, and heightened all our happiness for months! Even if we never have the joy of holding it in our arms, we can sincerely thank our Father for the blessing of the hopes we have felt. Today also I rejoice in another blessing. Last night it was decided that the Judge should go back to Wash- -ington today, and I knew that if Tom decided upon going to the Arctic seas, his father must carry his application for a situation on board the vessel. I was very much dispirited. On the one side, I knew that Tom regarded it as his duty to go, and that he would be miserable if a foolish whim on my part kept him from seeking Elisha. Again I feared that I might be biassed by the reproaches that would fall on me if I let him go. – On the other side, I knew that my efforts to think cheerfully of his going some weeks ago, had only succeeded in making my spirits flighty and unequal, and that I was only happy when I thought of his remaining with me, to go with me to the gate of Life when I either receive the new being in my arms, on this side, or pass through to it on the other. No thought of duty performed to Elisha would ever console my dear one if he returned and found me gone, and that I had perhaps not been able to hide how I yearned for his beloved presence. — If my unhappiness at his going could only have affected me only, of course I would have let him go. But God has made a helpless creature so dependent on me, that my grief however unnoticed by others, would be severely felt by it. No one, not even Tom, can share that trust, and I could not betray it, while even now I fancy that I feel the mute appeal to my love, of its moving within me, So I had to tell dear Tom that I did not think I could bear to let him go, proving it by a hysterical fit of sobbing when my darling gave it up. Oh God, thou alone knowest all the goodness my dear husband has shown me. Do Thou bless and reward him for it! How I love him! I know that when Elisha comes back he will say Tom did right. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p090.jpg) Thursday After washing the silver, I sat down to my diary, and sudden- February 1st -ly discovered that I had forgotten an engagement to attend that stupid Infant School Society so I went there, and then called for Tom at his office, and took him to call at the Merchant's Hotel. In the evening Dr & Mrs Elder and Jessie, with Miss & Mrs Thompson and a Dr Ulteo spent the evening with us. And– I– finished– my– C.O.L.L.A.R.!!!!!!! I told Tom of the sensation I had felt for four or five days. I must ask Miss Preston about it. Friday Washed silver, wrote diary, pasted Elisha's papers into the February 2 scrap book, and called to ask after little Bob who is better. Also on Cousin Mary Gray. Was asked to spend the evening at Sarah Butler's, but declined. Tom and I spent it together; he in playing, I in sewing. Saturday Elisha's thirty-fifth birthday. Bitterly raw and windy. Went at February 3. 9 o'clk to Miss Preston's, and continued about the Nervous System. She thinks it rather too soon. Came home and sewed. In the evening put my collar on an under-handkerchief, (By the way it was done so badly that I must do it over again) and edged it with lace. Mother gave me some yards of stuff, and I shall begin working for my baby on Monday. God grant it may wear the clothes we prepare for it. I hear that poor Mary Field's only child is in great danger. ~ Wrote to Maggie Jones. Sunday Cold, clear and windy. Dear Tom walked to church with me. February 4. Dr Morton preached a very good sermon on the two things that require to be convinced — the heart, and the understanding, and how much better the religion of the first was. Coming home met Tom who had walked out in search of me, God bless him. The dinner table was stormy as usual. After my nap wrote diary. Tom and I read one of Arnold's Sermons, and talked the question of Sunday School vs. Church, at Fern Rock. An exceedingly pleasant evening. By the bye, I find this phrase repeated very often in the few last weeks. I suppose it is because Life has grown so "exceedingly pleasant." Monday Very cold, so I sat at home, and sewed, arranged the room, and February 5th had my hair washed before dinner. In the evening we sent off a silver vase filled with bonbons to Mrs Mitchell, and then we both wrote to Tot. Tuesday Very clear, and very cold. Finished five things for my little February 6 one which took me till twelve. Then dressed, and drove out to pay calls leaving Tom at the office. My second call was at Mr Charles Biddle's in S. 7th Street. Here the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p091.jpg) gutter had overflowed, and down went one of the horses, an accident of which I was profoundly unconscious. Supposing that Robert had gone to ring the bell, I began to watch the crowd who were assembling, wondering where they were going. A gentleman opened the carriage door and asked me whether I would not get out. "Oh, no, I thank you." replied I politely. He looked puzzled for a moment, and then asked me if I knew that the horse had fallen. I could not help laughing, and when I got out, I had to wait some time before they set the horse on his legs again. This chilled me so that after paying two more calls, I gave it up and drove after Tom that he might leave a card on this gentleman. Pat brought me a book to read called "My Courtship and its consequences" by Henry Wikoff. I can't make head or tail of it. A mad woman of forty coquets with a mad man of forty, and the great puzzle of the book is whether they are most knaves or fools. In the evening we began Ruskin's Modern Painters. Wednesday This morning we found it snowing when we woke, February 7 and it snowed through the day at a lower temperature than Tom had ever know it to fall. Of course I did not go out to Miss Preston's. Marked the things I had been making, and wrote diary. In the evening Cousin Mary Gray, and a Mrs Reynolds came to tea. Thursday Spent the morning in Bessie's room with Aunt Mary February 8 who was cutting out little night gowns for me. In the evening Mrs Kane read "the Maiden and Married Life of Mary Powell, afterwards Mistress Milton" to us, while I sewed, and Bessie knitted, and Tom pasted. Friday I sewed all the morning, after about half past February 9 ten. Before that wrote part of a letter of advice to Minnie Morris. Heard that Cousin Margaret has mis- -carried. Perhaps it is better for her, and her health may improve. It certainly is better for little Henry. The Judge was depressed this evening so I sat and talked with him — French Commission – Logarithms — Leiper Estate etc. He had a violent coughing spell in the night. Saturday Day bright, walking very disagreeable. Tom and February 10. I went out for a short distance but did not enjoy it much. This has been a cruel storm in the West. I finished the first little night gown, and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p092.jpg) and Tom finished a piece of work which has occupied him some weeks; sorting and arranging for binding old family letters, together with notices he has written, and genealogical memoranda generally. Some of the letters most touching, especially one of a Dr John Lawrence, (who married my great aunt Abigail Kane;) written on the death of his son, Poor Uncle James Kane's, and Aunt Morris' too. Cousin M. better. Sunday Too slippery to go to church. Tom wanted a letter of Millie's February 11 (W. Kane's) that I had. In looking for it, had to turn over heaps of old letters of mine, that made me sad. How sad and strange they will look years hence, if I live reminding me of the times "When old companions, now perchance, Estranged, forgot, or dead, Thronged round us as the autumn leaves We crush beneath our tread." Wrote my diary. I wonder if this will remain to be turned over curiously by the child whose coming I so long for, and who will may be think me coarse, or indelicate for writing down hopes and thoughts better hid in my own heart maybe. My only comfort is, that I write for no eyes but my own, and that my dear Tom and I may sometime or other look back over it and recall the happy life that we are leading now. Oh Heavenly Father, never suffer our love to diminish. Only strengthen and purify it, and make us love Thee, and our fellows more, and not each other less! And oh, Father, lead us to thy feet, whether through sorrow and suffering, or through joy and cheerfulness. Thou knowest which is best to soften our hearts, and oh Father thou knowest that in the time of our sore suffering this summer, I cried Thy will be done; only, O Lord make us Christians! And so I pray now in prosperity. And Lord, I only pray thee to grant us a child, if we may rear it up to be Thy servant, and that we may not let love for it lead us from, but to Thee. Father, Thou who art so boundless in love that Thou hast made me feel that Thou carest even for me, thou knowest all the secrets of my heart, even those that Tom does not. Oh Father help me in this! I don't know what ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p093.jpg) the religion of the dear husband thou gavest me, is. But I know how much more he acts like a Christian than I do, I, who profess to be one. Lord thou dost know, and if I act wrongly in the dark, please show me how I ought to do. And if he is not a Christian, make him one. Father, I am so puzzled about sects, and about the Old Testament, and all those questions. I don't feel as if they were necessary to salvation, but I know that we must believe in Christ. Oh I would be so thankful to know that he does. But if not, I pray Thee, and I know Thou wilt grant it, soon or late, that He may, because Christ said "Whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Lord I believe, help Thou mine unbelief! And Father, oh forgive my sins, I am so conceited, and I see other people's faults so clearly, and I don't see my own faults, and am so uncharitable; so unfitted to be a Christian wife and mother, daughter and sister. Do help me to correct them, and give me a clean heart! And, oh Father, when the time comes teach Tom and me how to perform our duty to the sacred trust Thou committest to our care. And in the mean time, make us see what we ought to do, and do it, for our dear families, and our fellow-beings. Bless Papa, and let not the care of other things choke the good seed; and unite him in real love to Cousin Margaret, and make them happy. Lord, Thou art trying dear Charlotte and Walter very hard, oh strengthen them to bear it. Oh, I wish they were happy – but Thou knowest what is best. I thank Thee so for giving Willie this chance to escape the awful fate, which seemed to await him. Lord, I feel as if I wanted so much to be the instrument to lead dear Harry, and Willie and Helen to the knowledge of, and trust in our Saviour. It seems now as if I could do nothing but pray with dear Mamma for them. Do make them Christians. And enable Cousin Margaret to bring up her children so too. And help dear Bessie Kane to fight the good faith. And bring Elisha, and Pat, and Johnny all to thy feet. Bless their father and mother, – and all widows and orphans, and all who are suffering in the world. Dear Christ pray for us. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p094.jpg) Monday Wrote to Willie, and sewed. Took a little slippery disagree- February 12 -able walk. Read "Andromaque" today, and "Phidre" on Saturday. Had a note from Nelly, begging me to send her a Valentine. Cousin Margaret is better. Dear Cousin Becky dined with us, and after dinner her carriage came, and Bess and I drove over to Hamilton Village. We had a lovely sunset, just a rift of orange light breaking through a leaden sky, and throwing a strange faint tinge over the snowy land, and frozen river, while the heavy wreaths of smoke from the factories on the hither side curled up through the still air. Bessie took tea at the Dunlaps, but Becky staid with us, and we had a pleasant evening. Dr Atlee or Atley, called, and entertained us with a description of his visit to Lagrainge the old Lafayette château. Lafayette's grandson was there, and told him that he was the first American visitor he had ever seen. Tuesday Went to Vogel's and bought some collars etc, for evening February 13. work. Returned, took out Tom and called at Mrs Dunlap's. We went to Front and Willow streets intending to ride in the cars of the North Pennsylvania our road. But found them not running on account of the snows. Read Racine's "Thebaïde" and two articles in the Westminster, one an absurd, tradyish flattery of Prince Albert's race, by Carlyle, entitled the "Prinzenraub." the other, "The Ballads of the present day" or something of that kind. Bell Thompson here all W the evening. Wednesday My poor bird very sick in the night. No letters February 14 from home. Wrote to Tot, and wrote diary, and learned one of the ballads from that article in the Westminster. I copy it on the next page. "Soggarth Aroon" means "Priest dear," and was written by John Banim in 1798, in reply to the taunt that an ignorant peasantry, enslaved by their priests, were led blindly into rebellion. As it rained so hard, I sent for "Cranford" a book Bessie wanted to hear, to make it a present to her. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p095.jpg) Soggarth Aroon. "Am I the slave they say, "Soggart Aroon? "Since you did lead the way, "Soggarth Aroon. "Their slave no more to be, "While they would work with me "Ould Ireland's slavery, "Soggarth Aroon?" "Why not her poorest man, "Soggarth Aroon, "Try and do all he can, "Soggarth Aroon, "Of his own heart and will, "Her commands to fullfill, "Side by side with you still, "Soggarth Aroon? "Loyal and brave to you, "Soggarth Aroon, "Yet be no slave to you, "Soggarth Aroon. "Nor out of fear to you, "Stand up so near to you— "Och! out of fear to you, "Soggarth Aroon? "Who in the winter night, "Soggarth Aroon, "When the cold blast did bite, "Soggarth Aroon, "Came to my cabin-door, "And on the earthen floor, "Knelt by me sick and poor, "Soggarth Aroon? "Who on the marriage-day, "Soggarth Aroon, "Made the poor cabin gay, "Soggarth Aroon, "And did both laugh and sing, "Making our hearts to ring, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p096.jpg) "At the poor christening, "Soggarth Aroon? "Who as friend only met, "Soggarth Aroon; "Never did flout me yet, "Soggarth Aroon, "And when my heart was dim, "Gave while his eyes did brim, "What I should give to him, "Soggarth Aroon? "Och! you, and only you, "Soggarth Aroon! "And for this I was true to you, "Soggarth Aroon! "In love they'll never shake, "Where for Ould Ireland's sake, "We a true part did take, "Soggarth Aroon." Thursday Don't remember exactly what happened. Only my birdie was February 15 very sick and I was worried about it, and about Cousin Margaret as I had not heard for several days. So Tom tele- -graphed to know how she was. The answer was satisfactory, she was getting on very well. Friday A pleasant day! Mrs Kane was sick, so I stayed with her February 16 till 1/2 past 11. Then went to college to see Miss Preston about coming to me instead of my coming to her, and then went to the Library because I wanted a book for Mrs Kane, and Tom had prom- -ised to meet me there. We looked at a beautifully or rather, a gorgeously, bound volume printed in gold and colours; the Coats of Arms of the Crusaders, I think; and then turned to a vellum manuscript Psalms of David written in 1540, with exquisite little paintings in illustration, presenting a wonder- -ful contrast to the 1855 volume which looked very coarse beside it. Then we went to Pawson & Nicholson's and Mr Pawson showed me all the processes of book-binding. In the evening a party at Mrs Mitchell's, pretty stupid, Saturday Found dear Tom had left all the letters he is collecting February 17 partially sorted on the floor, and Jane in the course of her weekly cleaning, just about to sweep them up. Ran and called Tom to come and clear them away and as he did not want to, we had a little mis- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p097.jpg) -understanding, that is, we both felt a little hurt. Sewed, and took a walk with Tom. Sewed all the evening. Sunday Dear Tom walked to church with me this lovely day February 18 and I am sure we both enjoyed it, though he had a severe cold. The sermon was a poor one, from a stranger too; but the service was delightful. In the evening had a long talk with Bessie, about Marriage etc, and on going upstairs found that dear Tom had cleared away his papers as a surprise for me. Monday In return for Tom's doings of yesterday, I waited till he February 19 went out, and then put our closet in complete order. Then I went out, and paid nine visits; the day being a very invigorating one. Wrote to Willie. In the evening finished the Newcomes. Read a little Physiology, and sewed. Tuesday Tom a little better. Wrote diary. Went to Miss Preston February 20 Friday I have had a bad cold, and have not had incidents <2. occurred?> enough March 9 of interest to make my lazy ladyship write diary. On Monday my darling began going to the office, and I hope God will see fit to give him strength enough to go regularly. I have only seen Miss Preston twice since the 20th. On Wednesday, I started but did not feel quite strong enough to go, so I returned home. The Saturday and Wednesday before, she came to me March 3rd & Feb 28. Feb. 24 I was too sick with cold to see her. Today I go to hear her last lecture of the course at college, if it is fine enough. But I am very sorry that I have been able to attend so little. I ought to have taken 11 Lessons. Twice she put off, but I alas was unable to attend her more than 5 times, making 4 absences on my part. — Went to Miss Preston's and found that her last lecture had been delivered yesterday, but she gave me a most interesting lesson on Arteries and Veins. I had great difficulty in inducing her to take any money, but at last in arranged with her at a dollar a lesson. So I owe her ten, now. Tom intended to devote the evening to me, but Dr Dunglison's sisters came in, and I had to entertain them. I made out a plan for the day through March, for Tom and myself which I hope we can keep. — A delightful note from Willie. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p098.jpg) Saturday Woke up at seven, the morning sunny, but very cold March 10 and windy, dust whirling by in blinding clouds. After breakfast arranged the room, put my drawers in order, and sewed till nearly eleven when I buf- -feted my way to the Female Medical College, where Tom was to meet me. It is its commencement day, as well as that of Johnny's College. He took his degree to-day. Birnbaum, the janitor was standing at the door in his best rusty black suit, and accosted me with "Well Mrs Kane, thee husband's in the Faculty Room. Will thee go there?" I told him I preferred going at once to the Meeting Room where I found nearly all the students, and several ladies and gentlemen chiefly Friends; Lucretia Mott among the number. I was pleased to see a Mrs Murray from Virginia one of the students, with a little four-year old son beside her. And the little woman's smiling pleasure in the notice he attracted, was quite a sufficient evidence that the "unwomanizing" study of med- -icine does not always deprive a woman of a motherly heart, and innocent vanity in her child. I took my seat among the students, next to my pretty Quakeress of last year. She told me quite a number of things about the students of last year. Mrs Heald, she said, the fat midwife-looking woman, has just finished her second course of lectures, yet she has been practising away for eighteen years in Maine, living in a pretty uncivilised part of the country. Minerva. F. Hoes the thin woman in rusty black though she never took her degree is coming into a very good practise in Wisconsin. Another of the students who merely studied to fit herself for a useful life, has just married, and I daresay will find cause to be thankful for knowing something about it Medicine. Brazen-looking Mrs Arnold is still there. Of last years graduates, Minna Elliger is married, and lives in Germantown. Elizabeth Shattuck has her tin up in a nice-looking house in 10th or 11th street above Filbert. She was there today. Mrs Brown lost her husband last summer and is now making a living for her children by practising in Texas. Elizabeth Bates is practising with her father, and growing quite rich, in Western New York. — ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p099.jpg) Presently, in came the corporators Dr Elder and Tom among them, and took their seats opposite to us. During the whole of the performance Dr E. conducted himself like an ill behaved school-girl. Then came Mr Cleveland and the professors, followed by the six graduates who took their seats immediately in front of us. Mrs Cleveland, quite a good-looking blushing young lady, with lilac ribbons in her straw hat, a black silk dress, and black velvet sacque, headed them, and proved to be the honest-faced, short haired, ugly Miss Horton of last year. Then came "Samantha Cyantha Nivison" bare-headed, with her hair Pompadour fashion, dressed in a black satin polka, and lilac silk skirt; and, next to her Mary E Smith dressed just like her. These two leaned on each other Yankee sentimental fashion; but for all that they will I should think, make their way in the world, for they have intelligent, bright faces. Next sat Mrs Thomas wife of one of the professors, dressed in black silk, and looking like a lady. She has one of those delicate clean looking skins and her soft brown hair was curled, and taken back like Nannie Dunlap's. It curled in pretty soft ringlets like a little child's. Then there was a Mrs Varney in lilac silk; and I don't remember her face, and last, Mrs Phila. O. Wilmarth in spectacles, determination, and a straw bonnet. The performances weren't very interesting. A prayer from Mr Cleveland in his eternal wadded coat, the presentation of the diplomas by him, in a Latin speech every letter of which was accented strongly, but did not enable me to understand him as well as if he had said it in decent English. To be sure his accent was English enough, but to compensate for that, Professor Kerr delivered a German-pronounced English Valedictory which was "not new, might be true, but did not much signify." Then we rose and dispersed, Mrs Mott speaking quite cordially to me, which I cannot but feel a very great honor, though Mother would turn up her nose at a Hicksite Quaker, I fear. After this Tom and I walked to a confectioner's where he gave me lunch, then to the shoemaker's, and then to the Hospital lodge, where we went last year to look at the birds. I peeped into the inner room to see the beautiful cockatoo, but only saw a blue and yellow ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p100.jpg) macaw biting the back of the chair on which it was perched. Its master spoke, Quit that! Whereupon it immediately turned its back to us, and then sidled round with a perfectly made up expression of indignant Pecksniffian virtue. Meanwhile the cockatoo was watching us from a sort of dresser at the side of the room, its beautiful white feathers ruffled, and trembling all over. Tom asked if it was sick or cold. No, but the other was a new bird, and the poor cockatoo was making himself sick with jealousy, and was now shaking all over with suppressed indignation. Tom next took me through the Hospital grounds, and then through the lofty upper and lower halls of the main building. It was exquisitely clean, and very pretty in its old fashioned state, I think. Then we took an omnibus to M Kenzie's and walked through his green houses all full of exquisite Camellia's. Then we walked to Gullas's and walked through his, where we found plenty of roses, etc. Tom bought me a beautiful present, 4 hyacinths, a heliotrope, a mignonnette, two splendid rose trees, and a fine wall flower (How sweet it smells, now!) and a little plant of which I don't know the name, and a Sweet Alyssum. Then we walked home. In the evening Tom talked to his father while I read to his mother, and then we went upstairs, and he read Strain's journey across Darien Isthmus to me while I sewed. Altogether I had a most delightful day. Sunday And a most delightful night too, for I slept well and March 11 had a most pleasant dream about my own darling little baby. I thought I was enjoying myself at school always with the consciousness warm about my heart of the beautiful dark-eyed little creature in the nursery at home, and that Tom came with her to meet me as I came home. Poor Tom! He was up with birdie, who was sick and he caught a sore-throat, and has such a head- -ache that he is forced to go to bed. We read a sermon of Arnold's and some of Keble, and Herbert's poetry, and I wrote diary. Now I am going to read my Bible beside my dear one. — The rest of Sunday passed away, dull enough. I can't bear Tom to be sick, dear darling that he is! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p101.jpg) Monday March 12. I found this wee notice of an action of my dear Tom's of which I am proud, and paste it in here for safety. I was very busy this morning, sorting the shelves in the bookcase, fam- -iliarly known as the "office." Our room being pretty full, we dignify various holes and corners, by important names; for instance, one shelf of the bookcase holds our towels, pillow- -slips etc, and is called the "Linen Closet." Two shelves constitutre the "Office," and two more the "Library," with the aid of the recess under a shelf in one side of the double window which supports a "Conservatory" of some two dozen plants. The "wine cellar" is a corner by the bookcase, containing a few half empty bottles, and the "wood "room" a big packing box full of wood for our fire. The recess under the other window shelf is filled with letters and papers of importance, in a tea-box, an old fashioned small trunk, and a little rough wooden box. In front of the window stands a marble vase, a tall jessamine, and a nest of black-japanned tables, These drawn out, with the fireboard ingeniously balanced upon them, have served as a writing table to a boy whom Tom has employed in writing for him this winter. Next the window is a tall old marqueterie bureau, on the top of which are an enormous desk of Elisha's, my jewel box, Tom's Colt's Revolver box, and a box of French prunes. On either side are, my wash-stand, [newspaper article in the left column] March 10. 1855 Evening Bulletin CITY BULLETIN. COMMENCEMENT OF THE JEFFERSON MEDICAL COLLEGE.—The Annual Commencement of the Jefferson Medical College took place at noon, to-day at the Musi- cal Fund Hall. Long before the hour fixed for the com- mencement of the exercises the saloon was filled with a fashionable audience of ladies and gentlemen, and at twelve o'clock standing room could not be obtained. The graduating class was, as usual, very large. The degrees were conferred by Judge King, President of the Institu- tion. The valedictory address was delivered by Professor Pancoast. The usual prayers were offered at the open- ing and closing of the exercises, and a find band of music was in attendance. The following is a list of the Graduates : Allen M, Pa Gwin R D, Tenn Ogburn J F, Va Allen T J, Tenn Hagenbuch W A, O Onl J G, Pa Anawalt J W, Pa Ha[-] G W, Ill Osgood W, Pa Anthony Wm, Pa Hall R F, Ga Overton W S, Va Asch M J, Pa Hamilton J W, Pa Park W H, Ohio Ashercraft J H, Pa Hamilton S N, Va Patton T, Ohio Banner C L, N C Hanly M A, Pa Pyazant, E N, N S Barham R G, Va Harding P H, Mo Peeples P W, Miss Barr R R, N C Hardwick J R, Ga Pinkard H M, Va Barr W F, Va Harris W H, Pa Pinson W S, S C Bass R E, Va Harriss S G, Va Platsted E [-], N H Bartolette T M,N J Harvey W C, (M Plummer G H, Ia Beeler M W, Miss D), Mo Pope C M, Ga Bell E R, Ohio Haslett J D S, Pa Pope W, Ala Bell W D, Texas Hebble J, Ohio Price R A, Va Bennett E, N J Hoddens W I, Ky Quinn J H, Ohio Besselleu W F,S C Herbst W S, Jr, Pa Ramsay W C, N C Beveridge J L, Ga Hill J, S C Ramsey W P, Pa Blackford B, Jr, Va Hinchman B, (M Ransberry J Jr, Pa Boies J S, Del D), Pa Ratliff C C, Miss Boswell L A, Va Hitt W M, Ind Rawls E H, Ga Braford P S, Ala Holman H W, Va Reeve J T (MD) NY Brandt E B, Pa Hopkins B C, Del Reese C E, Ala Breed W M, Pa Hopkins B F, Va Riley J G, Ga Breitling J, Ala Hoskins W, Va Ringwalt S, Pa Brown B, (M D), Houston J, Pa Rogers J H, NY Md Hudson W M, Ct Rowland W A, Ga Brown M L, N C Hume Q R, Va Rucker W P, Va Brubaker J C, Pa Hunt D G, Ga Runyon T H, Ky Bryan C, Pa Hunt W H, Ky Russell L, Ia Buchanan GW,MoHunter S B, Mo Rutledge J I, Md Buckwell E G, O Ingram S L, Va Sarver W, Pa Buffington J F, Md Irvin G, Pa Scott D S, Ark Buffington J N, Va Irvin W, Pa Scott C H, Miss Butler A B, Ohio Jackson J S, Va Selman D, Miss Cahall L M, Del Jennings R B, Va Shepherd J B, Va Callaghan A, Mo Jornigan C H, Ala Sherrod J I, Tenn Campbell W M,NC Johnston J, Pa Shreve J R, N J Cato J F, Ga Jones D T, Md Simmons W A, N C Chew H B, Jr, Md Jones J Y, Va Simms H C (M D) Chrisman, B, Va Jones, J A, Va D C Clark H, Va Jones R A, Ala Sims J B, Ky Clark J M, Mass Jones W W, Ga Smith C M, N Y Cole J P, N J Kane J K Jr, Pa Smith H H, N H Comfort W A,C W Kay I F, Pa Smith J F, Miss Cowan G, Ky Kennedy M, Pa Spears A K, Ky Cowell J G, Mass King J F, D C Spencer C C, Ohio Craven E R, Pa Kuhn L D B (M D) Sproul S M, Mo Crothers R W, Ill Pa Stavely W R, Pa Curd J R, Va Leitch J L, Va Stewart D P, Pa Dalton G O, Mass Lewis J E, Va Stewart S F, Pa Davies W B, Va Lewitt Wm, Mich Strachan J B, Va Davis J S, Miss Lindsay A, Pa Strother R C, Va De Barres P,Cuba Logan S, Pa Swift D D, Pa Dean S H, Ga Lowman W G, Pa Tate J M, Va Denise J C, Ohio Lumpkin S P, Ga Thomas D B, N C Dickerson R J, Ala Lynn B W, Ia Thomas R Y H, SC Dickson L A, Tenn McClelland F, Pa Thomas W, Pa Dieffenbacher PL, McCorkle W A, Va Thompson K, Va Illinois McDowoll G M, Ga Todd W C, Pa Dobyns R L H, Va McEwen C, Pa Townsend A K P, Mo Donnelly C H,C W McKinney J W, Ill Turner E J, Va Dreher J G, Pa McLeed J, Ala Turner T, Va Dunham A, N Y McMullin J, Pa Upshaw W T, Tenn Failor B M, Ohio McPherson G E, Pa Vansant J, Va Fant S F, S C McPherson J H, Va Wallace R S, Pa Feay J, Pa Mackey A S, Va Warden J B, Va Finlay C, Cuba Maddox J Z, Ga Washington H W M, Finlayson W H, Madill T F, Pa Va N C Magill T, Pa Weiser J S, Pa Finley C G, S C Maris E, Pa Welch S M, Ky Fischer W E, Prus- Markle J G, Pa Wells S M, Ky sia May J R, Va Whalley J G, Ga Fisler J T, N J Miller J S, Pa White J Z, Va Fleming A, Pa Mills N J, Ky White W T, Miss Flourney D, Va Milton H O, Ala Wilkerson W W, Ala Ford G W, Pa Moody M W, Miss Willcoxon L J, Ga Freas H L, Pa Moore A P, Ark Willett E M, Ky Frederick E J, S C Moore J A, N C Wills G M, Ga Gabby R S, Ohio Morgan J, Pa Winsborough J W, Garnett O V, Ky Morrow W L, Pa Va Garnett T N, Va Moss W, Pa Wolfe D E, Del Graham L J, Ala Murry J Y, Miss Wood S S, N C Gray A R, Pa Myers W H, Ohio Woodson P T, Ga Gray J W, Ala Nash M H, Fla Woodward W W, Mo Groom E J, Pa Newman W H, Ky Worthington T E, Ky Gross F H, Pa Nichol J, N Y Young A H, Tenn Guild J, Jr. Ala Nicholson J C, Tenn Young W P, DC Total 256. We would suggest to whoever has the matter in hand, whether it would not be to the interest of the College and of the Musical Fund Society, to obtain the services of an officer who understands the rules of good breeding, to take charge of the passage in the Hall leading to the platform. The officer who held that post this morning, seemed impressed with the idea that the only way he could display his authority effectually, was by acting like an ill mannered boor. We know of men who are in the habit of filling such posts, who understand how to perform their duty with firmness, and without losing sight of the courtesy and politeness due to others. The individual on duty this morning certainly distinguished himself by a liberal dis- play of bristles. COMMENCEMENT OF THE FEMALE MEDICAL COL- LEGE.—The Fourth Annual Commencement of the Fe- male Medical College, took place at the College build- ing, No. 229 Arch street, this morning. Owing to the unwillingness of the lady graduates to appear before a crowded audience, no public announcement of the Com- mencement was made. The lecture room of the College was nevertheless well filled by a respectable and intelli- gent audience, the great majority of which was composed of ladies. The Degrees were conferred by the President, Prof. Charles D. Cleveland, upon the following named gra- dautes: Miss Emeline Norton Cleveland, N. Y. Miss Samantha S. Nivison, N. Y. Mrs. Phila O. Wilmarth, Mass. Mrs. Eliza L. S. Thomas, Ohio. Miss Mary E. Smith, N. Y. Miss Emily A. Varney, Vt. The valedictory address was delivered by Prof. Mark G. Kerr, M. D. The number of graduates is not in proportion to the number of students who attended lectures during the winter. The average attendance was forty. In several departments the lecturers and demonstrators were female professors. Quite a number of ladies, who have no in- tention of graduating as physicians, have attended lec- tures for the purpose of becoming acquainted with me- dical science. The prospects of the college are very pro- mising. [newspaper clipping in the second column] October 3rd 1850 Pennsylvania Freeman MANLY.—We learn with pleasure that Col. Thomas L. Kane of this city promptly resigned his office of United States Commissioner, on re- ceiving information of the passage of the Fugitive Slave Bill, requiring U. S. Commissioners to aid in the capture and return of fugitive slaves; de- claring his belief that "no honorable man can longer hold the office." The act is worthy of his heart, and will be honored by every man who can appreciate a noble deed. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p102.jpg) a marqueterie stand, and a marqueterie workstand. Opposite this corner of the room stands another bureau, with rolls of engravings and maps filling the corner between it and the wall. Then comes the projection of the chimney, and the small blank spaces on either side of the fire-place, are occupied by, a little round topped marble table, and a square black Chinese table or stool laden with atlases, diaries, account books, and dictionaries, and I have a little low chair standing near it, by the fire. It is my especial corner. Then, on the other side the chimney is the bookcase. The next side of the room contains a wood box – I beg its pardon "the wood room," the bed, and a closet, every inch of which is full. Lastly, Tom's washstand and towel-rack, and a marble topped affair, once a washstand, but now bearing a dozen medicine bottles, a medicine chest, three Pamphlet boxes, my workbox, a pen-stand, an inkbottle and some books; with a table which supports my marqueterie desk; and a chair, complete the furniture of the sides of the room. I forgot to say that under both bureaus, plate glass and engravings are stowed, and that the under part of the late washstand contains our boots and shoes. Under the bed, Tom's cravats, stockings etc find a safe but slightly inconvenient asylum in a trunk tray. The floor of the closet contains, an immense packing box full of silver. It is pushed under the bottom shelf, and the space between is full of hat boxes. On the floor are also a step-ladder and my bonnet-box. On the chimney-piece we have three statuettes, and two vases, and a miscellaneous array of ornaments occupies the top of the bookcase. On the walls are three brackets, adorned with two vases and a little ship; and a birdcage containing two canaries, and a thermometer, and two biscuit angels supporting a shell for holy water, and thirty five pictures. A big arm-chair, stands in front of the fire. Thus we have a place for everything (would that I could say everything was in its place!) save an unlucky chair which has no possible inch of room wall-room to claim, and which generally remains as near as possible to the bed, to look as if it belonged there. It often reminds me of the unfortunate shy people one sees at parties, who attach themselves firmly to a table or fire- -place by way of seeming at ease. Our room is just How different from the accommodations of 38. and poor Tom's sickness has ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p103.jpg) kept him almost constantly in his room, where I, of course have stayed with him, and our attractions joined to the woodfire have made it a constant resort of the family. I'm afraid Tom has found me pretty cross at the little discomforts of being so crowded, yet ah how happy I have been here! Many a time in future years I shall think lovingly of our "three-pair-back." — After this long digression I must return to my diary. I wrote to Will, and mended Tom's clothes all the rest of the morning till I dressed for dinner. Dinner today was a very unpleasant meal. In the evening I read about the "Bourbons in Spain." Yesterday poor Aunt Ann carried off the remainder of baby's little night dresses and petticoats, saying it was a comfort to her to make them, for she could not fix her mind to a book. Her husband died about this time last year. How kind she and Aunt Mary have been about my baby! Dear little pet, I shall be so thankful when it comes! March 13. Tuesday. I wrote a long diary this rainy morning, and sorted letters, which occupied me until about one. Tom was at home today, and yesterday busy about Circuit Court Reports. Sewed the remainder of the morning. Old Dr Janeway spent the evening here, and my dear pet devoted himself to his entertainment, greatly to his mother's delight. We had family worship too, a great pleasure to me. Wednesday The weather still continues dull, and though I went out, Tom did March 14 not. Dr Janeway went away after breakfast, and we had prayers again. He told Tom a variety of interesting things. Among others, Tom told me of Whitfield's preaching here. Dr J- said that when he preached at the foot of St George's flagstaff, on the Fish Market Hill his voice could be heard on the opposite shore of the Delaware. He had heard from her own lips the account of her cataleptic trance, which Tom says is a very celebrated case. I wrote to Papa asking for a copy of the prayers Mamma wrote for his use, as I want them for family worship at Fern Rock. Had a long letter from dear Tot which I answered. Went to call on Aunt Alida who was bitter-sweet. I am getting on famously with my sewing. I am putting our wardrobes in order mending what will mend, rejecting what is past use, and putting under handkerchiefs on my collars, and making new under-sleeves. — Tom received today ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p104.jpg) the things we have ordered from France. Some dozens of wreaths, for the school. A book explaining the operations of the workmen in half a dozen colored prints of trades, and several others on the Salles d'asile. I began one Mlle Carpantier's little Manuel des Salles d'asile, and am very much interested. There are two or three song books also. I shall devote, at least I intend to try to do so, half an hour or so a day to translating some of these things. Then there are medals and chains, a "claquoir" a "diapason in" For a or some letter, and several mathematical figures in bass wood. I hope they will prove useful. Thursday I grieve to find, in looking over my list of books read, how March 15 much trash I have swallowed. It is a capital reproof. I had no idea of it before. — Today is a storm of rain accom- -panied with thunder & lightning. I had a note from Nell which has annoyed me a good deal. She says that Papa has taken his passage for the thirtieth of March. But I hope that is a mistake. I sewed a good deal today, and read some Physiology as well as Mlle Carpantier's book which i will send to Matty Leiper, I think, when I have finished it. Jane's, the housemaid's, brother was here S in the evening and interested me very much by his descriptions of California. Friday Murky and dull as the morning is, Tom has gone to March 16 the office. I hope he will take care of himself. After drying silver, watering plants, putting room in order, sat down to read my Bible, and write my diary. Received a note from Papa agreeing to let me have the prayers on condition of secresy as to their source. Wrote to Nell à propos of their going to Brattleboro. Worked for two hours at what I want to do for Tom. Read Mlle Carpantier's book for an hour. It is the most interesting book on Education I ever read. Tom and I started off after tea to go to a concert. We could get no seats, and then we tried to go to a panorama, but it was shut up, so we returned home pretty weary, but anticipating great pleasure from our drive tomorrow, which we deferred for two weeks so as to be sure to have mild weather. Saturday Woke up to find it raining heavily. No chance of clearing, March 17 I fear, either. At least this rain so tormenting to us, is exceedingly beneficial to the country. Tom was at home all day so I got no chance of working for him. But I translated some French for at least two hours and a half, took a lesson from Miss Preston, a very interesting one, too, and sewed. Bess went to church in the evening, and Mother sat with me, till Tom ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p105.jpg) came down to sing. Sunday A dull day out of doors, but amost happy one. It was Com- March 18 -munion Sunday, and I went to church with Bess and the Judge Tom walked down with me, and in the evening Bess and I had an interesting talk about the world's progress, and Infant baptism, the substance of which I told my darling afterwards. Monday A glorious morning cold and clear. Tom agreed to let me March 19 walk to the office with him, so after reading my Bible, tidying the room, diarising etc I got ready to go. We found the weather so delicious, and so much warmer than we had expected that Tom promised to take me a drive perhaps, if I would go and lie down for an hour, which I did. Then I wrote to Willie, and at last Tom came, and we drove out to Swift's and back. Oh how lovely the country looked. And we heard the blue-birds sing, and I enjoyed myself intensely, but I over fatigued my dearest Tom selfishly letting him drive me far further than his strength ought to have permitted. So that he was too weary even to sleep at night. He told me that we are at last completely free from debt. How nice that is! I hope we can keep free now! Tuesday To Mme Baratet's where I grew so fatigued that I was forced to rest March 20 till it was time to call on Aunt Maria which Bess and I at length happily accomplished. In the evening Mr Wharton called, and stayed till 12. He told me the name of a book in which I can find that story of Is that I could not remember to tell Tom. What a quantity of charming stories I can easily recall to tell my little one when it grows old enough! Wednesday Tom had to visit Mr Ingersoll early in the morning March 21 and I occupied myself in tidying the room, writing to Cousin Margaret etc, and then started to go down to Brown's for some Otto of Roses to perfume salad oil with, for Tom's hair. Just at the door I met him. He had stopped to see whether I could not walk with him. So I went down as far as his office with him, and it was very pleasant. Aunt Maria called and paid a long visit. Mother, father and I saw her. It was pleasant to me to feel as I did, for they seemed to feel as a if I were a daughter of theirs. I translated for about an hour. My darling was very pleased with my new dress. Read all the evening. Thursday Oh, I am so disappointed! Dr Hays will not let Bessie go March 22 to the Water Care with Tot. I hope Tot will go at any rate, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p106.jpg) though it will be very dull without Bessie. Walked to the office with Tom, put room in order, watered plants, read my Bible, and began writing to Tot. The other day I learned the following lines for Tom. As I have no printed copy I will write them down lest I forget them "Knowst thou the land where citron-apples bloom, And oranges, like gold in leafy gloom? A gentle wind from deep blue heaven blows The myrtle thick, and high the laurel grows. Knowest thou it then? 'Tis there, 'tis there, O my true loved one, thou with me must go. Knowest thou the house, the porch with pillars tall, The rooms do glitter, glitters bright the hall, And marble statues stand and look each one "What's this, poor child, to thee they've done?" Knowest thou it then? 'Tis there, 'tis there O my protector, thou with me must go. Knowest thou the hill, the bridge that hangs on cloud, The mules in mist grope o'er the torrent loud. In caves lie coiled the dragon's ancient brood, The crag leaps down, and over it the flood, Knowest thou it then? 'Tis there, 'tis there Our way runs, O my father, wilt thou go?" Carlyle's Translation of Mignon's song Tom brought me home $62,00: the first office receipts since we have been out of debt. My eyes hurt me a little, so instead of reading, I devoted my time to entirely re-arranging, and tying together ready for binding a series of letters, first between Tom and Papa, beginning in Nov. 1851; then between Tom, Papa and myself during our engagement, then letters from all my family from the day after our marriage till Dec. 30. 1853, and all the letters that have passed between Tom and me in our short separations since our marriage. I am so sorry that I didn't keep my letters from home in '54. When we cleaned house in the summer I destroyed them because Tom was sick and I had no time to arrange them, and after that I had no heart to collect them. Besides my letters I have "Walter and Mary Dennistoun, our Antietam visit, and a pencil diary of the first six months of our marriage. These I thought of copying out uniform with the greater number of letters and having them bound as a wedding gift to Tom, this second anniversary of our marriage. My Letter book will hold all my home letters now, and this diary ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p107.jpg) begins with 1854. So now, my house is set in order, in that respect, and if I die this summer, and my baby lives, it may perhaps grow up to feel an interest in reading all that it can find telling it how its mother and father first fell in love, and what a happy life they led together. Dear Tom! If I die, he will feel more pain than pleasure in looking over them. Friday After washing silver and so on walked to the office with March 23 Tom, and got a book "La Bretagne Ancienne et Moderne" from the Library, and did a couple of errands for Bess and her mother. Then went to the dressmaker's, and thence to the Mitchell's to pay a duty visit, and also to get "O would I were where Helen lies" to learn for Tom. Wrote diary, and tidied room. This occupied me till dinner time. In the evening I read parts of "La Bretagne" to Bessie. I had a letter from dear Papa, and a package enclosing two manuscripts books of prayer written by Mamma and himself. Saturday I was very busy, and did not go out at all, being occupied March 24 in helping to prepare the rooms for the Wistar party, and my own for the reception of Lizzie Mitchell who spent the evening with us. My room looked really very pretty. Lizzie read the new number of the Newcomes aloud, and we had a very pleasant evening. The Judge's party went off very well. He is exceedingly delighted with Lieut. Hartstine the Commander of the new Search Expedition. Sunday A very pleasant day to me though not to dear Tom who March 25 had to go twice to the House of Refuge. I have given up my pew at Dr Morton's because I cannot afford to pay six months rent and only go one month more. So I went to church with the Kanes, and being in the right "frame of mind" was very happy. After dinner talked to Aunt Mary about her workmen's library plan, and read one of the books of prayer through. In the evening had one of the talks I enjoy so, with my boy, and our room looked beautiful with a fine wood fire blazing, and the light flickering on the walls. After the singing we had Pat and the Judge up there. The latter remained till bed-time. Sixteen weeks hence! Monday A clear beautiful day though rather cold. After reading March 26 my Bible, and tidying my room; put down accounts and read Diary. Wrote to Papa, and to Willie. Called on Aunt Alida to tell her how much Tom was obliged to her for helping him to a minister yesterday. Then took the omnibus to Pat's office, his mother having asked me deliver a message there. Then took ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p108.jpg) the omnibus up to Becky Patterson's where I sat some time. Then I called on Mrs Holmes whom I found still sick in bed, so I sat about an hour with her, and then walked home. At the door I was overtaken by Tom, to whom I gave a full account of all my doings, and sat down to write diary. They deferred dinner for an hour to-day, unknown to me, and as it is now the proper dinner hour, I am ravenous, and very cross. If there were any one to be cross to! Tuesday Poor Tom is confined to bed today and is really suffering March 27 very much indeed. Oh, how I wish I could make him well! It was so raw and windy today that I did not go out. Busied myself in tidying an "odds and ends" drawer of Mother's, and, I am ashamed to say in reading another novel when not waiting on Tom. Down it must go in my disgraceful list. Wednesday Walked to Becky Patterson's, and found that her poor baby March 28 has another of her attacks of convulsions. Walked home with Cousin Mary Gray, and gratified her very much by telling her that James Taylor's calling his child after her had defeated me in a similar intention. Poor dear Tom still in bed. I wish I had as much patience as he has. It is so sore a trial for a man to be long sick. I had a sweet cordial note from C. Margaret. Thursday Tom is very much better, and I had a pleasant March 29. letter from dear Tot. After washing silver, tidying room, etc, wrote to Cousin Margaret. Paid three calls today, and in the course of them found myself at the Exchange, whence I took omnibus to Chesnut & Sixteenth Streets, to the dressmakers milliner's and then walked home, making about 20 squares which is a pretty long walk for a me. It did me good however, and no harm. Occupied the evening in ciphering for Tom. Friday Started at 10 with Bess. Went to the dressmaker's, and then rode down March 30 to Second Street where we chose straw bonnets, and then strolled up to look at old Christ Church lying quiet in the sunlight. The rest of the morning we spent in hunting bonnet ribbons. I had a delightfully long letter from Papa, and dear Tom is much better, so I had a very pleasant day. Wrote to Tot in the evening Saturday This was one of those enervating spring days, when walking March 31 becomes more pain than pleasure. Spent an hour with Miss Preston, and then lay down till dinner time. Don't remember what I did in the evening. Oh yes, I do! Robert Scott brought me a beautiful bouquet, and he stopt stayed a long time talking about old Irish with Tom. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p109.jpg) Sunday Went to church with the family, and heard a sermon on the April 1 text_ "Jesus wept." Did not like it at all. Formed a plan of going with Tom to spend the month of May at Florence with Tot. I grounded my arguments on what I knew would be the only plea that could move Tom; the benefit my health and spirits would derive. This though was one object, though far from being the main one which was Tom's health. He might have yielded, but my plan was overthrown by mother's saying I must be back by the middle of May, and as it was quite cool here till then there was no use of our going. Monday Today was so cold and windy that Mother said i must not April 2 walk, so I drove out with Tom who had several business errands to attend to. I forget the evening's occurrences Tuesday I don't remember any of Tuesday's occurrences at all. Nor April 3 — I weighed yesterday 113 lbs. w. 26 [-] 20. o. 36. Wednesday I went to Miss Preston's after a most annoying detention, and quite a scolding from dear Tom for getting flurried. We went to the college so as to be able to get at the models, and finished the growth of the embryo. I was so glad to see what a pretty little creature it is at four months, and mine is six! Miss Preston said enough to convince me that dear Tom will be rewarded for his goodness to me, in the strength of mind and body of his dear wee baby. And my happiness all this time will act upon it! God bless it, and teach us to be good parents! Thursday I ought to have gone to the Infant School meeting today, April 5. especially as I intended to resign, but it rained too hard. It is well I had such delightful weather to exercise in, yesterday. Put my room in order, arranged papers etc, and sewed. In the evening we had quite a party. I hated to go down but thought it best, and every one said I looked very well indeed. Wrote to Tot. Friday The morning is lovely, and I am going out with Bessie. On April 6 Tuesday I now remember that I went out as far as the new North Penn R,R. goes. — We took the omnibus to Hamilton Village where we visited Mary Field and had a delicious walk. In the evening sewed and read to the Judge. Saturday Bessie, Tom, Mother, and I, drove out to Fern Rock and spent a April 7 couple of hours in wandering through the place. Poor Tom was very disappointed at the smallness of our room. It did look smaller than even I had fancied, but then it was full of the men's things, and had only the brown coat of plaster. In the evening we called upon Mrs Andrews at the Mitchells ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p110.jpg) Sunday Easter Sunday. In the morning I learned "Rise heart, thy April 8 Lord is risen" and we read a capital sermon of Arnold's Then to Mr Shield's where I heard a most forlorn sermon. Tom and I took a little walk before tea. He was very much depressed about his want of strength. Oh, my God, watch over us this summer, and if Thou seest fit, renew his strength and mine! Nevertheless not my will, but Thine be done! — Tom and I were talking about the furniture of our u room. I shall reject all superfl^ous furniture, and take in only such things as are absolutely necessary. As soon as my dear little baby needs them, I must have a plain piece of furniture with a cupboard underneath, whose top may serve as a table; and a little wicker chair for it. Tom and I must make up our minds not to have the sort of bed and sitting room, we have always had, and just to keep out of the nursery as much as possible, I propose arranging the furni- -ture as follows— 1 Side of the room. Window with a chair, marqueterie bureau (la vache) window with a chair. In the corner chinese washstand. 2 Side of the room Chinese stool for baby basket. Fire place. Crib. 3 Window Bed. Window with table in. 4. Tall marqueterie bureau between closet doors, ditto washstand. Little bath under the bed, Easy chair in the centre of the room. I think it will be better to avoid having any more furniture in the room till the nurse goes. I must therefore put elsewhere, the big carved arm chair, the little carved chair, the iron table and the marble vase, and all my poor books. Where, I don't know. Monday The body of a murdered woman was discovered at half past April 9 ten yesterday either in our woods or very near. I suppose we shall soon hear all the particulars. It was very dull and rainy in the morning. I sat at home, read, wrote, and sewed and read aloud to the Judge. After dinner we went over to Mr Peale's and saw a pretty assemblage of children enjoying tricks of legerdemain and ventriloquism. Then Bess Tom & I went up to Burns' and took an ice cream there. Saw a glorious sunset as we returned home. Miss Peale spent the evening here. Tuesday Watered plants, wrote to Tos. wrote diary, washed silver, and April 10. read my chapter. These are my morning occupation and when I don't put it in, I must remember that I have done them. Besides this on Mondays I write to dear Willie. Helped Bessie sort letters. Talked or rather listened to the Judge for two hours and then read to him till Tom came home. After tea Tom Bess and I went to hear a Lecture on Music from ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p111.jpg) a Professor Crouch illustrated with singing by his wife & himself. Only about thirty people in the room. Wednesday Bess and I went to the school this morning where Tom April 11 met us and walked home with us. This occupied our morning In the evening read to, and talked with the Judge. Thursday Made an appointment to pay my respects to James Taylor's baby April 12 but Mother, my companion that on was to have been, was too sick from imprudently going out before breakfast. She commissioned me to buy it a fifty cent mug in Walnut Street, but I bought a $2.00 one at Tyndale's which I shall give her instead. She need not know. So walked with Tom to the corner of Seventh and Chesnut, and then left my laces to be done up in Eighth below Walnut. Walked home, rested for half an hour, then walked up with Aunt Mary to Cousin Mary Gray's. She pestered me to go to the Orphan's Fair which I promised. Called on Becky, found her better, and had a romp with little Bessie. Asked her about clothes, she was very kind and cordial, said she would make my blanket, and offered to trim my caps. She forced upon me a little frock, apron, and a pretty flannel petticoat. Stopped on my return, at the fair. Bought my ticket, a pair of socks, and set down my name in a raffle for a little sacque. My dear little baby, what pleasure it is to think of you & prepare for your coming! Wrote to Willie, as his birthday is near and I wanted him to have a letter from me, and a little diary I have for him. I also wrote to Cousin Margaret. I went to bed early as I had a bad cough and cold. Friday Tom made me stay in bed to breakfast as I had such a cough, April 13 but I got up immediately after, saw a lady who called on business, and then went out with Mother, and shopped. We took an omnibus and went up to see James Taylor's baby. My heart warmed to the poor little thing though Mother thought it very ugly. Oh my dear baby what a comfort you will be to us all if God gives you to us! Came home, tidied my room, and wrote diary. I had a capital note from Papa. In the evening sewed and wrote ciphered for Tom. Saturday Read my Bible, put my room in order, wrote diary, and put away April 14 all my winter silks. Walked down with Tom, and on my return bought some flannel, a sacque and a frock and some socks for our baby. Tom came home very tired, and when I showed him the little socks, he was very much touched. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p112.jpg) In the evening ciphered for Tom. He is writing editorials to incline public opinion in favour of Infant Schools. Sunday Yesterday was my dear Willie's fourteenth birthday. God April 15. grant him health of mind and body! Today is very rainy, and so I cannot get to church. Tom was unwell at night, and I am very worried about him. Oh merciful Father, take care of him and if it be possible consistently with thy will, make him well and strong this summer. For Christ's sake, Amen! Monday Made arrangements for having baby's frocks made at the Depository, April 16 and bought edging to a ruinous amount. Met Tom and we visited the Colored and White Schools of the Infant School Society. This occu- -pied my morning. After my nap I found the evening so lovely that I walked to Aunt Alida's. I offered to give her my bird, as my time henceforward will I hope be occupied with a dearer pet. In the evening mended Tom's clothes and cyphered. If tomorrow is fine, we are to go after the school Celebration to take a drive. Tuesday Went down with Bess to be present at the School Examination, where April 17 we met Tom. Walked home with him, and we had a delightful drive. A rain cloud coming up, we sheltered in our room at Fern Rock till the shower was over, and as Tom felt much dis- -pirited at the smallness of the room I made him measure it. He found it rather larger than he had supposed, so he cheered up a little. In the evening, Tom went to poor Mr Crouch's Concert, another excruciating failure. When we went up to our room Tom sat on my knee, and we had a merry conversation looking forward to baby's coming. At last Tom said we never should get to bed if he stayed there any longer. So I kissed him and when he went away I could not help thanking God for the pleasant day I had enjoyed. I undressed and went to bed, when I was startled by a sound like a fall, and Johnny's voice raised in contention – with Pat, as I supposed. A minute after, Tom came in and I begged him to see what was the matter. He assured me it was nothing, Pat was not up there at all etc. So I lay down. Presently there was a furious rush at our door and Johnny began abusing Tom. I was so frightened that I began to cry — oh, there's no use talking about it. but were I not expecting Tot, I think I should get Tom to take me to stay at Aunt Mary's. I want to live in love and peace with every one, so that my dear baby may have a quiet loving temper, but I live in constant fear of Johnny's temper leading him to hurt Tom; and I am sure that this cannot but have some ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p113.jpg) unfavorable influence on baby. I do try to like Johnny as much as I can, but I am so much afraid of him that I can't help looking forward to his going away with eagerness. I know this is wrong and wicked, and I try to feel differently, and I pray God to make me not dislike him, but only be sorry for him. God bless my own dear Tom, and oh dear Christ, in thy love and tenderness have compassion on him and make him a Christian. He is so good, and if he only knew the Saviour of Mankind as his he would be so happy. Oh Father, if thou seest fit to send ill health, or poverty, or loss of friends or even of our child, I will kiss the rod, so it bring him to Thy feet. Merciful Father, have mercy on him! Wednesday I forgot to say that I wrote a nice long letter to Maggie April 18 Jones last night, so I owe no letters to any one. Having several things to do, I thought I would walk down with Tom, and see whether a letter from home had come for me. Tom left me at the corner of Fifth street bidding me walk no further than Bailey's and there wait for him. After walking up and down till every one stared at me, and till I was so tired that I could have cried. So I concluded that Tom had forgotten me and that even if he remembered me at last & came to look for me he would soon conclude I had gone home, and that I ought not to delay going home, and so risk my baby's life for the sake of sparing him a momentary uncertainty. I hope he did forget me, for I would not have him uneasy for the world. I took an omnibus home, and after resting about an hour I thought I would go out to pay one of the bills I had to pay. But after walking one square I found myself so weary that I turned round & came home I had to rest ever since till now. Poor Tom came home utterly worn out and dreadfully depressed in spirit. He had forgotten me, and made a mistake in his accounts. I could not cheer him all day long. We called at the Wetherill's in the evening, and saw the beautiful "occultation of Venus" as we went along. We thought of poor Elisha, who if alive was certainly looking at this very sight. Thursday Tom was depressed this morning, and I hated to let him April 19 go to the office. After writing my diary sewing etc I drove with Mrs Kane to Fern Rock where I collected a quantity of wild flowers. In the evening Bess Tom and I went to Tompkin's ice cream place. It was very warm today the thermometer at 80 deg. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p114.jpg) Friday 20 My dear Tot came today. I spent the morning sitting with poor Cousin Mary Gray who is pretty sick, and then drove down to meet Tot with my dearest Tom. Tot and Helen too, are going to England, and cannot return at the soonest before September. I ought to rejoice, and instead I feel very sorry to miss them all — If I should never see them again! I was very glad to see dear dear Tot, and think of hearing all the home news. We had dinner company which kept me from talking with her. Tomorrow I hope to see more of her. Saturday The second anniversary of my wedding-day. My April 21 God I am very thankful to Thee. Help me to do right this year, and watch over my dear Tom! We had resolved for a year to drive together this day but Mother wanted Tom to take Bessie and Charlotte to Mrs Rush's. So I thought it better that we should give up our own pleasure till Monday. I propose going to see dear Becky who is so sick and ill poor thing. Cousin Margaret gave me two beautiful frock waists for baby, and I must write and thank her. — I wrote to C. M. and when I went down with [-] my letter I found that they had changed their minds, and we were to go to Fern Rock. By the time I was dressed, the carriage was at the door. Poor Tot had a sick headache which how- -ever grew much better as we went on, and Tom did not feel well, and was depressed. So that Bess and I were the only ones who felt well. I was in high spirits, first because it was my wedding day, next, because it was to me a great frolic, and third, because there was a delicious breeze and the country looked lovely. But Tom said he hoped never to have to go there again till the place was ready for us, and Tot looked pale and so I felt that I had been very selfish. When I came to dinner I found a long letter from Papa, on my plate, written in so sweet a tone dear fellow, and enclosing a hundred dollars for me to purchase for "her grandchild" the things Mamma would have bought, that it almost made me cry. I gave it to Tom to read, but though he thought it written in a kind manner he evidently thought that Papa fancied us poor, and he was hurt and wanted me to send it back. I was very very distressed, for I understood Papa's feeling, and knew how hurt he would be. — In the evening helped Mother ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p115.jpg) with her accounts. I prayed to God to help me to do right but I felt very unhappy. I wish I had forgotten myself and my feelings, and only tried to make the day pass pleasantly to the rest. I felt so much better when I succeeded in doing it for a time. But it was a very sorrowful wedding day. Sunday My dearest Tot, and I, went to Dr Morton's church April 22 together, where we heard a capital sermon as his, always seem to me, and then Tot and I walked home together and had a comforting delightful talk. At dinner there was a discussion of Mr Shield's sermon, which I am glad I missed. I should not have liked it at all. After our afternoon nap, Tom and I took a long stroll through the sweet spring evening air, and stopped at Cousin Mary Gray's to see how she is. We found her better. As I must answer dear Papa's letter today tomorrow I thought it best to talk to Tom, as the discussion of the subject must come sooner or later. Dear Tom was sorry I was worried, and tried to comfort me. He said I need not send the money back, but write and thank Papa as I would have done if I had not consulted him, and then we could send him either the children's pictures or a pony for the little ones, or a piano for Tot, and then he would not feel badly about it. I suppose that is best, but I am afraid I cannot write to Papa as I would have done, for I should have thanked him and told him that I would delight in arraying my little treasure in things that he and I both felt were given as from dear Mamma. I prayed to God to help me to feel rightly, and tried to look at it from Tom's point of view, but I can't feel a bit of repugnance to taking anything from Papa. Tom said, I surely did not need the money; did not he give me as much as ever I wanted, and I surely had not wished in vain for anything for baby. Dear Tom! He does not understand my point of view, any better than I under- -stand his. I have been sorry I spent so much on baby's frocks, and I shall avoid spending any more than I can help either on it or on myself, not because I ever dreamed of his grudging me anything, God bless him, I know he would coin his life blood into money if I wanted it, but because, with our other expenses, I don't think our income justifies me in spending what ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p116.jpg) I do. I can't tell him this because he is sick, and troubled about money matters now, but I write it down because if I die and he looks over this I'd like him to understand all my foolishnesses. I have, I confess, a great wish to dress my baby beautifully, and I think I ought not to do more than dress it plainly and clean- -ly, and the twelve dollars I paid for trimmings lies on my conscience. I thought it would be very nice to have this for then I should not feel that I was taking the money away from wiser objects if I did array my pet in the "goodly Babylonish raiment" dear Papa spoke of, and my conscience would be lightened of the twelve dollars. I wonder if I have not hit the selfishness which lay at the root of my bother and trouble. I know I was not so bad as to have that for the real reason, but I daresay the devil put it there to trouble my peace, nicely hidden under the better feelings. I daresay it is so, for I prayed to God to make me feel rightly, and I know He would grant my prayer, and since I looked into my heart and found this selfishness out, I feel much better, and I trust the bitterness is gone, and I can write to dear Papa tomorrow, and not distress my darling Tom with a sorrowful face. Oh, dear Christ, help me to tear this hateful selfish- -ness out of my heart, and to love Thee and my fellow creatures and forget myself! Amen! — We were called down to the Sunday singing which lasted till bed-time. Monday Tom and Tot and I walked down together, and then April 23 Tot and I rode up to Becky Patterson's where I called, & then called for Tot at Cousin Mary Gray's. Then we drove home. I wrote my usual note to Willie, and one to dear Papa. I put away the $100 cheque in an envelope, and I am very thankful that I have no naughty feeling left about it. I spent the whole afternoon in entertaining Martha Carey and her baby. In the evening I finished a little apron and read "Histoire d'une Salle d'Asile" while Tom and Tot and Bess sang. Tuesday Tot and I bought some silk that I required for an afternoon dress. April 24 We called on the Mitchells I am going to ask Tom whether he does not think it would be right to buy something or other with a little of the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p117.jpg) money to represent Papa's gift. When he wrote and felt so kindly about dear baby I'd like it to wear some thing of his giving. I hope that won't hurt my boy's feelings but I don't understand the subject very well. I did ask Tom but he said he thought it right though he did not feel like it. He said – Take some thing of the baby's and say he gave it, but don't break into the cheque. I won't do that though because it isn't so at all. So I shall just drop the subject. I wish dear Papa had not given me so lavish- -ly. Baby might have really worn his gift then, as it will if it lives, wear gifts of a dozen people for whom I don't care a straw compared to Papa. A Dr John Miller and a Mr Talbot called and spent the evening. Today I read through one of Fouqué's sweet pure stories — Thiodolf the Icelander. Wednesday Wrote to invite the Dunlaps to tea tomorrow, and when I April 25 came home found a note of acceptance. Tom brought a wagon at half past eleven, and we were to drive round by the Falls of Schuylkill. But he thought that it would be better to drive to Fern Rock to please his mother where we stayed till half past three, and as I had nothing to do, I found it pretty dull. In the drive there we passed old Rensselaer and I am glad my darling got it over. We had a lovely drive as far as Fern Rock by the old Second Street Road, but it was very hot. Read Histoire d'une Salle d'Asile in the evening, while Tot and Tom played and sang. Thursday Walked down with Tom, and then rode up to Becky April 26 Patterson's and found her looking better. Camphored my furs & put them away. Sewed and read. Our good friends, the Dunlaps, spent the evening with us, and I think that with Tot's aid, they enjoyed themselves very well. Friday A long kind note from Papa, who would evidently be much April 27 pleased if we named our baby after her grandmother. How funny that is! I have written her unconsciously. We spent a pleasant day at Aunt Mary's. As usual however I caught cold. Saturday Wrote to Nell. Bought books for the children to read at April 28 sea, and a baby basket of which I commenced making the lining. Sewed a good deal. Lily Macalester spent the evening here but my cold made me spend the evening in my own room. Dear Tom was very well today. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p118.jpg) Sunday I went to Dr Morton's with Tot and Bessie. The sermon April 29 was not so interesting to me as last Sunday's, but the girls liked it very much. I read some parts of Mrs Stowe's book, the Mayflower, and took a stroll with Tom before tea. After the evening singing, wrote diary. Monday Today rose cold and dull. I therefore did not go out, April 30 and after I had performed my morning duties which included my weekly letter to Willie, I set to work sewing and completed the lining and arranging of my baby basket. I think it looks very pretty, and I saved more than three dollars and a half by making it myself. Commenced Kingsley's "Sir Amyas Leigh" Tom spent the evening at a Mr Hupfeldt's "practisings" and enjoyed it exceedingly, I was so glad, the darling! What a perfect castle-in-the-air of happiness I live, with such a darling husband and a dear little baby coming! Tuesday Only two months and a half before baby comes! May 1 How delightful! Oh my baby, my baby God make me a good mother to you. Tom wrote today to tell Papa that I would name it after Mamma if it is a little girl. If a boy, I mean to name it Willie. I sewed very little and read Sir Amyas Leigh nearly all day, shame on me! In the evening, my dearest, and I, went to the Academy, and were just beginning to enjoy some exquisite pictures when the bell rang, and we had to go. It seems to me that there are more good pictures than usual this year. Hamilton has some exquisite dreamy scenes, and I saw a lovely night-piece with a quiet moon just rising behind the dark shoulder of a mountain, by Lessing. Seabey had two marine views neither of which I liked one but, though Tom admired them hugely. I thought the waves looked like smeerkäse, and one of the pictures, a wreck on the coast of France seemed as if he had squeezed it to make it fit into the frame. There was a picture I liked very much, called "Malaria" only that the boat in it lay on the water, not in it. Tom liked some pictures by an artist named Rothermel on account of their coloring. I saw some beautiful sea views, something like Hamilton's in coloring but the figures were better drawn than his ever are. I think that the artist's name was Schoessole. There was an eclipse of the moon tonight, not half so beautiful as the Occultation of Venus. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p119.jpg) Wednesday I sewed and read in the morning. I also paid two visits. After dinner May 2 I lay down to rest, and when I rose had the unexpected pleasure of seeing dear Walter. His eyes have been paining him so he had left business for a week. He had to sit in a dark corner of the room while Dr Elder, who, with his wife took tea with us, read some passages from a forthcoming book of his, which was delightfully interesting. Thursday Today is the anniversary Widow's May Party but I shall miss May 3 it, as Mrs. Kane thinks the exertion would be rather too much for me. I feel sorry to miss the going there, and returning with my boy, as it would be the third time of so doing since our marriage, and I love to keep anniversaries, but I am not sorry to miss the entertainment itself. I felt very unchristianly this morning be at breakfast about a poor slave woman. I am sorry for it. — I walked down with my dear Tom and rode home. I am afraid our projected expedition to Fern Rock tomorrow will come to naught, as the sky gives warning of an easterly storm. Today Walter visits the Navy Yard with Johnny, and they propose that on Saturday they should start for the Delaware Water Gap, return on Tuesday and carry Totty off. I made a second sheet for baby's crib, and w read the new Newcomes. Took Walter to the Academy. Harry Wharton, Lizzie Mitchell, & Dr Emerson spent the evening with us. Harry Wharton bought me Matthew Arnold's Poems to read. I must try to copy one or two beautiful ones. "The forsaken Merman" Come, dear children, let us away; Down and away below. Now my brothers call from the bay; Now the great winds shorewards blow; Now the salt tides seawards flow; Now the wild white horses play; Champ and chafe and toss in the spray. Children dear, let us away. This way, this way. Call her once before you go. Call once yet. In a voice that she will know: "Margaret! Margaret!" Children voices should be dear (Call once more) to a mother's ear: Children's voices, wild with pain. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p120.jpg) Surely she will come again. Call her once and come away This way, this way. "Mother dear, we cannot stay." The wild white horses foam and fret. Margaret! Margaret! Come, dear children, come away down. Call no more. One last look at the white-wall'd town, And the little grey church on the windy shore. Then come down. She will not come though you call all day. Come away, come away. Children dear, was it yesterday We heard the sweet bells over the bay? In the caverns where we lay, Through the surf and through the swell. The far off sound of a silver bell? Sand-strewn caverns, cool and deep, Where the winds are all asleep; Where the spent lights quiver and gleam; Where the salt weed sways in the stream; Where the sea-beasts ranged all round Feed in the ooze of their pasture-ground; Where the sea-snakes coil and twine, Dry their mail, and bask in the brine; Where great whales come sailing by, Sail and sail, with unshut eye, Round the world forever and aye? When did music come this way? Children dear, was it yesterday? Children dear, was it yesterday (Call yet once) that she went away? Once she sate with you and me, On a red gold throne in the heart of the sea, And the youngest sate on her knee. She comb'd its bright hair, and she tended it well, When down swung the sound of a far-off bell. She sigh'd, she look'd up through the clear green sea. She said; "I must go for my kinsfolk pray In the little grey church on the shore today. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p121.jpg) 'Twill be Easter-time in the world– ah me! And I lose my poor soul, Merman, here with thee." I said: "Go up, dear heart, through the waves. Say thy prayer, and come back to the kind sea-caves." She smil'd, she went up through the surf in the bay. Children dear, was it yesterday? Children dear, were we long alone? "The sea grows stormy, the little ones moan. Long prayers," I said, "in the world they say. Come," I said, and we rose through the surf in the bay. We went up the beach, by the sandy down Where the sea-stocks bloom, to the white-wall'd town. Through the narrow pav'd streets, where all was still, To the little grey church on the windy hill. From the church came a murmur of folk at their prayers. But we stood without in the cold blowing airs. We climb'd on the graves, on the stones, worn with rains And we gaz'd up the aisle through the small leaded panes. She sate by the pillar, we saw her clear: "Margaret, hist! come quick, we are here. Dear heart," I said, "we are long alone. The sea grows stormy, the little ones moan." But, ah, she gave me never a look, For her eyes were seal'd to the holy book. "Loud prays the priest, shut stands the door." Come away, children, call no more. Come away, come down, call no more. Down, down, down. Down to the depths of the sea. She sits at her wheel in the humming town, Singing most joyfully. Hark, what she sings; "O joy, O joy, For the humming street, and the child with its toy For the priest, and the bell, and the holy well, For the wheel where I spun, And the blessed light of the sun." And so she sings her fill, Singing must joyfully Till the shuttle falls from her hand, And the whizzing wheel stands still. She steals to the window, and looks at the sand; And over the sand at the sea; ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p122.jpg) And her eyes are set in a stare; And anon there breaks a sigh And anon there drops a tear, From a sorrow-clouded eye, And a heart sorrow-laden, A long, long sigh. For the cold strange eyes of a little mermaiden, And the gleam of her golden hair. Come away, away children. Come children, come down. The hoarse wind blows colder; Lights shine in the town. She will start from her slumber When gusts shake the door; She will hear the winds howling, Will hear the waves roar. We shall see, while above us The waves roar and whirl, A ceiling of amber, A pavement of pearl. Singing, "Here came a mortal, But faithless was she. And alone dwell for ever The kings of the sea." But, children, at midnight, When soft the winds blow; When clear falls the moonlight; And spring-tides are low; When sweet airs come seaward From hearts starr'd with broom; And high rocks throw mildly, On the blanch'd sands a gloom: Up the still, glistening beaches, Up the creeks we will hie; Over banks of bright sea-weed The ebb-tide leaves dry. We will gaze from the sandhills, At the white, sleeping town; At the church on the hill-side— And then come back down. Singing," There dwells a lov'd one, But cruel is she, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p123.jpg) She left lonely for ever The kings of the sea." There, isn't that charming? I like it so much. There is another beautiful one – Tristram and Iseult – but it is too long. I shall try to learn both. Friday I wrote out this long piece of poetry, and added up my May 4 accounts for last month. Though less than last months we can't afford to live at this rate. Where can I cut it down? Walter and Tom drove out together and dined at the Falls of Schuylkill. They enjoyed it mightily. Oh what a delicious day it was! The most delightful breeze in the world, and a lovely sky overhead. I went out, to do some shopping for baby. Then came home, made a third sheet for my crib while I learned the two first pages of the Merman. I had a nice letter from Willie, talking quite learnedly, or rather what was much better, quite happily about his small farming work. God keep the dear child safe! Papa's usual letter came, thanking us so warmly for naming our baby, if a girl, after Mamma, that I shall keep the letter to show her, if she dislikes her name. After dinner I took my nap, and after tea, Tot and Tom went to hear a Stabat Mater which enchanted the dear girl. I remained with Walter: read aloud to him a little while, and the remainder of the evening was divided between John, Bess, Pat & Dr Elder. I made an oiled silk cover to a chair for Mrs Kane. Saturday I was to have taken Walter to Mrs Rush's and to that intent went out May 5 with Tom and bought a pair of gloves, but on my return found that Bess and Tot thought me too much of a figure of fun to go there. So I let Walter go with Mrs Kane, and Charlotte and I took the omnibus to Fairmount & sat for an hour or so in the summer-house enjoying the delicious breeze. Came home in time for dinner. Sewed another sheet in the morning. Received a letter from dear Willie. Helen. In the afternoon Walter and Bessie went to stay at Aunt Mary's. They will return on Monday Morning. Tom, Tot and I were to see Waugh's Italia, and I persuaded Mother to accompany us. She was very much pleased, though she fell asleep continually. Sunday Ten weeks only before baby comes! May 6 Tot and I went to Dr Morton's. The day passed quietly but very pleasantly. Poor Johnny was away, so there were no quarrels. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p124.jpg) Monday Wrote to Willie, a long letter. Then walked down to Bailey's with Tot and May 7 rode up to Fairmount where we sat some time. Sewed till dinner time. After tea sewed at a little frock, for Mrs Kane, which she intends giving to a certain gardener's child. Dr Da Costa spent the evening with us. Tuesday Finished Histoire d'une Salle d'asile. It rained all the morning, May 8 so I hoped to finish Baby's sheets, but Mother begged me to help her with the little frock she was making, so I made the skirt which took me till near dinnertime. However I finished the fifth sheet. Tot sat with me, but only for a short time. She went to see poor Lizzie. In the afternoon Walter went there, and brought Lizzie back to tea. After tea, I read part of Matthew Arnold's Tristram and Iseult, aloud, and then the rest of them sang. I persuaded Tom to sing, but I was sorry I did, for among others he sang some German drinking songs out of a book Lizzie had sent him, and some tactless remarks they made hurt his feelings, I could see. Dear Tom! How delightful it is to have such great love as he lavishes on me! I wasn't very well tonight, and after falling asleep, I felt some one covering me up so tenderly! I half waked, but was too sleepy to know, or care who did it till there was a soft kiss on my cheek. I knew who it was then, and fell sound asleep with the same sense of safety that a frightened child feels, safe at last in his mother's arms. Oh my darling husband! God make me a faithful wife to you, my dearest! Wednesday Charlotte and Walter left us. I may see Walter again May 9 this summer, if God spares me, but Tot and the rest are fairly separated from me now till autumn. God grant that we may all meet in safety then, and that I may show my little treasure to them. Oh, if I should lose it! But, Father, Thy will, not mine, be done! It rained fitfully all day; but in a clear moment I went out to see Lizzie Mitchell. Finding her father very much in want of books to read, Tom sent him a present of some. I finished Baby's sheets today, and commenced embroidering its little flannel shawl. Every one was away in the afternoon. Pat came in at half past seven, and the others dropped in after- -wards. But I was pretty dull. I finished reading Tristram and Iseult to Bessie, in the morning and read part of the Newcomes to her and Tom in the evening. Mrs Kane came in and began talking about Becky Patterson, and I forgot what was right so far as to hurt Mrs K's feelings. I am very sorry, but perhaps it were best not to apologise, as ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p125.jpg) what I said was true, though unkind, and I could not it. I wonder what I ought to do. Thursday A clear bright day after the storm. Very cold however. I walked May 10 a little way with Tom but not feeling well, soon returned. Sewed and read till one, and then took another little stroll which quite tired me out. Read the Newcomes aloud, and sewed in the evening Friday Slept ill, and woke unrefreshed. Walked a couple of squares May 11 with Tom. I was to have gone driving with him today, but he thought the exertion too much for me. He thinks I will be stronger tomorrow, and that we will go then, but I think that this pleasant breeze will be gone. As to my growing stronger, I fancy I had better just be thankful for having been as strong as I have been, and not expect more drives, and amusements. I hope I shall succeed in being cheerful notwithstanding my weakness, for poor Tom's spirits go down to the lowest point, if I look dull. He hardly slept last night, poor darling! _ I sewed until two o'clock. Then came Tom and took me in an omnibus to the other side of the river and then we took a litte walk on the road that skirts Powelton. And then home to dinner. Sewed & read in the evening. Saturday Today is my nineteenth birthday. May God help me May 12 to spend this year better than my others! I wrote to dear Tot, and read a little, but spent the main part of my time in lying down, as I thought that the clouds might clear away. But they didn't, so we did not go to spend the main day in driving, as we proposed. Instead, we took an omnibus to Fairmount and strolled about there. As my boy's head ached, and the day was very sultry, it was just as well that we should not go. Just before tea, Tom gave me a breast pin and two studs of exquisite Hungarian opal, and dear Bess gave me some things for Baby's basket. I read aloud in the evening. Sunday Mother said I had better not go to church, so I stayed May 13 at home and read and walked with Tom. I did very little and upon the whole wasted my day, I fear. Monday Rose early. Wrote to Tot and Willie, tidied my room, wrote diary May 14 etc. At half past ten Tom came for me. We drove across Market Street Bridge and turned into the road which follows the Schuylkill up beyond Fairmount. Then it turned inland passing Egglesfeld & Lansdowne and then coming down again to the river we saw North – South Laurel Hill. Then ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p126.jpg) the Schuylkill at Falls Village, and left word at a nice Tavern for dinner at 3 o'clock, and drove up the new turn- -pike along the Wissahickon. It was new to both of us, and oh, how beautiful! The sombre evergreen foliage, mixing with the fresh spring green of the other trees, and the red blossoms of the Judas, and the dogwood flowers, made as great a variety of colouring as the autumn woods can boast, with the ad- -ditional pleasure of knowing that it was the beauty of life, not of death. The woods were strown with wild- -flower, stellaria, forget-me-not and blue, yellow, and white violets in the greatest profusion. When we drove back we could not help stopping constantly to look at the lovely wild river beneath us, and to listen to the birds who sang all through the noonday. And in those hill gorges there played the softest breeze all the time. How lovely it was! We returned in time to rest an hour in the inn before dinner, and enjoyed a clean well-cooked meal exceedingly. Then we drove home by the same road we passed over in the morning, and as we passed Lansdowne "treated resolution" to a handful of the forget-me-nots which stud the roadside banks which we denied ourselves in the morning. Thanks to their being taken up by the roots they are now blooming as fair as ever in my room this Tuesday at noon in a saucer-full of moss. It is green though I gathered it twenty six days ago. Our horse was scared by a train rushing past him suddenly, but fortunately I was not. I got nothing but benefit from my delightful birth-day excursion. My dear kind Tom's head ached very much, though. How constantly he suffers, poor darling, and how patient and good he is through all, God bless him! He took his mother out in the evening to pay a visit she was anxious to get through, and then took Bess, who was depressed with heat and the fatigue of the day, to get an ice, so he was thoroughly worn out at bed-time. I forgot to say that we heard the night hawk in the early morning, the first time this year. Tuesday A bright oppressive day. Rode down to the paper May 15. hangers to choose a paper for our room at Fern Rock & walked back. Dear Tom's head still aching. A note today from Nelly. One from Harry yesterday. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p127.jpg) Half of my little frocks came home, and I thought them very pretty. The evening was so warm that I could do nothing but gasp. Wednesday The Judge's sixtieth birthday. Tom and I planned a May 16 nice present for him – his wife's daguerreotype. Tom per- -suaded her to have it taken as a charity to Langenheim the daguerreotypist. I accompanied her there, and found Tom resolved to have mine too. I yielded, because I know that it will be pleasant for my boy to have it, if I die this summer. The Judge was delighted with his present. Aunt Alida, her husband & Mr Leiper dined here. I don't know how I can endure this heat much longer. I really can do nothing. The other day I learned "Requiescat" "Strew on her roses, roses, But never a spray of yew. In quiet she reposes Ah! would that I did too! Her mirth the world required She bathed it in smiles of glee But her heart was tired, tired. And so they let her be. Her life was turning, turning In mazes of heat and sound; But for peace her soul was yearning, And now peace laps her round." Thursday A lovely day. Walked as far as the Depository with Tom where May 17 I paid for my little frocks. I begged him to let me ride to Hamilton Village, and back in an omnibus but he did not think it safe for me but said I might go with his mother to the Asylum, and back, which I did. I talked with one of the old women while Mrs Kane was busy and was very much struck by her cheerful resignation, and the good she seemed to find in everything. In the evening, Papa & C. M. arrived unexpectedly to bid me goodbye. She goes with him. Friday Went with Tom to breakfast at the Lapierre House. Was May 18 delighted with dear little Denny and Duncan. We took Papa and C. M. that beautiful drive up the Wissahickon, and they seemed to enjoy it very much. They dined and spent the evening here. Tom gave the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p128.jpg) children quantities of toys. They all seemed to enjoy themselves this visit. I did not bid them goodbye, intending to go to the boat with them tomorrow. We had a lovely day! Saturday Waked, to find it pouring. How the country must rejoice! May 19 But I could not go to see my people off. Perhaps it is as well, as I hate to say goodbye. My poor Tom was so tired last night, but so kind and affectionate. Sometimes I feel just as if he were my child, and especially then. I sewed, tidied drawers, and finished "Gen. Houston's Life," and "Un Philosophe sous les Toits." Made part of a pair of sleeves in the evening. Sunday Rained till evening. After a lovely sunset Tom and I took May 20 a little walk. In the morning we read one of Arnold's sermons and I read part of Mrs Graham's Life. I had a fit of crying from nervousness today. I really must try to conquer it. They all worried each other at dinner, and when I went upstairs I found my little marble worktable and saucer of moss broken on the floor My little chair was broken on Friday, and it made me superstitious, and the two things upset me. I wrote to Tot at night. Monday Today was spent at Fern Rock. The country looked love- May 21 -ly though I can say nothing for the look of the house. I had a nice letter from Miss Preston. — Tuesday Today was spent at Aunt Mary's We drove over to see May 22 Martha Carey's new house which was very pleasant and cheerful. I hope she will be happy there, for she is a good honest girl. I saw the unfortunate poor creature Tom Taylor today. He is such a dreadful sight! Wednesday Did not do much with myself, for I had to lie down Thursday nearly all Wednesday, and Thursday I sat and read after my morning walk with Tom and a visit to the Mitchells to thank them for some beautiful work they had done for baby. I wrote to Nell on Wednesday. Miss Preston called to see me on Thursday and recom- -mended "Combe on Infancy" to me. Becky P. came to tea, and I had a long physiological talk with her. I made an oiled silk cover for Bessie's work bag in the evening. Friday Wrote a long note to Charlotte as a goodbye. Went to Hen- May 25 -derson's in a vain search for books for John. Tom and I went to the Academy and spent the evening looking at the beautiful pictures and listening to the band at Parkinson's. They played the prayer of Moses in Egypt and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p129.jpg) some of Robert le Diable. Saturday A lovely day, with a sweet breeze blowing. I sewed at John's May 26 things all the morning till one o'clock when I went with Tom in the omnibus to Fairmount. He went on to Laurel Hill, I returned as I came. On my return wrote a long letter to dear Willie in which I endeavored to show him how happy a farmer's life could be, and how well spent. He had written to me in very low spirits, on the subject poor child. — Read "The Englishwoman in Russia" and an article in one of the Reviews on the character of Queen Elizabeth, in the evening. Sunday Another lovely day. We, my darling and I, that is, read May 27 the last of Arnold's Rugby School Sermons which has not been read and re-read twice or thrice. Then we took a quiet airing in Penn Square which I enjoyed very much. The wind ruffled the long grass so beautifully! I put my flacon of otto of roses in John's trunk writing on the paper that enclosed it — "And waft o'er intervening seas Sweet odors from th' Hesperides." Also I sent the three volumes of the Newcomes to Elisha. If they reach him, which God grant, I hope they will interest him as must as I know they would Tom or Pat. I bade Johnny goodbye tonight, as he left at one A.M. God grant he may return successful! Monday Walked down with Tom as far as Fitch and Chestnut Street, then May 28 took an omnibus and rode up to Becky's. There were five people in the omnibus when I entered. Shortly after me came in thirteen Germans, six of them children under five years old. Such a jam! They were so infinitely pleased with themselves too! It was very ludicrous. I found poor Becky looking wretchedly ill. — Met Bess there and returned home with her as far as Lovaire's whence I took an omnibus. Finished the sixth volume of Mme d'Arblay's life. Wrote diary, and sewed. At half past four a wagon came to the door and Tom drove me out by the plank road to Mr Smith's in Shoemaker's lane Ger- -mantown, then by Manheim Street to Laurel Hill, and home by the river road past Lansdowne, which (home I mean) we reached at half past eight. Pretty well for me, I think, when somebody's birthday is only six weeks off! Tuesday My dear Tom left for New York at ten this morning, and May 29 being very much hurried forgot to take his great coat or a night gown either, poor fellow! I put a fishing question to Pat as to whether he could carry them on, but found he was overloaded already. I do hope Tom won't get sick. He will ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p130.jpg) dear Tot off tomorrow, and John the next day. So our families are both dismembered for the summer. When I came home I put my room to rights, read my Bible, wrote my diary, and wrote to Messrs Scott and Co for my Magazines. Then I hunted up the remainder of my darling's stockings and mended those that needed it, and then I finished reading "The Englishwoman in Russia." She deals far too much in hearsay, but I like her description of what she did and saw. It fills up one's vague geography idea of a country which is no idea at all. Then I read some of Combe on Infancy, and went down for my bread and butter. Aunt Alida was there, and exhibited great physiological interest in me, so I waited till she went; lest I should have comments on my way of eating. Poor thing. I wish she had had children herself to soften her heart! Tom must write to her, when baby comes, and tell her that her "son Tom" as she calls him, has a child. The lunch over I dilly-dallied downstairs till it was time to dress for dinner, but oh, I missed my darling so! After dinner I lay down till six o'clock, but my dear Tom occupied my thoughts all the time, and I could have found it in my heart to cry for him, like a baby. When I came downstairs, I found that Bess and her mother were out visiting, so I read Household Words till tea-time. After tea I read aloud to Mother till W. Moss came in, and paid quite a pleasant visit talking very unaffectedly about his grandfather's glass cutting, and shop in Second Street. Then Bess practised while I made up a pair of lace sleeves, and read Household Words. Then Bessie and I had what Mother calls a "clack", and then I went to bed, where I fell fast asleep in a minute and dreamed I was going about Paris with dear Tom. I could not kneel beside him to pray but I did not forget him for all that. He need not fear my loving him less than I did, for it takes the life out of living to be without him. Wednesday My dear people have a lovely day to sail, God grant May 30 them a pleasant voyage! I telegraphed a goodbye to them, and received a goodbye note from Papa. I wrote a note to dear Tom and sent it on by Bessie, who, with Pat, left us this morning. If Pat's business will allow it, he will take her up the Hudson after seeing poor Johnny off. I wish I had been kinder to Johnny! Now he is gone I feel that I have many uncharitable and unsisterly things to reproach my- -self with towards him. — I think I shall go and see ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p131.jpg) Lizzie Mitchell this morning. I was disappointed a little not to receive a "how d'ye do" note from Tom this morning, but now I think of it, he could not have sent one if he would. Dear Tom! I put off going to Lizzie's, and darned and read instead. Mrs Kane was away till half past four and I grew quite alarmed about her. It seems Mr Mc Clure with his customary pro- -crastination put off starting for two hours, and on her return made her miss the cars, & the boat, and after dragging her over his own house put her in an omnibus at Hestonville whence she came home at last. I read aloud to her in the evening, while my breath lasted, but I was pretty soon exhausted. So after talking some time I read to myself and then joined her down stairs where we wrote to our respective husbands. Oh how glad I shall be to see mine! Thursday This day two years ago, Elisha sailed, and today Johnny May 31 goes in search of him. God bring them safely back! Today two years ago Mrs Kane and I were alone, as we now are, and moved out to the Lisle House. How very sick and miserable I was, and how happy I am, and how well and strong considering how soon dear baby is to come! And what an unthankful wretch I am to weary for strength to take longer walks, and to do more, and to pine for my Tom because he is away two days, instead of rejoicing that I have his company so constantly, God bless him. I have just received a note from him written on Tuesday night; tired out and sick I fear. But why did he "talk politics with father" in the cars? It was enough to make him sick poor darling. I sent Joanna to market yesterday to get me flowers to deck his room, but some of them look quite wilted this morning. I was grieving over them when Aunt Mary came in with a basketful of ivy and hawthorn, and wild cherry blossoms, for me, and I was able to replace the withered flowers with fresh ones. So now when my darling comes as I hope he will tonight, his room will look very pretty. — Friday I might have saved my pains yesterday, for he never came. June 1 I stayed up till half-past-ten, and then — went upstairs and cried, like a great baby. But it is so lonely without him, and as he had told me that he would come home then, I feared lest some evil had befallen him, and if he were sick and I unable to come to him! I could not sleep either till ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p132.jpg) "moon broadened on the borders of the dark", and when I rose at my usual time I had a solitary breakfast, Mother having achieved a conquest over Time by breakfasting with Johnny Green at some impossible-to-believe, hour. Yesterday I paid a long morning visit to the poor Mitchells and saw the Doctor looking better than I expected. Miss Amelia Russell and Miss Dunglison dined and took tea with us, and I did my best to entertain them — Oh poor flowers, there's no need of your trying to hold your fading heads up, for he won't come this morning. I have two notes, saying he would be home yesterda this morning, and a telegraph to say – not before night. I am so weary of his absence. It rains hard so there is no going out if I would. But one of his letters frightens me. What can he mean about a great Sorrow? Are Papa and C. M. sepa- -rated or what is it. What with want of sleep, disappointment and anxiety I could just sit down and wring my hands instead of which I shall set to work on Pat's towels — I made baby two crib counterpanes, and was then called to see the Judge and hear his account of the departure of the Expedition. I was very much interested in it, and after dinner he made me read aloud part of an amusing article in Putnam's Magazine. Then I took my nap, and then tea-time came, and not long after I heard the door open quietly, and a minute after, my darling held me in his arms. It was so delightful! When he went upstairs to prepare for his tea, I laid my head on his shoulder and cried for joy. Ah, it may be so short a time that we have together, God bless him! And oh, what a delightful talk we had! Saturday Wrote to Bessie in the morning, and expected Lizzie to June 2 sit with me according to promise but she did not come as it rained very hard. At two o'clock Tom came with a carriage and drove me up and down hunting for a clergyman to preach at the House of Refuge tomorrow. In the afternoon we went again. Sewed in the evening, poor Tom being absent till bed-time when he at length succeeded in getting some one to preach. Sunday Took a little walk with my boy, and then we June 3 read together the VIII chapter of John and the VII of Job he reading the Latin and I the English and noting the differences. It is very pleasant. Tom had a very nice clergyman to read and preach to the House of Refuge boys. He took their attention at once & kept it. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p133.jpg) In the evening Tom sang, and then we talked with the Judge about Fern Rock, and then adjourned to our own room where Tom begged to look at my Diary of the time he was away, and of the same date last year, and the year before. Each year I am happier and more fortunate than the last! Monday Wrote to Harry. Walked with Tom as far as Chestnut and June 4 Ninth Street, and stopped on my return to buy gloves at Vogel's. Then tidied my room, learned my verse, read my Bible, and balanced my accounts for May. Mary Thomas called and spent half an hour or so with me, and then I wrote diary, marked towels for Pat and emptied the bureaus of their contents & packed one trunk for baby. This kept me busy till my two o'clock dinner time. Then Tom, Charles Burchard and I, sallied forth to Fairmount where we took the boat and sailed up the river to Laurel Hill where Tom had business and where he left us at the boat house while he went to work. We were about an hour and a quarter there, and though it was dull as I can't trot about over the hills, yet the day was so fine that it was much pleasanter than if I had stayed shut up at home. There was a west wind blowing that chased the clouds over the sky and made the loveliest passing shadows on the river and its banks. The rains of the three last days have caused a freshet too, and down by Fairmount the river foams over the dam nobly. Tom got through his work before the boat came, and it was very pleasant sitting by his dear side, on a log, and dreaming of — not the future but the present. He had a headache and was worried about something too, but yet he was happy and I am sure I was. He went out after tea, I thought merely to accompany Lizzie home, but he was gone till near ten o'clock and then came home so tired, poor fellow! — Becky sent me a pretty baby's cap Tuesday A nice letter, and a book from poor dear Walter. I wish June 5 he were happily married; he must be so lonely! I walked down town with Tom, as I wanted to get velvet for covering some vase stands, but the shops had all put away their pretty velvets, so I got none. Coming home found my room all in disorder; the men having moved away the bureaus, so I was hard at work for some time till the confusion was reduced to some degree of order. Then I learned my verse, read my Bible wrote my diary and put down my accounts. Then an old school mate of Mrs Kane's called, and I had to go ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p134.jpg) downstairs to see them. Then Lizzie paid a long visit, and then I sat downstairs till dinner time. Miss Amelia Russell dined with us and told me a good deal about Brook Farm. I sat up till five o'clock hoping Tom would come in, and then lay down quite alarmed about him. He did not come for some time but I was very glad that business not sickness detained him. Becky and Robert and Dr Elder took tea here, but I did not enjoy it, for they talked about the way to bear troubles, and agreed they should take them as philosophers. But they never seemed to remember that Christ had come into the world to bear our troubles for us, and I felt too shy to speak on the subject for fear Dr E– would begin an argument, and I can't argue, I can only feel on the subject. I know that if it had not been for Christ's love upholding me, I never could have borne Tom's long illness, but I found Him the only present help in trouble. I am afraid I did wrong in not speaking, and giving my Saviour the glory due His name. God forgive me if I did! Wednesday Last night poor Lucy howled dreadfully, and made me June 6 quite miserable, and that I fear, cost my darling a sleepless night. How selfish I am, when I know that a shadow on my face clouds his whole day! My darling! I must let my conduct show him how happy I really am. — Poor Lizzie called to bid me goodbye & show give me a little sacque she has worked for my wee baby. Tom and I walked down the street together, and then I came back shopping on the way up. Then read my Bible, learned my verse, put down my accounts, and wrote my Diary. Then I wrote to Walter, and then read Peveril of the Peak (sensible! but I had no work) till dinner. Then I took my nap. Miss Russell spent the evening here, and was very entertaining though I began to think she would never go to bed. She told us about the way they spent the day at Brook Farm. She often waited at table. Others cooked. They rose at daylight, assembled in one of the four houses where they breakfasted at seven o'clock. Then they separated, into the washing group, the ironing group, the teaching group, the dormitory group and so on. They had a large school and besides this private older girl pupils, and rusticated students from Cambridge. No one taught for more than an hour at a time. Many fine days the lessons were given in the pine woods in- -stead of the school house. In the evening Miss R– was chief ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p135.jpg) of the Amusement Group. They had private theatricals, a Shakspere reader club, dances every three or four nights, several performers on the flute and piano, a drilled choir, and all sorts of games, besides long strolls in the pine woods pic-nics and so on. On Sundays they had a service as long as Dr Channing was there, and at other times there were churches of every denomination at Dedham three miles off. She said the descriptions of scenery were perfect in the Blithedale Romance, the remainder a malicious fiction. Among the residents were Margaret Fuller, and George Curtis. Curtis, she praised highly, as a goodhearted intelligent man, – a capital reader – a good fellow. His father was one of the two men to whom Mrs Humphreys was engaged. She said Mrs H– had a sister Jeannette who was a wicked woman, did not know where she was now– lived in all sorts of bad places. Poor Mrs H! I never knew she had a story before. — I spoke of Mrs Whitman's poems. Miss R– knows her well, a widow about fifty, but looks only thirtyfive, refined, gentle, feminine. Some years ago was engaged to Edgar A. Poe. She was the lady whom I have heard of, who would not believe in his habits till a gen- -tleman brought him to the house barely able to stand from intoxication. Thursday Miss Amelia did not go for some hours after breakfast. June 7 As every one was busy but me, her entertainment de- -volved upon me. She told me that she had been a writing medium. I asked whether she actually believed in spiritual rappings. She said – well, at one time whenever she happened to have pencil and paper in hand her hand would move without volition on her part, and write without her seeing or knowing what she wrote. I asked her whether she wrote sense. No, lies and nonsense so that she had finally refused the spirits permission to approach her or hold any communication with her. Since then she had not been troubled by them. Asked her to tell me some circumstance. She said, once she was talking to her niece and felt her hand move. She thought the pencil was making unmeaning scrawls as she could tell she was not writing, until her niece asked if she knew what she was doing. No, she replied, and on looking found she had drawn a hand and arm, the fore finger extended. After this her hand would draw the same thing now large now small till she grew quite nervous. It cleared up by the time Miss A– went, and I then went ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p136.jpg) out shopping till twelve, and then sewed till dinner time. After tea Tom sang and I sewed, but the evening was so oppressively warm that we could scarcely breathe. At length the rain fell in torrents. Friday A lovely day. Walked down with Tom a little way. Had a June 8 long letter from Pat. Sewed the greater part of the day. At four Tom and I went in the boat to Laurel Hill. We had a delight- -ful sail. On our return we found the Dunglisons and Cousin Mary Gray to tea, and I was so fatigued with enter- -taining them that I hardly slept all night. Saturday Aunt Mary came in this morning as I was puzzling over a June 9 piece of embroidery, and told me I was setting about it without a necessary implement (?) a little circular frame on which to stretch the work. So I went out and bought it, and found I could work much more easily. I was so fascinated that I worked at it all day. I had a letter from Pat. Sunday I had another restless night, and poor Tom was quite sick. June 10. He had a dreadful headache, and, I fear a slight chill. I sat by him and read Barnes' Notes on Job, and Herbert's Poems, and perfected myself in my week's verses besides reading several chapters of Romans, while I held my hand pressed to his poor aching head. John Green brought me a note from C. M. Very depressed, and dissatisfied with her sojourn at Astoria, proposing to go in a month's time to West Point or Lebanon. I hope she will do right, whatever she does, poor thing! I wrote quite a long letter to Tot. We had a heavy thunder- -shower in the evening which lasted till I fell asleep, about dawn. Monday Up early. Put labels and covers on preserves for Mrs Kane, and June 11 hemmed half a dozen kitchen cloths for her. In my own room I sewed for some time, and wrote to Cousin Margaret, and began trying to write a letter to my dear Tom to be read by him in case I die. But it was very hard to write, and I soon gave it up for the day for it seemed as if I were destined to constant interruptions. First came Aunt Alida, then Aunt Ann and then Mrs Humphreys. In the evening I told Tom some of Edgar Poe's stories which I had read in the morning. Tuesday A lovely day. Tom and I took the omnibus to Logan Square where we June 12 enjoyed a delightful stroll. Then I arranged a quantity of flowers I had ordered from market, in Pat's Bessie's and our bedrooms and in the dining, and drawing-rooms. Having done which, and being very thoroughly fatigued I sat down to rest, and a telegraphic message came saying Pat & Bess would reach Utica ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p137.jpg) tomorrow night. So my labour in their rooms was thrown away. I ought to finish my letter to Tom but I dread it, I can't do it. — I took up the paper and wrote, I fear very incomprehensibly, and had hardly calmed myself afterwards before my dear one came back from the office. He was in high spirits, and I, fearing he would find out what I had been about, forced myself into rather hysterical glee, for after dinner, I broke down and cried till I almost made my darling join me, and then I was so sorry and ashamed. We took a little stroll in the evening to refresh us for we were so exhausted. My darling, my own darling! Wednesday My dear Tom and I took an early walk, a trifle June 13 too long a one I think for my head aches after it, though I have rested quietly for some time. Mrs Kane went out to Fern Rock this morning, where she hopes to stay. I was busy all day packing away my clothes, for my expected removal on Friday or Saturday to Fern Rock. – Mrs. Kane came back in the evening, thoroughly disheartened. The rooms are all full of workmen, and there is no use of my going out till next week. So to take the disagreeable effect off my spirits Tom and I resolved to go and see the Panorama of Jerusalem. On our way we passed Sanford's Opera House, and the singing sounded so inspiriting that I proposed we should go there instead. No sooner said than done. And we enjoyed it exceedingly. There was one song — "A few days" sung with such enthusiastic animation that I felt as though very little would induce me to jump up and join in the chorus. Then there was a capital "Dan Tucker", an "old Steve come again", and another the name of which I forget, sung by all the company one and another quitting the circle and shuffling, field negro fashion, with wonderful agility. Best of the dances however, was one performed by the "unapproachable Lane", in which he kept time to the music in the most wonderful man, striking his steel shod heels together. — There were the usual negro joke interludes, but I was struck with one thing. I never could have noticed the points of the local jokes in New York in which I lived, but of which I was not. Here on the contrary I am so much more awake to things that are going on, that I understood all the allusions – the Mayor's Police, Crazy Nora — and so on. Oh yes, altogether it was a delightful piece of fun, and I am very glad I went. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p138.jpg) Thursday Went with Tom to enquire how poor Elizabeth Wetherill June 14 is, and heard she was dangerously ill of brain fever, brought on by over exertion in taking care of the children of her selfish sister Maria Janeway, who overtasks her servants so that no one will stay with her. Then she comes to her mother's and devolves the charge upon poor Elizabeth, and then we hear – she has strained the veins of her neck – she is spitting blood – she is in a great deal of mental excitement – hysteria, finally she is dangerously ill of brain fever. All of which Livingston Janeway and his wife probably talk and think of, as one of the "mysterious dispensations of Providence." Of course their share in it is undreamed of. — I wrote a note to Pat, today. He and Bessie are at Niagara; with the Mitchells still. I don't remember doing anything in the evening. Friday Tom and I drove down to the school. Found the children June 15 very happy but in great disorder. In the evening went to see a forlorn Panorama of Pales- -tine. Saturday Had a letter from Pat. Was sick with a bilious headache 16 and in bed all day long. Sunday Although better I was still pretty shaky, so did very 17 little all day except commence a letter to Willie which I finished on Monday. Monday Everything is in confusion, and I write this just previous June 18 to tying the book up to go out of town tomorrow. Where in the world I am to put my things when I get out, and what in the world I am to do in the way of packing them, I do not know! My dear Diary! I beg you ten thousand pardons, and as- sure you that I really have missed not being able to cor- -respond with you until this Wednesday the 27th of June. You went out of town, and I didn't. As usual the house was delayed and delayed, but at last our room was de- clared habitable, and yesterday afternoon my darling and I set out in a carriage laden with breakables, and with eatables, and carrying each one of the Lares appertaining to our room. I carried his beautiful Sèvres vase, and he one of the pillared busts. It was a delicious evening, every- thing was of a fresh and vivid green; caused by the late rains which had also laid the dust. A sweet breeze was stirring, and we were very happy as we journeyed homewards. Mrs Kane stood at the door to welcome us, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p139.jpg) but the poor Judge, after waiting till the last minute had been obliged to go into town. We found our little room looking beautiful. The Judge had arranged on the man- -tel shelf a little white vase full of white rosebuds and purple heliotrope, and on either side of it a glass filled with ferns and mist tree, which suited the room admirably. — After tea, eaten with dig- -nity off an ironing table, Tom and I sat at the window of Pat's room watching the trees shining in the moonbeams, and the beautiful flecking of the ground. We both felt very happy but very solemn too, and prayed that God would bless our new home and enable us to do our duty, and live happy here, and that it might be the birthplace of our dear child. We neither of us slept very well, for my poor boy is not well. I prayed that if it were possible Christ would make him well. Wednesday My poor boy was heavy with laudanum this June 27 morning until he went to town in the half past ten train. I drove over with him to the cars, and spent the entire day in superintending the unpacking and arranging of our possessions, and reading the Howadji in Syria, and embroidering. At seven o'clock Mrs Kane went off to see Mrs Betton, and to call on her return for the Judge and Tom at the cars. I took my seat on the piazza and read till it was too dark to read easily, and then watched the gradual coming on of the darkness, and the rising of the moon. Then I went and sat in the drawing room by the window, to wait for them. I tried to fix my thoughts on the coming time, and to make up my mind to bear the pain with fortitude trusting that God would strengthen me through all, and then what happiness beyond! Instead of getting my thoughts fixed on these things, I found my- -self thinking, first that I knew every one would be ashamed of me because I shall be such a coward; and then wandering off entirely, to wonder what Cousin Margaret, and the other party were all doing. I wish I could reflect, and think seriously, and all that. At length they came home, about nine o'clock. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p140.jpg) and my darling looked very well, and said he felt so. After he had had a cup of tea, we sat and talked a little while, and then went to bed very happy and thankful, and slept very soundly. Thursday Rose feeling very well. Yesterday and today we June 28 had morning prayers, the servants present, and Mrs Kane used the prayers I copied out. She likes them very much, and I only wish I could have copied a few more. My dear Tom has been writing "Two letters to a Member of the Board of Controllers of the Public Schools; by a Tax Payer" They are two of a number of articles he has written to influence the public mind in favor of Infant Schools, and I think they are capital. He gave me one of the nice copies this morning which I put in here. — I drove over to the nine o'clock cars with him and the Judge and enjoyed the drive very much as there is a delicious breeze though the weather is very warm. ~ Then I came back, read my chapter, learned my verse, and wrote diary. I am afraid it is very damp here. My clothes have a certain damp feeling, and so have the soles of my shoes, and the writing paper wrinkles ominously. Save us from ague! ~ I then helped Mrs Kane until our early dinner hour, and afterwards lay down to rest, reading the "Nile Notes." When I rose to dress for the afternoon it was time for the Judge to come home, and he brought dear Bess back with him sunburnt and rosy as possible. We had a long talk before I drove over to meet my dearest. In the evening Bessie, he, and I, sat on the terrace in the moonlight. Dear Pat brought me a pretty work basket and pair of slippers from Niagara. He looked very well, I thought. Friday At a very early hour Mrs Kane, Bess, and the Judge, June 29 set off to town. My dearest resolved to spend the whole day with me, and we began by devoting a half hour to tracing the movements of the Allies before Sebastopol, on a map Tom brought me yesterday. Then Tom went to look over the place, and after I joined him we sat on the terrace where we could enjoy what little breeze there was. But it is a very hot day. Yesterday there was a grand breeze though in town the thermometer was 92°! I wonder what it is today! — Tom and I hunted for cool places in vain all ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p141.jpg) The little breeze died away, and we were almost ready to die too. The papers say the thermometer stood at 95° in the shade, ten degrees hotter than last year. At six o'clock my darling had ordered a horse and wagon to take me a pleasure drive. Such a drive! The horse had run away with the man coming over, and all the time he kept balking, so that poor Tom was kept in a state of the most violent exertion jumping in and out to lead him. I behaved very well, Tom said, but I confess I was very much frightened. — The pleasantest thing of the day was the arrival of three letters, from Papa, Tot, and Nell, all in high spirits and delighted with their trip. Thursda Another fearfully hot day. I drove over to the cars with Saturday Tom and the Judge, and then drove into Germantown June 30 to execute some commissions. How the Main Street lay baking in the sun! When I got home I went and sat on the terrace where I knew I could catch the breeze if any were stirring. But no breeze was there so at eleven I came up, balanced my accounts for the month and wrote my diary, and worked at my embroidery till my dear Tom came home. He was in grand spirits, for a case, the Penobscot, had been unexpectedly decided, and he brought home his bank book to show me that we were $386.00 richer than I expected. Also he brought me oranges, pineapples, chocolate, newspapers, books, and a letter from Walter so that it was a gala day. Walter says that C.M. was so much annoyed by village scandal and gossip that he took her to West Point. I hope God will do good things for her, poor woman, and make both Papa and her happier! — A sweet breeze sprang up in the evening. We went to bed early and slept soundly. Sunday A heavenly day. The breeze was strong and July 1 delightful. After breakfast Tom and I sat on the terrace and read together, and then strolled down to Fern Rock where we sat for a long time till Pat came out. Then there was some talking, and Pat and Tom strolled off, and I went upstairs wrote to Papa, and wrote diary. I think our room gets most sun, though perhaps most air, of any. The evening was cool quiet and pleasant. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p142.jpg) Monday Though it was a pleasant enough day, it I was not well, and July 2 instead of writing to Cousin Margaret and Walter as I at first intended, I came home after driving over with Tom to the cars and sat still all day sewing and entertaining the two Dunlaps, who called. Dr Betton also called, and Bockins to apologise for the bad horse he gave us, but I saw neither of them. Tom, Bessie and the Judge came out to dinner. After tea we sat on the piazza talking, as it was a lovely night. Tuesday Went over to the cars with Tom, and worked busily July 3 on my return in unpacking and arranging tem- -porarily, Tom's papers. Then lay on the bed reading the first volume of Jerome Cardan's life, and wrote diary, read my chapter, and learned my verse. I wish my baby would come! I hate to be so com- -pletely useless as I am. I finished the Nile Notes today. Sewed and talked all the evening. Wednesday Could not sleep well at night. Wrote accounts, diary, and July 4 to Walter, and sewed. Pat stayed with us over night. Thursday Walked about the grounds with Tom for a while. We then July 5 busied ourselves in arranging the upper closets in our room. Then I read "the Newcomes" aloud to Tom, and then gave him an early dinner, and saw him off by the train at 12.49. I found the remainder of the day before dinner and pretty dull. After dinner Dr Betton and his wife called, and I had to go talk with them. Then came a thunder-shower, in the midst of which my darling arrived, and after it cleared off the Judge drove Mrs Kane and me over to Butler Place as we had heard that Sally was sick. We found her better, however. I have rarely seen so exquisite a sky as bent over us, as we came home. The thunder clouds were rolling off in heavy masses towards the distant horizon, while the steel-like blue of the sky near them, melted as it neared us into the tenderest hue. Here and there a little, sharply-defined, purple, rosy or golden cloud hung in the west, like islands in a summer sea. — Neither Tom nor I felt well so we went to bed very early, and as I passed a pretty restless night, when dawn came, my boy soothed me into a nice long sleep. While I lay awake, I was struck by the apathy of my feelings towards the coming baby, compared to the acuteness with which I felt Tom's sickness. He is so infinitely dear to me, that I find myself only thinking of the way in which its presence will affect him, rejoicing because he will be glad, troubled at the inconveniences to which he will be subjected, and hoping that it won't ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p143.jpg) interfere with the unrestrained intercourse we have hitherto enjoyed. Friday I had a bad headache and lay down till twelve, when July 6 I wrote my diary. Monday I did not write my journal on Sunday; July 9 having occupied Saturday and Sunday with writing to Tot and to Cousin Margaret. On Sunday I took the longest walk I have enjoyed for weeks. I went down the roadway to the little avenue where Tom was with his father admiring some land tortoises, and thence we went to see the laburnums, white thorns, and lilacs at English Corner, where we sat on the rocks and talked till I was rested enough to scale the hill. I ascended it by a single effort, and yet arrived at the house unfatigued and able to do justice to my dinner. On Monday Tom ran off in too early a train to let me post script my letter to Tot as I wished to. I was so well that that the Nurse too went up to town, though she and her daughter both returned in time for dinner at three. I spent my morning in reading. Moredun I began and finished. I began the first volume of Huc's China and finished it the same night, and I embroidered some flowers in the expected baby's cloak. I went down to dinner though I could not eat much, but after tea felt unwell enough to consent to Tom's going over to the Doctor's to relate my symptoms and ask him whether he thought it worth while to come over and sleep here. Tom was gone till after ten, and I was glad for I could not have talked to him. Shall I ever forget the evening? I placed my candle in the window that Tom on his return might see me sitting near it, and there I stayed; sewed and read my Bible, as well as I could, till ten. Then I rose and undressed myself, washed myself, put away my clothes, and got into bed. Soon Tom came and lay down beside me. About half past twelve, I had to send him for the nurse and the doctor, and four minutes past one on Tuesday morning, our darling little daughter was born. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p144.jpg) Sunday Today is our baby's thirteenth, and I am so well that July 22 but for the rain I should be permitted to sit up. I find it pleasanter however, to rest contented and be read to. My darling read me two chapters from the Latin Bible which I always enjoy so much, and then we employed ourselves thinking of many matters, the conclusion of the whole matter being — that we are very happy. I said however that I found that the late nine months which I f esteemed so pleasant as they passed, were resolving themselves into something quite the reverse. It seemed as if in my mind a sort of shadow from the last month and its petty annoyances fell back on all the rest. I would note this as a temporary state of feeling which must soon pass. I will not allow my thankfulness to be overclouded by solicitude for the dear ones across the water. It is not right to my own baby to allow my feelings to be as much depressed as they were by the tidings I received last week. If Willie is not left in banish- -ment among the French, I will endeavor to think Tot and Harry best away from our falling rooftree. But, oh Mamma! Why were you taken? Little Nell will be so lonely. Tom regrets even more than I that we have no roof of our own to shelter her. But we did right in coming to live here. Papa refused to let the children come to live with us, which could alone have justified the expenditure necessary to keep up our Girard street house. Sunday evening, and Monday my spirits were again overclouded: — the rainy weather I suppose but I was able to see through to the clear sky beyond after cheerful talks with my dearest friend. Thank God for the dear husband who is brother sister and mother to me, and the sweet child who already plays the part of comforter when my heart feels desolate. For the breaking up of the family has come. Things will never be as of old – but indeed the change began when the stranger took our Mother's (place, and, poor woman), instead of drawing closer the links of family affection, only corroded them with drops of her own heart's bitterness. The only wonder is that they held together so long. I cannot feel angry with her, though, for she herself suffers more than any one of us. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p145.jpg) They are all enjoying themselves exceedingly in Scotland, a letter says this morning:— the business settlements have been satisfactory: the partners have resolved to establish Dennistoun Cross & Co as bankers in London,— and Papa with a happy heart sails down the Clyde in Uncle Alick's yacht. But the children do not write to me. We talked gravely over great and small matters of the future. Should I be separated from my husband and his labours? Should he give up his clerkship in which his strong years, he thinks, are drying up in routine, and go West to seek his or rather Baby's fortune? Could we continue to see as much of each other as we have done.— Must not Tom work in town? Could he work out here? in our one room, so small and crowded, no bookcase and no desk or desk room, and a baby in it. With this third question representing a mighty temptation, shd we build an extra chamber? Decided 2nd affirmatively, 3rd negatively. We will not put any more Laurel Hill stones into the ground just now– we will try how we can manage for a month or two, first:— we will save our money— Tom will try to work at Fern Rock, and instead of building an extra room, the carpenter shall put up a shelf or two in the closet for papers, and a writing board shall be fastened on the armchair. Tuesday The sun shone out, and the birds resumed their July 24 precentorships in the high trees next to the house; and it was no less cheerful because the wind shook showers from the wet boughs all day. I sat up! three times, too, and read to my- -self. After Tom came out we had a delightful four hours talk, so completely about nothing that I remember nothing at all about it. Wednesday Very hot! Aunt Mary, Cousin Mary, Mary July 25. Thomas and Libbie Smith came out to see Harriet. Cousin Mary saw a likeness to Elisha besides the thumb, & Aunt Mary to Tom. They gave her a coral and sleeve clasps, Read Hugh Miller whose descriptions of the caves, and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p146.jpg) deep pools of Cromarty Firth almost carried me from the hot woodland here, to Elie and its caves, and pools, and breezy heaths. But on the whole it is easier work with pure Romances, this weather. I like to read novels– it is so pleasant to think when I come to the happy wind-up, that I possess so much happier a reality. For which, thank God! Thursday Another oppressively hot day. However I was promoted July 26 to spending a considerable part of the day in my own room again. I finished Hugh Miller's book which I liked very much indeed. My darling looked ill, and went to bed early. Friday I was allowed to write, and so wrote to Tot before July 27 breakfast, and my diary afterwards. I never discovered any of the resemblances the family have seen in the baby, but today I saw a likeness to Willie Kane. I never saw any likeness to any one before. Tom was very much distressed today. A friend of his, Passmore Williamson, was committed to Moyamensing Prison, for helping slaves off, and Tom felt bound and pinioned by his duty as a Clerk of Court, and began yearning for the West. The West! How I dread the idea! But though Tom gave it up, I yet see that I must prepare for it ultimately. Saturday No very sound sleep last night for me. I was July 28 turning over in my mind the subject of Utah, and during the course of the morning resolved to tell Tom, that if he chose to go out next summer, and prepare for us, I would come out and join him as soon as the baby is old enough. This is only in case he feels it his duty to go there very strongly. Hard as the long separation would be to both of us, I fear he will not remain here long, contentedly. Yet, oh my darling husband, this clerkship which you feel so great a bondage, is a merciful grant of God to us. You are too weak to earn our livelihood, and I only pray that we may enjoy it till we can lay by a little. We spend up to our income now, for we live well, & Tom's charities are large still. I am puzzled whether it is not our duty to restrict them — My resolution prepared me for what happened in the evening. Tom asked me if I would let him go to Utah for a few months this next summer for his health. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p147.jpg) Thank God, I had been preparing myself all day, and I could say quite cheerfully that if he thought it would do his health good I would be too glad. He thinks he has dismissed the subject from his mind but it haunts him, and will, till he resolves to go. I trust then that that the interval of time before his going will be passed contentedly. We must give up the school, and I must save everything I can while we have this abundant income, for we'll want it soon enough. Unacknowledged to me, and probably to himself one of Tom's main objects is to try whether he has a good opening for making a livelihood there, and any chance of health. So if he return next autumn it will be either a broken- -hearted man, or to fetch me to the West. Now I must begin to look on the bright side! Sunday I took a long morning sleep, and was up July 29 and came down to dinner for the first time In the afternoon Tom and I sat in the draw- -ing room. How strange! Only three weeks ago I sat there, and wondered how it would feel to be a mother. Today we talked more fully about Utah, and resolved to let Tom's journey be decided by the state of his health next spring. Monday My darling is sick. His close attendance upon July 30 me, with the overwork in which he indulged in the first joyful excitement of having a child to work for, have broken him down, My God preserve him, and make him well soon! Tuesday Tom was better in the afternoon, and the rest July 31 of yesterday was very pleasant. I came down to tea, and spent the evening on a sofa in the dining room. The Judge talked to me about Lafayette's courtesy to old Mrs Robert Morris. Tom went to town this morning as the day was too dull to drive me. Sarah Butler brought me a basket of flowers. Little baby took notice of her bright new rattle. Wednesday Tom was sick today, and I had to take my first drive alone. Thursday Sick still! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p148.jpg) Sunday I took a long morning sleep, and was up and down to July 29 dinner for the first time. In the afternoon Tom and I sat in the drawing room and talked about his proposed visit to Utah. We determined to allow the state of his health next summer to determine for us whether he should go. He proposed to spend June, July, August and Septem- -ber away. — Three weeks ago we sat and talked in this same room. What changes since! Monday When I woke this morning found my dear one July 30 sick with an attack of dysentery. Oh my God, spare us a time of wearying agony like last summer. Oh spare him now, do not let him be very ill, and if going to the mountains be good for him, enable me to persuade him to go! He was better after noon, and the rest of the day was very pleasant. I came down to tea and spent the rest of the evening downstairs. The Judge was talking to me about old Mrs Robt Morris and the courtesy of Lafayette towards her, on his triumphal visit to Phila. He spoke of Tot's remaining in England, as an undue sacrifice to C.M. I can see that he and Tom both think Papa selfish in allowing it, but I am sure he will miss Tot more than any one, and that he makes a sacrifice in sparing her the sight of the bickerings and annoyances of — home! Ah dear people would to God your home were as happy as mine! Tuesday As the day was dull, my promised drive was July 31 deferred, and Tom went into town early. After he went Sally Butler came and brought me an im- -mense basket of flowers, the arranging of which in vases occupied me nearly two hours. Then I pasted in my Letter book the latest letters I had received. There was one very sad one which I had not seen before, from poor Dr Joynes telling of his young wife's failing health, and the faint hope he had of her recovery. My baby is three weeks old today. I had fancied that her eyes followed us about the room for two or three days past, and this morning I tried an experiment. As she lay on her pillow I jingled her coral and bells before her eyes. Then moving it from side to side she turned her little head as it passed following it with her eyes. I half smothered her with kisses at the sight. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p149.jpg) In the afternoon Tom drove us, and we enjoyed it excessively. We went down Church, and Dewey's lanes to Thorp's and home by the old York road. Tom sang for me in the evening, but he had been suffering all day, though I did not know it, and we were both tired and went to bed early. Wednesday When I woke, heard that poor Tom was sick August 1 again, and spent all the time they would let me at his bedside. The Doctor forbids me to go to the mountains with Tom, on the baby's account, and I am very much bothered about him. Can he be persuaded to go without me, and ought he to go alone? — We were disappointed that we could not drive together. But for the fact that I had left my heart behind with him, I should have enjoyed my drive up the old York turn -pike very much. Every thing looked so fresh, green, and smiling. Thursday Tom much the same till evening when he August 2 felt better, and I left him in very good spirits to drive over to Germantown with baby and the Judge, in search of beefsteak, chloroform etc. I en- -joyed the drive very much. I met Mr Atkins my old teacher of composition with his wife. Friday Tom better. Read aloud to him, wrote to Papa and August 3 Walter, read him the Newcomes. Intended to drive out by Tacony Creek but Mrs Kane asked us to do errands in Germantown. On our return dear Tom came as far as the head of the stairs to meet us. I had a nice letter from M. Jones. Saturday We had to take our drive in the morning as Mrs August 4 K. wanted us to order coal in Germantown. Read aloud to Tom before I started. He was up and dressed to greet me on my return and we lunched together. Then while he read, I wrote diary. Dear baby looks about brightly now, there can be no doubt. How we all love her! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p150.jpg) Sunday It rained all day, nevertheless I enjoyed it. I wrote to Tot August 5 and to Aunt Ann, and read and talked with Tom. Pat sent the Melodeon out, so that Tom could read without going downstairs, as it could be carried up to him. We had a long talk about dear Pat in the evening. Monday Saturday A lovely day. Tom and I took a lo first stroll on the August 6 terrace together. Then I mended his shirts, wrote diary and put down accounts. In the afternoon the Judge drove us past Rensselaer, and by old Rorer's. Tom and I sat in the dining-room with his father and mother in the evening, and it was very pleasant. Tuesday Tom and I took our second stroll – as far as the August 7 "cut" to see the train go by. We are having delicious autumn-like weather, just now. Read Combe and Woman in the Nineteenth Century. Drove through Germantown in the afternoon. Wrote to Cousin Margaret. Wednesday Tom able to go to town today. The baby was weighed August 8 yesterday, as she was four weeks old, and to my surprise weighed only seven pounds, her weight at a week old. But Tom then told me that two weeks ago the little creature grew very thin, and must have lost a pound or so and that since we began regular driving she appeared to regain flesh rapidly. Little darling! I hope she will be healthy. I think so much about Tot, Harry and Willie. Oh God, watch over them, and avert all the evil consequences that appear likely to follow the step they have taken. Tom came to the de- -termination yesterday to give up the schools, in order to have enough to enable us to maintain Tot should we find a chance of getting her to live with us next spring. I copied part of the diary which I dictated to Tom during my sickness, and got my closet in good order. Then took a drive up the Limekiln road with the Judge, and got home in time to meet Tom on his road from the cars. He brought an immense ten months old English mastiff, which he has purchased to guard the house at night, and accompany us by day in our walks. Harry Wharton came out to dinner, with Pat, and saw the baby who behaved creditably, dear wee darling. In the afternoon Tom slept while I read the papers, and in the evening Tom sang parts of Lucrezia Borgia ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p151.jpg) for me, explaining the plot as he proceeded. How very much I enjoyed it! Thursday The day was dull and close till near two o'clock when August 9 a brisk shower cleared up into the sky. I wrote to — really – I forget now to whom I did write. I read the book on Cryptogamia and Woman in the XIX century. I made also a poultice for Tom's arm and then got him to sleep, before dinner. After dinner the Judge drove us along the York road to Nicetown Lane, and home by the old Second Street Road. Tom sang part of the evening. Friday Harriet is a month old today. She was pretty restless last August 10 night, so I slept late this morning, and Tom went to Town before I saw him, but not without sending me a cluster of beautiful scarlet leaves, as a sign that autumn was coming. It might be autumn now, so clear and cold the air is today. After my breakfast I set to work and put Tom's room in thorough order, arranging all his clothes nicely, and clearing his pockets of the rubbish he had collected in them during my sickness. Among old scraps of paper, I collected over nine dollars! This morning William drove us over to Germantown, and I found myself quite strong enough to go to the depôt and meet Tom– a simple pleasure, but a great one to me, and to judge by his face, to him too. We sat up in his room part of the evening. Saturday Another delightful day. Harriet was very good, so Tom, Bessie August 11 and I, with the nurse and the young lady herself took a most beautiful drive along Tacony Creek, and past Mrs Roland's. Then I lay down till near dinner time reading Margaret Fuller's book. I like it, but how she writes from books, not men! — After dinner I stayed with the baby while Tom slept, and before tea we took a stroll together out to the bridge. I did not do much more as my headached and I went to bed early. I wish I could determine what is best for the children! Sunday Another sweet day. Tom and I strolled about the woods August 12 for some time, and then had a long talk about Tot, and at last concluded to write to her to come to us. I don't know yet how we shall arrange the matter, but God will show me: & R.P.K. help, perhaps We had a long walk through Churchman's woods in the evening and oh how delightful it was! I wrote a long letter to Harry urging her to take care of her health, and Tom wrote to Tot, offering her a home with us. Tom thinks she should come, and be dependent on him but I know neither she nor Papa would ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p152.jpg) consent to that, and I should be heartily ashamed of them if they did. Tom and I don't see money matters with the same eyes. However I hope it will all get right in good time! Monday A very warm day. The Judge drove us in the afternoon, and Aug 13. in the evening Tom and he talked together while I talked to Bess. Spent part of the morning in examining mosses part in arranging and putting away, our silver. Heard of poor Bessie Carey's death. Tuesday Our baby is five weeks old today, and weighs August 14 7lbs 9oz and 1/4. So she has quite fattened. We took a lovely drive through some new lanes, and then I collected some mosses and lichens in the wood to look at under the microscope. Two Mormons spent the greater part of the day here. One, Mr John Taylor, was one of the four who were attacked by the mob at Carthage, when two of them Hyrum and Joseph Smith were murdered. He gave me an account of it, and of Western travelling generally. Tom and I were alone in the evening Mrs Kane, Bessie and the Judge being at Leiperville Wednesday Took a delightful drive through some lanes entirely August 15 new to me. Wasted the remainder of the morning in reading Horse Shoe Robinson and playing with the baby, who cooed to day for the first time, and smiled when I played with her. Tom's clerk Mr Burchard had a daughter married this morning. Tom exercised his voice all the evening Thursday Showery. Wrote a long letter to Lizzie M. August 16 Did nothing particular Friday or Saturday, except examining mosses and lichens and trying to understand the principle of Colour. My darling Tom consented to go to the mountains. Sunday Another cool delicious day. I forgot to say that on Friday August 19 evening the Judge talked with me for a long time about poor Passmore Williamson and I saw that his heart was sore for Tom's sympathy. So I told my own darling, and on Saturday evening he let the Judge talk to him on the subject, and on Sunday he went over the place with him, and I saw that his father's heart was lighter by far than it had been. We read a chapter or so together and had altogether a very happy day. Monday Walked to the cars with Tom, and on my return washed August 20 and dressed baby for the first time. Our drive today was quite long and I drove some distance. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p153.jpg) Tom stayed at home till Friday morning and I was so busy and so pleasantly occupied that I never thought of my diary once. This morning Friday Aug. 24 Tom went to town, and I remembered my diary. I have one of my bad colds, increased I believe by last night's trotting up and down with my sweet child whose bright eyes obstinately refused to close. I wrote to Tot this week, and so did Bessie. Her letter was a very kind and sweet one, indeed. Just the kind of letter, I should like to receive! Tom intended to pay some calls in the evening so that he might set off on a mountain journey with nothing on his mind. But in the evening he was taken with that pain again, which always leaves him weak for a day or two. Saturday Tom was better, and tried a remedy of old Governor Aug. 25. Penn's. I hope it will be a successful one. We drove over to Dr Betton's to ask him to come and vaccinate baby, and to know whether we might not accompany Tom when he is able to go. This he refused. Dear baby was with me most part of the day, and behaved charmingly till night, when, the nurse having left me alone with Jane, we did not get on well. Baby waked and cried a good deal. – Nell and Papa sail to day. Sunday This morning in dressing the baby, I had a great fright, August 26 and I still feel very anxious about her. I am momently expecting Dr Betton. Oh my Father teach me how to manage my baby! This was written at 11 A.M. I could not help worrying about her so much, that after dinner Tom took me a delightful farm walk, and soon after our return Dr Betton came and said nothing was the matter. How thankful I am! Poor Tom had to sleep in my room as Pat occupied his, and owing to Miss Harriet's restlessness did not sleep one wink. Monday I am trying to make my baby regular in her August 27 habits, and in pursuance thereof she is now lying awake in her crib because it is sleepy time. I hope she won't wake and put my good resolutions to the test of keeping her there in spite of everything. — Baby was wonderfully good but she tired me very much, as I had to attend to her nearly all day so I went to bed early Tuesday Baby seven weeks old weighed 8lbs 3oz — 3oz & 1/4 more than last week. August 28 She crowed and smiled at her father this morning. I am getting her into pretty good habits. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p154.jpg) I altered the skirt of a dress, as I sat by her, as she slept, while Tom directed the cutting down of some trees. This is another of the many days I had hoped to enjoy a drive with Tom, but every day he is either sick or has been doing work for somebody or other till he is knocked up poor dear fellow! I hate to be always trying to prevent him, it seems as if I were a selfish scold, but I always see bad consequences re- -sulting from everything of the kind. And then when he is sick it is always – "He eat so and so," or "he did this or that – why didn't you prevent him?" As if I liked to worry him, because he takes it patiently from me! — Tom did go driving with me, to my great satisfaction. We first went to enquire after Becky Dunlap who was much better, and then took a lovely drive along the Wissahickon. We saw some beautiful blue wild flowers, of which we resolved to transplant a few to Fern Rock when the season comes. — Read Chevreul in the evening. Wednesday Tom was working at a fishpond, and so did not August 29 drive with me– I called at the Dunlap's, Pugh's, Henry's and Toland's. Went to bed early. Had a nice letter from Walter. Thursday Heard of the dreadful death of poor George Ingersoll. August 30 I cannot realise the possibility that he, so full of life and hope only a day ago, will never come strolling through these woods again, as I have seen him do so often since we came here. What a dreadful blank life must now become to his poor father and mother with never another child or grand-child to console them! — Our drive today was a long and entirely new one, back of Chestnut Hill. I enjoyed it very much it looked like the blessed mountain country of Pennsylvania, and it was so pleasant to have dear Tom with me. Friday Today we drove to the end of the Wissahickon turnpike, August 31 returning by Chesnut Hill. I enjoyed it very much. In the evening I finished Chevreul's book on Colours, a work which has been the means of opening a wonderful source of pleasure to me. I am going to try whether I cannot educate my baby and myself together, and since she takes so much of my time up, to consider no circumstance too small to be turned to our mutual advantage. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p155.jpg) For instance – I shall endeavour to wash and dry her thoroughly enough to dispense with powder— to teach her regular habits— to conquer her stomach aches with- -out having recourse to drugs, etc. Saturday And now let me make a plan for the month. September 1 Baby is nursed twice in the night, and once before I rise. After breakfast I must dress her & nurse her to sleep. Till driving time, read my Bible, write diary etc. Drive – lunch <+> – bathe – study or sew – dine <+> – sleep – undress baby – tea <+>. Then come up stairs while Jane is at her tea, and study. Afterwards write or study. Poor George Ingersoll is to be buried today. — We enjoyed a delightful drive today, Bessie, Harriet and I. Over by Mr Francis Fisher's, and Dolly Lolly's corner. Sunday Tom and I read the 32nd Psalm, and then Ruth together, and September 2. then strolled through the Churchman and Butler Woods, gathering purple Iron Weed, Golden Rod, green Ferns and crimson and yellow leaves, with feathery Sedge with which I filled our marble vase, while Tom festooned our white and gold mirror with a bending spray of crimson and black berries. As usual our afternoon was rendered miserable with the baby's cries, who suffers very much from colic. Monday Tom and I took a long walk through Nice's woods, strolling September 3 out now and then to look at the lovely valley with its fields of buckwheat and waving corn, and then we found an abandoned quarry with a rich red hue on the rocks and on the gravel and dark green sprays of bramble overhanging its sides. Og looked fine lying in a soft bed he scraped for himself in the rich red earth. In the afternoon we had a great time with the baby, its grandparents being very anxious it should take Dewees' Carminative which we preferred it should not. Tuesday I wrote to Tot, but I don't remember anything particular September 4 about the week, except that on Thursday Papa and Nell landed in America. On Saturday I had letters from Papa and Tot. Saturday night Tom and I spent alone and restlessly with the baby. How curious it is to see the daily slight gain in intelligence made by the baby. This week I notice that she knows that she is regularly fed after her bath, and also that she knows me. She crows and laughs quite often now, and begins to put out her hands ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p156.jpg) to grasp at things. She is very strong, and splashes in the water with wonderful energy, and I think inherits her father's powerful grip if one may judge in so small a baby. Poor Charlotte's letter distressed me. I see she feels keenly her deprivation from home joys and home faces. I am half afraid to see Papa, God grant that I may do my duty to them, and yet — I don't think we should leave Fern Rock. I wish Papa would buy a little house near us, for Tot and the children! I am writing on Sunday, on my return from a stroll in the woods with Tom. We read our Bibles on Fern Rock. There are a great many squirrel holes in a line with the cave. I wonder if it extends further than we suppose! — I had myself weighed on Friday – 99 lbs, 3 more than Bessie weighs. Baby weighed on Tuesday only one ounce more than the preceding week – 8 lbs 4 oz. Monday Baby is two months old today wee darling. Tom went Sept. 10 into town and I watched the baby and trimmed her cap and read an affected book, called Christie Johnstone. For instance it persists in calling a boy – the baddish boy – all the time and in making sentences like this. — She liked him She esteemed him But she did not love him Therefore she could not marry him— Psha! I have no patience with it. Charles Nodier writes a book called the Seven Castles of the King of Bohemia – a book whose main end is to palaver forever and end without a word on the subject of the Seven Castles. This man Reade copies his style. Tuesday Baby weighs 8 lbs 12 1/2 oz. a gain of a large half pound Sept. 11 within the last week. Tom ordered Bockius to come for us at ten, but here is eleven and he has not shown his face yet. Upon the whole, the day was so warm and Tom's head ached so, I was glad Bockius did not come. Wrote to Papa in the evening. Harriet grows more charming in my eyes every day. Wednesday We took a drive, but the sun was too hot for us to go far. Sept. 12 Poor Harriet roared with colic all the way home, but still her attacks are much slighter and she grows a dear good baby. I was disappointed to get no ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p157.jpg) letter from home, although Tom says I ought not to expect one. I went down to the cars to meet Bess in the evening, and was fully rewarded by the exquisite sunset view of Half Mile Valley for the long time I had to wait. I wish Papa would pay his visit and let me hear his plans for the dear children. I delay writing to Tot until I am more sure what to say. I can't write to any one else either, and I try hard to feel as kindly to Cousin Margaret as if she did not occupy the position she does. Sunday A quiet Sunday alone with dear Tom. Septr 16 The family were in town Monday 17 I was hard at work putting Tom's room in order for our guests. Lucy Wickham came that evening, and her husband the following morning. Tuesday, and Wednesday we spent in entertaining them, and on Thursday they departed, taking Bessie. On Friday morning the Judge Pat and Mrs Kane followed, to Aunt Mary's where there is to be a dinner. This is the 21st and no news of either Expedition. If I feel alarmed and anxious how dreadfully His family must feel! The subject is never approached unless some little hopeful allusion is made to what will be done under such and such circumstances after their return. May God bring them safe home! Babys weight on Tuesday was only an ounce and three quarters more than the preceding week. 8lb14 [-] Monday On Saturday and Sunday Tom and I enjoyed two nice long Septr 24 walks, and I received a nice letter from dear Tot in high spirits, written at Elie. The wee baby was vaccinated on Friday, and has a new accomplishment that of carrying her little fist to her mouth, and another, of refusing to sleep unless in my arms. – I must try to improve. It seems to me I am degenerating in every way. Tom spoils me, and so do the rest. – I sewed most part of the evening, and took a walk up past Rensselaer by myself in the morning besides setting down my accounts and writing diary Tuesday Baby eleven weeks old. Weighs as I supposed she would, less Septr 25 than before, only 8 lbs 11 oz. Friday Yesterday I wrote to Harry and to Tot. Today is the last Septr 28 of our school. We shall set Miss Wilson up, & then P.W.'s board ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p158.jpg) will be the only constantly recurring expense of that kind. I must economise my expenditure. I am sorry that I must go to New York because I shall need more things than ever. I need a warm cloth cloak I am sorry to find, but I think I can do without a new bonnet this year, if Tom will let me, by having my old one altered. I find my collars are nearly worn out too, and I need some new ones. I will try to be neat, and make "old things look amaist as well as new." We spend a great deal, though we are not as rich as we were, and do not keep house. It won't do. Please God, we will not be dependent even if we lose our clerkship! Sunday This day four years ago Elisha returned from his first Arctic Septr 30 voyage. Where is he now! Tom and I, after our reading strolled about the place talking, and gathering chestnuts. There was a forlorn attempt to drink the health of the absent ones that broke down com- -pletely, at dinner. We heard in the evening, that Miss Wilson is provided for, thank God, so we need not fancy her suffering from the want of our employment, this winter. Monday I had to mind Harriet while Jane was at her washing, and October 1 then I paid a call on Sarah Butler with whom Bessie wanted to spend the day and brought home with me Chaucer's Canter- -bury Tales part of which I read to Tom in the evening Tuesday Baby twelve weeks old, weighs 9 lbs 13 oz. October 2nd Walter came to see us this afternoon. I do wish he would marry some nice girl, like Margaret Jones. Wednesday I took Walter a walk down the railroad, and we October 3 talked chiefly of family matters. After lunch we drove over to the Dunlap's, to ask Nanny to return to dinner. She was not at home, however. I wish dear Pat would marry her. He will not be happy as a bachelor and is getting into old bachelor ways. Dear Pat! How kind he is to me. Tom told me this evening that the post of Minister to England has been offered to the Judge. If he accepts it, we are ruined. I hope that I will be able to keep a cheerful countenance for Tom's sake. Thursday Walter & Tom went up to Fort Washington while Lizzie Mitchell October 4 Bessie and I drove up to Mrs Francis Fisher's beautiful place. Outside frowned a Penitentiary looking wall. Inside, standing at the house door you looked over a trimly kept, half lawn, half garden, slope, on woods and fields and a pretty meandering stream. He I ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p159.jpg) It was almost as if one had passed the guarded entrance and entered the great old Garden of Eden. As we came home we met the gentlemen returning and the house in the woods looked very home- -like as we came laughing and talking up the wood path. In the evening I read aloud. Friday Walter left us this morning, I had to mind October 5. the baby all the morning, and was troubled to know whether the Judge would accept. Tom brought me home a delightful budget of home letters. Saturday Such a stormy day! Tom would go up to town, October 6 and I was pretty busy. Right in the midst of a long letter to Miss Preston, in walked Tom to my delight. Cousin Mary Gray spent the day here. No word yet of the Judge's resolutions. Sunday I went to church at the Baptist meeting house October 7 but did not enjoy it much. Tom went in town. to the House of Refuge. I have been thinking over my conduct. Ugh! how bad I am! I must try to perform some of the very few duties that fall upon me, and remember "Whatsoever thou hast to do, do it with all thy might." Monday Was a delicious autumn day. Mother and I walked to Mrs Burns' October 8 farmhouse and returned laden with apples. Then I took a rusty knife, and a tin box, and spent the time before dinner in hunting curious mosses for my little winter-garden, and whose names I mean to learn if I can. Tom did not-come home till evening, and then the Judge wanted to read me an opinion which took up all my time. Tom told me that his Father had refused the office, for which I am very thankful. But we must save for Tom says a spy was sent from Washington to cut down his receipts, already very much diminished. Tuesday Today Harriet is thirteen weeks old, and weighs 10 lbs. 2 oz. October 9. Dr Betton came and vaccinated her, but it did not take I had a nice letter from Miss Preston giving me advice about Harrie. Tom went to town while Mother and I drove to call on Mrs McKean. The house I like, and the distant view, but the grounds looked exactly like Downing's ground plan. The fishpond was round, with a straight canal leading to it, and an up and down bridge. The banks were perfectly smooth and round. Catch ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p160.jpg) a stray fern there! As soon might you find an Indian encampment. Then a hard rounded road, made thoroughly well, with stone gutters wound in an exact serpentine up to the house. All the hills were rounded off smooth, and two yellow paths diverging to right and left, led in exactly the same curve round two hills thus attracting one's attention to the fact that the hills might have been bowls turned on a lathe to match each other. It put me in mind of Caroline Southey's description of a similar place where the fish-pond had a willow fringed island in its centre "for all the world like a frilled pincushion in a tureen of pea soup." Tom was busy electioneering, and caught a very bad cold. Wednesday Tom and Bess both in town. Bess brought little Miss Hayes October 10 out to stay. I trimmed a bonnet for myself! Tom wanted me to hear his father's opinion on the Passmore Williamson case again, but I had to stay with Miss Hayes Thursday Walked with Bessie and Miss Hayes over to Sarah October 11 Butler's, before lunch. Then took care of Harrie till dinner. After dinner Tom and I lay down to sleep and were roused to hear that a Mr Martin wanted Tom, While Tom dressed, I began undressing Harrie. Suddenly, Mother flew upstairs, crying—Oh, he says he thinks Elisha's in New York! What a confused joyful scene! Bessie remained with her mother in the evening, and I accom- -panied Miss Hayes to a little party where we were all to have spent the evening. Tom and Pat hurried off to meet Elisha. Just as we left Mrs Cadwalader's came a furious gust, rain, and wind, and thunder, and it was difficult to reach the house. Friday Raw and gusty in the morning. Bessie went up to town October 12. to be "near the news", while I stayed to entertain Miss Hayes. About noon it cleared, and we went out, & romped with Og. At dinner time Johnny Green came out with the newspapers. How we pounced on them! They gave us plenty of occupation in the evening. All the afternoon I was busy hanging Elisha's pictures in our room. Saturday Hard at work helping Mother who is busy house- October 13. -cleaning. At five we heard that we might expect all the boys at ten o'clock, so we had candles in every window, and a bonfire in the meadow, ready to light. I lay down to rest, and in my sleep heard ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p161.jpg) them come. I started up and warned Mother and Bess who were still in their working-dress, and while they ran down, I hastily threw on my own dress and came more slowly after them. Elisha and Johnny looked so well. Ah poor Tom, and Pat looked so worn and pale beside them! One would fancy that it was they who had been toiling and suffering in the ice. Then Tom brought them up to see Harrie, and they seemed pleased with her. There were very thankful hearts under- -neath our roof that night. Sunday A glorious day! I meant to go to church with Bessie October 14. but could not get the baby dressed in time. So I stayed at home and read to myself, and then came and listened to Elisha, and did what I could to help Mother. Aunt Ann, Evan Thomas, Mr Leiper, Robert Patterson, Dr Betton & Charley Fox, with H Wharton & Weir Mitchell, all dropped in. In the evening Elisha went off to Wash- -ington, but not before he promised to tell me how to take care of my darling Tom. It was a golden day in all our lives. Monday Johnny went to New York & Tom to town. Bessie and I October 15 walked to Grub town and back and on our return met Dr Betton who came to vaccinate little H. Wrote to Tot. Tuesday Tom at home. Walked with Bessie and myself to October 16 Branchtown, and back through the woods. Found autumn violets in the meadow. Harry fourteen weeks old. Weighs 10.11. 3/4 Read aloud to Bessie in the evening. Wednesday Poor Harry has a cold. Tom and Bessie having gone October 16 to town I pasted letters, wrote diary, etc, and watched Harry while Jane ironed. I am so sleepy. Harry has kept me awake so much since Saturday night. I see that it is best for her health that I should lead the placid — dull? No, it isn't that – life I do, for the excitement of the last few days has evidently been bad for her. I hope God will teach me to be a faithful wife, and mother, and daughter, and sister, and to do my duties as His servant. Oh, how seldom I remember that I am called by His Name. Thursday Bessie, Miss Hayes, and I, walked to Branchtown by the road, and October 17. back through the woods. Heard that Aunt Patterson has re- -turned. Johnny came home in the evening as I was writi reading aloud to the girls. He looks very well, and appears to be improved by his trip. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p162.jpg) Friday Walked with Bessie and Miss Hayes to call on the October 19 Cadwalader's, and on my return home made my first attempt at a pudding, which was as heavy as lead. Received nice cheery letters from Papa and Tot, and a very homesick one from poor dear Harry. My cold was so bad that I went to bed very early. Saturday Mother wanted my room cleaned, and instead of being October 20 obliged to her, I was as ungracious as possible about moving into Bessie's room, and let Tom think I was to be pitied, etc, etc – and so got him into a little "tiff." I'm a mean beast, and that's the truth! Tom was hard at work all day fixing Elisha's room, and when we met upstairs after tea, in the bright newly carpeted comfortable nursery I acknowledged my naughtiness. Sunday Tom was busy fixing EKK's room and I went over to help October 21 him. Then I read and learned my verses. E.K. was with Tom most part of the day. In the evening they sang hymns & I wrote to Walter. Monday 22 I don't remember anything about. Pasted EKK's slips of newspapers Tuesday 23 Wrote to Charlotte, and to Cousin M. and minded Harrie all morning. Weighed her– she is fifteen weeks old today, and weighs 10 Lb 8 3/4. Her cold has shaken her considerably. I see she recognises her bath, and knows why she is undressed. I think she begins to know strangers from friends. Heard that the Mills had been seized by the sheriff for Mr W. Leiper's debts! Wednesday Copied prayers, sewed and read, and seized the opportunity October 24 of a gleam of clear sky to ramble along Rock Run. How " beautiful the effect of the four days rain has been! At the junction of the streams, there is a plank bridge to the garden, on which I stood. Our clear Chante=Pleurs came sparkling down to meet turbid Rock Run and both together foamed in miniature rapids to the island near the bridge. Following the right bank of Chante Pleurs I came to Fern Rock. Oh, how richly covered with gray lichens, and emerald moss, and apple green thallophytes, all the rocks were! And Chante Pleurs brattled down its bed in many a tiny waterfalls, keeping up its cheery rippling song all down the valley. Overhead the sky was still gray, though one hardly felt it, so gay and bright were the autumn colours of the maple tree leaves strewing the ground beneath, while the light came richly mellowed through the golden chestnut boughs. But when I stood on the big stepping stone at the brook crossing, and looked up the dam breast to the pond to see ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p163.jpg) the mirrored trees and ferns, I saw in its placid face that the gray sky was melting into a soft hazy blue with here and there a fleecy cloud. The marks of the work that has been done,– scarred banks, and bare earth were all hidden by the leaves that the rain had washed down, and even the unsightly cart track, looked like a lovely winding woodland lane, tempting one to follow it, if there had not been even a prettier mossy footpath up the hill, bringing one unexpectedly near to this quiet still friendly, gray home of ours that scarcely intrudes upon the quiet solitude of the woods. The squirrels have forgiven us; they play quite close to the terrace, and one might almost fancy that the Drayads were coming back to their old haunts, to tend the tiny maple shoots, with their baby leaves turning to gold and crimson in emulation of the parent tree above, and contrasting so prettily with the transparent green of the pair of leaves the baby tulip trees are uplifting. Standing in front of the verandah, there can already be seen between the tree stems, a glimpse of Nice's rolling meadow land, and a green field – is it springing wheat? I am too ignorant in country life to know – I brought Tom round the valley again when he came home. In the afternoon we both took a nap and in the evening I drew Tom's big chair to the fire, and while he read I wrote this Thursday 25 Sewed, and read and minded baby. Friday 26 Went in town for the first time since June 26, four months ago, now. I went to Aunt Patterson's to hear how poor Becky was. She is very dangerously ill. The old streets looked very familiar and full of associations with dear Tom, and I felt quite glad to see the people I knew again, and to go to the Library. Coming out of town I found several gentlemen had come to dine, which was a bore, but I alas found Harrie well and lively which was pleasant. Saturday Spent in town. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p164.jpg) Here is the end of November, and I have written nothing in my diary the whole month. I spent two very pleasant weeks in New York, and then returned much better in health myself, and with a very great improvement in little Harry. While in New York my picture was painted for Papa, and I am very glad now, because I shall not have any more daguerreotypes taken, as I have stretched complaisance to its utmost limits, I think. Mr Fagnani offered to paint Tom at half price. I wish he would be persuaded to be painted that Harriet might know what a lovely face he has. And I read a little book called Hope Campbell, which will do me good I hope. Today is the 30th. Tom is not well, so he is spending the day at home, and we are going to walk together. — I have not been in the mood for writing in my diary, not because I had nothing to say but because I had too much. I have been unhappy about the question of baptising Harry, and so has dear Tom, and though I finally gave it up believing it would do us greater harm if I persisted than any good, yet Tom is still a little estranged from me. Then if I am pained by his confessing any symptom of it, I long for Mamma or Tot to confide in, and ask counsel how to act, and reflect that one is dead, and one away, and that my dearest earthly friend I cannot lean on for counsel and help in these things, I sho would show the pain, and grieve him, if it were not that I have one friend, undying, and always present, whose words I can trust. And I hope He will guide my steps, and bring us and our child to His feet. — And I worry to know whether I am doing right about the way I live, not keeping to the regular observances of the Christians round me, etc. This morning I came to the conclusion that if I properly performed the duties I have plainly before me, Christ would show me what to do about the rest. And in His hands I leave my husband, my dear dear husband. Christ knows better than I how to make him love Him. But I cannot believe that it is well for me to write these things down. I don't wish to write anything that Tom might not see, and it would grieve him to know how these things cut me. So I shall not write just now in my book Decr 16th 1855. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p165.jpg) Decr 17 Yesterday I was in town, Christmas present buying, and took wee Harry with me. She behaved sweetly. How her little mind developes! She can appreciate "This is the way the ladies go! Ride, Ride, Ride Ride!" and such things, and is wild to dance to the sound of "Wha wadna' fight for Charlie?" when they sing it to the piano for her. And she had two teeth before she was five months old. And she is darling! I met poor Mrs Olmsted my Girard Street neighbor whom I used to pity when she came a lonely, newly-married wife to live in Philadelphia, whom I used to envy after- -wards when she had a baby companion, and I was childless, and who now a childless mother is more profoundly lonely than either she or I ever were before. God grant our child's life! I have been writing some words to an air which Tom wanted to teach the House of Refuge children to sing on Christmas day. He wants me now to try to write a sort of framework of the scenery, temperature, habits of life etc of Judea, at the time our Saviour lived, in order to give them clearer associations with the little hints which the Testament gives. I have been reading Bartlett's Jerusalem to give me information, but I am afraid it is too hard a task for my powers. — I have been sewing quite a good deal lately, and correcting, or trying to correct some translations of S.B's. But I waste a very great deal of time. Today I enjoyed a good long walk with Tom, and did some sewing, but I wasted time on a novel called Cyrilla — a bad book. On Thursday I went into town with Harry to get her daguerreotype taken for Tom's Christmas present. Coming into his office he joyfully informed me that a situation as Clerk in an insurance office, with a salary of $2500. I was completely taken aback by this intelligence, which I thought very bad news much to Tom's sacrifice. It is only another warning to prepare for the West. After long discussions Tom went into town on Saturday to see the President and heard enough to convince him that it was wiser to remain where he is. But he said that the lesson was that we must not waste the time and money he now has at command. I found a letter from dear Papa enclosing $100 to buy Harry & myself Christmas presents. I was very sorry for it, for I hate to wound the dear fellow by sending it back. Tom prefers I should wait till after Christmas that Papa may not feel his kindness ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p166.jpg) rejected till afterwards. But these different things have worried me, and made me headachy and nervous, and today, though I had a lovely Sunday walk with Tom, I behaved like a coward in crossing the Ingersoll's bridge over the railroad actually screaming because Tom wished me to stand on the middle Decr 23. log and look down. And I feel quite sick now with nervousness. We had a delightful Christmas. Tom gave me a beautiful microscope, which gives me the very greatest pleasure I put a drop of pepper wine under the glass and for one moment saw Life. I tried again, and again, unsuccessfully. In that moment I saw, or fancied I saw, two living globules transfused, as the souls in Dante, were. A long snaky thing with eyes and a transparent body within which I could see motion, I saw too. — I put a lichen under the glass. For some reason I had the prismatic colours thrown on it, and I had a green rolling country with pink shadows on the hillsides and treacherous violet coloured pits, with orange rocks. – But I hope Tom will bring me out a book to show me the proper use of the Microscope. January 1 The New Year! And Tom and I are both well, 1856 so are our parents, brothers, and sisters, we have a lovely healthy baby, are not in debt, are very happy, and certainly love each other no less than we did yesterday twelvemonth! A pleasant summary! May God give us strength and will to do our duty this year! I found we had spent less than we feared this year. $3320. I hope this year to spend only $2,000 February 12 All last month the snow lay heavy on the ground, and though it is thawing now the sky threatens another snowstorm. I have been entirely at home, very happy, and very busy. Tom has been hard at work on Elisha's book, and has been better in health than any winter since his marriage. Our baby thrives wonderfully, can say "Mamma" and look towards any one who is named before her. She misses her father, who is now at Harrisburg; looking constantly at the door, and then to his pillow – and all round the room. I received a letter from dear Tot, which has given me much anxiety. It is as follows. No it is too long to copy. But she said substantially, that she could not go back to live in 16th street, & that if she could have a home with us she would be thankful ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p167.jpg) Otherwise she must stay with Aunt Mary. I wrote to assure her of a home with us, and also tried to see if there were any plan by which Walter and she, Harry Nell and Willie might live together. But Papa said No she must live in Sixteenth Street, and on the 25th Walter engaged himself to a Miss Redmond, so my plan was knocked on the head. I wish Tot, Tom, Helen and I lived together, but God knows best. March 2 I get no time to write in my diary I work at my needle a great deal and try to improve my mind. Baby still well and strong. Poor Tom working himself to death writing E's book. Today, I hope the spring thaw really commences. March 3 I went into town today; it was raw and cold. Dearest Baby grows charming and is music mad. last night she was up late insisting on Tom's playing on & on March 4. Tom received news today that the $30.000 which he lately went to Harrisburg to obtain for the House of Refuge was secured. I also had a letter from my new sister every way pleasing. Mr and Mrs Fisher spent the evening with us. Old Mr Taylor died in the afternoon March 5 Went into town, and Tom took me to McAllister's to look at a polariscope which I enjoyed very very much. Afterwards I trotted about shopping till train time. March 6 Rode over to Germantown. Read some of Macaulay's History. March 7 Went to town — shopping — Read and darned and minded wee Harry. March 8 I minded Harry this morning till one o'clock. It was a delicious bracing day, and thawing fast. Tom, the Judge and I walked to Oak Lane on the railroad. Coming home Tom slighted the idea that I had seen green along a brook on the 6th as the ground is so hard frozen, but I found some leaves pushing Leaves of grass or clover, I mean. Read Lardner's book on Light in the evening. Mr Taylor the Head of the Mormon Church east of the Rocky Mountains and the William Kimball, a pleasant looking fellow – son of Heber C. Kimball, and on his return from an English Mission dined with us today. How nice it is to see people so different ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p168.jpg) from oneself. Like that fascinating book Mauprat it stirs one up to avoid the "set gray life, and apathetic end." My little pet has not been well for two or three days but looks better this afternoon. She says "Mamma" "Og" "Dada" and "Nany," can shake "day day" & "Tirorchees" (childish accomplishments, but something for a baby not yet eight months old!) and is violently éprise of Mr Dallas' picture, which she can show you when asked for, as well as knowing her doll, Og, and the whole household. I think she is bright. March 12 Harry was eight months old on the 10th. Today is bright, clear and windy. I wish business wd begin on the river! We are losing a large portion of our income, and are slipping behindhand in our board. I thought we should have all that we owed of it paid off by May. But at present we are really in need of ready money. I am glad we are not keeping house for we should be in a tight place. Oh if I cd only earn money! Tom is so busy on E's book that he can't do anything else. E— will probably be renowned in the story of this generation, while Tom will not be known. Yet Tom perfectly unselfish, never requiring a service from any one, but always working for others, never spending either time or money on his own gratification — only wanting money to spend in doing good; bearing sickness so patiently, and working for others through it – a model of complete self denial, self abnegation — is as superior to E. as light to darkness. All is not gold that glitters! March 18 Spring coming! Blue birds singing and all the streams full. Mosses and one or two leaves green We were at the House of Refuge where Tom has set Bessie to teaching the girls to sing. He says they do her great credit. I had a letter from Walter enclosing Sabina's picture which I like very much. Tom slipped on the hillside in the afternoon and hurt his foot very much March 19. Woke this morning to see every twig loaded with snow. It is full five inches deep! Tom wd go to town. I hope he will not suffer for it. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p169.jpg) April 1st I really meant to write diary regularly, and yet the days Tuesday slip away unnoted. I suppose I have idled all my time though I don't like to think so. Since I wrote here last I copied "Morton's Journey" for Tom turning the first person into the third, and altering a sentence here and there. On Monday Bess and I hearing that Miss Lyons the clergyman's sister was sick, so we called on her. The house is a little two story one, two rooms above, and a parlor and kitchen below. Miss Lyons opened the door for us and we stepped at once into the little parlor. The carpet was up, the floor newly washed, and the poor little bookcase whose doors had been thrown open with innocent pride on the occasion of our former visit, was now taken to pieces and lying on the floor. We were shown into the little kitchen — one no larger than our Girard Street one, and with a low sloping roof. Never- -theless it was as "clean as the eye", and several healthy looking plants stood in the brightest of red pots on one sill of the tiny windows. The other had a few earthen- -ware dishes on it. A very few narrow shelves sufficed to contain the scanty array of pots and kettles, and a tiny little cooking stove bore a kettle. It was near eleven, and there was a strong smell of soap and water, but none of meat or savory onions, nothing more appetizing than the odor of wet floor in the next room. Miss L– had a very bad sore throat, she said. We suggested that it was an unfavorable time to commence the spring cleaning, and she told us they were going away. "Brother" had felt since last summer that there was not that witness of the Spirit which he desired, and had made up his mind that he ought to go. " Before he men- -tioned it however, the elders had requested him to leave. — Tom made me leave off writing there, and here is the 16th! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p170.jpg) 12th May Tom went to Washington early this morning, on business of EKK's 1856 and so my twentieth birthday passed without him. We were so sorry to miss both the May party and this anniversary. I was very busy till I went over to Germantown (where Papa and C. M. are spending a week) and we took a little drive returning on account of her baby. I took mine over dressed in a white cashmere talma, a cap trimmed with white ribbons with a pink streamer. She looked charming dear pet, but Grandmamma begged to be allowed to take her to see some friends instead of going to the Cocoonery. I sat a long while before dinner talking to Papa, he talking about C. a great deal. He says he wrote to her asking her if she would live with Walter, and she replied in the negative. But for shyness I think he would have asked us to take her. About Nell's coming he appeared to have made his mind up for the whole time we were in the mountains. He wanted me to name something I would like as a birthday gift. I told him Tom gave me every wish the minute I expressed it, and that I really could not think of anything I wanted except Tom's health. Their meals were as good as ever they said, and poor Chalmers was eating and sleeping better than usual, and the boys were as happy as kings with some chickens. The Judge drove over for me to invite Papa to go to a steamboat feast tomorrow. We reached home just in time to see Bess off. After tea I wrote a note to Tom, and went to bed early. Tuesday Directly after breakfast set to work in the garden with May 13. O'Neill according to my dear boy's directions. After finishing as much as I could and dressing Harry I wrote diary in expectation of the Judges C.M's coming. After she came we drove round past Mrs Rowland's and home by a round about way. Then I took her a walk round the garden, and along the Judge's new walk. After that she lay down & slept till dinner which lasted till nearly time for her to return home. After undressing baby, Nelly and I talked and read till bed-time. Oh how I wish my sweetheart were here! Wednesday Went to the garden and overlooked O'Neill. Then dressed May 14 Harry, wrote diary, was called off to superintend the planting of some flowers from Mr Ingersoll's in the terrace bed, and then began to wonder what I could do to please my boy when he comes home. So I pasted in our dried flowers ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p171.jpg) in the "Wood Leaves." Then we drove over to the Cocoonery where we dined and I drove them a short distance up the Wissahickon new turnpike, going down School Lane and returning by Rittenhouse. I tried to explain the Polarisation of Light to Papa, and he said my explanation was clear enough but that he did not quite understand it. I know why! I don't understand it perfectly myself. That is the secret of the difference between good & bad explainers. On our return I found a pencil note from my own dear boy. God bless him! (I forgot to say that Papa had been at Mc Allisters looking at a Polariscope, not the one I saw apparently which may have helped to confuse my explanation) I employed my evening in reading Spenser, that is to say reading about Una, the only character I care much for. Besides which I kept by Helen, and got the Judge to require J.P.G's services as the young people showed rather a disposition to flirt. J.P.G. showed that he had very long eyelashes, and could have quite a soft expression of eye. Little monkeys! Thursday Put wee Harry into short frocks, and helped May 15. Mother in her preparations for the company she expects tonight. Wrote diary. Sunday This is our first Sunday in the Back Woods of Pennsylvania. July 6th We meant to read immediately after breakfast, but Mr Wilcox came in and talked to Tom so we put off for awhile. Then we learned a Psalm each, Helen and I, and when we had finished Tom came in and we had church. Afterwards we walked to the woods behind the house, and sat awhile on logs round a smoke for fear of the gnats. I feel that it was very well we brought Nelly with us. I do not know anything that seemed more unlikely than her being allowed to come when I proposed it, and I hope God will make it do her good. Change, she certainly needs. — We came here quite curiously ourselves. Tom was invited to go in his father's place to look at some lands of which the Judge is part owner. He thought that if he could find a good place we would stay there. He was so well up here that he determined to come here, and persisted, though they did not want to take boarders. When he came home I resolved that our only chance of getting off was to fix a day and start on it ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p172.jpg) the Book was finished or no. Well was it that we did so. For Tom worked so hard that he brought on one of his attacks and we were forced to start on Tuesday the 24th instead of the 23rd. He was anxious to stay in order to help his father, but the heat was telling upon us all, so I was obstinate, and off we set. We saw Trenton Falls and we came having made a long detour in order to see it, and felt rewarded for it by the intense joy it gave us. Afterwards we came through the Lake Country of New York, very lovely, but we suffered from the heat, and the dreadful jolting of the cars. Our route from home was as follows. New York, Albany by boat, Utica, Trenton Falls, Utica, Canandaigua, Elmira, Olean – by railroad. Olean we reached quite spent with fatigue on Saturday night. We spent a pleasant Sunday there. It was warm but a cool breeze blew all day. We heard a very good sermon. On Monday morning we set off in a stage for Smithport, which we reached after a beautiful wild drive of some 26 miles. We dined at a farmhouse on the road where the "Irish lady" Jane, was treated with much distinction. At Smithport we eat venison caught that very afternoon. Quite different from anything I ever knew by that name before, this was delicious. We had the same cool breeze blowing, but the over fatigue of the week was too much for Tom and he had another attack of pain. I got him to sleep however, and next morning he insisted on proceeding. We left our luggage to follow us, and started in a well hung wagon with two good horses on a twenty mile drive here. We came through the most beautiful wild forests up mountains and along valleys without a clearing for miles, and at last reached here. Here is Judge Wilcox's, a one story house with two attic rooms 2200 ft above the sea, on the summit of a hill on the dividing line between Elk & McKean Counties. We are in Elk. The clearing is a large one 200 acres. There is a house belonging to his nephew on it also. There are a great many wolves, dear etc in the surrounding forest. A bear was seen last week a mile from the house, & one killed the week before two miles away. Our accommodations are small but very clean, and they make us very comfortable. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p173.jpg) [small sketch of ground plan with room numbers, upper left hand corner] This is the ground plan. 1 woodshed. 21/2 Kitchen shed with 2 pantry opening on it 3 Kitchen 4 curtained recess for the manservant. 5 dining room. 6 parlor, 7 Mrs W's room near the stair case. 8 my room. 9 Helen's opening on 10 the piazza. We were all so fatigued with our long journey that yesterday was our first exploration. We drove up the road to an abandoned clearing over which we went till we reached a forest. Here we hitched the horse and then went strolling about admiring the noble trees, and then Tom made a smoke for us, and we sat down to rest on the trunk of a fallen maple 76 feet long. In the evening Mr & Mrs W. baby and Helen got into their wagon, Tom and I following with the Rosinante we hired at Smithport, and paid a visit to our nearest right hand neighbor the man who keeps the post office. Helen played on a fine melodeon they had, and then we had a delightful drive home. This afternoon we spent quietly, taking a lovely stroll after our early tea. We walked down the road towards little Williamsville, stopping to look at a little roadside graveyard where Mr Wilcox's daughter lies. There was a marble headstone for her. All the other graves were only marked by a wooden slab. We crossed into a clearing commanding one of the most beautiful views in the world. The hill on which we stood sloped into a valley through which the road winds. The smoke of some settler's clearing curled up into the fresh evening air between us and the village which lay just on the edge of the woods. An amphitheatre of tree clothed mountains encompassed the valley; apparently coming forward at the extreme north and south to meet the ridge on which we stood. The shadows of the more prominent hills were thrown on the more receding ones. Here and there the hill- tops opening showed glimpses between them of successive mountain ranges rolling on into a blue distance. Above us a few rosy clouds floated in the deep blue sky, and a hawk sailed screaming by quickening his indolent flight now and then by flapping his wings quickly. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p174.jpg) Monday This morning early Mr Wilcox called us to drive with July 7 him up a grassy road in the woods which we en- -joyed very much. We saw a beautiful white flower whose name I must find out. Wrote a long letter to Aunt Mary wrote diary, studied Combe, and taught Helen. It was almost dark by this time, so I sat down on the steps by a root of the white flower which I planted in the garden, and proceeded to discover its name in the Flora. It is the Dalibarda, and grows abundantly in the woods in the same situations as the Partridge Berry, and is in flower at the same time. I mean to try to transplant some roots of it to Fern Rock, as well as a root of the poison Elder. Our Elder has a black fruit, and is sweet. This has a brilliant coral berry contrasting very beautifully with its dark green leaves. We found two other beautiful flowers for Fern Rock — I found out their names: Pla- -tanthera and Epilobium, and three varieties of Club Moss. There is a luxuriant growth of Ferns and Mosses, but I have seen similar ones at home. The only new plant besides the ones I have named, of which I know the name, is called the Witch Hopple. It entangles itself round the feet of a horse in passing through the woods, and is very troublesome. It bears a large black berry sickeningly sweet. I found also a rose colored Yarrow, and a purple flowered Thimbleberry, new to Tom though I have seen it elsewhere. Our June roses are still in bloom up here. Tom wrote to E.K.K. We drove up to the Post Office and found papers but no letters. The old horse we hired at Smethport is so obstinate and stupid that Tom can hardly drive him. Tuesday It does my heart good to see how my wee birdie July 8. flourishes here. So firm and round-limbed, so white and pink, and so clear-eyed and merry! May God spare her to us, and help us to be faithful friends to her. She eats and sleeps well in this air. This morning Judge Wilcox, his wife, Tom, Helen and I started on a seven mile ride to Buena Vista where Mr Alonzo Wilcox and his wife Lovisa, and her sister Almira live. We went in what is here called a light buggy. It is really a long cart, two seated, very well hung, and has a skin ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p175.jpg) thrown over the seats. We were drawn by two capital mares, one of whom the kind souls were taking over to be shod that we might drive her in place of our old Rosinante. They told us a very pretty anecdote about "Dolly." [illegible deletion] Being a first rate saddle horse they lent her to Lovisa who is fond of riding, and she petted her a great deal. Last winter Alonzo Lovisa and "Dolly" started in a cutter over a very icy road. The cutter broke some thing or other which made its weight come on Dolly terrifying her very much, and at last making her run away. Lovisa spoke soothingly to her, and she would attempt to stop, but was too terrified. Finally they allowed themselves to roll out in the snow, Dolly disappearing down the road, the cutter breaking to pieces as she flew along. They followed on foot, and had not proceeded half a mile when Dolly came trotting back having missed them, and coming up to Lovisa laid her head down on her shoulder. When we were about halfway to Buena Vista, it began to pour, and rained all day long. So we had to defer our visit to the mill – pond – woods etc and stay quietly in the house while the horse was shod. Even on this leaden day Buena Vista looked pretty. It was a small valley quite shut in by peaked mountains covered with forest. The valley is bristling with stumps still, and its stream, the West Clarion is dammed up into quite a pretty sheet of water with logs floating on it down to the sawmill whose blue smoke and gray steam curled straight upwards. There are about houses all of Mr Wilcox's employees. They are of unpainted boards except his own, and the blacksmiths which are white one story and a half high. In Mr Wilcox's there were two good sized parlors a tiny bedroom two good kitchen rooms, and a large pantry on the groundfloor, two good sized rooms and three pigeon holes in the half story besides good storerooms below. It cost $1500; They said that Mr W. regretted its not being two stories. It rained as I said before, all day long, so after dinner I took a long sleep, and slept off the cold I had caught in the morning. We learned our lessons ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p176.jpg) after tea, and went to bed early. Wednesday Rained in the early forenoon. It was so chilly that July 9 as soon as the rain ceased Tom and I were glad to start off on a brisk walk to warm ourselves. At a lonely wild spot in the woods we came upon a man dressed in a snuff colored dress-coat with gilt buttons, much the worse for wear, and a coarse cotton shirt with a large patch in the bosom. His dark face was covered with a bristly growth, and I felt quite as if he were a brigand, as he came suddenly toward us. What could he want with us? When "rarsberry" time came would we come up to his clearing a berrying? Just back of him was the best place for rarsberries, the black ones, in the whole neighborhood. Besides, did we "know Mr Wailer in Filadelfy?" "No." "Why, don't you live in the city!" "Yes, but we don't know him. What's his occupation?" "Well, he follows draying." So we left our well-meaning, uncouth-looking friend, and went on to that hill with the lovely view, to watch the rain-clouds rolling back from the darkened mountains opposite, in heavy lead-gray masses. One rift of light in the distant sky, just brought into relief a mass of dark forest trees on the [-] mountain ridge, with a shallow valley opening towards us, its hither end still overshadowed! What a beautiful place that hillside is! I would so much like to have a wee house there. Tom was asking me how I would like to rent such a place as this for the summer. Nell did not get on very well with her lessons this afternoon. I am grieved about her. She and I drove with Mrs W. up to the post office for letters. There were magazines from E.K.K. papers from Mr Heazlitt, and a letter for me from Papa, besides 12 letters for Helen from a foolish little school girl. So we had plenty of letters for reading for the evening. Also this is 20 of 40. Thursday My radiant little Harry's birthday. God bless her! July 10 Dear Tom not having suffered from a long walk he took to meet us last night started off after our early breakfast with Judge W. and was gone till after three. He must have walked over 5 miles beside a long drive. I had a little back ache so while not minding Harry I lay down and rested. I also ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p177.jpg) wrote a long letter to Mother about Harry. Tom says he counted the rings on a pine tree in the forest, and found it 580 years old, growing during the wars of the Roses. He brought me back this pretty little moss. In the evening, I wrote to Lucy Wickham a letter about her health, as she requested. Friday Rode to the nearest wood, and strolled about in the shade for July 11th a short time in the morning. Read Cooper's Physicians' Vade Mecum sewed and minded Harry. After our early dinner Tom started off to Smethport. We accompanied him halfway, Harry, Helen, Mrs W, and the Judge, in their "buggy" Tom and in our rickety chaise. We were pretty well fatigued when we reached home at half past six, and dear little Harry evidently missed Tom. She cried for half a mile after he was out of sight, and tried to show me where he had gone. Saturday We miss Tom very much. I wonder if he will come July 12 home this evening. Helen and I took a little stroll this morning, but found it too warm to go far. I altered her dress for her, mended some things of my own, read a good deal of Lamartine's History of the Restoration, and wrote a little note home. Had a letter from Mother saying that the Book was finished at last on Wednesday the 3rd July. All well at home. Nelly heard from Papa — all well there, but the children had not been quite well. Charlotte wrote Papa from Killin in the Highlands. She was very well much the better for her trip, so was Harry and dear Will was a week over the anniversary of his last fit. Nelly and I spent an hour and more this afternoon in looking at a snake fascinating a rabbit. I never would have believed what I have heard of this fascination if I had not seen it. Tom came home tired but well bringing two men with him. So there was a dreadfully dull evening. Sunday Tom and the two men went off to New Flanders. July 13 Helen and I went with the Wilcox's to the little log chapel of the Catholics here. The service being in Latin and the sermon in German I derived but little benefit. Took a nap after dinner being worn out, then wrote to Bessie and wrote diary & read the Bible with Helen. – How discontented and bad I am. Instead of sitting here this lovely evening enjoying all the sweet country smells and sounds from the whir of the humming bird in this tuft of lilies to the sweet singing of the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p178.jpg) the birds and the tinkling of the far off cowbells, and watching this mellow sky, and the deep soft green of the hemlock forest, thankful for the mountain breeze and the health we all enjoy, I am just fidgetting for something else. I am just in that detestable mood which in a young girl makes herself fancy that she is a "femme incomprise." In me who know myself beloved so thoroughly, and supposed so much better than I am, the devil takes a different aspect. I feel as if I would give so much to escape all that lies before me, and wish to let myself think about it which I know can only do me harm. "Strength is promised, strength is given When by grief the heart is riven. But foredate the day of woe, And alone thou bear'st the blow." Another thing, I must not let myself build airy homes. I have a home where I have duties, and where I know we are best. Let me make the best of it! I hope God will give me a little more strength that I may be able to exert myself more to make the dear people happy when I go home. And I must try to keep my especial domains neater, and make our room a bright cheerful inner home for my own dear dear Tom. How I miss him tonight! I thought he would come home when I began to write this evening and I left off to walk down the road the way I hoped he would come. But he did not, and poor Mrs Wilcox after haunting me about for sometime came out in a burst to ask my advice about her health. Fortunately, I knew what to order. Today I began giving Harry bread in her milk. Stayed on the piazza talking to Judge W. till 1/2 past 8. still trying to catch the far off sounds of horses feet. But I suppose my boy found it important to stay. God bless him! Monday I was aroused by a voice calling my name last night July 14. and found Tom standing among the rose bushes outside my window in the moonlight. He told me to listen to the wolves howling but I could not hear them. Studied as usual and in the afternoon rode to the Post Office No I didn't study I minded Harry, and copied. Letters from Pat, and the Judge. Was sick and feverish. Tuesday In bed almost all day. Mr & Mrs Wilcox Jr spent the July 15 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p179.jpg) afternoon. Wrote my usual copy in the evening. Wednesday Finished a letter to Tot, wrote diary minded Harry July 16 and took a little drive before dinner. Tom has a new horse that we liked very well. A tall well formed handsome brazen-faced Somerset- -shire gipsy stepped in at the open door, ostensibly to ask us to buy baskets. She offered to tell our fortunes in the usual style. If Mother were here she would tell my fortune in summary fashion for a frightened bird just now flew in here as I sat alone, and that, Mother would say, means "Death within a year." This was a very warm day, and I felt so exhausted that I stayed at home while Tom and Nell went to the post office in the evening There was a most gorgeous sunset, and then the moon almost at the full rose from those beautiful forests. Tom brought a letter from his father, no particular news in it, except that Lady Franklin is still worrying at Elisha. Thursday Tom went off on horseback six miles into the woods July 17 returning just as dinner was put on the table. In the meantime I wrote to E. for Tom. After dinner took a nap as usual. Then studied from 3 to 5 also as usual, and after tea we set off on a forest drive through the woods back of our clearing. The road was an Elk Co affair. The trees are cut down, and burnt, and — that's all! So we drove into the deep silent forest, coming out at the distance of a mile or so upon a little clearing. A German woman came out to help Tom to take down the bars and let us pass through, accompanied by two little girls and a baby. We went up a hill above this settlement in order "to see where we were." We stood overlooking the West Clarion valley, two screens of forest covered mountain and a distant mountain background. In the foreground a cleared field, tall purple spikes of Epilobium rising among the black stumps, and a solitary tree left when its companions were cut down and with a trunk 100 80 feet high without a branch. From its leafy top birds were circling out into the sky, secure from any risk of shot in their high nests. And what a strange sky! The sinking sun was behind us on our left, and from the misty orange of the West streamed up ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p180.jpg) a great ribbon of pure blue, until it melted in the azure lift overhead. The zodiacal lights! But Tom said he had never seen them so distinct. On our right lay the valley in which the settlement was, and into which we now began to descend. As we passed the German woman's house one of the little girls ran out with true courtesy, a bou- -quet in each hand for Helen and myself. Before we left the clearing, we paused again to look round, and wish we could photo- -graph the scene. This strange sunset streaming down the valley, and lighting up the two picturesque log huts and their flaxen haired inhabitants from the fat fair baby to the old white capped grandame at the cottage door, only to throw into more solemn shadow the forest gorge into which we were entering with the red cattle coming slowly home. It was so beautiful! We were a long time coming down the valley, so that when we reached Williamsville at its foot it was twilight. Winding slowly up the long hill on whose top we live, and up which poor Tom and Nell dragged on foot, we had every now and then a beautiful view of the dark mountains, the lurid light still resting on their tops while the little Clarion glancing up from its winding bed in the valley made gleams of light in the blue mist that was rising and enfolding the little village with its one street in the very centre of which a man sat coolly milking his cow. No one wondered. Why? Because there were but three houses in the village besides his tavern, and he is the aristocrat, and sets the fashion. Friday A lovely day brisk and bracing, so we set off on a July 18 long drive. Three miles to Brown's, then turning off we plunged into a swampy wood. I fancied yesterday's road a bad one, but this was the most curious specimen of the kind I ever traversed. We crossed root after root, dipped into deep mudholes stumbled over stumps, crossed logs, and finally Tom thought we must have mistaken the road, and went forward to reconnoitre leaving N us in charge of the horse. We sat on mossy logs amusing ourselves with bombastic accounts of what we should ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p181.jpg) do were a wolf or bear to come upon us. It was very pleasant watching the sunlight flickering on the giant tree trunks and gathering our hands full of strange ferns and mosses only to throw them away for others. Tom did not return for a long while, and then came back faint and weary, having found the hut we were in search of and bought three chickens at the immense cost of 12 1/2 cents each. He was so tired that we made him lie on a log with his head in my lap while I repeated Titania's reproach to Oberon which I learned on Wednesday while they were away. We reached home just in time for dinner, then came sleep study hour and tea, and then Helen drove me to the post office. A letter to us from Mrs Kane saying she and the Judge were going to the Virginia Springs, and several text books on Botany for Helen from Miss Haines. Wrote diary in the evening. Saturday We were under engagement to spend this day July 19 at Buena Vista, and so started though the lowering clouds betokened a rainy day. Mr and Mrs Wilcox and Helen preceded us in a wonderful rattletrap drawn by two young mares, their colts trotting behind. Tom and I waited until nine o'clock but as a drizzling rain seemed determined not to stop we started off in spite of it, and at the end of two miles it stopped quite suddenly, and when we reached Buena Vista the blue sky was peeping out in every direction. Mr Alonzo Wilcox came out to meet us in a white vest. Mrs Lovisa wore a fine French calico made wrapper fashion and her sister a white sprigged muslin skirt, black silk jacket edged with worsted blonde, and black boots. The gentlemen went off at once to see the mill, and the ladies soon went to attend to their household duties. So we looked over a couple of novels till dinner time. The dinner was really capital. Coffee and Ice Water to drink, venison killed for us the preceding evening, mashed potatoes – and served up in separate saucers as rare dainties, green peas and beets, Fresh bread and butter just from the churn, new cheese, fruit pie, pudding ice cream, and black raspberries and cream with fresh ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p182.jpg) pound cake and sponge cake completed the dinner, which was served by the ladies of the house, and prepared by them too. After dinner we were taken to see their steam saw mill but what looked prettiest was their little river brattling over its stony bed in the mountain gorge with a great pile of waste pine slabs burning on the shore. I was very tired, and dear Tom drove me home very carefully. We went to bed early. Sunday Nell and I passed a very pleasant quiet Sunday. July 20 We walked out both morning, and evening, and held our little church together. Tom rode over to Marvin on horseback, and returned in the evening too tired to sleep. He brought a young fox along with him which a hunter shot just as he was passing. A porcupine quill through the roof of its mouth showed it had been trying to eat an in- -digestible morsel. Monday Tom and Helen went out on horseback. Nelly's July 21 first ride. I walked a little way to meet them as they returned. Read to Tom, wrote to Bess, wrote diary before dinner. After dinner and study hour, & tea, Nelly drove Mrs Wilcox to the Post Office, and we took a stroll. They brought a letter to me from Papa saying that Walter is to be married on the 24th Sept. He also sent Tom Lord Cockburn's Life. Tuesday Helen and I went over to Brown's after breakfast, as Tom July 22 heard last night that a letter written to him from Smethport had never come. I drove there, and turned, Nell driving back, and we failed in getting the letter. Lessons as usual, and between breakfast and dinner I copied three letters for Tom, and finished one to Bessie Kane. In the evening Tom and I walked together, and afterwards I read Midsummer Night's Dream aloud, till bed time. Wednesday Tom rested so well, and "felt so smart" that he July 23 determined to start after dinner for Phila instead of waiting till tomorrow. I was dressed early, and got several pages of copying done before nine. Mended Tom's clothes, and packed and minded baby. When the stage passed they heard told us that a fearful accident had happened on the N.P.R.R. near Fort Washington, Father Sheridan and about 70 others burned & mashed to death. One conductor killed, the other poisoned himself. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p183.jpg) Well, Tom went off, so we set to studying to keep us from missing him. At tea time we received letters from Eng- -land and the papers and a little note from Tom to say he was well so far, with a leaf from the swamp where he came to meet us the first day we drove alone. Then Nelly and I walked together. We deter- -mined to go a little bit further every day, as we got accustomed to it, taking the water breaks as distance marks. After we got home we sat on the piazza till past eight o'clock talking to the Judge. Then we went in and I read "The Taming of the Shrew" to Helen till nine. Then we had prayers and went to bed. Thursday Slept horribly, that is to say, not at all, as poor Nell July 25. x tossed about and talked so in her sleep that I 24 resolved to sleep alone in future. After minding Harry awhile wrote to Cousin Margaret and Tom. By the bye I don't know whether I mentioned that we were beginning to make a change in Harry's diet, introducing farinaceous food. I also insist upon her lying on the floor nearly all day, and letting her try to reach out for her toys. She ought to creep by this time, and it is cruel kindness to carry her always as we do. How nice it would be if she could creep when Tom comes home. I suppose I must not expect that however. — Nell read aloud till dinner while I sewed, Kingsley's "Heroes". After dinner tried to sleep in vain till study hour. I always write a copy, study some medical book, and botany. Nelly writes, learns botany, and arithmetic, French and spelling. Then comes tea. After tea when it grows a little cool, we walk, then sit on the piazza playing with Harry till she goes to bed. Last night I read to Helen "The Forsaken Merman" and Tennyson's "Sleeping Beauty", besides our quota of Shakspere. Then came prayers and bed. I fear poor Tom will suffer dreadfully with the heat, though a note I had from him says he is very well still. Friday Slept well. Put the rooms in order, swept the July 26x parlor, minded Harry and after putting her to 25 sleep wrote diary. Began Cockburn's "Reminiscences of His own Times." Nell came in and she then read aloud while I sewed till dinner time. It was too warm to pretend to sleep so I read till study hour. After lessons were over our letters came. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p184.jpg) Three were for Helen from her friend Miss Jay, two business letters for Tom, two home ones for him, and one for me from Bessie. She had read my letter to Lucy, and was pleased. I hope it may be of service to L. Nell and I walked a little way down the lane past the churchyard and I talked to her in order to dissipate the annoyance I felt at the news our letters gave, that all the home people would be gone to Virginia when poor tired Tom reaches there, and that he would find the Pattersons there instead. I talked to Mrs Wilcox nearly all the evening, and told Nelly she must let me off from Shakspere. She wanted to sleep with me again this night. I commenced a letter to dear Tom, from whom I received a little note, not dated, but evidently written the day. before. He says he is well. I hope so, dear fellow! Saturday Helen and the Judge went off black-raspberrying and were July 27 x gone till half past twelve. Last night I slept little, being 4. mos 27 troubled about little Harry who had a bad dream ap- -arently and cried for a long time. At last I went up and took her. She was pacified at once and slept quietly all the rest of the night. But I kept fancying I heard her, and thinking about little Willy, and planning how to accommodate ourselves best at Fern Rock. I'll try! This morning, I darned a little, finished my letter to Tom, read all the papers, played with Harry, and tidied the rooms before dinner. After dinner sewed on Nelly's worsted work, studied, and read a dear little note Tom contrived to send me. Poor fellow, he is in Philadelphia now, tired and disappointed enough. God bring him back safe, and prosper his work while he is absent. — Walked in the evening, and played with Harry. Then helped Nell, or rather watched her find out a flower. It was my old friend the Linaria Vulgaris which has a very dear association to me. Finished "Taming of the Shrew," read prayers, and so to bed. Sunday Read the Morning Service, wrote diary, and succeeded July 28.x in getting Miss Harry to stand up by a chair for an incon- 27 -ceivably short space of time. This day seven weeks I hope dear Tot will arrive. Oh how I long to see her! Perhaps it will be wiser not to ask for her till Christmas is over! Can I wait so long? This is the last Sunday in July, and as yet my dear Tom is well. Oh Heavenly Father, keep him under the shadow of Thy wings, safe from the fierce heats. Bless his work ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p185.jpg) and help him with it, and give him quiet rest at night, and may no troubles fret his spirit! Bring him back in safety, for Christ's sake! Oh, dear Tom; how great danger you are in there, but I hope, "The Lord thee keeps, the Lord thy shade, On thy right hand doth stay The moon by night thee shall not smite Nor yet the sun by day." I hope He will take care of me, too, and give me strength for the coming time, bad and ungrateful as I am. But little one, you must not think I don't love you, I am only afraid you won't be very strong or bright! — Today I copied into my diary the pages on which I had written a year ago today. Baby Harry was not quite three weeks old, and I had been having a long conversation with Tom about a visit he proposed to pay to Utah. Recalling now how despondingly I thought about it, I was surprised to find how the wonderful effect of the mountain air upon Tom has changed my opinions about going West. I would like best to live in Phila with a summer home here. But if he were sure he would be as well in the Far West, and have something to live on or be able to work, I should not find it so painful as I fancied. Still it seems plainly our duty to stay in Phila during the winters as long as his parents live. They would be very lonely without us. If they can give us a little more elbow room it would be nice, but if not I will try to make my dearie as comfortable as I can, and at least not grumble if I cannot do so. We cannot afford to put any money down there in the way of enlarging the house. We must first be quite clear of debt, and then anything we can save must go to providing a home for the future, or be laid by for the children's education. This is quite clear to me. Monday I think yesterday was the longest I ever spent. I had July 29 but one Sunday Book besides my Bible. So I read three of Arnold's sermons after I had finished writing here, and then I was pretty tired. It was too warm to walk or lie down and we dawdled about seeking a breath of air in vain. After sunset we started out to take a little walk and had to turn back to receive ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p186.jpg) Miss Mary Ann Brown the little schoolmistress. She was dressed in pink muslin, a brown cape, wide straw hat with a light blue ribbon and rode on a man's saddle. She looked very pretty indeed. After she went away just after dark a whole cavalcade of people on their way to Smethport stopped here. One of them a Mr Rhodes was anxious to be polite and hoped Mr Kane would call on him if he came to Smethport. Just at bed time I discovered that Helen was in the habit of sleeping in her little room with both windows shut, and as she utterly refused to keep them open saying she was afraid of wolves, I let her sleep in my room. However the night was so close that I could not get her room thoroughly aired, and consequently felt giddy and headachey all day. I forgot to say that we have plenty of fresh meat again. Partridge, fawn, and trout. I mended Tom's clothes and put his trunk into com- -plete order. Read part of "Cockburn's Memorials." After dinner lay down awhile, and then wrote diary till study hour. The "mail" stopped just now to say there was no use sending for our letters as the driver had forgotten the bag at Smethport. I shall not be much disappointed as I could not hear from Tom, and the writers of the family are all away. It is an amusing thing to think of "the mails" between the county towns of Elk & McKean being forgotten. Study hours today were as usual, writing a copy, learning botany (Nell hears me mine, and I hear hers, so we both benefit, as we study dif- -ferent books) then I read attentively some Med- -ical book. I am reading "Tucker's Midwifery" and I am not sure whether I shall finish it. It is rather too specific for me as yet, and I want something more general. I shall go back to "Smith's Compend," or that "Vade Mecum" I think. — After tea, Helen went to ride on horseback with the Judge, and had quite a dis- -agreeable adventure. I walked as far as the brow of the hill, with Jane and Harry. In the evening we sat on the piazza talking ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p187.jpg) with the Wilcox's and Nell sang for them. When we went into the parlor I read some of Tennyson to Helen and Mrs W. Then prayers and bed. Last night I had a strange dream. I seemed Tuesday to be dreaming pleasantly when a voice that July 30 I fancied Tot's or Tom's, rang sharply through 29x the room utteringb a scream that woke me up with my heart beating violently. I never heard before of dreaming a scream in a dream. – Raining hard this morning. Sewed Nell's worsted-work, wrote to Tom, wrote diary. I was thinking last night how quickly I forget to be grateful to God, and don't thank Him for granting blessings. I was earnest enough in desiring and asking for when they seemed hard to obtain. This place, suited to our desires in every way, I hardly thank Him for, and yet I remember how thankful I fancied I should be if Tom could get any place fit for us at all. Then I prayed God to guide him, if a residence in the mountains would benefit him, to the best place for us. And how wisely we were guided! Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me! — Read more of "Cockburn". It is curious to see how strongly Judge Grier's character seems to be fore- -shadowed in some of the old lawyers of whom Cockburn treats. Learned a hard lesson in the "Compend" today. Some people from Nunda stayed here all night; let them have Helen's room, she sleeping with me. Read Tennyson to her in the evening. Wednesday A lovely morning, with a fine breeze, though the sun is July 31 x hot. Helen and Mr Wilcox rode as far as Brown's. I 30 was glad she got such a nice ride for she was pretty cross last night over the disappointment of the rain. Minded Harry, sewed on Nell's worsted work, and finished "Cockburn". Wrote to Tom by way of Clearfield, and wrote diary. I don't quite like Helen's being so much in the kitchen, but I cannot well prevent it. Two or three times I have gone in there to see if I too could learn. But Nell without meaning it contrives to make me feel myself "de trop." I don't like her to be there by herself for she gossips with Ellen, and squabbles with Jane. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p188.jpg) Jane is never over-respectful to any one, and Helen has an overbearing manner to her, so Jane is rude to her. Then Nell complains to me, and I scarcely know what to say. Jane is the only person to do our washing, and she is quite ready to throw Helen's up on the least opportunity. Nell says I ought to scold Jane, but I hate to do so. I shall speak to her quietly if she behaves ill in my presence. Perhaps I am too much inclined to "jouk and let the jaw gae by." I'm afraid that I was much to blame in my poor Girard street housekeeping in not reproving faults more than I did. Dear me, how I would like to keep a little house nicely, for my darling! However, I am sure I am at my post at Fern Rock, though I am not a faithful sentinel, for I sleep on my post, and let opportunities pass over for being useful to the dear people, and making them happy. I must try to be more active next winter, after Christmas, if I live. I am too sluggish in everything. If I can exercise more than I did, last winter, I shall be stronger and more cheerful. If dear Tom has health too he will be able to do his proper work without killing himself mind and body staggering under the "Old Man of the Sea". There's another thing! Last year I shrunk from the responsibility of refusing to let the poor fellow work for Elisha, for fear it was selfish, as I did before when the question was Fern Rock. All my after-grumblings only distressed poor Tom ineffectually, doing no good. Poor darling! I must be wiser next year. And indeed, Tom ought to have had more time to devote to his own business last year. Our golden time is passing without our laying by money for our children's education or support. I have questioned myself pretty closely these last few days to see whether I am selfish in thinking that Tom's time must be devoted more to his little family's prosperity. I always feel as if I were selfish when I do say anything of the kind, and the conse- -quence is that I blurt it out at last, head foremost, and contrive to make Tom feel as if he would be selfish too if he did not work to secure this or that for Elisha and the Judge. And I think I have been wrong. Elisha can take care of himself, and the Judge is com- -paratively rich. But we have not enough to feel as if our little nestlings were provided for, if we die. And our duty is more towards them. I thought it quite clear that Tom ought to be recompensed for his ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p189.jpg) work up here. Then he seemed to feel as if it were mean, and both he and I know it is right, and yet feel as if we would be "mean as dirt" to take recompense. Tom thinks, I feel, that the salt of his woodland rides would have lost its savour if they were not all for love. For last winter's labours nothing could repay him, it would seem to me like the price of blood; a dreadful time of wear and tear to body and spirit. This summer work, healthy and free, I know has done him no harm, and its price is fairly earned and we ought to take it. So I feel now. I daresay Tom will come back, however, distressed and disheartened, and then I shall look here merely as a blessed mending place for his dear spirits, and body, and care little whether he is working or no, for pay or for love, if I can only see him bright and well as he left me. Dear Tom, how I love him. I have caught myself crying about him these three nights instead of sleeping. Oh if he were safe in my arms again! I think over and over again, how much I have done to worry him, and resolve never to cloud his beloved face again by being pettish, or yielding to low spirits. I daresay I shall though, it would be just like me. Thursday Thank God, July is over, and the last of the summer August 1 x begun. Oh if He will spare Tom from sickness this July 31 year! Last night I read part of King Lear aloud to the Wilcox's and Helen. In the earlier part of the evening we walked as far as the stone school house half way down the mountain. This being three quarters of a mile from the house shows me that I am a good deal stronger than I was when I came here. There was a note for me from Papa enclosing his last from Tot and Harry in which they speak delightedly of Ardtornish. No word from my dearest, however, and I was cruelly disappointed. The last I had from him came on Friday, a week ago. Tomorrow I may hear from him, but how slowly the days go by! This morning I wrote to him, read nine newspapers, received a visit from Mr Struthers, wrote here, played with Harry and took a little drive, before Helen started off with the Judge for Buena Vista. And it is only five minutes of eleven! What shall I do with myself? I have Tom's clothes and trunk in order. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p190.jpg) I think I will do the same with my own. If a grass- -hopper would only fall down dead, I could magnify it, but they are all lively. How many there are here! There is one thing that pleases me mightily, namely the inclination I have for walking. If the sun were a little less hot I should be out much oftener than I am now. I shall enjoy my drives when Tom comes back! — I set to work on my clothes, and did some altering before dinner. Being a little tired after dinner I coaxed Miss Harry to sit on the bed beside me, and the little mouse leaned over kissed me and stroked my face, and then stooped forward, and resting her curly head on my bosom was asleep in a moment. When I woke, I found that a Mrs Burlingame had brought her baby to spend the afternoon. This young woman has lived six years in the wood, and seems to like it. She told me that she saw a large bear on Friday not a hundred yards from her house. Her husband's gun was unloaded and the bear got off before he was ready to shoot him. I forgot to say that Mr Struthers told me he treed two young bears yesterday. People say they are more numerous than they have been for several summers. Mrs B's baby though nearly three months younger than Harry creeps fast, and stands alone. Like all the babies up here, it is much bigger than Harry, and eats everything – cheese, blackberries, butter, cake, and pie, and drinks tea, as well as its mother's milk. Harry looked so funny, with her tiny body, hands and feet, curly head, and mouthful of teeth, sitting erect as she always does when wonder struck, and gazing at the big silent, bald baby rolling on the floor. Harry chattered a great deal to it, and when it went away tried to creep too. She does not yet know how, but can shuffle a little away. At tea the other baby dropped a saucer of tea on its mother's dress at on which she gave it a loud slap on the cheek. We all coloured, and the Judge made a sort of protest, then there was an awkward silence till tea was over broken only by the poor baby's sobs. The mother did it in anger, and the poor wee child's feelings were hurt. When I left the table I went to Harry. She was sitting in the shed on a sheepskin and clasped my neck and kissed me ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p191.jpg) and looked so pleased to see me. Poor wee darling, she has never been rebuked otherwise than by my saying "No! No!" or "Not for baby", and then she sobs and holds up her mouth for a kiss of forgiveness. I hope I don't spoil her. She always obeys me, and when I explain my wish to her, always yields. Friday It seems I was mistaken in supposing yesterday August 1 the 1st. However it is the first now at any rate. Last evening Helen and I walked to the cottage where Ellen lives, half a mile and back. After eight o'clock I read Shakspere aloud to the same audience. This morning they remarked how "good they slept after it, they were real sleepy before it finished!" Innocent souls, I know they were both "not almost, but altogether" asleep part of the time. Still I think they like it, Tom will know. This morning I played with Harry, walked as far as the nearest wood, mended all the clothes from the wash, looked at a flower through the microscope, and wrote diary; still it was only twenty minutes past ten. So I unpacked my trunk, and re-arranged it, putting aside everything that needed mending, and then sewed till dinner-time. After that lay down till study hour. Couldn't study very well Nell being so cross, perhaps because of her face, that I could not fix my attention. Concluded that it encouraged her sulks if she saw I concerned myself about it. So kept myself in a good humor and spoke to her just as usual. The crossness soon went away under this new aspect of affairs. — LIttle Ströbel at last brought me notes from Tom, one written last Friday, and one that felt nice and thick, from Phila. So I settled myself for a comfortable read, and opened it, to find three or four lines, dated Monday! He says he will perhaps be home tomorrow and that he is well. I was so disappointed. Poor boy, he must be very busy! — Helen took a little ride on horseback but the flies troubled the horses so that they were gone but half an hour. As there was plenty of time before dark, the Judge then put the horses in the wagon and took Nell and me a nice little drive. In the evening I finished King Lear to them. They brought their Dutch servant girl in too! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p192.jpg) Saturday Last night I think I heard the wolves howling, as August 2 I lay awake. I was so restless that I only slept from one till four. Today I may look for my darling. The hours go by so slowly! I sewed, and read the papers, and finished darning the last stocking, and put my room in order, and wrote diary. Then I took a walk down Graveyard Lane and saw a snake over a yard long. As I reached a nice spot in the wood I thought I would sit down and rest. Turning to look the way I had come I saw a black beast as big as a Newfoundland dog. It had evidently been following me. As I paused it crouched down about two hundred yards from me. I was pretty frightened but took up a stick and advanced towards it. Sud- -denly it plunged into the thicket, but not before it gave an unmistakeable wag of its tail! Being I suppose a settler's dog. The old story of "Bears has no tails" had relieved my mind of its first alarm. — I finished "Indian Captivities", After dinner we dressed hoping for Tom every minute. We commenced studying at the usual hour, but fairly gave in halfway, being both of us too much excited to fix our minds. We then read aloud alternately, finishing "The Heroes" by tea-time. After our usual walk we were fairly at our wit's end for some occupation to while away the time. We expected them every minute, and stayed on the piazza to hear the first sound of the wheels. I told Nell several stories, and at last ten o'clock struck, and we went slowly to bed. Judge W. had not yet returned from Ridgway and we thought they would come back with him. At 1 A.M. I heard a vehicle stop at the gate, steps on the piazza; surely, they must have come. I sat up to listen was sure I heard them go softly into the room we had prepared for them, and went to sleep Sunday overjoyed. Early next morning we rose, taking particular August 3 pains with our dress, and hurried out to meet Judge Wilcox alone! Oh, how disappointed I was! It fairly gave me a headache. Again wee Harry came smiling down pink ribboned and white frocked to meet Papa and I hoped against hope that he would come. As the day was cool I thought a drive might cure my headache so Mrs Wilcox drove Helen and me as far as Brown's. We had to stop there to get the wagon turned, so we went in, as I found they ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p193.jpg) were "miffed" at our not calling. I thought too it would help consume the day. To my horror pretty foolish Miss Brown came back with us to spend the day! Alonzo Wilcox and a white haired old gentleman dined here. This man his name is James Gilliss, Judge Gilliss, became a settler here long ago for a curious reason. About twenty miles from where the Wilcoxes formerly lived, there was a man named Morgan who published a book called "Masonry Exposed". In this he told the Mason's Secrets. They were indignant. He disappeared and has never been seen since. Several Masons were accused of murdering him. Among others this man. He went off as far out of the reach of human dwelling as he could into these wilds, but was found, and had to stand his trial. — Nell contrived to get Miss Brown out of the parlor, and I have been able to read some of my Bible, and a few pages of Arnold's "Christian Life." I hope I may be able to bring my children up rightly. If I ever have a son, could we not bring him up to be a true Christian. I am sure Tom's son might be full of all brave and noble human qualities, and fight a good fight of faith for his Master Christ. I think that Christians ought not to let it be said — as it has been, till it falls on our ears like a truism, cunning trick of the devil as it is — that women are the best Christians, that Christ exhibited the virtues of women most, fortitude, patience meekness, and insinuations are thrown out that it is not manly to be Christian, and that men who are Christians are sneaks, unfit to be good citizens and brave men. I am sure it is not so, nor ought we, who profess to be Christ's servants to allow it to be said, He who wrote the noble words— "My brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might &c" was no coward. Nor were our old forefathers of the Covenant cowards though their Christianity had in it the roughness of the time. If Knox and Luther are dead, yet Christ's army have as noble battles to fight for their country under His banner, as those brave old generals fought. If I have a son, I think it will make me feel that I have a much greater love for this country than before. In this great free land, which takes from all ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p194.jpg) classes, those whom she needs for helpers; every parent has a mighty duty to perform in training up their sons to be ready to serve their country heartfully. I pray God to give us a son if we may be able to train him — "able to endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." But I would rather live childless all my days, than lose my children both for time and Eternity. I pretend to myself that I don't like boys, but the truth is I know no Christian boy or young man. It seems as if the nobler character a lad developes nowadays, he goes farther and farther, shunning Christ. I fear Christians are much to blame in this. They, not the Bible, make Christianity narrow, feeble, ignorant. Not like true soldiers of our Lord, advancing first into the wide new lands of science, and all knowledge and wisdom, and making them our own in His name, we intrench ourselves in garrison, refusing Minié rifles and trying to fight the well equipped enemy with slings, because David killed the giant with one, in His to in his time. With God's help, what can we not do? If He trusts us with a son! Monday We drove again as far as Brown's in the evening, and I August 4 read a capital sermon aloud. The morning was stormy though it cleared off cool. As Nell was disappointed of her drive and I of my husband. I proposed that she should sew while I read aloud. We began "The Merchant of Venice," and were quite interested when – They came! What a joyful day we spent! Dear Tom notwithstanding his busy days, had packed up a hamper full of things for us, books, candy, writing paper, a table cover, and last but not least that beautiful Oberhäuser Microscope with the Camera. Besides, there was the Camera for fitting in any microscope. This I shall keep, for I love the Microscope dear Tom gave me before, and shall return the Oberhaüser. – Best of all, he brings himself back, having prospered in his work. I thank God! Tuesday Johnny slept at Howards' but the good people will August 5 give him their room tonight, and he will sleep here. We had a delightful letter from Papa, and from Harry, yesterday. I read to Nell in the evening, while my darling worked with his maps. This morning I was determined I would puzzle out the way of seeing through the Camera. So I did at last, though my outline drawing is curious. – Johnny & Tom rode ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p195.jpg) off on horseback to Little Elk Creek, and Nell and I walked down Mr Burlingame's lane some distance. On our return we meant to study, but Jane brought us Miss Harry to mind. I packed up the "Oberhaüser" and wrote diary, and then arranged some flowers Nell gathered for John's room. I wrote a letter to Elisha. Took a nap after dinner, and read. Wednesday Drew with the Camera all morning with my darling August 6 Tom at work near me. How pleasant such hours are to us! After our nap we heard from home. Poor E.K.K. writes that he is sick with rheumatism; I am glad I wrote to him yesterday. Papa sent a tiny note to Helen inclosing two nice ones from Tot and Willie. I wrote a letter to the Kanes at the Springs. My dearest and I took a lovely walk in the woods this evening. Thursday This morning John and I drove to Teutonia, and August 7 back. The day was glorious, a pleasant breeze blowing, and the woods in their glory. Coming home found Tom had been hard at work. He worked all the afternoon too, and a little of the evening. We took a little stroll together and talked over our plans– whether we could spend our sum- -mers here or no. I wrote to Papa. Tom talked a long while with the Judge – the latter being anxious to sell his farm. Tom finds that reading – or rather avoiding writing in the evening makes him sleep much better. Friday A glorious day. Read "Lives of the Hanoverian Queens" August 8 don't like it at all. Wrote diary. Finished "Merchant of Venice" to Helen, and drew the pollen of several dif- -ferent plants, and the down, with the camera. This took me a long time. Then Helen and I studied for an hour and took a walk. We met John and Tom returning from Buena Vista, the other from Rocky Run. Read "Ins and Outs of Paris" in the evening. It is written by a woman, and is full of interest, though she writes rather more about the "Chaumière," and with rather more zest than I care to read. She says that women physicians have entirely banished men from the care of women at the time of delivery— if quite true a most important plea in favor of women physicians as these are cases that require strength both of ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p196.jpg) mind and body. N.B. I must keep myself posted up as to the advantages women enjoy in this country, France and England. Saturday A busy day. Tom asked me to copy on a tract Map for August 9 him the owner of parts of the Company's land, and the number of acres each owned. This busied me till dinner time. After a good nap I began writing a long descriptive letter to M. Jones Tom said he wanted me to keep it, as part of one he wants written to the papers as a puff of this country. We walked all over a deserted clearing, peeping in at the empty rooms of the house. It was some case of tax title. We had a very happy stroll, through the fields looking at the distant mountain ranges, and the tree tops still gilded with the sunset, while we walked in shadow, and above a few cool silvery clouds floated in the pure blue sky. Finished the "Ins and Outs" at night. Sunday My pretty pet is thirteen months old today, God August 10 bless her! She is gaining strength and intelligence, and is only too dear to us. — Helen and I were driven by Mr Wilcox's little grandson two or three miles along the road, and back. Then Tom and I started at half past nine into the woods, taking my Bible with us. Sometimes we sat down on a log, and read, or I said hymns. Then we strolled on talking. We were discussing the wisdom of buying a little homestead up here. I will ask God's guidance about it. — We were tempted on and on so that we did not get home till dinner time and must have walked nearly three miles. After dinner I read two or three of Arnold's sermons, and then took a long restful sleep. Wrote diary, Tom explained the route of the S. and E. RR to me in the evening. Monday Tom rode to Marvin Creek this morning and I took advan- August 11 -tage of his absence to begin a little scheme of mine. Drove as far as Brown's, and read part of "The Arabs in Spain." Mended Tom's clothes. Drew with the Camera – the pollen of several plants. Drove again in the evening with Mrs Wilcox. She told me that Lovisa's first baby was killed by giving it laudanum in place of paregoric by mistake. How many children are either seriously injured or killed by laudanum, and yet mothers will give anodynes with it in! Tom came home late at night, and did not rest well. So he did not start for the Indian country as he intended. Letters from M. Jones. and Papa. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p197.jpg) Tuesday I rose early and had half an hour to pursue my scheme August 12 in before breakfast. I cannot keep the secret from Tom if he stays here much longer. I have no secrets from him and consequently this is always on the tip of my tongue, Before dinner I finished two long letters to Papa and M. Jones and, wrote a P.S. to one Tom was writing to E. K.K. Besides this I drew a cricket's foot with the Camera, and the tip of his wing. After dinner slept, read "Arabs in Spain" and took a stroll with Tom. After tea we went to the pasture, and sat overlooking the beautiful Clarion valley until the sun set. Then Tom went down to the Hollow to get the old chaise, and I waited for him till I was tired, I walked about a quarter of a mile to meet him, but could not see him. He did not come home till after eight o'clock. I read Evangeline aloud till dinner time to him. Wednesday Mended Johnny's pantaloons, minded Harry, wrote August 13 diary. Packed Tom's clothes, and he and Johnny started for Cattaraugas Co. in the evening. Helen and John rode up to the Post Office for letters, first. I had one from Charlotte, but there was none for Tom from home which was a great disappointment to him. After they went I read the papers, then undressed Harry & played with her, and then Helen and I read the three first chapters of "John Halifax" Thursday Soon after breakfast a heavy fog rolled off and it became August 14 a beautiful day. Little Medbury drove Helen and me about five miles on the Ridgway road, and back. Wrote diary, and went on with my scheme. Now that Tom is away I can write it down. It is simply this. Tom asked me to copy part of my letter to M. Jones, as he wanted me at some future time to write a letter for him to the papers. I have secretly written nearly one long one, and I want to finish another before he returns. He can then just choose what he pleases out of both. — I wrote for an hour before, and two hours after dinner finishing my second letter. Then Helen and I studied for two hours, and then came tea time. After tea we walked, and then I drew for Tom from the tract map a little plan of the Wilcox es- -tate that we spoke of. Afterwards I rolled the map up. I shall take it to Brown's the first time I go. Talked for about an hour with Mrs Wilcox. Then Helen and I read aloud alternately till bed-time. Slept very well. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p198.jpg) Friday Today I woke with a slight cold, and so let Nell go driving with August 15 Harry and Mrs Wilcox without me. After they returned I went a little way with the Judge. He was telling me the names of the different owners along the road, so I naturally gained just the information I wanted about that tract. It was 200 acres, seventy of which were felled, and fifty of the seventy fenced in. Speaking of the place where that deserted house is, he gave me this history. When Cooper and Jones wished to ascertain how much each owned they engaged a very honest surveyor to run their lines. He divided them off into warrants, but did not keep the exact lines of the old surveys. When Mr Struthers came into office he employed a surveyor to re-run the lines. This seventy acres by the second survey should belong to the McKean (?) but Mr Struthers did not claim it as if he did his line in accordance with it would run clear of New Flanders. The house was put up, and the pla clearing made by the brother-in-law of a man named Van Duzen I think he said Mr Warner was the name. I drew with the Camera for a long while today and Nelly & I read aloud alternately. In the afternoon letters came from Pat, the Judge, and Mrs K. showing that Elisha was away on Long Island while poor dear Pat was working alone. The others were to return on Saturday. Wrote diary I took a stroll in the evening. Played with my darling Harry who is dearest of all living beings to me, except my own best beloved Tom. I have a little note from him, the dear one. I hope he will have a pleasant journey! Helen and I read aloud in the evening. We were both in bed by nine o'clock. Saturday After putting the room in order Nell and I took a August 16 walk as far as the first swamp. Coming home I wrote to Tom and Pat, but unfortunately let the stage pass without sending them. Then Helen and I read aloud alternately she doing worsted work and I drawing in the intervals. When three o'clock came we studied two hours as usual. After tea we walked nearly as far as we had done in the morning. Read aloud, prayers and bed. My dear Tom! I found an envelope in which he had written "Back on Monday Night, dear Bessie, not before." He knew I would find it, and experience a joyful surprise. Mr Dolsen (?) sent over for tents meaning to camp out I sent him about a dozen newspapers thinking Tom would ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p199.jpg) like me to do it. If I only could do things for kindness' sake instead of for Tom's.! I forgot to say that the Judge told me that log house near the chapel would cost $200. It contains two rooms below, two low ones above. He would have advised them to add a few logs for the sake of having a good second story. It was every's one's experience of story and a half houses. He liked frame houses best, they were as cheap, and log houses always settled where the logs joined. There was one way wh. he liked, and he thought would not settle so much, setting up posts at the corners with grooves for the insertion of the beams. All Milesburg was log houses chinked up with plaster and white-washed. I must try to economise this winter so as to save a little money towards getting a home. If we have one, I shall plan all sorts of cheap furnishing. Our carpenter can make shelves in the bedrooms in which we can keep our clothes with curtains before them. Then I can make nice ottomans inside which table and bed linen should be kept. We should not need large rooms so the simple paper and carpeting would cost little. For the parlor we would have half a dozen cottage chairs and a rocking chair of pine wood, the rest of the half dozen for bed rooms. A pine table with a nice two dollars and a half cover, a set of shelves for books. These we would let the carpenter make. Tom's writing shelf, and one or two of our commonest engravings would furnish the parlor, with two boxes, I would make ottomans of. Then a corner shelf in each room for a wash- -stand, and a bedstead, and mattrass. Stone ware china, pressed glass, and a few kitchen utensils. How much should we need? Wash tubs too! Irons too! They pile in as one thinks. I forgot stones! I forgot kitchen furniture! Ahon a ri! Sunday Had a long talk with Helen about the observance August 17. of Sunday. Played with Harry wrote diary, and Helen and I took a walk into the woods and there read the service It brought us home at dinner time. After dinner I took a little nap, then wrote to Bess and Pat: after tea we walked over three quarters of a mile in the woods, came home and received a visit from Mrs E. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p200.jpg) Burlingame. She proved to be a great absurdity. At night just as I tumbled into bed a laugh sounded outside my window. It was Tom! Monday Any one who heard our exclamations of delight when Tom J August 18. arrived would have been sure of our enjoying this sunny morning as I was. Tom asked me to walk to the Hol- -low with him and drive back as he had left his horse there. Unfortunately Nell wanted to go. I said she should, if Tom would promise not to walk up the hill. He said he always meant to walk up, and should do so. Then I, hoping to keep him, said I would not go. Presently Helen and I stole off meaning to fetch the horse ourselves. Tom soon overtook us went down the hill and walked up coming home very tired. So there was a little misunderstanding, soon made up. In the evening after lessons were over, Tom and I meant to walk. We found Helen going out riding, but the poor old Judge looked so weary that Tom said he would ride with Helen. I walked as far as Dutch Henry's, and then spent the evening talking to Mrs Wilcox. Helen and Tom did not return till about eight o'clock. poor Tom worn out. Tuesday Letters from Papa, Cousin M. Tot, Willie, and Harry. August 19 Read with Helen, and copied her little receipts out for her. It rained too hard for us to exercise. Played with Harry, studied after dinner. Tom gave me a writing lesson. After tea he explained the dip of coal to me, and then I read poetry to him till bed- -time. Wednesday Wrote diary. Then Tom Mrs Wilcox and I started August 20. on a drive to return Mrs Burlingame's visit. The clouds were parting and gave us glimpses of a sweet soft blue sky, a fresh "Elie" breeze blew seeming as if it would kiss colour into our cheeks. So we drove through the lovely woods all damp and sweet smelling, and up past Mr Struble's clearing to the hill top. There was quite a wide clearing, a young orchard springing up, and the still unharvested oatfields rippling in the breeze. In the hollow of the swelling hills stood a little one roomed log house with two or three luxuriant hop vines wreathed round poles beside it. We went in. It was the first log house I ever entered. I felt curious to know whether I could ever, if we grew poor, be content to dwell so with my husband and his children, or ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p201.jpg) whether I would feel content impossible. Thank God, I have him without whose love how dreary the world would be. Yes, I could be happy here with him. Stop a minute, Mrs Bess, who has been oh so, not really contentedly looking forwards to the luxuries of Fern Rock, just because she cannot have addi- -tional anticipated luxuries. For shame! Let me to shame myself when I next want to grumble write down how these people were living, people both above the level of their neighbours. In the one small room with its unplaned floor, unplastered walls, and ceiling whose roof rafters were still bark-covered, lived five human beings. To be sure the loft, up to which a ladder in the corner led, gave a bed place to the two big lads, but the father mother and baby were all in this one room. She was evidently mortified at our catching the place in disorder but explained that, ever since her sickness she had been obliged to hire a German woman to do her cleaning who could only come once a week. Now the carpet was out airing, the baby's frock dirty &c. For all that I noticed that the mirror, window panes and dinner tins were shining bright, the bed valance perfectly clean, as well as the pillows, and the furniture free from dust. The furniture was too good for the room, only stored there, she said, till the new house should built. A nice four poster bed, a secretary, mahogany table (with a tin wash basin on it) a walnut cradle etc were evidently relics of her Philadelphia splendours, and contrasted oddly with the rough shelves, on which the earthenware, and the cooking utensils were stored, and the battered old settee and worn out stove, as evidently the aboriginal possessors of the domain. I wrote on Sunday that she seemed an absurdity. It was a sad curious story that seems to be drawing near its close there in that nook in the woods. From Mrs Wilcox I had heard of her as a complete puzzle. Mrs Jackson a widow lady of Philadelphia with her three sons, came here to settle on a farm they had purchased from General Diller, unseen, trusting to his ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p202.jpg) word: the word of a land speculator. Cleared, yes it was cleared, the settler who improved it having thrown it up, finding it too stony for anything. Up came the widow, with her sons bringing at great expense all the best farm implements, expecting to raise crops at once. Of course she could not do anything. Her neighbor Erastus Burlingame consoled her, they married and six months after, a gigantic baby was born. This made a great stir, especially as an angry maid servant said that her name was not Jackson. Her first husband, a farmer on Florence heights, being dead she had married an Irish priest, who went over to Ireland to bring back his children by a first wife, and on his return died in New York. This was Mrs B's own account of herself to Mrs Wilcox, and prejudiced me against her. On Sunday night when the immense creature called, I was only amused at her half-cut airs of gentility, her high flown speeches to me, and the total change of voice and language when she occasionally relapsed into ordinary subjects. It struck me that she might have been a second rate actress, or some rich man's cast off mistress. Why Mr Burlingame should have taken her seemed to me, a much greater puzzle than Mrs Wilcox's puzzle, why she should have taken him. Roughly dressed as he was, I could see, notwithstanding his hairy legs and breast half. showing, that he had a quiet intelligence, and a much more pleasing face than hers, on which, I fancied, lingered still the touch of the hare's foot. I don't like his upper lip, though, I must ask Tom what it means. Tom was greatly pleased with him today, and I was horrified to find that, whatever she may have been, the poor woman is dying, and does not know it, of consumption. Poor woman, indeed! She has lately become a Roman Catholic, and I hope will die in peace. — Tom had Mr B. at our house all the afternoon and evening till bed-time, talking about coal. In the evening I wrote to Cousin Margaret. Thursday Wrote diary. Tom would go off on a coal hunt with August 21 Mr Burlingame in spite of the rain so I helped him off. Then drew with the Camera and we finished John Halifax. I have lately been thinking a great deal how we ought to economise this winter. I shall need neither new bonnet, nor cloak, I hope, though I suppose I ought ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p203.jpg) to have a new straw as soon as I go home, and a morning and afternoon dress. I will try to save poor Tom's money. Let me see! On going home we shall have to pay Jane either three or four months wages. Then comes board $15. a week, and the back money to pay off. Dear, dear how it goes! What can I do? I need not – yes, there's one saving I can make! And I will try to avoid wasting money, going to town unnecessarily, buying trashy books etc. I must take a good look at my account book, and check off all but needful items. – I have a letter from Papa, no news in it, and he encloses ones from Willie and Harry, both written in good spirits. Tom has one from Mr Irvine invi- -ting us there, and another from Mr Struthers. Nell and I walked after dinner, as it stopped raining awhile. — I have finished my copy book, Tom says my writing has improved since I came here. I have read all that I thought it wise to do, on the Obstetric subject. Beginning at the "Compend of Physiology" I am to learn a page a day, Tom won't allow of a longer lesson, so I must do what little I learn thoroughly. I am studying "The Fruit," in Gray's Botany. I think I will learn a page a day also of the Med- -ical Botany. Read the daily papers. Friday This morning Helen and Mrs Wilcox took a drive. I stayed August 22 and knitted. Tom went off to explore the coal lands at Summit. As Mr Burlingame was waiting some time for Tom before they started, I showed him my microscope. Tom thinks it would be so pleasant if I could study Geology a little, so as to understand what is so interesting to him. So I read a chapter of Lyell's "Elements of Geology." After study hours and tea, Helen and I walked to the Hollow, and then climbed the mountain again. We must have walked two miles. We hoped to meet Tom, but he did not come. So after talking with the old people awhile, Helen and I went to the parlour and I began telling her the story of Consuels. In the midst we were interrupted by Mrs Wilcox's shrieks of "Fire! Fire!" We, or rather I, for Helen never moved being quite petrified with fear, darted into the next room, saw the flames in the doorway near the stair case. I flew upstairs and took up the dear baby, who ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p204.jpg) opened her eyes wide, and then remained perfectly quiet. Then I sent Jane and Ellen down to get water. Mrs Wilcox was trembling so that I did not let her do anything, but made her lie down, and gave her some brandy and water. The Judge soon put the fire out. The only damage was to poor Mrs W's sheets etc, which were all burnt. Tom did not reach home till half past ten. Saturday Well! we are all safe this morning, the Judge's hand a Aug. 23. good deal burnt. Tom and I went to the Lime Kiln lot, and then drove some distance up the Ridgway road. We stopped for letters, of which there were none, on the way home. Tom found stones identifying the strata here with those at Summit. After dinner he rode to bathe. I read Lyell, and learned my lessons. After tea played with my dearest Harry. Then that Mr Burlingame came and stayed till half past ten, so I told Helen the rest of the Consuels, and listened to her plans for Christ- -mas presents. Sunday Drove round the hill, and back. Sunday is the August 24 great visiting day here, and Mr and Mrs Burlingame, and Mr Dohlsen dined here. I suppose my poor tired Tom will have no rest! — No indeed. Poor Tom did not get to bed till late, and then slept ill. Monday Mr Dalson went away this morning. I minded dear August 25. Harry a great deal, and took a good rest to make up for last night. I studied Lyell, learnt my page of Physiology, read some of the Chemistry, and some Materia Medica so as to get to places where I could begin learning a page of each as part of the day's lesson. Drew part of a fish scale with the Camera. Little Struble brought me a letter from Mrs Kane dated "Staunton Sunday 17th" J. P. Green wrote to John that they reached home on Tuesday the 19th. So poor Tom's letters have been useless, and his labour seems to have been thrown away. I trust that if God sees it would be good for him, he may have some permanent employment for his summers given him up here. There is news of the passage of a new Judiciary Bill. We do not know its contents but sup- -pose it will cut down our income as usual. It seems hard that we should suffer for the roguery of others. However I would rather skimp a little and feel honest, than be "rolling in goold" dishonestly eked out of the U.S. And God knows best. He will provide for us, if we walk honestly straightforward. Perhaps He will show ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p205.jpg) me how to deny myself some needless luxury so that dear Tom will not discover it, and let him not feel any pressure. Oh, if I could but gain money for him! We took a walk in the evening, and then I taught Helen to knit lace. I shall make a few little presents of my own work just at home, but no other Xmas presents. I am now knitting a pin- -cushion cover for one. Tom and I have promised to give each other none. I will set a watch over the door of my lips that I do not name anything I might fancy accidentally so as to tempt him. to buy it in spite of himself. That is one saving for the Christmas presents even last year were near- -ly $100. Tuesday Tom hurt his knee badly, I fear, last night, but August 26 for all that started on an expedition to Buena Vista. I did not dissuade him, as I feared he might worry at home. We drove about a mile and a quarter with him, and then walked home. I wrote a P.S. to a letter he wrote to his father last night, and wrote to Bess. Then I wrote diary, and minded Harry till dinner. I measured myself to compare with the same time before. It was then Waist 26, hips 40 shoulders 36 Now it is Waist 25, hips 44, shoulders 39[-] 38. Tomorrow is 6 mos – After study hour and tea, Helen and I walked out, and spent the rest of the evening knitting by the fire. Just after I got to sleep Tom returned tired out. I made tea for him and we got to bed a little after eleven. Wednesday As neither of us slept much, we rested all day. I took August 27 a pretty long morning walk with Helen, and studied in the afternoon. Nice letters form Papa Willie and the Judge. After tea Tom drove me to a hill on the St Mary's road whence we had a lovely view of the sun setting over rolling forest covered hills that melted from their evergreen into a soft dark blue on the horizon. Here and there the smoke from a burning fallow hung a motionless gray cloud over it. – Tom wrote to his father. Thursday Tom was off at 5 A.M. for St Mary's 16 miles from here, whence August 28 he meant to explore its coal beds. I wrote to Papa, a long letter to Walter, and a short note to Mrs Kane. Read West- -minster Review and knitted. Studied two hours. After tea walked to the swamp with Helen and gave her a moral talk. Talked and knitted till bed-time. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p206.jpg) Friday Just after prayers last night poor Tom rode up, per- August 29 -fectly worn out, having pushed home over these dread- -ful roads, and been thrown out of his wagon wh. was left broken in the road. I gave him his supper. Today he must rest, but Mr Burlingame has been talking with him ever so long. Letter from Bess. I wrote to Walter, & got a note from him Saturday Tom went off early to look at a vein he had opened at August 30 his own expense at Johnson's Run. I was very hard at work all day packing. I took Harry and drove over to Mrs Brown's to bid goodbye, and arrange about sending our letters to Marvin Creek. Tom returned late, but in the highest spirits having been perfectly successful, and being able to refute Mr Dalson's discouraging conclusions. Sunday Was not a Sunday-like day. Tom had to pack his August 31 minerals in which I helped him, and wrote a letter to his father for him. I went over with him in the evening to bid the Burlingame's goodbye, and give them some Cognac for poor Mrs B. Monday Summer is over thank God, leaving us all well and Sept. 1. so happy! We left our friends today, with real regret on both sides. We reached Marvin Creek Hotel at dinner-time. I was very tired and headachy so I went to bed early. Mr Dalson came here and told Tom he had found the "Bond Vein" just where Tom said he would. Tuesday We all feel the difference of air here, though it is only Sept 2 400 ft lower than where we were. It is beautifully situated in a valley surrounded with mountains 800 ft high above us. Read, wrote from Tom's dictation, and knitted till dinner, after dinner drove up towards Mc Falls house on Marvin a lovely drive. Came back in time for tea. After tea had letters from Tot, Harry, Papa, the Judge, Mother and John. Wrote from Tom's dictation till dusk, then after a peep at my pet going to bed, he and I walked up to look at some burning trees on the mountain. Wrote from his dictation till bed time. Poor fellow he had a bad headache today, almost his first this summers. Wednesday Tom started off early for Mc Falls. I marked a map for him Sept 3rd and wrote diary, and minded Harry while Jane washed. Then I copied part of a long letter for Tom, and drew a rough map. After tea we took a walk and then I resumed my copying. At bed-time Tom came in with Mr Dalson, and told me he was going to start at four in the morning to be gone two or three days. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p207.jpg) I was so sorry that I made my darling fancy I was vexed, wearing such a sour face, but the truth is I am so dull here without him. Thursday After breakfast Helen and I took a walk. I read, Septr 4. took care of sweet Harry, wrote a pretty long letter to Mother, and one to Tom enclosing copies of three from his father. After tea, took our walk and copied till bed-time. Friday After breakfast walked as usual, and then Sept 5 finished all the copying Tom left. It is already 18 pages. What will it be at the end? Knitted, played with Harry, wrote diary, read a chapter in Lyell. Then I wrote to Willie. Poor wee Harry is suffering from her teeth very much today! Took our evening walk. Finished a pincushion cover I have been knitting, and read more of Lyell. Tom told me that unless he returned home by half past eight I need not expect him. I waited till ten before I went to bed. Saturday Last night after I had been about a quarter of Septr 6 an hour in bed, wheels sounded, and Tom came. Such a hard day's journey as he had poor boy to come home to me! I was so very glad to see him. This morning I had the letter I copied to show him, and some more writing from dictation to do. Then I copied that, and finished the 22 pages, and sent them off in the evening. This, and superintending our re-pack- -ing kept me busy all day Poor Harry was quite sick, and I tried to lance her gums for her, but failed because no one would hold her still for me. It made me feel quite sick from nervousness and I haven't felt well all day since. But my darling Harry. She has never been sick before. May God preserve her to us! Charlotte and Harry sailed for America today, I hope. How I long to see them! All this afternoon and evening Tom has been over- -whelmed with surveyors, and that Mr Dalson is with him now and will be till we go. I did hope that our Sunday morning at least would be Sunday -like. We are to leave here tomorrow afternoon, and hope to reach Fern Rock on Saturday in time for dinner. I shall probably have no time to write again during the journey May God speed us! I thank Him for our happy summer! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p208.jpg) Pursuing a N./W 65° — the main Stream. for 1 mile and 3/4 they found no breaks in the So. side whatever till they came to the Summit. On the North side there were three breaks. Here was the Summit between Crooked Creek and the Stream. The Summit is very narrow. = not more than 50 feet on the top of the Ridge. the distance between To gain 198 – descent we ran 759 feet on the ground surface on the Eastern side To gain 116 847 on the West Side At the 116 feet we struck the bed of Crooked Creek. Crooked Creek I think falls 100 feet to the mile there K. 150 @ Cornelius We found no sign of the Engineers line you remarked ascending the other fork of North fork up the fork we followed; we found no sign of any Engineers line on the Summit. nor for an distance short of half a mile to the North East along it – nor any where when the waters of Crooked Creek when they approach that Summit another 21/2 miles. We returned down the "middle fork" of Crooked Creek — (the northmost of the two marked down by me). They empty into one Creek a half of a mile from the above the Be[-]ch Tree wh. we found them, which no doubt was Jarrett's. They were then running North till they [directional markings at the bottom right side of page] Pa[---]y Place S N. 65 W 1 3/4 miles Park ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p209.jpg) On Sunday the 7th we quitted Marvin Creek, and by making forced marches I call them, but ordinary journeys for most people we reached home on Thursday morning. It looked very lovely and cheerful, and we had a warm welcome. Today, Monday the 15th finds us quietly settled. The prin- -cipal occupation of my morning was my dear girlie who was so sweet and loving! When she was lying asleep the happiest tears rose to my eyes. May I be truly grateful for all my blessings! Tuesday I wrote in such a hurry last night! I think I ought to write Sept 16. more fully the story of our journey home, for it was very pleasant nearly all the time. When we left Marvin on Sunday afternoon, all the mountain forests were glorious with the colouring of autumn, and our journey that day and Monday was merely a lovely three hours drive through exquisite scenery with a fresh moun- -tain breeze in our faces. But the elevation grew less and less. At the dirty tavern where we passed our Sunday Night, as well as at our Monday's stopping place at Olean, our lungs felt the difference painfully. Tuesday we rattled over what might almost have been the descent to Hell, so hot, dusty and close was the air. At Elmira we panted, and Harry cried, and we had her gums lanced, and the water was limestone, and we worried poor tired Tom. On Wednesday we started for Williamsport, but it looked so bricky and hot, that we kept on to Danville. We were wise. Cool mountain breezes, clean rooms, delicious fare, and pitcher after pitcher full of cold water in which we dabbled to our heart's content. Thursday morning we drove up "Bald Top" and were rewarded by an exquisite view. Range after range of smoothly rolling mountains, bathed in summer light and haze, with the blue rolling Susquehanna winding in many a curve, its little joyous waves sparkling through the deeper colour of its flood, and at our feet pretty little Danville, its brick houses and slate blue roofs mingling into a purple hue, and the trees that line all its streets making it look not unlike a tuft of violets in grass. — Tom went to look at the Montour Iron Works when we came back. After dinner, I sent for the mistress of the house and talked to her, so that when we started in the cars for Reading ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p210.jpg) at five o'clock, I felt quite worn out. Our road lay over the mountains of the Catawissa, and we came over those fearfully beautiful bridges. As we inhaled the fresh air my spirits rose, and I began coaxing Tom to go straight to Philadelphia. I did not prevail until we acci- -dentally heard that the hotel, where he had written to engage rooms and a supper, was undergoing repairs. So at last he gave way. We got to bed in the Merchant's Hotel in Fourth Street Philadelphia, by two o'clock. And on Friday morning got out here. Saturday was busily employed in unpacking. Tom and I had a sweet Sunday together, and Monday I was happy too. This morning, I am taking care of Harry. She is sleeping, while I write. I walked with Tom, up to the Oak Lane Station, and came down in the cars. I finished since then, putting down all my accounts. Helen costs us $82.44. I am sorry it is so much. Our summer with John's trip costs us including spent on the Mc Kean Co's lands. On Saturday, I spent some hours in town. I was obliged to purchase an afternoon and morning dress, and to choose Walter's wedding present. At first I chose a diamond ring costing $50. Afterwards Tom wanted me to take a beautiful little opal set with brilliants costing $70. As it was beyond my limit, I refused. Then we had a long argu- -ment. He wanted me to have my opals reset for Sabina, and to take the other for myself. As to that I agreed to the first, not to the second. He carried the point, but I shall be ashamed to wear it. I feel mean to her, and extravagant to myself. Besides I don't feel as if we had any right to purchase so dear a thing while we are in debt. Tom said it might come out of the hundred Papa gave me for Christmas. But it can't do that. $82.44 is gone for Helen, Sabina's opal setting will cost something and the rest is gone for travelling expenses. Oh, if I could earn money! Last night I read a letter from Walter that he wrote some time ago, but it followed me to Elk & back. It is in answer to one I wrote Aug. 28. a great deal about Sabina to cover a little pill of advice about his duty to the chicks. Whereto he answers all about her! Fiddle!! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p211.jpg) Wednesday The Judge wants us all to go to a torchlight procession in honour of Buchanan. I wish I could get off! After taking charge of Harry till Tom came out at ten o'clock, I sat with him till a twelve o'clock dinner was ready. Elisha wants him in New York. I don't know what for. I wished so much to go with him, and dropped a hint to that effect. But as he did not take it, I gave up the idea. I know he would have taken me if pos- -sible. We drove in town together, then he went to N.Y. and I to Cousin Mary's where I stayed till the time to see the procession. A quick walk to 5th & Chesnut tired and heated me much and the procession was a great bore, as I had no Buchanan sympathies and was forced to listen to talk revolting to my feelings. Thursday. As I did not get to bed till nearly one Sept 18 this morning I was too tired to do much through the great heat of the day. I sewed, minded Harry, drove to Mr Dickson's and back, and lay down for a couple of hours. Read "Half Hours with the Best Authors." Wrote refusals to Walter's wedding for the family. The papers announce Tot's arrival! Tom will see her. How I wish I could! I miss him so. I want to have my dear companion to interest himself with me in my anxiety to see her. All the afternoon I took care of wee Harry, and gave the evening to Bessie. Friday Was able to write a little, and spent the rest of the September 19 morning driving with Mrs Kane. All the afternoon driving with Tom who came full of the dear girls. Lily Macalester came to stay, and the Dicksons spent a very dull evening here. Poor Tom after all his fatigue was out in the storm till midnight waiting for his father. Saturday After a restless night Tom being sick and the storm September 20 furious I supposed he would not go to town. So I let him sleep on. When he woke he said he had a most important engagement. He got off in time, I hope. All I could gain time for this day, was to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p212.jpg) write my copies, and diary. Lily M. and Bess discussed matrimony a long time, and I was dreadfully tired, the subject being less interesting to me. I made Harry a pinafore while they talked. But I cannot yet carry out of my plan of studying for two hours. I have either to mind Harry, or see visitors. — I read Physiology for half an hour. Devoted the afternoon and evening to Tom who had a bad headache Sunday Wrote a note to Tot. Had a pleasant morning, reading aloud September 21 to Tom. — Monday There now, I have fallen into my old bad habits again. Septr 29. I haven't written in my diary for a week. I have driven Mrs Kane over to Germantown several times. I have made two pinafores, & a frock for Harry, and mended the clothes for the wash. Thursday, I spent in town, waiting for the two girls, who, to my delight came to spend a week with me. They were full of Walter's wedding which took place the day before. They are both delighted with Sabina. On Friday we had a dinner party for the girls. Saturday, was delightful, we were alone together. Sunday I did not feel well. Today, Monday, I have been busy preparing Tom's clothes for a visit to Elk Co. How dreadfully I shall miss him. But I hope he will be well there. Oh, how I wish I had some money to pay our debts. I would be so happy! I wrote to C.M. also. Tuesday All yesterday afternoon was spent in preparations for Tom's September 30s departure. Then after all E.K.K. was sick, and, I thought very anxious for Tom to stay with him. So Tom stays till tomorrow afternoon. I held E K's head, so burning hot, poor fellow! till bed-time. — Poor old Mrs Betton was buried yes- -terday. — This morning I wrote diary, copy, and drew with the camera, sewed and minded Harry. I added up my own dress account yesterday, and find I have spent very little which is satisfactory. I shall begin a new account book as my present one is too large and heavy Wednesday Tom stayed out of town. He, Charlotte, Harry and I took a long drive together which took up all the morning. The evening we spent together till seven when Tom went up to town to start early tomorrow for Reading. Tot slept with me but I missed Tom dreadfully. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p213.jpg) Thursday Went up with the girls, and took them to the New York October 2 boat. Then I left Tom's shirt collars at the Sewing Machine place, called on Cousin Mary Gray and the Pattersons, and then shopped all the way down. When I got home thoroughly tired, I found poor Tom stretched on the bed. He had reached Reading and returned, sick of cholera morbus. Aunt Mary Leiper too was there, sick. So the evening was of the saddest. Friday 3rd Tom had a good night. Aunt Mary fretted till they promised to let her go home. Tom thought of starting for Reading, and taking me with him, but changed his mind. I knitted a hood for Harry. We dined early, and I did some sewing in the evening. Saturday Tom much better, though weak. Wrote for him two notes, and 4th October waited on him, and minded Harry. Commenced my new account book, and made a big quilted hood for Tom to wear in the mountains at night. Harry sent me a nice letter, dear child. Rested part of the afternoon. Wrote diary. Took care of my pet Harry. Knitted and talked to Tom Sunday Tom slept well, but is still weak. I waited on him, read my 5th October Bible, and a sermon of Arnold's to him. The day was cloudy at first but cleared up finely. I must try to arrange little Miss Harry's hours for exercise. I think 9 to half past 9. Her ten o'clock meal over, let her be coaxed to sleep, and then sent out till 12. After 1/2 past one let her be out till three. This will do for this season, though I am grievously puzzled as to the winter, how to provide her with sufficient exercise, and attention with all the claims upon Jane's time and mine. There isn't room for another nurse even if I could afford to have one. Harry will soon walk alone but I hear every one say that is only another cause for anxiety, as you are kept constantly on the watch. Little darling, how winning she is! Monday & Tom was sick both days though still mending. On Tuesday Tuesday. I drew with the Camera, and wrote to Tot. Wednesday Tom was better today and we drove to Laurel Hill 8th together, where we ordered two roses to be planted for poor G. Ingersolls grave. It was a very lovely day. EKK arrived to bid goodbye. John and Pat came out with him. The evening was painful enough. Tom says poor E. wanted to make a will leaving all to us, and then proposed to leave him more than the others so as to make him equal in wealth, notwithstanding his family ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p214.jpg) Tom refused. It seems so sad, poor E's longing for more open expression of family affection, and his sick troubles. Poor fellow, we are richer far than he. Thursday Sat with Tom doing what I could for him until a Oct. 9th one o'clock dinner was served. Then we drove in town together, and I parted from him at Pat's office. I hope God will prosper his journey! I sat in Pat's rooms till I came out of town. Then I found poor Mrs K. had broken some muscular fibres in her leg. I sat with her till 8 o'clock when Bess and Dr W. Mitchell came out. We then had tea, and then I went to bed with a sick headache. Friday Hard at work arranging Tom's closet. I found a deed Octr 10. he wants. Then I minded Harry, wrote diary, arranged my room, which is to be the gentlemen's hat room tomorrow, and helped Mrs K. make dusters. I am bent on being cheery that my boy may find me well when he comes home. Rested all the afternoon. Sat with Mrs K. in the evening. Wrote to Tom Saturday On coming down to breakfast I found that some one was needed Octr 11 to execute some errands in town. I undertook them and before dinner had so thoroughly over-fatigued myself that I had to rest all the afternoon. By eight in the evening everything was ready for the Wistar party. The sky was cloudless and the moonlight beautiful. As you came into our wood it sparkled with lamps. The terrace was outlined in tiny coloured lights, the verandah draped with flags and illuminated and a glow of light from the windows shone through the flag hangings over the windows The house was bright with light and flowers. Elisha's new silver displayed, and the staircase lighted by a Japanese lantern hung in the arch before my door. My room, cleared of books and papers, decked with flowers, and with its pretty marqueterie displayed, was the gentlemen's dressing room. How I wished for my boy to enjoy the scene! But then he would have been so tired, poor fellow! Sunday All the household were exhausted, and passed a quiet Octr 12. sleepy Sunday. I wrote to Tom in the morning, and thought much of him. Dear Tom, how happy he makes my life. God grant us both to be his servants, and let him give us children, only to be his. I read one of Arnold's sermons in the evening to Bess, and then we talked till bed-time. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p215.jpg) Monday A busy day but a pleasant one. I was determined that Octr 13 I would keep my promises to Tom better, so I wrote a little, then went out, then rested, read and sewed, and played with Harry. Wrote to Sabina. Then the Dun- -laps came to a quiet prosy afternoon. In the evening Bessie and the Judge went over to the Ingersoll's, and I wrote to my boy. Then to bed. – Such a nice letter from Tom! Tuesday Since Tom went I have been reading "Zenobia," and Martinian Octr 14 on "Household Education." Today was raw and rainy, but I took a little walk, and avoided sitting steadily at anything. I sewed a little, wrote a little to Tot, wrote diary, etc, making a point of breaking off constantly. This was election day, and Pat drove out to dinner. I have a pencil note from Tom, dated Olean, saying how well he felt. Mother read aloud part of the evening, and Pat and John spent the afternoon and were delighted with Harry, who cried after them. I wrote a few words to Tom but could not write much as I felt uneasy. I made Bess teach me a new way of dressing my hair, to please him. Wednesday Minded Harry, wrote diary and copy, and arranged a Octr 15. dead mosquito for drawing. Then I thought it would take me longer to draw than Tom would like so I gave it up, and went off to Mrs Kane's room who read aloud nearly all the morning while I alternately made button holes, and played with Harry. Then I lay down, and was awaked to get letters. One to Tom from a man in Wilmington about some point of office routine which I sent to Mrs Heaz- -litt, another notice to attend a meeting of the Prison Amelio- -ration society, and two, no three, to me. From Mr Simpson acknowledging the M.S. from Willie, and a dear Sunday letter from my own Tom. I wrote to him in the evening and spent my remaining hour or so with Mrs Kane. Then I went to bed, where my cheerfulness broke down, and I sobbed like a baby, first, because I'm a coward, next, for Tom to comfort me. I fancied him by me letting me rest in his arms and cheering me, and that made me sob worse. I wouldn't mind being away from him here, so much, if I only knew we should be together where all tears are dried. Oh God, if I only knew! My faith is so weak. Yet, Lord I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief! My own Tom! How I love him, and oh how great a shame to me it is that I, who have called myself Christ's, do so little, while Tom does so much! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p216.jpg) Thursday This day week Tom left me. It seems impossible that any October 16 seven days could last so long. I sewed, wrote my copy, my diary, and minded Harry. Then I began trying to draw a plan for a house in Elk Co. After that I wrote to Tom. Then I lay and rested my back. All the evening I sat sewing and reading with Mrs K. There was no letter from Tom. L. Mitchell married. Friday Wrote diary, wrote to Tom, and finished a rude plan of a October 17. house. Sewed, finishing all I could do for the time to a little pelisse for Harry. I took a little walk before a pouring rain came on. Received a long nice letter from Papa. He says that they have returned now to New York Mrs K. read three political pamphlets aloud to me, to my infinite weariness. We were very lonely and dull, both Bessie and the Judge being away, and no letter coming from Tom. In the evening I felt quite unwell. Saturday Mended clothes for the wash, counted them, wrote diary, Octr 18 and minded Harry. Bess came home about eleven and told us all about the doleful wedding, and a pleasant little supper Pat gave on Friday. I had a scrap from Tom saying his work was prospering, but he saw no pros- -pect favorable to our coming next year, and that he was in the best health and spirits. God be thanked! I also received Penington's Bill, sent in the third time, and a letter from Lucy Wickham thanking me for my letter, which she has just received. Bess and I took quite a walk. In the evening I commenced a set of nightgowns for Harry, while the Judge read aloud. I was sitting up by Mrs Kane when he came listening lest Harry should cry as I had sent Jane to wash. Mrs K. sent was reading a novel, and he teased her about it laugh- -ingly. So we had a pleasant evening. Sunday I slept so painfully night before last that Bess insisted October 19 on sleeping with me. I did not sleep at all till after three. Minded Harry, wrote diary, took a walk, wrote to Tom. I read today using a reference book, and had quite a pleasant Sunday. Read one of Arnold's sermons to Bess. Monday A pretty restless night, and a very busy day. I let Jane go to wash a quantity of flannels which took her till a quarter past two. I took care of Miss Harry, sewing when she went to sleep. Then I walked to the garden hurrying up as the cars came for my letters. One for Tom from Mr Struthers about his election, one for me from Tot, and one for the Judge from Tom speaking of his being suc- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p217.jpg) -cessful so far, and well in health. I asked Tot if she wouldn't rather have a sewing machine than a photograph thing, and she says, "Yes, by all means." In the evening I sat sewing by Mrs K. while Jane ironed. I wrote a little bit of a note to Tom Tuesday A week and two days before I may look for Tom! I slept Octr 21 very little, and when I did, had bad dreams. Gave J. P. Green money to pay Penington's Bill. Wrote diary before breakfast. Drew part of a mosquito with the Camera, but thoughtlessly let it fall before its outline even was com- -plete. Sewed, took a little walk, and read Tom's Negro paper which is very interesting. I wish I might send it to Papa to read! My room was cleaned today, and I was turned out after superintending the disembowelling of my closet. Mrs Mitchell Lizzy and a Mrs Clark took tea here. Wrote to Papa and Tom. No letter from him. Wednesday What a lovely day, a golden haze hanging over all the Oct 22. autumn landscape, and not a sound in the air unless a chestnut patters through the leaves falling to the ground. Our quiet wood nest hears no sound of busy world life. Through the arched boughs we see afar off the three rival banners at Branchtown all drooping sleepily in the warm glowing light. Nearer and brighter tinkles our brook barring us with its line of light from the outer world. I stroll lazily about, but no one could take active exercise in such weather. I sew a little sitting by Mother, mind Harry a little, draw wasp's stings and read a novel. Then comes the shriek of the locomotive — who has arrived? Johnny with a letter from Tom. Such good news! Tom is well, successful both in his road, and in pro- -curing summer quarters. He has succeeded in hiring the Wilcox's house for two months. So I spend my afternoon in lazy dreams of happiness. Then comes the evening. I write a little note to Tom, and one to Tot, and spend the rest of the evening sewing by Mrs Kane. Thursday This day week I hope to see my darling. Rose early, Oct 23 tidied my room and read my chapter before break- -fast. Wrote diary, and wrote to Elisha. At eleven Miss Betsy came and she worked with me all day. No news from Tom. Friday passed exactly like Thursday. No news from Tom Saturday Yesterday I had letters from Papa and Harry. Today Harry Oct 25. my little one, I mean, was fretful and seemed to be teething ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p218.jpg) Walter brought Sabina to see me. She pleased me very much indeed. Quiet, gentle, and ladylike, determined and very fond of Walter. Less regularity of feature than I expected, for she is sharp chinned, and long-nosed, but a very pretty complexion. Lizzie came out too. I was very weary when they went and kept quiet all the evening. Sunday After reading a chapter in Ezekiel strolled round the place October 26 gathering bright leaves for Bess to deck the fruit with. Minded Harry and wrote diary. I have been very dispirited the last two days. No word from Tom, and I miss him so dreadfully. – I left off writing here for the 10 A.M. train came in, and with it my own boy. He had grown uneasy about me, and had injured his eye very much so he came home. A bough pushed aside by his horse had knocked against his eye, and for some time he was quite blind. Even then he did not forget me, God bless him, but grasped some moss which he brought home to show me that he remembered me. My darling! He was sick, poor fellow, with a severe cough and cold. We were very happy however, and when Walter and Sabina came I was so glad to suprise them. Walter and I had a long medical talk God be thanked for the help He enables me to give! Monday As it was a bad day, Tom stayed at home and we talked October 27 a great deal. Especially about Judge Wilcox's. On Tuesday he went to town and brought out a quantity of money. Weir also lent me a number of microscope drawings. I finished Tom's wrapper, made one for Harry, and a nightcap for myself. Wednesday, I drew with the Camera, copied circulars for the Judge, and did some copying for Tom. Thursday, except while minding Harry, I wrote from Tom's dictation, nearly all day, and all the evening. Friday Tom went to town this morning. I took care of Harry October 31 till about ten, then wrote diary, then wrote to Walter, minded Harry again, and drew with the camera till dinner time. Tom brought me a note from Papa. The evening was spent in sewing and chatting Saturday Paid Jane's wages, wrote diary, minded Harry, wrote to Papa, Nov. 1 and sewed awhile. I was quite absorbed in a drawing from the Camera till my dear Tom came home. On Sunday we read together and strolled in the garden. In the evening as I sat by Harry's cradle, Bessie sought me out to ask my counsel – she said – but rather to relieve ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p219.jpg) her feelings. Then for the first time I read her heart more deeply than she knew, poor dear sister. I prayed for her as I do now that God would guide her as He knows it is best for her. But I must not write more, for if I die soon, Tom may look here, and though he may know the secrets of my heart, hers are not mine. And oh, dear Tom, if you ever do read this remember how dearly I loved you, with my whole heart. He and I had a talk – I was depressed, and selfishly betrayed it – till I felt his tears on my cheek, oh my darling. Monday & Two quiet uneventful days, Tom went in town Tuesday the second, and I miss him. In the evening my head ached, so I went to bed very early, and hardly slept all night. I had a letter from Tot, and one from Harry on Monday. Both very pleasant. I wrote to all three girls, and finished a second nightcap besides hemming half a dozen towels. Wednesday Quite a busy day. I wrote copies, and then drew maps Nov. 5. etc for Tom till near two o'clock. Then I wrote diary. Besides I minded Harry. I felt tired, having scarcely slept. Dear little Harry grows more charming every hour. Before dinner I drew a bee's sting under the Camera, and after tea I read aloud to Tom and Bess the first Act of Richard III. I forgot to say that today I finished my second copy book, and Tom says I am much improved. But there is no improvement since I came home compared to that I made in Elk County. Poor Harry's cold has settled on her chest. Thursday I sewed nearly all day, at a little pink frock for Harry. November 6. I wrote a very little for Tom also, wrote diary. Friday I worked pretty hard all the morning, making eight towels in November 7. little more than an hour. Then Tom drove me far out on Fisher's Lane near Frankford, a delicious drive. The Judge brought me very nice letters from Papa and Walter. In the evening I bound a baby's shawl. I have been very busy and happy this week, though Mrs K. makes me feel very uncomfortable about Dr Wistar. Saturday Mended clothes for the wash, put a cap into Harry's new hood Nov 8 put bladders on my quinces — housekeeping for dear Elk Co– talked to Mrs K. who makes me very uncomfortable, minded Harry, and wrote diary. Yesterday I subscribed to Miss Mitchell's reading lessons, & I hope it will be a help to her, poor thing. In the afternoon Bess brought two school-girls ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p220.jpg) to spend their Sunday out of town. So I talked to them all the evening. Tom brought me copy books enough to complete my set, and a number of colored crayons to adorn Harry's pictures with. Every day she stands at my knee poring over them, wee dar= =ling. Sunday This morning I minded Harry till I was quite tired out, so I took Novr 9. quite a walk to brisken my spirits before the reading. When I came in Johnny was rude to Tom and I got so frightened that I made Tom go out again with me, and afterwards we read very pleasantly together. But Tom proposed our going to town, and I found I had a marvellous inclination to say, Yes. God help me to do right! And oh, make Tom a Christian! Monday Harry is sixteen months old today, and so improved. She is more Nov. 10 like a two year old child. I wrote my first copy in my new writing book, and wrote diary. Then I took a walk to the garden then sat and sewed, then took another walk and then wrote to M. Jones. In the evening read aloud part of the time, and then sat sewing while Tom sang song after song for me which was very pleasant. Harry was not well for two or three days but I think she is quite well now. She will soon reject the support she still requires in walking: today she rises to her feet unaided. Wrote to M. Jones. Tuesday Minded Harry, wrote diary, part of a copy, and wrote a letter Nov. 11. to Tot, a note to Becky Patterson, took two little strolls, sewed and helped Mrs K. read aloud. I have had Harry on my hands a great deal these last few days owing to Jane's being absorbed in William, who is sick. Tom brought me home Carpenter on the Microscope, "Bothwell" by Aytoun, and the 4th volume of Macaulay's England. Read some of the second book in the evening. Wednesday I miss Tom so much. He will not reach home till night, either V2 Much less Nov. 12. today or tomorrow, and he has been equally long absent yesterday, Monday and Saturday. Read Bothwell, wrote diary sorted and darned stockings, took a walk and sewed at my night caps. I saw in the papers that Tom had been nominated as City Member of the S. and E. R.R. Board, and when he came home we talked about it almost all the evening. Thursday I expected a very dull day, but it turned out pleasant, though Nov. 13 Tom was away till bedtime. I took two walks, wrote my diary and my copies, and read some of Macaulay's History. Then I sewed, and coloured some little pictures for Harry who enjoys them keenly. Afterwards I drew with the Camera – a Fly's antenna a pair of spider's claws, and the "ligula" and "maxillae" ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p221.jpg) of a Bee. The latter interests me much. Carpenter classifies the divisions of the mouth, as the Ligula, "Maxillae" and "Mandibulae" says the Ligula is solid, not tubular "as some suppose" and has a very indifferent woodcut. Hogg, who has a much better woodcut says that there is a lancet shaped dart, (unmentioned by Carpenter) and draws what I make out a tube in the specimen I have, as a lance, exterior to the Ligula. — Tom sent me out a nice bureau for my room, and brought me a new review, English papers etc. He tries to bring me something every day, dear fellow. Friday I had Harry weighed today; she is 22 lbs. I sewed and minded Nov. 14 Harry, wrote my diary etc until 11 o'clock when Aunt E. Leiper came and I gave up doing anything till she went. I felt humiliated before her, for she seems to breathe "a purer ether, a diviner air." Good Christian Lady! I walked down to the bridge, back, and all round the garden and then went to the cars for Tom. He brought me a book of the Rosine Associations, and subscribed $6. Also nice letters from Papa, Willie and Uncle Cross. Lizzie Mitchell came out at half past five and stayed all night. Harry was on her very best behaviour. She sat on a stool, talking, saying every word she knew. She kisses me now when she thinks she has been naughty, and says "a good baby"! Ran tucks in two or three frocks. Saturday Minded Harry, wrote diary – by the bye Harry weighs 22 lbs, Nov. 15 and after counting the clothes, mended the soiled ones. Becky came out at 1/2 past 9 and stayed till 4. She was pleased with Harry who was perfectly fascinating today. I sewed a great deal, and so had a backache, cramp, a cry, and a restless night. Sunday I had a very pleasant day. After I ended my task of 16th minding Miss Harry. I sat with Mrs K. some time. Then Tom and I read a nice sermon of Arnold's and the chapter from which the text was taken. Then we walked round the hill to the garden and back. In the evening I sat sometime with Mrs K. then went down and listened to the singing, and then repeated hymns etc to Tom until my bedtime. Mrs K was allowed to try to walk. Slept nicely. Monday Minded Harry, dusted my room, coloured some of her pic- 17th -tures, and wrote diary. Wrote to Papa, and read in Ma- -caulay about Ginkell's Campaign in Ireland looking out the places on the map, which I hope will fix it in my mind. Tom brought me a sweet letter from dear Tot ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p222.jpg) begging me to let her stay with me next week. So I wrote to her too. This evening I finished a third nightcap, and then listened to Mrs K. who is reading "Dred" aloud to us. It is so funny to hear her indignation at Mrs Stowe's incidents! We drove her out for the first time today. Tuesday I had scarcely finished my morning's attendance on Miss November 18 Harry when Mrs K. sent for me to listen to "Dred." I took my sewing and stayed till eleven when we went driving till near dinner time. Tom brought me another letter, a kind merry one, from Tot. He brought a $100 share in the S. and E. R.R. too so we have now $900 invested. We owe nearly $500 for board however, but we are paying it off $20 a week. Wednesday Busy sewing pretty nearly all day. Tom did not get home till nightfall. Harry had something like hysterics. Thursday Thanksgiving Day! I sewed, finishing a little crimson frock 20th Nov. for Harry, and then rode as far as the woodgate where Tom met me, and we had a lovely stroll home. His headached badly poor felow and we were both depressed about Elisha. Both Pat and John dined here, and Bess went back to town with them. She is to spend a fortnight with Lily Macalestert. I shall miss her very much. I read aloud to Tom all the evening, which was a very happy one. Friday Sewed and minded Harry all the morning, till 1/2 past 12. Then 21st Nov. went driving with Mrs K. as far as Cheltenham. Mrs Miller came out, and I set her to work at once. After dinner and my nap there was a fuss about Mrs M's meals. I sewed on Harry's new spotted frock, read about the Massacre of Glencoe to myself and read Richard III to Tom. A very pleasant letter from Papa. Saturday Slept wretchedly. Tied up Weir's slides to return them, and put 22nd Novem. away my microscope, camera lucida, and various books which I shan't need for some time. Wrote diary, minded Harry, counted clothes. Cousin Mary Gray came out in the cars, and spent the day. I walked a little, and went to meet Tom at the cars. He brought me a nice letter from Tot, and he had one from Elisha – oh so sorrowful. Sick and disheartened, with all his idealisations of Lady Franklin dispersed! I think I would have asked Tom to go after him if it had not been uncertain how long he would stay in England – I finished Harry's little spotted frock. Sunday I slept little and did not rise, till near ten o'clock. I 23rd Nov. had my room all put in order. Then Tom read me the first chapter of St Luke, and we read a sermon of Arnold's together. I wrote a little notekin to Tot, and now I am all ready. When shall I be out of suspense? Shall I ever ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p223.jpg) write in this book again? If not, Farewell Tom, my own dear Life. God ever bless and watch over you. May we meet in Heaven! Monday Here I am again, after a false alarm. The doctor was summoned at 24th November. midnight, every one in expectation. Fell asleep, waked refreshed in the morning, and am now at work on another frock for H.A.K. I was very well all yesterday but did not go down stairs as W. Moss and Johnny were there. I wrote to Bess as well as to Tot. I read Macaulay pretty steadily till tea-time Then Tom read aloud "Scribe's Domino Noir" to me, and though I did not feel very well I stayed downstairs till half past ten, and then went to bed. There I read to myself awhile till Tom came. Between At twelve I sent him for the Dr. (16 between 12 & 1) He came by one and the little one was born at 28 minutes past 2, Tuesday, Nov. 25. When they told me it was a boy, I was so glad. I screamed "Tom, Tom" to let him know. My Father I thank Thee for thy mercy. I prayed not to have a boy unless he might be a Christian. Since Thou gavest him, help us to make him Thy servant! A prayer most fully granted! E.D.K. April 27th 1906 Every one rejoices that our bright eyed little baby is a boy. Tom and I want to call him Willie after Willie Kane, the family are divided between John and Elisha. On the fourth day they began feeding me up, the tenth I got up, the twelfth I read, the thirteenth (today, Sunday the 7th Dec) I write my diary. They have been uneasy about E K K's health, fearing consumption, but yesterday better news came. So Tom and his mother who were to go today to meet him at Cuba, put it off till Thursday. It is a pull! Tom brought home ever so much money enough to pay our Board and leave some over. Thank God for all His mercies! I pray Him to help me to manage my dear Harry. Monday I pencilled a few words of diary last night. What I meant about Decr 8 Harry was this. Since my sickness she has been very fretful, she sleeps less than ever, though she looks well. She does not eat much either. Her mind is too active. How to make her sleep and eat? How prettily she behaved when "Baby boy" was first shown her! Dear Harry she is always good with me! My nurse had to leave me last night, and a new one came. I hope I shall like her as much! I found a letter I dictated to Tot last week lying on the window sill. It must have slipped under T's papers! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p224.jpg) Thursday Yesterday I was allowed to cross over to one of the other bedrooms Decr 11th for awhile. I was able to help Tom a little with his work. He had an interview with the S. & E. Board completely baffling their exposing their Engineer's ignorance, but his heart relented, and he let him off till today. Dearest Tom, I shall miss him dread- -fully! I can hardly help crying when I think of his going Going tomorrow too! Tuesday My dear Tom found he could stay with me till Sunday December 16 night. We were together so much and I feared I should let him see how I dreaded his going so I exerted myself too much and had a pretty bad headache. But I managed to keep up, and bid him farewell cheerfully. Bessie followed me upstairs to tell me that Tom had left word that he had engaged a photographer to teach me, and also a carpen- -ter to fit up a dark closet, etc. How kind in him! This new token of his thoughtfulness makes me anxious to show him that I can do rightly for him and I will try to be as cheery as he could wish. God bless the dear fellow! While I am still in my room, so little happens worth mentioning that it seems useless to write in this book. Bessie said at tea last night (I go down to tea, & dinner since Saturday) that Lily Macalester was saying how sad and dull her sister-in-law's and my lives must be! Lily pity me! Ah Tom, I feel what a wonderful happiness God has bestowed on me in your love and com- -panionship, and in our children — and all the family here, and in New York. So many to love, and Lily has no one but that unintellectual father. She need not pity me. — Baby 3 weeks old. The doctor says he never saw so perfectly normal a labour as mine was, even among the labouring classes. I am thank- -ful that God made dear Tom take such care of me. Wednesday A note from dear Tom saying he was very well and all going Dec. 17th right, and another from Tot asking Baby's name, came last night. I wrote to Mrs Wilcox and answered Tot's not yesterday. The baby laughed four times today in answer to our chirruping to it. — Bessie and I read together last evening but this one she was away. However I keep my spirits, and will do so for my darling's sake if I can. Thursday Nice long letters yesterday from Papa and Walter, and a Decr 18 note dated Weldon from Tom. God bless him the dear fellow. I idled about all day. In the evening the Judge and I read Rebecca and Rowena alternately. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p225.jpg) Mother spoke to me about photographing – and so a "gorgon or chimera dire" expires. Friday Came to the conclusion that I would give Xmas presents Decr 18 to the family alone. Found they mounted up considerably. Harry has such fits of crying at night. I wish I could find a remedy. Oh, if I had not been so nervous before her birth! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p226.jpg) March 21 Such a long time since I wrote! I have spent too dull and 1857 unhappy a winter to write in my diary lest that confidential friend should betray me into losing my cheerfulness. But winter is over, Tom came back this month, and today I found hepaticas in bloom. So spring has come and I shall try to write in my diary in hopefulness. Charlotte has been with me since the 12th of January. She finds home intolerable, and has written to ask leave to return to Walter's, until she comes to me for Elk County. 18th March. Last Tuesday I went to town for the sake of seeing Miss Preston. Dear Tom had the pleasantest of surprises for me. He took me to take my first lesson in photography. I have had two real lessons since, on Wednesday and Friday, and am to take one on Tuesday. The two I have had were in printing positives from negatives, the next will be taking negatives. We printed two of Gray's Ferry, five small and two large ones of E.K.K., two of old Mr Kirkbride, and two of some old lady. These were done the first day. Yesterday I took in four negatives of negroes, Tom brought me from Havana. Of these we printed eight, I think, two of each. — Mr L. sometimes prints a gross in a day. I think his process is as follows, for printing. Chlor. Amon.. Iod Pot[-]ss) Saturate your photographic paper thoroughly in salt <(Chlor. Amon.. Iod Potass)> and water. This can be done several weeks before you use it. Hang it up to dry. When you wish to use it, you first bend back one corner to hold the paper by, then lay it diagonally on a solution of nitrate of silver. Here it remains five minutes, you then lift it carefully to prevent any of the liquid running over the wrong side of the paper, and pin one corner to a cork by a gold pin. Place a little dish under for it to drain into, and fasten a little piece of bibulous paper to the lowest corner to facilitate the draining. When it ceases to drip fasten it by a little wooden clothespin to a little line stretched across your closet, and prepare to print. Lay your negative face upward on the glass of your printing press, on it the sensitive side of your paper, cover with the paper or velvet cover or wad of your printing press, then the wooden cover, and put down the springs. All this has been done in the dark closet. Now take out your fr press & expose your picture to the light for the requisite time. Then taking it into the dark closet, release it from the press and immerse it in salt and water where it begins to redden slightly. Keep it there an indefinite time, say 20 minutes. Then taking it out into the light immerse it in hyposulphite of soda. There it becomes redder, then a bluishness steals over it, and you take it out ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p227.jpg) when it is of a reddish purple, and put under the water tap, Let it flow softly for several hours and then hang it up to dry. This seems very simple but I must expect to fail often before I succeed, because it needs a very experienced eye to detect the right shades of colour at which the various processes must stop. March 22 Master Elisha gave us a fine fright last night, rolling his head off his crib pillow till it hung down on my bed. Tom and Harry and Pat and Mother and I all have such very bad colds. that we can hardly enjoy this lovely spring Sunday. March 25 I stayed at home these two days expecting Mr Sangenheim. I wonder he doesn't come! Dear Tom is putting up a workshed for me. How kind he always is! Friday No Sangenheim. I swept out my workshop, and it is all ready. March 27 Tom went to town this morning. My poor darling I feel so sorry for him. I knew that he had the idea of going to the Arctic Regions but I hoped he was not so bent upon it On Wednesday they read the will, and yesterday evening Tom laid his proposal before the family. How dreadfully he looked! I am afraid I could hardly have stood it out, even though I differed from him so much, if it had depended upon me. My poor, poor boy! Presently he asked me to leave them, and then I ran upstairs, and prayed God to strengthen him. Poor Tom, my poor darling! Johnny came up and kissed me, seeming very much moved and saying what a "big soul" Tom was, but that it would kill him to go–. It was settled against him, though I know it was hard for them to deny him. I cannot write more about it – I must not let myself cry. April 13 I have had no time to write for this is the only day when Tom has been in town without my having a lesson from Mr Sangenheim. I have had ten, I think. Yesterday, he did not come and I tried to take a picture and though I failed yet it was quite a respectable failure – enough to encourage me for the future. Today is too cold for me to work, out in the shed or I should try again. I am very thankful for Tot's prospects. When Papa came here I had the longest talk with him! I persuaded him to let her go to Walter's now. She comes to me for the summer and again in the winter I hope she will come to live near us. Isn't this a great success? Tom is very unhappy. May God comfort him! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p228.jpg) For nearly a week we went on just as usual. Tom was very unhappy, but struggling bravely against it. I tried, whenever there was any sun- -shine, to take pictures, but I cannot say I made much of it. On the seventeenth came a pressing letter from Walter urging us to come and see Charlotte. We telegraphed next morning that we were coming to the Clarendon, and at the same time received a letter from Papa declining an offer Tom made him to build a house for Tot on the Nice property. We set off, both worn out and anxious and on our arrival found that Walter Tot and Sabina were all at Orange. Walter had telegraphed at 1/2 past 1, to stop us. As we started at two o'clock, this was absurd, and we were very much provoked. Tom did not say how much, for my sake, but I was mortified enough, knowing what exertions my darling had made for the sake of coming. Tot knew nothing about our coming. Papa came up to the Claren- -don, and had rather an unpleasant talk with Tom. Tom showed him the course he had taken, and why. Afterwards we went over to 5 West, and bade goodnight, seeing C.M. in her wrapper. Sunday the 19th the children breakfasted with me, and Cousin M. and Pat dined with us. After dinner Pat went away. I lay down, and Tom and C.M. had some conversation. Then we moved to 5 West. Monday was stormy, and Tom after waiting till 5 o'clock went home. On Tuesday I saw Tot and Sabina and spent the evening at their house. It is decided that Charlotte shall go to the mountains with us, and then remain with Walter for the winter. The two girls must stay at home. I tried to interest Harry in some work. I thought Tot looked thin and sallow, but she seemed quite happy and said Sabina was very sweet and kind an to her. I came back hopeful of better things than I looked for when I went, but with a sad destruction of "Mes Chateaux." Still I think it was worth while going though I missed celebrating the Fourth Anniversary of my Wedding Day at home Thank God for those four happy years! May 2. Such a dreary day! I wanted to go out and print pictures so much! Yesterday I was in town all day, and prepared paper in the evening for printing today. But I see no chance of getting half an hour even of sunshine, and on Monday Mr Sangenheim comes to give me my twelfth lesson. My darling babies come on finely. Harry is the greatest chatterer! Little 'Lishe crows so loudly that it sounds like the voice of an older child than Harry. He begins to notice strange ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p229.jpg) faces, and to recognise familiar ones. Harry begins to caress and kiss her favorites unasked. It seems so strange to have my own children, one clinging to my knees, the other lying in my arms, and to feel so much younger than I did at sixteen. Poor Minnie Morris is dead! leaving two chilren – she might have been a happier, stronger woman but for our school discipline. I wish I could have done something for her, poor little thing. She was just 22, last month. So hopeful when she was here, a bride, so short a time ago. My dear Tot– oh I wish she could live with us! She feels happier with us than with any one else. Tom looks worse and worse as the weeks go by. Oh my darling, may God bring you out of this fiery furnace of trouble a happy Christian May 15. I am over twenty one now! I feel younger than I did when I was sixteen. Strange that it should be so. I thank God for the happy years since I married. May they strengthen me to bear misfortune. I suppose it must come to me as it does to all. I wish Walter had behaved better! Poor Tot is at home again for the present – as Walter and his wife decided to go to her mother's if it were convenient for Tot to come here. Papa wrote to say that as he could not spare time to accompany her, she must come and stay there awhile. There she is accordingly, Mrs W. refusing to see her. Tom went on, and Papa, though glad he came seemed to wish her to stay there still. So we are waiting till she likes to come. I have had one more lesson from Sangenheim, making I think, the twelfth. My sewing machine has come home too, so I have plenty to occupy me. Beside these things, I have been reading Elisha's diary. I so wish I had read it before! It shows him so noble! If he could but return it seems as if we would know how to treat him better. To think that he was dying, and knew it, before he went to England! May 18 How annoying! Mr S– has not been here for quite a long time and as he has my camera I can take no pictures, and so the golden spring days are slipping away bringing me near the time for going to the mountains and making me lose this lovely period when the leaves are coming out. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p230.jpg) On Saturday "Mrs Saydy" brought her little girl to see Harry, who was perfectly bewitched. She tried to entertain her, repeating all her nursery rhymes, one after the other, "Dr Foster went to Gloster," "Jack and Jill", "Bobby Shaftoe", "A misty moisty morning" etc, with no pause between them, greatly to the other childs astonishment! I am going to do my very best to make a pretty set of photographs for Johnny to take away. He goes next week to France. I wrote last night to Tot. She comes to us on Wed- -nesday. Poor thing she has a hard time of it! Tom and I will do our best to make her happy this summer. God bless our efforts! Monday was A cold raw day but I worked very busily, and succeeded in printing fourteen prints, very well indeed, and of a very nice tone, I think. I am so glad that the back of that is broken at least. Tuesday One of the usual days of pouring rain when I May 19 vainly expected a lesson from Mr Langenheim, but still I was nicely occupied. First, I mounted the remaining ones of a set of photographs for Johnny– eight in number, and then I made some curtains in the machine. Tom says that my eye is becoming quite accurate. I have been trying to draw little ornamental borders of flowers and leaves. Although my touch is niggling as ever, yet they have quite a little effect of their own. Miss Harry was pretending to read – out of Watts' Hymns! – "Come, brave boys, let us be joggin' Let every one drink off his noggin"– etc The little darling looked so pretty with her blue eyes dancing with fun. — Little Elisha is so good, and strong and amiable, that I hope his strength of constitution will carry him through the summer. I dread his teething. He suffers so even with these first ones, and they are not through yet. — I've been making a list of some things we want to take to the mountains, and I am reminded that I have not described my beautiful birthday gift from dear Tom. It is a lady's camera, the first made so lightly, and elegantly finished. The material is the tough root of the walnut, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p231.jpg) whose strength enables the instrument to be just half the ordinary thickness, a quarter, instead of half, an inch. Instead of the oblong shape of the ordinary camera, (which has two apertures for the grounder glass by which you lengthen or shorten the dark chamber) this is square, and half the length. The other piece, which is only necessary in copying pictures, etc, is removeable, and is left behind when you want to take an house put out of doors picture. The lens can be unscrewed and placed inside the camera. A screw adjustment allows it to be elevated or depressed half an inch. (This is for the sake of adjusting the level in taking stereoscopic views.) Instead of a foot long board projecting beyond the camera to serve as a floor, a neat hinge and catch secure to the bottom of the camera a piece of the same size, which turns back, and is screwed to the stand, by screws that don't tumble out, as the others in the old camera will do. Then there is a bright handle to carry it by, and it is beautifully polished, and not top -heavy, like the old ones. — So much for the camera. — The stand is of the same light wood, dark coloured and relieved by the bright, easy-turning screws. It shuts up, like the camera, to half the size of the old one, and has a central screw, which enables one to turn the camera upwards or downward or sideways as you want it. Any one who has pulled and screwed in vain trying to make the old cameras stand on a sloping hill side can appreciate the luxury of this. Then there is a plate box, holding a half dozen plate-holders. Instead of the ugly black things we had, each of these is of pretty wood I spoke of. Instead of the loose shutter which I always put in wrong side up, and which joggled the plate about, there is one hinged on, with a spring to keep the plate steady. Instead of drawing the front shutter out, (and missing the slit when you put it back again while you grow hotter and hotter because you know that, though the shutter can't get in, the light ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p232.jpg) can, and is spoiling your plate finely), instead of this it only draws up a certain distance, and is retained from falling back by a spring, while the bar which prevents it from being drawn out entirely, also prevents the light from striking in. I forgot to say that the diaphragms will be metal, instead of card, fitting certain places instead of being loosely poked in. The lens also can be turned, and pictures, doubling the size of the objects, taken, by using merely the front lens. It is the most luxurious thing! It seems a pity to throw it away on such a dabbler as I am! [illustration comparing her two cameras] New Camera Old Camera June 7. Since I wrote I have taken several pictures entirely alone and I may hope to succeed pretty well in the mountains. We hope to start tomorrow week. I did a very painful thing I night before last – spoke to J.P. about her want of cleanliness. I would have avoided it, if possible – indeed I put it off from week to week though I knew it ought to be done. So I prayed God to put the right words into my mouth, and then spoke just what words came to me, I know I did it as kindly as possible, though I was very much confused. She was hurt and angry, and said she would not return tonight— (it is her Sunday in town). I should be sorry for my own convenience to have her go, for she is amiable, quick and neat handed, and tolerably well educated. But if she goes I know there is a reason for it, and God will take care to send me a good woman instead. So I shall see this evening. I expect Tom this evening. He has been away a week trying to break a return of his ague, and to cheer his spirits. He gets so distressed about Elisha. I cannot wonder. Even I who knew him only when he was broken spirited – feel his loss more and more. I am so sorry for any harsh words I wrote last year! Still, if I had not persisted in Tom's working less, he would have killed himself in E's service. I did what seemed right then, I trust it was. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p233.jpg) Both the children well and charming. Within the last fort- -night Harry has begun to sing. No tune, but plenty of words, rhythmed like a dear little summer breeze. There she sits singing "Roi d'Yvetot" in her sweet childish tones. May God spare the dear little ones to us if they can grow up Christians! It is so pretty to see Elisha's admiration of Harry and her patronising little ways to "my dear little burrer." ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p235.jpg) List of Books read 1855. Jan 1st Nicholas Nickleby. 3rd Commenced Condie on Infant Hygiene. 5th Putnam's Magazine. 5th Commenced Life of H. Greeley. Finished January 17th. 10th Henry Edmond. 26th Bayard Taylor's Poems. February 6 Wikiff's "Courtship." Ruskin's Modern Painters commenced, Racine's tragedies <10, 12, 13.> 17 Bachelor of the Albany. Am re-reading my Physiology. Westminster Review <15>, Blackwood, <14> Cranford North British & London Quarterly. March Heartsease, Katharine Ashton, Harper's Magazine, Manuel des Fallis d'asile <14-17>. Edinburgh Review. <17> Notions sur les Arts et Métiers, commenced translating <24>. <23> La Brelagne April Enseignement des Salles d'asile. Household Words. Histoire d'une Salle d' asile <23-8th May> Thiodolf the Icelander <24-26> by Fouqué. Amy as Leigh<30 to May 1>. Harper's Magazine May 3 Arnold's Poems <3> Harper's Magazine. Life of Houston <15 to 19>. Un Philosophe sous les Toits <17 & 19>. Putnam's Magazine. Household Words. Life of Mrs Graham <20>. Westminster Review Combe on Infancy <25 to>. The Englishwoman in Russia <25 to 30>. June Howadje in Syria. Nile notes of da[-] ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B26_F9_p237.jpg) A cord 39 2/10 Pendulum beat of a second ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I1_p001.jpg) Harrisburg, April 1. 1859, 10 P.M. My dear one: By travelling to night till one o clock I might save one day perhaps two days. By waiting I shall not set off till One tomorrow, shall not arrive in Williamsport before Six, shall have to spend all Sunday probably in that sacred place; and I am through all my work, and very homesick. But, literally, to keep my word and not put it through, I intend to take a great sleep and late breakfast here where I am so well quartered, and ensure myself strength and fat when I reach the roughing it of McKean County. Now will you be true to your promise? I have ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I1_p002.jpg) I have my House of Refuge $20.000. Whic[-] I hope will put an end to the rattan slithry business once and for all. You will be content also that I have done Horace B. Fry a good turn or two. But please send some one with a card of mine to the Evening Journal to subscribe to it in the name of Mrs. J. K. Kane, who will refund the subscription. I had not time to attend to it as I promiesed. As to Elk County, Judge Wilcox will let us have it two years, if Jones please — though what I will do when I get up there I have not yet concluded. My examinations in the Surveyors Office here have also been advantageous to our New Islanders claim. Now good night: think of me Sunday as I shall think of you. I will be worshipping you, but you must worship some one higher so as to pray for Your faithful lover ever. Th. L. K. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I2_p001.jpg) Report of the Secretary of the Interior for 1859. Reports having prevailed to an alarming extent as to the expenses of the State the Secretary of the Interior deems it her duty to present the true facts of the case. It would be hard to suppose that the rigid economy practised by the Govern= =ment should be of no avail. The Secretary must state that at least $3800 has been spent. But this sum is first reduced by the sale of Frank and the wagon to $3000 Next the following items must be set down Carriage 200 Horses 650 Cows 170 Wagon 65 Freight 207 Saddle Horse 150 Furniture 425 Addition 720. = 2587. Now these are investments, and reduce the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I2_p002.jpg) amount spent to $1213, eight hundred of which is accounted for by the sale of horse and wagon mentioned above. The Secretary would further state that the purchase of poultry was an investment and that numerous small expenses may be reduced. Still as unforeseen expenses will arise, she cannot ensure that the State will be strictly within its revenue. But affairs encourage her very much and she hopes that the report will set the nation more at ease. Could the nation contrive either to save or to make about $200 a year more it could get along nicely. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I3_p001.jpg) [page torn on left side] 15 bu. 1000 (15 55 350 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I5_p001.jpg) Dearest Wifie: Fear deferred can make the heart sick. I am waiting in this dark little 86 Room of the poisoned National Hotel for the answer which Vandyke is to bring me from the President in reply to my offer:— as if it were not pain enough to be away from you, my love, when my own will might bring me to your side. You remember I did not bear away with me the precious book, your precious gift. If I had even it here! I have made out for Pat a sheet full of reasons for my voyage, which pray read over before you hand them to him. I have written them in humiliation – for I had rather not have been driven to confess to any other motives than the desire to do unrewarded duty, or thoughts other than those of unhesitating sacrifice of myself for the good of my country and the heart of the gospel of = ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I5_p002.jpg) A truth whose which, alas, I have lived ever so heedless of. The good opinion of those dearest to me, I cd. make up my mind to surrender, I am sure, with other values — but an overpowering influence – an animal instinct I suppose it is – makes the pain of one more turn of the wheel too much. I find I cannot stand the thought that my little chicks may be taught that their father ran away and left them and their sainted mother — thoughtless of all duties which he owed them among others. My wife, my angel, not by you, my own one — my constant blessing and invariable comfort as you have ever been (and this is why I think I am to lose you) — A woman comes in to empty the slops — and I find that I am weeping which she must not see – and I must stop as I cannot write without tears falling. May our God keep you and bless you and bless me for you. [illegible deletion] Your faithful Th. L. Kane Saturday morning. I keep the Pats to copy off clearly ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I6_p001.jpg) My dear one, my darling, my angel treasure. How could she suffer me to leave her side to go upon this solitary journey! If it be granted me to return and find her alive and well, will I get again – will I ever leave the blessed place which she inhabits – ever forget how wretched I am where I cannot look upon her angel face? Dearest darling, I fear you might think me sick and grieve yourself if I should write you an expiatory letter, relating how, in my absence from the work of home, I have had leisure to think of all my failures of duty to you – how most of all I repent of the loss of the many happy hours and days of hours which I might have enjoyed in the duty of making you and myself with you happy. But alas, there has been the evil itself. It is so truly my highest happiness to spend my time on pleasure with you, that I feel as though it were ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I6_p002.jpg) ( over selfish indulgence; and thus look to you who give me and order me my pleasure and benefit in all things, to invite me and permit me to do that which to your own thinking is only for your gratification. — Do you know that it has been a cherished purpose with me ever since I got back from the West, to carry you some twilight of the evening to vesper service at St Peters? Do I not remember that I have never yet gone with you to the Acadamy of Fine Arts or the Gallery of the Natural Sciences eve[-]? And the grape vine blossom drive,— poor me!– it is years — three years at least, since I first planned it in my mind that when we took it I should at a certain spot under the railroad embankment there, remind that I had not forgotten where it was you threw both arms around me and declared that you loved me better than you had ever done in your life before. — Such thoughts seem more than the 300 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I6_p003.jpg) ( 300 miles away from this wintry region. I have not headed my note with a place of date because you would not know its name. It is "Forks of Sinnemahoning–" so called from a stream whose waters I see from my window blown past by the wind of an outrageous snow storm. The raftsmen are smoking and spitting on the stove in the dirty little bar room, in one corner of which I have this memorandum book upon my knee. I wish they wouldn't swear so, for when I am away from you the affliction renders me pious, and the prominent feature of my present mood is a regret that I came away without the little bible and markers, which at least I had the advantage of having with me among the snows of Utah. I cannot read it, I cannot do anything to prove my affection for you. But I can obey you. So I cease straining my eyes and fall to conversation with a travelling companion at my elbow, and only add a few words to say ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I6_p004.jpg) that I have not yet put it through, and, though I am a day behind ( time, intend to stay at my present quarters till the weather changes. My strength increases as I rise above the tide level. There can be no mistaking it. — I shall live long in the land if I am des[-] tined to live with you among the mountains of Elk County. Which that God may grant prays ever Your truly loving grateful husband Th. L. K. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I7_p001.jpg) 1st Schuyler descent Philip Pieterse Schuyler = Margaret Van Schlectenhorst (Gov.) Peter Schuyler. Maria Van Rensselaer dau. of Jeremias V. R. Alida Schuyler = 2dly Robert Livingstone Engeltie Livingstone = John Van Rensselaer (Gen.) Robert Van Rensselaer = Cornelia Rutsen Alida Van Rensselaer = Elisha Kane 2d Schuyler descent Philip Pieterse Schuyler = Margaret Van Schlectenhorst (Gov.) Peter Schuyler = Maria Van Rensselaer Alida Shuyler = 2dly Robert Livingstone Gilbert Livingstone = Cornelia Beekman Alida Livingstone = Jacob Rutsen Cornelia Rutsen = (Gen.) Robert Van Rensselaer Alida Van Rensselaer = Elisha Kane General Philip Schuyler whose memoir is in this book, is descended from a younger son of Philip Pieterse named Johannes. You are descended, as above, from the eldest son, (Governor) Peter. Elizabeth D. Kane Nov. 8, 1905 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I7_p002.jpg) Jeremias Van Rensselaer married Maria Van Cortlandt Their son Hendrik married Catherine Van Brugh Their son, Col. John married Engeltie Livingston Their son Col. Gen. Robert Van Rensselaer married Cornelia Rutsen, and their son Jeremias married Sybil Adeline Kane, while their daughter Alida measured Elisha Kane. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I8_p001.jpg) My dear Bess, I hardly know how to thank you for your kind note which I shall cer- tainly treasure. It shows me that I was very right to speak to you and that neither the warm day nor my bad head-ache made me overly com- -municative. I am sorry however if I have rais- ed such wishes and hopes in my re- gard which the issue may so sum- marily overturn. You may rest assured that I have no confidences from either dear Tom had yourself and perhaps it was the fear that the little tattle of the town might reach your ears, that Made ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I8_p002.jpg) made me the more anxious to prove to you that should I open my ponderous fa[--]s at all it would be to yourself and to you alone. The truth is I have such faith in your kind heart and such reli- ance on your good sense that I am always only too happy to run to you for a word of counsel. Just now unfortunately I have nothing either definite or positive to say and I know no more than that other lunatic, the man in the moon, what tomorrow may bring forth. I wish it were otherwise ~ anything I could say would be vague and unsatisfactory enough. When I see you I shall cer- tainly be most amusingly frank. If ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1a_I8_p003.jpg) If I am not as old and battered at thirty two as I had thought– I have at all events lived long enough to not to feel like a goose if I find myself pretty much of apiece with my bro- ther men. I no longer feel ashamed of what is Natural and I esteem things not the less creditable because they are common place. In which happy mood I will divote myself to my work– and think pretty much of it alone until I have a chance for a good long talk. Yr attached brother Pat. Wednesday March 7: 60 Mrs. T. L. Kane ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p002.jpg) [inside book cover label] MADE AND SOLD BY W. H. MAURICE, Blank Book Manufacturer & Stationer, 112 South Fourth, below Chestnut, Philad'a. Sign of the Eagle, and Bank Ledger, Account Books of the finest quality, together with all kinds of Superior STATIONERY, suitable to Banking or Commercial purposes, constantly on hand. Books Ruled to any pattern, and Bound in the most durable manner, at the shortest notice. All work warranted. Banks, Public Offices, &c. supplied on moderate terms. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p003.jpg) [-]o D. Kane Fern Rock July 17th 1858. Volume 3. August 10th 1858 To April 22. 1860 ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p005.jpg) "Scorn no man's love, though of a mean degree: (Love is a present for a mighty king,) Much lesse make any one thine enemy. As gunnes destroy, so may a little sling. The cunning workman never doth refuse The meanest tool, which he may chance to use. Herbert. "Here in the body pent Absent from God I roam: Yet nightly pitch my moving tent A day's march nearer home." Montgomery. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p007.jpg) Tuesday August 10th 1858. Mt Carbon Schuylhill Co. Pa. Here beginneth the third volume of my diary: an occupation I am too glad to have to have to while away long days. When I am at home, with Tom's letters to occupy me I rarely find time to write more than once or twice a week. Today, I will scribble as long as my feeble eyesight will let me. How come I here? Thus: — When I last wrote, I was in a state of great anx- -iety. Ever since the Judge's death made Tom's resigna- -tion of his office irrevocable, my thoughts had turned towards obtaining him the post of agent for the Mc Kean & Elk Sand and Improvement Company. In one of my letters I suggested it to Tom, and I urged the idea upon Pat. All of us saw how important it might be—but I almost despaired of it. First, the post was already filled: by a great rogue, it is true but still a man in the confidence of the Board. Then, Tom's discovery of the two superior routes for the Sunbury & Erie R. Road. Through Elk Co. obliged him as a Director to urge their adoption. This was against the interest of the Mt. K. & E. Company through whose best Coal lands the inferior route would pass. Nevertheless we hoped, and prayed. I told Tom that if it were well for us, God would give us the place. We discussed, with some earnestness, whether it would be wiser to lay the matter at once before the Board, or to wait till we returned from Elk County. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p008.jpg) I was in favour of the first; Tom thought that during our absence he could procure the confirmation of the roguery of S. the agent. Pat agreed with me, and then Tom admitted that perhaps a part of his inclination for delay, arose from sheepishness. So we began— Tom called on one gentleman, explained his errand, and the necessity of his urging the new routes_ and tried in vain to see another. Pat undertook to see some others, and we hoped that next spring might make him agent. This is Tuesday, Last Sunday we were very bisy, I am sorry to say. I went to church in the afternoon but the remainder of the day except a little while when we were reading was occupied by work. Among other things Tom wrote a brief for Pat's canvassing_ Pat not having made his appearance for a talk Tom wished. Then I made a memorandum of Tom's things, and it was arranged that Tom shd go to town on Monday, see Pat, and another of the Board, and that I should pack, dine early, and bring the children and Morton to meet Tom at the Reading R. R. Depot at 3.30 P. M. So done! Tom did not come till a few minutes before cartime; and then only to say that we must return with him, or proceed a day's journey ahead of him. Why? He had a special engagement to meet the gentlemen of the Board on Tuesday for further instructions= he had just been elected Agent, at a salary of $1000 a year. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p009.jpg) This most joyful news made us very happy, I trust very grateful also. I suppose Pat and Tom have been working more earnestly than I knew. I was very sorry that he could not go with me to enjoy our happiness together. I hope he will come tonight, and we can talk it all over. Thank God for it! Now my darling will have a healthy occupation, and at the same time will be able to make himself an accurate geologist, and surveyor. Seven months of the year we are to pass there, the remainder we can spend in Phila. Therefore, If we live long enough our children can go to school, and yet not be separated from us, and we need not grow rusty in our solitude. The Company give us our favorite See Lot at a [---] nominal rent, want us to build next summer, and will furnish us with boards cheap. It seems like a dream! I thank God earnestly for his mercy to us, and that He has answered my prayers. May He also inspire our hearts with true earnestness to engage in the work before us. Grant us wisdom, charity, and hopefulness! Enable me to profit by the time that shall elapse first, to fit myself to be a better housewife than I was, that I may be a better mistress, wife and mother. May our new home be blessed enough to be pervaded with the True Light. As it lighteneth every man who cometh into the world, grant that we may not bar it out from our hearts. And teach us to look ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p010.jpg) upon our neighbours through its atmosphere . Amen! ~Tom told me to go up to Mt Carbon in order to wait for him at Miss Head's quiet orderly house. We reached here about 20. 8P.M. quite worn out. I had to leave the tea-table and go to my room and bed with a bad sick headache. This morning however we rose refreshed. After breakfast J.P.[-]. left us, and we strolled about a beautiful wood and real hanging garden on the mountain slope. Minding the babies, swinging them, and diarising, the morning has slipped away, and it is now near dinner-time. I have just been thinking that tha Wilcox’s will be glad to sell us three of their bedsteads, wh. will save some carriage. I wonder if it wd not be well to have our foundation laid this year? To think that the castle in the air with which I tried to beguile my sad darling, planning out its airy localities will have a local habitation and a name. A name! What? Tuesday Afternoon. Since dinner I have written to Willie, and to Bessie Kane. We are now going to walk again. About those names I have been running over several in my mind. names dear to us, such as Roseland, Reniselair, Elie, Everton, Deseret, Sh (I can’t remember the place, it means Shane’s House) or one I like, Benvenu. It is a welcome to a guest, it means what the place is to us, and it recalls another occasion when we were very thankful for God’s mercy, when my darling was able to rise from his sickbed to watch the sunset lying purple on the summit of the dear mountains we christened Benvenu, so gladly did we greet ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p011.jpg) their health restoring air. We must remember that houses will probably grow round us, taking the name of our place, so it must not be too hard to spell, for fear of fearfully ludicrous mistakes. This bans Rensselaer, I fear. Fairland is a pretty name though without association, Clarion Rill, Meadow or Valley, are more easily localised, or Clarion Bank. Now Tom must suggest some! We have no German associations or a Deutsch name might be pleasant to the settler's ears. The Nest is perhaps too affectionate. Eagle's nest neither appropriate nor humble enough, while Wolf's nest is perhaps too true. Friday August 13. Marvin Creek Hotel. McKean County. Well the news is all true. We are henceforward to call Elk County home! To live in the West, how little I ever should have imagined such a thing possible five years ago. Tom says we had best either buy or hire some ready built house for a year or two till the railroad is determined as to whether it will go by Tionesta or Kinsu and then build at the Summit as it will be the portion of the Tract he is most desirous of settling up. I was quite sorry for this at first, but now I don't know whether it is not an advantage that we should have time to accustom ourselves to small rooms, and for me to learn mountain ways. This winter I must devote mainly to learning housekeeping. Tom says my time is far more valuable to him if I devote it to intellectual work, and that he must get some farmer's family no matter at what cost to do the housekeeping. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p012.jpg) Now I know well enough that the disorderly house- keeping I have always had, which fretted my tem- -per so arose mainly from my ignorance of the way in which things should be done. I am con- -fident that I should be far happier and stronger in health for a little work, and much better men- tally for not fooling myself so incompetent as I do whenever housekeeping falls to my share. I dread guests most. Tom is a perfect angel for putting up with discomforts, and I believe I could soon accustom myself to being a good mistress of an orderly household. Entertaining is the difficulty. However, I'll do my best! Sunday August 15. Williamsville Elk County. Safe in the dear old house at last. Everything as we left it, except that the furniture is replaced in the old crooked way that distressed [--] so much. They seemed delighted to welcome us, and we were soon completely at home. I set to work on Baby Boy's new frock after dinner and Tom sat talking with Judge Wilcox. He was told of Str[-]ther's dismissal, our appoint- ment and so forth, but to our surprise showed no joy. Perhaps he was very sleepy. We have at present resolved to invite the Company to build for themselves on the Lee Lot, we renting the house, until the time comes for building on the Western part. They refusing we will build on our own land in the vicinity of New Flanders. Next year, we will either board with the [-]'s if they will stay, or rent this ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p013.jpg) house from them. If we are building on the Lee Lot it would be so great a convenience to have Mrs. W. keeping house here for us, so that I might be free to oversee our workmen while Tom is busy on the lands. We walked to the old place in the woods and sat there to read, and were very happy together. I am not sure whether I ought to be diarising. I am so tempted to write merely on our weekday plans. We are going to try to have a Sunday School whenever we have enough Protestant settlers, but Tom most wishes to encourage the D[--] Monday August 16. Tom started this morning for the eastern portion of our Tract; where some one has been stealing timber. O. Burlingame Cornelius, and Morton accompanied him. By his desire, I wrote to Mr. Watts urging the coming of a full Committee to Smithport. I finished Baby's dress, and part of a pinafore. We are to drink tea at 5. and drive over to the post office. Tuesday. 17th. There were letters yesterday for me from Harry and Papa. No particular news save that last Thursday was the anniversary of our arrival here 14 years ago. How short a time it seems! I wrote to Charlotte in the evening telling her of our prospect of living here and offering her a home if she chose to come. When we passed the Lee Lot last night Mr. Wilcox told me that Struther's brother-in-law had been here lately to see it. It looked pretty desolate, bristling over with stumps. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p014.jpg) Saturday August 21. I was too busy last Wednesday to write in my diary. I copied a long letter Tom wrote last year to the Sunbury & Erie Board, describing his three routes and it was a very pleasant surprise to him when he arrived. Poor Mrs. Market called, and told me about the fire in which their house was burned down. I undertook to make some baby clothes for her. Thursday Tom was busy, and I sat by him and sewed. In the evening Mr. Jarrett arrived, and by Tom's desire I stayed out of the parlour and so sat in the kitchen and read to Mrs. Wilcox. Friday Tom went off early with Mr. Jarrett. I sewed, and wrote a long letter to Papa, and helped make cake before dinner. After dinner I drove to the Post Office and found quite a budget for Tom. Home letters, one from Mr. Struthers, one from Mr. Black, and the great news that the Queen's message had passed the telegraph. So communication really is established. I am so glad. I have made two pinafores and a frock for my kittens this week, and am now making a baby's chemise for Mrs. Market. Dear little tiny clothes, I wish I could put them on a wee darling of my own. This morning I wrote to Lizzie Mitchell & Bessie and sewed a little. I also made two loaves of "salt rising" bread. After dinner went with the babies to the blackberry pasture and let them eat their fill. As I held Elisha. Harry complimented me by saying ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p015.jpg) "Mamma, you're as good as Dear Friend's Mother. You're like the Virgin Mary." Tom returned about sunset, and we worked at his Maps till a late bed-time. Sunday, Aug, 22. Tom has told the S. Mary's people that he will bring us there on Wednesday. It is too far for him to ride to the West Creek Summits from here, and S. Mary's is so much more convenient a rendezvous for him. I do not like the idea of quitting this dear old place. We are not to return here at the end of our visit but to go to Smethport for a week. There has been a Surveyor here since breakfast. I hope we shall be able to enjoy quieter Sundays when we come here to live. I am afraid however that we shall be over- -whelmed with Dutch. It is their great visiting day. Still if Tom agrees with me I think we can manage with- -out wounding their feelings. We might adopt the old Puritan fashion, keeping Saturday evening and Sunday morning; but then our visitors come chiefly in the morning Men such as Burlingame might be invited to come, and told that our fashion was to hold our little service and keep the day in family communion, but let him have access to our books and be allowed to read quietly by himself. The priest, if we are over on the Lee Lot will be dining with us once a month. If I grew intimate enough with him I could soon find out how best to serve the flock. Tom and I walked over to the Lee Lot this morning after Mr Tillheart went and before Mr. Burlingame ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p016.jpg) came and we kindled a stump on the spot we chose as most likely for our house site. There was a strong wind that soon drove the flames eddying round the root, and the first fire on our hearth enabled us to go all round the clearing judging of the effect the house would produce from each side. The forest is cleared off a hill top which has several undulations. Its principal ridge runs back & up from the land to a sort of bay in the woods, and on the Williamsville side sinks quite abruptly in one place where are two good springs and a tuft of young cherry trees. One of these springs we proposed ([drawing of described house on hill, with the following caption]) This is not in the least like it! keeping for cattle. At the other we suggested a spring- house of logs, level with the spring on one side, and backed by the rising ground. Above it, I proposed Tom's exercising his ingenuity to make a fanciful little log house in one part of which I might photograph, and where the women could wash. If we put up a Company House we would dig our foundation this autumn, and have our wood hauled this winter over the snow. I asked Tom whether a timber road couldn't be cut to the S. Mary's Road. He says Yes, it would shorten our hauling distance and be a pretty ride through the woods afterwards. Tuesday. Yesterday I rode with Tom to New Flanders, and on our return found Mrs. Totten ready to spend the afternoon. In the evening sewed while Tom wrote. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p017.jpg) W Today Tom went to Ridgway with the Judge, and will not be home till midnight or tomorrow morning We are to start for a week's sojourn in S. Mary's to- -morrow; I do not anticipate it with pleasure. In anticipation, Jane got up a grand washing and ironing, and I had to mind the babies all day long except for two hours and a half while I did some copying and writing for Tom. I also wrote to Bess. I am pretty tired and shall go to bed as soon as I have finished Tom's copying. Thursday Afternoon (S. Mary's Elk County.) August 26. Tom arrived on Tuesday Night just after I jumped into bed. He was very much relieved by the sight of the copying I had finished for him. It had been a per- -petual incubus, he said, never having time to finish it, and knowing it ought to be done. Yesterday morning we packed and started on our ter- -ribly fatiguing journey. The carriage broke down once, and the harness fell down at least twenty times. My bonnet ribbons were cut up for splices: we had nine on reaching S. Mary's. During the whole of the ride to New Flanders Tom was sick and depressed but he cheered up after our break down and but for the annoying accidents the afternoon would have been very pleasantly spent. Tom was very anxious to arouse my sympathies for the poor Germans, and was disappointed, I felt, when we came to the hill whence we were to ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p018.jpg) see our first of S. Mary's. To make up for the dis- -appointed look my cold praise had called into his dear face, I resolved to do my best to get on well with the people. This morning Mrs Luhr Junior offered to accompany me, as I wanted to do some shopping. So I wrote a long letter to Mother, and took it, with Tom's letters to Mrs Cumming, Col. Wm Cumming and B. Young, to post as we went along. (Mrs Luhr is the wife of "Charley Luhr" son of the inn- -keeper. He and his sister Josephine have both had a good education, and are fitted for a far better station than he at least occupies. He waits on table, and his wife acts as chambermaid, the mother and a lame brother cooking and baking. Their cookery by the bye is very nice, and their butter, purchased from young Mrs Luhr's mother, is delicious. —(By the bye she throws the butter into water twice, and presses out the buttermilk much more thoroughly than Mrs Wilcox does.) ) Well, we walked up the street among the scattered houses which Mrs L. told me were occupied by people of various trades who scarcely practised them having no market for their labor, and who escaped a miserable subsistence from their farms. Four shops have a pretty good trade, and one cabinet maker— four others don't attempt it. Then there is an organ builder, etc, etc- Poor little Mrs L. would walk with me though her first baby is coming either this week or next. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p019.jpg) So I hurried my shopping, and returned home, meeting a warm welcome from the babies. I then hemmed a veil, I had bought, and dined in my bedroom with Harry. Just after dinner little Mrs L. came in, offering to accom- -pany me to the convent, three quarters of a mile from here. I told her it was too far for her, so she disappeared and presently came back to say that both her husband and his mother said it would do her no harm to go. I therefore despatched Jane and the babies to buy the one an apron, the others a stick of candy as souvenirs of S. Mary's, and with Mrs L. turned in the opposite direction to gain the convent. Each house in S. M's is isolated from the others by a little enclosure sometimes of gardenpatch, sometimes waste land. The town goes up and down hill, and spreads quite a distance. There are several two story loghouses, and twelve or thirteen one and a half story frame houses. There is one of brick, two of the llght-coloured stone of the region, of which they have built themselves a church (,"the monu- -ment of S. Mary's” the priest told me) there is one house of ashlar work and the remainder all one story log houses. One of these little cottages looked very pretty. At the little gate stood two lofty poles bending together under the graceful influence of their hopvine burden. The little door yard as they call it was overgrown with gay sunflowers & hollyhocks, and the rough piazza had a creeping vine trailing over it. The little house itself had ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p020.jpg) been coloured with a creamy wash that looked extremely well, and there was a clean white curtain to the small-paned window that looked as if the people had meant to have some little effect produced. Leaving all these houses behind us, we turned the shoulder of the hill, and came on a windy clearing the barren soil peeping out perpetually from the scanty grasses. A little further, going up another hill we saw the roof of the convent, and a turn of the path brought us close to the buildings. They stand in a forlorn little vegetable patch with a trellis work summer house, surmounted by a cross and sadly in want of paint, keeping watch over it. The buildings are, a priest's house painted yellow once upon a time, and a medley of rickety clap -board erections, higgledy, piggledy, called the convent & convent-school. These, Mrs. Luhr said, were built "by littles and by littles, just as they could not do without them, and just as they could put them." They all had close wooden gratings shutting the poor brides of heaven out from its light, and were guiltless of paint. Blackened by exposure on the gaunt hill side, how desolate they looked. We had to go all round before we reached the little porch and pulled the string. Mysterious performance! Scarce two minutes had elapsed before the door opened by an invisible agency (save to those who saw the string that drew it back), and [-] I found myself for the first time within the precincts of a convent. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p021.jpg) There was a wooden grating on the right hand behind which appeared the honest German face of a lay-sister in her white headgear & black dress. Mrs Luhr asked for the Mother Superior, and while the nun went for her, we had leisure to survey the whole extent of the parloir. Its length was about six feet, and its width about five. There were two wooden chairs, and a table on one side, and a very rusty little iron stove completed the furniture. On the unpainted wooden walls hung a plaster (Nurem- -berg paste?) crucifix, an engraving of the Madonna), in a shabby frame, and a Tableau. Ordres Religieux Costumes de [-]emmes in which there was a ludicrous painfulness. It seemed such a solemn parody on the worldly gazette Le Follet, as though one were to publish Costumes de Cadavres de tous les pays. — A heavy foot now went plodding overhead, the thin board ceiling quivering as the substan- -tial person passed hither & thither, evidently smoothing the hair or something of the kind. Meantime Mrs. L. whispered that the Mother Superior was always ailing, something wrong with her lungs, "They was all ailing someways, 'cause they was all accustomed to exercise, and now they didn't get none at all." They used to have a Superior who had such a high temper that none of the nuns liked her. But she went off to Erie carrying the most skil- -ful nuns with her and all the little treasury of the house contained. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p022.jpg) 16 Now they had a new Superior with whom they were very pleased and contented. The nuns are from sixteen to about thirty years of age; these are twenty-five of them. The Superior now came in behind the grating and at Mrs L's request went for their work. She is about thirty with a round rosy face, a nubbly nose, and round protruding blue eyes. She is under Benedictine rule "not reformed Benedictine" as she carefully informed me. The dress is a gown of black serge with a long straight piece before and behind reaching from head to foot. On the head is a regular Middle Ages Gorget, over which a square of black stuff is thrown. She came in with another nun bringing their work. A little square of net worked (with darning cotton) in a pattern of grapevines for a chalice cover, a cushion for a pulpit, of canvas embroidered with an open book in gay Berlin wools, and trimmed with blue ribbon. A rocking chair cushion of black cloth beautifully embroidered in wools, and similar strips for a prie- -dieu chair. A pair of pictures, a Madonna and a Christ, the heads and arms cut out of coloured engravings and the clothes and surroundings worked in wools silk, beads and gold tinsel. A third picture, a Christ, with a great deal of tinsel. Mrs Luhr pulled my dress and whispered— "Oh do buy that, to help the poor souls!" I asked the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p023.jpg) price. Only $40. I shook my head and said to Mrs Luhr– "I cannot buy that, I am not rich enough." They all looked chopfallen, and I felt flat and very uncomfortable. I selected the little chalice cover, the intrinsic value of which was about 3 cents– I paid a dollar for it. Then the Superior said— "If you would like to help the nunnery there are some grapesticks." As her English was oddly pronounced I fancied it was some fund to which I could contribute so I said – "Yes, I would like to give $5 to the grape sticks." The sister went out and brought in four branches covered with artificial vine leaves and grapes, to my surprise, and I then saw she meant me to buy them. She gave a gentle sigh and said "I will give you these for $5.50." So I bought them for the little church at Williams- -ville, and refused to be tempted by some "flower sticks or shoes." A girl who is to receive the habit as soon as the Father Abbot comes, was ordered to follow us with the "grapesticks" and we left the convent. I was so thankful to feel the fresh air ; I wondered they could endure the rule of never quitting the miserable little garden, while the glorious free mountains were all round them. I felt chilled and sad as I went away I have so seldom seen such cheerless hopeless poverty, and when I came home and met my rosy children bounding to greet me, I almost cried for thankfulness to Him who laid my life journey out as wife and ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p024.jpg) mother with kindly heart expanding duties instead of that "set gray life, and apathetic end." I was fortunately able to cure the poor convent-novice of a violent toothache to her great content. While I was working on the piazza two priests called, one of them the one who dined with us at Williamsville ~Tom came home from his West Creek Summits in time for tea, and spent the evening with the engineers. I spent mine as I did the one before sitting in my room till I was tired enough to go bed, Friday. A rainy day. Minded the babies a good deal, made a little shirt for Mrs Market's baby, wrote diary, finished Irving's "Astoria", and read some of the "Israel of the Alps". Tom was busy with the engineers, and with picking up stones at a certain place where he hopes to find a better vein of coal than the S. Mary's people have yet found. It is on the priests' estate, and so will probably help out those poor nuns. Tom spent the evening with me. Saturday August 28th, Pouring all the morning save for occa- sional ten minute lulls. In one of these we went to see the church, the largest one erected by [-] so small a com- -munity, in the country. It is of freestone, and quite wonderfully fitted up inside. There is a small organ which Tom tried, and pronounced very well toned, and they have subscribed for a $3000 one. On our return I sat down to my sewing again, packed, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p025.jpg) and after dinner we started for home, Mrs. Luhr presenting us with two large sponge-cakes for our refreshment on the journey. It rained hard for about an hour after we started, but then cleared up beautifully and we enjoyed the drive very much. We stopped at the post office for letters, and had a grand supply— Two from Bess, two from Papa, two from Willie, and one announcing Charlotte's safe arrival. Besides, there were sundry newspapers, and two business letters for Tom. My letter from Papa enclosed a cheque for $50 for the poor people here. I was so glad to receive it. Sunday. Aug. 29th Raining again. I had to re-arrange my trunk. Learned several hymns, told Harry the story of Moses among the bulrushes, and read with Tom. Our sermon was upon tha "Sabbath - Its Sha[-] and Its Substance," and besides being interesting in itself, suggested materiel for a long talk on the way in which we would try to make Sundays happy days to the children. We talked of teaching them to keep a journal for Sundays of the week's doings and failings: of having good books and maps of the Holy Lands, &c &c One of my pleasantest childish recollections is of our sitting round the Everton fire at dusk on Sundays and repeating verses in turn from Papa and Mamma down to little Harry. "Little Harry," whose 20th birthday dawns tomorrow! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p026.jpg) Another occupation is paraphrasing Bible stories; and I think Tom might tell them a story of his own or Elisha's adventures, or about our ancestors. Then there are a number of nice S. School Union stories. A walk with us, in which interesting stories of Natural History could be told them: all these are pleasures and might be reserved for Sundays. This evening little Harry asked me to let repeat "Little drops of water," which she did perfectly. Then she said her prayer, and afterwards part of "In summer on the headlands." She is learning it, and "One there is above all others." She came to me just now "I want to speak to you one moment, Mrs Kane." "Well, Harry?" "Pangousk kousk ye" "Why Harry what's that?" "Belgian, Mamma". "Who says so?" "Dowton says so." Tom asked her whom Dowton resembled. He's re image of his father, dear Papa." Finished "the Israel of the Aps"—a history of the Vaudois church. It might have been very interesting, but is written in too disjointed a manner. I had no idea that the church had existed so long. It is spoken of in the year A.D 800. I mean to keep a little account of the way in which Papa's $50 is spent to show him. I am going to give up my gentle Spanish, and to learn the harsh German for Christ's sake so that I may be able to understand the German's here, ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p027.jpg) and be able to relieve them better. I am also going to try again at the "Diseases of Women and Children", the Treatment of "Scrofula", and curing wounds. Scrofula is very prevalent here, I am sorry to say. All the diseases or rather disorders linked to constipation too. That reminds me that we are going to try dif- -ferent fruits here. Gooseberries, raspberries, strawberries, currants, & plums will probably do well here, and their extensive use would be well for the people's health. (Cranberries in the marsh?) Every one says this will make a good sheep-growing country.* By the bye, I have not yet said anything about Tom's plans of settling. He much prefers Dutch to Yankee settlers, as they try to improve instead of impoverishing the land. A Yankee squeezes all he can get out of his "location", and then "swaps it" for a new piece. A German makes it "Home" and coaxes Nature to do her best. Tom therefore means to try to get "German settler-current from S. Mary's. Their road is so badly engineered that the mountains between Elk Creek & [---]wany interpose a barrier to the settling up of the later stream which has narrow but quite rich flats. Now Tom finds that he could make a summit road for them going round the heads of, instead of descending into the valley of Power's Run which would save 50 cents a hundred on every load of goods to S. Mary's besides saving ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p028.jpg) the wear of horse flesh and vehicles. This would bring settlers into [---]wany, and so much nearer Williamsville. The next step would be to improve the road beyond New Islanders, which is atrocious. It can be improved either by following the summits on its present right hand (this however leads one to say, why not carry it off to the side of Clarion, which secures a good side hill road, and this would be fatal to poor Judge W.) or by keeping a side hill road along Johnson's Run. This would cause far more travel than they have at present. Now settlers would flow up towards their small chapel at the intersection of the S. Mary's Road and the turnpike. It is a little log building standing on a rising ground back from the road. We have already given it a standard crucifix, and the "grape sticks" and "chalice-coves" are for it. Tom proposes to try and give the remainder of the little piece down to the road. Then to give them the paint and nails to colour the church, and a neat fence. Then to let the priest preach a sermon in favour of the men turning into grub up the stumps, lay out the grave yard neatly, planting some healthy young trees, and making a nice gravel walk round it, and a good fence with a little gate with an arch and crucifix over it. Then he would cheapen a farm to a blacksmith ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p029.jpg) who would bring settler's there. Besides we would welcome the priest to our house. Near the church a road is laid down by Ricky Run to the "State Road". Tom would open this and so lead settlers down there. Beyond, on the State Road comes Buena Vista, where there are Germans already, and where the railroad may pass. After that, they will string along the projected road to Marsh's corners, which will fill up the unsettled S. W. warrants. *I made just now a suggestion to Tom wh. he treated as being good. They say the sheep if penned at night within a moveable fence, will enrich ground very much. I proposed that the Co. should stock some of the deserted impoverished farms with sheep and lease them to sheep farmers. The plan might be tried at first by sticking two, and hiring the shepherd, who might easily fence the farm also. When that farm is fenced and well manured, it, move the sheep to another, and so on. I think Tom's plans are first-rate. Thursday Evening. Have had a sprained wrist all this week. Can't write now. I am going to Smethport tomorrow with Tom for a day. Friday. Immediately after writing the above. I changed my mind, finding that I would either need to return at the cost of a special conveyance or else ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p030.jpg) be absent from the babies for three days. Dear Tom had returned through the sun from Smeth- -port with a riding horse, that I might have a pleas- ant trip there, partly riding, partly driving. The Company's Committee, whom he went to meet, were delayed by the death of a relative of Mr Dauson's but hope to arrive there this evening. His head ached badly so I sat by him with my knitting till he fell asleep. After tea I made him read a pleasant book for a little while, but he soon set to work for an hour and a quarter, and then we went to bed. I had a letter from Bessie, reproving my disorderli- ness. It was kindly meant, and kindly written, and though being a true charge, I felt a little sore upon the subject, I hope I will profit by it. It is a fault I am not ignorant of, but I have always given up in my numerous spasmodic efforts to correct it. I am not sure that I can do it, but I will try, please God. Tom took me a drive to Barnes's one afternoon, and while he has been away I have walked to Struble's, and to the Lee Lot. Saturday. A "muggy" day. Wrote to Mother, and a note to Bess, saying that I knew of the fault, etc. Tried to write it in a Christian spirit. Sewed and knitted, and minded babies. Last night was very lonely without Tom. I sat by myself ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p031.jpg) in the parlour and grieved over my want of tidiness, and made good resolutions. I hope they will be kept but I know how often I have made them! I am reading Shakspere over again — I have read The Tempest, Comedy of Errors, and Much Ado about Nothing. Since I came here I have read also The Westminster Review for July, Household Words (September) Astoria, Don Quixote (1st vol.) Israel of the Alps, — and sewed — six baby's chemises learned three new sew embroidery stitches, made Elisha a frock and an apron each for Harry and himself. Then I have done a good deal of darning and patching, and have written this much diary, a long paper for Tom, and have written about 25 letters. I have picked up as much housekeeping information as I could. It's very little for nearly three weeks work! I forgot — I am making fine crochet lace for Harry's drawers. I have about a yard and a half finished. Tuesday 7th Sept. On Sunday I did not feel well, so I rose somewhat cross. But it was an exquisite day and Judge Wilcox proposed his driving Mrs. W. and myself to meet the party whom we expected. I was on the point of refusing, but poor Mrs W's [-]agged face quite lighted up at the relaxation from her toiling life in which there is no Sunday rest. So we went. It was very sweet and fresh after the rains, and we enjoyed our drive to Lucas's very much. There was no sign of our party however, so we returned. After dinner I read a sermon, learned a psalm, and then fell ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p032.jpg) asleep as I had a bad headache. On Monday, Tom brought up his Committee, and we had a few very disagreeable days. Today, Thursday they are gone. They came up with a wonderful idea of the riches of the country and its wonderful farming lands. They had to be disabused, and the process was an unpleasant one. My head ached all the time, and poor Tom was fevered, and overfatigued. He fell over a stump in the woods, and hurt his lame foot, too. We have to give up our See Sot. The Committee came up prepared to have a "Company's House" where the Agent might live and take charge. They wanted an inferior house too, and behaved as though they must be on their guard lest the agent should get things out of them. So Tom just dropped the subject and leased Judge Wilcox's house, farm, and Lime Kiln Sot. We are to put the first year's rent (of $100) on in repairs and will make ourselves very comfortable and happy, I daresay. Saturday 11th September Usual jog trot. Nothing particular has happened. Tom is away at S. Mary's, and I have written to Mother and Harry Wood. Sunday September 12th We had letters from Mother, Pat, Bessie, John and Charlotte. At home they are very sad, and longing for us. Tom came home at suppertime with a bad headache but had no sooner read the letters than he insisted on my going home with Morton. I forgot to mention in my diary that he had con- ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p033.jpg) -fessed how dull he would be without us, and that on Wednesday we propose to go over to Brown's to board, as the Wilcoxes want to go to Nunda. We are to make far more repairs here I think than the $100 will cover. The judge wants a fence put up as far as the top of the hill, and while he wants external improvements, rather shrinks from internal ones. For my own part, I don't think that ought to be in our improvements, or rather repairs. Round the garden, yes, but along the farm, no. However, the ceilings must be re-plastered, some of the rooms re-papered, the piazza repaired, and either gutters and a vat put up to catch the rain-water or else an old well dug out. They are so ill off for water here in anything like a dry season. The garden fence must be renewed, and painted, and the house wants paint badly. The vegetable patch, and the garden want manure, and if half of these repairs come out of the hundred dollars I shall be surprised. My dear Tom has planned a hundred improvements, new rooms, etc. If we ever carry them out it must be in future years. We must buy our furniture and thus make some inroad upon our capital and I want to try hard to keep down our expenses. Our servants' hire and transportation will be very heavy, and my ignorance and stupidity will be expensive too. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p034.jpg) I wish I could keep Tom's spirits up! He works excessive- -ly hard, because it prevents him from thinking, and then during his forced intervals of rest, his spirits re-act, and he is profoundly sad. I hope he will not be very unhappy today, poor fellow. Sunday Afternoon. Dear Tom has been much more cheerful. We had our reading together and took two walks. Tuesday. Yesterday was pleasant too. I read part of Rousseau's Emile, which I have just begun, and darned some of Tom's stockings, which I finished today. I had a very pleasant drive with Tom to Mrs Market's to whom I carried the little shirts, and a paint-box for the children. She was very, very grateful, poor woman, and we felt very sorry for her in her poverty. We gave her $3 out of Papa's fund, for to aid in buying her kitchen stove. We returned home just in time to be sufficiently rested before dinner. Then Tom lay down and I read him to sleep, and darned until suppertime. As Tom's mare wanted shoeing we drove down the hill, and I took the opportunity to visit Mrs Howard. We came home through an exquisitely clear atmosphere, the moon and stars being unusually brilliant, and when we reached the top of the hill, the West was all one glowing glow of orange fading through green to the pure night-blue sky overhead. Read aloud to Tom for a little while in the evening. This morning Tom was away before six! ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p035.jpg) Cornelius came back yesterday, and he has probably taken the exploring party of engineers over the wrong summit. Else they have cheated in their measure- ments. Tom has gone to ascertain the truth. Another object of today's labour is to mark out the proper road for the St Mary's people round the heads of Powers' Run. The last time he was there, he went to tell them that he thought he could make the Committee give $500 towards repairing it by New Islanders if they advanced a similar sum. They were overjoyed, and he then promised he would cut out the new road at his own expense. He has also promised to try to make Postmaster Brown make theirs a mail-road. He is going to return tonight, but I am afraid he has undertaken far too much to do so, with- -out fatiguing himself cruelly. I darned all the morning, made a provisional bargain with Mrs Wilcox for carpets &c, wrote to Pat. After dinner I packed everything I could, made a list of the contents of our medicine chest which we may as well leave behind us, wrote diary, read the papers, and finished up my darning- Tom returned in the evening and I read aloud a little while to him. Wednesday. The blacksmith's wife, Mrs Totten, came to be taught crochet. Tom and Mr Wilcox made their bargain ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p036.jpg) and about eleven we started in a pouring rain for Mr Brown's. They give us a parlour, a large room opening off for the children, and a small one 8 by 7½ for us. I read to Tom in the evening. In the afternoon he wrote to Missrs. Struthers, Biddle, Burchard, and to Papa. Thursday. Tom wrote to Pat, and then started for his new S. Mary's road. I have begun a green frock for Harry. The weather is showery, and lowering. Friday Tom gave today to me. It rained all the forenoon but we were busy and did not mind that, and after dinner we drove to Buena Vista. In the evening read to Tom. Saturday Tom passed a bad night. This morning he and I rode on horseback through the woods to Johnson's and our own Luce Lot. A beautiful place it is, and a delightful ride and happy morning I enjoyed. The afternoon was passed sitting by Tom and reading him to sleep. I think he probably passed over another of those fits of stupor, as he did the day we went to S. Mary's. Sebastian Retzer came to see about some difficulty about his land in the evening. Tom gave Jeff. Brown $60. Sunday 19th Dear Tom and I had a happy Sunday stroll through the woods, gathering sweet white violets, repeating Herbert's "Sunday", and divesting ourselves of weekday thoughts. After dinner I read the History of the Reformation, and fell asleep over it! Tom is going to breakfast with the Wilcoxes tomorrow, on his way to Marvin Creek. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p037.jpg) 20th September Monday. Read little, sewed, finishing Harry's green frock; wrote a long letter to Helen and one to Mother from whom we had nice letters, as well as one to me from Papa, and from Wm Cumming to Tom. 21st Tuesday. Lately I have been puzzled by two questions of a divided duty. One of them is, that I am very well aware of my disorderliness. Even Tom has to acknowledge it. He says that I gave my time instead to helping him with his papers, and that it was a far more important thing to do so, than to care for a neatness which any servant could attend to. That is partly true, but I daresay my Pho- -tography took up the time I ought to be neat in. I am sure I ought to be neat, and I am sure I ought to help my darling with his papers, as much as ever I can. I am not sure about photographing. Spare half-hours cannot be given to it, it demands great part of the day. Will it do for me to make a rule never to photo- -graph any day unless my room and clothes are in order, and Tom does not want my services? My second puzzle is this: We have spent a great deal since we left Philadelphia, Tom says, by the time we reach home a whole year's salary will be gone. Nearly $158 it is true are invested in furniture, hay, etc, for next year. Still, we have most of our furnishing to do, our repairs, our servants' hire and board—in short, our utmost efforts cannot prevent our entrenching on our principal. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p038.jpg) The other day we drove to Buena Vista, and fell into conversa- -tion upon our affairs. Tom said we must also have a carriage and pair, a riding horse, and two saddles, and that he had ordered a man to build a large new room at Judge Wilcox'es. I tried to dissuade him, but he shewed me that our carriage and horse hire here would soon run up to the cost of a carriage, and a horse to match our Frank. I yielded therefore in this. The riding horse, I cannot see as anything but a luxury. About the new room, he said, he could not have me living in a doggery. I said I liked our little old room, it was very comfortable. But he told me, that he had never mentioned to me how he had been obliged to train himself before he could endure its closeness, and that his Mother with her sense of smell would find it in- -tolerable. He reminded me that I was no housekeeper, and that even our large room at home, and the nursery, I suf- -fered to become so that she would sometimes turn her own servants in, to scrub and clean the rooms thorough- -ly. I write this down that the pain it gave me to hear it from his lips, and to know it to be true, may help me to do better in future. He said I had never known what it was to be sick away from home shut up in a close little hole of a room, and that for the sake of sickness also we must have this room. We must also, he said, have an icehouse for Mother. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p039.jpg) My plan was, that this first expensive year, we should have no guests at all. I thought that I should thus be able to get into housekeeping harness, struggle through my blunders and mistakes with no one to see them, and, I hoped the next year would see me better able to manage. Tom says that having Bessie and Mother he should feel more free in staying during the winter of [--]rn Rock. He said, if I did not have them, would I not have Harry Wood to keep me company? No, I said, I did not want people to keep me cheerful. But, from the way he reverted to it, I suddenly saw, what my blind selfishness had hitherto overlooked, that the poor fellow himself wanted the comfort of having his family round him. I can, I know, soon conquer my touchiness on the sub- -ject of housekeeping, so I would willingly give way and have them all, but for two things. First, I cannot think it right to go to that expense, next, I think he forgets when he is away, how much his nerves suffer for the quiet mountain life. If I cannot make him happy, I can at least make him peacefully quiet, and his health gains by it. However he said I must make up my own mind, and not vex him with such matters. He frets over our smaller means, I find, poor fellow. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p040.jpg) If it were only on my account, Heaven knows how light- -hearted and content I am in my "doggery" and how little I want to go back. Sunday. Last week chronicles my first rides on horseback. I went with Tom to the "Luce Lot" one of our own pieces of land, or rather Elisha's, and had a delightful time. I had too my first day of sickness up here, fortu- nately when Tom was away. On Friday came a letter and cipher from B.Y. wh. I spent the evening in making out. On Wednesday I had a long walk in the woods with Miss Brown. Poor Tom was thrown from his horse going down a moun- -tain slope, and much bruised, on Thursday. I had a nice walk with Tom. He wanted to see Weidert about our chapel improvement, and Stolz about the new Islanders road, but save these two interruptions we were walking quietly through our sweet woods. It is very tranquil and peace ful here, I hope I am gaining strength for the winter. Looking over my diary I see how happy I have been though my plans as respects our See Lot house are no longer possible. Sunday October 2nd The past has been a very quiet week. I have not felt as if there were anything to write about. Yesterday Tom was at S. Mary's and Ridgway, the day before at S. Mary's and New Islanders. Thursday he spent at home, warrant hunting. Wednesday, he spent at Ridgway. I forget the events! of Monday and Tuesday. I have had ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p041.jpg) a severe cold all the week which has perhaps made me even more stupid than usual. I have mended and darned as usual, read "Dr Thorne". I have made up a little blue frock for Elisha, and made crochet lace for another pair of drawers for Harry Sunday October 10th. I was disappointed by a very cloudy sky last night from seeing our beautiful comet in its fullest loveliness. I shall never see it again. How seldom we can so forcibly realise that in these short lives of ours an opportunity missed is lost, past recall, and comes not again. I have not written except on Sundays for two weeks. The last week has been one of storms, wind, rain, snow, and thunder. I fancied Harry Croupy at one time, but she seems well enough. Tom has been overworked, and looks thin. We had a very long walk yesterday evening (2½ miles) after the rain ceased, to Sebastian Retzers. We found a beautiful specimen of lepidodendron in one of the upper white sandstones, which was of some geological importance (By the bye, I happen to be reading Sesley's "Coal and Its Topography) The afternoon was wild and sad. Tier on tier of gray cloud scudded across the cold blue sky, and the hemlocks looked black as in a photograph, while the ground was strewed with the draggled leaves of the deciduous trees, which the chilly wind ever and anon showered across the way. Once as we stood we heard the rustle of some wild animal, once the distant bark of a dog, and part of the ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p042.jpg) road lying through the forest we were accompanied in it by the sound of the woodsman's axe, not ringing cheerfully as it does on a bright sunshiny day, but prolonged by the echoes in a most dismal manner. One only lifelike sight greeted us. There is a most forlorn little bit of half-grown-up again clearing on which a squatter has built a shanty. To The windiest side of the house they have sheltered a little more by stuffing rags between the boards but on the other sides you can see out to the woods beyond through the gaps as you ride past. The Company talk of evicting these people I believe. At the window As we plashed home through the mud, a little face framed by its flaxen curls, was pressed against the window panes, in admiration of my bright-plaid shawl. The little face was like a light in the gray dull evening—it so shines, the only brightness my remembrance of the walk can recall. Today we went in the other direction, a little way up the St Mary's road, and Tom found lime in Weidert's hill. I told Tom I felt like giving up keeping a diary, but he re-persuaded me. We were talking over what we must do this winter. I do not think there is much use in forming plans if we are to judge from the difference between what we planned, and what we did last winter. However we determined on giving up our evenings to Mother and Bess and that Tom should oftener be with Pat. Also we spoke of studying together at the Library. [The following line is written vertically on the left side of the page] Sept 30/59 Passed the same house. The squatter has been evicted. An old rusty stove and a few beams are all that is left of the house ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p043.jpg) Tom intends passing a fortnight in 16th Street. But he thinks it better for me to remain at home. Tom did intend to send us home by ourselves on Wednesday, but now he proposes starting with us tomorrow week. I shall be very glad to get home as the weather threatens to be very inclement, and I am anxious about the children. I am very thankful I did not go home and leave Tom alone here as he urged. He would have been miserably lonely. Wednesday. October 13. Tom was away at Straight Creek on Monday. Yesterday, Election day we passed at Judge Wilcox's. The stormy autumn weather has come in earnest. Yester- day was horribly stormy, so was today though poor Tom made an early start for [---]wany. I have been amusing myself lately in writing scraps of descriptions of Elk County to please Tom. I am in the third volume of D'Aubigne's Reformation, and we are reading Hepworth Dixon's Life of Penn, the latter peculiarly interesting. I am glad to be able to like Penn so much. There is no news from home today. Sunday. Tom made a great over exertion on Wednesday so that Thursday had to be spent at home. Friday he went to Buena Vista, Saturday he started for Shippen, Shipping they call it here. He intends to return tomorrow night. He has had two days of beautiful Indian Summer weather, but they say it is brewing for a storm. He has been looking unwell all the week, and Elisha is very far from well. Harry looks heavy and sickly too. I wish we were safe at home. ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p044.jpg) 38 We strolled out this morning, and gathered calamites and stig- maria roots. Last night I fell asleep to wolf music for the first time. Jane says the people here say they would rather starve than take boarders again—the trouble is so great. I do not think they are likely ever to have boarders who pay so much and give so little trouble. We have but one fire, Jane brings the wood and attends to it, and keeps her nursery in order. They don't even wash or provide the nursery with towels. There are four of them, yet my bed remains unmade till noon often. Scarcely a day passes that there are not hairs in the food. Elisha's milk is half boiled—they are huffed when I ask ever so mildly to have the next better done, and boil it for hours till the poor boy can't touch it.—This seems very grum- bly but I think I have held my tongue to Tom which is the main thing, and he fortunately imagines things very clean. I hope we'll get cannily away, and—I hope never to stay here again. I am uneasy about my dearest. He works so very hard, and I cannot prevent it. Sometimes I wonder whether if we had adhered to ordinary customs and lived entirely in our own house he would not have become accustomed to depending less on his family, and felt their loss less. I do not know how to com- -fort him. He has not the comfort of realising a future meeting with them, and so loses a chief consolation. If he does not work too hard to retain any feeling when he goes to bed, but one of extreme exhaustion, he lies awake grieving most of the night. He longs for home, but is scarcely much stronger than when he left, and I suppose we must expect a winter of ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p045.jpg) alternate overwork and mental misery. God give me strength to help him, and influence to restrain him from doing too much. I can't wonder that he does grieve. How even I could mourn for my dear kind friend if I did not need my best cheerfulness for his wife and children. Poor Mother! She chafes and frets against her mortal prison, as my darling does, and how lonely she must be. Sometimes it seems as if it were selfish to wish to keep them here. Poor Mother said to me one day this summer, as she came in towards evening from the garden—"It is a constant disappointment to me when night comes. I can't help wr feeling, every piece of work I do in the day, as if he would come home in the evening, and I want everything nice for him. When you've done everything for thirty years looking for the opinion of one person you can't imagine what a terrible blank there is now. And I don't realise it all yet!" And then with a sigh she went away. May God help me never to be forget- -ful of her desolation! How often I am so, how unfeeling to her. May I be forgiven. I can fancy how she feels for I know the sweetness of having the loving sym- -pathy and praise of a dear husband in every act. I am glad that my worst sorrow, and which I am told I must again go through—it is my chief duty to avoid thinking of or recalling. Oh Heavenly Friend at whose feet I may lay down all the anxieties and fears with which I ought not to burden my dear companion what should I do but for thy love which enables me ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p046.jpg) to lay me down and sleep in peace. Thou Lord only makest me to dwell in safety. Sunday afternoon. Rousseau advises the bringing up of children in the country on account of the peacefulness of the peasantry There are four houses in the Hollow. Mrs Tolten is at variance with the I'alls, so are the Howard's, Mrs Hart beat his wife who took refuge at I'all's and they are all at dagger point. Next come the Jackson's who are at feud with E Burlingame who is at feud with the Markets and J. Burlingame. Then Mrs Hoyt is married to Mr H. without her parent's consent, the two Retzer's are at variance—so far as I know every one hates every one else. What a pity it is! I wish we could help to make peace! Tom gave up the question of an addition to the house, for the present. I am heartily glad. Before I go away let me see what I have read and sewed here Books Read. Things Sewed Rousseau's Emile 5 Aprons D'Allbigne's Reformation 4 vols 6 Baby's Chemises. Several of Shakspere's Plays 3 " De Laine Frocks. Dixon's Life of Penn Croch'ed Lesley's Manual of Coal Lace for two pair sleeves Hills of the Shatemuc Three " pantalettes Dr Thorne Darned and mended Little Dorrit For ourselves & babies including Irving's Astoria 16 Darns in one pair of trousers Israel of the Alps 2 Patches in ditto. Several Reviews, Magazines & Newspapers ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p047.jpg) This is very little for five weeks work, I fear. I have written about five letters a week, and done some little copying for Tom, but that's all. Monday November 1st Fern Rock. We reached here on Saturday week but I have had no time to write. It seems as if there were a great number of visitors, but I imagine it is only because we have grown accustomed to our mountain solitude. Then I have had unpacking to do, etc, etc. Now I only—I was interrupted here, and resume on Wednes- -day evening. I have a stupefying cold, and have not written any letters nor regularly begun my ordinary occu- pations yet. I finished embroidering a petticoat for "Ly-ly" and began a canton flannel night dress, helped Bess at the sewing machine, arranged Tom's clothes and minded babies the rest of the day. Tom and I had an unex- -pected talk on Tuesday. I spoke of the chance of Mothers living in town, and said I did not think so large a household could be a happy one, and that I thought we had better not be in the same house. Tom said then, that one by one everything that made Elk County nearer ho[---] than the real Far West was gone—there was no need of living in a poor new country when we could live in a rich one. I asked him to give me a definite plan. He proposed three: To buy coal lands at I'raser's River, and supply the Pacific Steamers to go somewhere in the neighborhood of S. Bernadino, and cultivate the vine: finally, he said, to colonise one of the Central American States with Mormons, and be Protector. This, he said was Turn 2 pages ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p048.jpg) Memorandum Judge Wilcox will ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p049.jpg) Memorandum Judge Wilcox will insure the premises for himself. When all ask all repairs the house and puts up the new building, he is to set in new posts for the fencing in front of the house (the yard fence) under Judge Wilcox's direction. The rest of the rent may be refunded upon the house. Mr. Kane however will make the general repairs of the fencing in the Spring himself. Agreement of Lease Judge Wilcox lets his house barn & premises and farm on the North side of the Smethport & Milesboro turnpike, 125 acres cleared, to Thomas L. Kane for one year from December 1. next, for One Hundred Dollars which Mr. Kane may expend in repairs as agreed upon above. It is understood however that in case Judge Wilcox shall sell his place, Mr. Kane will give possession at any time on Six months notice. Mr. Kane is at liberty to quarry and burn lime at discretion on the Lime Kils Lot, engaging to display the Stratum of Limestone to advantage rather than otherwise, and also to have the use of the premises if he likes. But it is understood that he is to give up possession at any moment when required without consideration W.P. Wilcox ----- new page (VMSS792_S6_SS3_B27_F1_p050.jpg) now open to him. I refused all three, I believe rightly. I told him how happy and contented we were in Elk County, etc etc. ~ This ink is so bad, I can't write. Sunday November 7th.(?) Last week I seemed to do nothing, per- -haps because there was so much to do. Friday I spent in town. I made a skeleton suit for the night for Harry, 2 flannel petticoats, and a double wrapper. I neither read nor wrote all the week. Tom and I are trying to spend our evenings downstairs, though while the Van Reusselaers are he